All language subtitles for Gortimer Gibbons Life On Normal Street S02E20 Gortimer vs the Worlds Best Mom 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-DarkSaber_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,485 --> 00:00:10,010 Gortimer, narrating: I've lived my whole life on Normal Street. 2 00:00:10,097 --> 00:00:12,012 There's a lake at one end 3 00:00:12,099 --> 00:00:14,318 and a forest of shady trees at the other. 4 00:00:14,405 --> 00:00:16,973 But what lies in between 5 00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:19,149 is anything but normal. 6 00:00:25,764 --> 00:00:27,810 It's human nature to want to take care 7 00:00:27,897 --> 00:00:29,246 of the people around us. 8 00:00:29,333 --> 00:00:31,031 We try to do all we can 9 00:00:31,118 --> 00:00:33,120 to make their lives as complete as possible. 10 00:00:34,860 --> 00:00:37,994 But we can't do everything. 11 00:00:38,081 --> 00:00:40,823 And sometimes, the more we try to do, 12 00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:43,130 the less we actually achieve. 13 00:00:47,656 --> 00:00:49,658 Right. Mm-hmm. 14 00:00:49,745 --> 00:00:51,616 Oh. Of course. 15 00:00:51,703 --> 00:00:54,445 There's an incredibly strong narrative voice here. 16 00:00:54,532 --> 00:00:55,751 - Right. - [humming] 17 00:00:55,838 --> 00:00:57,231 Well, the issues that I see 18 00:00:57,318 --> 00:01:00,408 have mostly to do with, um, with pacing 19 00:01:00,495 --> 00:01:02,192 in the later chapters. Right. 20 00:01:02,279 --> 00:01:03,802 And making sure the ambiguous resolve-- 21 00:01:03,889 --> 00:01:07,067 which, by the way, I love-- 22 00:01:07,154 --> 00:01:08,329 - is fully earned. - Mommy, look. 23 00:01:08,416 --> 00:01:09,591 Mommy, look. 24 00:01:09,678 --> 00:01:13,029 [chanting] Mommy. Mommy. Mommy. 25 00:01:13,116 --> 00:01:14,813 - Mommy. - For sure. 26 00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:17,512 - Mommy. - Hey, Mom, where's my cactus shirt? 27 00:01:17,599 --> 00:01:20,297 That sounds great. I look forward to working with you, too. 28 00:01:20,384 --> 00:01:21,690 Bye-bye. 29 00:01:23,257 --> 00:01:24,736 Could you just, please? 30 00:01:25,824 --> 00:01:26,825 Okay. 31 00:01:26,912 --> 00:01:28,349 What is the rule 32 00:01:28,436 --> 00:01:30,002 when Mommy's on the phone? 33 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:31,569 - That goes for you, too. - Sorry. 34 00:01:31,656 --> 00:01:33,354 - Was that? - It was. 35 00:01:33,441 --> 00:01:35,225 - And? - I got it. 36 00:01:35,312 --> 00:01:36,748 No! My mom's going to be working 37 00:01:36,835 --> 00:01:38,010 with a bestselling author! 38 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,273 You're amazing. 39 00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:40,970 Well, okay it is only on a trial basis. 40 00:01:41,057 --> 00:01:43,755 I have one week to finish my notes on his manuscript. 41 00:01:43,842 --> 00:01:45,975 If he likes my work, we'll make it official. 42 00:01:46,062 --> 00:01:47,542 Of course he's going to like your work. 43 00:01:47,629 --> 00:01:49,587 Fingers crossed. That does mean 44 00:01:49,674 --> 00:01:52,024 I will have no social life for the next week. 45 00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:53,896 Oh, Adam is going to be so bummed. 46 00:01:53,983 --> 00:01:55,767 We were supposed to go to that jazz festival. 47 00:01:55,854 --> 00:01:56,768 Ow. 48 00:01:56,855 --> 00:01:58,030 What is it? 49 00:01:59,945 --> 00:02:02,644 Ooh. Looks like a little splinter. 50 00:02:02,731 --> 00:02:03,949 How did you get that? 51 00:02:04,036 --> 00:02:05,864 Here, let me get my-- my tweezers. 52 00:02:05,951 --> 00:02:08,258 - Where did I put them? - [oven bell dings] 53 00:02:08,345 --> 00:02:09,303 Oh. 54 00:02:12,784 --> 00:02:13,785 Ooh. 55 00:02:13,872 --> 00:02:15,396 Is it a special occasion? 56 00:02:15,483 --> 00:02:16,745 Only the bake sale you and Ranger 57 00:02:16,832 --> 00:02:18,050 have been talking about all month. 58 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,748 For the animal shelter. 59 00:02:19,835 --> 00:02:21,010 Yes. Did you forget? 60 00:02:22,838 --> 00:02:24,840 What? What's wrong? 