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Previously on Young Sheldon...
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Hi, Pastor Jeff, can you
come over right now?
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I need you to save someone's soul.
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00:00:07,750 --> 00:00:09,370
- JEFF: Amen.
- (MARY GASPS)
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In your face, Catholics.
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00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:14,000
I baptize you in the name of the Father
7
00:00:14,050 --> 00:00:15,790
and the Son
8
00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:17,900
and the Holy Spirit, amen.
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- Amen.
- MANDY: You know, I'm not a lawyer,
10
00:00:19,895 --> 00:00:20,899
but you could make the argument
11
00:00:20,900 --> 00:00:23,010
that my child was kidnapped twice.
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00:00:23,065 --> 00:00:25,050
Well, there have to be consequences.
13
00:00:25,051 --> 00:00:26,799
How do you feel about
coming down to City Hall
14
00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:28,403
to witness me and Georgie get married?
15
00:00:28,404 --> 00:00:29,612
What about your parents?
16
00:00:29,613 --> 00:00:31,447
We're really not gonna invite our folks?
17
00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:34,230
A spite wedding. I had one of those.
18
00:00:34,285 --> 00:00:35,850
Let me get my purse.
19
00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:41,570
GEORGE JR.: Hey, little girl.
20
00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:43,950
In a few minutes, you're
gonna be legitimate.
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You saying she's illegitimate?
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00:00:46,005 --> 00:00:48,700
Not me, just, you know, everybody.
23
00:00:48,701 --> 00:00:50,579
If you want to smack him,
I'll hold the baby.
24
00:00:50,580 --> 00:00:51,970
Nah, it's okay.
25
00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:54,080
Well, just in case.
26
00:00:54,138 --> 00:00:55,790
- (LAUGHS)
- MARY: Wait!
27
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,380
- Wait!
- What are they doing here?
28
00:00:58,381 --> 00:01:01,189
MEEMAW: I told them,
and you can't smack me
29
00:01:01,190 --> 00:01:02,570
'cause I'm holding the baby.
30
00:01:03,260 --> 00:01:06,260
- Did we miss it?
- No, we're still waiting.
31
00:01:06,317 --> 00:01:07,890
I told you we didn't need to run.
32
00:01:08,980 --> 00:01:10,960
I know you're mad at me, and I am sorry,
33
00:01:10,961 --> 00:01:12,889
but can we please be a
part of this wedding?
34
00:01:12,890 --> 00:01:14,810
Yes, please. I only have one brother.
35
00:01:14,860 --> 00:01:16,950
- What about Sheldon?
- Yeah.
36
00:01:17,238 --> 00:01:19,329
Fine.
37
00:01:19,330 --> 00:01:21,650
- (EXHALES): Oh.
- Cooper-McAllister?
38
00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:23,080
- Right here.
- You're up.
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00:01:24,010 --> 00:01:25,070
AUDREY: Wait!
40
00:01:25,127 --> 00:01:26,290
Wait.
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00:01:29,630 --> 00:01:30,680
Wasn't me.
42
00:01:30,690 --> 00:01:32,550
It was me. I called your dad.
43
00:01:32,551 --> 00:01:34,499
Oh, that's a long hallway.
44
00:01:34,500 --> 00:01:36,670
- And those steps in front?
- Brutal.
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AUDREY: Please, let us be part of this.
46
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What do you think?
47
00:01:42,061 --> 00:01:44,171
Oh, I think we're thinking
the same thing.
48
00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:45,810
You can stay.
49
00:01:45,856 --> 00:01:47,220
(SIGHS)
50
00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:49,030
- Come on.
- Are you gonna be okay?
51
00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:51,320
Yeah, yeah. Maybe.
52
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Aww.
53
00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:57,810
What's wrong?
54
00:01:57,811 --> 00:01:59,879
No, it's just, I wanted to
walk you down the aisle,
55
00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:01,360
but there's no aisle.
56
00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:02,990
Um, hang on.
57
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(SOFTLY): Come on.
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00:02:09,940 --> 00:02:11,790
? ?
59
00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:16,230
- Thank you.
- Take care of my little girl.
60
00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:18,340
- Yes, sir.
- All right.
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00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:23,630
All right. Let's get started.
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00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:26,550
Could you show a little
respect and stand up?
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00:02:26,605 --> 00:02:28,640
One of those.
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00:02:30,940 --> 00:02:32,750
George Marshall Cooper Jr.,
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00:02:32,770 --> 00:02:35,100
do you take Amanda Elizabeth McAllister
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00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,190
to be your lawfully wedded wife?
