Original subtitles

Christ!

I can't believe this.

-Look at this, for your back. -Have you seen this?

Put that down, for God's sake.

-It's for your back. -Valero, look.

-See how nice this smells? -Don't talk nonsense.

It's one of those hippy candles.

Put it down. Look at the state of this.

That's very tight.

There's a blockage inside.

The bit at the top was full of limescale.

This is really clogged up.

You won't get that out.

-It won't come out, will it. -Yes. See?

That's disgusting!

I can't stand it.

THE ODD-JOB MEN

Hi, good morning. Excuse me.

Is there anyone in this office next door?

-Is what? -Is there anyone...

-Is there anyone in the...? -Yes, but it's the same office.

-What do you want? -I have a job interview.

I don't think so. We don't need anyone here.

Well they sent me a message, to come...

-To come here? -Yes.

I don't think so.

-Who sent the message? -A woman.

Are you sure this isn't Instalaciones Lucía?

This isn't Instalaciones Lucía.

You must have got mixed up. This is Instalaciones Losilla.

Losilla, sorry.

-Instalaciones Losilla. -No, not Lucía.

-Losilla, Losilla. -No, not Lucía.

-Losilla. -Losilla...

It's not my problem if you don't speak Spanish.

Losilla. Not Instalaciones Lucía.

I'm busy, I can't...

Any trouble getting here?

-No. -No?

No, I found you...

I was afraid I didn't explain it properly.

Do you have a driver's licence, Mohamed?

Yes, I have a licence.

-And your own vehicle? -No.

Well, that's not a problem.

Move over.

You're more an electrician than a plumber?

Yes.

Do you work with distribution panels and control panels?

Yes, I install them.

But I don't do wiring diagrams.

-You don't do diagrams. -No.

-I like this guy's CV. -You like him, but you've lost the plot.

-The point is I like him. -But he'll work with me.

-But I'm the boss. -Then do what you like.

Of course.

Here's the timesheet.

-See you later. -See you later.

When I was a kid, I used to spy on the neighbours.

At night, playing hide and seek,

I used to watch other people's windows.

I liked to see what they were eating, and whether they used a lot of water.

Since there was only one well, I wanted to know who wasted water.

I didn't know that when I grew up, thanks to my job,

I'd be able to observe people without hiding.

It wouldn't be in Morocco, but in Barcelona.

I started on Monday morning.

I was sure I'd get through the week's trial.

What could go wrong?

MONDAY

Isn't this retirement thing a bit daft?

No, it's my time.

-"My time", my arse. -I don't have a problem.

-Pep! -Yes?

Get the things for a leak in the storage tank.

-We've got them. -And we have to change a toilet hose.

-And look at a tap in the kitchen. -No problem.

Let's go.

Good morning. We've come for the repair job.

Good morning.

Good morning!

-We're off to a good start today, Pep. -OK, Valero.

Are you taking your morning pills?

Yes.

Do you take a lot?

No.

How old are you?

None of your business.

Well, you look fit as a fiddle.

You must be getting on. 80 or so, or older?

Valero, come on.

Where did you say we had to do the job?

Outside.

OK.

There must be a hole in the tank, Pep.

Are you sure it's not that pipe?

I can't see from here.

-You can't really see it, can you. -No.

We'll have to go up there.

Valero, can you see anything from there?

-Can you see anything? -Hotshot!

Get the ladder.

Yes, fetch the ladder please.

Sir?

Sir, I'm coming through.

Pep, no! You're about to retire, don't go up there. I'll do it.

You want to go up?

I'll go up. You're too old for that.

The picture of agility. Off you go.

Take a look.

-The leak's getting worse. -Yes.

What's up there, pipes?

There's a tangle of pipes up here, it's unreal.

-Pep! -What?

Watch out for grandpa.

He's armed.

Take it easy.

That's how you'll end up, if you retire.

-That's you in two months. -Give it a rest.

We have to cut a little more.

Spinach contains a lot of iron.

It also contains vitamin C.

But when you boil them, most of the vitamins are destroyed.

Basically, you're left with the minerals, and the main one in spinach is iron.

Come here. I'll explain. This is very important...

-Sir, I'm replacing the tap. -...for longevity...

...to live life to the full, and to enjoy it.

Look. You see?

All these things have kept me well since I was 60.

And now I've reached 100.

And as you can see, I'm still in good shape,

both upstairs, and physically.

I got them from this book,

which is called, How to fight aging.

But Paqui's making a mistake...

with this thing, because the people that we work for...

