Original subtitles

[loud shouting]

Audrey: What the?

Is this normal?

Todd: Yeah, I think it is.

They're crazy, but they're harmless.

[loud shouting]

Audrey: There's more protestors than crew.

Todd: Yeah, on holidays a skeleton crew keeps the lights on.

Just you wait.

More people will trickle in to help build the float.

You wanna do the parade after?

Is that even a choice?

Is Christmas a choice?

Jesus Auds, it's fuckin' Labour Day!

The highlight of a tradesman's year!

We march together and celebrate us!

And we show how grateful we are to the town.

Yeah and we dummy every chilled keg on Main Street afterwards.

Wow. That is some top shelf community engagement

right there.

Hey VanLeuen!

You're about a year early.

Got booked last minute.

Double time.

Integrity checks, soil samples.

We do all the checks!

Well, maybe not well enough.

Fuck you!

Is that bad news?

Not today.

Atta boy.

Now you go in there

and you build yourself a stellar float and enjoy yourself.

Merry Christmas!

Fuck yeah!

No need to knock.

Rule of thumb,

when the doors open a crack, it means enter.

Smells good in here.

Chelsea: Okay.

Nice espresso machine!

Chelsea: Oh, by all means.

Say, you're tied into corporate.

You'd let us know...

Oh shit. Sorry.

You'd let us know if any significant changes were coming.

Just help yourself to a latte.

You have the weight of the world on your shoulders, Todd.

Well, we've been falling behind on our targets

and now you're bringing in third parties.

I'm getting a handle on the clean-up after Bennett.

The environmental check is part of that.

Are you trying to catch us with our dicks out?

No offence.

Let me ask you this:

Would you describe Randy Bennett

as "organized" or "negligent"?

The second one.

I mean, we all knew he was a mess.

Why didn't corporate do something earlier?

You're like three years too late.

And I had to run defensive coverage on his bullshit.

This thing is dumb.

I get there can be animosity

between corporate and the front line.

Yeah. This is an example of why,

because corporate doesn't listen to us.

Conch is a hundred percent

behind this refinery. This town.

Which is why they approved two floats

in the parade this year.

Okay, I guess you think that makes everything-

Wait, what?

Two floats?!

Every year I email head office with that exact idea,

never hear back.

Chelsea: Well, now you will.

And it's good to have someone on the inside.

Yes. Yes!

Oh no, no, no!

[quirky sneaky music]

Todd [on recorder]: Are you trying to catch us with our dicks out?

No offence.

Chelsea [on recorder]: Let me ask you-

[sneaky music continues]

♪

[Homer sighs]

[Homer humming]

Labour Day celebrates the achievement

of blue-collar workers.

The achievement of you.

Woo! Yes!

[cheering and clapping]

I look out here and I see a sea of colour.

[soft mumbling]

Len: The diversity of trade and talent!

[loud boom] [Len screams out]

Len: Not now! Later.

Jesus fucking Christ.

What'd I miss?

Sleazy PR guy beakin' off.

We like to encourage competition...

One that spawns innovation!

That's why we are enlisting not just one,

but two floats in the parade today.

Fuck yeah!

Holy shit,

I can't believe they actually read your email.

Todd: Finally.

We getting paid double time?!

How does double time work

when we're doing this volunteer, bud?

[chuckling]

So this year's theme...

is "The Future of Conch Industries"...

And I thought it would be fun to have two teams:

the domestic workers versus the internationals.

So me versus everybody.

Chelsea: No, no, no. We're not doing that.

Just one second please.

[chuckling]

Is this dildo trying to start a race war?!

Nah, you've gotta be more like the Olympics.

He's not fucking serious?

What? You said I could make the rules for the competition.

Now you're poo-pooing my idea.

You're the Head of PR.

Think about the optics of what you just said.

[background chattering]

Dang it, you're right.

What if we made a hundred grand of income

the line in the sand here?

No!

Management versus Entry-Level?

Guys versus Gals?

Guys and Dolls?

Young versus Old?

And the teams will be Youngbloods versus Old School.

