Original subtitles

- Hm.

Interesting stuff.

[door opens] Kodo.

- Sorry. I'm late.

- It's okay.

You can get changed behind that screen.

Get you to put this on

and you can put your stuff down there.

[bag clutters]

Exciting.

All right.

Whenever you're ready.

[gentle piano music]

- So where you guys from?

- Shh shh

- Sorry.

[gentle piano music]

- And change pose, please?

[gentle piano music]

Bo, do you wanna finish your meal before we continue?

- Please. I didn't eat lunch yet.

Oh!

- [Student] Ah, man, I'd already drawn that.

- Oh, sorry.

[intro classical music]

- I'm not missing Muay Thai for you again.

You need to get up on time.

- Hey, can you please go by mums?

I need to drop something off.

- Oh, Gwen. We're already running late.

- It'll take one second.

- What's that smell?

- Hey, how does Dean feel about me coming back?

- I'm sure he won't mind. It's only part-time.

- Cool costume.

- I know it's for Michelle's gender reveal party tomorrow.

It's a masquerade.

- That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

Wait, Michelle, the teacher?

- Yeah.

- You hate her.

- I do not.

This is an event you want to be invited to.

- Her husband plays-- - Her husband plays

for the all blacks, yeah, I know.

- Did you step in something cause?

- Left here?

- Yeah, I know how to get to mum's.

[door knocks]

- Go, go, go.[pants]

[car engine roars] - Was that shit?

- That's for me to know and you to find out.

Go!

- She's distracting. She's dangerously unprofessional.

And you agreed not to make any decisions without me.

- I acknowledge your concerns, but you said it yourself.

It's all about social media these days.

And Gwen knows social media.

- You trying to make Macbeth me?

- No.

- You two want the throne.

- No, I want you and me on the throne together.

The king and queen of good funerals.

- Good fish funerals.

- We can talk about that.

The point is Gwen is just a peasant

telling the other peasants to like and subscribe.

- You haven't seen Macbeth, have you?

- No.

- Well, I'm not convinced.

- Okay.

Oh, Gwen wanted me to ask you

whether you had any TV acting experience.

- You've seen my showroom?

- Yeah.

She just suggested making a commercial.

She's got big ideas for the brand.

She's pretty well connected.

- Is she?

- But I'm just gonna tell her

that it's not where we're at right now.

We've made that decision, together.

- Well let me get in touch with my agent.

When would she start?

If that's the drift. - Off deck bitches!

[hip hop music]

♪ Rock a show like this

♪ Uh uh, uh uh

♪ I don't know anybody

♪ Check check on the mic check

♪ One, two

- Ooh!

♪ Everybody wanna talk like they got something to try ♪

♪ But they ain't got nothing when I'm up ♪

- What's this?

- Well, we're having French toast.

Poor Gweny didn't have any breakfast.

- That's because poor Gweny refused to get up.

- Ooh. Oh my gosh.

Chaz. That ring.

How have I never noticed that before?

- Oh, it's new. - Wow.

- Ray couldn't afford an engagement ring

back when he proposed, so.

- This looks unreal. Thank you.

- She's not your personal chef.

- So Bo, how was that modeling gig?

- Oh no, it was all good.

One little lady she was so nice,

she actually gave me one of her sketches.

- [Chaz] Oh

- That's awesome.

- That's.

- I love the shading.

- I mean, does that look like you?

- Yes.

- To scale?

- She's very talented.

- [Chaz] It's lovely Bo.

- Thank you.

- [Gwen] Big day ahead.

Our nine o'clock will be here soon.

Gwen, have a look at our socials.

Make some notes.

Also, we're gonna need fresh content.

So get a few candid shots of me and Dean

and do not interact with the clients.

- Mm hm.

- Thanks, cheers.

[gentle piano music]

- Volcamayo?

- Oh yeah. Yeah.

It's a bit of a thinker.

- Mm I'm glad you're still doing your t-shirts.

- Yeah.

Can I have some?

- Yeah, it's really good.

- Yes.

- You have a massive cock.

- [Allie] Tomorrow?

- We're harvesting.

- And you weren't interested in say, Friday?

- We're harvesting.

- Tomorrow's no trouble.

We can make that work and I can perform anywhere.

- That won't be necessary. We've got Reverend Clevins

to run the service, don't we, love?

- Yes.

He's a close friend of the family.

- Hm, Clevins.

Okay. That's fine.

- We'll bury mum on the property.

So, should be pretty straightforward.

- Ah, we would need to apply for a permit.

- We've got a permit. Her dad's already buried there.

- Oh, good.

[phone dinging]

- Off your phone Claire.

- Don't call me Claire.

- Off your phone.

- My name is Melpominy. - Phone away.

