All language subtitles for Tenacious D S01E03 The Fan; Road Gig 1080p Amazon WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD.ENG

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:20,583 --> 00:00:23,150 ♪ Aha ♪ 2 00:00:23,350 --> 00:00:27,158 ♪ Ooh ♪ 3 00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:35,834 Okay, um, the next band asked me 4 00:00:36,034 --> 00:00:37,883 to read this. 5 00:00:38,083 --> 00:00:40,400 "Caution. The Surgeon General of Rock 6 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:42,917 "warns that viewing this next band 7 00:00:43,117 --> 00:00:45,208 is equal to 29 orgasms." 8 00:00:45,408 --> 00:00:47,500 Here they are. Tenacious D. 9 00:00:56,125 --> 00:00:59,425 ♪ Climb upon my faithful steed ♪ 10 00:00:59,625 --> 00:01:03,458 ♪ Then we gonna ride gonna smoke some weed ♪ 11 00:01:03,658 --> 00:01:08,166 ♪ Climb upon my big-assed steed ♪ 12 00:01:08,366 --> 00:01:14,834 ♪ And ride, ride, ride ♪ 13 00:01:28,959 --> 00:01:31,583 ♪ What's the name of the song Explosivo ♪ 14 00:01:31,783 --> 00:01:32,800 ♪ Don't know what it's about ♪ 15 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:34,383 ♪ But it's good to go ♪ 16 00:01:34,583 --> 00:01:36,000 ♪ What's the name of my girlfriend ♪ 17 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:37,217 ♪ I don't know ♪ 18 00:01:37,417 --> 00:01:38,625 ♪ But she's built like the shit ♪ 19 00:01:38,825 --> 00:01:40,217 ♪ And she's good to go, go ♪ 20 00:01:40,417 --> 00:01:42,333 ♪ She's good to go she's good to go ♪ 21 00:01:42,533 --> 00:01:43,800 ♪ We are fueled by Satan ♪ 22 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:45,733 ♪ Yes, we're schooled by Satan ♪ 23 00:01:45,933 --> 00:01:47,467 ♪ Schooled by Satan ♪ 24 00:01:47,667 --> 00:01:49,462 ♪ Writing those tasty riffs ♪ 25 00:01:49,662 --> 00:01:51,258 ♪ Just as fast as we can ♪ 26 00:01:51,458 --> 00:01:52,717 ♪ Fueled by Satan ♪ 27 00:01:52,917 --> 00:01:54,108 ♪ We were the inventors ♪ 28 00:01:54,308 --> 00:01:55,491 ♪ Of the cosmic astral code ♪ 29 00:01:55,691 --> 00:01:56,828 ♪ We've come to blow you away ♪ 30 00:01:57,028 --> 00:01:58,143 ♪ We've come to blow your nose ♪ 31 00:01:58,343 --> 00:01:59,488 ♪ We've come to fucking blow ♪ 32 00:01:59,688 --> 00:02:00,889 ♪ We've come to blow the show ♪ 33 00:02:01,089 --> 00:02:02,257 ♪ We've come to fucking blow ♪ 34 00:02:02,457 --> 00:02:03,625 ♪ You know it you know it ♪ 35 00:02:11,834 --> 00:02:13,291 ♪ What's the name of the song ♪ 36 00:02:13,491 --> 00:02:14,509 ♪ Explosivo ♪ 37 00:02:14,709 --> 00:02:15,875 ♪ Don't know what it's about ♪ 38 00:02:16,075 --> 00:02:17,250 ♪ But it's good to go ♪ 39 00:02:18,917 --> 00:02:19,841 I am not one of you. 40 00:02:20,041 --> 00:02:22,000 I come from a distant time. 41 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:22,883 I am known 42 00:02:23,083 --> 00:02:25,417 as the Angel Crusher. 43 00:02:25,617 --> 00:02:26,563 These picks 44 00:02:26,763 --> 00:02:27,509 that I give you 45 00:02:27,709 --> 00:02:30,041 were molded in Satan's corner. 46 00:02:30,241 --> 00:02:31,008 Take these picks. 47 00:02:31,208 --> 00:02:34,041 They're souvenir Satan picks! 48 00:02:37,125 --> 00:02:39,542 Explosivo. 49 00:02:43,417 --> 00:02:45,175 Wait, uh, announcement. 50 00:02:45,375 --> 00:02:47,296 I accidentally threw my special pick. 51 00:02:47,496 --> 00:02:49,231 It's a clear pick. I can't play-- 52 00:02:49,431 --> 00:02:51,824 I can't play without the clear pick, 53 00:02:52,024 --> 00:02:54,417 so could I get that back, please? 54 00:02:55,917 --> 00:02:58,838 Goddamn it. Well, I don't know how to put this. 55 00:02:59,038 --> 00:03:01,959 If I don't get the pick, show's over, so... 56 00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:06,250 All right, I don't know who has the fucking pick, 57 00:03:06,450 --> 00:03:07,550 but I hope you're happy, 58 00:03:07,750 --> 00:03:09,834 because the show is ruined for everyone else. 59 00:03:10,034 --> 00:03:11,604 No more D, buddy. 60 00:03:11,804 --> 00:03:13,343 No more D. Fuck you. 61 00:03:13,543 --> 00:03:14,817 Let's go, Kaginsky. 62 00:03:15,017 --> 00:03:16,291 Fucking assholes. 63 00:03:16,491 --> 00:03:17,583 Fuck you. 64 00:03:21,250 --> 00:03:22,834 Tenacious D, everyone. 