Original subtitles

? They always said it wouldn't hurt like this ?

[door opens]

? Still I think back through the weight of it ?

? I'm sitting there looking at the bridge ?

Carmie, your emotions are out of control.

You have no choice. [echoes]

You will be a Mythic

and destroy all humankind.

-No! [echoes] -[explodes]

[grunts]

[Madison] Carmie, are you okay?

[grunts] No.

I don't want this life.

Carmie, your emotions are out of control.

You need to calm down before you destroy your room.

Why? Nothing in my life is calm!

Tonight, I was finally a normal teenager,

glammed up, nice hair.

He danced with me.

[Madison] He asked you to dance?

Actually, I asked him.

But then my ultra-annoying best friends

decided to ruin my night

by telling me I have to start some sort of war.

Wait. What?

[Carmie] Yes. It's, like, some prophecy.

But I'm, like, 14! I can barely start a car!

How am I supposed to start a war?

[Madison] Prophecy?

That's what you're so weirded out about?

Do you know how many prophecies there are in the Mythic world?

Like, a billion, and they're never right.

Always some kind of twist no one sees coming.

You're not listening to me!

Dylan and Kev hunted a Goblin! He told them!

Pfft. A Goblin. Whatever.

Then it's for sure totally not true.

Goblins are known liars by trade.

-Really? -[Madison] Yeah!

I mean, how ridiculous is it that anyone thinks

that you could start a war?

Maybe I could.

No. No, you couldn't.

So, did he kiss you?

No. He was a perfect gentleman.

Oh, sorry. Did you kiss him?

Madison!

Okay, okay. So, tell me what happened.

[Carmie] It was perfect.

He looked great.

We danced, talked.

I looked great, too. [giggles]

?

-Para-cord. -Spider.

-Flint. -Snakes.

-[Dylan] Flare gun. -Flies. Beetles.

Beetles are an excellent source of high protein in the wild.

Not to mention the humidity wreaking havoc

for my sensitive skin and sinuses.

I hate outdoor school trips.

Man, I wish every class could be outside.

Prize for today's scavenger hunt is two tickets

to the Bash Brothers amusement park.

Those tickets are mine.

You've rappelled off buildings,

run across rooftops,

captured Hugars.

Isn't an amusement park a little boring for you?

The Inverted Cyclone Explosion Ride is calling me.

Not interested.

I had a bad experience there once.

-What happened? -I can't relive it.

[theme music playing]

?

?

Bags outside!

Leave 'em or lose 'em!

Careful! That has my midday cardigan in it!

[scoffs]

Guys, Madison said that Goblins are liars and tricksters,

and she doesn't believe any of your Goblin translation.

The Collector did say not to trust them.

Maybe it is wrong.

[sighs] Possible.

So let's just forget all of that and keep our eyes on the prize...

Inverted Cyclone Explosion Ride.

That's what I'm talking about! [chuckles]

[whistle blowing]

Come on in, team!

I want you to give a big welcome to Tristan,

our forest patrol guide!

He's going to be handing out the list for

the "Find Nature, Find Yourself" scavenger hunt!

First person to find and take photos

of all ten items wins

two free tickets to the amusement park!

So, find a partner and let's move!

[students chatter quietly]

-You're with me. -No, I'm not.

Yes, you are. You're clearly an indoor person,

and you're now, like, a local celebrity

since that cartoon book came out.

-It's a comic book. -Yeah, whatever.

You and me, partners for the day.

-Get excited. -[Kev] What?

[chuckles] Wow.

You're a forest patrol, too?

You do a lot of different things.

I can do a lot of different things. [giggles]

Like killing it on the dance floor?

Thanks for a great time. So, how about you win

-those tickets for us? -Excuse me,

but it's already decided.

We're partners.

I win, and I'm taking Carmie to the amusement park.

And what if Carmie wins?

Then does she get to decide who she goes with?

It's impossible she'll find more things than me.

No offense, Carmie, but I'm experienced as a hunter.

Besides, who else would she want to go upside down

at 3G force with?

You seem pretty confident.

The woods can be more dangerous than you think.

-Take that from Forest Patrol. -[laughs]

Hunter trumps patrol.

We're trained in bush craft, trap-netting,

and long-range archery.

[Tristan] The first item on the list is moss.

Survival food techniques.

You know we're only going to be there for one afternoon.

Oh, everybody thinks it's one afternoon

until it's been three months in the barren desert

and you've been living off of cactus needle stew.

Yeah. I'm always prepared.

?

I hope you're prepared for fire.

[bursting]

[all] Oh!

[Dylan] My flares.

[grunts]

?

One dust-free backpack.

Slight hiccup in the day. Not a problem.

This is my element. Consider those tickets locked.

While you're out there, keep an eye on Carmie.

She's been really heart eyes since the dance

with that guy Tristan.

There's something about that guy that I just don't trust.

[Kev] Is it the straight jawline, perfect hair,

or upper-class-person status that you mistrust?

-Oh, all of the above. -[chuckles]

-Ready to win this thing? -Yeah.

Hey, good luck, and, uh, if you get lost, just remember,

moss grows on the north side of the trees.