61 00:02:24,927 --> 00:02:27,147 No. Nothing. It's just the bake sale's next week. 62 00:02:27,234 --> 00:02:28,583 But-- But that's okay. 63 00:02:28,670 --> 00:02:30,411 I'm sure the cake will be just as good then. 64 00:02:30,498 --> 00:02:33,153 Probably better. Besides, it's for homeless animals. 65 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:34,893 - Who's going to complain? - Gortimer, stop, please. 66 00:02:34,980 --> 00:02:37,331 It's fine. I'll just-- I'll make another one. 67 00:02:37,418 --> 00:02:39,159 Oh, no, no, no. We're late for preschool. 68 00:02:39,246 --> 00:02:40,421 Come on, buddy. Let's go. 69 00:02:40,508 --> 00:02:41,422 Oh. Bye, guys. 70 00:02:41,509 --> 00:02:42,771 - Bye. - See you soon. 71 00:02:43,989 --> 00:02:45,774 Come on, sweetie. Let's go. 72 00:02:45,861 --> 00:02:47,036 Ow. 73 00:02:47,123 --> 00:02:48,690 Oh. Oh, no. Your splinter. 74 00:02:48,777 --> 00:02:51,040 Sorry, honey. Come on. 75 00:02:51,127 --> 00:02:53,390 Don't wanna go. 76 00:02:56,088 --> 00:02:59,222 Sorry. I'm late. 77 00:02:59,309 --> 00:03:02,138 Crazy morning, and then there was lane close on Topeka-- 78 00:03:02,225 --> 00:03:04,314 It's so hard to get out of the door with the little ones. 79 00:03:04,401 --> 00:03:05,228 Yeah. 80 00:03:05,315 --> 00:03:08,057 Even with these guys dressing themselves. 81 00:03:16,544 --> 00:03:19,460 Oh, uh, before I forget, would you like to sign up 82 00:03:19,547 --> 00:03:22,245 for the Mommy and Me pickling class this Tuesday? 83 00:03:22,332 --> 00:03:24,552 The kids love it because you get to eat your project. 84 00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:28,382 Oh, how fun. Do you happen to have a weekend class? 85 00:03:28,469 --> 00:03:30,079 It's just because of work and everything. 86 00:03:30,166 --> 00:03:31,515 Oh. We found a lot of people 87 00:03:31,602 --> 00:03:33,300 were having family time on the weekends, 88 00:03:33,387 --> 00:03:35,171 so there wasn't enough interest. 89 00:03:35,258 --> 00:03:36,520 I'm sorry. 90 00:03:36,607 --> 00:03:38,435 Uh, it's fine. 91 00:03:38,522 --> 00:03:41,656 Are you staying for the circle sing-along? 92 00:03:43,701 --> 00:03:47,314 Oh, uh, I wish I could. I just-- 93 00:03:48,445 --> 00:03:50,578 Uh, have a great day. 94 00:03:50,665 --> 00:03:51,840 Okay, buddy? 95 00:03:51,927 --> 00:03:52,841 I love you. 96 00:03:52,928 --> 00:03:53,929 Bye, Mom. 97 00:03:54,016 --> 00:03:55,104 Come on, little buddy. 98 00:03:55,191 --> 00:03:56,148 Let's blow bubbles. 99 00:03:59,151 --> 00:04:00,979 Everyone wants puppies and kittens, 100 00:04:01,066 --> 00:04:03,547 but people discriminate against older animals. 101 00:04:03,634 --> 00:04:05,375 I had no idea they had it that bad. 102 00:04:05,462 --> 00:04:06,985 Yeah. It's a problem. 103 00:04:07,072 --> 00:04:09,205 But you know, I'm starting to see myself 104 00:04:09,292 --> 00:04:10,815 as a champion for the underdog. 105 00:04:10,902 --> 00:04:12,817 See you. 106 00:04:12,904 --> 00:04:14,297 Bye, Ranger. 107 00:04:14,384 --> 00:04:15,342 See you. 108 00:04:16,778 --> 00:04:17,779 [yawn] 109 00:04:17,866 --> 00:04:19,215 [door closes] 110 00:04:19,302 --> 00:04:20,738 Long day? 111 00:04:20,825 --> 00:04:23,915 Oh, yeah. And it isn't over yet. 112 00:04:24,002 --> 00:04:26,004 Come on, buddy. It's time for your bath. 113 00:04:26,091 --> 00:04:28,224 No bath. No bath. 114 00:04:28,311 --> 00:04:30,008 Gardner, don't start this. 115 00:04:30,095 --> 00:04:34,317 [chanting] No bath. No bath. No bath. No bath. 116 00:04:34,404 --> 00:04:36,145 - Come on. - I don't want to. 117 00:04:36,232 --> 00:04:37,668 Let's go. [grunt] 118 00:04:39,148 --> 00:04:41,150 I don't want to. 119 00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:53,945 "Call 911 because you're phoning it in." 120 00:04:54,032 --> 00:04:55,207 [chuckle] 121 00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:57,035 "You do enough to get by, 122 00:04:57,122 --> 00:04:59,081 "but you're easily overwhelmed. 123 00:04:59,168 --> 00:05:01,562 Mac 'n cheese? Pa-lease." 124 00:05:01,649 --> 00:05:02,780 "Mediocre Mommy"? 125 00:05:02,867 --> 00:05:04,521 Huh. 126 00:05:04,608 --> 00:05:06,523 Who comes up with this garbage? 127 00:05:08,612 --> 00:05:10,527 She doesn't need to be reading this. 128 00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:17,491 Did you see how high Ella got when she blocked Julie? 