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# Oompah! Oompah!
Stick it up your jumper! #
4
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:44,000
Friends, colleagues
and royal birdwatchers...
5
00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:47,680
I am very honoured
to be invited here today
6
00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:51,280
to tell you the incredible story
7
00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:53,280
of my last expedition.
8
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,320
May I have the first slide, please?
9
00:01:56,320 --> 00:01:58,160
And here we are.
10
00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:00,360
'Two weeks out on the safari.'
11
00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:03,840
'Already deep into the interior
12
00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:05,960
and already treading ground
13
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:08,800
that no white man
had ever trod before.'
14
00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:10,800
What is it?
15
00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:12,840
Umbala. Elephant droppings, boss.
16
00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:15,480
We'll have to make another detour.
17
00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:17,720
What is it? Why have we stopped?
18
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:19,720
See all that? Elephants.
19
00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:21,720
I didn't think it was ours.
20
00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:24,680
What is it, Professor?
Please. Not in front of the ladies.
21
00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:27,000
I was going to ask her to be quiet.
22
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,680
Pardon me.
23
00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:30,520
Dear, dear, dear.
Isn't it safe to go on?
24
00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:32,920
It's risky with elephants about.
25
00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:36,040
It'd be all right with a few cows.
But it could be all bulls.
26
00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:38,720
From you, that wouldn't surprise me.
27
00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:41,960
We've trekked far enough anyway.
Upsidasi?
28
00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:43,840
Scout around. Find campsite.
Nookadicky?
29
00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:45,640
Dickanooky, boss.
30
00:02:45,640 --> 00:02:47,680
What's all this
dooky-nicky-nooky stuff?
31
00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:49,680
That's Bangabanga talk.
32
00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:52,480
I hope he hurries
or I'll be icky-dicky.
33
00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:54,520
Dear, dear, dear.
34
00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:03,000
June, my lavender water, please.
35
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,000
Yes, milady.
36
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,600
I'm afraid you've dropped one,
Lady Bagley.
37
00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:09,640
I beg your pardon!
38
00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:15,160
Oh, yes, of course.
39
00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:18,000
It's a pleasure
to be of service, ma'am.
40
00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:20,840
After all,
we've traveled 1,000 miles.
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00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:22,840
I know that, Mr Chumley.
42
00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:26,440
But I shall not require
a thousand-mile service.
43
00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:28,480
Boss? Boss?
44
00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:30,960
I found a good campsite there.
Big waterhole.
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00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:32,760
Fine. Drinkable?
46
00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:35,800
Hippopotamus there.
They seem to like OK.
47
00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:38,600
Hippopotamus?
I'm not drinking after them.
48
00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:40,400
Why not? They'll only be bathing.
49
00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:43,440
If you had ever bathed,
you'd know why not.
50
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:45,720
You're too fussy.
Go on. I'll bring the women.
51
00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:47,760
Very well.
52
00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:52,840
Right in it.
53
00:03:57,920 --> 00:03:59,920
Excuse me, Mr Boosey.
54
00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:02,640
Her Ladyship wondered
if she could have a shower.
55
00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:04,640
Certainly. Upsidasi?
56
00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:07,360
Make shower tent
for water over lady.
57
00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:11,920
Boss. (SPEAKS BANGABANGA)
58
00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:13,720
Thank you.
59
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:16,040
Doesn't it bother you,
being here among a lot of men?
60
00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:19,480
Men have never bothered me.
You must be joking.
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00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:23,400
(SPEAKS BANGABANGA)
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00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:33,360
(GROWLS)
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00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:39,320
Evening, ma'am.
Good evening, Mr Boosey.
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00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,000
Enjoying the safari, ma'am?
65
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:45,440
Immensely. But I'm disappointed
we haven't seen any monkeys.
66
00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:47,840
You won't. They're busy. Mating.
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00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:51,480
I see. Would they come
if I threw them some peanuts?
68
00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:53,480
Would you?
69
00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:56,760
That is a very big one
you have there, is it not?
70
00:04:56,760 --> 00:05:01,360
Eh? This? Well, I'm going hunting.
To bag something for supper.
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00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:03,360
I see. Game?
72
00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:05,400
Anytime. If you are.
73
00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:09,560
Well er... I really must go.
Well, they're all ready for you.
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00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:14,400
If you'll excuse me.
Certainly, ma'am.
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00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:23,320
(SCREAMS)
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00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:27,040
GUNSHOT
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00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:45,400
(TARZAN CRY)
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00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:47,280
THUD
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00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:07,920
Boss, look!
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00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:09,960
Aim, boss.
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00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:18,240
Did I get him?
82
00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:21,120
No. You aim good.
Him in the wrong place.
83
00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:24,840
Where did he go?
He's gone into cover, boss.
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00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:27,400
Give me that. No, you twit!
85
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:36,560
Milady...
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00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:38,560
Your shower is ready.
87
00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:42,360
Thank you, June. I shall require you
to pour as usual.
88
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,400
Yes, milady.
89
00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:49,160
Well, I do hope
elephant doesn't stain, that's all.
90
00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:53,760
Dear, dear, dear. I'm starting to
wish we hadn't come on this trip.
91
00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:56,120
Every step one takes is fraught.
92
00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:59,920
What is more,
we haven't spotted one rare bird.
93
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,960
It's not good enough.
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00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:04,000
We must keep a sharper lookout.
95
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:06,960
Don't worry, Professor.
I'm doing that.
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00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:11,360
Cor!
97
00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:14,720
Chumley, what are you looking at?
98
00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:17,600
Oh... er... Nothing, Professor.
Nothing at all.
99
00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:20,000
You must be looking at something.
100
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,040
Your rear was utterly agog.
101
00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:25,600
Oh... er... Oh, well, I erm...
102
00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:29,480
just thought I'd spotted
the golden crested tit, sir.
103
00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:35,320
Oooh, impossible! You don't find
golden crested tits here in Africa.
104
00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:37,720
The occasional black one, maybe.
105
00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:40,320
Of course. You're quite right, sir.
106
00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:42,320
I was mistaken, sir.
107
00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:43,440
Let me have a look. Where is it?
108
00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:45,440
I shouldn't bother, sir.
109
00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:47,200
Where?
110
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,240
I can't see anything.
111
00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:53,560
Oooh!
112
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:55,600
Well, yes...
113
00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:58,160
That is definitely something.
114
00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:00,160
Really, sir? What?
115
00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:03,000
The erm...
Well, I can't put a name to it.
116
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:06,240
Just a quick flash of tail.
Really? Let me have a look, sir!
117
00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:08,240
What... It's gone now.
118
00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:10,240
It's gone into the jungle.
119
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:14,640
I'll tell you what. Take these
binoculars. Go and look for it.
120
00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:17,960
No. I don't think
I should go outside just now.
121
00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:21,680
Lady Bagley will be er...
taking her shower.
122
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,960
Will she? Oooh!
123
00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,120
Well, I hadn't realised that.
124
00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:29,880
Dear, we can't embarrass her,
can we? Her poor soul!
125
00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:34,320
I, er... could of course
keep my eyes averted.
126
00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:38,120
Spoken like a true gentleman,
Chumley. Go and avert.
127
00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:40,560
Go on. Off you go.
128
00:08:40,560 --> 00:08:44,600
Now, round the back of the tent
and don't let her see you.
129
00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:49,360
Oooh.
130
00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:00,360
(MOANS)
131
00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:05,000
That's enough.
You're getting too excited.
132
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:07,760
Take something, man. Take something.
133
00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:09,800
What? No.
134
00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:12,640
What's this?
135
00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:14,880
'Pickett's muscular elixir.'
136
00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:16,880
'Eases stiffness.'
137
00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:18,920
Just the thing.
138
00:09:23,680 --> 00:09:25,720
Cor!
139
00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:29,920
(SPEAKS BANGABANGA)
140
00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:33,800
(BANGABANGA)
141
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,280
Patch him up
and break out a can of corned beef.
142
00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:39,280
(BANGABANGA)
143
00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:41,560
June, hurry up with the water.
144
00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:51,640
Here. You shouldn't be carrying
heavy things.
145
00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:53,640
Her Ladyship wants it.
146
00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:56,160
Don't worry. She's going to get it.
147
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,520
You have a rest. Go on. Good girl.
148
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:06,200
June, are you there?
Yes, milady.
149
00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:08,480
Rinse me off, will you, please?
150
00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:33,960
That's enough, thank you.
Bring the towel and rub me down.
151
00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:46,440
June?
152
00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:48,160
June! June, where are you?
153
00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:49,800
Funny.
154
00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:57,520
My turn.
155
00:10:57,520 --> 00:10:59,560
Excuse me.
156
00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:02,480
(SPEAKS BANGABANGA)
157
00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:07,440
Big white hunter.
158
00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:09,480
Big white tin opener.
159
00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:28,240
Thank you, June. I shall not require
you any more. Take the evening off.
160
00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:31,160
In the middle of the jungle?
161
00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:33,160
Big deal.
162
00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:35,160
Good evening, Mr Boosey.
163
00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:37,200
Evening, ma'am.
164
00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:39,360
Just checking supplies.
165
00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:42,960
I haven't thanked you yet
for scaring that gorilla.
166
00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:46,680
That was nothing.
You're all right if it chases you.
167
00:11:46,680 --> 00:11:49,840
When it goes like that, worry.
What does that mean?
168
00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:54,160
When you go to find out what
it's for, he grabs you, like that.
169
00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:56,680
They like to crush people to death.
170
00:11:56,680 --> 00:12:00,280
Then they like to
get a good grip on anything handy
171
00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:02,640
and give a good squeeze.
172
00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:04,640
Oh, I see.
173
00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:06,440
And then what do they do?
174
00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:09,720
Then they nuzzle into the neck, see?
And start nibbling.
175
00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:11,800
Ooh, well, why do they do that?
176
00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:14,960
To keep your mind off
what the hands are doing.
177
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:17,000
Ahem!
178
00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:21,720
Good evening, Professor.
179
00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:25,800
Mr Boosey was showing me
how a gorilla gets a crush on one.
180
00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:29,000
Yes. I could see
he was up to monkey business.
181
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:31,000
Very good, that.
182
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,200
Grub's up in a minute.
I'll have a wash. Excuse me.
183
00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:35,200
Of course.
184
00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:36,920
Look at them rings.
Aren't they whoppers?
185
00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:39,080
I have a matching pair as well.
186
00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:41,240
Don't think I hadn't noticed.
187
00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:43,800
He's so vulgar. So vulgar.
188
00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:46,920
As a matter of fact,
I find him refreshing.
189
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:51,760
My dear Lady Bagley. We must face
it. The man is not a gentleman.
190
00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:54,320
I understand...
191
00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:56,360
He sleeps in his vest.
192
00:12:56,440 --> 00:13:00,840
Sleeping in a vest displays
a sense of individuality, surely?
193
00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:03,200
It displays a lot more than that!
194
00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:05,280
What on earth do you mean?
195
00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:08,640
I mean a man like that
would stoop at nothing...
196
00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:11,800
would go to any lengths
to achieve his ends.
197
00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:14,240
Do you really think so, Professor?
198
00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:16,320
I'm sure of it. I'm sure of it.
199
00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:18,840
Lady Bagley, you are too trusting.
200
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:21,280
Out here, in the wilds as we are...
201
00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:26,640
coming into close contact
with each other... day after day...
202
00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:30,560
it only needs a glimpse
of creamy skin...
203
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:32,600
a hint of milky thigh...