65 00:03:23,034 --> 00:03:23,759 It's always, uh, 66 00:03:23,959 --> 00:03:27,709 always something with those guys. 67 00:03:27,909 --> 00:03:29,383 I got it! 68 00:03:29,583 --> 00:03:31,175 No, it's a bottle cap. 69 00:03:31,375 --> 00:03:33,834 Kyle, did you look underneath the bar? 70 00:03:34,034 --> 00:03:34,966 Yeah. Nothing. 71 00:03:35,166 --> 00:03:36,925 Okay, you guys, seriously, sincerely, 72 00:03:37,125 --> 00:03:38,883 you have to get out of here. We're closed. 73 00:03:39,083 --> 00:03:40,959 Look, tomorrow, when you're cleaning the floor, 74 00:03:41,159 --> 00:03:43,125 if you find-- - We only clean on holidays. 75 00:03:52,834 --> 00:03:54,592 Hi, Jack. Hey, Kyle. 76 00:03:54,792 --> 00:03:57,500 Uh, I'm Lee. I've seen all your shows. 77 00:04:00,625 --> 00:04:01,717 Kyle, you played your solo 78 00:04:01,917 --> 00:04:03,959 a little different tonight, didn't you? 79 00:04:04,159 --> 00:04:04,925 Yeah. 80 00:04:05,125 --> 00:04:06,592 And Jack, you drank water tonight. 81 00:04:06,792 --> 00:04:09,125 Usually, you have soda. Is your throat okay? 82 00:04:09,325 --> 00:04:11,467 Yeah, it's, uh, fine. 83 00:04:11,667 --> 00:04:13,875 We have to go. - I'm your biggest fan. 84 00:04:14,075 --> 00:04:15,792 I created a website for you guys. 85 00:04:15,992 --> 00:04:17,509 I transcribed all your song lyrics. 86 00:04:17,709 --> 00:04:20,150 I compiled a list of Tenacious D's favorite things. 87 00:04:20,350 --> 00:04:22,792 Kyle, you love Jenny Craig macaroni and cheese, 88 00:04:22,992 --> 00:04:24,792 and Jack, you play video golf. 89 00:04:26,041 --> 00:04:27,900 Okay. 90 00:04:28,100 --> 00:04:29,759 Whoa. 91 00:04:29,959 --> 00:04:31,800 Look, it's very nice that you like the D, 92 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:35,166 and we're glad you had the opportunity to meet us. 93 00:04:35,366 --> 00:04:36,624 However, now we have to 94 00:04:36,824 --> 00:04:37,883 bid you a fond adieu 95 00:04:38,083 --> 00:04:41,333 and resolve the evening for its best tidings. 96 00:04:41,533 --> 00:04:43,300 Oh, hey, Jack, Kyle. 97 00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:45,750 I think I have something for you guys. 98 00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:54,550 You found the pick! 99 00:04:54,750 --> 00:04:56,000 Dude, we're back in business. 100 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:57,937 Yeah. 101 00:04:59,875 --> 00:05:02,046 This dude is total stalker-azzi. 102 00:05:02,246 --> 00:05:04,417 He's full love knife material. 103 00:05:04,617 --> 00:05:05,800 - Love knife? - Yeah. 104 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:08,129 They get in close, too close. 105 00:05:08,329 --> 00:05:10,458 "Man, I love you guys so much. 106 00:05:10,658 --> 00:05:11,875 I have to show you." 107 00:05:13,417 --> 00:05:16,050 And then, you're bloody all over, 108 00:05:16,250 --> 00:05:18,709 but they think you're doing, like, a good thing. 109 00:05:18,909 --> 00:05:19,883 Guys. 110 00:05:20,083 --> 00:05:21,217 Okay, listen. 111 00:05:21,417 --> 00:05:23,625 I just need a picture of the D for the website. 112 00:05:23,825 --> 00:05:24,792 If you guys give me your address, 113 00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:25,800 I'll be glad to pick it up. 114 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,458 Okay, I'll tell you what we'll do. 115 00:05:27,658 --> 00:05:28,759 You give us your address, 116 00:05:28,959 --> 00:05:30,875 and we'll be happy to mail it to you. 117 00:05:31,075 --> 00:05:34,000 That'd be great! 118 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:35,091 Here. 119 00:05:35,291 --> 00:05:37,883 Thank you. 120 00:05:38,083 --> 00:05:41,083 Check out the website. - Yeah, we'll get right to it. 121 00:05:41,283 --> 00:05:43,291 Hey, in fact, maybe we'll sprint home 122 00:05:43,491 --> 00:05:45,500 so we'll get there sooner. 123 00:05:48,542 --> 00:05:50,250 How did he find out where I was born? 124 00:05:50,450 --> 00:05:52,050 He's kookaburra, that's how. 125 00:05:52,250 --> 00:05:54,333 Enough about you. Let's look at my page. 126 00:05:54,533 --> 00:05:55,425 We already did! 127 00:05:55,625 --> 00:05:57,250 I know, but maybe something's changed. 128 00:05:57,450 --> 00:05:58,050 Hey. 129 00:05:58,250 --> 00:05:59,583 You know what we should do? 130 00:05:59,783 --> 00:06:00,800 Yeah. 131 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:02,550 Give this kid the double-dip, 132 00:06:02,750 --> 00:06:05,125 cream dream thrill ride of his life. 133 00:06:08,250 --> 00:06:10,358 - Hello? - Hey, Lee. 134 00:06:10,558 --> 00:06:12,467 Hey. - Hey, buddy. 