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I do.
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00:02:38,292 --> 00:02:41,077
LYNDON: Amanda Elizabeth McAllister,
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00:02:41,078 --> 00:02:42,769
do you take George Marshall Cooper Jr.
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00:02:42,770 --> 00:02:44,372
to be your lawfully wedded husband?
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00:02:44,373 --> 00:02:45,423
I do.
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00:02:45,601 --> 00:02:48,639
LYNDON: By the power vested in me
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by the great state of Texas,
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I now pronounce you husband and wife.
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- (LAUGHS)
- You may kiss the bride.
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(APPLAUSE)
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You can sit down now.
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00:02:58,137 --> 00:03:00,990
? Nobody else is stronger than I am ?
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00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:03,710
? Yesterday I moved a mountain ?
80
00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:06,510
? I bet I could be your hero ?
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? I am a mighty little man ?
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? I am a mighty little man. ?
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(MUSIC PLAYING SOFTLY)
84
00:03:20,530 --> 00:03:22,640
I can't believe they
gave us the train car.
85
00:03:22,690 --> 00:03:25,360
Well, my dad slipped the
conductor five bucks.
86
00:03:25,361 --> 00:03:26,909
- Classy.
- So, what are you thinking?
87
00:03:26,910 --> 00:03:28,916
Couple buckets of
spaghetti for the table?
88
00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:32,000
Sure. Y-Yeah... and we're
gonna split the tab.
89
00:03:32,050 --> 00:03:33,240
It's all right, I got it.
90
00:03:33,297 --> 00:03:34,450
Uh, Jim, come on.
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We didn't pay for a wedding,
92
00:03:36,140 --> 00:03:37,830
we can spring for some spaghetti.
93
00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:40,330
- I-In a bucket.
- We know.
94
00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:42,170
I-I'm happy to chip in.
95
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,380
No, no. No, this is between me and him.
96
00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:47,300
- And we're splitting it.
- Dad, we're poor. Let him pay.
97
00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:48,550
We are not poor.
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00:03:48,604 --> 00:03:50,260
Wouldn't matter either way.
99
00:03:50,314 --> 00:03:52,050
But we're not.
100
00:03:52,107 --> 00:03:55,680
- (GLASS CLINKING)
- (CLEARS THROAT)
101
00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:58,240
I would like to propose a toast...
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00:03:59,198 --> 00:04:01,730
... to Mandy and Georgie.
103
00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:06,200
Your relationship started
out with lies and deceit,
104
00:04:06,250 --> 00:04:08,490
which usually happens
later on in marriage.
105
00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:09,650
Where is this going?
106
00:04:09,708 --> 00:04:14,700
But you two got it out of
the way right up front.
107
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:17,040
So I think the odds are in your favor...
108
00:04:17,890 --> 00:04:22,840
... for having a lifetime
of love and happiness.
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00:04:22,890 --> 00:04:26,380
To Mandy and Georgie...
110
00:04:28,050 --> 00:04:29,530
... and CeeCee.
111
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:34,220
Way to bring it home, baby.
112
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,720
I can do heartfelt.
113
00:04:36,390 --> 00:04:38,410
- Hello.
- Oh, good, you're here.
114
00:04:38,411 --> 00:04:40,696
Oh, thank you for bringing
him, Dr. Linkletter.
115
00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:42,270
Well, you hungry? Have a seat.
116
00:04:42,271 --> 00:04:44,829
Well, I do have a half can of
tuna waiting for me at home,
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00:04:44,830 --> 00:04:46,900
but what the hay?
118
00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:50,310
So, you and my brother got
married and no one invited me?
119
00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:52,530
Sorry, it was kind of
a last-minute thing.
120
00:04:52,531 --> 00:04:53,599
No, I was thanking you.
121
00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:55,837
I hope that, someday, my sister
won't invite me to her wedding.
122
00:04:55,838 --> 00:04:57,180
- I won't.
- Thank you.
123
00:04:57,230 --> 00:04:58,870
Here we are.
124
00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:01,040
Grab a shovel and dig in.
125
00:05:03,570 --> 00:05:04,670
There you go.
126
00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:08,340
I spent the summer in Italy once.
127
00:05:08,392 --> 00:05:09,652
Bringing back memories?
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00:05:10,190 --> 00:05:11,320
No.
