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1
00:00:06,011 --> 00:00:09,014
[whimsical music playing]
2
00:00:09,597 --> 00:00:10,890
Okay, you're on.
3
00:00:11,516 --> 00:00:14,227
{\an8}-I lived a hardscrabble life.
-[poignant music playing]
4
00:00:15,061 --> 00:00:16,813
Nothing was ever handed to me.
5
00:00:16,896 --> 00:00:18,440
-Most things were thrown.
-[man gagging]
6
00:00:18,523 --> 00:00:19,524
Who is gagging?
7
00:00:19,607 --> 00:00:20,608
-[music stops]
-I'm sorry.
8
00:00:20,692 --> 00:00:22,235
I get nauseous when I read in the car.
9
00:00:22,318 --> 00:00:23,987
-[Summer groans]
-Read what? You're driving.
10
00:00:24,070 --> 00:00:27,323
Road signs count.
What does that say? State route...
11
00:00:28,116 --> 00:00:29,743
West... [gags]
12
00:00:29,826 --> 00:00:31,995
[gags] Okay, someone needs
to be reading these to me.
13
00:00:32,078 --> 00:00:33,079
-That green one says...
-No!
14
00:00:33,163 --> 00:00:34,622
-No, don't help him.
-He has to learn.
15
00:00:34,706 --> 00:00:38,835
Please, Percy. You're interrupting
our awards-eligible tour documentary.
16
00:00:39,586 --> 00:00:41,796
[poignant music resumes]
17
00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:43,339
-My childhood was...
-[gagging]
18
00:00:43,423 --> 00:00:44,716
-Damn it, Percy!
-[music stops]
19
00:00:44,799 --> 00:00:46,426
No, it's me.
20
00:00:46,509 --> 00:00:48,219
Sorry for being pregnant.
21
00:00:48,303 --> 00:00:50,764
Wait. How many weeks has it been
since The White Lotus finale?
22
00:00:50,847 --> 00:00:52,057
-[Summer] Twelve.
-Ooh.
23
00:00:52,140 --> 00:00:53,683
I can find out the sex.
24
00:00:53,767 --> 00:00:55,935
Not that I care.
The baby's room will be gray either way.
25
00:00:56,019 --> 00:00:58,146
-Okay, quiet on set.
-Yeah, mine.
26
00:00:58,229 --> 00:01:00,315
-Attention, queers of the Ozarks.
-[funk music playing]
27
00:01:00,398 --> 00:01:03,693
Her Royal Thiccness is gonna be
at the Music Hole tonight.
28
00:01:03,777 --> 00:01:05,528
Groupies welcome.
29
00:01:05,612 --> 00:01:07,405
Just call me Ho Spice.
30
00:01:07,489 --> 00:01:11,076
But don't write it down
because it looks like "hospice." Ah!
31
00:01:11,159 --> 00:01:14,496
Come on, you really think you're gonna be
swimming in it in Bomont,
32
00:01:14,579 --> 00:01:16,372
as seen in the motion picture Footloose?
33
00:01:16,456 --> 00:01:19,125
That explains why there's zero interest
on Bumpr.
34
00:01:19,209 --> 00:01:22,170
No, wait, there's a lady.
She's moving fast.
35
00:01:22,253 --> 00:01:23,588
Oh, she's on a plane.
36
00:01:24,464 --> 00:01:25,882
It's a damn boob desert!
37
00:01:25,965 --> 00:01:28,468
-What is that a play on?
-"Food desert." Keep up, Dawn.
38
00:01:28,551 --> 00:01:31,012
-[truck horn honks]
-Jesus, Percy, yield!
39
00:01:31,096 --> 00:01:32,388
I said I'm not reading signs!
40
00:01:32,472 --> 00:01:33,306
["Famous 5eva" plays]
41
00:01:33,389 --> 00:01:38,269
? Gonna be famous 5eva
'Cause 4eva's too short ?
42
00:01:38,353 --> 00:01:39,687
? It's too short ?
43
00:01:39,771 --> 00:01:45,902
? Gonna be famous 3-gether
'Cause that's one more than 2-gether ?
44
00:01:46,653 --> 00:01:52,659
? Gonna be famous 5eva
'Cause 4eva's too short ?
