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1
00:00:13,639 --> 00:00:14,639
-[gasps]
-Ay!
2
00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:15,973
-[breathing heavily]
-Oh!
3
00:00:16,058 --> 00:00:17,388
Oh, no.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
4
00:00:17,475 --> 00:00:18,725
[shushing]
5
00:00:18,811 --> 00:00:20,981
You were just having a nightmare.
6
00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:23,820
You are not at war.
7
00:00:24,775 --> 00:00:26,185
You are home.
8
00:00:27,152 --> 00:00:28,782
You are safe.
9
00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:32,163
Everything is okay.
10
00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:33,330
-Okay?
-Okay.
11
00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:39,161
Except, I'm 38 years old
sleeping with my mom.
12
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,500
And what is wrong with that?
13
00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:45,461
Are you wearing makeup?
14
00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:49,798
Of course!
15
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,513
What if I got up
in the middle of the night
16
00:00:51,594 --> 00:00:53,434
and I ran into someone?
17
00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:56,929
Like you might barge in
on Julio Iglesias in the bathroom?
18
00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:01,349
You don't know
where Julio spends his time.
19
00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:06,521
And I need to look nice
in case I die in my sleep.
20
00:01:06,609 --> 00:01:09,609
Ay, Mami, don't say that.
21
00:01:09,695 --> 00:01:10,855
No, mija,
22
00:01:11,363 --> 00:01:13,953
if I do die, and I'm not saying I will...
23
00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:18,502
make sure that they do a good job
on my face for the funeral
24
00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:20,499
and bring a little red lipstick along.
25
00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:22,331
I know.
You've been telling me since I was five.
26
00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:26,035
-Don't let them make me up like a puta!
-...them make me up like a puta!
27
00:01:26,128 --> 00:01:30,758
[both] And my shade is Scarlet Sunrise.
28
00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:35,846
Okay, I'm gonna go make breakfast.
29
00:01:54,322 --> 00:01:55,822
[breathes heavily]
30
00:01:58,160 --> 00:01:59,120
This is a good thing.
31
00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:03,787
Don't give me that look, bitch.
32
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:06,840
[theme song playing]
33
00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:56,380
-[toilet flushing]
-[knocking]
34
00:02:56,468 --> 00:02:57,928
That's two.
35
00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,221
[toilet flushes]
36
00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:00,684
That's three!
37
00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:03,179
[toilet flushing]
38
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:07,351
Oh, my God, five?
What's going on in there?
39
00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:11,977
The first one was for pee.
And the last four were to piss you off.
40
00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:13,527
[scoffs]
41
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:16,450
So you're basically murdering the planet
just to spite me.
42
00:03:16,529 --> 00:03:18,239
Yeah, and it worked.
43
00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:22,202
Ay, it's impossible to be Zen
in this house.
44
00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:26,036
You know, it's bad enough
that you take 40-minute showers.
45
00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:27,833
I have to use water to get ready.
46
00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:29,326
Every time I show up at school,
47
00:03:29,417 --> 00:03:31,377
there are all these eyes
expecting perfection.
48
00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:35,843
And you give it to them, papito. [laughs]
49
00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:37,094
Easy.
50
00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:38,385
It's setting.
51
00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:45,312
Mija, why are you in your uniform
before you shower and get ready?
52
00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:48,436
I am ready, Abuelita.
53
00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:51,857
That's what I was afraid of.
54
00:03:52,690 --> 00:03:55,440
Okay, everybody.
Let's go. I can't be late.
55
00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:57,607
We're having
one of our staff meetings at work.
56
00:03:57,695 --> 00:03:59,105
Aren't there only four of you?
57
00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:00,617
And yet, we take attendance.
58
00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:03,830
But I've actually got some good stuff
to talk about today,
59
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:05,161
so hopefully I can get through it
60
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:07,535
without being interrupted
by Scott, the freakin' bobo.
61
00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:11,668
You know, I know bobo is an insult,
but it sounds adorable.
62
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:14,922
-Like he's a little clown.
-Oh, yes, he is a clown.
63
00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:17,255
And like every other clown,
I want to punch him in the face.
64
00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:19,586
But I'm a professional.
65
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:23,466
So when he starts pulling his crap,
I am gonna smile, I'm gonna nod...
66
00:04:24,181 --> 00:04:26,431
but inside, I'm gonna be like...
67
00:04:27,225 --> 00:04:29,135
[laughs] Don't worry, I got this.
68
00:04:29,227 --> 00:04:31,437
I spent all week
preparing this badass spreadsheet
69
00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:34,271
and I'm gonna make it rain
informative data.
70
00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:37,488
Ooh, I have a lot going on today, too.
71
00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:41,109
They're implementing
my composting initiative in the cafeteria.
72
00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:45,371
I wish I could make you
this excited about a comb.
73
00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:50,368
Our school's waste stream
will really shrink
74
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,377
if we let the food decompose naturally.