The youthful and ambitious

against the mature and experienced.

It is my honour to lead you in your march today.

And to add to the spirit of this friendly event,

you can only use materials found on site.

And judging the best float will be Medhi Chowdry,

our very own Chief Engineer.

Alright. Aright. Alright. Alright.

I know what you're all thinking...

And yes, I can be bribed.

[laughing]

Confetti cannon. Now!

Tradesman 1: Oh, what the hell?

Tradesman 2: In your eye!

But you don't just have one.

Chelsea: Alright, just wrap it up, okay.

Wrap it up.

Go make your floats!

[cheering]

Later, geezers.

I'm off to the dream team.

Me too.

Oh shit.

Oh my...

Oh, you poor...

How can you fuckin'-

You fuckin' poor...

Fuck!

Something isn't right.

Did you see the Enviro-Vestigate guys?

Soil samples, pressure checks today?

They're using your love of tradition against you.

I mean, look at you, you're distracted.

You probably still leave milk and cookies out for Santa Claus.

I just told you I think something's up.

It's time for you to go covert.

They're playing you like a fuckin' fiddle.

Wait, did you say covert?

I did.

Confirmed.

What tactics are permitted?

Any means necessary.

You are now activated.

Ghost protocol.

No one can know your objective.

The truth is out there, Homer.

And I want you to find it.

Roger that.

I hear ya.

[objects clattering]

Homer: Oh fuck! Son of a bitch!

Oh yeah, you don't have to drink that.

[scoffs] I'm all good, Chelse.

That went great.

You must have been at a different assembly than me.

Codename: VAPETRAIL.

The lunchroom is more deserted than expected.

It is a holiday.

Targets are isolated,

so I'm unable to hear audio.

But I watched a webinar recently on deciphering body language.

Skill enabled.

Listen, I, uh, hear this place can't cut the mustard.

Must be stressful being the one in charge

of shutting it down.

Yeah, just keep that to yourself.

We can't let that news get out until we're ready.

Of course not! [loud scraping]

What the? - Fuck! Fuck!

I've been spotted but I've engaged Stealth Mode.

Vanish!

Len: Poor suckers.

Well, at least they get one more Labour Day.

Would'ya look at that.

a sign of dominance.

Similar to the infamous chest poke of the Illuminati.

You know how tough it was

to spin a drugged-out boss overdose story?

I tell ya.

Keep coming. Keep coming.

You gotta bend the knees.

Hey. Hey. Stop. Stop.

Todd's Sister.

Don't do that.

It's a prank.

And if they tell you to fetch a bucket of steam

or a striped paint,

you tell them to fuck a tree.

Entiendes?

Ugh!

That's just dangerous.

You're gonna succeed here.

Can I ask you a personal question?

Maybe.

Would you dance on the float?

What? No, we're dancing?

Yeah. Years ago I worked on a cruise ship.

I will choreograph something for us.

It will be a blast!

Um, I'm as coordinated as a sandbag.

Todd: Cheers.

Bottoms up, Fucko.

Catch any sparks, Auds?

Ha ha ha. Very funny.

You look parched.

What? Is-is that Spritzer?

Spritzer?

I think you're on the wrong team, bud.

We're killing it!

Good vibes, Dewey. Good vibes.

No, no, no. I mean, you're a senior citizen.

Nah, I'm young at heart.

Age is just a number.

Yeah, please.

You're two decades away from the nursing home.

You old freaking timer, you-

And you're like five seconds away from the ER.

[Backwoods chuckling]

You gonna beat him with your walker?

Buddy, don't take offence.

We all decided the cutoff age was 40 flat and fair.

What about you?

Well, I'm only thirty-nine and a half, Geezy.

Fuck off!

[Backwoods chuckling]

So no one wants to make an age exception?

[negative responses]

Fine, ya buzzkills.

Alright, let's make a bet.

Losing team gets a sharpie makeover at The Pipe.

Our float is gonna crush yours.

Really? I'm with the experienced guys.

And you know what?

They know how to day-drink, ya young pussies.

