Original subtitles

♪ The Wind in the Willows

♪ Sang softly to me

♪ Follow my voice

♪ Wherever it leads

♪ From mountains, through valleys

♪ To deep rolling seas

♪ Born on the wings of the breeze ♪

Winter had closed in.

Around the village was a chilly stillness.

Birds were silent, trees had lost the rustle of leaves

and the river had a cold, oily heaviness about it,

with none of the cheeky babble that lightened the heart.

But life there was, and light and noise and cheerfulness.

And most of it, on this day, in Toad Hall.

So it's your job, Billy, to see they are ready to go onstage.

- Yes, Mr Badger. - One eye on me,

one eye on the programme and one eye on the cast, eh?

- Yes, Mr Badger! - I say, Badger!

I say, Badger, old man! Can I talk about my make-up?

- Not now, Toad! - Oh, blow!

Don't forget now - a good, loud voice.

Yes, Mr Badger. Act One, beginners, please.

Er... yes. Well, not now.

Act One, beginners, please!

Look, I said...

Oh, and Mole, do we have to have all that banging?

Awfully sorry. If I don't bang, Toad won't have a gondola.

A gondola? Toad?

Oh!

Try to bang quietly, then. There's a good chap.

Two more wallops and I'll be on to sandpapering.

Right. Try... again.

Ready?

I say, I say, I say, my dog has no nose.

- Er... - Go on.

Oh, yes. Go on.

No! Not "Go on", you idiot! "How does he smell?"

- Terrible! - No! That's my line!

Look, we'll do it again. Right?

- Get it right or I'll skin ya! - Yes, Chief. Sorry, Chief.

Oh!

I say, I say, I say.

My dog has no nose.

- Chief? - Well?

You couldn't make it a rabbit?

Come here! Just you come back here!

Steady!

♪ Take a pair of sparkling lips Take a pair of ruby eyes

♪ Take a... ♪ Oh, that's wrong.

Er, from the top, please, Otter.

♪ Take a pair of sparkling eyes

♪ Take a pair of ruby lips

♪ Take a... ♪ Oh, dear, dear. Oh, dear.

I rather think we slipped into a wrong key.

I rather think YOU slipped into a wrong key.

I slipped?

I hardly think so. Never mind, try again.

Well, actually, Mr Toad,

I do have one or two other things to do.

Well, if it's only one or two things...

Just leave those alone, young fellow.

- Are these slides, Mr Badger? - They are.

- I told you they were slides. - Well, anyone knows that.

Fingers off that magic lantern!

Now that's enough. We haven't time to...

Great Heavens! Look at the time!

Quiet! Quiet, please. Quiet, please, everybody!

♪ Take a pair of ruby lips Take a pair... ♪

- TOAD! - Well, really!

Now then, everybody,

in just 35 minutes the audience take their seats.

So everyone backstage, please.

Mole, can we have that sawdust swept up?

Leave that alone, young fellow! Toad, get into costume!

Where's that wretched hedgehog? He should be on the curtains.

Ah, there you are, sonny. Curtains closed, please.

- Thank you. - Nothing like enough rehearsal!

People will expect so much of me.

Oh, dear, oh, dear. 35 minutes! Oh, dear, oh, dear.

Well, what about... "My hedgehog has no nose"?

- That would be all right. - Dog, you idiot, dog!

Oh!

- Good luck, Mr Producer. - Why do I do it, Rat?

Why do I do it?

Ahem!

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

Before I give you a chance

to show how much better you are than the cast...

Ha-ha.

Er, I'd like to give my old squeezebox here

a bit of exercise.

It's something you all know. Join in at the end.

♪ All along the backwater Through the rushes tall

♪ Ducks are a-dabbling Up tails all

♪ Ducks' tails, drakes' tails Yellow feet a-quiver

♪ Yellow bills all out of sight Busy in the river

♪ Sludgy green undergrowth where the roach swim

♪ Here we keep our larder Cool and full and dim

♪ Mmm-mmm!

♪ Everyone for what he likes We like to be

♪ Heads down, tails up Dabbling free

♪ High in the blue above Swifts whirl and call... ♪...

♪ Take a pair of ruby lips Take a pair of... ♪

Perhaps not, perhaps not.

A-ha!

Ooh!

♪ High in the blue above Swifts whirl and call

♪ And we're down a-dabbling Dab-dab-dabbling

♪ We're down dabbling Up tails all! ♪

Hooray!

Very good, Ratty!

First class, Ratty. First class.

Now I must get to my magic lantern.

- I'll take over here, Badger. - Good man.

Right, Mole, old chap. Give me a hand.

Very well. Right away, Ratty.

...where ornate brassware,

handsome leather shoes or saddles

and intricately-worked silver jewellery may be obtained.

Jewellery, eh?

But 150 miles to the south of Delhi,

something quite different.

At Agra, the magnificent dome of the...

Uh!

Drat the thing!

Ow!

There, there.

The magnificent dome of the Taj Mahal!

Oh, crumbs, Dad!

Look at that!

This exquisite white marble mausoleum,

built to the memory of his wife...

- Billy! Billy! - Yes, Mr Rat?

About another five minutes of Mr Badger's slides.

Better go and call Mr Toad.

Right, Mr Rat.