75
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:57,379
And once I'm able to introduce worms...
triple the excretions.
76
00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:01,302
You have weird goals.
77
00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:04,392
Hey! No, she doesn't.
78
00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:06,352
[whispers] Yes, she does, right?
79
00:05:09,101 --> 00:05:10,641
Okay!
80
00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:14,017
Staff meeting, everybody. Staff meeting.
81
00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:15,982
[grunts]
82
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:18,240
First things first.
83
00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:20,698
-Lori.
-Here.
84
00:05:21,196 --> 00:05:22,816
Okay.
85
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:23,986
Penelope.
86
00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:25,584
Here. We're all here.
There's four of us.
87
00:05:26,784 --> 00:05:27,954
Halfway there.
88
00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:29,909
-Scott.
-[clicks tongue]
89
00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:30,997
[sniffles]
90
00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:32,881
Dr. Berkowitz.
91
00:05:33,876 --> 00:05:36,996
-Okay, any new business?
-Yes!
92
00:05:37,087 --> 00:05:40,087
Turns out, I've been wearing
the wrong bra size.
93
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,803
My whole life!
94
00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:47,721
Great. That's... that's... that's great.
95
00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:51,101
Anything about the office?
96
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,484
Yes, yes.
97
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:55,190
Here's some information
I think you'll all find interesting,
98
00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:57,362
dare I say, badass. [chuckles]
99
00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:00,610
Lately, we've been getting some complaints
from patients about wait times.
100
00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:01,653
Oh, that's not good.
101
00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:03,986
Well, if we stagger our appointments
by just five minutes,
102
00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:05,372
we could decrease wait time,
103
00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:07,948
while still maintaining
an excellent level of patient-doctor--
104
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:10,495
Actually, it sounds like the patients
won't get the same amount of time
105
00:06:10,578 --> 00:06:12,038
with Dr. B that they've come to expect.
106
00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:14,831
[chuckles]
107
00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:21,207
Well, they'd have
more time with him, if, if--
108
00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:23,468
Actually, in today's medical industry,
109
00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:25,510
it's important
we don't sacrifice human interaction
110
00:06:25,593 --> 00:06:27,143
just for the sake of expediency.
111
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:28,811
Actually...
112
00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:33,846
Scott, I've been involved in today's
medical industry even longer than you--
113
00:06:33,936 --> 00:06:35,596
And it's easy to get burned out?
I get it.
114
00:06:35,687 --> 00:06:36,727
[Dr. Berkowitz grunts]
115
00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:40,823
Boy, such great contributions today.
116
00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:42,990
[chuckling] Aw, thank you.
117
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:45,494
All I'm saying is, there's a reason
118
00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:47,782
this guy's been running the office
this way for so long.
119
00:06:47,865 --> 00:06:49,655
Right, Berkules?
120
00:06:49,742 --> 00:06:51,952
[both laugh]
121
00:06:52,037 --> 00:06:54,207
I like that, yeah.
122
00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:59,787
And I must say, I'm very attracted
to the concept of nothing changing.
123
00:06:59,877 --> 00:07:02,627
-Okay, but there is a--
-Great! Status quo it is.
124
00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:06,304
All right, meeting adjourned.
Thank you, everybody.
125
00:07:06,634 --> 00:07:08,474
If it ain't broke, don't fix it,
right, Doc?
126
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,352
Oh.
127
00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:18,105
-Oh, my God, is that how Cubans clap?
-You don't wanna find out.
128
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:23,989
[knocking on door]
129
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:33,081
I have a salsa emergency.
130
00:07:34,663 --> 00:07:37,793
The condiment or the dance?
I am equipped for both.
131
00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:43,088
There's this girl... Lola.
132
00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:45,091
Ooh, is she cubana?
133
00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:47,013
Close, she's from Sacramento.
134
00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:50,717
We're going out dancing tonight,
135
00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:54,603
and I may have led her to believe
that I know how to salsa dance.
136
00:07:54,682 --> 00:07:56,392
-Uh-huh.
-Do you think you could show me
137
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,806
-a couple moves you--
-[salsa music starts]
138
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:00,015
Wow, you're amazing!
139
00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:01,265
I know.
140
00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:06,237
Now, salsa is just,
"You want me.
141
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:07,779
You can't have me.
142
00:08:08,363 --> 00:08:10,033
You want me!
143
00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:11,985
No, you can't have me!"
144
00:08:13,201 --> 00:08:16,331
Now... take me in your arms
like a man.
145
00:08:16,913 --> 00:08:20,213
Huh. See, I consider myself a feminist,
so I don't know--
146
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:26,923
Oh, that kinda man.
Got it. [chuckles]
147
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:29,587
One, two, three.
One, two, three.
148
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:32,216
Move those hips.
Feel the music!
149
00:08:32,304 --> 00:08:33,724
Show me something.
150
00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:35,595
[laughing]
151
00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:38,140
So...