129
00:05:11,370 --> 00:05:13,010
(GLASS CLINKING)
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00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:17,140
Amanda, Georgie,
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since your father and I didn't get
to give you a proper wedding,
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00:05:20,950 --> 00:05:22,890
we'd like to pay for a honeymoon.
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00:05:22,948 --> 00:05:24,810
(GASPS) Wow, really?
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00:05:24,867 --> 00:05:26,150
Should we offer to split... ?
135
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,460
Mr. McAllister, really appreciate it,
136
00:05:29,510 --> 00:05:31,320
but that's not necessary.
137
00:05:31,321 --> 00:05:34,209
First of all, no more of this
"Mr. McAllister" stuff, okay?
138
00:05:34,210 --> 00:05:36,500
- It's Jim.
- Thank you, Jim.
139
00:05:36,550 --> 00:05:38,620
Uh, very kind, Jim.
140
00:05:38,670 --> 00:05:40,750
This feels weird, Jim.
141
00:05:41,390 --> 00:05:42,660
So, where are we going?
142
00:05:42,718 --> 00:05:43,768
What would you say
143
00:05:43,790 --> 00:05:47,540
to an all-expenses-paid
weekend at Dollywood?
144
00:05:47,541 --> 00:05:48,848
- Shut up.
- MANDY: Oh, my God.
145
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,920
- Thank you.
- That's amazing.
146
00:05:50,921 --> 00:05:52,351
Oh, I'm definitely getting married.
147
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,550
And I won't be going.
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00:05:53,604 --> 00:05:55,130
Oh, and I can watch the baby.
149
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:58,220
Or me, the one who just
paid for your honeymoon.
150
00:05:58,221 --> 00:06:00,229
You two are on probation.
I don't want to come home
151
00:06:00,230 --> 00:06:02,180
and find out there was an exorcism.
152
00:06:02,230 --> 00:06:05,310
- Connie, will you do it?
- I would love to.
153
00:06:05,311 --> 00:06:07,617
Wait a minute, it's my house.
Don't I have a say?
154
00:06:07,618 --> 00:06:08,810
No.
155
00:06:10,010 --> 00:06:11,610
I don't have a say.
156
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:16,040
I got to go open up the gambling room.
157
00:06:16,090 --> 00:06:17,900
Can you watch her for about an hour?
158
00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:20,490
I just had coffee and
a bowl of Raisin Bran.
159
00:06:20,510 --> 00:06:23,000
Next hour is spoken for.
160
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:25,160
You could've just said no.
161
00:06:25,210 --> 00:06:27,370
I'm trying to keep the romance alive.
162
00:06:27,940 --> 00:06:31,849
Hey, why don't we look
around for wedding rings
163
00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:33,340
- in Tennessee?
- Hmm.
164
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,100
Maybe they sell them at Dollywood.
165
00:06:35,101 --> 00:06:38,309
If it's all the same, I'd rather
not get my wedding ring
166
00:06:38,310 --> 00:06:40,110
at the same place they sell corn dogs.
167
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:42,040
Oh, corn dogs.
168
00:06:42,090 --> 00:06:44,560
- We're definitely getting corn dogs.
- (LAUGHS)
169
00:06:44,561 --> 00:06:47,699
You know, through all the rush,
we didn't really talk about it,
170
00:06:47,700 --> 00:06:49,730
but are you gonna take my name?
171
00:06:51,190 --> 00:06:52,610
Is it important to you?
172
00:06:52,663 --> 00:06:55,860
I don't know, I'd kind of like
people to know we're a family.
173
00:06:55,910 --> 00:06:57,060
You know, the Coopers,
174
00:06:57,061 --> 00:06:59,126
Georgie and Mandy Cooper.
(LAUGHS SOFTLY)
175
00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:00,409
I'd go to a barbecue at their house.
176
00:07:00,410 --> 00:07:01,710
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
177
00:07:01,711 --> 00:07:03,255
Well, why don't you take my name?
178
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:05,269
I'm trying to have a
serious conversation,
179
00:07:05,270 --> 00:07:06,467
and you're making jokes.
180
00:07:06,468 --> 00:07:07,790
Why is it a joke?
181
00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:09,930
Maybe that'd fly in New York City,
182
00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:12,090
but in Texas, I'd get my ass kicked.
183
00:07:12,091 --> 00:07:13,839
Maybe we should move to New York City.
184
00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:16,490
Okay, there's just some things
you don't joke about.
185
00:07:17,180 --> 00:07:20,430
And the thing you need to
know about slot machines
186
00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:25,510
is that they provide the
house with a 17% edge.
187
00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:27,030
And that...