204
00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:35,800
Why, you make me sound like
a dairy product.
205
00:13:36,040 --> 00:13:41,360
Well, yes, you do remind me
of something in an English meadow.
206
00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:43,280
What?
207
00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:45,320
A babbling brook.
208
00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:47,320
Sparkling. Inviting.
209
00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:49,880
And so beautifully cool.
210
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:53,680
Well, I'm very cool now.
Night draws on, you know.
211
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:56,360
How sensible of you to bring a pair.
212
00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:58,920
CLANG
213
00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:01,280
Dinner is served.
214
00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:03,280
Allow me, ma'am.
215
00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:05,320
Thank you, Mr Chumley.
216
00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:13,240
Ah, well... Mr Boosey...
217
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:15,240
You may have dinner served.
218
00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:17,240
Upsidasi.
219
00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:20,280
Bung on the grub.
Common as muck!
220
00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:46,080
(SPEAKS NATIVE TONGUE)
221
00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:50,360
Ahem. Tell me, Mr Boosey...
222
00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:53,000
What have you bagged for us tonight?
223
00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:56,720
We call this fricassee
of fully-grown African lion.
224
00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:59,200
Is it? Delightful.
225
00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:02,120
Isn't that rather dangerous,
shooting lions?
226
00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:04,120
Not half.
227
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:07,560
When I found him
he was having fun with a lioness.
228
00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:12,120
One thing that drives a lion mad
is being disturbed with a lioness.
229
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:13,920
Ooh! Do they charge?
230
00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:16,440
No. They do it for love.
231
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:20,160
What is your sport, Professor?
I haven't seen you shoot.
232
00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:22,720
No. I get my pleasure in other ways.
233
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,880
Really?
234
00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:28,800
Professor Tinkle
is an ornithologist.
235
00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:34,560
Actually I'm fascinated
by rare and exotic birds.
236
00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:36,720
Aren't we all?
237
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:40,520
My last expedition
was to the Virgin Isles.
238
00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:44,760
There we discovered
the rare species of a frigate bird.
239
00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:47,200
The what bird?
Frigate. Frigate!
240
00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:48,480
Now now. Language.
241
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:50,480
Now you listen here...
242
00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:52,520
(TARZAN CRY)
243
00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:55,640
What is that?
244
00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:59,800
Probably a frigate hyena.
Let's have a bit of fun with him.
245
00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:01,840
(TARZAN CRY)
246
00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:08,560
(YELLS RESPONSE)
247
00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:10,640
Thhhrrrrp!
248
00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:14,520
That'll shake him.
249
00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:18,840
Lady Bagley,
now you know why we are here.
250
00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:21,240
Won't you tell us what brings
251
00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:24,600
a beautiful lady like yourself
here to Africa?
252
00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:28,360
Before I tell you,
I would like to show you something
253
00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:29,560
that I have in here.
254
00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:32,000
Oh, no, no. Don't bother.
255
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:35,160
When you've seen one,
you've seen them all.
256
00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:39,760
I promise you, Professor,
you've never seen one like this.
257
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:45,200
That is a picture
of my little baby boy.
258
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:49,120
Lying on the rug,
playing with his wee engine.
259
00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:52,680
I must tell you,
soon after little Cecil was born,
260
00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:55,880
my husband brought us here
on our honeymoon.
261
00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:58,120
A delayed honeymoon of course.
262
00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:01,680
A lady like yourself
would never make the mistake
263
00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:04,280
of putting the cart
before the horse.
264
00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:06,040
Or the club before the pudding.
265
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:08,880
Will you spare us
the clinical details?
266
00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:11,440
Thank you. Pray continue, my dear.
267
00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:15,160
One morning, out here
in the wilds of the interior,
268
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:18,560
my husband took our baby
for his usual walkies.
269
00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:21,280
And they never came back.
270
00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:23,320
How ghastly, ma'am.
271
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:28,520
Soon afterwards, while searching
along the banks of the Limpopo,
272
00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:30,720
our bearers shot a crocodile.
273
00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:33,560
And there in its stomach...
274
00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:38,200
was my dear husband's fob watch.
275
00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,560
How very terrible. And the baby?
276
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:43,200
On the bank, close by...
277
00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:45,720
was his nappy.
278
00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:48,040
Clean?
279
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,200
I'm afraid not.
280
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:52,160
And so near to the Limpopo too.
281
00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:54,720
Surely, ma'am,
after all this time,
282
00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:56,680
there's no hope.
283
00:17:56,680 --> 00:18:00,080
No, but you see,
we never did find his nappy pin.
284
00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:04,400
It would be something
to remember him by.
285
00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:47,320
Ah! Ooh!
286
00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:52,680
Africa is so very romantic.
287
00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:56,520
I never get tired of
listening to the strange noises.
288
00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:58,680
Uuuurrp!
289
00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:00,760
Must you do that always?
Do what?
290
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:03,320
Emit air in that fashion.
291
00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:07,040
What else do I do?
It's better than sneaking it out.
292
00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:10,320
Mr Chumley,
please don't worry on my account.
293
00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:14,160
Let us just sit quietly
and enjoy the night.
294
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:42,120
Is there something wrong, my dear?
295
00:19:42,120 --> 00:19:44,160
No.
296
00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:47,760
No, no, no. It's quite all right.
297
00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:51,000
A little more?
298
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,480
I don't mind.
299
00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:56,080
Of course.
300
00:20:04,360 --> 00:20:06,400
Lovely, isn't it?
301
00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:10,720
I... can't say I'm enjoying it,
Mr Chumley.
302
00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:12,520
What? But you just said -
303
00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:14,560
How dare you?
304
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:18,120
Lady Bagley... What have I done?
305
00:20:18,120 --> 00:20:20,160
You know perfectly well -
306
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,560
Ah!
307
00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:26,960
Oh!
308
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:28,560
Aaargh!
309
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:30,280
I wonder what's up with her.
310
00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:35,160
Well, I don't know. Whatever it is
it's rubbing her up the wrong way.
311
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:40,080
(TARZAN CRY)
312
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:37,000
All right. We'll rest here.
313
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:39,280
(SPEAKS BANGABANGA)
314
00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:55,640
Ah, dear Lady Bagley.
315
00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:58,920
Did you see the giraffes just now?
Yes, I did. Quaint things.
316
00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:01,680
I wonder why
they have such long necks.
317
00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:06,400
It's simple. It's because their
heads are so far from their bodies.
318
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:08,920
I would never have thought of that.
319
00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:10,600
You're so knowledgeable, Professor.
320
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:12,600
It's observation, really.
321
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:15,640
Hmm. I wonder if
perhaps you could help me.
322
00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:18,200
Do you know anything
about the habits of snakes?
323
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,080
Habits?
324
00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:22,040
I mean, what do they do?
325
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:26,280
Well, strangely enough,
I've often wondered that myself.
326
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:29,320
They're exactly the same
all the way down.
327
00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:31,200
They don't seem to have
the wherewithals.
328
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:33,200
Wherewithals to what?
329
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:35,360
Well, I mean... They don't...
330
00:22:35,360 --> 00:22:37,960
If... I mean... They're lacking...
331
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:40,360
Did you see the giraffes just now?
332
00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:43,040
I did.
But what I wanted to know was...
333
00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:45,840
If one came in close contact
with a snake, could it harm one?
334
00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:48,080
That would depend on the snake.
335
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:52,080
There is a brown one,
the African viper, which is deadly.
336
00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:54,840
Oh, no.
This one was definitely green.
337
00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:56,240
It sort of moved... like this.
338
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:59,680
That's the vindscreen viper.
Harmless.
339
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:02,120
DRUMMING
What's that?
340
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:13,600
Quiet, everyone.
(SPEAKS BANGABANGA)
341
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:17,440
DRUMMING REPLY
342
00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:24,320
Upsidasi, what do those drums say?
343
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:28,080
They say... boom di-di, boom di-di,
boom boom boom.
344
00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:30,960
I know that! What does it mean?
345
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:32,960
How should I know, boss?
346
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:34,800
Fat lot of use you are.
Let's get moving.
347
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:37,080
OK, boss. (SPEAKS BANGABANGA)
348
00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:39,240
(SHOUTS IN BANGABANGA)
349
00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:42,200
What's the matter with them?
I go to see, boss.
350
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:45,560
I wish he would go to sea.
He's no flipping use on land.
351
00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:54,680
(SPEAKS BANGABANGA)
352
00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:56,480
Well?
353
00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:59,160
They don't want to go on.
I say we must.
354
00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:01,240
They say no, I say yes.
Now it is certain.
355
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:02,800
Good lad.
356
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:04,960
Yes, boss. We go on. They stay.
357
00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:09,120
How can we go on without them?
Who will carry the supplies?
358
00:24:09,120 --> 00:24:13,480
They frightened. They say the drums
are of a very bad tribe. The Noshas.
359
00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:16,160
The Noshas?
Very bad tribe.
360
00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:19,120
Very savage.
They eat people. Backward.
361
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:21,680
They're not eating me backwards.
362
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:24,360
Of course not.
What a load of rubbish.
363
00:24:24,360 --> 00:24:26,000
What makes them think that?
364
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:30,520
They say the first drums says,
'Lay the table. Dinner coming.'
365
00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:32,920
The second says, 'Yummy, yummy.'
366
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:35,840
Perhaps it would be better
if we don't go.
367
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:38,280
Yes. This is a good place for camp.
368
00:24:38,360 --> 00:24:42,600
Not on your nelly. I won't be
scared off by silly native talk.
369
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:46,160
They don't call me
Rattlesnake Bill for nothing.
370
00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:49,440
Now, listen to me,
you lily-livered jackals.
371
00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:51,440
We are not staying here!
372
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:53,440
DRUMMING
373
00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:55,680
Put up the tents. Double quick.
374
00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:57,720
(SPEAKS BANGABANGA)
375
00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:22,840
Boss! Boss. Listen, boss.
376
00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:24,840
The drums have stopped.
377
00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:27,440
I know that! They stopped hours ago.
378
00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:29,680
Tell me something I don't know.
379
00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:33,360
The women of the Yubangi tribe
stuff buffalo bones up their nose.
380
00:25:33,360 --> 00:25:35,320
What are you talking about?
381
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:38,880
You asked me to tell you
something you don't know.
382
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:41,520
Get the beaters.
We're going hunting.
383
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:43,440
Mr Boosey?
384
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:45,280
Yes, miss. What is it?
385
00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:47,880
The drums have stopped.
Get away.
386
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:51,280
Is it safe to go for a walk?
Would anything happen?
387
00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:55,120
You could walk starkers through
an army and nothing would happen.
388
00:25:55,120 --> 00:25:57,120
Thank you.
389
00:25:57,120 --> 00:25:59,120
Boss, boss. I got the beaters, boss.
390
00:25:59,120 --> 00:26:03,280
Cor blimey. It's like trying
to have a bit on an ant's nest.
391
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:05,320
Come on. Let's get going.
392
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:09,560
All clear for us
to do some bird spotting, sir.
393
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:11,560
Oh. No, no. You go, Chumley.
394
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:13,880
Erm, I have some paperwork to do.
395
00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:15,920
All right, sir.
396
00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:39,240
How lovely!
397
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:26,040
(TARZAN CRY)
398
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:50,600
Ooh. Aren't you lovely?
399
00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:54,680
It's all right. You're safe.
400
00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:57,560
Who are you?
401
00:27:57,560 --> 00:27:59,480
Where do you come from?