129 00:05:17,578 --> 00:05:19,319 And did you see her jump serve? 130 00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:20,972 She has crazy hops. 131 00:05:25,455 --> 00:05:27,675 Since when are you wearing make-up to school? 132 00:05:27,762 --> 00:05:31,113 Ever since these freckles started invading my face. 133 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:33,289 Oh. But yours are cute. 134 00:05:38,990 --> 00:05:40,078 I don't get it. 135 00:05:40,165 --> 00:05:41,384 It's meta. 136 00:05:41,471 --> 00:05:42,994 No, I'm pretty sure it's a bowl. 137 00:05:43,081 --> 00:05:44,213 What do you think of this? 138 00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:46,868 Think she'll like it? 139 00:05:46,955 --> 00:05:48,043 It's your mom's birthday? 140 00:05:48,130 --> 00:05:49,653 No, no. It's not her birthday. 141 00:05:49,740 --> 00:05:51,394 I just want to do something special for her. 142 00:05:51,481 --> 00:05:53,527 She's been kind of overwhelmed lately. 143 00:05:53,614 --> 00:05:56,312 She'll love it, even though it is very literal. 144 00:06:01,230 --> 00:06:04,320 Cool. "This is not a bowl." 145 00:06:04,407 --> 00:06:06,453 Meta. Nice. 146 00:06:06,540 --> 00:06:08,672 $6.00. 147 00:06:08,759 --> 00:06:10,500 And 40 bucks. 148 00:06:10,587 --> 00:06:12,023 For a mug? 149 00:06:12,110 --> 00:06:14,330 Yeah. Well, it's part of our very special 150 00:06:14,417 --> 00:06:16,114 Albanian Matriarch Collection. 151 00:06:16,201 --> 00:06:18,508 It's, uh, super rare. 152 00:06:21,337 --> 00:06:23,078 The bank of Lake Pogradec 153 00:06:23,165 --> 00:06:25,385 is home to a very fine clay 154 00:06:25,472 --> 00:06:27,735 that only appears when the moon is full-- 155 00:06:27,822 --> 00:06:29,476 [howling] 156 00:06:29,563 --> 00:06:32,957 ...and the frogs near the lake cease their croaking. 157 00:06:33,044 --> 00:06:35,003 The clay is taken to the home 158 00:06:35,090 --> 00:06:36,961 of the oldest woman in the village, 159 00:06:37,048 --> 00:06:40,182 where it remains for 70 long years. 160 00:06:40,269 --> 00:06:42,445 At the end of the 70 years, 161 00:06:42,532 --> 00:06:45,535 the youngest girl in the village gathers the clay. 162 00:06:49,452 --> 00:06:52,803 She keeps it for another 70 years. 163 00:06:52,890 --> 00:06:55,023 - As they wait for-- - Ranger: Another 70 years? 164 00:06:55,110 --> 00:06:56,372 We don't have time for this. 165 00:06:56,459 --> 00:06:58,809 Right. Handle with care, 166 00:06:58,896 --> 00:07:00,681 if you know what I mean. 167 00:07:11,996 --> 00:07:13,171 You're up early. 168 00:07:13,258 --> 00:07:14,869 Good morning. 169 00:07:14,956 --> 00:07:17,785 Mexican vanilla latte for Madame. 170 00:07:17,872 --> 00:07:20,744 [chuckling] Gortimer, this is so sweet. 171 00:07:20,831 --> 00:07:23,051 Actually, it's just instant coffee. 172 00:07:23,138 --> 00:07:25,532 "World's Best Mom." 173 00:07:25,619 --> 00:07:27,316 Wait. Did you make this? 174 00:07:27,403 --> 00:07:29,840 Well, I know you've been kind of busy lately, so-- 175 00:07:29,927 --> 00:07:33,453 Mm. This means a lot to me. 176 00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:35,542 Thank you for being so thoughtful. 177 00:07:35,629 --> 00:07:37,718 I'm going to go get ready for school. 178 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:06,224 I made you whole grain pancakes. 179 00:08:06,311 --> 00:08:09,750 Well, dig in. You're a growing boy. 180 00:08:14,929 --> 00:08:17,235 Shakespeare's use of literary devices 181 00:08:17,322 --> 00:08:19,673 was extremely deliberate, as you can see in-- 182 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:21,022 [bell rings] 183 00:08:21,109 --> 00:08:22,763 We'll pick this up next week. 184 00:08:22,850 --> 00:08:24,286 Homework on my desk, please. 185 00:08:29,204 --> 00:08:30,901 Oh, no. 186 00:08:30,988 --> 00:08:31,902 - No, no, no, no. - What? 187 00:08:31,989 --> 00:08:32,947 My homework. 188 00:08:33,034 --> 00:08:34,252 I left it on my desk at home. 189 00:08:34,339 --> 00:08:36,211 I'm so sunk. Ms. Francis! 190 00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:41,042 I kind of left my essay at home. 191 00:08:41,129 --> 00:08:42,304 I'm really sorry. 