The people we work for, Pep,

they don't like foreigners.

They're Catalans, born and bred, and...

Look at grandpa here, he doesn't like it.

I'll make her see sense tonight.

Soy lecithin helps to lower cholesterol levels in the blood.

That way, it's as it should be,

you need cholesterol, but not too much.

-Sir, if you'd let me replace the tap? -No, wait, don't go.

Let someone else do the work, you need to hear what I'm telling you.

Because you're young, and young people need to know this.

Walnuts contain an enzyme,

which other nuts don't contain.

And what this enzyme does, especially for old people,

it helps to preserve the memory, and the libido.

You know what I mean by libido? Liking women.

That's pollen...

Pep!

-What? -Where's the hotshot?

He's in the kitchen, I told you.

Just to fix a tap?

Where is he?

He's working.

So this is the first exercise.

I breathed through the mouth, and it should be through the nose.

Every day, we go into a different person's house.

We have to be polite.

Treat everyone with respect.

I also do this twelve times.

There are rich people and poor people.

Some are clean, others dirty.

Younger or older.

Why are we all so different?

Only Allah knows.

And when I've done that,

I do the breathing again, because I've done them all.

Like this. See?

I can even do that thing dancers do.

-Give them to me. -Have you done the hose?

No.

Maybe you are getting old.

It happens.

Give me the things.

You're not retiring until I say.

Have you got any more things?

And where's the mop? Hotshot!

Moha's probably bringing it.

-Chop chop! -Take it easy.

Between the pensioner and the non-Spanish-speaker.

Take it easy.

People are so dirty.

See how dirty people are, Pep?

Take this, Valero.

All these pipe remnants here!

Two tea... Two teaspoons of wheat seeds.

Two teaspoons of brewer's yeast.

Two teaspoons of soy lecithin.

Two tea... Two teaspoons of pollen.

Do you really believe this? It's pointless.

-What do you mean? -It's pointless.

Says you.

You think it's some miracle cure? Come on...

What are you like, Valero. My God.

As for you, kid, you won't get through this trial week, keep that in mind.

I'll tell you that now, on your first day.

See you tomorrow.

-Thanks. -Bye.

This is called "Hanging out the washing".

"Hanging out the washing", OK? Perfect.

There's another thing we do with clothes, which is...

Ironing, OK?

-Let's hear you say "ironing"? -Ironing.

Ironing.

-Ironing. -Ironing.

Ironing.

-Ironing. -Perfect.

-Have a go. -Ironing.

Ironing. Great.

Shall we try it quicker? Here we go.

-I live in the woods. -I live in the woods.

-And look for mistletoe. -And look for mistletoe.

-I live off the mistletoe. -I live off the mistletoe.

-That I find in the woods. -That I find in the mistletoe.

Hooray for the woods....

One more thing, on Saturday we have the exam, remember?

You know what it covers?

Introducing yourself, your job, introducing friends...

Yes? Great.

Dad, it doesn't fit.

-Does it fit or not? -Yes.

Valero, get a move on.

I'll go down first, Pep's waiting downstairs.

We have to keep an eye on the other workers.

Especially the builders, they're hopeless.

They fit things badly.

If they fit a box badly,

when you put the mechanisms in, it looks terrible!

They put them in too deep.

Bam, extra screws. More work, worse results.

TUESDAY

We always get the bloody buildings without lifts.

Right...

-Can I carry the toolbox, Pep? -No.

It's OK.

Which floor is it?

I'm saying I'm sorry! I was way out of line, yes.

-It doesn't matter! -I was out of line.

-Let's talk! Don't go! -It doesn't matter.

Let's talk about it! Are you just going to leave?

-Hi, we're here for the repair job. -Yes, sure.

Something makes it trip.

-Yes. -It's the fuse, isn't it?

And a burnt socket? Do you know where it is?

-A what? A socket? -A burnt socket, it says.

-No idea. -You don't know where it is?

Don't open it like that. Open it the normal way.

Here we go, the old man with his pet peeves.

You give it a knock here.

I'll open my toolbox how I like, I don't need you to tell me.

An old man's pet peeves.

Let's disconnect it.

Pep, ask Mr. Electrician

if he's managed to uncouple a few shitty fuses.

-Pep. -What?

The kitchen's disconnected.

Check that socket in the bathroom.

OK.

-Pep. -What is it?

Tell the hotshot to bypass the three-way switch.

Go on, tell him to bypass it! We'll give it direct current.

Look at this one, Valero. Open that one.