188
00:07:28,010 --> 00:07:31,650
is a whole lot of edge for
Meemaw and your daddy.
189
00:07:33,537 --> 00:07:35,040
Huh?
190
00:07:36,748 --> 00:07:38,240
Ooh, that ain't good.
191
00:07:41,990 --> 00:07:44,040
- Excuse me.
- I don't work here!
192
00:07:48,290 --> 00:07:49,620
(SIREN WHOOPS)
193
00:07:49,621 --> 00:07:53,764
OFFICER (OVER P.A.): Connie
Tucker? Please stop running.
194
00:07:53,765 --> 00:07:56,380
(SIREN WAILING)
195
00:07:58,950 --> 00:08:00,180
GILROY: (GASPS)
196
00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:03,660
Peekaboo. Oh, yeah,
that's funny. (GASPS)
197
00:08:03,710 --> 00:08:05,430
Peekaboo.
198
00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:06,530
Hey.
199
00:08:07,190 --> 00:08:08,270
Took you long enough.
200
00:08:08,271 --> 00:08:10,119
Yeah, I'm old. I had to
go to the bathroom.
201
00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:12,730
Why are you handcuffed?
Why is she handcuffed?
202
00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:15,320
- She's a flight risk.
- What is she talking about?
203
00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:17,800
I was just taking the baby for a walk,
204
00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:19,430
and Cagney and Lacey here
205
00:08:19,460 --> 00:08:22,150
decided that I was evading arrest.
206
00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:24,740
Oh, Connie. H-How much is bail?
207
00:08:24,796 --> 00:08:25,990
Won't know till Monday.
208
00:08:25,991 --> 00:08:27,923
- What?
- Judge left town for the weekend.
209
00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:29,330
Well, get him back.
210
00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:30,750
Can't. Gone fishing.
211
00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:32,790
Beautiful day for it. Where'd he go?
212
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:34,750
- Dale.
- Right.
213
00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:37,000
You mean I got to sit here till Monday?
214
00:08:37,059 --> 00:08:38,600
Well, you'll be back in a cell.
215
00:08:38,650 --> 00:08:40,760
Where all the bad people go.
216
00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:41,862
(COOS)
217
00:08:41,897 --> 00:08:43,070
Oh, my God.
218
00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:45,930
Dale, take the baby home.
219
00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:48,180
Me? Why don't you call Mary?
220
00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:50,810
The last thing I want is for
her to know about this.
221
00:08:50,811 --> 00:08:52,239
I'll watch the baby if you like.
222
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,150
There you go, problem solved.
223
00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:57,150
No. Take the baby.
224
00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:58,520
(GROANS)
225
00:08:59,380 --> 00:09:00,980
Yeah.
226
00:09:00,981 --> 00:09:03,918
Well, is there anything I can bring you?
227
00:09:03,919 --> 00:09:06,450
Yeah, a cake with a file in it.
228
00:09:06,505 --> 00:09:08,120
(LAUGHS): Good one.
229
00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:09,433
DALE: Thank you, Officer.
230
00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:13,370
Can I give the flight
risk a kiss goodbye?
231
00:09:13,428 --> 00:09:14,790
That's up to her.
232
00:09:14,846 --> 00:09:17,030
- I'm good.
- She's good.
233
00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:19,380
Okay, CeeCee, here we go.
234
00:09:21,230 --> 00:09:22,300
Bye, baby.
235
00:09:22,354 --> 00:09:24,704
Next rest stop, let's call
and check on CeeCee.
236
00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:27,470
She's fine. She's with my meemaw.
237
00:09:27,471 --> 00:09:30,402
Yeah, you're right,
I'm worrying for nothing.
238
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,830
All right, let's get you to your cell.
239
00:09:33,071 --> 00:09:38,579
So, that beautiful little girl
is your granddaughter?
240
00:09:38,580 --> 00:09:40,360
Great-granddaughter.
241
00:09:40,361 --> 00:09:42,319
I never locked up a
great-grandma before.
242
00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:45,780
Well, isn't this your lucky day?
243
00:09:45,836 --> 00:09:47,150
(PHONE RINGING)
244
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:50,530
Sheldon, phone.
245
00:09:51,620 --> 00:09:53,930
187 IQ and I'm a receptionist.
246
00:09:53,980 --> 00:09:55,550
(SNIFFLES)
247
00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:57,170
Cooper residence.
248
00:09:57,222 --> 00:09:59,030
Hello, Mr. Ballard.