135 00:06:12,667 --> 00:06:14,625 Here's that picture you wanted. 136 00:06:14,825 --> 00:06:16,875 And some backups. 137 00:06:17,075 --> 00:06:20,687 Oh, cool. 138 00:06:20,887 --> 00:06:23,614 It's late. 139 00:06:23,814 --> 00:06:26,342 All right. 140 00:06:26,542 --> 00:06:28,462 I'm gonna go back to sleep. 141 00:06:28,662 --> 00:06:30,583 You know, work in the morning. 142 00:06:41,417 --> 00:06:44,417 Lee is so awesome. 143 00:06:44,617 --> 00:06:46,021 Yeah. 144 00:06:56,834 --> 00:06:59,625 You have 33 messages. 145 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,966 Lee, what up? It's the D. 146 00:07:03,166 --> 00:07:05,383 So cool hanging with you last night. 147 00:07:05,583 --> 00:07:07,625 You want to come over and play some video golf? 148 00:07:07,825 --> 00:07:09,166 Call us back, broseph. 149 00:07:09,366 --> 00:07:10,333 Lee rules! 150 00:07:11,375 --> 00:07:13,417 Message number 13. 151 00:07:13,617 --> 00:07:15,291 Lee. Lee! 152 00:07:15,491 --> 00:07:16,966 It's KG. 153 00:07:17,166 --> 00:07:18,759 Meet me and JB 154 00:07:18,959 --> 00:07:21,542 at Los Burritos for some rude chowder, dude! 155 00:07:21,742 --> 00:07:23,458 - Lee blows doors down! - See ya! 156 00:07:24,625 --> 00:07:26,217 Message number 29. 157 00:07:26,417 --> 00:07:30,000 Lee, it's Kage and Jables. We're still waiting for you. 158 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,062 Are you okay? Where are you? 159 00:07:32,262 --> 00:07:33,843 We called all the hospitals! 160 00:07:34,043 --> 00:07:35,671 You're not in any of them! 161 00:07:35,871 --> 00:07:37,500 Lee! 162 00:07:40,875 --> 00:07:42,500 Dude! Dude! 163 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,542 Hey, Lee. - Hi. 164 00:07:48,742 --> 00:07:49,383 Hi. 165 00:07:49,583 --> 00:07:51,316 - Are you okay? - Yeah. 166 00:07:51,516 --> 00:07:53,250 Did someone hurt you? 167 00:07:53,450 --> 00:07:54,550 - No. - Oh. 168 00:07:54,750 --> 00:07:56,542 Why did you guys break through my window? 169 00:07:56,742 --> 00:07:58,583 The door's been locked all day! 170 00:07:58,783 --> 00:07:59,509 Jack, don't! 171 00:07:59,709 --> 00:08:00,925 Don't lay your trip on Lee. 172 00:08:01,125 --> 00:08:03,091 Lee likes to dictate the pace and tempo 173 00:08:03,291 --> 00:08:05,458 of every conversation. - Don't tell me about Lee. 174 00:08:05,658 --> 00:08:06,667 I know more about Lee than you do. 175 00:08:06,867 --> 00:08:07,709 Lee likes mashed potatoes, 176 00:08:07,909 --> 00:08:08,875 not French fries. 177 00:08:09,075 --> 00:08:09,841 Oh, listen to you. 178 00:08:10,041 --> 00:08:11,583 "Lee likes mashed potatoes, not French fries." 179 00:08:11,783 --> 00:08:12,759 Anybody like Lee 180 00:08:12,959 --> 00:08:14,333 doesn't want to hear your opinion. 181 00:08:14,533 --> 00:08:15,770 What did you just say? Aha! 182 00:08:15,970 --> 00:08:17,114 Aha! - What? What? I said-- 183 00:08:17,314 --> 00:08:18,258 You said, "Anybody like Lee?" 184 00:08:18,458 --> 00:08:19,962 There's nobody like Lee. 185 00:08:20,162 --> 00:08:21,467 That's so funny. 186 00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:23,250 You think there's a million Lees out there? 187 00:08:23,450 --> 00:08:25,675 That is so rich. 188 00:08:25,875 --> 00:08:28,625 Okay, okay, let's ask Lee. 189 00:08:28,825 --> 00:08:29,883 - Lee. - Lee. 190 00:08:30,083 --> 00:08:32,375 both: Lee. Lee. Lee. Lee. Lee. Lee. Lee. Lee. 191 00:08:32,575 --> 00:08:36,917 ♪ Lee, Lee, Lee ♪ 192 00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:38,383 ♪ Lee ♪ 193 00:08:38,583 --> 00:08:41,875 ♪ Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee ♪ 194 00:08:42,075 --> 00:08:44,958 ♪ We're talking fucking Lee ♪ 195 00:08:45,158 --> 00:08:47,841 ♪ I had a friend named Lee ♪ 196 00:08:48,041 --> 00:08:50,883 ♪ He cast a spell, a spell on me ♪ 197 00:08:51,083 --> 00:08:54,417 ♪ If me and Lee and KG could be three ♪ 198 00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:57,625 ♪ We're flying free tenaciously ♪ 199 00:08:57,825 --> 00:09:00,792 ♪ Skinny dipping in a sea of Lee ♪ 200 00:09:00,992 --> 00:09:03,229 ♪ I'll propose on bended knee ♪ 201 00:09:03,429 --> 00:09:05,467 ♪ To Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee ♪ 202 00:09:05,667 --> 00:09:07,400 ♪ Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee ♪ 203 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:09,075 ♪ Lee, Lee, L-L-L-Lee Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee ♪ 204 00:09:09,275 --> 00:09:10,750 ♪ Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee ♪ 205 00:09:10,950 --> 00:09:13,425 ♪ If Lee could be ♪ 206 00:09:13,625 --> 00:09:15,962 ♪ With me and KG ♪ - ♪ That's me ♪ 207 00:09:16,162 --> 00:09:18,147 - ♪ We'd be free ♪ - ♪ We'd be free ♪ 208 00:09:18,347 --> 00:09:19,928 - ♪ Plant a tree ♪ - ♪ Plant a tree ♪ 209 00:09:20,128 --> 00:09:21,709 - ♪ Just for Lee ♪ - ♪ Just for Lee ♪ 210 00:09:21,909 --> 00:09:23,592 ♪ Lee ♪ 211 00:09:23,792 --> 00:09:25,192 ♪ Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee ♪ 212 00:09:25,392 --> 00:09:26,783 ♪ Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee ♪ 213 00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,175 ♪ Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee ♪ 214 00:09:28,375 --> 00:09:30,458 ♪ Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee ♪ 215 00:09:30,658 --> 00:09:31,834 ♪ Lee ♪ 216 00:09:32,875 --> 00:09:33,800 Lee? 217 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:35,800 Why are you crying? 218 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:39,583 You guys are scaring me. 219 00:09:39,783 --> 00:09:41,625 You're sick, 220 00:09:41,825 --> 00:09:43,841 and... 221 00:09:44,041 --> 00:09:47,041 I hope that you never get well. 222 00:09:48,542 --> 00:09:49,634 I mean, 223 00:09:49,834 --> 00:09:53,542 I've never been loved so much, 224 00:09:53,742 --> 00:09:55,750 and it feels so good. 225 00:09:57,992 --> 00:09:59,333 Thank you! 226 00:10:05,041 --> 00:10:06,920 ♪ With me and KG, yeah ♪ 227 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:08,800 ♪ We're going to sing ♪ 228 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:13,083 ♪ A little song about a few special things ♪ 229 00:10:13,283 --> 00:10:16,634 ♪ Special things ♪ 230 00:10:16,834 --> 00:10:18,667 ♪ Talking special things ♪ 231 00:10:20,625 --> 00:10:23,333 ♪ Like when a friend gives a friend ♪ 232 00:10:23,533 --> 00:10:25,425 ♪ A helping hand ♪ 233 00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:30,917 ♪ Helps his little buddy to understand ♪ 234 00:10:31,117 --> 00:10:32,834 ♪ That's a special thing ♪ 235 00:10:34,750 --> 00:10:37,875 ♪ A very special thing ♪ 236 00:10:38,075 --> 00:10:38,800 ♪ Yeah ♪ 237 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,175 Take it, JB. T-take it. 238 00:10:40,375 --> 00:10:43,675 ♪ I hate to interrupt the thing ♪ 239 00:10:43,875 --> 00:10:48,041 ♪ That Lee was singing about him and KG ♪ 240 00:10:48,241 --> 00:10:50,342 ♪ Special thing ♪ 241 00:10:50,542 --> 00:10:52,458 ♪ What do you think this is ♪ 242 00:10:52,658 --> 00:10:54,437 ♪ Tenacious D 3-D ♪ 243 00:10:54,637 --> 00:10:56,217 ♪ No, no, no, no ♪ 244 00:10:56,417 --> 00:11:01,041 ♪ Like when KG hits a tin-cup shot ♪ 245 00:11:01,241 --> 00:11:03,634 On a Genesis golf. ♪ Tin cup ♪ 246 00:11:03,834 --> 00:11:06,192 ♪ That's a special thing ♪ 247 00:11:06,392 --> 00:11:08,750 ♪ It's a special thing ♪ 248 00:11:08,950 --> 00:11:10,841 ♪ Or when KG ♪ 249 00:11:11,041 --> 00:11:13,917 ♪ Pops in Jenny Craig mac and chee-- ♪ 250 00:11:14,117 --> 00:11:15,467 ♪ And hands it to me ♪ 251 00:11:15,667 --> 00:11:17,917 ♪ That's a special thing ♪ - ♪ Very special thing ♪ 252 00:11:18,117 --> 00:11:20,925 ♪ It's a special thing ♪ 253 00:11:21,125 --> 00:11:25,291 ♪ Now one and one and one is three ♪ 254 00:11:25,491 --> 00:11:27,709 ♪ A rare occasion for life's ♪ 255 00:11:27,909 --> 00:11:32,300 ♪ Triple D ♪ 256 00:11:32,500 --> 00:11:34,458 ♪ KG, JB, and me ♪ 257 00:11:36,667 --> 00:11:39,754 ♪ KG, JB, and Lee ♪ 258 00:11:39,954 --> 00:11:43,041 ♪ KG, JB and me ♪ 259 00:11:43,241 --> 00:11:47,175 ♪ Oh ♪ 260 00:11:47,375 --> 00:11:51,583 ♪ Now that's one special thing ♪ 261 00:12:02,625 --> 00:12:06,425 - Hey. - Hey. 262 00:12:06,625 --> 00:12:09,587 Jack, where are your shoes? 263 00:12:09,787 --> 00:12:12,397 On your fat fucking feet. 264 00:12:12,597 --> 00:12:15,208 Oh, dude, are these yours? 265 00:12:15,408 --> 00:12:16,675 Sorry. 