192 00:08:42,391 --> 00:08:44,480 - Oh. I have your essay. - You do? 193 00:08:44,567 --> 00:08:46,308 Your mom dropped it off earlier. 194 00:08:46,395 --> 00:08:48,092 She also brought me an apple 195 00:08:48,179 --> 00:08:49,964 and an apple pie. 196 00:08:50,051 --> 00:08:51,705 She's an inspiration. 197 00:08:53,968 --> 00:08:55,056 That's weird. 198 00:08:55,143 --> 00:08:57,058 Not weird. It's really nice. 199 00:08:57,145 --> 00:08:58,799 You should appreciate your mother more. 200 00:09:04,108 --> 00:09:05,827 Do these animals look sad enough? 201 00:09:05,827 --> 00:09:08,417 I mean, we want them to be pretty sad 202 00:09:08,504 --> 00:09:10,158 so that people buy cakes, 203 00:09:10,245 --> 00:09:11,812 but we don't want them to look so sad 204 00:09:11,899 --> 00:09:13,596 that the people lose their appetites. 205 00:09:13,683 --> 00:09:15,076 It is a fine line. 206 00:09:16,512 --> 00:09:17,948 This is incredible. 207 00:09:18,035 --> 00:09:19,297 Your comics are organized 208 00:09:19,384 --> 00:09:21,865 by primary and ancillary superpower. 209 00:09:21,952 --> 00:09:23,998 And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Check this out. 210 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:29,394 I don't believe it. Your socks have been Roy G. Bivved. 211 00:09:29,481 --> 00:09:32,049 Right? Who knew I had so much indigo? 212 00:09:32,136 --> 00:09:34,399 - Where'd you get that? - Mel: I love it. 213 00:09:34,486 --> 00:09:36,880 Good, because my mom made one for each of you. 214 00:09:36,967 --> 00:09:38,665 How does she have time to do all that? 215 00:09:38,752 --> 00:09:40,405 Isn't she on a deadline? 216 00:09:40,492 --> 00:09:42,190 I don't know. Ever since I gave her that mug, 217 00:09:42,277 --> 00:09:44,279 she's been the world's best mom. 218 00:09:44,366 --> 00:09:46,586 Take that, Lady 365. 219 00:09:46,673 --> 00:09:48,326 What are you talking about? 220 00:09:48,413 --> 00:09:49,458 Oh. 221 00:09:57,335 --> 00:10:00,077 [chuckle] "Mediocre Mommy"? 222 00:10:00,164 --> 00:10:04,473 Wow. Good job with the positive reinforcement, Lady 365. 223 00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:07,041 Who even reads this? 224 00:10:13,003 --> 00:10:14,875 I'll recycle it for you. 225 00:10:14,962 --> 00:10:16,528 Yoo-hoo! 226 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:19,662 I made you guys some seven grain cookies. 227 00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:22,317 Oh. And, Gortimer, 228 00:10:22,404 --> 00:10:24,275 can you remember to check the chore wheel? 229 00:10:24,362 --> 00:10:26,582 You were supposed to start a compost pile. 230 00:10:26,669 --> 00:10:27,931 We have a chore wheel? 231 00:10:28,018 --> 00:10:29,280 You have a compost pile? 232 00:10:29,367 --> 00:10:32,849 We would if Gortimer had started one. 233 00:10:32,936 --> 00:10:33,850 [scoff] 234 00:10:35,983 --> 00:10:37,854 [blender whirring] 235 00:10:40,552 --> 00:10:43,207 Kale, radish, and quinoa. 236 00:10:48,169 --> 00:10:49,910 - [gulp] - Mm. 237 00:11:12,193 --> 00:11:13,673 What am I going to do? 238 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:15,500 She went from the world's best mom 239 00:11:15,587 --> 00:11:17,154 to the world's most annoying mom. 240 00:11:17,241 --> 00:11:18,765 [knocking] 241 00:11:18,852 --> 00:11:20,680 Hey, guys. Gortimer, your mom called. 242 00:11:20,767 --> 00:11:23,291 Said to get home right away. It's "GST"? 243 00:11:24,771 --> 00:11:25,946 What is that? 244 00:11:26,033 --> 00:11:27,599 Gibbon Silent Time. 245 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,906 She wants all the Gibbons to meditate together. 246 00:11:29,993 --> 00:11:31,691 She's even got Adam doing it. 247 00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:33,431 See you later. 248 00:11:33,518 --> 00:11:35,346 Bye, Gortimer. 249 00:11:35,433 --> 00:11:36,783 What are you looking for? 250 00:11:36,870 --> 00:11:38,219 Aha. 251 00:11:38,306 --> 00:11:39,263 Lipstick? 