[loud snoring]

Hey, here's the last of the German metal schlong thing.

Have at 'er boys!

Good call, Jimi.

Alright guys, we gotta win.

There's some stuff on the line here now.

Tase, we're gonna destroy them.

Hey Medhi, no drinks today?

Oh. Oh. Well look.

Holy shit!

Everybody's been taking my bribe comment seriously.

You know what? I need to refine my sarcasm.

You are gonna love our float.

We're gonna honour the engineer that we all love.

The man. The myth.

The fucking Medhi!

Get your tongue outta my ass, bro.

Yeah, get your tongue out of his ass, bro.

The fuck?

You corrupt motherfucker.

Yeah!

Some people, hm.

Look, the best float is gonna win.

And right now I can guess it's probably not yours.

We'll see about that.

Hey, what's with these Enviro-Vestigate guys

here on a holiday?

Did you sign off on that?

Eh, eh, eh.

Don't concern yourself with grownup shit, okay?

Enjoy yourself today.

No workie! - Alright, alright, alright.

Okay. Who needs help? Let's go!

We gotta beat those young fucks!

Wake up you old bastards!

There's only one way to deal with this kind of operative.

Antihistamines are a sedative,

but when combined with Neuroleptics

and just a sprinkle of Amphetamine,

what you are left with is the perfect truth serum.

Welcome, Veritas.

Hey boys, Happy Labour Day.

Happy Labour Day.

Hey Stephanie, great to see you again.

Len, what can I do for you?

It's what I can do for you.

Now we are looking for tradeswomen

to appear in Conch industries pamphlets,

web banners and even trade school textbooks.

Really? What's that pay?

Influencing the next gen of tradespeople is priceless.

Plus you could be a brand ambassador.

I've already monetized my likeness.

You're an influencer?

Mr. Michaels!

Dickwad.

Please, Mr. Michaels is my father.

Well, I heard you like your coffee black, sir.

Well, thank you very much, uh...

Ah, Dewey.

Dewey.

Happy Labour Day, Dewey.

You too. And to us. To us.

Mm-hmm. Really get in there.

I got it.

Hold up! You guys are leaving?

There's no work here for us.

I've seen refineries half the age of this one

in way worse condition.

Well, that can't be right.

You're expecting something different?

According to head office,

this place has been operating like it's been offline.

I mean, it's the last place in production.

I would love that to be the truth,

especially to piss off Stool,

but all you have here is a fully operational plant.

Zero issues.

And we knew Bennett,

so this is a fricking shocker.

Here.

Have us back any time to double check your guys work, okay?

[Felipe counting in Spanish]

Len, it's Dewey. How you doing?

Elated. Fuzzy.

My feet are sweaty.

Good. Good. Hey, ah,

where you staying while you're in town?

Best Restin', room 108.

It's tiny.

Good to know. Good to know.

What happened to Randy Bennett?

He had an extreme drug addiction,

which led to a heart attack,

which led to a coma. [gasps]

What do you know about our company's patent filings

and board member stock activity?

Look my friend, I'm in PR,

not business affairs.

I'm on a strictly need to know basis.

And I prefer not to know, okay?

Try your Site Manager.

She has all the answers.

Hmmm.

So the Site Manager?

She's the one who knows the truth.

She knows more than me.

[ductwork tapping softly]

[muffled whispering] [ductwork tapping softly]

Chelsea: Hello?

Homer: That's a bad knee! Bad knee!

[Homer grunting]

You better be HVAC.

Homer: Abort. Abort, abort.

Come on, come on, come on!

Chelsea: What's your name?

Why have you been spying on me?

I'm only allowed to offer my badge number and codename.

Oh, I can just look ya up.

[Homer stammering]

I mean, I-I-I can go against protocol

in the name of preserving my livelihood.

My name's Homer.

I mean, Eric.

How long have you worked here?

15 deployments... er years.

Any system failures over the past three years?

Unscheduled shutdowns?

No ma'am, we've been firing on all cylinders.

Pipes are pumping.

So it's all been fine?