Follow it, and it will return you here.

Okay. Thanks.

We're not going to get lost,

and if you follow north, you'll end up over there.

But if you follow north minus three degrees,

then you'll end up back here.

Okay. Suit yourself.

All right, everybody!

Remember, this isn't a race!

It's a competition!

Trophies gather dust, but victory lasts forever.

[blows whistle] Go, go, go, go, go, go!

Don't talk. Bring those. Just follow.

No.

?

Look!

Nice. And

-[camera snaps] - plume moss.

Check. Two items down, eight to go.

We are so crushing this.

What do you expect? You name it, I can find it.

-Hmm. -Oh, great!

-Oh, here. Have some chives. -Chives?

I don't really understand them without a baked potato.

These are great for your cardiovascular health

and are chock full of vitamin K.

We are so getting these tickets. What's next on the list?

Uh, butterfly, an insect with large wings and...

Got it. I know what a butterfly is.

?

Look!

[softly] Carmie, no levitating.

And that's cheating.

What are you doing? Someone could see you.

Who? There's nobody here,

and I was just about to take a picture of this butterfly.

It was so weird.

I mean, it was so calm, and then it just took off.

Something must have alarmed it.

So, what's next on the list?

Nutrition, Carmie. Look, blueberries.

Bush full of them right in front of us.

Not for me. I need my food processed.

Your loss.

Always take advantage of a natural food source

when in the wild.

These are the best blueberries ever.

[Carmie] Dylan! Come on.

Let's go. I need to win these tickets.

?

? They call me Miss Independent ?

? I got the bag ?

Glamping!

Shoes!

? Big boy diamonds on my wrist ?

Today's episode of Leanna Live,

Glamping Edition, will be featuring... Huh.

And I can't believe that I'm saying this,

but what can you do when the pickings are slim

and you're in the wild... Kev,

the creator of Carmela, the comic book.

Hashtag you're welcome, hashtag Lea Kev.

[Kev] Why is my name listed second?

Kev Lea sounds so much better.

Don't argue with the host.

Now, introduce yourself using five active words.

[beeps]

This is my worst nightmare.

Okay. Dark, but okay.

We can work with that.

We're in the wild. Let's talk plants.

Did you bring indoor plants to the outdoor forest?

These are indoor air plants.

Choosing the right air plant is a make or break

to your glamping tent aura.

Tropicals and terrariums are a great way to be part of nature

while not being part it at all.

Oh, and remember to always spray your essential oils

to create that "just went hiking" smell.

No! No essential oils!

My sinuses! It burns! Ow!

Cedar wood and rain. Ah.

My eyes! No! [groans] Why?

[Carmie] We're never gonna find the Queen Anne's lace,

-are we? -[Dylan] It's close.

I can feel it.

[Carmie] We're never, ever, ever...

Carmie, over here!

[sighs] Dylan.

Come on.

It was right here!

Let's just go find something else.

No way, okay?

We follow the list as is, top to bottom, one through ten.

That's why there's a list. Follow order.

Can you stop being so annoying?

Today's just not your day.

Oh, really? I suppose you'd rather be with,

oh, clean jaw, shiny teeth, older man

forest patrol guide, huh?

-You're jealous. -Oh, not even.

Yes, you are, because Tristan has been nothing but nice to us.

-You can't trust him! -About what?

Taking him to the amusement park if I win?

If we win.

You haven't found anything!

You know what? I don't think we should be partners.

-Fine. -Fine.

-Fine! -Fine!

-Fine. -Fine.

Fine.

[Leanna] I can't just survive in the wild

on my smoked salmon and dehydrated fruits.

I need my proper facial supplies.

A base cream with ample hydration

will keep you glowing around the camp fire

all night long.

How you feeling, Kev?

[muffled] I can't feel my face.

Feeling better than ever. I hear you.

Smile for the Leanna Lifers.

Hold on.

My assistant wants to see his new glow,

so let me just grab cleanser.

[glass shatters, electricity sizzles]

No! Oh, my...

I lost the Wi-Fi! I lost signal!

Leanna Live is no longer live!

-[Leanna whimpers] -[equipment sizzles]

[Leanna shrieks]

[equipment sizzles]

-[zapping] -[Leanna shrieks]

[Carmie] Hello?

Which way is, like, north on this compass?

?

What did Tristan say?

Moss grows on the...

North.

Tristan! Perfect timing.

I think I'm a little lost.

One is never a little lost. It's either you are or are not.

-[chuckles] -Where's hunter boy?

[sighs] He couldn't find anything,

and then he wouldn't let me help.

-So frustrating. -That's not surprising.

He seems like a pretty self-important guy.

Now that I don't have a partner, are you gonna disqualify me?

Never. Let me help you.

You'll win for sure.

Isn't that cheating?

Who am I going to tell?

[Carmie chuckles]

Let's see.

Okay. Next up is a lily.

?

[Tristan] Look.

-Oh. -It was meant to be.

Yes, it was. It is. I mean, it would.

I mean, it... I... Yeah. I don't know.

Just... just wait there.

