All language subtitles for In Treatment (2008) - S02E35 - Gina Week Seven (1080p HMAX WEB-DL x265 Silence)_Eng

PHONE MACHINE VOICE:
You have no messages.

Oh, God, Paul.

If you're not coming,
couldn't you just call

and tell me you're not coming?

DR. GINA TOLL: Paul.

Oh, hi. Are you--
Are you going out?

-Well.
-You look-- You look great.

Thank you.

Well, I'd um, I'd ask you uh,
where you were going,

but I know
that you have your boundaries

-as a therapist, so...

Look, I hate to do this.

I hate it when my patients do it
but...

I've asked my lawyer to call me
about the hearing.

And uh, I'd rather be here.

-If it's bad news, okay?
-Sure.

I was so relieved
that you didn't ask

-for the letter.
-Decided not to send it.

Yeah, I was-- I was having lunch
with uh,

with the kids last Sunday
and Rosie actually asked me

about the case.

And, uh, I told her
about the settlement offer,

and she said,
"Dad, you can't do this.

You can't confess to something
you-- you didn't do.

You're the good guy."
And she'd been so rude to me

all night about--
about other stuff, I guess.

I guess she's still angry
about the divorce.

And then suddenly
in one sentence

she made me feel better
than I'd felt all week.

Oh, I'm glad.

So, then I called my lawyer and,
uh, I said I wasn't interested

in-- in the settlement.

Which meant they went through
with the hearing this morning.

-And so how did that go?
-I don't know yet.

I wasn't there.

Uh, the lawyer said technically,
I-- I didn't have to be.

-You didn't go?
-I overslept.

And why do you think you chose
this morning to oversleep?

Oh, yeah, the, uh,
the subconscious thing, yeah.

Probably
because I didn't want to go.

And, uh,
I just didn't feel like begging

some judge
to let me keep my job.

You felt showing up
would be begging?

I don't know.

So why are you dressed up?

I want to hear about your life.

-You wanna hear about my life?
-Mm.

You don't want to talk
about your own life?

Exactly.

I'd rather talk
about how your lawyer felt

the hearing went.
Did he say anything?

Yeah, he said not to quote him.

Uh, 'cause these guys hate
to be quoted, but...

he said that he thought,

that it went--
that it went well.

Did he say
when you'd find out?

Mm, I don't know
anytime between today,

God knows when.

So you're in limbo.

Caught between heaven and hell,
waiting for my fate

to be decided. Yeah.

That must be
what this whole year

has felt like to you.

You've been
under enormous pressure.

Yeah.

Is that why you dressed up?

That blue looks really,
really good on you.

It's the same color
as the dress you had on

that night I saw you
and David coming out

of that country club
on the Eastern shore.

-It's 4th of July.
-I do remember.

I had this
crummy summer job.

-And I was, uh,

I was parking cars.

And, uh, I brought out
the wrong car.

And he asked me to go back
and get his convertible.

I looked at him and I thought,

"Of course, why wouldn't she be
with him?"

Yeah, we had a wonderful dinner
and we danced.

And then, then we came outside
and there was my most

dedicated graduate student.

We were all so in love with you.

Oh, don't be silly.

-Well, how could we not be?

You were brilliant.

And we believed,
we believed everything you said.

What are you talking about?
You argued with everything

-that I said.
-Yeah, but you made us do that.

That was your technique.

We were so fascinated by you.

We wanted to know everything
about you.

What-- what's happening
with you today, Paul?

What is it
you don't wanna talk about?

What happened here
between us last week...

or your case, or your patients,
your children?

No, none of the above.

-Can you tell me what it is?

-It's my lawyer.
-Hmm.

You-- you sure you want me
to stay?

No, please.

-Hello, Ellis.

ELLIS: I just spoke
with your judge.

I've got news.

DR. PAUL WESTON:
What sort of news?

ELLIS: First off, he was livid.

-At me?
-ELLIS: No.

At Mr. Prince,
for wasting everybody's time.

The judge hasn't written
the ruling yet,

and he said not to quote him.

But there are no
tri-able issues of fact.

-What?
-ELLIS: He said,

it's a tragic story,

but he's going to dismiss
the action.

He's throwing the case out.

Uh, are you saying it's over,
Ellis?

ELLIS: I'm glad for you.
I know this thing was a weight.

Thank you so much, you know.

I-- I-- I really appreciate
what--

everything that you've done.

And, look, I know,
I haven't been

the easiest person in the world
to deal with,

but I just wanted to say,
thank you.

ELLIS: Uh, nobody's nice,
when they're being sued.

The important thing is justice
was served.