Good lad. Well, Mole, we're not doing too badly.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

♪ Take a pair of sparkling eyes Take a... ♪

A-ha!

I wonder if a moustache makes me look more handsome? Yes.

Yes, yes! This one.

Hmm, no.

No, no. This one?

Oh, no! Far too common! Let's see.

Ah! Ha-ha!

Ah, that's better. That's very good.

So, Sire, would you meddle with me?

The finest swordsman in all England!

Oh! Stupid thing.

Yes, yes. Mmm.

YES!

Oh! It stings.

A-ha!

Fine! Ha-ha-ha!

♪ Take a pair of sparkling eyes

♪ Take a... ♪

Oh, I ate the moustache!

Oh, no!

- Four minutes, Mr Toad! - Billy...

Mr Toad? Four minutes, please.

Billy, I'm in trouble...

Mr Toad? Mr Toad?

Oh, thank goodness. It's four minutes, Mr...

- I've... lost... my voice! - Erm, pardon?

I've... swallowed...

...my moustache. Get...help.

Oh, golly Moses!

Sir! Sir!

- Sir! Sir! - Thank goodness. Mr Badger's...

Where's Toad?

Oh, please, sir. He's lost his voice, sir!

- Lost his voice? - He swallowed his moustache.

Oh, the blithering...!

Oh, Toad!

And so it is along the old roads and the familiar pathways

that we make our way back home to the river, woods and copses,

to the firesides we know so well.

Our long journey, made possible

by the wonders of the magic lantern, is over.

Thank you. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

Thank you.

- Ah, didn't go so badly. Eh? - Oh, Badger!

Bit of a problem with the...

- What's the matter? - Toad. He's lost his voice.

- What? - He swallowed his moustache.

He's talking like this. "Uh... eh... uck..." Just like that.

Moustache?

Oh, that creature!

- Oh, why do I do it? - And he's on next!

Next?

- Well... - Come on! Come on!

- Where's the choir? - Not ready yet.

- I can hardly go on again. - And I've done my song.

- Mole! - Yes?

No. No, I couldn't.

Mole, you must go on!

I can't! I don't know anything.

- Give me five minutes. - Really, Badger, I couldn't.

Listen to them. It will spoil the whole evening.

And it's been so good. Mole, please!

Mole, please.

Oh. Oh, my gosh.

All right. I'll go on. I'll do it!

- Splendid! - Oh, good old Mole!

Ladies and gentlemen!

Ladies and gentlemen... and weasels,

thank you. Ahem.

Owing to the sudden and unfortunate disposition

of Mr Toad,

I am afraid he will not be able to sing us

his selections from Gilbert and Sullivan.

But... we have been fortunate in obtaining the services

of that well-known personality, the ever-popular...

Mole!

Fancy old Mole!

Come on, Moley! We won't eat ya!

Oh, I don't know!

I would like to...

- Er..to..er... - Oh, well. To err is human!

I would like to sing a little song.

It's called "You've Got To Have A Little Bit Of Style".

♪ You've got to have a little bit... } Sorry.

♪ You've got to have... a little bit of... ♪ Oh, dear.

'Ere, he's got the style, but he can't get over it!

We can't have this. I'm going to help him out.

All right, old fellow. We'll show them.

Now, key of A Major, I think, Moley.

Er, well, er...

A Major.

Key of A Major and let's give it to them, Moley - with style!

One, two, three, four.

♪ You've got to have a little bit of style

♪ That's the thing that always knocks them in the aisle

♪ Just be scintillating, debonair and chic

♪ And Toad can give you hints on after dinner speaking

♪ Then you'll have a little bit of style

♪ You've got to have a little bit of style

♪ If you try too hard You'll miss it by a mile

♪ So be yourself Don't bother to pretend

♪ And everything you do will have a happy ending

♪ And you'll have a little bit of style

♪ Show you've got a little bit of style

♪ Just be yourself and you will find your friends

♪ Will help you make the story have a happy ending

♪ And you'll have a little bit of...

♪ You've got to have a little bit of...

♪ You've got to have a little bit of... style! ♪

Eh? What?

Good night, Mr Rat! Good night, Mr Mole!

Thanks for coming! Merry Christmas, eh?

- Merry Christmas! - Good night!

- Oh, wasn't it fun? - First class!

Weren't those weasels awful?

Weren't they just? And weren't you splendid?

Ratty, you don't think I showed off?

Showed off? My dear Mole...

Wa-ha-ha! It's out!

Ha ha ha! It's out! It's out! I'm all right! I'm all right!

Ladies and gentlemen, I must apologise for the...

Oh, dear.

- I say, where are they? - Well, they've gone, Toad.

- Gone? - I's over. We couldn't wait.

Over? You couldn't...?

My song!

What about my song?

Well, Toad...

- Well, Toad... - Next year, Toad.

Next year.

Oh, I say!

♪ Spin me a dream

♪ Woven silver and gold

♪ From sunshine and shadows

♪ And days long ago

♪ Where people are memories

♪ And stories unfold

♪ Willows

♪ The tales you have told me

♪ Wind in the Willows

♪ You just seem to know

♪ Who you can tum to

♪ And which way to go

♪ To unwind your wondrous mind

♪ Wind in the Willows

♪ Take me there ♪