252 00:11:41,613 --> 00:11:43,050 What's going on? 253 00:11:43,137 --> 00:11:44,965 I'm 14, 254 00:11:45,052 --> 00:11:47,141 and the only make-up I own is from a place 255 00:11:47,228 --> 00:11:48,969 that you guys bought me three years ago. 256 00:11:49,056 --> 00:11:50,448 Yeah, I'm okay with that. 257 00:11:50,535 --> 00:11:52,799 I have to start wearing make-up. 258 00:11:52,886 --> 00:11:54,409 I see. You have to. 259 00:11:54,496 --> 00:11:56,585 And who exactly made that rule? 260 00:11:56,672 --> 00:11:57,717 - [scoff] - Well, 261 00:11:57,804 --> 00:11:59,675 in any case, you do wear make-up. 262 00:11:59,762 --> 00:12:01,546 Yeah, on special occasions, 263 00:12:01,633 --> 00:12:03,200 not every day. 264 00:12:03,287 --> 00:12:05,246 I'm tired of looking like a kid. 265 00:12:05,333 --> 00:12:07,378 But, honey, you are a kid. 266 00:12:07,465 --> 00:12:08,771 You don't get it. 267 00:12:15,125 --> 00:12:16,257 [humming] 268 00:12:16,344 --> 00:12:18,172 Ah-ah-ah. 269 00:12:18,259 --> 00:12:21,479 You're not stacking according to the chart. 270 00:12:21,566 --> 00:12:24,569 Mug after bowl, that is not your goal. 271 00:12:24,656 --> 00:12:28,312 But bowl after mug, and you get a hug. 272 00:12:28,399 --> 00:12:30,619 Why don't we just use the dishwasher? 273 00:12:30,706 --> 00:12:32,186 Wait. Don't tell me. 274 00:12:32,273 --> 00:12:34,579 Blah blah blah, successful adult. 275 00:12:34,666 --> 00:12:37,800 I know you're being facetious, 276 00:12:37,887 --> 00:12:39,236 but you're right. 277 00:12:40,890 --> 00:12:42,413 Mug after bowl, that's not my-- 278 00:12:53,903 --> 00:12:56,210 [vacuum running] 279 00:13:01,868 --> 00:13:03,695 ♪♪[rock playing in headphones] 280 00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,699 Mom. 281 00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,136 - Mom! - Aah! 282 00:13:09,223 --> 00:13:11,181 - Oh. - [vacuum off] 283 00:13:11,268 --> 00:13:13,444 I just discovered a super-quick way 284 00:13:13,531 --> 00:13:14,924 to pick up Gardner's toys. 285 00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:17,753 Right? 286 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:19,233 Ha ha. 287 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:21,235 Wait. Why are you up so early? 288 00:13:21,322 --> 00:13:22,671 It's not early. It's late. 289 00:13:22,758 --> 00:13:24,064 My alarm clock was unplugged. 290 00:13:24,151 --> 00:13:25,717 Oh, no, no, no. That was me. 291 00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,371 Yeah, I figured you should get extra sleep 292 00:13:27,458 --> 00:13:28,808 since you're always so tired. 293 00:13:28,895 --> 00:13:30,679 But the bake sale is in an hour, 294 00:13:30,766 --> 00:13:33,421 and we-- we don't even have a cake yet. 295 00:13:33,508 --> 00:13:35,727 Oh, yikes, I forgot about that. 296 00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:38,339 Wait. I still have a lot to do before my meeting. 297 00:13:38,426 --> 00:13:41,124 I can't let my client think I don't have my act together. 298 00:13:41,211 --> 00:13:44,345 You know what they say: messy house equals messy brain. 299 00:13:44,432 --> 00:13:47,087 You know how to make a cake, right? 300 00:13:47,174 --> 00:13:48,610 No. 301 00:13:48,697 --> 00:13:50,003 Ooh. 302 00:13:51,656 --> 00:13:54,485 Uh, mix it all in here. 303 00:13:54,572 --> 00:13:55,791 The mail bowl. 304 00:13:55,878 --> 00:13:58,838 Well, not with the mail in it, silly. 305 00:14:00,361 --> 00:14:01,492 Here. 306 00:14:10,501 --> 00:14:11,981 Need some help, buddy? 307 00:14:14,244 --> 00:14:15,637 Here. Come on. 308 00:14:17,987 --> 00:14:21,208 Hey, Mom, what's going on? Gardner's starving. 309 00:14:22,774 --> 00:14:25,865 I know. He keeps saying that. 310 00:14:25,952 --> 00:14:28,345 I told him to go ahead and eat without me. 311 00:14:28,432 --> 00:14:30,695 He doesn't know how to open milk. 312 00:14:30,782 --> 00:14:32,480 Are you okay? 313 00:14:32,567 --> 00:14:35,352 Yes. I'm fine. 314 00:14:35,439 --> 00:14:36,658 Why? 315 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,098 I have to run an errand. 316 00:14:42,185 --> 00:14:43,621 Can you start making the cake? 317 00:14:45,058 --> 00:14:48,931 Oh. Yes. Of course. No problem. 318 00:14:49,018 --> 00:14:50,585 No problemo. 319 00:14:50,672 --> 00:14:52,630 Pas de problème. 320 00:14:54,241 --> 00:14:56,286 You don't know how to make a cake, do you? 321 00:14:58,158 --> 00:14:59,246 [bell dings] 322 00:15:00,464 --> 00:15:02,336 Can I help you find something? 