249
00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:01,670
He's here. May I tell him
what this is concerning?
250
00:10:02,460 --> 00:10:04,410
I may not? Very well.
251
00:10:04,460 --> 00:10:05,760
Dad, it's Mr. Ballard.
252
00:10:05,814 --> 00:10:07,300
I'll pick it up in here.
253
00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:09,217
Which you could've done to begin with.
254
00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:12,170
Hey, Dale, what's up?
255
00:10:13,850 --> 00:10:14,940
You're kidding.
256
00:10:14,990 --> 00:10:16,940
- Till Monday?
- What's going on?
257
00:10:16,941 --> 00:10:18,019
Shh!
258
00:10:18,020 --> 00:10:19,690
Well, is there anything I can do?
259
00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:21,570
Yeah, I know a couple lawyers.
260
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:24,190
- Who needs a lawyer?
- Meemaw's in jail.
261
00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:25,440
Hang up.
262
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,120
What's she in jail for?
263
00:10:30,172 --> 00:10:32,410
I'm not sure. Some kind
of room got shut down.
264
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:34,700
- Oh, the gambling room.
- What?
265
00:10:34,701 --> 00:10:36,229
Yeah, in the back of the laundromat.
266
00:10:36,230 --> 00:10:37,710
Isn't that illegal?
267
00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:40,270
Yeah, that's why she's in jail.
268
00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:42,350
She tried to run?
269
00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:44,430
(CHUCKLES) Oh, that...
270
00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:46,260
Oh, that makes me so happy.
271
00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:50,010
? Met her on the mountain ?
272
00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:52,890
? There I took her life ?
273
00:10:54,446 --> 00:10:57,070
? Met her on the mountain ?
274
00:10:57,850 --> 00:11:00,310
- (FUSSING)
- ? Stabbed her with my knife. ?
275
00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:01,480
(CRYING)
276
00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:04,150
Yeah, it's kind of a sad one.
277
00:11:04,206 --> 00:11:06,690
Yeah. You'll like this one.
278
00:11:08,830 --> 00:11:11,730
? Delia, oh, Delia ?
279
00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:15,400
? Delia all my life ?
280
00:11:16,060 --> 00:11:19,440
? If I hadn't shot poor Delia. ?
281
00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:23,330
Here you go. This is for you.
282
00:11:26,140 --> 00:11:28,810
? Hey, yeah, baby ?
283
00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:31,930
? Shake it on down. ?
284
00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:33,850
- (COOING)
- That's the one.
285
00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:35,712
- That's the one.
- (DOORBELL RINGS)
286
00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:38,810
We got company.
287
00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:42,980
- Hey, Mare.
- George told me about the arrest.
288
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,860
Oh. Yeah. Boy, I know
how to pick 'em, huh?
289
00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:47,150
Is she okay?
290
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:49,280
Oh, yeah, she's a tough old bird.
291
00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:51,730
Well, let me take the
baby off your hands
292
00:11:51,780 --> 00:11:52,950
till the kids come back.
293
00:11:53,620 --> 00:11:56,660
Well, but we're having such a good time.
294
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,710
- Dale.
- She likes me.
295
00:11:58,760 --> 00:11:59,920
Dale.
296
00:11:59,970 --> 00:12:01,050
(SIGHS)
297
00:12:01,100 --> 00:12:02,710
Oh. Fine.
298
00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:05,230
You get the baby, I'll grab her Binky.
299
00:12:06,300 --> 00:12:08,250
You know, she really does like me.
300
00:12:09,500 --> 00:12:10,630
So, here's a question.
301
00:12:10,689 --> 00:12:12,050
What?
302
00:12:12,107 --> 00:12:14,277
You think CeeCee's
gonna be an only child?
303
00:12:15,740 --> 00:12:18,300
I don't know. For a while she is. Why?
304
00:12:19,070 --> 00:12:21,200
Well, since we're man and wife now,
305
00:12:21,250 --> 00:12:22,500
we got to make plans.
306
00:12:22,550 --> 00:12:25,230
I'm almost back in my old
jeans. This can wait.
307
00:12:25,287 --> 00:12:28,237
Well, I'm just saying, I liked
having a brother and sister.
308
00:12:28,238 --> 00:12:29,707
Don't you like having a brother?
309
00:12:29,708 --> 00:12:31,030
Eh.
310
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:33,030
So, y'all didn't get along?
311
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:35,160
I picked on him. I made him cry a lot.
312
00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:37,350
That's what I did with Sheldon.