Electrician!

Ask the electrician what colours he's got.

Leave him be. You check round here.

How's that going?

-Does he know multiway switches? -Sure he does.

Where he comes from they only have single pole ones.

-All the same, no? -Tell him they're all brown.

All the same colour.

The return's brown too.

Ask him if he can work out which is the right one.

Yes, sure. Stop getting at him.

Check the multiway switch, we'll toggle it and see.

-Have you found the return? -Yes.

Check that one.

-Pep! -What is it?

-Tell him to check the neon, Pep. -Listen...

You can sort this out between you.

-I'm sick of you, to and fro... -What's the matter now?

I'm off. I'm going to get some materials.

-Where are you going? -To get a few materials I need. Bye!

I'm saying I'm sorry. Jesus. I can't do more than that.

I want to talk things through, but if you don't want to...

Bollocks. That's not right.

It was up.

No, no, I turned it off.

-You're hopeless. Is it off? -Yes, I turned it off.

Bollocks.

You like mucking around, don't you? This is live.

That's a bit daft, isn't it? Someone your age.

I turned it off.

I tripped the fuse.

Yeah, sure.

It's on.

Are we going to concentrate or what?

I swear I turned it off.

Christ!

This is live, and I flicked the breakers down.

Bloody hell.

We've found the ghost. What are you doing here?

What did she do?

She was standing on a stool, barefoot, in front of the fusebox.

If she gets electrocuted, it's my fault.

Your dad left you here to keep an eye on her.

Hi.

-You don't disrespect adults. -It's my house.

Christ! There are two of you!

So which one was it?

Mohamed, can I ask you something?

-Yes. -Where are you from?

Morocco.

I'm from Morocco.

Would you like to have a wife?

Yes.

Would you like to have children?

Of course.

Would you like to have a girl or a boy?

Moha, can't you get her to sit down?

-Turn on the light! - We need 20 minutes.

But if you carry on pestering us.... I've already got a headache.

Moha, get the other ladder and find something to fix this.

Moha, you're a nice person, please turn on the electricity!

I can't.

-I'll have to take a paracetamol. -You're a bad boss!

-Those girls. -Turn on the electricity!

Less chit-chat with the girls, we have to get to work.

All bloody day to fix a switch and a socket. I'm sick of it.

Mr. Electrician, what's this?

-220, right? -What's the voltage, 220?

You've been working here all day and you don't know what the voltage is?

So what is it?

I'm not going to tell you.

A real electrician would know that.

Good God. Even a third-grade apprentice.

-No answer? -No answer.

-Well they can get on with it. -Wait till you get there.

They're grown-ups. I just hope they haven't messed up.

No. They're good workers, it's just...

they do things differently...

Nowadays, people... They just don't do things right.

-I've had it up to here with them. -You have to stand over them.

-If you don't watch them... -And it just gets worse.

They don't respect the tools.

They can't sharpen a drill bit, they can't file or saw.

They do it all with power tools! They don't use screwdrivers.

-Oh no, tighten a screw? -No, no!

-They'd break an arm! -They injure themselves!

We never had those before. It was all done by hand.

This is not a neon, it's a tester...

What do you mean they've gone?

And the door's locked?

What are you doing?

Girls! Hey, girls!

Open the door! Why are you even here today?

Locked up by those bloody girls?

You couldn't keep an eye on them? What do we do now?

Spanish?

Welcome!

Have you got...?

Closed.

We're closed. We can't get out.

Do you have a phone?

No! Closed!

I can't.

I'm locked out.

Call! Call! Yes!

Call!

Go on, do me a favour. Welcome.

Please!

Welcome!

Our work is difficult.

More than people think.

In one place, you expect the pipe to be copper,

but then you find it's lead, which is much more complicated.

You can't make plans.

There are always surprises.

Have you eaten?

No.

Here.

Here, have some.

Go on, have some.

It's a casserole my wife made. It's good.

You smell that? Tuck in.

What are you doing?

-My homework. -Come and do it in the dining room.

-No, you're too noisy. -Come on, we'll be quiet.

Can you shut the door, please?

OK, study.

WEDNESDAY

Green eyes, skin like cinnamon...

-What's up, boss lady? -Here we are.

Do you remember when we were young?

Those afternoons, when we were young?

When your dad... we stayed in doing the "invoicing".

Please.

Your favourite worker. You drive him crazy.

Moha is there.

Where's Pep? Did he sleep in?

-Pep's not coming in today. -What?

No. I gave him a day off.