-[camera snaps] -[Carmie chuckles]

?

[laughs]

? One ?

? Two ?

? Three ?

? One two three four ?

[Dylan] Chanterelle mushroom. Take nothing but pictures.

[camera snaps]

-[croaks] -Bullfrog.

Leave nothing but footprints.

-Shells. -[camera snaps]

Kill nothing but time.

?

[chuckles] Whoa. Orchid!

-Last item on the list. -[camera snaps]

Finished. I did it!

I knew it! [laughs]

[echoes]

Oh. Whoa. [echoes]

Oh, head rush. Hold on there.

Better rehydrate.

Mmm. Nutrition. [echoes]

?

Beautiful.

[Leanna, Kev] Die, die, die, die, die, die!

[both pant]

Ah, my artisanal chocolate bars are melting,

melting away like this perfect day of glamping.

[Kev] Plants and foliage? Check.

Bugs? Check.

The smell of the woods? [sniffs]

Definite check. Burnt skin?

From a face mask. Unusual, but still burnt.

Check?

You are making no sense.

It does seem, for like, two indoor kids,

-we still went outdoors. -[chuckles]

I haven't been offline like this in, like, ten years.

Ten years?

Well, I got my phone when I was four,

and I'd just rather look at me than at my parents.

How much longer is this going to be?

The longer I'm offline, the more followers I drop. Fact.

Fact-ola. Your followers love you.

They're not going anywhere.

Love is fleeting, just like followers.

They're like animals who have this constant need to be fed,

and content is their meal.

Leanna, have you ever tried meditation?

Yeah. I have, like, five meditation apps.

My longest record? A minute and a half.

I am killing it.

Okay. Try it with me.

Breathe in for four.

-Hold for two. -What?

You want me to breathe and count at the same time?

You do the breathing I'll do the counting. Ready?

One two...

Don't tell me when to breathe!

?

So, what do you see in those two guys

you're always hanging out with?

Who? Kev and Dylan?

Yeah. They're so different than you.

Not really. We have a lot of similarities.

We don't know a lot of people,

we appreciate each other's fashion style

when most people don't,

and we're outsiders living in an insider's world.

I don't buy it.

You know, I buy that's who you think you are,

but I see an exciting and intelligent person

who wants to turn herself loose on a world

who expects her to be contained.

Wow. You think that's me? [chuckles]

And so much more.

The next item on the list is a butterfly.

Huh.

Oh! There it is!

Right there. Okay. Let me get this one for you.

Give me your phone.

Just so you know, I think this is a bad idea.

Anything to take you on the Inverted Cyclone Explosion Ride.

[chuckles]

[phone buzzes]

What is that?

[phone buzzes]

-Is that a phone? -Uh...

Did you have a phone this whole time with signal

and you didn't tell me?

-I... I don't know. Maybe. -[beeps]

Kev! We did it! [laughs]

You got into Fan Con!

Help. We are trapped in the wilderness.

Uh

What? Fan Con? That's amazing!

Yeah. Oh, the crowd is going to go crazy over your new comic.

[Kev] What new comic?

I've just been writing more of Carmela.

Well, you gotta keep moving, kid.

You know, you got to stay fresh and new,

or you're gonna watch all your dreams and promises

go up in flames in a dumpster fire.

-But I just... -Look. I told them

you're writing a new comic, and that's why you got in, okay?

So, you better start writing something,

and you better start writing it fast. Okay?

And I'm talking 30 pages a week Jack Kirby fast.

This is the big leagues, Kev. You gotta show up to blow up.

Oh, he'll blow up, all right.

Wait. Who is this? Put Kev back on the line.

No, no, no, no. From now on, all contact to Kev

will go through me... Leanna Management. Bye-bye!

[beeps]

You just hung up on good news!

Don't worry! He'll call back.

Remember, you're the talent.

The money calls you now.

Leanna.

[buzzes]

[Leanna] Good afternoon. Leanna Management.

Be careful!

You're... you're almost there! You've got it!

?

Whoa! Oh! Ah!

[grunts] Ah!

Tristan!

[Tristan] Oh! Oh.

Oh! Carmie, help me!

Whoa!

[distantly] Carmie, help me!

Help me! Help!

Help me! Help! Help me!

Help me! Help! Help me!

Hello, Dylan. How were the berries?

What? What? Huh?

[Tristan] Help me! Help me!

What was that?

Sounds like someone needs your help, Dylan.

Help is on the way!

Carmie, help me! Ah!

Tristan!

[Tristan] Ah! Ah!

Carmie! Ah!

-Ah! -Tristan!

I got you.

?

That was fantastic.

How did you

-Um... -You don't have to tell me.

No. I... I want to,

but it's a secret.

You can trust me.

?

I am half human, half vampire. Blended.

?

I've also been hiding something,

not knowing if I could tell anyone,

wondering who to trust.

I'm not who people think I am.

Well, tell me, if you want.

?

I am also Blended,

half Warrior Fairy.

?

[Carmie chuckles]

[chuckles]

You're amazing.

?

[Carmie chuckles]

?

You're so beautiful.

?

[screeching]

Ah!

?

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