313
00:12:37,351 --> 00:12:38,966
Don't you want CeeCee to have that?
314
00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:42,160
Just so you know, my plans include
more than making babies
315
00:12:42,161 --> 00:12:43,539
so they can pick on each other.
316
00:12:43,540 --> 00:12:46,290
- I want a career.
- I support that.
317
00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:49,080
And maybe go back to school.
318
00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:52,600
Curveball, but okay.
319
00:12:52,601 --> 00:12:55,316
I don't have to go back to school, do I?
320
00:12:55,317 --> 00:12:56,550
Oh, no, sweetheart.
321
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,080
Thank you.
322
00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:00,080
(DOORBELL RINGS)
323
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,650
Hey there. Alice, isn't it?
324
00:13:04,701 --> 00:13:06,970
- Audrey.
- Right.
325
00:13:06,971 --> 00:13:08,454
What can I do for you, Audrey?
326
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,280
I came to visit my granddaughter.
327
00:13:10,332 --> 00:13:12,700
- Not here.
- Where is she?
328
00:13:12,751 --> 00:13:15,370
Well, as they say in Canada,
329
00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:17,470
she's "oot and aboot."
330
00:13:20,008 --> 00:13:22,550
So, if I'm to understand correctly,
331
00:13:22,551 --> 00:13:25,095
our meemaw's been running
a criminal enterprise.
332
00:13:25,096 --> 00:13:26,099
Cool, huh?
333
00:13:26,100 --> 00:13:27,669
No, it is most certainly not cool.
334
00:13:27,670 --> 00:13:30,550
On the one hand, people need
to pay for their crimes.
335
00:13:30,551 --> 00:13:32,229
On the other, if Meemaw's in prison,
336
00:13:32,230 --> 00:13:34,438
who's gonna smell like Bengay
and kiss me on the head?
337
00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:37,269
She's an old lady, they're not
gonna lock her up forever.
338
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:39,280
I sure hope not.
339
00:13:39,281 --> 00:13:42,988
Are there any other family secrets
that I don't know about?
340
00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:46,650
Um... actually, yes.
341
00:13:46,701 --> 00:13:47,751
Tell me.
342
00:13:47,786 --> 00:13:50,570
- No, you couldn't handle it.
- Now I have to know.
343
00:13:50,571 --> 00:13:52,259
Okay.
344
00:13:52,260 --> 00:13:54,079
You ever wonder why Mom
made that prayer garden
345
00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:56,160
- in the back yard?
- To pray.
346
00:13:56,211 --> 00:13:58,050
You're so naive.
347
00:13:58,051 --> 00:14:00,089
(WHISPERS): There's a
dead body under there.
348
00:14:00,090 --> 00:14:01,290
Whose?
349
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:02,950
I've already said too much.
350
00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,790
(DOORBELL RINGS)
351
00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:07,330
Hey, Audrey.
352
00:14:07,389 --> 00:14:09,870
- Where's Mary?
- She's, uh...
353
00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:11,300
(CLEARS THROAT) Mare!
354
00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:13,800
Oh.
355
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,880
- Hi.
- Why do you have the baby?
356
00:14:15,939 --> 00:14:17,500
Um...
357
00:14:17,550 --> 00:14:19,470
It's kind of a long story.
358
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,800
Why do you have the baby?
359
00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:25,520
My mother was arrested, she's in jail.
360
00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:29,140
I can't get a straight answer
from anybody in this family.
361
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:33,940
A gambling room?
362
00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:35,120
Yes.
363
00:14:35,170 --> 00:14:37,790
And she'd been bribing the authorities?
364
00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:39,550
I wouldn't use that word,
365
00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:41,450
but there were...
366
00:14:41,500 --> 00:14:44,870
donations made to the authorities.
367
00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:46,290
And Georgie worked there?
368
00:14:46,340 --> 00:14:48,920
Well, he also runs the laundromat.
369
00:14:48,970 --> 00:14:50,170
Very legitimate.
370
00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:51,500
For money laundering.
371
00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:53,340
And regular laundering.
372
00:14:53,341 --> 00:14:54,939
(SOFTLY): I can't believe this.
373
00:14:54,940 --> 00:14:58,470
What kind of a family has
my daughter married into?
374
00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:01,930
To be clear, I did not
condone any of this.
375
00:15:01,985 --> 00:15:04,700
Doesn't matter. This is
a criminal environment,
376
00:15:04,750 --> 00:15:05,890
and I'm taking the baby.