He wasn't with us yesterday either.

You try out Moha, that's why he's here.

It's no good.

No good?

You're giving me that look.

-I get the message, but it's no good. -Walls have ears!

-Well? All loaded up or what? -Once I get the compressor.

Shit!

It's the boss lady! She puts me on edge!

Really?

-Bye, beautiful. -Bye.

-Moha, have you got everything? -It's all ready.

Have a good day.

Let's see where they lock us up today.

You get the air thing.

OK.

Oops, I'll have to step on this lovely lady's floor.

Come in... A kiss.

Come in.

Go on.

Yes, yes...

Yes. From my point of view...

...we talk about femininity, eroticism,

but always portray the woman as a human being, with things to say.

Not just through her body,

or her erotic language, or whatever, a woman...

Just a sec.

OK, now...

Hold that up a bit, so I can see your leg.

A hand under your breast. Yes, that's right.

Smile...

Great. Head down...

Give me a kiss.

That's right. And your body, as if you wanted to...

That's right. Great.

Perfect.

We need to scrape the ice and check the fan.

OK.

You look nice and cool.

-You're nice and cool. -I'm sorry, what? "Fresquita?"

-I don't speak Spanish. -Your clothes, nice and cool.

-Your shirt? My... -Yes.

Butiful. You very butiful.

-Thank you! -Very beautiful.

-Is it very iced up? -No, not really...

How old are you?

I really don't understand. I'm so sorry. What?

Years, years...

-English, do you speak any English? -No.

I'm so sorry.

But I speak with my heart... Butiful.

Does that bother you?

I'm sorry.

Your head, further back. La tête... What is it in English?

That's right.

Perfect.

So do you like Spanish women or not?

I like them all.

So you'd jump on any woman?

Not jump.

You have to look out in Spain. Lots of man eaters on the prowl.

All these divorces, it's full of predatory divorcees.

They're after men like us, they don't want muscles.

They like men who are ugly, but nice.

Especially construction workers.

It's a fetish for them.

Could you help me move something?

-I can't do it on my own. -We're busy.

It'll just be a second, and I only need one of you.

OK?

-I'll be in here. -You go.

Go on, off you go.

OK.

-And now... -Here?

Yes, here please.

You're so strong!

And now...

And now this swing in that gap over there.

Yes, like that.

Has anyone ever taken your photo?

-Not in a studio. -You've never had it done?

And you've never done adverts?

-No, never... -No?

You'd look very good.

Exactly. We'll put that piece here.

You'd photograph well. And you've never considered modelling?

I've never considered it.

Those eyes, and that body, you should try it.

Could you get out the plinth, it's a bit difficult...

Of course.

What a nuisance.

-Hi, morning. -Hi.

How are you doing?

-How's it going? -Fine.

I can see that.

Crikey, a baby.

-See? -Is it yours?

Yes.

-Two months, three? -Two and a half.

Are you here to do photos with him?

Yes. With her, she's a she.

I didn't see the earrings from up there.

Try sitting here for a second.

Yes, like that. Exactly.

Let's see, turn round a bit.

Straighten your body up. And look that way.

Wow, I'd really like to... Sit up even straighter.

Such lovely hair...

Yes, it would be... I think you'd feel comfortable.

What do you think?

Could we do it?

Actually...

I can't right now.

Think it over. Change position, make yourself comfortable.

We could try different things, different positions.

Maybe, what we could do, to bring out those eyes of yours...

We could put on some oil. You'd rub it in.

Then I'd use a spray to put some droplets on you,

as if you were sweating.

Your skin would look like bronze. What do you think?

Are you a trainer?

Yes.

-You do diets and things? -Yes.

That's what I need.

You can come too, whenever you like.

If I can find someone to look after the baby.

It's your disposition.

I've been dieting all my life and it's no use.

I get to a point where I think, "Hooray for bacon!" and I go for the bacon.

-Are you sure you're doing it right? -Yes, yes.

I've seen a lot of doctors, and it's no use.

Lift up your heel a bit.

Perfect.

Same again, but turn your head this way.

But defiantly, too.

Looking at the camera.

Look at me, that's right.

Defiantly.

Oh no, the memory card...

The card's run out.

Just one second.

Can you wait? Don't move.

I'm sorry.

Stay the way you are, leaning forward.

Now look at the camera. Look at me.

Yes, and your eyes... Hold on.

Let's see where I want you.

Here.

Your back's straight, isn't it?

Look down, turn your face a little there, I like it.

OK, and now...