266 00:12:16,875 --> 00:12:18,941 They're kind of loose on me, though. 267 00:12:19,141 --> 00:12:21,208 What are you saying, my feet are fat? 268 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:21,925 Hey. 269 00:12:22,125 --> 00:12:23,421 Go on a foot diet. 270 00:12:23,621 --> 00:12:24,717 Worked for me. 271 00:12:24,917 --> 00:12:26,750 Why don't you go on a whole body diet? 272 00:12:26,950 --> 00:12:28,258 I am. 273 00:12:28,458 --> 00:12:29,667 Starting with my feet. 274 00:12:31,041 --> 00:12:32,333 Come on. 275 00:12:40,542 --> 00:12:45,166 Okay, um, the next band asked me to read this. 276 00:12:45,366 --> 00:12:46,008 "Attention. 277 00:12:46,208 --> 00:12:47,133 "If you're ovulating, 278 00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:48,800 "move away from the stage, 279 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:50,675 "because this band is so potent, 280 00:12:50,875 --> 00:12:54,125 just sitting near them can get your pregnant." 281 00:12:54,325 --> 00:12:55,834 Here they are. Tenacious D. 282 00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:20,841 ♪ We've been sent ♪ 283 00:13:21,041 --> 00:13:23,500 ♪ To issue all you people here ♪ 284 00:13:23,700 --> 00:13:25,375 ♪ A warning ♪ 285 00:13:29,375 --> 00:13:31,258 ♪ I'm not at liberty to say ♪ 286 00:13:31,458 --> 00:13:35,500 ♪ The details of a most peculiar warning ♪ 287 00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:39,800 ♪ Yeah ♪ 288 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,175 ♪ Suffice to say ♪ 289 00:13:42,375 --> 00:13:44,208 ♪ All you people here ♪ 290 00:13:44,408 --> 00:13:47,542 ♪ Are in grave ♪ 291 00:13:47,742 --> 00:13:49,354 ♪ Danger ♪ 292 00:13:49,554 --> 00:13:51,166 ♪ So come on ♪ 293 00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:57,087 ♪ Through the skies he flies ♪ 294 00:13:57,287 --> 00:13:59,750 ♪ He doesn't know the reason why ♪ 295 00:13:59,950 --> 00:14:01,166 ♪ But he flies ♪ 296 00:14:01,366 --> 00:14:02,091 ♪ So high ♪ 297 00:14:02,291 --> 00:14:04,125 ♪ You know that it's true ♪ 298 00:14:05,834 --> 00:14:09,667 ♪ Lot of times when the elders they smile ♪ 299 00:14:09,867 --> 00:14:11,509 ♪ An illusion and infusion ♪ 300 00:14:11,709 --> 00:14:15,458 ♪ And intrusion and amusement park ride ♪ 301 00:14:19,917 --> 00:14:21,883 ♪ Exploding brains ♪ 302 00:14:22,083 --> 00:14:24,966 ♪ From Alzon to Zanzibar ♪ 303 00:14:25,166 --> 00:14:28,583 ♪ To the shores of ye old rustic Chinook ♪ 304 00:14:29,792 --> 00:14:31,634 ♪ Decimating the competition ♪ 305 00:14:31,834 --> 00:14:35,083 ♪ Leaving in their wake the blind ambition ♪ 306 00:14:35,283 --> 00:14:36,958 ♪ Come along children ♪ 307 00:14:37,158 --> 00:14:38,634 ♪ And rock, get it on ♪ 308 00:14:38,834 --> 00:14:43,504 ♪ In whatever heinous realm that it squats ♪ 309 00:14:43,704 --> 00:14:48,523 ♪ In whatever heinous realm that it squats ♪ 310 00:14:48,723 --> 00:14:53,542 ♪ In whatever heinous realm that it squats ♪ 311 00:14:53,742 --> 00:14:56,062 ♪ That it squats ♪ 312 00:14:56,262 --> 00:14:59,093 ♪ That it squats ♪ 313 00:14:59,293 --> 00:15:02,125 ♪ That it squats ♪ 314 00:15:06,096 --> 00:15:09,467 Thank you. 315 00:15:09,667 --> 00:15:13,667 All right, we'd like to open up the floor to some Q and A, 316 00:15:13,867 --> 00:15:17,125 so anyone who has some questions... 317 00:15:23,875 --> 00:15:27,166 Okay, I'm gonna start if off myself. 318 00:15:27,366 --> 00:15:27,925 Um... 319 00:15:28,125 --> 00:15:29,634 Oh, here's one. 320 00:15:29,834 --> 00:15:32,250 Uh, how do we write our songs? 321 00:15:32,450 --> 00:15:33,133 Well, 322 00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:34,566 we write what we know. 323 00:15:34,766 --> 00:15:36,000 Right, we're reporters. 324 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:37,417 Stenographers. 325 00:15:37,617 --> 00:15:38,634 We transcribe life 326 00:15:38,834 --> 00:15:40,467 and put a little melody under it. 327 00:15:40,667 --> 00:15:42,050 You don't know what a stenographer is. 328 00:15:42,250 --> 00:15:44,166 Yes, I do. I know what a fucking stenographer is. 329 00:15:44,366 --> 00:15:46,175 Oh, yeah? What is it? 330 00:15:46,375 --> 00:15:47,500 I don't know what a fucking st-- 331 00:15:47,700 --> 00:15:50,300 So who car-- What is it? 332 00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:52,959 You don't know what a fucking stenographer is, homes. 