All language subtitles for The.Simpsons.S35E13.1080p.HEVC.X265-MeGusta_eng

The age of dinosaurs was over.

-Aw!
-Fiddlesticks!

20,000 years ago,
Ice Age humans lived

under constant threat
from deadly predators.

Freezing temperatures.

And smells.

Primordial!

For our ancestors, survival
required constant vigilance.

Even the slightest distraction
could prove deadly.

What do you mean I have
to take the toys off our lawn?

I didn't even know we had
a homeowner's association.

In our modern world,
true danger is rare.

Yet, our Ice Age instincts
remain... ever on high alert.

Fine. I'll pick up the toys

when you take
your Christmas decorations down,

i.e. never!

Marge, the children are trying

to learn facts
about the Ice Age.

Sorry. Sorry.

As if the distant past
has anything to do with us.

There is literally nothing
to eat here.

You know, there are
some children in this world

-who don't have enough--
-Bored!

Bart, incredible news!

You know how my dad got a job
at the sports arena?

They were changing the floor,

and he got trapped
between the hockey ice

and the basketball court
for two days.

Okay, that's
a double dribble. I felt it!

When he agreed not to sue,
they gave him four tickets

to see Violencia Gigante

-in concert!
-Oh, my God!

Do you think they'll do one
of their songs about drugs?

Hey, as long as they do the one

about drowning guys
in prison toilets.

"Baño Muerte"!

So can I go to the concert?

I don't know.
You're awfully young.

What if you get jostled?

Yes, I'm young,
but I'm responsible.

Really?

Bart, save yourself.

Okay.

You got to let me go
to the show!

They rap in Spanish.
It's educational!

Say, Mom, to inform
your parenting choices,

why don't you listen
to one of their songs?

Great idea, sis.

Well, it can't be
that offensive.

He barely says anything.

Ha! He's playing
the clean version.

Here's the original.

And the translation
of the lyrics.

She doesn't need
to hear and see that!

Oh, my. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God! ¡Dios mío!

There's no way
you're going to that concert.

I forbid it!

Why did you sell me out?

Great question.
Why'd I do it,

Mutilated Malibu Stacey
with melted-on dog toy for head?

Van Houten residence.

Breadwinner speaking.

Luann. Just the young woman
I wanted to talk to.

I was really hoping
you could convince my mom

that it's okay for me to go
to this concert with Milhouse.

Oh, I'm sorry, Bart.

There must have been
a misunderstanding.

You're not invited.

But Milhouse said I was.

That was before
you coerced my son

into misbehaving
on his field trip.

But you don't understand.
I really want to go.

My parenting group workshopped
the most compassionate way

for me to phrase this.

Bart, you're a bad friend,
and you're beyond hope.

Be well.

Luann said what to you?!

That I'm a bad friend,
and I'm beyond hope.

How dare she!
After all the times

we've let her--
I'm just gonna say it--

dweeb of a son dweeb it up
in our house.

Always making me
watch him moonwalk,

and if I don't clap,
he hides in the bathroom.

No one uninvites my son

to the concert
he's not allowed to go to.

Get up! You and I are going
to go have a little chat

with the Van Houtens.

Ask your father
to come watch the kids.

Took you long enough.
What did you do, crawl here?

I had to walk... in the rain.
Ooh!

Yeah, yeah, you're a real hero.

Did you think for one second how
your words would make Bart feel?

Everything I said was true,
Marge.

Hoo, boy.

-Was it?
-Oh, here we go.

You know how Bart is.

No. I don't.

Why don't you tell me
how my son is?

Oh, man.

It is so on.

Bart and Milhouse have had
their issues in the past,

but we all thought
Bart would get better.

He's getting worse, Marge.
It's just a fact.

Did you hear that, Homer?

Our son is getting worse.

That's so good to know.

Um, if I could just turn
the heat down a little bit here.

I think what Luann is trying
to say, Marge,

is that nobody thinks
that you're a bad mother.

Bad... mother?!

Marge is the greatest mother
on Earth.

She mothers circles
around you freaky,

attachment parenting,
co-sleeping, co-bathing psychos!

Let's go.
It's clear these people have

an all-consuming vendetta
against our son.

I need you to buy Bart
four concert tickets.

On the floor, first ten rows.

I don't care how much they cost.

I... I thought
you didn't want Bart to go?

If that woman wants a fight,
she's going to get one.

Nothing. Still nothing.

Nope. Nada.

N-Nope.

Did you find amazing seats
for Bart?

Not yet.

And I'm checking Stub Dork,
Seat Dweeb,

Ticket Chump, Venue Idiot--

Don't give up, or our son dies!

Socially, amongst his peers.

Row 30. Not good enough.

Nothing. Still nothing.

Finger cramping.

Pain moderate, but...
worth mentioning.

You got the tickets!

It's a VIP package
with admission

to the Front Row Club.

Look. Here's a video of the
Beckham kids throwing up in it.