Could I take one without the T-shirt?

Taking off your T-shirt?

I just think it's going very slowly.

I need the drill, Valero.

-Huh? -I need the drill.

Why do you need the drill if you're moving furniture?

Get back here. I've been up and down this ladder...

That was out of order.

It's not like he's a quick worker either.

At least I do work. I don't spend my life in the gym.

People who go to gyms work too, you know.

Sure, sure.

7 hours a day in the gym, how much time's left for work?

Do you want me to measure your body fat too?

I don't need my fat measuring, I know it's there.

But you have to be polite, and not laugh at people's flaws.

Especially not because you think you're better looking than they are.

I don't think I'm better looking.

I just said, if you want me to measure...

That's what people really value in someone.

Let's see if the air is fixed.

-It looks like it's leaking. -It's not working.

-So it's not fixed. -No.

I'd say it's worse.

If you don't fetch a mop soon, we'll be leaving in a canoe.

Yes...

Moha!

Moha!

Fucking hell...

That's right, hold it there.

Can you turn your head towards me?

Fantastic. Look at those muscles!

Seductively... Oh, so handsome.

No...

Why not, Valero? The guy's a good worker.

Paqui, it's like when you have a girlfriend,

you go out twice, and you say, "It's not going to work out."

-It's the same. -You must get along with him.

He's been here two and a half days.

Give him a chance.

No, Paqui, because a person can know in only four hours...

-You can't know. -I can.

I know.

If I get on with someone, or not.

Your mind was made up from the start.

You never got on because you didn't want to.

Besides, you need him. Or you're on your own.

I'm about to retire. It's all in the bag.

You're going against me. Tear this and that's it.

-No, it's not. Pep has to retire. -I've earned it.

And you have to adapt. Let him be, he's on trial.

You're making him waste a week. On Monday, I won't want him around.

-We'll talk about that, Valero. -No, we won't.

-No, Valero. -Go on, give me a slice.

Valero. Really?

It's a lot.

Suffering all week, and now you're going to eat that?

Go on, give me a slice. I need it today.

OK, but half.

That's a whole one, that's a lot. Shall I give you half?

Go on then, half.

Without bread, it's a crime.

What do we do then?

If we're going to be bad, let's do it right.

A normal beer, and a bit of bread.

-Valero, are you sure? -Yes. Go on.

Let's cheer ourselves up.

After all that effort...

Well... It's meat.

Two proteins more, two less, you'd hardly notice.

-Here. -It's delicious.

You like it?

Good god.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Now this is beer...

What a load of shit.

Let's see...

No. Here.

What a load of shit.

What are you doing?

A diet.

A diet? What for?

So I can fit in my suit.

Not the suit again...

We're not 20 any more.

We're not Moha's age.

Can we drop that subject?

What's wrong?

You look fine, don't get upset.

You're in a bad mood, my boy.

That's because you're on a diet.

-Fat people are happier. -Yeah, whatever.

-It was me. -Why?

-I finished mine. -I told you not to touch my things.

Moha, what's wrong? Aren't we your friends?

Ever since you met your Chinese friend

and started studying Catalan...

Have you forgotten your friends?

When you take something that isn't yours, buy some more.

-Do you get it? -Come on, forget about that.

You're not children.

-What's up, brown Catalan? -What did you say?

I didn't say anything.

You take my tea, and now you're cracking jokes?

Don't you see? They'll never accept you.

-You think I'm like you? -All this grooming.

What are you getting ready for? It's like you're going to a wedding.

-More important than a wedding. -Why would they accept you?

They haven't accepted the ones who came before you.

THURSDAY

Careful, that porcelain is delicate.

What are you doing here?

Do you know why he's here?

What are you doing?

What are you doing here?

I'm paying you a visit. How's it going?

It's going fine. Aren't you retired?

Oh, it's OK.

I don't have a clue what's going on.

You get that drain pipe fitted.

They've leaned this up here.

They should take that outside. It can't stay here.

Look. They didn't even sweep up.

And this wall. They couldn't have done it worse.

This is just great.

What a disaster.

Not one thing right.

This is all upside down.

The grouting's off.

What a disaster.

Total crap.

Look at the box.

That should go up here.

It's not at the right distance, or the right height, or anything.

-Get me the level, Moha. -Sure.

Look here...

I don't know what we'll do with these people, but this is a disaster.

What with the hood, and this...

Pep, it's done. We provide solutions.

No, not solutions.

If they don't do it right, we have to tell them.

-Dammit. -Solutions.