- You interested in catering options or will the Reverend

be doing that as well?

- I was gonna do it, but.

But--

- [Allie] Oh no. That's all right.

Sharon can prepare and bring everything out to you.

- Okay. Thank you.

- Yeah.

Sorry. Just for the service sheets.

I've got Angus, Pipa.

And how do I spell? - M E L.

- We are not using your fairy name for the service sheets.

- I could do quotes like Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.

- Claire Reynolds is fine.

- My name is Melpominy.

- Don't backchat your mother.

- Please mommy. - No.

- You never let me do anything.

- We let you come here in your fairy costume.

- It's not a costume.

- I'm sorry about this.

- You wouldn't let me get a water dragon.

You wouldn't let me learn the drums.

And now you won't even call me by my name.

- Enough.

- Don't do this here.

- Why can't you accept me for who I am?

- Because your mother's not Tinker Bell.

I'm not Gandalf and you are not a Bloomin Fairy!

[footsteps pattering]

She's going through that fairy phase.

- Yeah.

[phone tapping]

- Reply.

Oh, no Kodo you're not.

You dead.

[door opens]

[door slams]

Need a hand?

[girl sobbing]

Oh.

Oh. Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

It's okay. It's okay.

- My family just don't get me.

- Don't cry.

How old are you in human years?

- 17.

- Fuck 'em. Parents don't know shit.

And before long,

they're gonna kick you out on your ass anyway.

So you do you, I dig your wings.

I think they're great.

A little rough around the edges, but they're cute.

You look great.

[girl gasps]

Is that, oh wow. That's a bong.

Okay.

You gonna light it? Yep.

You're gonna light up right there.

[girl coughs]

Hmm.

Bet that's nice.

- Do you wanna hit?

- Ah, I'd like nothing more than to get blazed

with a little fairy,

but it's my first day back

and I'm not even meant to be talking.

Oh, you know what? Fuck it. Yeah, let's do it.

[girl laughs]

Thank you.

- Hey, can you please tell me a favor?

- Yeah.

- I really wanna give this to grandma,

but mommy and daddy--

- Can you not do that voice?

It's really annoying.

- I didn't get to put this in the coffin.

- Okay.

- Thank you.

- That's fine.

People put random shit in caskets all the time.

It's not a big deal. So don't worry about it.

[girl blows]

Fuck me.

Ow. It's in my eyes.

- Leaks getting worse.

- Oh shit.

- Smells like a festival portal.

- I know.

- Like hot turd.

- Thank God I ordered those air fresheners.

- Chaz did you move the, where are the numbers?

I need to call the plumber.

- Use Kobe.

My cousin. Oh, he'll do it.

Here's his deeds.

He's staying with us because he just came back

from South America.

He bought me a poncho.

- No one use the upstairs toilet.

Chaz, I need you to work late.

We now have a service tomorrow.

- I better reschedule Zumba.

Juan Pablo's expecting me.

- Thank you.

See you tomorrow Ivo.

Bye.

- The fairy wants this put in the casket.

- I told you not to speak to clients.

- I know, but she was crying.

- You smell lik Marijuana?

- Yeah, 'cause the fairy ripped a bong right next to me.

- And you didn't rip a fat puff?

- No, because I'm working.

- Good.

So have you had a look at our socials? What do you think?

- Well, there's a big photo of Kodo on your website.

Your address is wrong on Google maps.

Your Facebook has you listed as a restaurant.

Your Instagram is mainly just blurry selfies of Dean.

So about what I expected.

- Lot's keep you busy then.

Do you want some shots of me working?

- Like pumping a corpse full of chemicals?

- No, like me at my desk.

Oh, I'm thinking of getting highlights.

Is that gonna be confusing for our followers?

- Okay. You don't have any followers.

The only posts that got any likes

was one of Bo looking and hot by the hearse.

- All right. Will you get started on upping those numbers?

Ah, and FYI, I told Dean you'd make us a TV commercial.

- Oh yeah. Yep.

No, no worries.

I'm just gonna call my good friend, Peter Jackson.

What the Fuck?

- Knock knock.

- Well, well, well look who's here.

- It's a nice surprise.

- Ugh, that is creepy.

This place is worse than I remember.

- Oh we've been renovating. You should see downstairs.

- That's okay.

Gwen.

- Yes?

- Did you defecate into a box and leave it outside my house?

- No.

- Yes.

Yes you did because I saw you dump it on the doorstep

and then yell, go, go, go.

- Wow. What a coincidence?

- What do you mean, what a coincidence?

- I mean, that's not how you used that.

- Also, did you sign Stu up to suckthesetitties.net?

- No.

I think your boyfriend did that himself.

- So you didn't give his number

to the church as Scientology?

- No, not that I can remember.

- He has been inundated with calls.

