Original subtitles

LOUDSPEAKER CHIMES

ANNOUNCER:'The 08:30 Great Central Rail service

'is ready to depart from Platform...'

Think.

Remember!

SHE EXHALES

LOUDSPEAKER CHIMES

'The 09:35 Great Central Rail service to Penderham...'

SHE GASPS

WHISTLE BLOWS

LOUDSPEAKER CHIMES

'Please keep an eye on any personal belongings or bags.

'Any personal belongings found unattended

'are to be dealt with by security.'

This the one, is it? Yeah.

TICKET READER BEEPS

HE GRUNTS

WHISPERS: Fucking puzzle...

Edward, I can explain! Leave me alone!

Look, Edward, wait, please.

Your mendacity is as breath-taking as it's inexplicable.

And I thought I'd found someone to make this Godforsaken place

half-way bearable! No fool like an old fool!

Well, at least hear me out before you rush to judgement!

It only just happened.

Someone I was close to came into the station with my parents,

and before I knew it, I was out. I remembered how I died!

I was climbing the fence by Platform 7.

I was trying to get over to it, but someone was there

grabbing me and... Someone you know?

I didn't see their face, but I know it wasn't a suicide.

I wouldn't place too much store in it.

Slippery buggers, memories, they play tricks on you.

They're all that I have.

How else am I supposed to find out why I died?

Well, does it really matter? We are where we are.

The past can't be changed or erased. My memory is real. I know it.

Keep going down this road,

you might find you don't like what's at the end of it.

TELEPHONE RINGS

Doctor Richard Shale. Neurology department.

Is Doctor Shale available?

When does his shift start?

No, no message.

What is it? Did you see something?

I saw something. Someone was chasing me.

Taking a tour round the station, yeah.

BUZZER

Now a better time?

As our investigation team on the Evans case no doubt told you,

in fatality cases, it's our responsibility to...

I didn't speak to any investigators. Why would I?

I barely saw her after Matt moved in...

well, Doctor Goodson, moved in with her. He's lying!

Ask him what he was doing hanging round my flat at night.

But... you did attend her birthday party?

Matt suggested I went. So what?

The coroner determined the cause of death

was due to Miss Evans' mental health issues.

Did you ever witness any episode of that?

Given my meagre contact with her, it's unlikely, wouldn't you say?

During the weeks prior to her death,

she told a work colleague that she saw you outside her flat

on several occasions. Now we're getting there.

I run that way sometimes.

So, when was it that you last saw her?

No, stick with the running!

Why always at night, when Matt was at work?

I don't remember.

I've been out of the country for most of the year,

I only got back last week.

Columbia Vale University.

Research fellowship, mitochondrial dysfunction and cognitive defects.

Sounds impressive.

Can you recall the date you left for the US?

September 2nd, 22:30, Luton Airport, seat 22A.Very specific.

It was a specific question.

Er... September 2nd was... the day after Evans' death.

Yeah, I-I didn't know about it then. He's lying again!

Doctor Goodson didn't tell you? Well, why should he?

You used to be flatmates, work in the same hospital.

I'm not his fucking keeper!

I only found out about it in the States,

on her memorial page on social media. Now you should go. Now!

You should be talking to someone who actually knew her.

You're wasting your time talking to me. And wasting mine.

Oh, Jesus...

HE SCREAMS Argh!

CHURCH BELL RINGS

I'm so sorry.

HE GRUNTS

BIRD CAWS

TELEPHONE RINGS

DOG BARKS Hello. Hiya!

TELEPHONE RINGS Hi, Rosie.

I was thinking about you on Lisa's anniversary the other day.

And me you. So many times I meant to call you, but, you know...?

Get this. A constable from the Transport Police

contacted me about Lisa's case.

Tying up some loose ends in her file, he said.

'I don't know, something didn't sit right.

'If there's some doubt about her case,

'why send someone so junior, you know?'

Did he say there were doubts about it?

'Why else would he be sniffing around, asking questions about her?'

Because he doesn't buy it was a suicide and neither should you!

'Hey, why don't we meet for a drink?'

Time we have a catch up, hm?

I'm free tonight.

'Domino at six o'clock?' Yeah. Yeah, why not?

Oh, I ran into Matt a couple of weeks ago.

'He's still punishing himself over it.

'Poor bastard barely spoke about anything else.'

I've got a customer. See you later, then.

BELL RINGS Why did you do that, Izzy?

She was just trying to reach out to you.

The 11:35 to Birmingham always leaves from Platform 6.

That was one thing that one could rely on.

And now suddenly, poof!

