Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:34,417 --> 00:00:36,525
Okay, uh, the next band
2
00:00:36,725 --> 00:00:38,634
asked me to read this.
3
00:00:38,834 --> 00:00:43,291
"Stick around if you don't mind
some cream in your jeans."
4
00:00:43,491 --> 00:00:45,458
Here they are, Tenacious D!
5
00:00:56,725 --> 00:00:58,554
So, um...
6
00:01:00,583 --> 00:01:03,291
If I was gonna say just one
thing to y'all tonight...
7
00:01:06,583 --> 00:01:09,759
I'd say, "Set the artist free."
8
00:01:09,959 --> 00:01:12,166
I'm talking about
this artist in here.
9
00:01:12,366 --> 00:01:14,175
Set it free!
10
00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:18,258
I'm saying quit your day job!
11
00:01:18,458 --> 00:01:22,166
Now, I know a lot of you people
here, you're saying,
12
00:01:22,366 --> 00:01:24,937
"I can't quit my day job!
13
00:01:25,137 --> 00:01:27,709
I've got kids to feed, Jack!"
14
00:01:27,909 --> 00:01:29,717
Quit your day job!
15
00:01:29,917 --> 00:01:32,133
Focus on your craft one time,
16
00:01:32,333 --> 00:01:33,634
before it's all over,
you've died,
17
00:01:33,834 --> 00:01:36,500
you've squandered it,
you fuckin' robots!
18
00:01:39,041 --> 00:01:40,925
Now, after a couple of years
19
00:01:41,125 --> 00:01:43,917
of you focusing earnestly
on your craft,
20
00:01:44,117 --> 00:01:45,800
KG and I will swoop in,
21
00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:47,709
we will check out
your progress,
22
00:01:47,909 --> 00:01:49,333
and we will encourage you
23
00:01:49,533 --> 00:01:52,050
to continue!
24
00:01:52,250 --> 00:01:54,925
Or we will say, "Stop!"
25
00:01:55,125 --> 00:01:57,425
And then, seriously,
you must stop,
26
00:01:57,625 --> 00:02:00,834
or penalties will be created
and enforced,
27
00:02:01,034 --> 00:02:02,333
'cause listen...
28
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:06,291
This is the problem.
29
00:02:08,333 --> 00:02:11,421
♪ Sometimes you follow
your heart ♪
30
00:02:11,621 --> 00:02:14,709
♪ Sometimes your heart
cuts a fart ♪
31
00:02:15,875 --> 00:02:19,629
♪ That's the cosmic shame ♪
32
00:02:19,829 --> 00:02:22,418
♪ That's the cosmic shame ♪
33
00:02:22,618 --> 00:02:25,229
And I know what
you're saying now!
34
00:02:25,429 --> 00:02:28,041
"What makes you guys
so fuckin' good?"
35
00:02:28,241 --> 00:02:29,458
I don't fuckin' know!
36
00:02:29,658 --> 00:02:31,166
And I don't like it!
37
00:02:31,366 --> 00:02:32,675
I stay up going, "God!
38
00:02:32,875 --> 00:02:34,917
Why can't everybody
fuckin' have it?"
39
00:02:35,117 --> 00:02:36,008
'Cause this is the thing!
40
00:02:36,208 --> 00:02:38,316
Some people learn it
on the streets.
41
00:02:38,516 --> 00:02:40,425
Some people learn it
in the schools.
42
00:02:40,625 --> 00:02:43,709
Me and KG, we were fuckin'
born with it, homes.
43
00:02:43,909 --> 00:02:45,125
Let's check it out.
44
00:02:55,750 --> 00:02:59,375
♪ That shit came off the top
of my fuckin' head, y'all ♪
45
00:02:59,575 --> 00:03:01,229
- ♪ Off of his head, y'all ♪
- Oh, God. Why?
46
00:03:01,429 --> 00:03:02,883
- ♪ Off of his head, y'all ♪
- Why? Why?
47
00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:05,625
- ♪ Off of his head, y'all ♪
- Why? Why? Why?
48
00:03:05,825 --> 00:03:06,875
♪ It's a cosmic shame ♪
49
00:03:07,075 --> 00:03:08,091
Thank you.