- We really shouldn't judge somebody

for their religious beliefs.

- [Mom] Gwen.

- But I bet you glad you found this stuff out now,

ay, rather than when you're in too deep.

- What are you trying to achieve?

- [Gwen] What are you trying to achieve?

- A relationship at 50.

- Oh, okay. What about a relationship with your daughter?

I texted you like 200 times.

- Yeah well Stu and I have been busy.

We've been taking the boat out.

- Oh my God. Did you know that Stu has a boat?

Are you guys like full-time sailors now?

Do you wear like fedoras, and, like boat shoes,

and, like, linen shirts and stuff.

- Love this outfit. Where did you get your top?

- You still haven't given me your insurance details.

- For my car. Okay.

- Stu's a nice guy.

He doesn't deserve this. It stops now.

- Okay. Well I'll pass it on.

If I find the culprit, I'll tell them it stops.

Now.

- That is hideous.

- Oh, it's for a masquerade.

I just, why don't I show you the renos on your way out?

[footsteps pattering]

- Ugh, these have been here since the 80s.

- Oh, we haven't got to this part yet,

but I'm picturing a chandelier here.

So when you first walk in, it's like,

"Wow, what do you reckon?"

- I don't know, Allie.

I guess that's why dad left this place to you.

- Right?

I think he just assumed you were busy doing your own thing.

So--

- He knew I didn't wanna be a funeral director.

- Which is fine. I mean, it's not for everyone.

- Oh. I told him that.

Didn't make it any less disappointing.

- Oh.

- Then you took a shine to it and he took a shine to you.

So I guess it all worked out.

- Well, speaking of working out,

I have toned up quite a bit.

- Have you?

- Yeah. Um, here and, and here and these ones.

Muay Thai, you should come to a class.

- I'm more of a Yogi.

- You'd love my friend Rhonda.

- Rhonda?

How old is she?

- Oh, 50.

[gentle piano music]

[car engine roaring]

[car door slams]

- Homey out here, isn't it?

- I can't believe that you're making me wear this

in summer and I look like Wednesday fucking Adams.

- You can't wear a bikini to a funeral.

In fact you can't wear them to work at all.

- Why not?

It's just a waterproof halterneck bra.

- Okay, fam slip, lop, slap and wrap.

It's a gorgeous day.

- Chaz, do you have a Jeep now?

- Chaz is this your car?

- Yeah, we just wanted something bigger.

You know, for the future.

- Sick.

- [Gwen] You look like Jason.

- Mamoa?

- No, from Friday the 13th.

Hey.

[camera clicking]

- Hey sister.

- Hey you doing okay?

- I was until mom ruined everything.

I had a bubble wand with this outfit,

but she said I needed to grow up.

- Oh, I've got beef with my mom at the moment too.

- Did you put my toy in the coffin?

- Yes. With your grandma.

- Thank you Gwen!

[both giggle]

Did you wanna K.

- Fuck, fucking hell. Hide that.

- The service is gonna be really fun.

- Yeah. I bet.

- I just, I don't know if that's a good idea for me,

'cause like if Allie

or Dean found out they'd lose their shit.

- Fuck em.

- [Reverend Clavins] I now call Gus, Tony, Roger

and Gavin to come forward.

[woman sobs]

As we commit Margaret's body to the ground, earth to earth

ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

- Come on Clevins. You're losing the room.

- [Reverend Clevins] We commend her spirit to its new home.

Rest eternal, grant her

and let light perpetual shine upon her.

[casket knocks]

- [Woman] Hello?

Hello.

- Was there.

- [Woman] Can you help me? I'm stuck.

- Mom?

- Jesus Christ.

- How could this?

- Sorry everyone stay calm.

Stay calm.

[people gasping]

- Get her up.

- No, don't do that.

Can't be good. Fran just stay calm.

- [Daughter] Get her up. Get her up.

- [Allie] No, don't.

- Keep it leveled. Keep it leveled.

- [Daughter] Get her up.

Get her out.

- [Allie] Just stay calm.

- [Daughter] Get out the way. She's alive.

[people chattering]

- Hold her.

[people chattering]

No, no, no.

- [Dean] Oh, my god.

Are you okay? - Dean, dean...

- Can you raise your arms?

Can you raise your arms?

Are you conscious?

Do you understand English at this moment?

Anchor me, anchor me.

We're gonna lift them out.

Okay here we go.

- Let go.

- How dare you?

- What?

- How dare you drag me into your pranks?

It's like you're trying to destroy our entire reputation.

- No, no, no, no. I had nothing to do with that.

- You asked me to put that creepy toy in the casket.

- Yeah, but I had no idea it was a speaker.

- Bull crap.

This has you written all over it.

You've been pranking Stu all week.