Ooh, Homer, you actually did it!

Bart is saved!

So I figure before the concert,
we'll pre-game at my pad.

Take some edibles--
Goldfish, pretzel nubs.

-All right!
-Fire!

So dope.

Looking forward
to the big show, guys?

Good for you.
Hey, if I can see your seats

from where I'm sitting--
the Front Row Club--

I'll shoot you a wave.

The Front Row Club?!

That's a perk usually reserved
for industry insiders.

I wanted to ask you three
to come with,

but I'm sure you'd say "no."

You're doing the right thing,

sticking
with your buddy Milhouse.

It's hard, but that's how
you build character.

No! You guys can't bail just
'cause he has way better seats.

Milhouse, don't feel bad
about the bailing.

Just feel happy
that for a few days,

I pretended to like you
for your tickets.

I'll take my "haw-haw" now.

Mom, are you okay?

I'm better than okay.

I spent money we don't have
to show who's the better mother.

Love it. Why don't you do
something for me?

Take a deep breath in.

Oh, boy.
Yeah, that's what I thought.

Mom, your primitive brain
is running the show right now.

One of your "cubs," if you will,
has been threatened,

but in a 21st-century
sort of way.

In response, your body
has entered a state of arousal

called "fight-or-flight."

I'm not in a state.
These are my calm veins.

Remember, you have access
to higher brain function.

So, breathe in
the expensive candle...

...exhale the tension.

There is no threat.

Your cubs are safe.

Smell the
"Fresh Morning Airport"?

Ew.

Mmm, there's no threat.
Bart is okay.

That's right.

No need to fight or flee.

No threat.

No threat at all.

We have a motion

from a concerned parent
to ban all books

about "fallen women"
from the library.

So, motion denied.

I'm pulling my boy
from this school.

It didn't have to go down
like this.

I move to dismiss Marge Simpson
from this board

for bullying my son.

Bullying?
You want to talk about bullying?

She went out of her way
to make my son feel excluded,

less than and othered.

That's the worst thing there be.

Look at what her son did

to the third-grade production
of West Side Story.

That's the kind of behavior
you learn in the home.

You're criticizing my home?

You ever been
to her dusty house?

You think nature
abhors a vacuum?

Look up the word "no," Marge.

Trust me,
it can do wonders with children.

Well, you could learn
how to say yes, to a lice comb.

She grocery-shops
at the Kwik-E-Mart.

Swedish Fish are not a protein.

At least Bart likes my lunches.

Milhouse is the most frequent
lunch trader in the cafeteria.

That is a lie.

I pack an extra lunch
for Milhouse

because I feel sorry for him.

Okay, a lot of big feelings.

I do love mess.

This isn't over.

Not by a long shot, sister.

Oh, my God,
look who Milhouse had to bring.

Kindergartners.

You said we were going
to see Cocomelon.

Evening, ma'am.
What brings you here?

Parking, I bet.

We're in the Front Row Club.

I believe parking is included?

Oh, we don't accept
paper tickets.

-You have to use the app.
-What app?

The app it says
you're required to use,

right here on this piece
of paper that is not a ticket.

Homer, the moustache man
who has every job

says we need the app you used
to buy the tickets.

Oh, I deleted that app
the second I printed them out.

Can I download the app?

Well, you'll need his password.

Oh, it's in my password wallet.

But I deleted that, too.

Why do you keep deleting apps?

I like the way
they jiggle in fear

right before you drop
the hammer.

Come on, Home-slice,
it's your pick.

Are you with Kirk?

Um, well, it's our
fantasy football draft.

After everything those people
have done to Bart?

Traitor!

You are dead to me.

Pull forward and turn
your car around, pally.

Aww, you can't get in?
Well, don't worry.

We'll post pics so Bart can see
all the fun he's missing.

-Have you lost your mind?
-I'm going to save you.

How is this saving me?

Follow me.

Tickets, please.

Some of these people
are carrying outside food.

Outside food! Outside food!

We're either leaving here
in $50 T-shirts or handcuffs.

Perhaps a third course of action
will present itself?

Look, guys, we made it.

The Front Row Club!

Maybe you should take us home.

I don't think anybody's that
psyched for the concert anymore.

Go home? And let Luann win?

Why don't you ask that lady
what she thinks?

Now you know
what we're all thinking.

Not me. I'm cool with you.

Oh, sweetie, I'm so, so sorry.

I've just been feeling
the whole range of emotions:

anger, rage, fury, even miffed.

But I swear,
it was all because I never want

anything bad
to ever happen to you.

I can handle bad.

I can't handle losing
the one good parent I've got.

Mm.

Why couldn't you just
let me invite Bart?

Oh, honey, but think
of how jealous and miserable

he must be right now.

-Isn't that satisfying?
-It mostly isn't.

I know Bart's a bad influence,

but he's the only kid
who wants to influence me.

He's all I got.

The Front Row Club
won't be much fun

without Bart's best friend.

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Shh!