402
00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:01,400
Ug ooh.
403
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:03,840
Don't you understand?
404
00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:06,840
Don't you speak English?
405
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:08,920
Hooog ug ooh.
406
00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:12,320
Maybe you've lived
all your life in the jungle.
407
00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:17,720
Haven't you ever seen
a woman before?
408
00:28:18,120 --> 00:28:20,160
Obviously not.
409
00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:25,920
Tell me... What is your name?
410
00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:29,280
Name?
411
00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:31,280
Look...
412
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:33,280
Me June.
413
00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:35,280
June.
414
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:38,280
Understand?
Arr. June.
415
00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:40,280
June.
416
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:42,280
Not those!
417
00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:44,320
This... June.
418
00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:47,040
Understand?
419
00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:48,800
June.
420
00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:50,800
That's right.
421
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:53,760
Now, then. What is your name?
422
00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:56,000
Hoog ug.
423
00:28:56,080 --> 00:28:58,080
Ug?
424
00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:01,360
Oh. That's an unusual name.
425
00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:07,960
That's called a... chest.
426
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:09,960
Chest.
427
00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:13,360
Chest.
Good.
428
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:15,360
HONK
429
00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:18,600
It's all right.
It's nothing to be afraid of.
430
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:21,480
No. I know yours isn't like that.
431
00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:25,160
But you're different from me,
you see. I'm a woman.
432
00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:27,600
Woman.
433
00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:29,440
That's right.
434
00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:31,480
Woman.
435
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:34,720
No, no, no. Me woman.
436
00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:39,320
Look. I'll show you.
437
00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:47,040
See? Woman like that.
438
00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:53,240
No, no, no. That's a man.
A woman doesn't have a...
439
00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:56,840
I mean... Oh, dear.
This is going to be difficult.
440
00:29:57,800 --> 00:29:59,800
Woman.
441
00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:01,840
That's it.
442
00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:04,400
Chest.
443
00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:07,400
That's right.
Man.
444
00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:12,120
No! Oh, dear. Perhaps we'd
better start with something simpler.
445
00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:16,800
Water. Water.
446
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:18,800
Water.
447
00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:20,800
Good.
448
00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:23,440
Swim. Water.
449
00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:26,240
Swim. Water.
450
00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:30,040
No! I didn't mean I wanted to swim.
451
00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:35,200
I don't know.
Perhaps it would be nice.
452
00:30:35,640 --> 00:30:40,200
We'll have to wait a moment.
I'll get some of these clothes off.
453
00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:09,560
Ready.
454
00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:35,920
PARP
455
00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:50,720
Great Scott!
456
00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:18,040
Is it?
457
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:20,000
Hoo!
458
00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:52,360
Kiss.
459
00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:57,160
Kiss.
460
00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:01,760
No.
We're supposed to do it together.
461
00:33:01,760 --> 00:33:03,800
Like this.
462
00:33:11,560 --> 00:33:12,880
BANG
463
00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:16,040
That's Mr Boosey, that bang.
I must go back.
464
00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:19,280
Kiss, kiss! Woman.
465
00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:21,280
No, no. I can't now.
466
00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:24,600
Tell you what.
Come here tonight. After dark.
467
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:29,640
Oh, dear. Here, look.
468
00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:31,680
Look. Here.
469
00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:33,800
Night time. Understand?
470
00:33:38,240 --> 00:33:40,280
(YELLS)
471
00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:43,680
You don't have to tell everybody.
472
00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:45,840
Here. Night time.
473
00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:47,960
BANG
474
00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:51,400
Oh, dear. I must go.
That's Mr Boosey, that bang.
475
00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:53,920
Here. Night time. Bang.
476
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:56,640
Yes, yes.
But for goodness' sake, go.
477
00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:10,320
My clothes. Where are they?
478
00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:33,640
TARZAN CRY
479
00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:38,600
(SPEAKS BANGABANGA)
480
00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:46,880
What I can't understand is why is it
the same fella getting in the way.
481
00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:51,320
He's very stupid, boss. He got no
sense. He run in front of you.
482
00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:55,480
Try and patch him up
and break out a can of corned beef.
483
00:34:57,600 --> 00:35:00,120
What happened to that poor fellow?
484
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:03,840
Terrible. He was beating up front.
Come across this mad elephant.
485
00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:05,840
Mad elephant?
486
00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:08,040
Nothing worse than a mad elephant.
487
00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:11,640
Are you sure it was a mad elephant?
He's been shot!
488
00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:15,080
Well, have you seen
a sane elephant using a gun?
489
00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:18,320
Professor!
490
00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:20,320
Look. Look what I've found.
491
00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:22,320
Oooh.
492
00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:24,320
I can't believe it.
493
00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:27,320
Is it?
It can't be.
494
00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:29,320
It isn't?
It is.
495
00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:30,800
It is!
496
00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:32,800
It is what, for Pete's sake?
497
00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:34,960
A tail feather
from the famous oozlumbird.
498
00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:37,480
Have you gone potty? It's extinct.
499
00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:39,800
You've heard that too, have you?
500
00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:44,240
I never believed it. It's based on
a physical impossibility.
501
00:35:45,320 --> 00:35:48,960
Of course, the tail feather
could have dropped off
502
00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:51,640
just before it disappeared up its...
503
00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:54,920
All the same...
(SCREAMS)
504
00:35:57,480 --> 00:36:00,160
Lady Bagley, whatever's the matter?
505
00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:02,160
You look so wan!
506
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:06,360
I've... I've just had
the most terrible experience.
507
00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:08,360
There was this savage...
508
00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:12,400
with a spear and he... prodded me!
509
00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:13,680
Where?
510
00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:16,680
In the bottom!
Where was the savage?
511
00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:19,920
I tried to tell you.
In the bottom of a ravine.
512
00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:22,480
Oh, the filthy swine!
513
00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:25,440
That sort of conduct
makes me so mad.
514
00:36:25,440 --> 00:36:27,440
If only I had a gun.
There we are.
515
00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:29,960
Oh, yes. Thank you so much.
516
00:36:31,240 --> 00:36:33,280
That's better.
517
00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:38,200
Now what?
518
00:36:44,720 --> 00:36:46,400
He's dead, boss.
519
00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:49,160
Oh, dear!
I hope it's nothing serious.
520
00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:51,160
Wait a minute. What's this?
521
00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:54,800
'Finder please return.
Property of Nosha tribe.'
522
00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:56,800
Nosha? Nosha!
523
00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:58,840
(YELLS IN BANGABANGA)
524
00:37:00,240 --> 00:37:02,800
Come back. Come back, you scum.
525
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:07,920
Well, that's that.
Won't see them again.
526
00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:10,600
Do you mean
we're left alone out here?
527
00:37:10,600 --> 00:37:13,520
Yep.
By morning they'll be halfway home.
528
00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:16,640
Please help us, someone.
Please help!
529
00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:26,920
Man.
530
00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:28,920
Woman.
531
00:37:28,920 --> 00:37:30,960
Water.
532
00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:44,040
Tent.
533
00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:46,080
Night. Kiss.
534
00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:49,080
Bang.
535
00:37:57,560 --> 00:37:59,600
(CRIES LIKE TARZAN)
536
00:38:24,720 --> 00:38:27,160
Oh, no you don't, you naughty boy.
537
00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:29,520
Where do you expect me to go?
538
00:38:29,520 --> 00:38:31,040
You should have put the toilets up.
539
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:35,960
That's no excuse. One of the laws of
the jungle is no widdling in camp.
540
00:38:35,960 --> 00:38:39,320
You can't expect me to go into the
jungle. What if the Noshas see me?
541
00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:41,320
They'll get a nasty shock.
542
00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:43,360
You... Ooh...
543
00:38:49,720 --> 00:38:52,240
Evening, ma'am. Going somewhere?
544
00:38:52,240 --> 00:38:53,840
Yes, I'm afraid I have to,
Mr Boosey.
545
00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:55,840
Pity. Don't go too far.
546
00:38:55,840 --> 00:39:00,880
Don't go far. If there's any Noshas
they'll find you a sitting target.
547
00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:03,240
Yes. Well,
I'll stay within calling distance.
548
00:39:03,240 --> 00:39:05,280
Do that. I'll be here.
549
00:39:05,560 --> 00:39:10,000
And if you call, don't think
I won't come running. Cos I won't.
550
00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:15,080
Oh, blimey. Another one.
Excuse me, miss!
551
00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:16,880
Looking for something?
552
00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:19,440
No, I was just going back
to the pool, Mr Boosey.
553
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:21,400
I remember now
where I left my clothes.
554
00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:23,200
Good. I'll come with you.
555
00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:26,640
No, I'm sure
that won't be necessary, thank you.
556
00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:31,280
I think I'd better. It's not safe
for a pretty girl to walk alone.
557
00:39:35,240 --> 00:39:37,280
(SPEAKS BANGABANGA)
558
00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:41,760
I'm going scouting.
You keep watch. Nookadicky?
559
00:39:41,760 --> 00:39:43,800
Sure, boss.
560
00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:46,200
Dickanooky!
561
00:39:57,400 --> 00:39:59,440
MONKEY CHATTERING
562
00:40:17,440 --> 00:40:19,480
Aaargh!
563
00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:21,960
(SCREAMS OF PANIC)
564
00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:23,760
Evelyn!
565
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:31,960
Lady Bagley, I'm terribly sorry.
I thought...
566
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:34,640
No... Why should I lie?
I'm not sorry.
567
00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:37,920
I adore you. I've longed
to take you in my arms.
568
00:40:37,920 --> 00:40:40,960
Kindly remove
your person from my person.
569
00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:45,880
I can't. Your Ladyship, this is
Africa. A land of unbridled passion.
570
00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:47,880
Let's get our bridles off.
571
00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:50,800
I am aware
of our geographical position.
572
00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:53,120
Not to mention our physical one.
573
00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:56,400
But there is a time
and a place for everything.
574
00:40:56,400 --> 00:40:58,400
Even unharnessing.
575
00:40:58,400 --> 00:41:00,920
What? Oh, you're right, of course.
576
00:41:00,920 --> 00:41:02,920
Not here, eh?
577
00:41:02,920 --> 00:41:04,920
Later I'll come to you. Ooh.
578
00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:07,400
Give us a kiss to be going on with,
girl.
579
00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:13,000
No! Aargh!
Aw!
580
00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:15,600
Never mind 'aw'. What are you doing?
581
00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:17,600
Dear, dear, dear.
582
00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:20,600
Professor, I...
No, don't tell me.
583
00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:24,520
I'm flabbergasted.
My gast has never been so flabbered.
584
00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:25,760
But I can explain, sir, really.
585
00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:28,080
No. I don't need an explanation.
586
00:41:28,080 --> 00:41:30,080
I know what's been going on.
587
00:41:30,080 --> 00:41:34,640
You don't study the habits of birds
without learning something.
588
00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:37,040
Enough. Back to your tent at once.
589
00:41:37,040 --> 00:41:39,400
You... libertine.
590
00:41:39,400 --> 00:41:40,480
Libertine?
591
00:41:40,480 --> 00:41:42,520
Yes! Libertine.
592
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:45,200
But, sir. Evelyn...
Who?
593
00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:47,200
I mean Her Ladyship.
594
00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:50,080
Her? Don't worry.
I'll escort her back.
595
00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:52,760
Very good, sir. (MOUTHS SILENTLY)
596
00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:54,720
(BLUSTERS)
597
00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:01,560
Really!