It's vanished from the departure board! Ergo...

Yeah, sir, if you'd just... I'm still talking!

Sir, if you just...

Passengers can't find it, customer numbers plummet,

and your powers-that-be have the excuse they need

to cancel the service altogether. Am I right?

If you check the departure board, sir,

you'll see the 11:35 Birmingham service

has been temporarily relocated to Platform 4.

My point still stands.

LOUDSPEAKER CHIMES

ANNOUNCER: 'The 11:35 Great Central Rail service to Birmingham...'

How you have the patience! Practice.

Er... I have news.

Why check her out on social media if he barely knew her?

And taking off to the US the day after she died!

Coincidence? Mm. Or convenience.

Three reasons someone goes under a train.

They jump... it was an accident, and they fell...

or they were pushed.

Check this out.

OK. Lisa's flat is on Victoria Road. The station.

The direct route from her flat is south, down King Street,

right onto The Crescent and over the footbridge.

Wait, do... do we know for sure she was coming from her flat?

Her partner confirmed it at the inquest, I checked the transcripts.

They, er, they went to bed about 11:00...

he, er, woke in the morning to find her gone.

He tried calling her, but she left her phone behind.

Now... from the CCTV, what there is of it,

instead of going south down King Street,

she took a left, went into Queen's Alley,

then all the way down Dawes Road,

before entering the car park... and reaching the security fence.

If it was the station she was trying to get to,

why not go directly there?

Er, maybe she...

It explains her circuitous route... she was trying to shake them off.

Why didn't CID pick up on it?

Well, maybe they weren't looking hard enough.

Someone goes under a train,

the assumption is it's probably suicide.

They look for the facts that fit the theory.

You're really into this, aren't you?

I know it's only one tragedy among thousands that happen in the world.

But we can't do anything about those, can we?

Maybe this is one I could do something about.

Plus, I'm into puzzles. Well... Wordle, sudoku.

Yeah. Plays to my strengths.

Well, you're not short of those.

Does Inspector Barker know you're doing all this?

Oh, you... Be careful, Kash.

HE CLEARS THROAT I was wondering if, er...

TELEPHONE RINGS

Shit. Oh, erm... I've really gotta get this, sorry.

What genius came up with all these new shift patterns?

Yeah, well, all the chopping and changing,

I'm the one who has to try and sell it to my staff.

SHE PANTS

SHE GROANS IN FLASHBACK

SHE INHALES SHARPLY

Barker clocked you weren't at the briefing.

It's OK, I told him about

your hospital appointment. Hospital appointment?

I heard you on the blower asking for that urology doctor.

Is it prostate? Ha.

Been there, mate.

Turned out OK but it was scary shit - for a while. - Just, can I...?

It was neurology, not... not urology.

And, erm... I wasn't calling about me.

The woman who went on the tracks last year? Yeah.

I've been looking into her case. There's definitely something...

Wait... What?

Platform 7, the teacher who climbed over the fence.

Hold it. Let me get my head round this.

I go over the line to cover for you,

while you're going AWOL on a year-old case

over some bird who topped herself? I didn't ask you to, did I? Fine.

Next time, you're on your own.

TELEPHONE RINGS

OMINOUS MUSIC

HE CHUCKLES

MUSIC DROWNS OUT DIALOGUE

WOMAN:Hey! MAN:Got you a coffee.

Oh, thank you.

Oh. You came. I was afraid that you'd change your mind.

Let's get it over with before I do.

LOUDSPEAKER CHIMES

'The 16:36 South Rail service to Knatty Hill has been delayed.'

How'd you know it was this one where Dad did it? Social media.

It was the same platform as another suicide last year.

I'm done. I'll see you in the cafe.

Remind me why you thought this was a good idea.

I don't know. Closure?

The only people who get closure are the dead. You think?!

It's never a good idea, revisiting the scene of the crime.

Look, I've been thinking about you. And, erm, there's this guy at work,

and his wife is a therapist, and she specialises in cases like yours.

"Cases like mine"?

Yeah, you need talk through what happened to you, Ella, with someone.

Someone neutral, who can help you process it and...

I don't need a bloody therapist, I'm fine.

Open your bag.

SHE SCOFFS

It's crap what they say,

that you can't smell vodka on people's breath.

Yeah, well, I'm really not in the mood

for one of your brotherly pep talks right now, Luke.

OK. I know that I've been judgmental.

But all those years, watching you lose yourself in pills and booze

and God knows what...

You thought I was weak... and self-indulgent.

In fact, you actually told me that... more than once.