152
00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:41,518
you are in love with this girl?
153
00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:44,074
[tutting]
154
00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:45,689
Ho, ho, yikes!
155
00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:48,145
Slow down.
I'm not in love with her.
156
00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:49,856
Love isn't even real.
157
00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:53,026
It's just something
your nanny says sometimes to your dad.
158
00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:58,616
The first moment I saw my Berto,
159
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:02,995
a lightning bolt went through me
and I saw my future.
160
00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:08,842
The next 40 years went by
as quickly as that first night.
161
00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:12,261
-Wow, that is so inspiring.
-Mmm.
162
00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:14,144
We hooked up at a barbecue.
163
00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:17,473
Okay! It's time to dance.
164
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,227
[scatting]
165
00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:24,654
Churning the bottle,
churning the bottle.
166
00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:26,111
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
167
00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:28,611
¡Sí! Take my leg, bruto. [gasps]
168
00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:31,910
Ugh, I get it, we're Cuban!
169
00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:33,318
Azúcar!
170
00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:38,156
Can you believe this living stereotype?
171
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:40,205
I know. It's... Uh-oh.
Oh, my God, what's happening?
172
00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:41,458
Oh, it's happening.
173
00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:43,999
Oh, oh, oh, oh,
174
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:47,134
I think it's my hot Cuban blood!
175
00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:50,552
Oh, I must dance!
176
00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:52,132
Whoo!
177
00:09:52,217 --> 00:09:54,297
-Come on! [laughs]
-Hey!
178
00:09:55,512 --> 00:09:57,892
-Come on, now! Whoo!
-[Alex chuckles] What?
179
00:09:57,972 --> 00:09:59,722
Okay, I'm dizzy. [laughs]
180
00:09:59,807 --> 00:10:01,677
[all laughing]
181
00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,688
Okay, there goes my shoulder.
182
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:06,900
[sniffles] Whatever, I needed that.
I had a crazy annoying day.
183
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:08,981
It couldn't have been as bad as mine.
184
00:10:09,066 --> 00:10:12,446
At lunch, no one scraped their food
into the new composting bins.
185
00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:14,819
Even when I stood
in front of the trash cans.
186
00:10:14,906 --> 00:10:17,026
Zach Miller hit her with a hamburger.
187
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,117
-[gasps]
-What?
188
00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:19,241
No!
189
00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:21,827
He threw it in the wrong bin
and I deflected it...
190
00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:23,915
with my face.
191
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:27,170
No one was listening to me!
192
00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:29,422
So she started screaming
and calling everyone,
193
00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:31,714
[imitating Elena] "Earth murderers."
194
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:34,678
[chuckles] Look, Elena, I get it,
'cause it's in me, too.
195
00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:38,639
In five seconds, I go from nodding
thoughtfully to lighting a car on fire.
196
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,600
You lit a car on fire?
197
00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:47,480
That happened only once, okay?
And it was kind of an accident.
198
00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:50,936
But that's why you and me,
we gotta watch it.
199
00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:53,355
You know, like today,
I barely got a word in
200
00:10:53,444 --> 00:10:57,034
before el bobo started interrupting me,
talking over me.
201
00:10:57,114 --> 00:10:58,624
I couldn't even get my point across.
202
00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:00,660
Well, that's just sexist.
203
00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:01,663
No.
204
00:11:01,994 --> 00:11:05,924
He's not smacking me on the ass
and going, "Oye, mamita!"
205
00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:10,629
Oh, that makes me miss your abuelo.
206
00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:16,219
You wanna see real sexism?
207
00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:18,854
Be a woman in the Army, okay?
208
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:21,468
You got a 22-year-old white boy
from South Carolina
209
00:11:21,556 --> 00:11:25,886
marching behind you going,
"Is it hot out here or is it you?"
210
00:11:25,977 --> 00:11:28,057
Of course, it was hot out there.
It was a freaking desert.
211
00:11:30,232 --> 00:11:31,822
But you wanna know
how I dealt with that bobo?
212
00:11:31,899 --> 00:11:33,399
By being a better soldier than him.
213
00:11:33,485 --> 00:11:36,195
And eventually, that's how they saw me,
not as a woman at all.
214
00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:39,824
I would prefer to die.
215
00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:45,371
Yo no entiendo cómo these men and women
all want to be the same.
216
00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:48,075
We should celebrate our differences.
217
00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:50,536
I would never trade these for that.
218
00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:53,552
Mami.
219
00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:55,050
No, no, I agree with her.
220
00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:57,721
Everybody wants to see those.
Nobody wants to see this.
221
00:11:59,594 --> 00:12:01,304
Okay, everybody stop gesturing.
222
00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:06,179
Mom, I'm not talking
about old people sexism.
223
00:12:06,268 --> 00:12:08,348
-[chuckles] Okay.
-It's much more subtle now.
224
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:11,766
Men assert their power
through microaggressions and mansplaining.