598
00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:05,960
I must apologise for the outrageous
conduct of my assistant.
599
00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:07,040
He will not take his tablets.
600
00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:09,960
Why,
I believe you're a tiny bit jealous.
601
00:42:09,960 --> 00:42:11,960
Yes. Oh, no!
602
00:42:11,960 --> 00:42:13,960
Well... I mean...
603
00:42:13,960 --> 00:42:16,280
You see, after all I'm his chief.
604
00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:18,800
And if there are any perks going...
605
00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:22,080
I mean if there's any spare
knocking about...
606
00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:24,080
I think I know what you mean.
607
00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:26,080
Take me now.
Pardon?
608
00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:28,040
Back to the camp.
609
00:42:28,040 --> 00:42:30,680
Oooh, yes. Of course, yes. Allow me.
610
00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:44,480
Don't worry. If there's
anything there, I'll find it.
611
00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:05,440
He isn't here.
612
00:43:05,440 --> 00:43:07,440
Who?
613
00:43:07,440 --> 00:43:09,040
I mean they aren't here. My clothes.
614
00:43:09,040 --> 00:43:12,240
Oh! Well,
you don't want to worry about that.
615
00:43:12,240 --> 00:43:14,320
You're very tasty as you are.
616
00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:17,360
I think I'll stay for a while.
Just in case.
617
00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:19,600
You go back, please, Mr Boosey.
618
00:43:19,600 --> 00:43:21,880
Not on your nelly.
Come on. I'll take you back.
619
00:43:21,880 --> 00:43:23,920
Oh. All right, then.
620
00:43:28,280 --> 00:43:30,600
I'm sure you'll be all right now.
621
00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:34,920
I hope so. Though I tremble
at the thought of sleeping alone.
622
00:43:34,920 --> 00:43:36,920
Oh, I know how you feel.
623
00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:38,920
I don't fancy it myself.
624
00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:43,040
One would feel so much safer
with a strong, fearless man.
625
00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:46,600
I agree. But where
could we find one out here?
626
00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:50,280
Professor, I don't suppose
you would consider...
627
00:43:50,280 --> 00:43:52,440
That is, I mean... Would you...
628
00:43:52,440 --> 00:43:55,680
Yes?
No, no. It's unthinkable.
629
00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:58,400
Erm...
630
00:43:58,400 --> 00:44:00,400
Lady Bagley...
631
00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:03,440
I wonder if you would think
I was presuming
632
00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:05,240
if I er... erm...
633
00:44:05,240 --> 00:44:07,040
Could you see your way
to letting me...
634
00:44:07,040 --> 00:44:09,040
Yes?
635
00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:11,080
Oh, no. It's unprintable.
636
00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:15,200
Of course in the ordinary way
it would be quite wrong.
637
00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:17,880
But these are rather
exceptional circumstances.
638
00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:19,560
Are they not?
639
00:44:19,560 --> 00:44:21,280
They are. They are.
640
00:44:21,280 --> 00:44:23,800
There is my reputation to think of.
641
00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:26,600
You would need to be
very circumspect.
642
00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:28,800
Oh, I was. When I was a baby.
643
00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:32,680
People might not think you were
in my tent to protect me...
644
00:44:32,680 --> 00:44:34,480
Might they?
645
00:44:34,480 --> 00:44:36,440
Definitely they might not.
646
00:44:36,440 --> 00:44:39,280
They might jump to the wrong
conclusions, might they not?
647
00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:41,320
They might. They might.
648
00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:45,520
But we could wait until
they were asleep, could one not?
649
00:44:45,520 --> 00:44:47,560
Ooh, one could! One could!
650
00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:50,560
Professor,
how clever of you to think of it.
651
00:44:50,560 --> 00:44:52,560
Oh, it was nothing. I...
652
00:44:52,560 --> 00:44:54,600
Till later then, Inigo.
653
00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:03,200
Here we are. Safe and sound.
654
00:45:06,960 --> 00:45:09,640
Thank you, Mr Boosey.
And good night.
655
00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:11,720
Are you sure you won't be nervous
by yourself?
656
00:45:11,720 --> 00:45:13,720
Oh, no.
657
00:45:13,720 --> 00:45:16,400
If you should be,
you can come to mine.
658
00:45:16,400 --> 00:45:20,120
Thank you. I don't think
anything will happen to me.
659
00:45:20,120 --> 00:45:23,840
Pity. I've got a set of trophies
I'd like to show you.
660
00:45:23,840 --> 00:45:25,840
Good night.
661
00:45:25,840 --> 00:45:27,880
This just isn't my safari.
662
00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:32,200
Oi.
663
00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:34,200
It's all right.
It's me. Anything to report?
664
00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:36,200
No, boss.
665
00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:38,800
I'm turning in. Keep your eyes open.
Nookadicky?
666
00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:40,840
Dickanooky, boss.
667
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:26,720
Who's there?
668
00:46:26,720 --> 00:46:28,360
(GRUNTS)
669
00:46:28,440 --> 00:46:31,880
Ug! Oh, thank goodness.
I thought you weren't coming.
670
00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:36,440
Shh! Don't make a noise.
They'll hear you.
671
00:46:36,440 --> 00:46:38,480
Come over here and sit down.
672
00:46:43,240 --> 00:46:45,280
That's it.
673
00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:48,640
Now then.
I'll teach you some more words.
674
00:46:49,040 --> 00:46:52,120
Now this thing I'm lying on
is called a bed.
675
00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:56,120
Ug! Give me your hand.
Let me hold your hand.
676
00:46:56,120 --> 00:46:58,480
There. That's better. Now then.
677
00:46:58,600 --> 00:47:00,600
Oh!
678
00:47:00,600 --> 00:47:02,640
Aren't you hairy!
679
00:47:03,600 --> 00:47:07,160
Oh. All right, then.
You can cuddle me if you like.
680
00:47:07,160 --> 00:47:09,160
Oh!
681
00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:11,200
What long arms you've got.
682
00:47:35,560 --> 00:47:37,920
Is that you?
683
00:47:38,280 --> 00:47:40,360
Don't make a noise.
June is still awake.
684
00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:42,080
June.
685
00:47:42,080 --> 00:47:44,440
Yes. Shh. I'm over here. Come on.
686
00:47:47,520 --> 00:47:49,520
Woman. Kiss.
687
00:47:49,520 --> 00:47:51,920
You don't waste much time, do you?
688
00:47:51,920 --> 00:47:55,560
You mustn't rush me,
Professor, you know. I'm not -
689
00:47:55,560 --> 00:47:57,600
Wh... Wh... Professor!
690
00:47:58,560 --> 00:48:00,680
You haven't got anything on.
691
00:48:01,040 --> 00:48:02,720
Water. Swim.
692
00:48:02,720 --> 00:48:04,440
Man. Woman. Bang!
693
00:48:04,440 --> 00:48:06,240
What?!
694
00:48:06,240 --> 00:48:08,080
What are you talking about?
695
00:48:11,040 --> 00:48:13,080
Just a moment.
696
00:48:14,320 --> 00:48:17,000
Ooh. How do you do?
697
00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:19,680
I don't think we've been introduced.
698
00:48:19,680 --> 00:48:21,680
Now don't go. Don't go.
699
00:48:21,680 --> 00:48:23,680
I'm not going to hurt you.
700
00:48:23,680 --> 00:48:25,720
Now tell me about yourself.
701
00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:28,640
Do you... come here often?
702
00:48:28,760 --> 00:48:30,760
Ug! Now that's enough.
703
00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:34,480
If you can't behave yourself
I'll turn the light on.
704
00:48:34,480 --> 00:48:36,520
Not that I'm a prude, but...
705
00:48:41,080 --> 00:48:43,720
Hello. Changed your mind, have you?
706
00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:48,800
Don't faint now!
707
00:48:48,800 --> 00:48:52,080
Wait till after. Oh, blimey.
708
00:48:52,080 --> 00:48:54,080
(MUMBLES INCOHERENTLY)
709
00:48:54,080 --> 00:48:56,480
Don't you talk any English at all?
710
00:48:56,480 --> 00:48:58,480
Woman. Kiss.
711
00:48:58,480 --> 00:49:01,000
I must say you're very persistent.
712
00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:04,880
All right, then. If you promise
to be a very good boy...
713
00:49:04,880 --> 00:49:06,560
Ug!
714
00:49:06,560 --> 00:49:08,600
Don't go!
715
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:13,360
Poor boy. He'll catch his death.
716
00:49:16,960 --> 00:49:19,000
Oh, my baby!
717
00:49:29,960 --> 00:49:32,000
My baby! My baby boy!
718
00:49:38,560 --> 00:49:40,560
It never rains but it pours.
719
00:49:40,560 --> 00:49:42,560
Mr Boosey, I...
720
00:49:42,560 --> 00:49:45,440
Why do I always
have that effect on them?
721
00:50:05,520 --> 00:50:07,560
CRASH
722
00:50:26,640 --> 00:50:29,680
Hello... what's he up to?
723
00:50:36,160 --> 00:50:38,200
Evelyn?
724
00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:44,800
Evelyn? It's Inigo.
725
00:50:44,800 --> 00:50:46,840
Evelyn!
726
00:50:49,160 --> 00:50:51,160
You're not asleep, are you?
727
00:50:51,160 --> 00:50:54,800
Oh, you're only pretending,
aren't you? Naughty.
728
00:50:54,800 --> 00:50:58,040
I heard you moving about just now.
729
00:50:58,520 --> 00:51:02,240
Oh, Evelyn, you're shy, aren't you?
730
00:51:02,240 --> 00:51:05,880
Oh, Evelyn!
731
00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:09,440
This is not just the beast in me,
you know.
732
00:51:09,600 --> 00:51:11,600
Evelyn,
733
00:51:11,600 --> 00:51:13,560
(GROANS) Oh Evelyn!
734
00:51:13,560 --> 00:51:16,240
I... I know we're all animals
under the skin.
735
00:51:16,240 --> 00:51:18,240
(GRUNTS)
736
00:51:18,240 --> 00:51:20,240
Oh, yes, even you.
737
00:51:20,240 --> 00:51:24,240
Very well. She's not
the only pebble on the beach.
738
00:51:31,920 --> 00:51:33,840
Miss June?
739
00:51:33,840 --> 00:51:37,360
Miss June? It's me, Claude Chumley.
740
00:51:37,360 --> 00:51:40,240
I want to... speak with you.
741
00:51:41,880 --> 00:51:43,920
June?
742
00:51:46,360 --> 00:51:49,760
It's all right.
Look, I'm not going to harm you.
743
00:51:52,120 --> 00:51:54,560
Tickle, tickle, tickle!
744
00:51:54,560 --> 00:51:57,240
Tickle, tickle, tickle! Bull's eye!
745
00:51:57,240 --> 00:52:00,880
Oh, Evelyn, oh what bliss!
746
00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:04,960
Oh, that exotic perfume,
747
00:52:05,720 --> 00:52:08,600
and the feel of your soft,
748
00:52:08,600 --> 00:52:10,640
hairy skin.
749
00:52:12,520 --> 00:52:14,560
Hairy skin?! But...
750
00:52:15,880 --> 00:52:17,920
Stay there, don't move.
751
00:52:18,040 --> 00:52:20,080
Excuse me.
752
00:52:23,120 --> 00:52:25,760
Agghh!
753
00:52:26,760 --> 00:52:28,800
Agghh!