323 00:15:02,423 --> 00:15:03,903 Yeah, I need another one of those mugs-- 324 00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:05,208 the Armenian old lady ones. 325 00:15:05,295 --> 00:15:06,731 Albanian. 326 00:15:06,818 --> 00:15:08,255 I need another one. 327 00:15:08,342 --> 00:15:09,778 Why do you need another? 328 00:15:09,865 --> 00:15:12,563 You didn't break it, did you? 329 00:15:12,650 --> 00:15:14,652 Uh, maybe. 330 00:15:14,739 --> 00:15:16,741 [sigh] 331 00:15:18,874 --> 00:15:21,137 When the mug is ready to be shipped out, 332 00:15:21,224 --> 00:15:22,704 the old women of the village 333 00:15:22,791 --> 00:15:25,315 gather to cast the final spell. 334 00:15:25,402 --> 00:15:26,795 [chanting] 335 00:15:26,882 --> 00:15:28,971 Whatever words you inscribe upon the mug 336 00:15:29,058 --> 00:15:30,842 will forever be true. 337 00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,975 But if the mug shatters, 338 00:15:33,062 --> 00:15:34,977 the spell will turn into a curse. 339 00:15:35,064 --> 00:15:36,544 [woman laughing] 340 00:15:36,631 --> 00:15:39,068 And the only thing that can lift it is... 341 00:15:44,682 --> 00:15:46,336 To give most heart like tiny grass? 342 00:15:46,423 --> 00:15:47,511 What does that mean? 343 00:15:47,598 --> 00:15:48,860 How should I know? 344 00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:51,037 This is very poorly translated. 345 00:15:54,605 --> 00:15:57,695 Got it. So, uh, can I have another one? 346 00:15:57,782 --> 00:16:01,134 They only make one every 140 years. 347 00:16:01,221 --> 00:16:02,874 Didn't you get that? 348 00:17:13,989 --> 00:17:15,469 Mom, what are you doing? 349 00:17:15,556 --> 00:17:17,732 I was trying to find a book on multitasking, 350 00:17:17,819 --> 00:17:19,168 but I got distracted. 351 00:17:19,255 --> 00:17:21,257 Why did I ever join a book club? 352 00:17:21,344 --> 00:17:24,565 Your manuscript, Mom. What happened? 353 00:17:24,652 --> 00:17:26,480 Well, I told Gardner he could read it. 354 00:17:26,567 --> 00:17:28,003 He doesn't know how to read, Mom. 355 00:17:29,526 --> 00:17:31,572 Yeah, or spell, apparently. 356 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:35,619 Oh, no. He colored all over it. 357 00:17:35,706 --> 00:17:37,926 [gasp] What am I supposed to do? 358 00:17:38,013 --> 00:17:39,275 Oh, no. 359 00:17:39,362 --> 00:17:41,147 [smoke alarm blares] 360 00:17:41,234 --> 00:17:44,498 Mommy, make it stop. 361 00:17:44,585 --> 00:17:46,282 N-N-No. 362 00:17:46,369 --> 00:17:48,110 Aah! No, no, no, no. 363 00:17:48,197 --> 00:17:49,981 Aah! Oh! Aah. 364 00:17:51,592 --> 00:17:52,897 [coughing] 365 00:17:54,856 --> 00:17:56,988 Mom, why is Gardner in the sink? 366 00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:59,034 He got egg yolks all over himself, 367 00:17:59,121 --> 00:18:00,949 and I didn't want him to make a mess everywhere. 368 00:18:01,036 --> 00:18:02,951 [smoke alarm continues] 369 00:18:06,259 --> 00:18:07,173 [smoke alarm stops] 370 00:18:08,652 --> 00:18:10,045 Mom, why don't we have any food? 371 00:18:10,132 --> 00:18:11,438 Didn't you just go grocery shopping? 372 00:18:11,525 --> 00:18:12,830 Well, the chore wheel said 373 00:18:12,917 --> 00:18:14,223 I was supposed to clean the fridge today, 374 00:18:14,310 --> 00:18:16,747 so I just got rid of everything. 375 00:18:16,834 --> 00:18:20,664 Oh, boy. I really am off my game. 376 00:18:20,751 --> 00:18:24,190 That quiz was right. I am a mediocre mom. 377 00:18:24,277 --> 00:18:28,019 That was wrong. I'm a terrible mom. 378 00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,761 Mom, don't worry. I-- I can help out. 379 00:18:30,848 --> 00:18:32,589 I'll clean up here and take care of things, 380 00:18:32,676 --> 00:18:34,025 but I need you to go to the store. 381 00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,592 Can you do that? 382 00:18:35,679 --> 00:18:37,116 We just need so much stuff, 383 00:18:37,203 --> 00:18:38,595 I don't even know where to begin. 384 00:18:39,901 --> 00:18:42,991 Here's a-- Here's a list. 385 00:18:43,078 --> 00:18:44,558 Thanks, Gortimer. 