And I'm sorry. Erm, you have no idea how sorry,

but I didn't know then, Ella, I didn't... know.

But this is your chance to get your shit together, don't you see that?

To take control of your life,

to be the person that you were always meant to be.

But you have to find out who she is.

And you can't do that on your own. She's expecting your call.

And that's how it works, apparently. You have to take the initiative.

It's not about me, though, is it? It's about you.

Because if I clean up my act, then, hey, presto,

your conscience over Dad is clean too.

And you get to go back to your little family,

knowing that you put the world to rights.

Trust me, my conscience on Dad is beyond clean!

Killing himself was the only decent thing he ever did

in his whole rank, miserable life.

I just fucking wish he'd done it years ago!

Finally, something we can agree on. Ella.

Particular kind of torture, isn't it?

How they take it for granted,

the freedom to come and go as they please.

I was looking for you earlier.

Your son and daughter were here. Ella was here?

Did you talk to her? No, of course you didn't.

How was she? How did she seem?

They wanted to see where you... Where it happened.

She called it, "Returning to the scene of the crime."

Why would she say something like that?

Cliches are a common coping mechanism in stressful situations.

Your son didn't seem stressed, more royally pissed off with you.

He and I never bonded in the way I did with Ella.

They're complicated things, families.

Then why did you do it? Why did you kill yourself?

I had my reasons. I must ask you to respect that.

Actually, it's not the first time I've seen her here.

It was a day or so after you did it.

Of course, I didn't know who she was then.

She was in the station caff, crying. She was?

You've no idea how gratifying that is,

to know she felt my loss so deeply.

You're her father. Why wouldn't she?

Not my business. Good. We're on the same page.

Weirdest thing. Seeing her crying that day

was when my memory started coming back.

Somebody said, Jung probably,

coincidence is just destiny in disguise.

Who knows? Perhaps our lives are destined to be entwined.

IZZY: 'What kind of inconsistencies?'

In the weeks prior to her death,

did Lisa ever mention Doctor Richard Shale to you?

Why? His name came up.

Apparently, he attended a surprise birthday party

Doctor Goodson held for Lisa. Did you also attend it?

And he was around when Matt moved into Lisa's flat.

What did you make of him?

Dunno. I just... He didn't seem comfortable in his own skin.

It's on record that Lisa became depressed

during the school summer holidays but resisted getting treatment.

Did she... discuss her reasons for that with you at all?

No. We weren't in contact then.

We had a... a bit of a falling out. A personal issue.

And I never bought the whole depression thing.

By definition, it means the absence of hope.

That just doesn't happen over a few weeks.

It corrodes over months, years, even.

Until you get to a place you hope for something,

but you know it'll never happen just cos you want it to.

If you've a theory about what might have been troubling her...

...I'd like to hear it.

Someone you love chooses to end their life...

it doesn't end your relationship.

It just leaves it hanging with questions

you know you're never gonna get the answers to.

I'm sorry, I just.. I can't wrestle with the whys of it any more.

I'm sorry, I can't go there again. Perhaps... I can go there for you.

MELLOW DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

BARMAID: There you go. MAN: Cheers. Thank you.

MAN CLEARS THROAT

WOMAN LAUGHS

MUFFLED CONVERSATION

ALL:Happy birthday!

CHEERING

WHOOPING

Oh, happy birthday, gorgeous!

I hope you don't mind, I've brought my cousin Jasmin,

I think you met her at my Christmas do. Yeah, that's fine, course.

Hey, babe. Hey, birthday girl!

FLASHBACK LISA: Was this your idea? 100% his.

Ha! - Happy birthday. - Ha-ha.

You look amazing. Thank you.

And I suppose you was in on it too? He swore me to secrecy.

THEY CHUCKLE I can't stand you (!) Thank you.

Er... Many happy returns.

I'm never sure what that means. Returns of what?

Well, just that you'll live to celebrate

more birthdays in the future.

SONG: 'Valerie'

♪ And I think of all the things What you do

♪ And in my head I paint a picture... ♪

Come on, then!

♪ Cos since I've come on home Well, my body's been a mess... ♪

MUFFLED CONVERSATION

LAUGHTER

FLASHBACK LISA: 'What's going on, Izzy?'

What, did someone upset you?

Tell me who and I'll go fucking sort 'em out, babe.

What is it, Izzy?

You feel it too, don't you? Something happened here.

ROSIE: Hi.

Rosie! Mm!

God, this place brings back memories.

Yeah. First time I've been back here since her birthday.

Yeah, me too. Seems like a lifetime ago, doesn't it?