The weakness in our team was Bennett.

Based on my extensive observations,

the narcotics and sex addiction was a front.

[softly] Yeah.

I've been trying to connect a link between him

and the local honeybee decline.

[Chelsea inhales deeply]

Possibly laundering dough.

I've been sent here because this place is not profitable.

Now the information I've gathered and what I've seen

tells me different.

So, which is it?

Sure, we take days off, we have fun.

We climb in the ventilation from time to time.

But we don't fuck around when it comes to production.

This company makes bank.

I mean, not Bilderberg levels.

Conch has a yacht but he ain't going to space.

Oh, I understand.

The only guy who listens to people like us,

is Todd.

♪ It's the weekend

♪ On the East Coast

♪ Got a little crazy last night

♪ Woke up in the back seat

♪ Of a row boat

♪ No clothes, no phone, comatose (you ready? Always)

♪ I guess I dove off (yeah)

♪ Of the deep end (light it up)

♪ Now I'm just paying the price

♪ High cost of living (hey)

♪ Guess you get what you give in

♪ No pressure, no diamonds ♪

♪ No, no pressure, no No, no pressure, no (yeah) ♪

♪ No pressure, no diamonds (no pressure) ♪

♪ No, no pressure, no No, no pressure, no ♪

♪ No, no pressure, no diamonds ♪

Backwoods: Yeah. Boom!

How's the dance going, brother?

Oh yeah!

Smoke that shit, Doggy.

Jimi! One of the best floats ever!

Yeah, imagine if the real flare stack came together this quick.

Taser: It's coming, Jimi.

We're gonna do it.

Your outfit is fuckin' sick!

Oh, thank you.

You think your team's gonna win?

I don't know. I got two left feet.

Gotten a good Spanish lesson though, I guess.

Nice.

Felipe: The parade is about to start.

Gotta go. See you at the bar.

Alright, have fun.

Len: The weather always seems to cooperate!

It's like God knows we're taking care of the planet.

God, you are sweating a lot.

You want me to get you a towel?

Ah, ah, ah, stop trying to buy a victory.

I'm trying to look after the guy.

Shoo! Go on. Fuck off!

Good luck, Tim!

My chariot awaits!

As if!

To victory, boys!

[cheering]

[crowd cheering] [upbeat bagpipe music]

♪

[cheering]

Happy Labour Day!

[crowd cheering] [upbeat bagpipe music]

Todd: Look at this float! Check it out!

What do you think?

Isn't this float amazing?

I'm gonna seal the win boys.

Jimi: Okay, go!

Medhi, slow down!

Medhi! Medhi!

People loving our float. What do you think?

Ah, not bad for you chumps.

Sorry Tim, all I see is scrap metal and tinsel. [laughs]

[crowd cheering]

[laughing] That looks like a vagina!

[Taser laughing]

Oh, you kidding me?

A pussy conch?

They win.

Todd: Come on.

[crowd cheering] [upbeat bagpipe music]

Protester: Let's go!

Fuck Conch Industries!

Outta my way!

Hey, get out of here, man. - Outta here!

Hey, corporate assholes!

Hey, come on guys, grow up.

You're gonna ruin it for the kids.

You're the one ruining our planet for our kids!

Take back your crude!

This isn't the owner's car, ya dumbass.

It's a rental!

[angry shouting]

Back off from the float!

Fuck off!

[protester grunting]

[protester shouting gleefully]

Conchie! No!

[trippy music]

[distorted shouting]

[distorted] Oh, is this your baby?

[distorted laughing]

[trippy music]

[distorted bell clanging]

[distorted laughing]

[muted] Hey, are you okay?

[distorted] Num num.

[distorted] Alright. You're fine.

[angry shouting]

Alright. Yeah, that's a-that's a good sign.

[angry shouting]

Protester: Knock it over!

Shit, that's not good.

[tense music] [angry shouting]

Todd: What are you doing?

That's fucked!

[tense music] [angry shouting]

Okay, you guys gotta calm down.

This is a Labour Day parade.

Come on, Jimi! I got him!