377
00:15:05,891 --> 00:15:06,919
(GASPS)
378
00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:09,140
Over my dead body.
379
00:15:09,190 --> 00:15:11,000
CeeCee is my granddaughter, too,
380
00:15:11,050 --> 00:15:12,820
and she is perfectly safe here.
381
00:15:12,871 --> 00:15:17,140
Well, as long as she's here, I'm here.
382
00:15:17,890 --> 00:15:19,280
Fine.
383
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:21,720
Are you hungry?
384
00:15:21,770 --> 00:15:24,330
I have half a bucket of
spaghetti in the fridge.
385
00:15:25,110 --> 00:15:26,330
I could eat.
386
00:15:27,170 --> 00:15:29,110
All right, I'll go heat it up.
387
00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:37,149
(SCOFFS) What? You think I'm
gonna take the baby and run?
388
00:15:37,150 --> 00:15:39,300
Yes. Would you like some garlic bread?
389
00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:41,020
That sounds nice.
390
00:15:41,021 --> 00:15:44,902
You know, we should really
start looking for our own place.
391
00:15:44,903 --> 00:15:46,220
You think?
392
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:49,230
I mean, the gambling room's doing great,
393
00:15:49,231 --> 00:15:50,349
and since we put in the roulette wheel,
394
00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:51,970
we're basically printing money.
395
00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:54,520
(SIGHS) Sure would like
to have my own bathroom.
396
00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:56,790
(SIGHS) Your own bathroom,
397
00:15:56,791 --> 00:15:58,399
one of them walk-in shoe closets
398
00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:00,760
like on Lifestyles of
the Rich and Famous.
399
00:16:01,419 --> 00:16:03,870
And carpet everywhere,
even in the kitchen.
400
00:16:03,922 --> 00:16:05,200
That's a terrible idea.
401
00:16:05,256 --> 00:16:07,220
'Cause of spilling and crumbs, sure.
402
00:16:07,270 --> 00:16:09,000
Point is, I want to spoil you,
403
00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:11,290
so whatever you want.
404
00:16:11,346 --> 00:16:12,450
? ?
405
00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:16,430
Well, right now, I just want you.
406
00:16:17,352 --> 00:16:18,800
Really? Now?
407
00:16:18,853 --> 00:16:20,050
Yeah.
408
00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:21,630
Hot damn.
409
00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:24,800
Just so you know, I promised
my dad I'd use condoms.
410
00:16:24,850 --> 00:16:26,050
MANDY (CHUCKLES): Good.
411
00:16:27,270 --> 00:16:28,760
(CAR DOOR CLOSES)
412
00:16:29,310 --> 00:16:30,560
Now what?
413
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:32,970
(SIGHS)
414
00:16:33,970 --> 00:16:35,270
Hey.
415
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:36,820
Did you escape?
416
00:16:36,871 --> 00:16:39,990
Nah, they just brought me over
to pick up my pills and pj's.
417
00:16:40,041 --> 00:16:42,160
Oh, that's nice.
418
00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:43,570
Are you drunk?
419
00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:45,650
Uh, yeah, it sure feels like it.
420
00:16:50,500 --> 00:16:51,580
And where's the baby?
421
00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:53,460
Don't worry, she's not here.
422
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,880
- Where is she?
- Mary's got her.
423
00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:57,170
So she knows about me?
424
00:16:57,225 --> 00:16:58,580
Yeah.
425
00:16:58,630 --> 00:17:00,050
(SIREN WHOOPS)
426
00:17:00,103 --> 00:17:01,850
My chariot awaits.
427
00:17:01,900 --> 00:17:02,970
DALE: Oh.
428
00:17:04,110 --> 00:17:05,390
Did you have diner?
429
00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:08,810
They ordered in some
pizza from Del Bonos.
430
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:10,050
That sounds good.
431
00:17:10,100 --> 00:17:12,730
- I had cold spaghetti.
- MEEMAW: All right.
432
00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:13,832
(PILLS RATTLING)
433
00:17:13,850 --> 00:17:15,760
Well, I'll see you Monday.
434
00:17:16,390 --> 00:17:18,440
Well, they have visiting hours.
435
00:17:18,496 --> 00:17:20,030
I can come tomorrow morning.
436
00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:21,490
Not till 1:00.
437
00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:23,920
Oh, I see. My game's on.
438
00:17:23,970 --> 00:17:27,240
- So, how about 4:30 or 5:00?
- I'll see you Monday.
439
00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:29,540
- All right. See ya.