50
00:03:08,291 --> 00:03:09,841
Listen, we're gonna be over
51
00:03:10,041 --> 00:03:12,375
at, uh, Captain Ed's Records
tomorrow
52
00:03:12,575 --> 00:03:13,425
for a T-shirt signing
53
00:03:13,625 --> 00:03:15,625
Tenacious D style.
Thank you.
54
00:03:15,825 --> 00:03:18,250
Thank you!
Good night!
55
00:03:37,959 --> 00:03:39,133
Listen,
56
00:03:39,333 --> 00:03:41,358
if you're not gonna
buy anything,
57
00:03:41,558 --> 00:03:43,383
I have to ask you
to move on.
58
00:03:43,583 --> 00:03:46,000
Thank you,
but we're not customers.
59
00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:47,091
We're actually here on a rare
60
00:03:47,291 --> 00:03:49,375
personal appearance
T-shirt signing.
61
00:03:49,575 --> 00:03:50,425
We're Tenacious D.
62
00:03:50,625 --> 00:03:52,417
Greatest band on Earth.
63
00:03:53,792 --> 00:03:57,000
I was in a band once.
A couple of bands.
64
00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:59,800
Yep, I've seen it all.
65
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,759
I drove a car
into a hotel room once.
66
00:04:02,959 --> 00:04:07,208
Had a three-way with a pair
of Siamese twins.
67
00:04:07,408 --> 00:04:09,917
Ate an entire horse.
68
00:04:11,250 --> 00:04:12,837
That's pretty kickass.
69
00:04:13,037 --> 00:04:14,425
That's a cream dream.
70
00:04:14,625 --> 00:04:17,583
That's not the whole story.
71
00:04:17,783 --> 00:04:18,966
1967.
72
00:04:19,166 --> 00:04:21,342
I'm onstage
at the Fillmore East.
73
00:04:21,542 --> 00:04:24,625
Jimi Hendrix is backstage
throwing up.
74
00:04:24,825 --> 00:04:26,792
Mama Cass is stirring a pot
75
00:04:26,992 --> 00:04:28,759
of her famous spaghetti pie.
76
00:04:28,959 --> 00:04:33,000
Janis Joplin's washing dishes
and throwing up.
77
00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:35,966
And then, the cops burst in.
78
00:04:36,166 --> 00:04:38,500
As I'm trying to get out
the back door,
79
00:04:38,700 --> 00:04:40,291
this girl with a glass...
80
00:04:40,491 --> 00:04:42,091
My guitar's on fire.
81
00:04:42,291 --> 00:04:45,417
I've been up all night
shooting cheese balls.
82
00:04:46,709 --> 00:04:48,800
That's cocaine and cheese.
83
00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:50,709
When I woke up
the next morning,
84
00:04:50,909 --> 00:04:52,834
I was in a Russian prison.
85
00:04:53,034 --> 00:04:54,342
Total setup.
86
00:04:54,542 --> 00:04:56,483
It's a cream dream.
87
00:04:56,683 --> 00:04:58,425
That's not it at all.
88
00:04:58,625 --> 00:05:02,417
The whole rock star mythos
is a lie!
89
00:05:02,617 --> 00:05:04,008
It'll lead you nowhere.
90
00:05:04,208 --> 00:05:06,667
It's like when you believe
in the Easter Bunny
91
00:05:06,867 --> 00:05:08,000
or the Sasquatch.
92
00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:09,300
No!
93
00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:12,291
You mean Sasquatch
isn't real?
94
00:05:12,491 --> 00:05:14,217
Look.
95
00:05:14,417 --> 00:05:16,175
Look at me!
96
00:05:16,375 --> 00:05:18,191
I'm your future.
97
00:05:18,391 --> 00:05:20,512
Let the dream die!
98
00:05:20,712 --> 00:05:22,834
Let the dream die!
99
00:05:23,034 --> 00:05:24,217
Let it die.
100
00:05:24,417 --> 00:05:26,417
Let the dream die.
- Come on, Jack.
101
00:05:26,617 --> 00:05:27,583
Let's go.
102
00:05:37,041 --> 00:05:39,458
Most of the psychological
community
103
00:05:39,658 --> 00:05:41,125
agrees there are five stages
104
00:05:41,325 --> 00:05:42,729
a person must go through
105
00:05:42,929 --> 00:05:45,135
when confronting death.