Come see me next week.
We'll go over it.

But tonight you go out
and celebrate.

-Do you hear me?
-Yeah. Thanks, Ellis. Goodbye.

-I'm so happy for you.
-Oh, my God, it's amazing.

I'm so glad this judge
could see what the truth was.

How long do you think,
it's gonna be before I really,

before I really feel it?

Before you wake up some morning
not thinking about it?

Or not go to bed some night
without thinking about it.

It's so great.

Now you know
you can keep your practice.

What are you gonna do?

You were in limbo
about that last week as well.

How did you do
with your patients this week?

Was it hard for you to see them?

Well, I did what you said.

I-- I acted as--
as if I believed,

I really was helping.

-And did that help?
-Well,

to be honest, I was, I was kind
of skeptical at first.

I-- I-- I felt a bit
like a hypocrite.

And that they'd--
they'd see that.

Yeah, of course,
you'd feel that way.

But then, weirdly enough,
something started to happen.

I-- I was talking
to Oliver's dad

about the responsibility of,

you know,
what it means to be a father

and keeping in touch with your--
with your kid.

Really, I was talking
for both of us.

But I think, I reached him.

I mean, I--
I was still doubting myself,

but I-- I-- I just--
I just kept at it, you know?

I just couldn't believe
that something so simple

could actually,
could actually work.

And-- and it--
and it kept working, you know?

I know. You're a good therapist.

And I'm sure you did a lot
of good work this week,

despite how uncertain you felt.

April...

-April left.
-Therapy?

-Why?
-Well, in part because, uh,

because I took her to chemo.

I don't regret it, but it did...

-alter our relationship.
-Of course.

But also she--
I think, she just needed

to stop thinking about herself.

She, uh, she wanted some space.

She wanted to breathe,

-to live.
-Mm-hm.

And did you try to convince her
to stay?

Oh, of course I did.

I'm worried
that she doesn't have the tools

to survive another crisis.

But part of me, I have to say,
is really proud of her.

For rejecting you?

For rejecting therapy.

I meant, for acting out
against you.

That's not what she was doing,
though.

She-- she wasn't--
she wasn't punishing me,

or-- or-- or her parents.
She's fighting cancer.

She needs all of her energy
for that.

-You were able to accept that?
-I was surprised by, uh,

by reaction.

I know that I have this--
this need to rescue.

But I really understood
her reasoning,

completely.

You know, Walter and--
and-- and April,

they both think that the world
is supposed to be...

on their shoulders, and,
and they're both incapable of--

of-- of receiving support.

One's stopping therapy,
the other wants,

-the other wants more sessions.
-So you're going to continue.

You know
what I realized this week?

Practicing this way,
I may never know

whether I help people or not.

It's not like I'm trying to get
them to pass their driving test

or do better on their SATs
or something.

The only measure
I have of whether I'm helping

somebody or not,

is how my patients feel
about it.

And how their lives go on from--
from there.

And they won't know that
until long after

-we've stopped therapy.
-What are you saying, Paul?

I guess what I'm trying to say
is that these people come to me,

they want me
to fix their problems.

And the truth is,
I think all I can do

is just walk with them
for a while,

keep them company
during a rough patch.

I don't think anybody's life
can be figured out.

But it is in our nature to keep,

to keep trying to make sense
of it.

And sometimes we can use help.

That's when, if we're lucky,
there's somebody in the room,

who can-- who can listen.

It doesn't have to be
somebody perfect.

Somebody sufficiently screwed up

to actually get
what we might be going through.

Someone like you.

-On occasion.
-And not someone like me.

No, Gina. Not for me.

Not anymore.

Oh.

W-- when did you come
to this conclusion?

I don't know.

Please don't take
this personally, Gina.

No, no, no.

I'm not-- I'm not, um...

No, I'm not taking it
personally.

I, um...
You know I'm just, uh...

I'm just disappointed
that we're here again.

I know.

I know.

-But it is different this time.
-Hm.

- I'm not doing this in anger.
-Mmm-hmm.

And I appreciate everything
that you've done for me.

I-- I-- I want you
to know that.

-Thank you.
-Well, let's not drag it out,

you know.

After last week, really,
what is there to say?

I understand.
I-- I just want to be sure

you're aware
of why you're doing

-what you're doing.
-What is it you think

I'm not aware of?

Well, obviously,
last week took a toll,

a big toll, you know,
on-- on both of us, and...

I know that I crossed a line.

But you also lost two patients
this week.

-I know.
-Well, has it occurred to you

that you're angry at them
for abandoning you

and that may be
why you've decided

to abandon me?

That's a little reductive,
isn't it?