Not to me, feels like yesterday.

Same again? Great. Thanks.

What the fuck happened here that night, Izzy?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Well... To Lisa. Lisa.

Transport Police Constable showed up at the shop this afternoon.

Said the same as he said to you,

about there being inconsistencies in her file.

I thought he seemed pretty genuine.

Empathetic. What did he ask you?

Wanted to know more about her "depression".

Oh, come on, Rosie. When did you ever see Lisa depressed?

Why else would she do what she did?

She had no other reason. Yeah. That we know of.

Matt was with her, he should know.

Why is it that people think that doctors walk on bloody water?

I knew Lisa since we were 11 years old.

We went to the same school,

we shared the same flat while she was at uni.

There was nothing that we didn't know about each other.

In all those years, she never showed one sign of depression.

Not once, ever. Matt explained that at the inquest.

It was the sudden-onset bipolar thing...

IZZY SCOFFS Bipolar?

What the fuck happened with you and Matt?

You saw the state he was in at the funeral.

He could barely hold it together,

yet you hardly said two words to him.

He loved her, Izzy. I know that for a fact.

Yeah, well, maybe you don't have all the facts. Meaning?

Stop fucking about, Izzy, if you know something, then say it!

You were jealous of him.

Yeah, all that stuff you shared with her, when she hooked up with Matt,

suddenly, she wasn't available to - you any more. - Yeah, fine. Whatever.

Well... Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

Yeah, maybe not. Hm. OK, then.

You know, we can all feel guilt that we weren't there for Lisa

in those last weeks. But blaming the one person who was...

it's more than unjust... it's fucking callous, Izzy.

ANNOUNCER:'The 17:05 Great Central Railway service to Birmingham

'will depart from Platform 3. This train will...'

You called me back, so talk to me.

Er, OK. Erm, when you ran out on me, where did you go?

I, erm...

...I went across the road.

And I sat on a bench and finished this.

And then I went around the corner to a pub, and I had another.

Others, plural.

It was all I could think about whilst we were here talking.

"When can I have a bloody drink?"

It's all I ever think about, really.

I drink before work, I drink at work, in the toilets.

And on my way home from work, I'll stop off at the pub.

And at home on the weekends, I do the exact same thing.

When I, when I fancy a change of scenery,

then I will go to a bar.

And I'll wait for a random man to buy me a drink.

Sometimes, they even tell me their name.

But I've forgotten it by the morning.

Because when I'm sober...

...when I'm sober he's in here... fucking with me, like he always has.

Do you remember this? I was gonna show it you yesterday.

It was when I was home after my first year at uni,

and I think you were, what, 11, 12?

And I took you to the park. Got someone to take our photo.

Dad was doing it to you, then, wasn't he?

Edward. Oh, my God!

And I remember thinking at the time, "What a little ingrate!"

I go to the trouble of taking you to the park

to feed the bloody ducks, and you barely open your mouth.

Told Dad the same thing when I got home

and he said that it was just a phase,

that you'd grow out of it.

And I swanned back off to uni, and I didn't give it a second thought.

I'm your brother, Ella. I should have protected you from him.

That night when... when I...

I told you what he had done to me... and you went to confront him...

...what exactly did you say?

I told you what I said when I came back.

I was drunk, remember?

HE CLEARS THROAT Yeah.

Erm, I told him that I was gonna expose him.

That I was calling the papers the next day.

That I'd put it all over social media.

And if I had to, I'd put posters on every street corner,

so the whole fucking world knew what kind of man...

the hallowed academic Edward Warren CBE really was.

You know, when they called, and they said that he was dead...

I thought that I was free of him.

And... I thought that it was over. But it's... but it's not.

Say it, Ella, whatever it is, tell him!

When I was in a pub,

a group of girls came in, celebrating something.

And they were about my age.

And... one of them kept looking over at me.

And suddenly, I saw myself through her eyes.

A 21-year-old, drunk, in a pub in the middle of the day...

...deciding whether if she has another drink,

she'll even be capable of walking home.

SHAKILY:It doesn't work any more, Luke. Why doesn't it work?!

SOBBING:Even when I'm drunk now, he's still in there,

he's still here... fucking with me!

So, are you saying that you'll do it... the therapy?

Ella...

Will you come with me? Every step of the way.

Let's get the car, I'll take you home.

Or better yet, why don't you come to mine?

Tess would love to see you. It's about time you saw the kids again.

SHE QUIVERS

SHE GASPS

LOUDSPEAKER

ANNOUNCER:'The 12:06 Western Cross service to Pelhamvale

'has been cancelled.