106
00:05:45,335 --> 00:05:47,542
The first stage is anger.
107
00:05:48,750 --> 00:05:51,000
Fuckin' Captain Ed!
108
00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:52,467
Joint sucker!
109
00:05:52,667 --> 00:05:54,133
Fuckin' cock smoker!
110
00:05:54,333 --> 00:05:55,800
Probably not even a captain!
111
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,542
Did you see how fuckin' fat
that fuckin' lard-ass was?
112
00:05:58,742 --> 00:05:59,425
Oh yeah.
113
00:05:59,625 --> 00:06:01,759
The second stage is denial.
114
00:06:01,959 --> 00:06:04,234
Jack, our world tour
is just around the corner.
115
00:06:04,434 --> 00:06:06,709
We've got to make a list
of our backstage demands!
116
00:06:06,909 --> 00:06:08,966
Okay, M&M's,
two red for every blue,
117
00:06:09,166 --> 00:06:11,917
Seven strippers, three of Kyle,
three for Jack,
118
00:06:12,117 --> 00:06:12,966
one floater.
119
00:06:13,166 --> 00:06:14,628
- And one retired astronaut.
- Good.
120
00:06:14,828 --> 00:06:16,291
Kyle, could you stretch out
your arm?
121
00:06:16,491 --> 00:06:17,509
I'm measuring you
for our tuxes.
122
00:06:17,709 --> 00:06:19,050
- For what?
- For Grammy night, buddy.
123
00:06:19,250 --> 00:06:21,083
You don't want to go
looking like a hayseed.
124
00:06:22,291 --> 00:06:23,420
Right? Right.
- Uh...
125
00:06:23,620 --> 00:06:24,550
The third stage:
126
00:06:24,750 --> 00:06:27,000
Door-to-door rocking.
127
00:06:31,333 --> 00:06:33,175
♪ I love you, baby ♪
128
00:06:33,375 --> 00:06:36,125
♪ But all I can think about ♪
129
00:06:36,325 --> 00:06:38,592
♪ Is kielbasa sausage ♪
130
00:06:38,792 --> 00:06:40,750
♪ Your butt cheeks is warm ♪
131
00:06:40,950 --> 00:06:41,759
Okay, thank you.
132
00:06:41,959 --> 00:06:43,792
♪ I check my dipstick ♪
133
00:06:43,992 --> 00:06:45,792
♪ You need lube ♪
134
00:06:48,792 --> 00:06:51,125
The fourth stage:
135
00:06:51,325 --> 00:06:53,050
Temp job.
136
00:06:53,250 --> 00:06:55,425
Canadian yarn art!
137
00:06:55,625 --> 00:06:58,500
It sells itself, fellas!
138
00:06:58,700 --> 00:07:00,166
Now, get out there,
139
00:07:00,366 --> 00:07:01,675
and sell it.
140
00:07:01,875 --> 00:07:03,583
The fifth stage:
141
00:07:03,783 --> 00:07:05,333
Acceptance.
142
00:07:17,166 --> 00:07:19,509
Goodbye, Brown Eyes.
143
00:07:19,709 --> 00:07:21,317
We wrote some classic ones.
144
00:07:21,517 --> 00:07:23,125
We knocked 'em on their ass.
145
00:07:25,750 --> 00:07:28,525
Now, I want you to look
over there.
146
00:07:28,725 --> 00:07:31,500
I'm gonna tell you
about the rabbits.
147
00:07:31,700 --> 00:07:34,416
Can you see them,
Brown Eyes?
148
00:07:34,616 --> 00:07:37,333
Can you see 'em,
Brown Eyes?
149
00:07:45,375 --> 00:07:46,709
Kyle...
150
00:07:52,750 --> 00:07:55,550
The rock star mythos
is a lie.
151
00:07:55,750 --> 00:07:58,083
It's like when you believe
in the Easter Bunny,
152
00:07:58,283 --> 00:07:59,875
or the Sasquatch.