225
00:12:11,856 --> 00:12:16,606
Oh, mansplaining. Is that like manscaping?
226
00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:18,994
I just learned that and I love it.
227
00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:23,294
No, mansplaining is when a--
228
00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:26,038
It's when a man
explains something to a woman...
229
00:12:28,122 --> 00:12:31,172
that she already knows,
but he acts like he's teaching her.
230
00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:33,291
Does that make sense?
231
00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:40,680
What? I was just explaining
what mansplaining--
232
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,260
Oh, wow!
233
00:12:43,262 --> 00:12:44,722
[mimics explosion]
234
00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:49,016
Elena, microaggressions
and all this little crap...
235
00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:52,189
If I got bent out of shape
every time a man said something stupid,
236
00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:53,651
you wouldn't be here.
237
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:56,940
Mom!
238
00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,570
This is a real problem.
239
00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:01,244
The sexism I'm talking about
240
00:13:01,323 --> 00:13:03,623
is all the little disrespectful things
that men do that--
241
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:04,700
That they don't even realize.
242
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,997
Sorry, I cut you off.
Talk as long as you want.
243
00:13:10,081 --> 00:13:12,421
Not that you need my permission.
I'm just...
244
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:13,920
You know what?
I'd like to hear from the ladies.
245
00:13:14,001 --> 00:13:16,301
Women. Females.
You guys... Not guys, humans.
246
00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:21,876
Wow, you broke Schneider.
247
00:13:24,012 --> 00:13:25,012
Mom...
248
00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:29,023
this stuff might not seem like a big deal,
but it chips away at you.
249
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:30,596
You gotta call Scott out.
250
00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:32,095
Why would I waste my time?
251
00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:33,654
That is right.
252
00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:37,320
You will never win men over
by confronting them.
253
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:40,780
You flirt with them. You hypnotize them.
254
00:13:41,779 --> 00:13:43,949
And then you do
whatever the hell you want.
255
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:51,157
And then...
they will think they are the boss,
256
00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:53,747
but really, you are the boss.
257
00:13:55,209 --> 00:13:57,499
Why can't they just know you're the boss?
258
00:13:57,587 --> 00:14:00,377
Oh, no, they would be so upset.
259
00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:02,165
[mouthing]
260
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:03,888
[scoffs]
261
00:14:03,968 --> 00:14:05,638
That is horrifying.
262
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:06,850
Oh, sí?
263
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:09,679
Well, nobody ever threw
a hamburger in my face.
264
00:14:12,309 --> 00:14:16,439
Man, I'm glad I'm a guy,
so I don't have to think about sexism.
265
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:55,226
Mi amor, wake up.
266
00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:56,601
-[screams]
-[screams]
267
00:14:56,688 --> 00:14:57,688
Oh!
268
00:14:57,772 --> 00:14:59,902
-What are you doing?
-[sighs]
269
00:15:00,692 --> 00:15:02,442
I was thinking
270
00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:07,277
that if you would wear a little makeup,
you would look presentable...
271
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:12,197
and maybe the people in school
would listen to your garbage ideas.
272
00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:16,212
How would that help?
273
00:15:17,166 --> 00:15:20,036
Lawyers would love to wear sweatpants,
274
00:15:20,128 --> 00:15:23,878
but they wear suits
so the judge will take them seriously.
275
00:15:25,216 --> 00:15:26,876
-Go on.
-Really?
276
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,098
So...
277
00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:33,977
makeup makes you beautiful.
278
00:15:34,308 --> 00:15:37,438
Beauty gives you power,
279
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:40,270
and that is why
I never let anyone see me without it.
280
00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:45,185
I just realized, my whole life
I've never seen you without makeup.
281
00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:47,607
Yes, you have.
My baby pictures.
282
00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:51,905
[scoffs] Even in those
you had your ears pierced.
283
00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:54,913
Oh, without earrings I look ridiculous.
284
00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:58,665
But mija, por favor...
285
00:15:58,749 --> 00:16:01,209
won't you just try it my way, huh?
286
00:16:02,587 --> 00:16:04,547
I like what you said about power,
287
00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:08,131
so, all right, I'll give it a try.
288
00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:10,177
Ah! Gracias!
289
00:16:10,261 --> 00:16:11,261
[laughs]
290
00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:13,678
Wonderful news.
291
00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:16,175
Elena can be
in the Christmas card this year.
292
00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:18,517
Oh, you look very nice.
293
00:16:18,603 --> 00:16:20,613
-Thank you. [chuckles]
-[exhales]
294
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:23,268
-I meant her.
-What? She didn't do anything.
295
00:16:27,612 --> 00:16:28,912
What?
296
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,068
Nothing.
297
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:33,486
Just, if you get hit with a hamburger
today, it's gonna stick.
298
00:16:34,451 --> 00:16:38,041
Oh, come on, Elena, it looks nice.
You just look different.
299
00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:39,372
What is this?