386 00:18:56,831 --> 00:18:58,311 Mom, you forgot your list! 387 00:18:58,398 --> 00:19:00,748 - [clatter] - Gardner, no! Don't do that! 388 00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:06,188 [sigh] 389 00:19:23,988 --> 00:19:25,033 Hey. 390 00:19:27,688 --> 00:19:30,343 Are you ready to do your part for unfortunate cats and dogs? 391 00:19:30,430 --> 00:19:31,779 Oh, no. The bake sale. 392 00:19:31,866 --> 00:19:33,998 I'm sorry. You got to go without me. 393 00:19:35,565 --> 00:19:38,873 W-Whoa. What happened? 394 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,527 I'll explain later. Let's just say 395 00:19:40,614 --> 00:19:42,181 you might want to get more cookies from the bakery. 396 00:19:42,268 --> 00:19:43,399 [doorbell rings] 397 00:19:43,486 --> 00:19:44,966 Maybe I should have had the bake sale 398 00:19:45,053 --> 00:19:46,663 - at the bakery because-- - [ding dong] 399 00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:48,709 ...it's kind of like we have one there every day anyway. 400 00:19:48,796 --> 00:19:50,363 - Yeah, yeah. Food for thought. - [ding dong] 401 00:19:50,450 --> 00:19:51,668 - I got to go. Bye. - Okay. 402 00:19:51,755 --> 00:19:52,974 It's open! 403 00:19:54,541 --> 00:19:55,629 Hello. 404 00:20:00,155 --> 00:20:01,287 Let me guess. 405 00:20:01,374 --> 00:20:03,202 You must be Gortimer Gibbon, 406 00:20:03,289 --> 00:20:05,856 first issue of the delightful Claire Gibbon. 407 00:20:05,943 --> 00:20:08,642 Never heard it put that way, but yeah, sure. 408 00:20:08,729 --> 00:20:11,253 I'm Winston Hobbes. I have an appointment. 409 00:20:11,340 --> 00:20:13,908 Your mother has been mangling my manuscript. 410 00:20:15,126 --> 00:20:16,824 [laughing] 411 00:20:16,911 --> 00:20:19,218 I'm kidding. Ha ha ha! 412 00:20:19,305 --> 00:20:21,698 But really, I don't have much time. Is she in? 413 00:20:21,785 --> 00:20:23,744 Yeah. She'll just-- She'll be here in a second. 414 00:20:23,831 --> 00:20:25,267 - [glass shatters] - Gardner: Oops. 415 00:20:25,354 --> 00:20:27,095 Can you hold this, please? Thank you, sir. 416 00:20:28,401 --> 00:20:31,012 Gardner! Put down the whisk! 417 00:20:43,590 --> 00:20:47,768 "Butylated hydroxytoluene." 418 00:20:47,855 --> 00:20:51,250 I guess they wouldn't put it in there if it was bad for you. 419 00:20:51,337 --> 00:20:53,339 These kids look like they're having fun. 420 00:20:58,735 --> 00:20:59,910 Mel. 421 00:20:59,997 --> 00:21:02,130 Oh. Hi. 422 00:21:02,217 --> 00:21:04,350 I was hoping I wouldn't run into anyone I know. 423 00:21:04,437 --> 00:21:06,743 Yeah. I totally know that feeling. 424 00:21:06,830 --> 00:21:13,097 Hey, uh, do you know what butylated hydroxytoluene is? 425 00:21:13,184 --> 00:21:15,448 Do kids like it? 426 00:21:15,535 --> 00:21:18,189 You okay? What's wrong? 427 00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:19,887 I'm fine. 428 00:21:32,856 --> 00:21:35,294 I just wanted to cover my freckles, 429 00:21:35,381 --> 00:21:37,861 and now this stuff won't come off. 430 00:21:39,254 --> 00:21:40,560 Why are there a hundred 431 00:21:40,647 --> 00:21:42,170 different types of make-up remover? 432 00:21:42,257 --> 00:21:44,215 And how am I supposed to know 433 00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:46,000 what types of pores I have? 434 00:21:48,132 --> 00:21:49,264 [sigh] 435 00:21:51,571 --> 00:21:52,615 Well... 436 00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:56,924 I like this kind. 437 00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:02,059 It's for sensitive skin like ours. 438 00:22:02,146 --> 00:22:03,713 Thanks. 439 00:22:05,889 --> 00:22:07,674 You know, Mel, 440 00:22:07,761 --> 00:22:10,720 your freckles make you unique. 441 00:22:14,550 --> 00:22:16,813 You look so much like your mom. 442 00:22:17,945 --> 00:22:19,947 Hey. 443 00:22:20,034 --> 00:22:22,079 I miss her, too. 444 00:22:23,646 --> 00:22:24,952 I want you to know 445 00:22:25,039 --> 00:22:26,780 that you can always come to me 446 00:22:26,867 --> 00:22:28,347 for mom stuff. 447 00:22:28,434 --> 00:22:31,567 I know, I know it's not the same. 448 00:22:32,742 --> 00:22:34,440 But I'm here for you... 449 00:22:34,527 --> 00:22:36,137 for anything. 450 00:22:46,321 --> 00:22:47,540 Let's get out of here. 451 00:22:47,627 --> 00:22:49,716 You don't want that stuff? 452 00:22:49,803 --> 00:22:52,240 That's all just a bunch of junk food. 453 00:22:52,327 --> 00:22:53,850 I don't know what I was thinking. 