'Passengers looking to travel to Pelhamvale, Revington, Raserhill,

'should take the 12:44 to Raserhill.'

They were here again just now... Ella and Luke.

They were? So soon. Why?

They had things to talk about.

Concerning you.

Is Ella all right?

What was that thing you said about coincidence?

Years ago, when I was on my teacher training placement,

the behaviour of a girl in my Year 7 class really worried me.

Touching herself and talking about sex.

Things no child her age should know about.

Classic signs she'd been sexually abused.

Fascinating, though this sojourn down memory lane is...

Anyway, I reported it to the safeguarding leader,

and he said he'd look into it.

A week or so later, I checked in with him. And he said...

he said that he'd spoken with her father,

who was adamant that she didn't behave like that at home,

and that she must have learnt it from one of the older students.

Apparently, he was on the Board of Governors

and was a major donor to the school, so his word was never questioned.

Even so, I should have stood my ground.

But I didn't. I let it go. I failed her.

But you didn't kill yourself out of shame, or even guilt, did you?

You did it out of cowardice because your son was going to expose you.

SHE SCOFFS What, nothing to say?

That's not like you. You're usually full of it.

Then again, there is nothing you could possibly say

that I'll ever want to hear.

Before you get vertigo on your fucking moral high horse,

you should know that everything I shared with Ella

was entirely consensual! I was always scrupulous about that.

Luke was right.

It's a damn shame you didn't jump under that train years ago.

Oh, I'm not the coward here! At least I know why I did it!

You're the one on some deluded quest,

trying to find someone to blame because you can't face the fact

that your life was an abject, pointless failure!

You know nothing about my life.

You ended up under a train. Hardly a success story, was it?

Ella!

Ella!

Ella!

I'm trying to imagine if you were here,

what your side of this conversation would be, Dad.

But when I think about it, I know what you'd say.

You'd say, "Make Daddy happy, Ella!

"Show me you love me, Ella!"

I was a child.

And I trusted you!

And all these years after,

of feeling dirty... and feeling worthless...

...and all my fucked-up relationships

because you, you told me sex was just about love, and I believed you!

Well, fuck you, Dad! Fuck you!

I survived!

SHAKILY:And I want others to know that they can survive too...

...and that they're not alone and that it's not their fault either.

SHE SOBS I'm gonna finish what Luke started.

And I am... I am gonna drag your name through so much shit,

that's all you'll ever be remembered for.

And then I'm gonna wipe you from my mind

like you never fucking existed.

You don't get to haunt me any more!

You won't even be a ghost in my memory.

CHURCH BELL RINGS

TELEPHONE RINGS

Go on, give me your simmering, sexy look.

Ha! Oh, my God, that would make a great Christmas card!

SHE GIGGLES

If you... if you dare! If you dared!

SHE CHUCKLES

Lockhart requesting the file on that fatality last year from CID,

did you know about it?

Did you know? No... sir.

Find him. Tell him I want him in my office by close of play,

or don't bother coming back at all!

LOUDSPEAKER: 'Dr Beardmore, Resus Bay 2.'

MOBILE RINGS

Lockhart. 'You're in deep shit, man.'

CID's file on the fatality case you requested,

Barker's onto it. He's gone fucking ape.

'He wants you back in his office ASAP.'

'Kash?' AKASH HANGS UP

Prize one fucking idiot!

If you hadn't come to me, I'd have come to you.

Please.

Do you mind if I record this? I want you to.

I don't know where to begin.

KEYS JANGLE

FOOTSTEPS

DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE

WOMAN:Great flat. MATT: Glad you approve.

Who's this?

Lisa.

It's my ex. I was having a clear-out of some things and...

She died. Suicide.

My God... For the first few months after she moved in,

I-I really thought we were heading somewhere.

Then suddenly, she changed into a completely different person.

Interrogating me over every single text, every phone call.

Even turning up at work to check on me.

You know, who was I talking to? What was her name?

I'd come back from a day of mayhem at work,

and she'd start it all again.

God knows the hours I spent trying to...

trying to help her, trying to reassure her...

Someone gets into that kind of paranoid mindset,

nothing you can say or do...

Eventually, I... I ended it, for her sanity as much as mine.

And a week later, she threw herself under a train.

If it was to punish me... it worked.

You mustn't blame yourself... you tried to help her.

It wasn't enough, though, was it?

SHE QUIVERS

SHE GASPS

It was him.

FLASHBACK LISA WHIMPERS

SHE GASPS

It was Matty. HE PANTS

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