300
00:16:39,456 --> 00:16:40,916
Wear-your-grandma-to-work day?
301
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,170
[laughing]
302
00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:44,422
I'm kidding!
303
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:47,304
You look great.
And whatever this is, good luck with it.
304
00:16:47,799 --> 00:16:50,089
Well, what are you gonna do
about Scott, the bobo?
305
00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:51,836
Nothing, because he doesn't matter.
306
00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:55,218
I'm going straight to Dr. Berkowitz.
Then I'll accomplish my goal,
307
00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:57,426
and Scott's burgundy-red Buick Regal,
308
00:16:57,517 --> 00:17:00,897
license plate 374 PCE
will remain unharmed.
309
00:17:00,978 --> 00:17:03,058
-Just a little more rouge.
-Ay, Mami, no.
310
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,193
Damn it, you're right.
311
00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:14,655
Oh, gracias.
312
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,830
Yeah, thank you so much.
Have a nice day.
313
00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:22,955
Hey, I wanted to talk to you
about my waiting room ideas
314
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:25,422
-from the meeting yesterday.
-Hey, we have a waiting room
315
00:17:25,502 --> 00:17:27,502
full of patients out there
who are very unhappy.
316
00:17:27,589 --> 00:17:30,929
Sounds like there's a problem
that a badass spreadsheet could've fixed.
317
00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:33,638
When my dogs are upset,
I rub their bellies.
318
00:17:34,511 --> 00:17:35,761
Should I...
319
00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:39,770
There's gotta be something
we could do.
320
00:17:40,685 --> 00:17:44,805
Blue Sky, what if we stagger
the appointments by just five minutes?
321
00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:47,188
People would wait less,
322
00:17:47,274 --> 00:17:49,444
and be so much happier
when they see your handsome mug.
323
00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:51,567
Smart way to go!
324
00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:53,454
-Boom.
-Boom!
325
00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:57,453
Okay. [chuckles]
326
00:17:57,534 --> 00:18:00,004
I am not trying to
turn this into an argument,
327
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:02,999
but I said the same thing yesterday
and nobody listened.
328
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:05,083
I don't think
that's exactly what you said.
329
00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:06,627
No, that's exactly what I said, Scott.
330
00:18:07,962 --> 00:18:10,512
But maybe you didn't hear,
because you were on your phone like now.
331
00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:12,215
Uh, what?
332
00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:15,393
Yo voy a matar este hombre.
333
00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:17,639
Huh? What does that mean?
334
00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:19,022
I'm just thinking about lunch.
I'm hungry.
335
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,058
Oh.
336
00:18:21,308 --> 00:18:24,978
When it comes to ideas,
no one's keeping score,
337
00:18:25,062 --> 00:18:27,152
but today, Scott wins!
338
00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:28,231
-[imitates gunshot]
-[laughs]
339
00:18:28,315 --> 00:18:29,315
Oh, all right,
340
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:32,150
I need to say something. I do.
Okay, uh, Scott...
341
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:40,405
Sometimes I've noticed,
when I'm talking, you don't listen.
342
00:18:40,661 --> 00:18:44,621
I've let it go, but now
I'm saying something professional...
343
00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:47,787
in a professional manner...
professionally.
344
00:18:49,754 --> 00:18:51,384
I think what Penelope's trying to say--
345
00:18:51,463 --> 00:18:53,053
Oh, my God!
346
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:55,932
Stop saying
what I am trying to say,
347
00:18:56,010 --> 00:19:00,350
you mansplaining,
microaggressive, bobocabrón!
348
00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:06,019
You're sexist,
and I'm tired of letting it go!
349
00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:07,653
Does that make sense?
350
00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:13,739
Okay, lot of big feelings...
351
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:18,280
and a fertile area for what is now
our biannual staff meeting.
352
00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:20,365
Hold up, Doc.
353
00:19:20,451 --> 00:19:23,001
You think I'm sexist?
That's crazy.
354
00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:24,289
I love women.
355
00:19:25,206 --> 00:19:27,786
It's got nothing to do with love.
It's the way you act.
356
00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:29,375
You dismiss everything I say!
357
00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:31,130
-Oh. [scoffs]
-[scoffs]
358
00:19:32,546 --> 00:19:34,546
Yeah, you better be waving
at someone you know.
359
00:19:34,632 --> 00:19:38,722
Guys, guys! Let's keep our anger
where it belongs, with the patients!
360
00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:43,143
I don't know
what you're complaining about.
361
00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:45,354
If anything,
I'm the victim of reverse sexism.
362
00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:46,694
What?
363
00:19:46,769 --> 00:19:48,519
I'm in a traditionally
female-dominated profession,
364
00:19:48,604 --> 00:19:52,984
and if I had to diagnose what's happening,
you're jealous because I'm killing it.
365
00:19:53,067 --> 00:19:55,737
Oh, my God! That's insane!
366
00:19:55,820 --> 00:19:57,110
Okay, don't get hysterical.