It's always the same.

Then we have to deal with the consequences.

Fewer problems. Solutions.

You should have kept an eye on them.

In the end, it looks like it's our fault.

It's not our fault. They left it like this.

They cut the tube too short and stuck it in the wrong place.

This socket can't go here.

-Is the grout mucked up there too? -It's short of grout here too.

Look at it. Here, there. This whole wall needs fixing.

The socket has to be higher, they won't approve that.

You'll see, Mr. Tomàs will be furious.

And we'll get the blame.

We'll end up paying for their mistakes.

This is the builders' fault.

You've got some bloody nerve to do things like this.

I really don't get it.

If the first row is off, the others just get worse.

And the joints...

There are two ways to do joints, either flush, so they're plumb,

or you put cross spacers in, but everywhere.

You started without a level, not one is straight at the bottom.

And from there, you ballsed it up, good and proper.

Instead of these crappy wedges, you should have used cross spacers.

-The joints would have been even. -Get the things.

You can get your things, but no one's leaving.

Yes.

Well, the little old bald man came.

The one who goes on and on... And he won't let us work.

-Tell him to come. -He wants to talk to you.

-Right... -Tell him to come.

-And come quick. -I'll tell him.

-This is urgent. -Alright.

There's no bloody way to fix this.

Hey! He's here.

-He's coming. -Great. Let him come.

To make a nice kitchen, you sometimes need harsh words.

You need strength, but intelligence too,

and a delicate touch to get the finish right.

People don't see that.

You have to be in sync with the other workers.

Whoever comes in first has to do a good job.

If he gets it wrong, you've blown it.

You have to start all over again.

You can get your things, but you're not leaving.

Until your boss arrives, no one is leaving.

You haven't got one right. It all has to be torn down.

-It all has to be torn down. -Excuse me.

Out of respect for your age.

I called my boss, and he's coming to talk to you.

-No, no, he'll come. -OK?

-You're out of order. -But you're not leaving.

-We've finished. -You haven't finished.

You've finished it badly.

They're not doing anything until the boss comes.

No, sorry. You've finished it badly.

-Nobody's going anywhere. -Get the things.

Do this in Germany and they'd put you in prison.

-Listen, old man... -Don't call me old!

-We have to go. -No.

-We've finished. And we're going. -You're not leaving!

-Depending on the symptoms? -Exactly.

Ah, perfect.

I bet you two are proud. Who's going to pay for the wall now?

-He deserved it. -Don't give me that nonsense.

And I thought you were a civilised person. Christ, Pep.

Depends who with.

The other one, egging you on.

We're not in your neighbourhood, fighting and smashing walls.

Does it hurt?

No.

And on top of that he's pleased with himself!

I showed him.

Showed him? You sprained your arm!

-Bloody hell, Jesus Christ. -What happened?

He thinks he's Rambo, at his age.

We had a ruckus at work.

It was these...

-What happened? -Three builders showed up...

They did a lousy job, a kitchen that was supposed to look good.

He's pissing himself.

-Grandad with a lump hammer. -Are you serious?

They were messing us around. Bunch of pricks.

They did a tiling job. The tiles looked like...

they'd been thrown on, like cards.

However they landed, cracked, chipped...

They made us a hole for a box...

It looked like they'd done it with a catapult.

The new lad we've got. He took my side.

-He stepped in... -They looked like a pair of lunatics.

One with a lump hammer, the other with a mattock.

You stayed out of it did you, Valero?

-He went for it? -Yes, he tapped it a bit.

I picked up a 3 kilo lump hammer...

We knocked the wall right over.

The only good part was that Mr. Hotshot stood up for us.

It all ended well, and that's that.

It didn't end well!

-You feel better now. -I feel bloody great.

I'm going to eat a crisp to celebrate.

Get grandpa a herbal tea to calm him down.

Herbal tea? I'll have beer.

You eat your carrots, it'll do you good.

He's celebrating today.

Look, an almond.

What is it?

I'm starving.

Will you turn off the light?

Starving...

Turn it off, now!

-Hi, I'm Moha. -Yes.

-Sorry, my name is Moha. -Very good.

-I'm from Morrocco and I live in Cornellà. -Very good.

And I'm 30 years old.

Great. Then, usually...

I'm going to ask a few questions about your professional experience.

-Can you turn down the TV? -Let me see.

-Turn it down, we're working. -It's not very loud.

Yes, but we're studying.

I know you're studying.

Why not stay in your room?

-I don't have a TV in my room. -Please, give us some space.