- Okay, I hate to admit it Allie,

but this is much better than my work.

This little fairy is operating at a whole other level.

She's a genius.

- She's a deranged teenage fairy. Don't look up to her.

She's not vision board material.

You should look up to people like Oprah and Malala Yousafzai

and Colonel Sanders.

- The chicken guy?

- No Gwen. The democratic socialist.

- His name's Bernie.

- What is wrong with her face?

- Oh, she's on Molly.

- [Allie] The drug?

- Yeah.

- Did you do drugs?

- No.

- [Allie] You better not be lying to me.

- Okay, so I did a little bit of weedies today,

but I'm not on drugs right now.

- What is wrong with you?

- I'm not on drugs right now.

I'm telling you a funeral is not my ideal Molly environment.

- I had to convince Dean to let you come back and work here

and you're not even trying.

- Ah, okay. Well what do you want from me then?

- I like you to do better

in general at everything all the time.

- Jesus, okay.

- Go wait in the car.

- Fine but can I say goodbye?

- No good, God's sake.

[gentle piano music]

- [Chaz] I thought fairies were meant to be goodies.

- Now we all go through that rebellious teenage phase.

I was a big punk guy. Eyeliner, leather jacket, spiky hair.

A real bad boy.

- Mm.

My James is being a bit difficult at the moment.

He's going through a veterinary phase.

He keeps cutting animals open.

- [Gwen] Oh my gosh.

- [Bo] No, no, no.

We shouldn't.

- It's absolute chaos. It is chaos.

- [Dean] Aw!

Ah!

- Is that when this spot went through the lid?

- What's this?

- Oh, it's just a video from the service.

- Reverend Clavins was useless. It takes a trained MC.

- Gwen, why would you film that?

- I didn't. Someone else did. It's on YouTube.

- God, this is the PI nightmare.

Do you not realize how bad this makes us look?

- No one's blaming us.

- I am working my butt off

to get us to the next level

and cock ups like this just drag us down.

- Allie. Chill out.

- No you chill.

We look like a bunch of clowns

and it's fucking embarrassing.

Get your shit together.

- Hi, Kobe.

- Hi Chaz.

Hello. Kobe, plumber.

- Welcome to the shit show.

[footsteps pattering]

[phone tapping]

[phone dialing]

- [Man] Good Afternoon.

- Hello? Is that Bronson from Stonecoast Wines?

I've just been the victim

of a hit and run by one of your company vehicles.

No I didn't the number plate,

but he yelled at me as he drove away.

And he said, "When you get to Hell, tell them Stu sent ya."

Yes, Stu, Stu.

S-T-U. Short for Stuart.

- Are you okay? - No I'm not okay.

My e-bike is ruined and I'm pretty sure my femur is broken.

My name is Macy Gray.

Yeah.

[woman wailing]

Oh my god, the ambulance is here. I have to go. Bye.

[laughing] Sucka lucka.

[phone tapping] [phone whooshes]

- [Allie] How's it looking?

- That smell is coming from a blockage,

which I've cleared. Cisterns broke as well.

You probably best off just getting a whole new toilet.

- [Allie] So you'll need to come back?

- Yeah. Jesus.

- What?

[water flashing]

- Sorry. Got a bit of a fright, that's all.

- I'm going to a masquerade.

- [Kobe] Do you wanna gimme your number?

- Oh, that's really sweet.

- So I can send you a quote.

- But, yeah, cool. Yep.

- You think I was hitting on you?

- No.

- You think I wanted to come to your ball?

- It's a gender reveal masquerade.

- What?

That's so stupid.

- Excuse me?

- Well, why does it even matter?

And also how are you even supposed to react?

It's not like you can boo. If it's the wrong one.

- Okay.

I need to lock up. - Not to mention,

the whole sex versus gender thing.

- Okay. Thanks.

Oh.

- You alright?

- I'm fine. I'm really good.

Thanks.

- What about Jurassic park?

- New one?

- No, old school.

Sam Neill. [alarm beeping]

Wait, what is that?

Are you okay? - Oh no.

There's just like heart medications. I've been trialing.

- What? Why?

- It's just like this study.

They're pretty, pretty good, so.

- Oh, I'm all for making a quick buck,

but that sounds really dangerous.

- No, it's all good.

You know what we should watch though?

"Step Up 2: The Streets."

No, no, I actually love a good dance movie.

- I believe that.

- Really? - Yes

- Listen to why.

- Oh!

[woman coughing]

- It's fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. [coughs]

- You all right?

- I'm fine.

- Do you need anything?

[both giggle]

[gentle piano music]

[woman coughing]

- Fuck. [coughs]

[gentle piano music]

Okay. I'm good.

Let's go again. - Yes.

[alarm beeping]

[gentle piano music]