367
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:59,566
Okay, you see that!
That right there, that is sexist!
368
00:19:59,656 --> 00:20:01,696
You would never say that
to Dr. Berkowitz.
369
00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:03,334
That's 'cause Dr. B's cool as a cuke.
370
00:20:03,410 --> 00:20:05,120
I'm about to cry.
371
00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:07,372
[sighs]
372
00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:09,416
I do everything around here, okay?
373
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:12,750
I order office supplies,
I call insurance companies,
374
00:20:12,837 --> 00:20:15,207
I even make the stupid coffee
because yours sucks
375
00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:16,797
and Lori always burns herself.
376
00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:18,223
It never looks hot.
377
00:20:19,676 --> 00:20:22,756
How about all the times you take off early
for your kids' appointments
378
00:20:22,847 --> 00:20:26,307
and I'm left to pick up the slack,
because [scoffs] moms are special?
379
00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:29,599
What did you say?
380
00:20:30,437 --> 00:20:32,687
Uh-oh! I dropped my pen.
381
00:20:35,192 --> 00:20:37,492
Scott, could you go get that for me?
382
00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:39,449
Moms are special!
383
00:20:39,530 --> 00:20:41,820
Because we have to work twice as hard.
384
00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:42,908
We really do!
385
00:20:42,992 --> 00:20:44,492
Dogs are not children, Lori!
386
00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:51,709
Look, sometimes I do have to take time off
because braces need tightening
387
00:20:51,793 --> 00:20:54,673
or because my kid's head
is a, quote, "lice carnival."
388
00:20:55,963 --> 00:20:58,383
But I always make it up,
and it is just as valid
389
00:20:58,466 --> 00:21:00,006
as you leaving early for Shark Week.
390
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:01,932
All I'm saying is we're equal.
391
00:21:02,553 --> 00:21:05,723
We all work hard.
We all make the same $30 an hour.
392
00:21:11,312 --> 00:21:12,602
Thirty dollars an hour?
393
00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:14,862
He makes more than me?
394
00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:18,942
You know what? I think I'll get my pen.
395
00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:22,738
No, I'll get it on my way out,
'cause I am leaving.
396
00:21:22,824 --> 00:21:23,874
Penelope--
397
00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:25,790
No. Since I'm obviously
not appreciated around here,
398
00:21:25,868 --> 00:21:29,038
I am going to cut my salary by 100%.
399
00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:30,251
I think she's trying to say
she's quitting.
400
00:21:30,331 --> 00:21:31,331
Shut up, Scott!
401
00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:33,584
But, yes, I quit.
402
00:21:34,085 --> 00:21:35,085
[door closes]
403
00:21:35,837 --> 00:21:38,047
I'm sorry, Lori.
Your dogs are lovely.
404
00:21:42,093 --> 00:21:43,973
Thanks for the azúcar.
405
00:21:44,053 --> 00:21:45,183
[laughs]
406
00:21:45,262 --> 00:21:48,062
Your accent is still... no good.
407
00:21:49,683 --> 00:21:51,603
But my salsa moves are,
thanks to you.
408
00:21:51,685 --> 00:21:54,145
My date's such a huge success,
it's still happening.
409
00:21:54,230 --> 00:21:55,650
Oh, I can't wait to meet her.
410
00:21:55,731 --> 00:21:56,941
Eh, you probably won't.
411
00:21:59,693 --> 00:22:00,693
-[Elena] Hey.
-[Alex] Hey.
412
00:22:00,777 --> 00:22:02,527
[Lydia gasps] Oh...
413
00:22:03,113 --> 00:22:04,953
what happened to your face?
414
00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:10,745
Um, I took the makeup off
after first period,
415
00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:12,540
because people were staring at me
416
00:22:12,623 --> 00:22:16,463
and all these boys were talking to me,
which is the last thing I want.
417
00:22:16,961 --> 00:22:21,631
I don't understand
any words you are saying to me.
418
00:22:23,092 --> 00:22:24,092
[Alex] It was terrible.
419
00:22:24,176 --> 00:22:27,796
My friends were calling her names
like cute and pretty.
420
00:22:27,889 --> 00:22:29,599
I'm the pretty one in this family.
421
00:22:31,767 --> 00:22:33,597
Yes, you are, papito.
422
00:22:34,896 --> 00:22:38,726
Elena, I thought
you were finally listening to me.
423
00:22:38,815 --> 00:22:40,725
I did listen to you, Abuelita.
424
00:22:40,817 --> 00:22:43,737
And I listened to Mom, too.
I was very professional.
425
00:22:43,820 --> 00:22:46,370
I smiled and nodded
and was nice to everyone.
426
00:22:47,366 --> 00:22:49,116
It looked really unnatural.
427
00:22:51,036 --> 00:22:54,416
I mean, some people still called me
Garbage Girl, but I just went...
428
00:22:54,916 --> 00:22:56,626
When inside, I was thinking...