333 00:15:53,159 --> 00:15:56,258 Calling the kettle black. 334 00:15:56,458 --> 00:15:59,166 Okay, ladies, why don't you take your tea party elsewhere? 335 00:15:59,366 --> 00:16:01,208 All right, please give a warm hand for your next... 336 00:16:01,408 --> 00:16:02,791 Yeah, yeah. Mission accomplished. 337 00:16:02,991 --> 00:16:04,175 We made the audience our bitches, 338 00:16:04,375 --> 00:16:06,379 and then we fucked their fannies hard. 339 00:16:06,579 --> 00:16:08,583 We gave them a good clop in the chops. 340 00:16:08,783 --> 00:16:09,800 Hey, guys, guys, guys. 341 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:12,208 Um, listen, could you take next week off? 342 00:16:12,408 --> 00:16:13,592 Oh, do you think we need a break? 343 00:16:13,792 --> 00:16:16,175 No, actually, I think that we need a break. 344 00:16:16,375 --> 00:16:18,542 My brother's got this new club that he opened up, 345 00:16:18,742 --> 00:16:19,812 and I promised him I'd throw him 346 00:16:20,012 --> 00:16:21,083 some of my open mic-ers, so... 347 00:16:21,283 --> 00:16:21,966 A gig? 348 00:16:22,166 --> 00:16:23,342 No problem! - We're there! 349 00:16:23,542 --> 00:16:25,208 Yeah, the thing is, it's out of town. 350 00:16:25,408 --> 00:16:26,604 Road gig! 351 00:16:26,804 --> 00:16:27,800 World tour. 352 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:29,133 I mean, it's not far. 353 00:16:29,333 --> 00:16:31,337 You could probably ride a bike to it. 354 00:16:31,537 --> 00:16:33,542 Um... Oh, and there's a cover charge. 355 00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:35,217 Piece of the gate! Pro gig! 356 00:16:35,417 --> 00:16:39,583 No, you'd actually have to pay the cover to get in. 357 00:16:39,783 --> 00:16:41,875 It's still a fucking road gig! 358 00:16:43,834 --> 00:16:45,192 I mean, if you got on our roof, 359 00:16:45,392 --> 00:16:46,750 you could see it from there. 360 00:16:46,950 --> 00:16:47,750 You know? 361 00:16:52,750 --> 00:16:55,150 ♪ The road is fucking hard ♪ 362 00:16:55,350 --> 00:16:57,866 ♪ The road is fucking tough ♪ 363 00:16:58,066 --> 00:17:00,329 ♪ There's no question that ♪ 364 00:17:00,529 --> 00:17:02,592 ♪ It is rough, rough stuff ♪ 365 00:17:02,792 --> 00:17:05,629 ♪ The road is a B-I-itch my friend ♪ 366 00:17:05,829 --> 00:17:08,467 ♪ But it's the only road I know ♪ 367 00:17:08,667 --> 00:17:11,250 ♪ When I'm snacking on a tasty boosh ♪ 368 00:17:11,450 --> 00:17:14,041 ♪ Right after the show ♪ 369 00:17:14,241 --> 00:17:16,083 ♪ G-G-Go, go, go ♪ 370 00:17:17,333 --> 00:17:18,358 Oh, fuck. 371 00:17:18,558 --> 00:17:19,583 What? 372 00:17:34,583 --> 00:17:37,917 Fucking shit on a brick! 373 00:17:38,117 --> 00:17:40,062 God damn it! 374 00:17:40,262 --> 00:17:42,008 We're out. 375 00:17:42,208 --> 00:17:44,125 Man, I gassed up before we left. 376 00:17:44,325 --> 00:17:45,841 Wiper fluid, Kyle. 377 00:17:46,041 --> 00:17:48,149 Look at that fucking bug. 378 00:17:48,349 --> 00:17:50,458 We'll never get that off. 379 00:17:52,458 --> 00:17:53,834 Agh! 380 00:17:56,458 --> 00:17:59,125 All right. 381 00:18:43,667 --> 00:18:45,858 Hello, brothers. 382 00:18:46,058 --> 00:18:48,250 Please, come in. 383 00:18:48,450 --> 00:18:49,896 Mm. 384 00:18:50,096 --> 00:18:51,542 Mm, mm. 385 00:18:53,917 --> 00:18:55,342 Hello, wanderers. 386 00:18:55,542 --> 00:18:57,333 Welcome to Jesus Ranch. 387 00:18:57,533 --> 00:18:59,008 I am Liggaguie. 388 00:18:59,208 --> 00:19:01,258 Uh, we're Tenacious D. 389 00:19:01,458 --> 00:19:04,125 You're welcome to join us for a circle church. 390 00:19:06,542 --> 00:19:08,400 W-what's that smell? 391 00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:10,258 Oh, that. 392 00:19:10,458 --> 00:19:12,625 The collected leavings of the brethren. 393 00:19:14,208 --> 00:19:15,425 You mean your shits. 394 00:19:15,625 --> 00:19:18,417 Our...cult has a simple philosophy. 395 00:19:18,617 --> 00:19:19,717 Each time you produce a stool, 396 00:19:19,917 --> 00:19:22,458 you part with a portion of your soul. 397 00:19:22,658 --> 00:19:24,166 We save our droppings 398 00:19:24,366 --> 00:19:25,675 so that when we die, 399 00:19:25,875 --> 00:19:27,150 we may be buried with them 400 00:19:27,350 --> 00:19:28,625 and be complete upon reaching 401 00:19:28,825 --> 00:19:29,667 the next world. 