-Shall we continue? -Sure.

Can you talk a little about your professional experience?

My professional experience...

What are you laughing about?

-Nothing... -Let us study.

We want to watch TV.

Let us study. Let us work for five minutes.

We have the right to watch TV.

Then watch it, but be quiet.

Shall we carry on?

As for languages, I speak Spanish, Catalan...

That guy too...

Do you want to tell me what's so funny?

What language is that?

What's so funny?

What's so funny?

Go to the bedroom, please.

You two go.

-Then shut up. -This isn't the place for studying.

-Why not? -You two go to the bedroom.

We want to watch the telly.

In 50 metres, turn right.

-In 50 metres we turn right. -It can't be. There's a roundabout.

That's what this gizmo says.

Come on, it's Friday, we have to get home early.

At the roundabout, take the second exit.

-The first... -The second.

-That's is the first, right? -Yes.

Recalculating route.

Recalculating route? Wrong way again?

Did you write the address in Catalan? Or in Spanish?

I wrote what's on the sheet, Valero.

What does it say? Read it.

-Passeig de Suïssa... -That's in Catalan, "passeig".

I'm not doing Catalan classes, and I pronounce it better than you.

-You have to put "Passeig de la Suïssa". -I wrote it exactly as it is here.

Maybe you wrote it wrong, put on the mic and pronounce it.

"Passeig de la Suïssa".

Welcome, enter your appointment time and your PIN verification code.

FRIDAY

Enter our appointment time?

Enter your appointment time, and your PIN verification code.

No! No! You've moved it!

Turn it to my right a bit.

My right!

-A bit more to my right. -Is it OK here?

Move it to the left. We're not seeing the wall.

Turn it to the left.

-My left. -That's what I'm doing.

Moha, my left!

No, too far. A bit less.

These days, money is all that matters.

Those who have most, want it all.

Home automation, a luxury car, treats, a huge boiler, and so on.

Someone with no money doesn't want all this.

Why do they want WiFi if they don't have water or electricity?

Spray some more rat poison over there!

It's connected.

-Is the position right? -Yes, I'll turn it on.

What did you do? Why's it all going on?

-Sprinklers activated. -What did you do, Valero?

It was you, you've got a wire crossed!

Ambient light dimming system activated.

You blame me for leaving the lights on.

But I always have to turn off the radio, because I'm working...

I hear the radio and it bothers me.

You're always complaining, I never do.

I think it should be the other way round.

Always the same, Lambert.

What do you want me to do? I suppose that's why we're here.

To talk about everything.

No! This one...

Now.

What?

What did you press?

-The restart button. -Yes, I pressed it.

Something's wrong.

Leave it, it's doing its thing.

I don't know.

Let's wait a bit. Is that OK by you?

Look, it says 15 minutes.

-Continue restart. -Never mind. It's OK.

Can we wait 15 minutes?

-Yes. -Please.

Do you need anything?

No, I'm fine.

Forgive me, but you don't seem fine.

Please, sit down. Let's talk.

What's wrong? Is something wrong?

No, nothing's wrong.

So...

First I'd like to know your names.

-My name is Alfredo. -Mine's Valero.

-What's that? -Valero, Valero.

-Valero? -Yes.

-And you? -I'm Moha.

-Yumaja? -Moha.

Moha.

How do you feel about the job?

Fine.

-Going well? -Yes.

And your relationship, how's that going?

There's no relationship, I met him a week ago.

What do you mean, no relationship?

Not much of one. We've been together a week.

There must be a relationship.

-Do you want there to be a relationship? -Not really, to be honest.

How do you feel about what your partner's saying, Monja?

Something's wrong, I think, and it's quite dense, quite weighty.

No, we're just not compatible.

That's it.

Go on, say it.

You don't have the guts to say it.

You hide behind Pep and the boss.

You don't have the guts. Say it! You can't stand me.

I don't hide behind anyone.

I get on with them.

-I don't get on with you. -Olé! Hallelujah!

At last! You said it!

I've been expecting that all week!

From the start, from the first day, you have treated me badly.

Why should I be soft on you?

Because you're not Spanish?

No, sorry, I'm just as hard on everyone...

-OK. -...who I've just met.

If it was someone else, I'm sure you would...

Treat them better because they're Spanish?

No, I'm a bastard to everyone.

I want to test them.

I want a partner I can trust.

I don't give a shit whether you're an Arab, Catalan or Spanish.

-Valero, please -You're the prejudiced one.

Just say what you fucking think for once!