153
00:08:02,125 --> 00:08:04,342
♪ There was some scientists ♪
154
00:08:04,542 --> 00:08:07,625
♪ Trying to figure out
the Sasquatch riddle ♪
155
00:08:07,825 --> 00:08:09,500
♪ Then they figured out ♪
156
00:08:09,700 --> 00:08:11,375
♪ It was a missing link ♪
157
00:08:13,375 --> 00:08:15,233
♪ In search of Sasquatch ♪
158
00:08:15,433 --> 00:08:17,091
♪ That was a kickass ♪
159
00:08:17,291 --> 00:08:21,166
♪ "In Search of..."
With Leonard Nimoy ♪
160
00:08:21,366 --> 00:08:23,250
♪ Kickin' out the jams ♪
161
00:08:23,450 --> 00:08:24,258
♪ Ha ♪
162
00:08:24,458 --> 00:08:26,883
♪ He captured imaginations ♪
163
00:08:27,083 --> 00:08:29,717
♪ Of people
all around the globe ♪
164
00:08:29,917 --> 00:08:33,917
♪ His name was Sasquatch,
so I'm told ♪
165
00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:36,925
♪ His legend's ancient ♪
166
00:08:37,125 --> 00:08:41,583
♪ In the ancient scribe
of the Indian tribe ♪
167
00:08:42,625 --> 00:08:45,083
♪ Apache tribe ♪
168
00:08:45,283 --> 00:08:47,175
It's okay!
169
00:08:47,375 --> 00:08:48,841
♪ Scientists have proven ♪
170
00:08:49,041 --> 00:08:51,250
♪ That the Sasquatch,
he is real ♪
171
00:08:51,450 --> 00:08:52,634
♪ Take a look ♪
172
00:08:52,834 --> 00:08:54,208
♪ At the plaster cast
of his foot ♪
173
00:08:54,408 --> 00:08:55,675
♪ Now you know he's real ♪
174
00:08:55,875 --> 00:08:57,837
♪ Listen real close
to the audio tape ♪
175
00:08:58,037 --> 00:08:59,877
♪ Not human,
now you know he's real ♪
176
00:09:00,077 --> 00:09:01,667
♪ Couldn't be a man
in a gorilla suit ♪
177
00:09:01,867 --> 00:09:03,458
♪ No fuckin' way,
now you know he's real ♪
178
00:09:03,658 --> 00:09:05,020
♪ Real ♪
- ♪ Real ♪
179
00:09:05,220 --> 00:09:06,383
♪ Real, real ♪
180
00:09:06,583 --> 00:09:07,917
- ♪ Real, really real ♪
- ♪ Real ♪
181
00:09:08,117 --> 00:09:10,291
♪ Real ♪
182
00:09:22,959 --> 00:09:24,091
Don't take this personally,
183
00:09:24,291 --> 00:09:26,066
'cause it's not about
your playing.
184
00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:28,041
No, dude,
your drumming is kickass.
185
00:09:29,458 --> 00:09:31,008
It's just that the D,
186
00:09:31,208 --> 00:09:33,258
it's always just been
me and KG.
187
00:09:33,458 --> 00:09:37,458
And we're just not
comfortable being a power trio.
188
00:09:40,166 --> 00:09:42,125
I hope there's
no hard feelings.
189
00:09:53,208 --> 00:09:55,524
♪ Sasquatch ♪
190
00:09:55,724 --> 00:09:57,841
♪ Sasquatch ♪
191
00:09:58,041 --> 00:10:05,208
♪ We know your legend's real ♪
192
00:10:05,408 --> 00:10:07,645
♪ Sasquatch ♪
193
00:10:07,845 --> 00:10:09,883
♪ Sasquatch ♪
194
00:10:10,083 --> 00:10:17,250
♪ We know your love is real ♪
195
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:23,133
♪ Sasquatch ♪
196
00:10:23,333 --> 00:10:30,083
♪ You and Tenacious D ♪
197
00:10:30,283 --> 00:10:34,791
♪ Are ♪
198
00:10:34,991 --> 00:10:39,500
♪ Real ♪
199
00:10:47,917 --> 00:10:51,175
That Tenacious D,
they're kickass.
200
00:10:51,375 --> 00:10:54,041
And who should I tell them
said that?
201
00:10:55,667 --> 00:10:57,709
Tell them it was Sasq--
202
00:10:59,709 --> 00:11:02,834
Tell them it was a friend.
203
00:11:03,034 --> 00:11:04,500
Okay.