754
00:52:46,120 --> 00:52:48,160
(SNORTS)
755
00:53:04,160 --> 00:53:07,760
Who's that?
I'll take watch. You get some sleep.
756
00:53:07,760 --> 00:53:11,200
Thanks, boss.
Oh, what a night.
757
00:53:13,760 --> 00:53:15,200
DRUMS
758
00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:17,200
Oh, blimey! Me head.
759
00:53:17,200 --> 00:53:20,960
That's not your head, boss.
That's the Nosha drums.
760
00:53:21,320 --> 00:53:23,360
You're right.
761
00:53:24,720 --> 00:53:26,200
You have a quick scout. Nookadicky?
762
00:53:26,200 --> 00:53:28,240
Dickanooky, boss.
763
00:53:30,240 --> 00:53:32,280
What is it? What is happening?
764
00:53:34,400 --> 00:53:38,480
We've got to get out of here.
We'll take bare essentials.
765
00:53:38,480 --> 00:53:41,560
I'm not baring my essentials.
Heaven forbid.
766
00:53:41,560 --> 00:53:44,840
You don't mean we're going back?
Can't you hear those drums?
767
00:53:44,840 --> 00:53:47,280
But what about my little baby boy?
768
00:53:47,440 --> 00:53:51,400
Baby! You mean that walloping thing
in frilly knickers?
769
00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:55,000
They're mine. I tore his off
when he was in my tent.
770
00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:57,040
A nice maternal action, I must say!
771
00:53:57,040 --> 00:53:59,720
Never mind whose knickers they were.
772
00:53:59,720 --> 00:54:01,920
No, I am not going without him.
773
00:54:02,080 --> 00:54:05,480
What about our oozlumbird?
Quite right.
774
00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:08,200
You've only got a feather.
It's probably dead.
775
00:54:08,200 --> 00:54:10,200
We can still stuff it.
776
00:54:10,200 --> 00:54:11,960
A very good idea.
777
00:54:11,960 --> 00:54:14,760
Now, you listen here...
It's stopped.
778
00:54:14,840 --> 00:54:16,880
(CHANTING)
779
00:54:17,560 --> 00:54:19,760
Boss! Boss,
there are many Noshas coming.
780
00:54:19,760 --> 00:54:21,760
How many?
781
00:54:21,760 --> 00:54:23,840
As many as teeth
in the mouth of a crocodile.
782
00:54:23,840 --> 00:54:25,840
How many is that?
783
00:54:25,840 --> 00:54:27,840
Nobody ever stopped
long enough to count them.
784
00:54:27,840 --> 00:54:29,840
We've had it.
785
00:54:29,840 --> 00:54:31,840
Can't we fight them off?
786
00:54:31,840 --> 00:54:33,840
What, that many?
787
00:54:33,840 --> 00:54:35,360
Wait a minute. Get some shovels.
788
00:54:35,360 --> 00:54:37,360
Shovels? What for?
789
00:54:37,360 --> 00:54:41,680
To dig a pit. We dig a dirty great
hole, cover it. They fall in.
790
00:54:41,680 --> 00:54:44,280
It's an old trick
but it never fails.
791
00:54:44,280 --> 00:54:46,320
The Noshas...
792
00:54:48,640 --> 00:54:51,000
All right, let's start digging.
793
00:56:00,720 --> 00:56:04,320
That should do it.
They'll never get out of this.
794
00:56:04,320 --> 00:56:06,320
There's just one thing bothers me.
795
00:56:06,320 --> 00:56:07,840
Yeah, what?
796
00:56:07,840 --> 00:56:09,840
How do we get out of this?
797
00:56:09,840 --> 00:56:11,840
Huh?
798
00:56:11,840 --> 00:56:14,720
Yeah, well, like I said,
it never fails.
799
00:56:16,120 --> 00:56:18,160
Agghh!
800
00:56:29,680 --> 00:56:33,440
CHANTS: Tum tum, tum tum.
801
00:56:33,440 --> 00:56:35,480
ALL CHANT: Tum tum, tum tum.
802
00:56:35,800 --> 00:56:38,960
Tum tum?!
That's their god, boss.
803
00:56:38,960 --> 00:56:42,280
I see. The head of the corporation.
804
00:56:43,800 --> 00:56:45,600
Please yourselves.
805
00:56:45,600 --> 00:56:47,600
What's that big pot?
806
00:56:47,600 --> 00:56:49,000
Probably flatulence.
807
00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:51,480
No, that stewing pot.
808
00:56:51,480 --> 00:56:54,560
What are they going to cook?
Us. We're going in that pot.
809
00:56:54,560 --> 00:56:56,560
Us?
810
00:56:56,560 --> 00:56:59,960
Stewed?!
Not a chance. Stone cold sober.
811
00:56:59,960 --> 00:57:01,960
This is preposterous!
812
00:57:01,960 --> 00:57:07,040
They can't possibly do this to us.
After all, we are British subjects.
813
00:57:07,200 --> 00:57:09,360
They've got no taste.
They'll eat anything.
814
00:57:09,360 --> 00:57:11,560
Surely they wouldn't eat me?!
815
00:57:11,560 --> 00:57:15,680
You especially. Wait till they see
that bit of best rump.
816
00:57:16,560 --> 00:57:18,560
Tum tum!
817
00:57:18,560 --> 00:57:20,600
Tum tum!
818
00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:24,320
Agghh!
What did I tell you?
819
00:57:24,320 --> 00:57:26,920
Can't you do something to stop them?
820
00:57:26,920 --> 00:57:30,800
I'll see. Before you start carving,
you ought to know.
821
00:57:30,800 --> 00:57:32,840
Him great white magic man.
822
00:57:33,120 --> 00:57:35,360
Him doer of marvellous things.
823
00:57:35,360 --> 00:57:39,480
You hurt us, him bring
heap great misfortune down on you.
824
00:57:39,480 --> 00:57:41,840
I like to see his marvellous doings.
825
00:57:41,840 --> 00:57:44,840
Show him your doings.
I beg your pardon?
826
00:57:44,840 --> 00:57:46,800
Show him your doings!
827
00:57:46,800 --> 00:57:50,080
I will not. Show him yours.
He wants to see a bit of magic.
828
00:57:50,080 --> 00:57:52,520
You should have said. Magic? Who?
829
00:57:52,840 --> 00:57:55,320
(MENACINGLY) Show me magic doing.
830
00:57:55,320 --> 00:58:00,240
Magic doings. Oh, dear, he's
insistent, isn't he? Now... Ah...
831
00:58:00,240 --> 00:58:01,880
Wait... This... Uh... Uh, what's...
832
00:58:01,880 --> 00:58:03,520
(CHIMES)
833
00:58:03,520 --> 00:58:05,560
Oh, look! 12 o'clock.
834
00:58:05,560 --> 00:58:09,000
That's it, you've got him going.
835
00:58:28,880 --> 00:58:32,120
Tell you what,
you let us go, you can have it.
836
00:58:37,000 --> 00:58:40,280
You go.
Let's go before he changes his mind.
837
00:58:40,280 --> 00:58:42,280
One moment, please.
838
00:58:42,280 --> 00:58:46,600
I, Tinkle Of The Miraculous Doings
am well pleased with you.
839
00:58:46,600 --> 00:58:50,520
I now call upon the Great Sky Gods
840
00:58:50,520 --> 00:58:53,040
to send down a sign upon you
841
00:58:53,040 --> 00:58:55,160
to show their appreciation.
842
00:58:56,200 --> 00:58:58,240
TARZAN CRY
843
00:59:45,680 --> 00:59:47,720
Seize them!
844
00:59:50,960 --> 00:59:53,000
DRUMS
845
00:59:53,920 --> 00:59:55,920
You and your big mouth.
846
00:59:55,920 --> 01:00:00,520
I, Tinkle Of The Miraculous Doings
call upon the Great Sky Gods.
847
01:00:00,520 --> 01:00:02,160
Blimey!
848
01:00:02,160 --> 01:00:06,840
It's not my fault. What did that
silly idiot drop in like that for?
849
01:00:06,840 --> 01:00:09,720
Don't talk about my baby like that.
He was only trying to help us.
850
01:00:09,720 --> 01:00:12,560
He helped us - right onto the menu.
851
01:00:12,560 --> 01:00:14,480
It did enable June to escape.
852
01:00:14,480 --> 01:00:17,520
And Upsidasi.
Perhaps he's gone for help.
853
01:00:17,520 --> 01:00:20,840
Fat chance.
We'll all be eaten and forgotten.
854
01:00:20,920 --> 01:00:23,960
Oh, the indignity of it all!
855
01:00:23,960 --> 01:00:28,480
I, Professor Tinkle, ornithologist,
trussed like a chicken!
856
01:00:28,480 --> 01:00:31,280
Keep hoping
they don't like stuffing.
857
01:00:31,360 --> 01:00:35,440
Do they just...
drop us into boiling water?
858
01:00:35,440 --> 01:00:38,040
Oh, no, nothing as barbaric as that.
859
01:00:38,040 --> 01:00:40,320
They drain all our blood first.
860
01:00:40,400 --> 01:00:43,640
That's all we need - kosher Noshas.
861
01:00:43,640 --> 01:00:45,680
Tum tum!
862
01:00:46,640 --> 01:00:48,680
ALL: Tum tum!
863
01:00:54,840 --> 01:00:56,880
There he is, the head chef.
864
01:01:18,720 --> 01:01:20,760
White men!
865
01:01:29,120 --> 01:01:31,160
(SHOUTS)
866
01:01:39,520 --> 01:01:42,240
Here we go. One for the pot.
867
01:01:46,240 --> 01:01:49,440
Agghh!
Blimey, double top.
868
01:01:49,440 --> 01:01:50,840
WHOOPING
869
01:01:50,840 --> 01:01:53,320
(SHOUTS)
870
01:02:10,600 --> 01:02:12,640
They will do. Untie them.
871
01:02:13,520 --> 01:02:15,520
Oh. Um...
872
01:02:15,520 --> 01:02:17,880
Excuse me, do you speak English?
873
01:02:17,880 --> 01:02:21,320
It is the language of our king.
It is his wish we speak it.
874
01:02:21,320 --> 01:02:23,320
Oh, how nice.
875
01:02:23,320 --> 01:02:26,480
And who is this king?
Tonka The Great.
876
01:02:26,840 --> 01:02:29,000
Ah. Oh, how very interesting.
877
01:02:29,000 --> 01:02:32,520
Perhaps you'll show us
this Great Tonka of yours.
878
01:02:32,520 --> 01:02:36,040
He is not here.
He is too weak to travel far.
879
01:02:36,040 --> 01:02:39,360
Where does
this Great Tonka of yours hang out?
880
01:02:39,560 --> 01:02:44,080
In our valley beyond the mountains.
It is called Aphrodisia.
881
01:02:44,080 --> 01:02:48,080
Aphrodisia?!
Ah, then you must be Aphrodisiacs.
882
01:02:48,080 --> 01:02:50,720
No. We are known
as the Lubi Dubbies.
883
01:02:50,800 --> 01:02:52,800
I'll second that.
884
01:02:52,800 --> 01:02:57,160
Aphrodisia? Lubi Dubbies.
No, I can't say I've heard of you.
885
01:02:57,160 --> 01:03:00,480
No more questions.
You must save all your strength
886
01:03:00,480 --> 01:03:03,600
for the work that lies ahead.
Work? What work?
887
01:03:03,600 --> 01:03:06,280
There is only one occupation
for men.