Okay. Just...

Little dick.

Get 'em boys!

You get the fuck off that float!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Son of a bitch!

Fuck! Fuck, Dewey!

Dewey: I'm sorry, Todd!

Alright guys, safety first!

Fuck! Fuck!

Everybody to The Pipe!

To the Leaky Pipe! Come on!

[sirens wailing]

Hey! Hey! Are you okay?

Oh my God.

Yeah, it's fine. It's fine.

[sirens wailing]

[angry shouting]

[Steph laughing]

What just happened?

Never seen anything like this.

You okay?

Yeah. I need to talk to your brother.

He's at The Pipe.

Okay.

[angry shouting]

[laughing] Labour Day!

Jimi: Aren't you fuckin' done yet Picasso?

Todd! You're on my shit list for taking this bet, buddy.

Love you, Jimi!

Let me guess.

War paint joke?

No, I-I want, I want to fill in your unibrow.

Maybe a dick? Some balls?

Somethin' classy. - Cock!

Congrats, amigo.

I thought we had it with the flare stack,

but your guys' attention to detail, man.

Did all the research myself, my man.

[they laugh]

Besides, both of our floats we're fucking!

As far as I'm concerned, we both won.

Hey, our floats were fucking!

[cheering]

Homer, let me buy you a beer!

Yeah, listen, I-I'd love that.

First I'd like to debrief you.

Privately.

Don't worry about work, man.

Relax.

Len Michaels was a dead end, okay?

And this whole "build two floats" thing

feels like a test bed for moral and spiritual division, okay?

And listen, any political lackey will tell you

that the only way to keep the people down

is to attack the middle class.

Okay, I caught, like, a third of that.

Todder, where you at?

Yo!

Oh, there he is.

Ask her, okay?

She's one of us.

Come here. I gotta talk to ya.

Okay. Okay.

Charles thinks the refinery's losing money.

That's fuckin' stupid.

Sorry, I'm a little bit drunk.

Okay. But I think that Bennett's reporting is fabricated.

I mean, nothing balances and the numbers look made up.

The plant is profitable.

It definitely is a money-maker.

Okay. You know this place better than I do.

I'm gonna need your help to prove it.

Conch wants me to shut down the plant.

Holy shit! We gotta stop you.

Can I finish my beer first though?

Ah...

Smile you ugly panda. [laughing]

Fuck you!

We are amoebas in a mud puddle!

Yet, in our hubris and ambition,

we fail to recognize the interconnectedness of all things

and the delicate balance that sustains the very essence

of life itself!

♪ It's the weekend

♪ On the West Coast (and we)

♪ Got a little crazy last night (c'mon)

♪ Woke up in the back seat (yeah)

♪ Of a row boat (I had)

♪ No clothes, no phone, comatose

♪ I guess I dove off

♪ Of the deep end

♪ Now I'm just paying the price

♪ High cost of living

♪ Guess you get what you give in

♪ No pressure, no ♪

♪ Fresher than fresh Yes, I'm the best

♪ No pressure nonetheless (nah)

♪ One might come test

♪ Until they figure out

♪ This 'bout Knockin' the-

♪ Gettin' this brick Taking a trip

♪ And having a sip

♪ I made your girl wanna skinny dip

♪ When she seen me

♪ Rub my- three times, I made your girl a genie

♪ She made my- disappear then reappear, do it then

♪ Gave it to her best friend, lube it down

♪ See I don't even know where I'm at (but we smokin')

♪ Somewhere in Nova Scotia, Canada, bustin' the mack ♪

♪ Fixin' the batch ♪

♪ 'Cause it's the weekend

♪ On the West Coast (West Coast, baby)

♪ Got a little crazy last night

♪ Woke up in the back seat (yeah)

♪ Of a row boat (I had)

♪ No clothes, no phone, comatose

♪ I guess I dove off

♪ Of the deep end (but)

♪ Now I'm just paying the price (c'mon)

♪ High cost of living (ha ha)

♪ Guess you get what you give in

♪ No pressure, no diamonds (Classified) ♪

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