204
00:11:32,875 --> 00:11:35,150
You know what? You better
tell 'em it was Sasquatch.
205
00:11:35,350 --> 00:11:37,625
They won't know what friend
you're talking about.
206
00:11:37,825 --> 00:11:38,959
- Oh, okay. Sure.
- See you.
207
00:11:39,159 --> 00:11:41,271
Yeah. Soon.
208
00:11:46,542 --> 00:11:49,667
Wow, we sure showed them,
huh, Kyle?
209
00:11:49,867 --> 00:11:51,634
Kyle, what's wrong?
210
00:11:51,834 --> 00:11:54,817
Dude, I'm--I'm balding.
211
00:11:55,017 --> 00:11:58,000
Yeah, dude, you are bald!
212
00:11:58,200 --> 00:11:59,592
Ding. Balding!
213
00:11:59,792 --> 00:12:01,542
- Yeah, ding. Balding.
- Ding.
214
00:12:01,742 --> 00:12:02,717
Balding.
215
00:12:02,917 --> 00:12:04,458
I can't be on television
with this head.
216
00:12:04,658 --> 00:12:05,467
Kage, you're my brother.
217
00:12:05,667 --> 00:12:07,133
I'll tell you
what I'm gonna do.
218
00:12:07,333 --> 00:12:09,625
I'm gonna give you some
of my hair for a transplant.
219
00:12:09,825 --> 00:12:11,509
- Buddy, you would do that?
- Yeah.
220
00:12:11,709 --> 00:12:13,917
You can have any of the hair
from my soul patch.
221
00:12:14,117 --> 00:12:15,300
Your soul patch?
222
00:12:15,500 --> 00:12:18,291
That'll take months!
I need a long, flowing mane!
223
00:12:18,491 --> 00:12:19,383
All right, all right,
224
00:12:19,583 --> 00:12:21,008
if you're gonna be
a whiny bitch about it,
225
00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:22,959
I'll tell you what I'm gonna do
because you're my brother,
226
00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:24,959
I'm gonna give you
some of my ass hair.
227
00:12:25,159 --> 00:12:25,925
Just the straight ones.
228
00:12:26,125 --> 00:12:27,675
Not the curly ones,
them's mine.
229
00:12:27,875 --> 00:12:30,692
I don't want your stanky
ass hair on my head.
230
00:12:30,892 --> 00:12:33,709
Well, that's not
what you said last night.
231
00:12:33,909 --> 00:12:35,000
I was cold.
232
00:12:50,333 --> 00:12:52,550
Oh! I'm on the green!
233
00:12:52,750 --> 00:12:54,634
Putter, please.
- You hit the wall.
234
00:12:54,834 --> 00:12:56,834
No, no, no, no,
I hit the lampshade, Kyle.
235
00:12:57,034 --> 00:12:58,925
On the rebound!
Doesn't count!
236
00:12:59,125 --> 00:13:01,458
You gotta hit the wall again
before you're on the green.
237
00:13:01,658 --> 00:13:03,834
All right, step up then,
Kyle.
238
00:13:04,034 --> 00:13:06,050
Jack Nickl-ass.
239
00:13:06,250 --> 00:13:08,383
All right, all right.
240
00:13:08,583 --> 00:13:10,834
Watch and learn there, Tiger.
241
00:13:14,458 --> 00:13:16,834
Oh, lampshade!
Direct hit!
242
00:13:17,034 --> 00:13:18,083
Hole in one!
243
00:13:22,166 --> 00:13:23,649
Hi.
244
00:13:23,849 --> 00:13:25,133
What?
245
00:13:25,333 --> 00:13:27,333
I'm Hank Richler,
your new neighbor.
246
00:13:27,533 --> 00:13:28,759
New neighbor! Hi!
247
00:13:28,959 --> 00:13:30,417
So you have a welcome gift.
248
00:13:30,617 --> 00:13:31,883
Uh, no.
249
00:13:32,083 --> 00:13:34,000
I just moved in
this past weekend.
250
00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:35,383
Yesterday.
251
00:13:35,583 --> 00:13:38,834
I'm a writer.
Uh, I'm trying to be a writer.