402 00:19:47,917 --> 00:19:50,625 Kyle, did you see that potato? 403 00:19:50,825 --> 00:19:53,008 It's huge. 404 00:19:53,208 --> 00:19:54,759 How'd you get 'em so big? 405 00:19:54,959 --> 00:19:57,925 Our soil here is the richest in the world. 406 00:19:58,125 --> 00:20:02,208 One of the benefits of living in our own waste. 407 00:20:02,408 --> 00:20:03,383 Yeah. 408 00:20:03,583 --> 00:20:06,291 What are the others? 409 00:20:07,750 --> 00:20:08,759 Liggaguie. 410 00:20:08,959 --> 00:20:10,383 Fly? Lalie? What is it? 411 00:20:10,583 --> 00:20:11,966 Attention. 412 00:20:12,166 --> 00:20:14,191 This is the county health department. 413 00:20:14,391 --> 00:20:16,417 This property has been condemned. 414 00:20:16,617 --> 00:20:18,291 Leave your shit behind. 415 00:20:18,491 --> 00:20:19,791 Wash your hands, 416 00:20:19,991 --> 00:20:21,091 and come out, now. 417 00:20:21,291 --> 00:20:23,291 They've shut off the electricity and the plumbing. 418 00:20:23,491 --> 00:20:24,291 No one leaves. 419 00:20:28,125 --> 00:20:30,709 We all knew this day would come. 420 00:20:30,909 --> 00:20:33,041 Laugh and rejoice. 421 00:20:33,241 --> 00:20:34,258 Okay. 422 00:20:34,458 --> 00:20:36,208 I'm sorry about the apocalypse, 423 00:20:36,408 --> 00:20:38,208 but we've got a gig. 424 00:20:38,408 --> 00:20:40,208 Everyone remain calm. 425 00:20:40,408 --> 00:20:42,091 Come. 426 00:20:42,291 --> 00:20:43,816 Gather in a circle 427 00:20:44,016 --> 00:20:45,342 for a talent show. 428 00:20:45,542 --> 00:20:47,212 ♪ I know Jesus loves me ♪ 429 00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:49,083 ♪ He loves me quite a lot ♪ 430 00:20:49,283 --> 00:20:50,050 What do you think? 431 00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:51,858 Well, we could be here for a while. 432 00:20:52,058 --> 00:20:53,667 Let's bring in the heavy artillery. 433 00:20:53,867 --> 00:20:55,333 ♪ I know Jesus loves me ♪ 434 00:20:55,533 --> 00:20:56,800 Go psychological on 'em. 435 00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,525 ♪ I know Jesus loves me ♪ 436 00:20:58,725 --> 00:21:00,262 ♪ Changing water into wine ♪ 437 00:21:00,462 --> 00:21:02,110 ♪ I know Jesus loves me ♪ 438 00:21:02,310 --> 00:21:03,846 ♪ He loves me quite a lot ♪ 439 00:21:04,046 --> 00:21:05,735 ♪ I know Jesus loves me ♪ 440 00:21:05,935 --> 00:21:07,450 ♪ Changing water into wine ♪ 441 00:21:07,650 --> 00:21:09,350 ♪ I know Jesus loves me ♪ 442 00:21:09,550 --> 00:21:11,071 ♪ He loves me long time ♪ 443 00:21:11,271 --> 00:21:12,639 ♪ I know Jesus loves me ♪ 444 00:21:12,839 --> 00:21:14,208 ♪ He loves me quite a-- ♪ 445 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,709 All guards on full alert. 446 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:26,333 Dude, we gotta get out of here. 447 00:21:26,533 --> 00:21:27,521 We got a gig in 25 minutes. 448 00:21:27,721 --> 00:21:28,709 We gotta do something. 449 00:21:31,625 --> 00:21:33,675 Got it. Battle of the bands. 450 00:21:33,875 --> 00:21:36,458 We fight their music with our music. 451 00:21:36,658 --> 00:21:37,425 Or... 452 00:21:37,625 --> 00:21:39,542 we dig a tunnel out of here. 453 00:21:39,742 --> 00:21:41,050 Or we build a laser. 454 00:21:41,250 --> 00:21:42,629 Kyle, laser construction. 455 00:21:42,829 --> 00:21:44,008 Ballpark and figures with me. 456 00:21:44,208 --> 00:21:46,917 Well, dude, we only got our guitars. 457 00:21:48,875 --> 00:21:49,841 You know what? 458 00:21:50,041 --> 00:21:52,208 I'm leaning towards battle of the bands. 459 00:21:52,408 --> 00:21:54,083 Strap on, Kyle. Let's ride! 460 00:21:55,834 --> 00:21:58,375 ♪ We ride with kings on mighty steeds ♪ 461 00:21:58,575 --> 00:22:00,175 ♪ Across the Devil's plain ♪ 462 00:22:00,375 --> 00:22:02,959 ♪ We walked with Jesus and his cross ♪ 463 00:22:03,159 --> 00:22:05,625 ♪ He did not die in vain, no ♪ 464 00:22:05,825 --> 00:22:06,917 What is that? 465 00:22:09,291 --> 00:22:10,467 ♪ We've run with wolves ♪ 466 00:22:10,667 --> 00:22:11,841 ♪ We've climbed K2 ♪ 467 00:22:12,041 --> 00:22:14,129 ♪ Even stopped a moving train ♪ 468 00:22:14,329 --> 00:22:16,273 They're playing music back at us. 469 00:22:16,473 --> 00:22:18,417 ♪ To rock this house again ♪ 470 00:22:18,617 --> 00:22:19,896 ♪ Rock ♪ 471 00:22:20,096 --> 00:22:21,175 Kind of hooky. 472 00:22:21,375 --> 00:22:23,217 Yeah, yeah, toe-tapping. 