429
00:22:59,045 --> 00:23:01,005
-So, thank you. [chuckles]
-Oh!
430
00:23:01,088 --> 00:23:03,088
[laughs] You're welcome, mija.
431
00:23:03,174 --> 00:23:04,974
So, tomorrow,
we try the makeup again?
432
00:23:05,551 --> 00:23:08,391
No, Abuelita,
I tried it and I didn't like it.
433
00:23:08,470 --> 00:23:10,010
Oh, honey.
434
00:23:10,097 --> 00:23:13,927
This morning I saw what you could be.
435
00:23:14,810 --> 00:23:17,690
The granddaughter I have always wanted.
436
00:23:22,651 --> 00:23:25,571
I wish you would've said that in Spanish,
so I didn't understand it.
437
00:23:26,071 --> 00:23:29,201
Oh, niña, no!
No, I didn't mean it like that. No, no.
438
00:23:29,283 --> 00:23:33,543
You know, you use makeup like armor
because it makes you comfortable.
439
00:23:34,038 --> 00:23:36,168
Well, this is how I feel comfortable.
440
00:23:37,124 --> 00:23:39,174
I like the way I am, even if you don't.
441
00:23:39,251 --> 00:23:40,381
Elena...
442
00:23:41,545 --> 00:23:42,585
[exhales]
443
00:23:42,671 --> 00:23:45,421
[panting] Mami, I did something terrible.
444
00:23:45,507 --> 00:23:47,257
It's okay, I have a shovel.
445
00:23:48,219 --> 00:23:50,679
Wait, what?
Wait, what do you think I did?
446
00:23:50,762 --> 00:23:53,102
It doesn't matter, amor.
No one will ever know.
447
00:23:53,182 --> 00:23:55,892
Mami... I quit my job.
448
00:23:55,977 --> 00:23:58,147
I don't understand.
[stutters] The job ended?
449
00:23:58,229 --> 00:23:59,229
No, it didn't end.
450
00:23:59,313 --> 00:24:00,693
-Did your boss die?
-No.
451
00:24:00,772 --> 00:24:03,232
Was there a fire?
Scandal?
452
00:24:03,317 --> 00:24:04,527
Was he a sex offender
453
00:24:04,610 --> 00:24:06,650
and they closed down the business
because of the shame?
454
00:24:06,737 --> 00:24:07,697
No!
455
00:24:08,197 --> 00:24:10,907
I have just said all the reasons!
456
00:24:12,368 --> 00:24:14,948
I quit my job because I found out
457
00:24:15,037 --> 00:24:17,407
that comemierda Scott
makes more than I do,
458
00:24:17,498 --> 00:24:19,328
and he's only been there one month.
459
00:24:20,084 --> 00:24:23,754
Oh, so you quit because of principles.
460
00:24:24,630 --> 00:24:26,800
-Are you crazy?
-[gasps]
461
00:24:27,924 --> 00:24:31,354
I know, I know.
I did exactly what I told Elena not to do.
462
00:24:31,428 --> 00:24:33,928
I yelled, I screamed, and it felt great.
463
00:24:34,015 --> 00:24:35,805
But, now, we're all gonna
have to live in the car.
464
00:24:35,891 --> 00:24:37,351
[panting]
465
00:24:37,434 --> 00:24:38,854
[knocking on door]
466
00:24:38,935 --> 00:24:40,265
[Lydia] It's open!
467
00:24:41,563 --> 00:24:42,563
Penelope?
468
00:24:43,607 --> 00:24:46,067
Oh, hello, Lydia.
469
00:24:46,152 --> 00:24:47,612
You look lovely, as always.
470
00:24:47,694 --> 00:24:48,824
I know.
471
00:24:51,657 --> 00:24:53,157
I will let you two talk.
472
00:24:55,661 --> 00:24:57,871
[sighs] What's up?
473
00:24:57,954 --> 00:25:00,464
Penelope, please, come back to work.
I'm beggin' you.
474
00:25:00,541 --> 00:25:03,211
[stutters]
I can't run the office without you.
475
00:25:03,294 --> 00:25:05,134
[scoffs]
You're just saying that to be nice.
476
00:25:05,212 --> 00:25:07,462
No, I'm not! I need you.
477
00:25:10,634 --> 00:25:12,304
Five bucks more an hour.
478
00:25:13,262 --> 00:25:14,352
That guy.
479
00:25:14,430 --> 00:25:15,930
Well, he's a good nurse...
480
00:25:17,349 --> 00:25:19,179
but it wasn't right. Wasn't right.
481
00:25:20,144 --> 00:25:22,564
[stutters] But in my defense...
482
00:25:22,938 --> 00:25:25,148
he did ask for more than you did,
483
00:25:25,232 --> 00:25:28,032
and I have a lot of trouble saying no.
484
00:25:28,985 --> 00:25:31,065
That's why Lori works with us.