252
00:13:39,034 --> 00:13:39,966
But I'm pretty quiet,
253
00:13:40,166 --> 00:13:43,542
so, uh, you don't
have to worry about me.
254
00:13:43,742 --> 00:13:45,041
Silence is goldy.
255
00:13:46,542 --> 00:13:48,008
Good, good.
Okay, well, um,
256
00:13:48,208 --> 00:13:50,375
if you need anything, you know,
just.
257
00:13:50,575 --> 00:13:53,000
Give me one of those.
258
00:13:55,792 --> 00:13:57,208
Thanks.
259
00:14:00,375 --> 00:14:02,504
Bye.
260
00:14:02,704 --> 00:14:04,634
Bye.
261
00:14:04,834 --> 00:14:05,966
Frickin' nosy neighbors!
262
00:14:06,166 --> 00:14:09,250
Kyle, we've got a big gig
tonight!
263
00:14:09,450 --> 00:14:11,500
Commence pre-show rituals!
264
00:14:12,959 --> 00:14:15,125
The ancients knew
that extreme hot or cold
265
00:14:15,325 --> 00:14:17,166
keened the performance edge.
266
00:14:17,366 --> 00:14:18,625
Switch!
267
00:14:21,125 --> 00:14:23,004
Comin' at you, buddy.
- Okay.
268
00:14:23,204 --> 00:14:25,083
I wish there was
room for two.
269
00:14:28,917 --> 00:14:31,458
- How you feeling?
- Oh, just great. Great.
270
00:14:35,250 --> 00:14:37,592
Stop whistling!
271
00:14:37,792 --> 00:14:41,000
One's mind must be focused
for maximum performance.
272
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:44,383
Okay, Kyle, just grab
an end of string,
273
00:14:44,583 --> 00:14:48,000
swallow it, and when
it comes out your butthole,
274
00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:50,417
it will have purified
your insides.
275
00:14:52,333 --> 00:14:54,417
"Meditatious" D.
276
00:15:06,959 --> 00:15:08,150
Jack.
277
00:15:08,350 --> 00:15:09,342
I know.
278
00:15:09,542 --> 00:15:10,883
- We--
- Kyle, I know!
279
00:15:11,083 --> 00:15:12,800
You weren't' supposed to use--
280
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,212
I thought you were--
Okay, come on.
281
00:15:15,412 --> 00:15:17,625
Let's go. Let's go!
Get the scissors.
282
00:15:20,208 --> 00:15:22,166
Stay still. Okay,
come on, crab walk.
283
00:15:22,366 --> 00:15:24,208
God damn it,
just stay with me.
284
00:15:24,408 --> 00:15:26,750
Okay, hold it.
Scissors.
285
00:15:26,950 --> 00:15:29,175
Got 'em.
286
00:15:29,375 --> 00:15:31,959
Okay.
287
00:15:40,166 --> 00:15:41,959
I'm trying to work in here!
288
00:15:42,159 --> 00:15:43,800
Shut up!
289
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:45,883
To draw on the energy
of the cosmos,
290
00:15:46,083 --> 00:15:49,834
one must open a conduit
to the heavens, i.e.--
291
00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:52,358
We need a skylight.
292
00:15:52,558 --> 00:15:54,166
Shut up in there!
293
00:15:54,366 --> 00:15:55,467
JB!
294
00:15:55,667 --> 00:15:56,675
Skylight!
295
00:15:56,875 --> 00:15:59,041
That's enough!
296
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:09,587
Oh, officer, uh, my goodness,
297
00:16:09,787 --> 00:16:11,675
Do-- what brings you here?
298
00:16:11,875 --> 00:16:13,467
We support our local police.
299
00:16:13,667 --> 00:16:15,650
Listen, we got a report
about noise.
300
00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:17,834
What the hell
is going on in here?
301
00:16:18,034 --> 00:16:18,800
We're just rehearsing.
302
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,045
Sounded like
you were pounding
303
00:16:20,245 --> 00:16:21,291
the hell out
of the ceiling.
304
00:16:21,491 --> 00:16:22,509
That's them, officer!
305
00:16:22,709 --> 00:16:24,213
I'm a writer!
I'm trying to write in here!
306
00:16:24,413 --> 00:16:25,917
They're making noise!
- All right, all right.