You're a bastard! A liar!

I don't like you, and I say it.

Enter your exit code.

-Hi, Nuria. -Hi, how are things?

Not too bad.

-Evening. -Evening.

-What's up, Pep? -Hi.

What's that?

My suit for the wedding tomorrow.

The other one wasn't happening.

Right...

-It wasn't to be. -Too small, was it?

I told you.

I'm knackered.

Really?

How come?

The hotshot left me in the lurch.

You've put him under a lot of strain and... It's over, right?

He said enough.

I told you he wasn't fit.

He wasn't my partner.

You need more psychology. You're too rough on people.

You come out with something. Spontaneously.

And bam. They're off.

Am I wrong?

I know how it is.

Oh, I know.

You just can't help it.

-Did I treat you badly? -No.

You don't realise it, bam.

Good evening.

-Do you want a flower, Sir? -No, no.

-Hello, do you want... -No, no, thanks.

Do you have any milk, Hamid?

When we ask, you won't give us any, and now you're asking us.

-I forgot to buy any. -It's a joke, sit down.

I can't. I've got a Catalan exam tomorrow.

Come on! You've already got a job.

Forget about your classes and sit with us.

Come on, sit down. What's wrong?

There's no job anymore.

Why? What happened?

I had a row with the foreman. It's over.

-You got in a fight with him? -It's over, I'm tired of it.

-Putting up with it? -I can't take any more.

Don't worry. Hang out with us, enjoy yourself.

That moustache you grew for your job looks good on you.

You bastard.

It suits you.

You're the spit of Alhou Aka.

All that's missing is the joint!

Want us to make you one?

I need one.

-Tell me who did it to you. -Ha Trbouch.

You're taking the piss. You like my moustache?

An Alhou Aka moustache.

Watch the match, it'll do you good.

Thank God that week's over.

What a week you've put us through.

We've all had to have a lot of patience.

Between the diet...

...Pep leaving...

You've been in a foul mood.

I don't know why Moha hasn't left.

He's got the patience of a saint.

Because he's put up with a lot.

But anyway. It's all over.

And we're off to the wedding, and look how handsome you are.

Give me a spin so I can look at you.

Fantastic.

We're going to shake our tail feathers.

I'm going to iron my dress.

What a load of shit.

Pep!

I'm coming.

I'm going to bed.

I don't know my neighbours even though they're close by.

There's only a wall between us.

But we're connected in the same network.

Of water, electricity, gas, the telephone.

Our building is connected to others and our city to other cities.

And the continents are connected too.

Even so, we are still alone.

SATURDAY

-Are you already dressed? -Yes, I'm dressed.

It's not for two hours, look at the state of me.

Well, I'm dressed.

Listen.

I'm going out.

-Is something wrong? -No.

-I'm just going out for a minute. -OK.

-OK, see you. -See you.

-Hi. -Hi.

-Who is this, Hamid? -Your guess is as good as mine.

Ask him.

What's your name?

Valero.

What kind of name is that?

-Valerio? -No, Valero.

Valero?

-Where are you from? -Barcelona.

Ah, from Barcelona.

What do you do?

-I'm a plumber. -A plumber.

Have you done a course or are you just an odd-job man?

No. I've studied.

Who knows...

He probably just does odd jobs.

-Are you married? -Yes.

-Do you have children? -A daughter.

Ah, a daughter.

-Has his wife kicked him out? -He looks like he's going to a funeral.

He thinks we're going to eat him, or rob him, or take that envelope.

He's puffing like a snake.

With that belly and his glasses...

...he reminds me of a Pokémon.

I'm telling you.

Well, that's his boss.

A little respect, guys.

What did we do?

-Would you like some? -OK.

Feel at home.

Here.

Let's see what you've got there.

Let's see.

It's Van Damme with no muscles.

I swear it's Van Damme with no muscles.

Take it, have a look.

He thinks so too.

Look how he's holding the drill.

Look at that...

-Like a model. -He's going to be a model!

-I think this is Photoshop. -Photoshop? You wish.

You need to eat more, you're not strong enough.

Chickpeas, paellas, good stuff.

-I eat things you don't. -Couscous.

You eat couscous. That stuff's so sticky.

You get a spoonful, and it's like this.

Is that all you know? Couscous?

You're comparing food from your country with mine?

A paella, good God.

-Paella? -No comparison, son.

You're taking your time, aren't you?

-I've loosened it already. -To fix a drain.

-Do it yourself if you like. -At this rate we won't get paid.

My God.