- (DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)
440
00:17:30,630 --> 00:17:32,550
Well, why does she get pizza?
441
00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:33,950
I want pizza.
442
00:17:33,951 --> 00:17:38,890
- Thanks for coming by.
- Yeah, what's the situation?
443
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:40,920
Well, right now it's kind of a standoff.
444
00:17:40,921 --> 00:17:43,103
They're eating spaghetti, and
Mary's holding the baby hostage.
445
00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:44,430
All right. What's our play?
446
00:17:44,431 --> 00:17:45,939
Well, I figured we'll be
dealing with each other
447
00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:48,525
for the rest of our lives,
so we got to keep things civil.
448
00:17:48,526 --> 00:17:50,529
- I'm with you.
- (STAMMERS) Let me start by saying,
449
00:17:50,530 --> 00:17:51,770
you are a pleasure.
450
00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:53,850
(CHUCKLES): Oh, back at you.
451
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,560
And your daughter is a keeper.
452
00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:57,190
And your son is a fine young man.
453
00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:58,650
Thank you.
454
00:17:58,700 --> 00:18:00,400
So, you ready to do this?
455
00:18:00,455 --> 00:18:01,610
I'm right behind you.
456
00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:03,950
? ?
457
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,960
Hey, Mare, look who stopped by.
458
00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:08,863
- (CRICKETS CHIRPING)
- (CLOCK TICKING)
459
00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:14,950
Mmm, it's good coffee.
460
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,120
Is that Folgers?
461
00:18:16,179 --> 00:18:17,830
Maxwell House.
462
00:18:17,889 --> 00:18:20,810
JIM: Ah, sure. Good to the last drop.
463
00:18:20,860 --> 00:18:22,410
Uh, Audrey, am I crazy,
464
00:18:22,411 --> 00:18:24,389
or didn't we used to
drink Maxwell House?
465
00:18:24,390 --> 00:18:25,440
Yes.
466
00:18:25,460 --> 00:18:27,230
Mm-hmm. Hmm.
467
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:28,430
Why'd we change?
468
00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:30,920
It's a mystery.
469
00:18:30,970 --> 00:18:32,060
(CHUCKLES)
470
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,311
Speaking of mysteries,
471
00:18:33,340 --> 00:18:36,290
Mary, did you ever find that
earring you were looking for?
472
00:18:36,950 --> 00:18:38,350
(CLEARS THROAT)
473
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:40,440
Family heirloom just gone.
474
00:18:40,495 --> 00:18:42,610
Maybe her mother stole it.
475
00:18:42,611 --> 00:18:43,669
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
476
00:18:43,670 --> 00:18:45,099
I am not holding the baby anymore,
477
00:18:45,100 --> 00:18:46,320
so you better watch it.
478
00:18:47,091 --> 00:18:50,212
Audrey's uncle was a bank robber.
479
00:18:50,213 --> 00:18:52,620
- Jim!
- He's in Leavenworth.
480
00:18:52,674 --> 00:18:54,790
He's my uncle by marriage.
481
00:18:54,842 --> 00:18:59,040
Look, a-all I'm saying is every
family's got secrets, right?
482
00:18:59,097 --> 00:19:01,500
We sure got some
skeletons in the closet.
483
00:19:01,550 --> 00:19:03,090
MARY: We do not.
484
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:04,760
Other than my mother.
485
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:06,590
- (BREATHES DEEPLY)
- And?
486
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:08,220
(MARY SIGHS)
487
00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:11,300
My cousin Janine is a
practicing witch, but that's it.
488
00:19:12,735 --> 00:19:14,640
- Worships Satan.
- (SIGHS HEAVILY)
489
00:19:14,696 --> 00:19:16,860
I got you beat.
490
00:19:16,910 --> 00:19:18,500
My brother William...
491
00:19:19,340 --> 00:19:21,230
(WHISPERS): He's a Democrat.
492
00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:22,940
He voted for Mondale.
493
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:25,320
- Aw, I'm so sorry.
- JIM: Mm.
494
00:19:25,373 --> 00:19:27,820
Actually, feels good to talk about it.
495
00:19:31,460 --> 00:19:34,490
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
496
00:19:34,540 --> 00:19:36,660
Are you sure there's a body down here?
497
00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:38,760
Oh, yeah, keep digging.
498
00:19:38,761 --> 00:19:42,859
ADULT SHELDON: I'd like to tell
you I found something that night,
499
00:19:42,860 --> 00:19:45,590
but for once you all
might be ahead of me.
500
00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:50,190
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