888
01:03:06,280 --> 01:03:09,640
What's that?
Why, to mate.
889
01:03:09,640 --> 01:03:12,160
Mate?!
What else?
890
01:03:12,160 --> 01:03:14,920
Oh, mate!
891
01:03:18,720 --> 01:03:20,760
MONKEY CRIES
892
01:03:28,480 --> 01:03:30,520
(CACKLES)
893
01:03:50,560 --> 01:03:52,520
Aphrodisia!
894
01:03:56,360 --> 01:03:58,280
I hope the journey
has not tired you too much.
895
01:03:58,280 --> 01:04:00,680
I'm bearing up very well, thanks.
896
01:04:00,680 --> 01:04:04,480
I should think so too. It's
disgraceful, us lugging them about!
897
01:04:04,480 --> 01:04:06,480
It is neat and proper.
898
01:04:06,480 --> 01:04:09,440
Not for me. Where I come from,
the men carry the women.
899
01:04:09,440 --> 01:04:12,360
That is why you are soft and flabby.
900
01:04:14,080 --> 01:04:18,400
No matter. You will become strong
when you have done some work.
901
01:04:18,400 --> 01:04:21,480
Work?! Doing what, may I ask?
902
01:04:21,480 --> 01:04:23,480
Woman's work - farming,
903
01:04:23,480 --> 01:04:25,480
hunting,
904
01:04:25,480 --> 01:04:28,680
looking after the men,
having children.
905
01:04:28,680 --> 01:04:31,720
What a prospect.
Forward with labour.
906
01:04:31,720 --> 01:04:33,720
Excuse me, miss...
907
01:04:33,720 --> 01:04:35,720
No, no, please do not get up.
908
01:04:35,720 --> 01:04:37,320
Can I help you?
909
01:04:37,320 --> 01:04:39,560
Yes, as a matter of fact you can.
910
01:04:39,560 --> 01:04:43,560
Tell me - this work you are talking
about for us. This...
911
01:04:43,560 --> 01:04:45,560
Mating, yes.
912
01:04:45,560 --> 01:04:48,920
This mating, yes.
Exactly what does it entail?
913
01:04:48,920 --> 01:04:52,720
I don't understand.
Have you not mated before?
914
01:04:52,720 --> 01:04:54,560
Certainly not!
915
01:04:54,560 --> 01:04:57,040
Do not people do it in your country?
916
01:04:57,040 --> 01:05:01,920
Well, I gather there is a bit of it
going on amongst certain classes.
917
01:05:02,600 --> 01:05:05,200
You will be shown what to do.
918
01:05:05,200 --> 01:05:08,400
I know what to do.
But I'm rather particular.
919
01:05:08,400 --> 01:05:11,720
I can't do that
with every Tom, Dick and Harry.
920
01:05:12,120 --> 01:05:17,000
You do not need to worry. There are
no men in Aphrodisia, only women.
921
01:05:17,000 --> 01:05:18,640
No men?
922
01:05:18,640 --> 01:05:23,040
For the last 100 years we have
born nothing but girl children.
923
01:05:23,040 --> 01:05:25,320
The last man died ten years ago.
924
01:05:25,680 --> 01:05:27,800
I can guess what of! (SNORTS)
925
01:05:28,000 --> 01:05:31,120
Wait a minute.
This great Tonka of yours...
926
01:05:31,120 --> 01:05:34,160
Now, tell me - if he's not a man,
927
01:05:34,160 --> 01:05:36,160
he should be a queen.
928
01:05:36,160 --> 01:05:39,440
He is a man, and when
he first came to our valley
929
01:05:39,440 --> 01:05:41,960
we hoped the curse would be broken.
930
01:05:41,960 --> 01:05:44,160
He has tried very hard, but...
931
01:05:45,680 --> 01:05:48,000
That is why we bless your coming.
932
01:05:48,000 --> 01:05:52,200
Excuse me. How many women
have you got down there?
933
01:05:52,240 --> 01:05:55,040
Of mateable age, about 100.
934
01:05:55,040 --> 01:05:58,600
We don't want to waste time here.
Let's get working.
935
01:05:58,600 --> 01:06:00,640
Forward.
936
01:06:09,680 --> 01:06:11,720
CHEERING
937
01:06:31,400 --> 01:06:35,120
Who's first? Hang on,
don't rush, don't rush.
938
01:06:36,920 --> 01:06:39,880
Tonka is coming.
You will stand, please.
939
01:06:40,440 --> 01:06:42,120
Tonka The Great!
940
01:06:42,120 --> 01:06:44,120
ALL: Tonka The Great!
941
01:06:44,120 --> 01:06:46,160
Tonka, Tonka, Tonka.
942
01:06:46,560 --> 01:06:47,840
King Of Lovers...
943
01:06:47,840 --> 01:06:49,800
ALL: King Of Lovers...
944
01:06:49,800 --> 01:06:51,160
Master Of Women...
945
01:06:51,160 --> 01:06:53,080
ALL: Master Of Women...
946
01:06:53,080 --> 01:06:54,840
Father Of Countless.
947
01:06:54,840 --> 01:06:56,920
ALL: Father Of Countless.
948
01:06:58,200 --> 01:06:59,960
Oh, hello!
949
01:06:59,960 --> 01:07:04,360
Walter!
Oh, my God! It's the wife.
950
01:07:06,160 --> 01:07:09,760
You mean you've been here
all these years with...
951
01:07:10,640 --> 01:07:12,680
..all these women!
952
01:07:14,600 --> 01:07:17,200
I can't understand
what you're so upset about.
953
01:07:17,200 --> 01:07:19,200
You can't understand?!
954
01:07:19,200 --> 01:07:23,120
Don't you realise what a shock
and disappointment this has been?
955
01:07:23,120 --> 01:07:25,120
Disappointment?!
956
01:07:25,120 --> 01:07:29,360
All these years I believed
you'd been eaten by a crocodile!
957
01:07:29,360 --> 01:07:31,320
Oh, dear me, no!
958
01:07:31,320 --> 01:07:34,720
Your watch was found
in a crocodile's stomach.
959
01:07:35,000 --> 01:07:37,440
It can't have been mine.
I distinctly remember -
960
01:07:37,440 --> 01:07:40,400
mine was eaten by a Nosha.
961
01:07:40,400 --> 01:07:43,440
How did it get
into a crocodile's stomach?
962
01:07:43,440 --> 01:07:46,080
I wouldn't like to think,
unless it ate the Nosha.
963
01:07:46,080 --> 01:07:48,080
I think I'm going mad.
964
01:07:48,080 --> 01:07:52,080
My dear, surely you didn't come
all this way to tell me that?
965
01:07:52,080 --> 01:07:54,760
No, Walter, will you please explain?
966
01:07:54,760 --> 01:07:56,120
Yes, dear.
967
01:07:56,120 --> 01:07:58,400
What have the Noshas
got to do with it?
968
01:07:58,400 --> 01:08:00,160
You see, I was captured by them.
969
01:08:00,160 --> 01:08:02,080
Captured by them?!
970
01:08:02,080 --> 01:08:06,320
You remember the morning baby
and I set out for our walkies?
971
01:08:06,320 --> 01:08:09,240
'I was jaunting along
quite happily...'
972
01:08:09,240 --> 01:08:11,840
Isn't he
a lucky little babsy wabsy
973
01:08:11,840 --> 01:08:14,960
to go huntsy wuntsy
with brave dadsy wadsy?
974
01:08:14,960 --> 01:08:17,000
Yes, he is, den.
975
01:08:18,200 --> 01:08:20,200
What's the matter, den?
976
01:08:20,200 --> 01:08:24,040
Is babsy wabsy
sitting on something uncomfortable?
977
01:08:24,560 --> 01:08:26,600
Yes, he is, den.
978
01:08:27,600 --> 01:08:30,280
Poor mumsy wumsy must have forgotten
979
01:08:30,280 --> 01:08:32,960
to put babsy wabsy
on the potsy wotsy.
980
01:08:32,960 --> 01:08:35,280
Yes, she did den, the lazy cow...
981
01:08:35,280 --> 01:08:37,280
..sy wosy!
982
01:08:37,280 --> 01:08:39,600
Der den. Dadsy wadsy will have to
983
01:08:39,600 --> 01:08:43,160
give mumsy wumsy a smacksy wacksy,
won't he, den?
984
01:08:43,160 --> 01:08:46,360
Yes, he will, den.
Round the chopsy wopsies.
985
01:08:46,360 --> 01:08:48,360
Oh! Shush.
986
01:08:48,360 --> 01:08:51,600
Don't make a sound.
I've just seen a whopper!
987
01:08:52,400 --> 01:08:56,760
Stay there and be a good diddums,
and dadsy wadsy will bag it.
988
01:09:08,320 --> 01:09:11,320
Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
I didn't know you were there.
989
01:09:11,320 --> 01:09:13,040
Ugghh!
990
01:09:13,040 --> 01:09:16,880
Oh, you weren't there.
Never mind, keep on trying.
991
01:09:17,840 --> 01:09:19,840
The next time I knew,
992
01:09:19,840 --> 01:09:21,840
there was 100 of them,
993
01:09:21,840 --> 01:09:23,040
and I was in it up to here.
994
01:09:23,040 --> 01:09:25,240
In what?
In the stew pot.
995
01:09:25,240 --> 01:09:28,040
And baby?
Just me and a few turnips.
996
01:09:28,040 --> 01:09:30,040
What happened to baby?
997
01:09:30,040 --> 01:09:33,600
I don't really know.
These dear ladies rescued me
998
01:09:33,600 --> 01:09:36,960
as I was coming to the boil,
and brought me here.
999
01:09:36,960 --> 01:09:39,680
That was 20 years ago!
Haven't you tried to find him?
1000
01:09:39,680 --> 01:09:41,360
I have been busy.
1001
01:09:41,360 --> 01:09:44,160
I know what doing. King Of Lovers!
Purely an arbitrary title -
1002
01:09:44,160 --> 01:09:46,160
Master Of Women.
1003
01:09:46,160 --> 01:09:48,160
Just a hereditary title.
Father Of Countless.
1004
01:09:48,160 --> 01:09:50,160
It goes with the job, dear.
1005
01:09:50,160 --> 01:09:53,200
You can add another.
Stinker Of Stinkers!
1006
01:09:53,200 --> 01:09:56,360
I say! Have I offended you
about something?
1007
01:09:56,440 --> 01:10:01,920
It might interest you to know that
while you have been wallowing in sin
1008
01:10:01,920 --> 01:10:04,840
I have seen our baby boy.
Really?!
1009
01:10:04,840 --> 01:10:08,360
Only yesterday.
Oh, well, I never!
1010
01:10:08,360 --> 01:10:10,520
I hope you remembered
to change his nappy.
1011
01:10:10,520 --> 01:10:12,880
He's a fully grown man, you fool!
1012
01:10:13,480 --> 01:10:17,400
Now he's gone again,
and I don't know where he is, or...
1013
01:10:17,440 --> 01:10:19,480
or what he's doing.
1014
01:10:20,240 --> 01:10:22,280
Weed.
1015
01:10:22,440 --> 01:10:24,480
Seed.
1016
01:10:24,840 --> 01:10:26,880
Feed.
1017
01:10:26,880 --> 01:10:28,880
Lead.
1018
01:10:28,880 --> 01:10:30,880
Bed.
1019
01:10:30,880 --> 01:10:32,920
No, no, no. Bead.
1020
01:10:34,080 --> 01:10:36,120
Bed.