485
00:25:35,201 --> 00:25:36,451
That mystery's solved.
486
00:25:39,371 --> 00:25:42,121
To be honest, I don't know
if it's a woman thing or what.
487
00:25:42,208 --> 00:25:44,288
I didn't even think about negotiating.
488
00:25:44,376 --> 00:25:46,496
I was newly separated.
I really needed a job.
489
00:25:46,587 --> 00:25:48,457
You said, "Do you want one?"
I said, "Yes."
490
00:25:48,547 --> 00:25:52,257
And you see, he made me feel
that somehow I was lucky to have him.
491
00:25:52,342 --> 00:25:54,262
I even gave him my parking spot.
492
00:25:56,722 --> 00:25:58,432
Oh, so the red Buick is yours?
493
00:25:59,850 --> 00:26:00,680
Good to know.
494
00:26:04,062 --> 00:26:06,732
[stutters] But I'm sorry,
and it was nothing personal.
495
00:26:06,815 --> 00:26:07,815
And...
496
00:26:08,942 --> 00:26:10,282
you deserve more.
497
00:26:12,488 --> 00:26:14,068
How about this? How about this?
498
00:26:15,365 --> 00:26:19,195
What if I give you a raise,
and you make the same amount as Scott?
499
00:26:21,079 --> 00:26:23,169
-Plus a dollar more an hour.
-Done.
500
00:26:24,500 --> 00:26:26,880
Two dollars more an hour
and Scott starts pulling his weight?
501
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:28,340
-Done.
-Which he's never gonna do,
502
00:26:28,420 --> 00:26:30,130
so let's make it three dollars an hour.
503
00:26:30,214 --> 00:26:31,764
-Done! Please?
-Okay.
504
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:33,300
-Okay. [laughs]
-[laughs]
505
00:26:33,383 --> 00:26:34,553
-That was fun. [chuckles]
-[sighs]
506
00:26:35,677 --> 00:26:37,847
And I have to admit,
Scott is not a terrible nurse.
507
00:26:37,929 --> 00:26:40,019
He's good with the patients,
you know?
508
00:26:40,599 --> 00:26:43,019
He's got a charm
that I do not understand. [sighs]
509
00:26:43,101 --> 00:26:46,651
Well, he's got that jock thing going on.
510
00:26:46,730 --> 00:26:48,690
I think that's what seduced me.
511
00:26:51,360 --> 00:26:54,910
You know, all the nicknames
and the fist bumps...
512
00:26:54,988 --> 00:26:57,408
I guess I got caught up in the bromance.
513
00:26:58,534 --> 00:26:59,374
I get it.
514
00:27:00,202 --> 00:27:03,002
No, I don't get it at all.
[chuckles] But I get it.
515
00:27:03,997 --> 00:27:05,247
So, are we good?
516
00:27:05,332 --> 00:27:06,502
Yes.
517
00:27:07,501 --> 00:27:09,631
-Boom?
-Yeah, I don't do that.
518
00:27:11,172 --> 00:27:12,302
I do this.
519
00:27:20,931 --> 00:27:22,891
Are you asleep, mi amor?
520
00:27:22,974 --> 00:27:26,484
[grunts softly] Abuelita, no.
We're not doing this again.
521
00:27:26,645 --> 00:27:27,595
No, no.
522
00:27:27,688 --> 00:27:29,568
I'm not here to make you up.
523
00:27:29,648 --> 00:27:31,358
I'm here to do this.
524
00:27:43,787 --> 00:27:44,907
This is me.
525
00:27:46,164 --> 00:27:47,334
No armor.
526
00:27:48,917 --> 00:27:51,167
[chuckles softly]
I think you look beautiful.
527
00:27:51,753 --> 00:27:52,883
Aw.
528
00:27:53,839 --> 00:27:55,169
I hate it.
529
00:27:57,008 --> 00:27:59,888
This is how you feel
when you're wearing makeup?
530
00:27:59,970 --> 00:28:02,010
Yeah, it is.
531
00:28:02,097 --> 00:28:03,887
Then I understand,
532
00:28:03,974 --> 00:28:06,604
and I will never bother you
about that again.
533
00:28:06,685 --> 00:28:08,435
Except for your quinces.
534
00:28:09,229 --> 00:28:10,479
And I'm okay with that.
535
00:28:11,690 --> 00:28:17,740
You know, this is the only time
anyone has ever seen me without makeup.
536
00:28:18,864 --> 00:28:19,874
I'm honored.
537
00:28:20,699 --> 00:28:23,489
Well, one time your abuelo
came home early and saw me,
538
00:28:23,577 --> 00:28:26,867
but as soon as I realized,
I went out the window.
539
00:28:26,955 --> 00:28:28,955
[both chuckle]
540
00:28:29,041 --> 00:28:32,341
I assume he thought I was an intruder.
We never spoke of it.
541
00:28:34,630 --> 00:28:36,630
-Are you wearing a little mascara?
-No!
40545
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