307
00:16:26,117 --> 00:16:27,133
Okay.
308
00:16:27,333 --> 00:16:29,417
Okay, can I tell you
our side of the story?
309
00:16:29,617 --> 00:16:31,008
Yeah, we're the victims.
310
00:16:31,208 --> 00:16:33,875
I'm glad you're here, because
I was just about to call you.
311
00:16:34,075 --> 00:16:36,834
Oh, really?
What's going on?
312
00:16:42,625 --> 00:16:44,133
A long time ago,
313
00:16:44,333 --> 00:16:47,083
me and my brother, Kyle, here,
314
00:16:47,283 --> 00:16:48,717
we were hitchhiking
315
00:16:48,917 --> 00:16:51,166
down a long and lonesome road.
316
00:17:01,208 --> 00:17:03,217
All of a sudden,
317
00:17:03,417 --> 00:17:06,588
there shined a shiny demon
318
00:17:06,788 --> 00:17:09,959
in the middle of the road.
319
00:17:10,159 --> 00:17:11,634
And he said,
320
00:17:11,834 --> 00:17:16,709
♪ Play the best song
in the world ♪
321
00:17:16,909 --> 00:17:18,583
♪ Or I'll eat your souls ♪
322
00:17:18,783 --> 00:17:20,250
♪ Souls ♪
323
00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:24,008
Well, me and Kyle,
324
00:17:24,208 --> 00:17:27,125
we looked at each other,
325
00:17:27,325 --> 00:17:29,166
and we each said--
326
00:17:29,366 --> 00:17:31,008
Okay.
327
00:17:31,208 --> 00:17:32,917
♪ And we played
the first thing ♪
328
00:17:33,117 --> 00:17:34,708
♪ That came to our heads ♪
329
00:17:34,908 --> 00:17:36,300
♪ Just so happened to be ♪
330
00:17:36,500 --> 00:17:38,634
♪ The best song
in the world ♪
331
00:17:38,834 --> 00:17:42,959
♪ It was the best song
in the world, oh ♪
332
00:17:43,159 --> 00:17:45,759
♪ Yeah ♪
333
00:17:45,959 --> 00:17:48,458
And it saved our butts.
334
00:17:50,959 --> 00:17:53,375
♪ Because the demon
want to kill us ♪
335
00:17:53,575 --> 00:17:57,425
♪ Oh ♪
336
00:17:57,625 --> 00:17:59,750
♪ But he was forced
to set us free ♪
337
00:17:59,950 --> 00:18:01,050
♪ By the honor code ♪
338
00:18:01,250 --> 00:18:04,837
♪ That demons
have to live by ♪
339
00:18:05,037 --> 00:18:08,293
♪ 'Cause it's Satan's ♪
340
00:18:08,493 --> 00:18:11,550
♪ Surprise and it's magic ♪
341
00:18:11,750 --> 00:18:14,834
♪ And it's a mystical
disguise ♪
342
00:18:16,625 --> 00:18:19,300
♪ Oh, the Devil's strong ♪
343
00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:22,550
♪ And it's tragic ♪
344
00:18:22,750 --> 00:18:27,166
♪ You are the
mystical-eyed virgin ♪
345
00:18:27,366 --> 00:18:28,875
♪ And you're rocking ♪
346
00:18:39,333 --> 00:18:41,608
Well, needless to say,
347
00:18:41,808 --> 00:18:43,883
the beast was stunned.
348
00:18:44,083 --> 00:18:46,458
♪ Whip crack
went his swampy tail ♪
349
00:18:46,658 --> 00:18:49,542
♪ And the beast was done ♪
350
00:18:49,742 --> 00:18:52,042
He asked us,
351
00:18:52,242 --> 00:18:53,979
"Be you angels?"
352
00:18:54,179 --> 00:18:55,717
And we said,
353
00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:58,542
"Nay, we are but men!"
354
00:18:58,742 --> 00:18:59,509
Rock!