1021
01:10:36,720 --> 01:10:38,760
Oh, dear! Here we go again.
1022
01:10:43,280 --> 01:10:46,120
Look, will you stop it?
Will you stop it?
1023
01:10:46,120 --> 01:10:49,960
I'm old enough to undress myself.
Get away! Get away!
1024
01:10:50,120 --> 01:10:52,120
Now get away! Please!
1025
01:10:52,120 --> 01:10:54,120
Oh...
1026
01:10:54,120 --> 01:10:55,680
Hello. Are you having trouble?
1027
01:10:55,680 --> 01:10:58,600
Yes, I am.
Please, whatever your name is!
1028
01:10:58,600 --> 01:11:02,000
Tell them to stop trying
to take my clothes off.
1029
01:11:03,320 --> 01:11:05,040
They're your attendants.
1030
01:11:05,040 --> 01:11:08,080
I'm not having young women
undressing me.
1031
01:11:08,080 --> 01:11:10,280
I don't think they know
where everything goes.
1032
01:11:10,280 --> 01:11:12,320
You want to bet?
1033
01:11:13,240 --> 01:11:14,880
What's he beefing for? I enjoyed it.
1034
01:11:14,880 --> 01:11:16,920
Yes, and it showed.
1035
01:11:17,040 --> 01:11:19,960
All right, girls, off you go.
Come, come.
1036
01:11:19,960 --> 01:11:21,960
Over-zealous.
1037
01:11:21,960 --> 01:11:26,640
You have to get your mating robe on.
There is a ceremony this evening.
1038
01:11:26,640 --> 01:11:28,680
Oh ho! Straight to work, eh?
1039
01:11:28,760 --> 01:11:32,840
There's nothing like a good
honest night's work, is there?
1040
01:11:32,840 --> 01:11:35,680
Tell me, please -
this mating ceremony,
1041
01:11:35,680 --> 01:11:38,360
what's it like, eh?
1042
01:11:38,360 --> 01:11:42,800
It's like a marriage, to the mate
who's been selected for you.
1043
01:11:42,800 --> 01:11:44,640
Marriage?!
1044
01:11:44,640 --> 01:11:46,840
We get lumbered with one woman?
1045
01:11:46,840 --> 01:11:51,240
Until tomorrow. Then you get
a divorce and marry another one.
1046
01:11:51,240 --> 01:11:53,240
Another one?!
1047
01:11:53,240 --> 01:11:57,360
That's right. Then the following day
another, and so on.
1048
01:11:57,480 --> 01:12:01,560
Yes. Well, after two weeks of that,
it'll need sewing on.
1049
01:12:01,560 --> 01:12:03,680
It's great fun
once you get used to it.
1050
01:12:03,680 --> 01:12:06,440
Uh, excuse me, sir.
1051
01:12:06,440 --> 01:12:09,880
I don't want you to think
I'm complaining at all.
1052
01:12:09,880 --> 01:12:12,760
I've always been
an active sort of chap,
1053
01:12:12,760 --> 01:12:17,280
and what I'm getting at is I don't
think I'm active enough to...
1054
01:12:17,280 --> 01:12:18,880
get married every day.
1055
01:12:18,880 --> 01:12:21,320
Oh, not every day!
1056
01:12:21,320 --> 01:12:24,760
Dear me, no.
Oh. Oh, that's all right, then.
1057
01:12:24,760 --> 01:12:27,040
You get every other Sunday off.
1058
01:12:28,560 --> 01:12:30,560
Oh... by the way,
1059
01:12:30,560 --> 01:12:32,960
you won't try to escape, will you?
1060
01:12:32,960 --> 01:12:36,120
These women can get very nasty.
1061
01:12:36,120 --> 01:12:38,160
Escape? You must be joking!
1062
01:12:38,640 --> 01:12:41,520
Good luck.
I'll see you at the ceremony.
1063
01:12:45,120 --> 01:12:47,600
And what is so amusing?
1064
01:12:47,600 --> 01:12:52,240
I was thinking of jungle boy.
He doesn't know what he's missing.
1065
01:12:52,240 --> 01:12:54,040
One,
1066
01:12:54,040 --> 01:12:55,840
two,
1067
01:12:55,840 --> 01:12:57,640
three,
1068
01:12:57,640 --> 01:12:59,440
four,
1069
01:12:59,440 --> 01:13:01,400
five,
1070
01:13:01,400 --> 01:13:02,800
sex.
1071
01:13:02,800 --> 01:13:05,360
I wonder if we'll ever get to seven?
1072
01:13:06,200 --> 01:13:08,240
CEREMONIAL MUSIC
1073
01:13:15,320 --> 01:13:18,760
I've decided there are going to be
some changes around here.
1074
01:13:18,760 --> 01:13:21,160
I do change them very frequently.
1075
01:13:21,160 --> 01:13:23,680
We know all about that. From now on,
1076
01:13:23,680 --> 01:13:27,680
Father of Countless, you are going
to be husband of one.
1077
01:13:27,680 --> 01:13:32,480
Oh... But I thought I ought to
take part in just one more ceremony
1078
01:13:32,480 --> 01:13:35,520
to show the three new chaps
just what to do.
1079
01:13:35,520 --> 01:13:38,480
From my experience
they already know.
1080
01:13:38,480 --> 01:13:42,920
Yes, but it is a very difficult
and complicated ritual.
1081
01:13:42,920 --> 01:13:47,000
Not when I knew you it wasn't.
Now, leave yourself out.
1082
01:13:48,920 --> 01:13:52,560
ALL: Tonka, Tonka,
stick it up your honka.
1083
01:13:52,560 --> 01:13:54,600
FARTING SOUND
1084
01:14:07,600 --> 01:14:10,040
Behold the symbol of perpetuity.
1085
01:14:12,760 --> 01:14:16,520
By gad, sir, it's the oozlumbird.
1086
01:14:16,520 --> 01:14:19,880
Yes, and the male specimen to hoot.
1087
01:14:20,920 --> 01:14:23,520
Oh, I can clearly see its oozle.
1088
01:14:23,520 --> 01:14:26,360
Quiet, please.
Face the mating booths.
1089
01:14:30,400 --> 01:14:33,680
It is written that man
is the fountain of life.
1090
01:14:33,680 --> 01:14:35,960
ALL: Man is the fountain of life.
1091
01:14:35,960 --> 01:14:38,960
Without him,
women are as dried-up gardens.
1092
01:14:38,960 --> 01:14:41,560
ALL: Women are as dried-up gardens.
1093
01:14:41,560 --> 01:14:43,840
They can use my sprinkler any time.
1094
01:14:43,840 --> 01:14:45,960
You will be serious, please.
1095
01:14:50,680 --> 01:14:53,680
Take it.
What for?
1096
01:14:53,680 --> 01:14:55,760
It is the symbol of marriage.
1097
01:14:55,760 --> 01:14:57,800
I might have guessed.
1098
01:15:01,000 --> 01:15:03,000
Oh, yes? And what is this?
1099
01:15:03,000 --> 01:15:05,080
The symbol of fruitfulness.
1100
01:15:05,080 --> 01:15:07,120
Ask a silly question...
1101
01:15:14,360 --> 01:15:16,360
Yes.
1102
01:15:16,360 --> 01:15:18,480
Who on earth thought up this?
1103
01:15:18,600 --> 01:15:20,120
I did, as a matter of fact.
1104
01:15:20,120 --> 01:15:22,120
I might have known.
1105
01:15:22,120 --> 01:15:24,920
Make your responses after me,
please.
1106
01:15:25,240 --> 01:15:28,680
William Boosey, Inigo Tinkle,
Claude Chumley,
1107
01:15:28,680 --> 01:15:30,560
are you ready to assume
a husband's duties?
1108
01:15:30,560 --> 01:15:32,600
BOTH: We are ready.
1109
01:15:32,960 --> 01:15:35,360
Will you perform them
to the best of your ability?
1110
01:15:35,360 --> 01:15:37,280
BOTH: We will.
1111
01:15:37,280 --> 01:15:40,080
I now pronounce you
ready and willing.
1112
01:15:47,280 --> 01:15:50,000
Behold your mates.
1113
01:15:52,080 --> 01:15:54,080
Blimey, who chose that lot?
1114
01:15:54,080 --> 01:15:56,120
Our new queen, Evelyn.
1115
01:15:57,520 --> 01:15:59,560
They're all yours.
1116
01:16:00,160 --> 01:16:02,480
Hang on, hang on! No, no...
1117
01:16:02,480 --> 01:16:04,280
Oh, pity, pity!
1118
01:16:04,280 --> 01:16:06,280
I resign!
1119
01:16:06,280 --> 01:16:08,360
Please, I'm in the wrong job!
1120
01:16:08,360 --> 01:16:12,280
Oh, put me on the dole!
Oh no! Agghh! Perfidy, perfidy!
1121
01:16:18,280 --> 01:16:24,000
It's been a lovely three months, but
I keep worrying about Lady Bagley.
1122
01:16:24,000 --> 01:16:26,800
No good to worry.
With those bad men,
1123
01:16:26,800 --> 01:16:30,320
by now they all be dead as toenails.
1124
01:16:30,320 --> 01:16:32,360
Doornails!
1125
01:16:32,800 --> 01:16:35,760
Maybe, but just suppose
they did escape.
1126
01:16:36,480 --> 01:16:39,320
After all, she is your mother,
you know.
1127
01:16:39,320 --> 01:16:42,920
Mother, yes.
Like you say, she gave bath to me.
1128
01:16:42,920 --> 01:16:44,920
Birth.
1129
01:16:44,920 --> 01:16:46,920
She gave birth to me too?
1130
01:16:46,920 --> 01:16:51,520
Yes! I think we ought to try and
find out what's happened to them.
1131
01:16:51,520 --> 01:16:54,440
All right.
You wish we go look, we go look.
1132
01:16:54,440 --> 01:16:56,440
That's a good boy.
1133
01:16:56,440 --> 01:16:58,440
But before we go,
1134
01:16:58,440 --> 01:17:00,440
we just do it one more time.
1135
01:17:00,440 --> 01:17:03,320
Not again, Ug.
Yes, yes, please do.
1136
01:17:03,320 --> 01:17:06,000
There's no satisfying you, is there?
1137
01:17:06,000 --> 01:17:08,600
The more I do it
the more I get batter.
1138
01:17:08,600 --> 01:17:12,160
Better... All right, then,
just once more.
1139
01:17:14,880 --> 01:17:16,920
A poem.
1140
01:17:17,320 --> 01:17:19,720
Mary had a little lamb,
1141
01:17:19,720 --> 01:17:22,720
it's fleas was white -
No, no, no. Fleece.
1142
01:17:22,720 --> 01:17:24,720
Sorry.
1143
01:17:24,720 --> 01:17:27,280
It's fleece was white as snow,
1144
01:17:27,280 --> 01:17:30,600
and everywhere that Mary went
1145
01:17:30,600 --> 01:17:33,240
the lamb was sure to go.
1146
01:17:33,760 --> 01:17:35,760
There. Was batter?
1147
01:17:35,760 --> 01:17:37,760
Much batter.
1148
01:17:37,760 --> 01:17:40,360
Oh, dear!
Now you've got me doing it.
1149
01:17:40,360 --> 01:17:45,440
Now we go look for mutter
who give me birth and bath.
1150
01:17:49,440 --> 01:17:52,360
Oh, do we have to go that way out?