No, but this is,

you began the week
questioning your value

as a therapist,
and you're ending it

-questioning mine.
-I'm not questioning you.

I'm questioning the way
we interact, you and I.

I don't think it's healthy for--
for-- for either of us.

You're always questioning me.
Blaming me.

I think I've come to represent

everything you struggle with
in your work.

Emotional restraint,
delayed gratification,

not indulging your love
or your desire for a patient.

You've made me
your boundary cop.

You know, the mentor,
who's prevented you

from having anything
you ever wanted.

And I beat you up for that.

It must have been exhausting

to have to play my mother
all these years.

If I came running to you,

it was because I--
I needed my mother.

If was angry at you,

it was because I was angry
at my mother.

Honestly, I-- I don't know
how you put up with it.

But you did.
And you got me through it.

All I'm saying is,
you don't have to do it anymore.

-You're releasing me now.
-Yes.

Yes, I am.

You know, Paul,

if you need to go, you go.

But I'm concerned
that you may be punishing me

because I failed to protect you.

But you didn't--
you didn't fail me, Gina.

Th-- Th--
This-- this has been my--

my sanctuary.
All the parts of myself

that I don't like,
that I'm ashamed of,

I could bring them here,
and it was always okay.

Do you think
there's a connection

between the lawsuit ending
and your stopping therapy?

No, no. It's just time.

The things I needed for so long
have changed.

I can't keep coming to you
for...

for the mothering
I-- I-- I didn't get,

and you shouldn't have
to provide it.

So you're not running away
from home?

I'd rather think of it
as moving out.

I'm-- I'm going to make my way
in the world.

-Where will you go?
-I'm not going anywhere.

I'm still going to keep being
a therapist.

Maybe not all private sessions.

Some days I just sit there
in the room with a patient

and I feel like...

I don't know,
I feel like we're two mice

with our legs caught
in a glue trap.

Oh, God.

Oh, it's,
it's a horrible feeling.

Maybe it's the chair.

I hate that fucking chair.

Oh, you could get a new one.

I did.
It felt good in the store.

But here's the thing
about a chair.

You never really, really know

until you've sat in it
for 40 hours a week,

for a month.
Month in, month out.

By then it's too late.

Do you want to practice
standing up?

Maybe.

Maybe I need to be
in a-- a group practice,

so at least,
when a patient leaves

I could go into the lounge
and run into some other people

and talk about politics or books
or anything, for Christ's sake.

Have you thought
about supervising?

I'm n-- I don't think I'm--

I'm at a role-model place
in my life right now, Gina.

No, I think you'd be
a good supervisor.

I mean, you'd have compassion
for your students.

And the more
a supervisor has seen,

the more valuable he can be.

I'm fairly certain at this point

that no case would shock
or surprise you.

And that would make
a young therapist feel

-very safe.
-Maybe you're right.

The one thing
I have figured out,

I just need to be
with more people.

I do-- I don't need a break
from being a therapist.

I--

I need a break from--

Just from this.

You know, I need to stop
analyzing my life.

I need to start living it.

I need you to let me go.

Well, part of me would love to.

I just worry about the timing.

You're still in mourning.
You're alone. You're isolated.

You-- you don't have a-- a life
outside of your practice.

Are you talking about me
or you, Gina?

I'm talking about you.

Did something else happen
this week?

-What do you mean?
-I mean, did you meet someone?

-Why do you think that?
-I don't know.

I did have a conversation
this week

while I was...
...I was waiting for a coffee.

And I was on my way
to the subway,

and, um,

she-- she was on her way
to the gym.

What did you talk about?

I told her
she looked like a runner.

She said, "That's the best part
about running."

And then I said,

"Do you know this book,
The Memory of Running"?

-I don't know it.
-And neither did she, but,

it was-- it was just great

to stand there
and just talk to her.

-About a book, you know?
-Hm.

I got so excited,
I-- I-- I ruined it for her.

-I-- I told her the whole story.
-What's the book about?

It's about redemption, I--
I suppose.

And did you make a plan
to see this woman again?

Her name is Wendy.
We live on the same block.

I'm sure we'll run
into each other again.

-And you?
-Me what?

-Do you have a date tonight?

Is that why you're wearing
that dress?

-I do.
-I knew it.

So, so who's the lucky guy?

Right. Boundaries

Until the bitter end.

You're an excellent therapist,
Gina.

I never would have survived
without you.

-Thank you.

Um...

-Yeah?
-Paul, this is the point where,

you know, I'm supposed to say,
"My door is always open" but,

I'm not going to say that.

I understand.

So...

our time is up.

Good luck.