454 00:22:53,937 --> 00:22:55,678 Come on. I'll give you a ride. 455 00:22:55,765 --> 00:22:57,506 I just have to make one quick stop first. 456 00:23:05,079 --> 00:23:06,646 What are you doing? 457 00:23:06,733 --> 00:23:08,778 I'm just trying to get this gunk off this stove. 458 00:23:08,865 --> 00:23:11,215 Oh, don't worry about it. I have special stuff for that. 459 00:23:11,302 --> 00:23:12,391 I got it. 460 00:23:14,349 --> 00:23:15,742 Mom? 461 00:23:19,833 --> 00:23:21,225 [chuckling] 462 00:23:21,312 --> 00:23:23,837 Hey, you better get going. 463 00:23:23,924 --> 00:23:25,229 Going where? 464 00:23:25,316 --> 00:23:26,970 To your bake sale. 465 00:23:27,057 --> 00:23:28,319 Oh, no. It's okay. 466 00:23:28,407 --> 00:23:30,191 I already told Ranger I couldn't go. 467 00:23:30,278 --> 00:23:32,323 Besides, it's too late to make a cake now. 468 00:23:33,716 --> 00:23:37,024 Well, here you go. 469 00:23:37,111 --> 00:23:39,461 Made from scratch. 470 00:23:39,548 --> 00:23:41,202 What? How? 471 00:23:41,289 --> 00:23:43,334 I didn't say I made it from scratch. 472 00:23:43,422 --> 00:23:44,858 It's what bakeries are for. 473 00:23:47,121 --> 00:23:49,340 I have no idea how you do this every day. 474 00:23:50,429 --> 00:23:51,430 Me, neither. 475 00:23:51,517 --> 00:23:53,736 Go. Have fun. 476 00:23:53,823 --> 00:23:55,825 Oh. And before I go, 477 00:23:55,912 --> 00:23:57,174 Gardner's taking a nap, 478 00:23:57,261 --> 00:23:58,785 your ficus plant needs a new pot, 479 00:23:58,872 --> 00:24:00,526 and your client guy's been waiting in the living room 480 00:24:00,613 --> 00:24:02,615 for, like, 30 minutes. I love you. 481 00:24:04,791 --> 00:24:06,140 Oh. 482 00:24:06,227 --> 00:24:07,794 Wow. Uh-- 483 00:24:08,969 --> 00:24:10,797 Okay. Ohh. 484 00:24:15,366 --> 00:24:16,324 Winston. 485 00:24:17,673 --> 00:24:19,066 Mr. Hobbes. 486 00:24:19,153 --> 00:24:22,591 I am so, so sorry I'm late. 487 00:24:22,678 --> 00:24:24,027 I had a parent emergency. 488 00:24:24,114 --> 00:24:25,812 I'm on a very tight schedule. 489 00:24:25,899 --> 00:24:28,118 I'm sure you of all people can appreciate that. 490 00:24:28,205 --> 00:24:30,294 I completely understand. 491 00:24:30,381 --> 00:24:33,776 To be honest, after waiting for you for 20 minutes, 492 00:24:33,863 --> 00:24:35,648 I was only staying so I could tell you 493 00:24:35,735 --> 00:24:37,084 that you didn't get the job. 494 00:24:38,564 --> 00:24:40,217 Oh. 495 00:24:40,304 --> 00:24:42,306 But then I saw the manuscript 496 00:24:42,393 --> 00:24:44,787 and decided to go through your notes. 497 00:24:44,874 --> 00:24:47,224 That really wasn't meant for you to see. 498 00:24:47,311 --> 00:24:48,791 My son kind of went crazy on it. 499 00:24:48,878 --> 00:24:50,445 Yes, I know. 500 00:24:50,532 --> 00:24:53,230 But I'm glad I got your unfiltered thoughts. 501 00:24:54,797 --> 00:24:57,496 These notes are fantastic. 502 00:24:57,583 --> 00:25:02,022 Ha ha. Although scribbling out chapter 3 in blue crayon 503 00:25:02,109 --> 00:25:03,719 seems a little unnecessary. 504 00:25:03,806 --> 00:25:06,069 [laughing] 505 00:25:06,156 --> 00:25:08,507 But the drawing of the poodle was quite charming. 506 00:25:10,291 --> 00:25:13,207 So can we make it official? 507 00:25:13,294 --> 00:25:16,253 Are you giving me the job? 508 00:25:16,340 --> 00:25:17,994 I'd be a fool not to. 509 00:25:18,081 --> 00:25:19,518 Thank you. 510 00:25:19,605 --> 00:25:22,085 I promise you will have my undivided attention. 511 00:25:22,172 --> 00:25:23,913 No more emergencies. 512 00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:27,221 Gardner: Mommy! Mommy! 513 00:25:34,097 --> 00:25:35,534 Gortimer: We sometimes think 514 00:25:35,621 --> 00:25:37,318 that the only way to show our worth 515 00:25:37,405 --> 00:25:40,234 is by doing things for others. 516 00:25:40,321 --> 00:25:43,803 But when that gets to be too much, 517 00:25:43,890 --> 00:25:46,849 remember that people don't expect more from us 518 00:25:46,936 --> 00:25:48,851 than to just be ourselves. 519 00:25:52,942 --> 00:25:54,640 So let yourself off the hook 520 00:25:54,727 --> 00:25:57,120 and appreciate the things that make you... 521 00:25:58,252 --> 00:26:00,428 well...you. 35410

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