1151
01:17:52,360 --> 01:17:55,600
Not to worry, I show you.
You hold to me tight.
1152
01:17:59,920 --> 01:18:02,360
There. Perfect, no?
1153
01:18:03,080 --> 01:18:05,120
Agghh!
1154
01:18:26,680 --> 01:18:28,720
Wake up, wake up!
1155
01:18:29,360 --> 01:18:30,760
Come on, wake!
1156
01:18:30,760 --> 01:18:33,000
Oh, not today, dear, thank you.
1157
01:18:33,000 --> 01:18:35,000
Wake. This is important.
1158
01:18:35,000 --> 01:18:37,040
Wake her too.
1159
01:18:37,680 --> 01:18:39,680
Uh! What's going on?
1160
01:18:39,680 --> 01:18:43,160
What are you doing?
Nice way to treat your queen!
1161
01:18:43,320 --> 01:18:45,320
You are no longer our queen.
1162
01:18:45,320 --> 01:18:47,320
I am taking over.
1163
01:18:47,320 --> 01:18:50,560
What, with him?
No, alone.
1164
01:18:50,560 --> 01:18:53,240
Since you came,
he's been useless to us.
1165
01:18:53,240 --> 01:18:56,120
He hasn't been
a ball of fire to me either.
1166
01:18:56,120 --> 01:18:59,640
Don't blame me. You have
too good an extinguisher.
1167
01:18:59,640 --> 01:19:01,280
How dare you?!
1168
01:19:01,280 --> 01:19:03,960
From now on you'll work
with the women.
1169
01:19:03,960 --> 01:19:05,960
Tonka will work with the men.
1170
01:19:11,240 --> 01:19:15,640
Hello.
Well, I'm joining you chaps now.
1171
01:19:15,640 --> 01:19:18,560
I'm no longer king.
She is the new leader.
1172
01:19:18,560 --> 01:19:23,440
As your new leader, I'm dissatisfied
with the results of your work.
1173
01:19:23,440 --> 01:19:27,080
You want to try giving us
better materials to work with.
1174
01:19:27,080 --> 01:19:29,080
See that it improves.
1175
01:19:29,080 --> 01:19:30,760
There is a mating ceremony
in one hour.
1176
01:19:30,760 --> 01:19:33,040
(ALL GROAN)
1177
01:19:33,040 --> 01:19:36,440
(SLURS) But this is our Sunday off.
1178
01:19:36,440 --> 01:19:38,240
There will be no more Sundays off.
1179
01:19:38,240 --> 01:19:40,240
No, no!
1180
01:19:40,240 --> 01:19:44,040
We're not standing for it.
You can push us just so far!
1181
01:19:44,040 --> 01:19:46,360
You threaten me? What can you do?
1182
01:19:46,360 --> 01:19:49,560
What can we do? What can't we do?
1183
01:19:49,560 --> 01:19:52,840
We have already discovered
what you can't do.
1184
01:19:52,840 --> 01:19:55,000
Oh, she is a miserable leader.
1185
01:19:55,000 --> 01:19:58,320
There's only one thing we can do -
go on strike.
1186
01:19:58,360 --> 01:20:01,640
What is the meaning of this?
We down tools.
1187
01:20:01,640 --> 01:20:04,400
You will refuse to work?
Definitely.
1188
01:20:04,400 --> 01:20:06,880
We have ways of making you work.
1189
01:20:09,320 --> 01:20:13,120
Like this, for example -
fresh oysters from our lake.
1190
01:20:13,120 --> 01:20:15,160
Oysters? They're no good.
1191
01:20:15,160 --> 01:20:17,320
They are known to be beneficial.
1192
01:20:17,320 --> 01:20:21,160
Rubbish. I had a dozen last night
and only five worked.
1193
01:20:21,160 --> 01:20:23,200
We shall see in one hour.
1194
01:20:25,400 --> 01:20:27,400
No!
1195
01:20:27,400 --> 01:20:29,920
Agghh! I can't go through any more!
1196
01:20:29,920 --> 01:20:32,600
I've got to get out of here.
Let me out!
1197
01:20:32,600 --> 01:20:35,360
Control yourself. Chumley, Chumley!
1198
01:20:35,360 --> 01:20:38,800
I can't help it. I've come
to the end of my tether.
1199
01:20:38,800 --> 01:20:41,480
You're lucky.
I can't even find mine.
1200
01:20:41,480 --> 01:20:43,480
It's like a factory!
1201
01:20:43,480 --> 01:20:45,480
All right, all right!
1202
01:20:45,480 --> 01:20:47,880
There's no sense running amuck.
1203
01:20:47,880 --> 01:20:51,000
He's terrible when his muck
starts to run.
1204
01:20:51,000 --> 01:20:55,880
I think he's right. I couldn't take
on any more of those battleaxes.
1205
01:20:56,000 --> 01:21:00,040
I know how you feel. It's a novelty
to begin with, but it wears off.
1206
01:21:00,040 --> 01:21:02,040
Ugggh, ugghh, ugghh!
1207
01:21:02,040 --> 01:21:04,040
Can't we make a run for....
1208
01:21:04,040 --> 01:21:07,040
Can't we make a crawl for it?
1209
01:21:07,040 --> 01:21:09,640
Anything would be better than this.
1210
01:21:09,640 --> 01:21:12,440
And get killed?!
Except that.
1211
01:21:12,440 --> 01:21:14,360
There must be a way out.
1212
01:21:16,360 --> 01:21:18,400
Look at that one!
1213
01:21:19,800 --> 01:21:22,360
If I get her I've had it.
1214
01:21:29,240 --> 01:21:31,760
Upsidasi?
Yes, boss. See?
1215
01:21:31,760 --> 01:21:33,760
Blimey, that's a twist!
1216
01:21:33,760 --> 01:21:37,640
After I escape I see people
capture you, so I go for help,
1217
01:21:37,640 --> 01:21:39,080
bring many soldiers.
1218
01:21:39,080 --> 01:21:41,000
Good lad. Where are they?
1219
01:21:41,000 --> 01:21:43,600
As the crow flies, round the corner,
1220
01:21:43,600 --> 01:21:46,280
up a hill and under a waterfall.
How many soldiers?
1221
01:21:46,280 --> 01:21:48,440
As many as feet on a centipede.
1222
01:21:48,440 --> 01:21:50,440
100?
No, ten.
1223
01:21:50,440 --> 01:21:52,440
Well, go and get them.
1224
01:21:52,440 --> 01:21:55,280
We've got to pick the right moment.
1225
01:21:55,280 --> 01:21:58,000
When they let us out
for the ceremony.
1226
01:21:58,160 --> 01:22:02,240
Get them in position,
wait for my signal, and we get away.
1227
01:22:02,240 --> 01:22:03,920
Nookadicky?
1228
01:22:03,920 --> 01:22:06,840
Dickanooky. What signal?
Elephant call.
1229
01:22:06,840 --> 01:22:08,840
I know, boss. Like this...
1230
01:22:08,840 --> 01:22:10,880
Agghh! Agghh!
1231
01:22:18,360 --> 01:22:20,720
Behold the symbol of perpetuity.
1232
01:22:23,680 --> 01:22:25,720
# Rule Britannia
1233
01:22:27,920 --> 01:22:29,440
Face the mating booths.
1234
01:22:29,440 --> 01:22:31,480
Now?
1235
01:22:32,080 --> 01:22:34,120
Wait till a bit later.
1236
01:22:39,440 --> 01:22:41,760
Thank goodness, they're alive!
1237
01:22:41,760 --> 01:22:43,800
Yes, they fine.
1238
01:22:44,680 --> 01:22:46,920
Oh, no! Ug, look down there.
1239
01:22:48,720 --> 01:22:50,800
Oh, Ug, we must do something!
1240
01:22:50,800 --> 01:22:53,320
Don't worry, I think of something.
1241
01:22:53,320 --> 01:22:55,600
I now pronounce you
ready and willing.
1242
01:22:55,600 --> 01:22:58,240
Get ready.
1243
01:22:58,240 --> 01:23:02,360
I know. I call my animal friends.
1244
01:23:02,360 --> 01:23:04,200
Behold your mates.
1245
01:23:05,640 --> 01:23:07,680
Blimey!
1246
01:23:09,520 --> 01:23:11,040
Well?
1247
01:23:11,040 --> 01:23:14,200
Well... Come to think of it, perhaps
1248
01:23:14,200 --> 01:23:16,120
this is not the right moment.
1249
01:23:16,120 --> 01:23:20,240
I agree.
You've talked me into it.
1250
01:23:21,720 --> 01:23:23,760
ELEPHANT SIGNAL
1251
01:23:24,080 --> 01:23:26,120
That is the signal.
1252
01:23:26,280 --> 01:23:28,200
That wasn't me. Stop it!
1253
01:23:35,960 --> 01:23:37,720
(MAKES ELEPHANT CALL)
1254
01:23:41,800 --> 01:23:45,040
Oh, no!
No, we don't want to be saved.
1255
01:23:46,640 --> 01:23:49,640
Isn't this sickening?
We'll have to go now.
1256
01:23:49,640 --> 01:23:52,560
I'm not going without my bird.
No, nor am I.
1257
01:23:52,560 --> 01:23:54,880
(CALLS)
(ELEPHANTS TRUMPET)
1258
01:23:54,880 --> 01:23:59,320
They come.
I have the oozlum.
1259
01:23:59,320 --> 01:24:02,640
Never mind that. Where's Tonka?
Coming.
1260
01:24:02,640 --> 01:24:04,680
Oh no, you don't!
1261
01:24:12,480 --> 01:24:14,520
What's that?
1262
01:24:16,080 --> 01:24:18,120
Elephants!
1263
01:24:21,360 --> 01:24:23,800
(SHOUTS)
1264
01:24:46,680 --> 01:24:48,840
My friends, they do good, yes?
1265
01:24:48,840 --> 01:24:52,080
You stupid great ape!
They came to rescue us!
1266
01:24:52,560 --> 01:24:54,960
The men have escaped! After them.
1267
01:24:54,960 --> 01:24:57,000
Run!
1268
01:25:09,800 --> 01:25:14,000
Wait. Take these back
and look after them well.
1269
01:25:14,000 --> 01:25:16,960
Yes. And the others?
Let them go.
1270
01:25:16,960 --> 01:25:19,040
At last we have some real men.
1271
01:25:19,040 --> 01:25:21,040
Real men?!
1272
01:25:21,040 --> 01:25:23,080
Oh, may she be forgiven!
1273
01:25:29,400 --> 01:25:31,400
We're safe.
1274
01:25:31,400 --> 01:25:33,400
Safe!
1275
01:25:33,400 --> 01:25:37,160
And it's all your doing, my baby!
1276
01:25:37,960 --> 01:25:39,960
And so, as the son
1277
01:25:39,960 --> 01:25:43,760
sank slowly into the chest,
1278
01:25:44,680 --> 01:25:49,680
we bade a fond farewell
to Aphrodisia
1279
01:25:49,680 --> 01:25:52,600
and its over-hospitable people.
1280
01:25:52,600 --> 01:25:54,600
And now we come to the moment
1281
01:25:54,600 --> 01:25:58,080
that you have all
undoubtedly been waiting for -
1282
01:25:58,320 --> 01:26:01,200
ladies and gentlemen,
the oozlumbird.
1283
01:26:02,160 --> 01:26:04,160
GASPS
1284
01:26:04,160 --> 01:26:08,640
It's gone!
Oh, where did it disappear to?
85378
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