355
00:18:59,709 --> 00:19:02,921
♪ Ah ♪
356
00:19:03,121 --> 00:19:05,523
♪ Whoa ♪
357
00:19:05,723 --> 00:19:07,678
♪ Whoa ♪
358
00:19:07,878 --> 00:19:09,634
♪ Oh, no ♪
359
00:19:09,834 --> 00:19:13,542
♪ This is not the greatest
song in the world ♪
360
00:19:13,742 --> 00:19:14,925
♪ No ♪
361
00:19:15,125 --> 00:19:17,375
♪ This is just a tribute ♪
362
00:19:19,250 --> 00:19:22,709
♪ Couldn't remember the
greatest song in the world ♪
363
00:19:22,909 --> 00:19:24,050
♪ No, no ♪
364
00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:27,542
♪ This is a tribute ♪
365
00:19:27,742 --> 00:19:29,217
♪ Oh ♪
366
00:19:29,417 --> 00:19:31,750
♪ To the greatest song
in the world ♪
367
00:19:31,950 --> 00:19:33,883
♪ All right ♪
368
00:19:34,083 --> 00:19:36,583
♪ To the greatest song
in the world ♪
369
00:19:36,783 --> 00:19:38,050
♪ All right ♪
370
00:19:38,250 --> 00:19:39,841
♪ This is the best
motherfuckin' song ♪
371
00:19:40,041 --> 00:19:42,542
♪ The greatest song
in the world, all right ♪
372
00:19:51,500 --> 00:19:52,750
♪ Satan ♪
373
00:19:56,375 --> 00:19:59,087
And the peculiar thing is this,
my friends,
374
00:19:59,287 --> 00:20:01,800
The song we played
on that fateful night
375
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,750
didn't actually sound anything
like this song!
376
00:20:04,950 --> 00:20:06,958
♪ This is just a tribute ♪
377
00:20:07,158 --> 00:20:08,966
♪ You gotta believe me ♪
378
00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:11,420
♪ And I wish you were there ♪
379
00:20:11,620 --> 00:20:13,875
♪ Just a matter of opinion ♪
380
00:20:14,075 --> 00:20:15,634
♪ Aw, fuck ♪
381
00:20:15,834 --> 00:20:17,634
♪ Good God, God lovin' ♪
382
00:20:17,834 --> 00:20:20,083
♪ So surprised to find
you can't stop it ♪
383
00:20:20,283 --> 00:20:22,333
♪ Oh, hallelujah, I'm found ♪
384
00:20:22,533 --> 00:20:24,583
♪ Rich motherfucker, aw ♪
385
00:20:45,959 --> 00:20:49,125
All right, I've heard enough.
386
00:20:50,792 --> 00:20:54,542
Listen, don't call us again
unless you have a good reason.
387
00:20:56,333 --> 00:20:59,000
But-- but--
388
00:21:00,500 --> 00:21:03,667
I'm a writer!
389
00:21:07,333 --> 00:21:09,125
Barely made it out
of that one, huh, Kage?
390
00:21:09,325 --> 00:21:11,229
Yeah, thanks
to our Rocket Sauce.
391
00:21:11,429 --> 00:21:13,333
Rocket Sauce
helps you rock out
392
00:21:13,533 --> 00:21:14,625
all day and night.
393
00:21:15,875 --> 00:21:17,375
Jack, are there
any side effects?
394
00:21:17,575 --> 00:21:18,634
You know, just the usual,
395
00:21:18,834 --> 00:21:21,000
you rock out and then you
itch like a motherfucker.
396
00:21:36,375 --> 00:21:38,525
♪ We ride with kings
on mighty steeds ♪
397
00:21:38,725 --> 00:21:40,675
♪ Across the Devil's Plain ♪
398
00:21:40,875 --> 00:21:42,983
♪ We've walked with Jesus
and his cross ♪
399
00:21:43,183 --> 00:21:44,887
♪ He did not die in vain, no ♪
400
00:21:45,087 --> 00:21:46,592
♪ Kyle's fingers be silver ♪
401
00:21:46,792 --> 00:21:48,067
♪ Jack's voice,
then, be gold ♪
402
00:21:48,267 --> 00:21:49,542
♪ But lest you think ♪
403
00:21:49,742 --> 00:21:51,050
♪ We're vain ♪
404
00:21:51,250 --> 00:21:52,875
♪ We know it's pay cable
but we don't care ♪
405
00:21:53,075 --> 00:21:54,050
♪ Tenacious D ♪
406
00:21:54,250 --> 00:21:55,750
♪ We reign ♪
27609
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.