473 00:22:23,417 --> 00:22:25,442 ♪ We ride, we ride we'll never subside ♪ 474 00:22:25,642 --> 00:22:27,762 How'd he get it so loud without electricity? 475 00:22:27,962 --> 00:22:30,083 ♪ If you say that we do not ride ♪ 476 00:22:30,283 --> 00:22:32,083 ♪ I'll tan your fucking hide ♪ 477 00:22:32,283 --> 00:22:33,291 ♪ Ride ♪ 478 00:22:37,750 --> 00:22:39,083 They're leaving! 479 00:22:39,283 --> 00:22:40,091 We've won! 480 00:22:40,291 --> 00:22:44,917 You've saved us! 481 00:22:50,333 --> 00:22:51,841 More tomatoes? 482 00:22:52,041 --> 00:22:54,250 I do believe so, yes. 483 00:22:55,929 --> 00:22:57,302 Mm. 484 00:22:57,502 --> 00:22:58,675 Oh. 485 00:22:58,875 --> 00:23:00,333 Life on the road, Kage. 486 00:23:02,291 --> 00:23:03,792 Life on the road. 487 00:23:06,625 --> 00:23:07,883 Hey, guys. 488 00:23:08,083 --> 00:23:11,208 I got that, uh, wiper fluid for you. 489 00:23:11,408 --> 00:23:14,021 ♪ It was a big day ♪ 490 00:23:14,221 --> 00:23:16,427 ♪ On Jesus Ranch ♪ 491 00:23:16,627 --> 00:23:18,834 ♪ Jesus Ranch ♪ 492 00:23:20,792 --> 00:23:24,692 ♪ He was harvesting a big tomato ♪ 493 00:23:24,892 --> 00:23:28,792 ♪ It was in the sand all right ♪ 494 00:23:30,750 --> 00:23:33,750 ♪ I'm taking a walk in the woods ♪ 495 00:23:33,950 --> 00:23:35,342 ♪ And it's nice outside ♪ 496 00:23:35,542 --> 00:23:37,583 ♪ Smells of shit ♪ 497 00:23:37,783 --> 00:23:38,550 ♪ Liggaguie ♪ 498 00:23:38,750 --> 00:23:40,634 ♪ Gligagiggagoogwayogo ♪ 499 00:23:40,834 --> 00:23:45,208 ♪ I come upon a silver-striped mushroom ♪ 500 00:23:45,408 --> 00:23:48,959 ♪ And I fa-la-la-la-ly ♪ 501 00:23:49,159 --> 00:23:51,375 ♪ And I fly, fly ♪ 502 00:23:51,575 --> 00:23:54,437 ♪ It was a big day ♪ 503 00:23:54,637 --> 00:23:56,989 ♪ On Jesus Ranch ♪ 504 00:23:57,189 --> 00:23:59,542 ♪ Jesus Ranch ♪ 505 00:23:59,742 --> 00:24:00,717 ♪ Jesus ♪ 506 00:24:00,917 --> 00:24:03,358 ♪ I fell in love with a baked potato ♪ 507 00:24:03,558 --> 00:24:06,000 ♪ That's when I started the dance ♪ 508 00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:06,800 ♪ Yeah ♪ 509 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:08,959 ♪ In France ♪ 510 00:24:10,542 --> 00:24:12,250 ♪ I'm taking a walk in the woods ♪ 511 00:24:12,450 --> 00:24:13,425 ♪ Fuck yeah ♪ 512 00:24:13,625 --> 00:24:15,295 ♪ It's nice very, very nice ♪ 513 00:24:15,495 --> 00:24:16,966 ♪ Smells of shit ♪ 514 00:24:17,166 --> 00:24:20,608 ♪ Liggaguie ♪ gligagiggagoogwayogo ♪ 515 00:24:20,808 --> 00:24:24,250 ♪ I come upon a silver-striped mushroom ♪ 516 00:24:24,450 --> 00:24:26,750 ♪ And I fa-la-la-la-ly ♪ 517 00:24:26,950 --> 00:24:28,217 ♪ La-ly ♪ 518 00:24:28,417 --> 00:24:29,983 ♪ And I fly, fly ♪ 519 00:24:30,183 --> 00:24:31,750 ♪ Fa-la-la-la-ly ♪ 520 00:24:31,950 --> 00:24:33,229 ♪ Ly-ly ♪ 521 00:24:33,429 --> 00:24:36,552 ♪ And I fly ♪ 522 00:24:36,752 --> 00:24:39,875 ♪ I'm gone ♪ 523 00:24:50,641 --> 00:24:55,824 ♪ Yow ♪ 524 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:15,834 I heard those guys somewhere before, I think. 525 00:25:16,034 --> 00:25:16,966 Yeah? 526 00:25:17,166 --> 00:25:17,966 I liked 'em. 527 00:25:18,166 --> 00:25:20,291 Yeah, it's toe-tapping. 528 00:25:27,333 --> 00:25:29,625 We survived that one in one piece, eh, Kyle? 529 00:25:29,825 --> 00:25:31,634 Well, two pieces. 530 00:25:31,834 --> 00:25:33,166 Kyle, did we wear the same clothes 531 00:25:33,366 --> 00:25:34,208 through the whole episode? 532 00:25:34,408 --> 00:25:35,217 Of course, Jack, 533 00:25:35,417 --> 00:25:37,917 because the D washes with Explosivo, 534 00:25:38,117 --> 00:25:39,667 that once-a-month detergent. 535 00:25:41,041 --> 00:25:43,458 Explosivo. For that once-a-month clean. 536 00:25:43,658 --> 00:25:44,550 Explosivo. 537 00:25:44,750 --> 00:25:46,509 Go from this... 538 00:25:46,709 --> 00:25:48,625 To this. 539 00:25:54,417 --> 00:25:58,458 ♪ I met a tasty baby in Michigan ♪ 540 00:26:02,375 --> 00:26:05,959 ♪ We screwed two times then I left ♪ 541 00:26:09,333 --> 00:26:13,333 ♪ Sometimes I think of my baby in Michigan ♪ 542 00:26:14,834 --> 00:26:17,291 ♪ Why can't I stay in one place ♪ 543 00:26:17,491 --> 00:26:19,083 ♪ For more than two days ♪ 544 00:26:19,283 --> 00:26:23,883 ♪ Why ♪ 545 00:26:24,083 --> 00:26:30,375 ♪ Because I'm talking about the road ♪ 36597

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