45
00:01:52,742 --> 00:01:55,245
? So, what are you waiting five? ?
46
00:01:55,328 --> 00:01:59,624
? Girls5eva ?
47
00:02:02,669 --> 00:02:03,837
[whimsical music playing]
48
00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:06,881
Yes! Found an OB
who takes my Viper insurance.
49
00:02:06,965 --> 00:02:09,759
That's one past COBRA, where you're still
on your grandparents' plan.
50
00:02:09,843 --> 00:02:11,970
-Okay, how about this one?
-[Kev] Ho, ho!
51
00:02:12,053 --> 00:02:13,972
Like Easter bunny's trophy wife.
52
00:02:14,055 --> 00:02:14,889
J'approve.
53
00:02:14,973 --> 00:02:19,269
[giggles] Okay, so for tonight's fit,
I know you want to use the boots, so...
54
00:02:19,352 --> 00:02:20,353
Summer?
55
00:02:20,436 --> 00:02:22,522
Hey, Kev, um, sing yourself hold music.
56
00:02:22,605 --> 00:02:23,523
Copy, ex-babe.
57
00:02:23,606 --> 00:02:25,441
? Doo-doo-doo ?
58
00:02:25,525 --> 00:02:27,610
? Doobie Brothers, yeah!
Doo-doo... ?
59
00:02:27,694 --> 00:02:31,072
Are you asking your ex-husband
to approve what you wear?
60
00:02:31,156 --> 00:02:32,365
Kev has great taste.
61
00:02:32,448 --> 00:02:35,160
-His pants always match his car.
-I don't know.
62
00:02:35,243 --> 00:02:37,954
This just seems like a step backwards.
63
00:02:38,037 --> 00:02:39,706
Oh, like the moonwalk?
64
00:02:39,789 --> 00:02:41,875
Ha! That's the greatest dance move ever.
65
00:02:41,958 --> 00:02:43,960
Nice insult, Dawn.
66
00:02:44,043 --> 00:02:47,463
How are you supposed to move on
and be your own person
67
00:02:47,547 --> 00:02:49,465
if Kev is picking out
your clothes every day?
68
00:02:50,550 --> 00:02:52,093
? Doobie Brothers, yeah! ?
69
00:02:52,177 --> 00:02:55,555
Huh. Maybe I've been afraid
to completely let go.
70
00:02:55,638 --> 00:02:56,764
[pensive music playing]
71
00:02:56,848 --> 00:02:58,016
And find out...
72
00:02:58,850 --> 00:03:01,519
who is Summer without Kev.
73
00:03:01,603 --> 00:03:02,770
[music turns whimsical]
74
00:03:02,854 --> 00:03:05,648
Sorry, ex-babe. No more fit checks.
75
00:03:05,732 --> 00:03:06,733
Your funeral.
76
00:03:06,816 --> 00:03:09,360
-Yes!
-Stevia stole my khaki-colored car.
77
00:03:09,444 --> 00:03:12,322
And I can't go find her
'cause she took my other colored pants.
78
00:03:12,405 --> 00:03:13,990
[lilting music playing]
79
00:03:14,574 --> 00:03:15,825
Everything's looking good.
80
00:03:15,909 --> 00:03:18,745
Your baby's the size of a kumquat,
or a full-grown mouse.
81
00:03:18,828 --> 00:03:21,247
Sorry, some people don't know
what a kumquat is.
82
00:03:21,331 --> 00:03:23,041
Hey, so I've been watching
the new The Crown,
83
00:03:23,124 --> 00:03:25,460
and Prince Philip is straight up
American-uncle-level racist.
84
00:03:25,543 --> 00:03:26,878
Can the baby hear that?
85
00:03:26,961 --> 00:03:28,213
It sure can.
86
00:03:28,296 --> 00:03:31,466
And it understands everything
because it's still part angel.
87
00:03:32,050 --> 00:03:32,884
Sorry, who's this?
88
00:03:32,967 --> 00:03:34,302
[doctor] Since Roe got overturned,
89
00:03:34,385 --> 00:03:37,222
state law now requires
a Fetal Citizen Advocate
90
00:03:37,305 --> 00:03:39,515
to be present
at all prenatal appointments.
91
00:03:39,599 --> 00:03:41,559
I'm just here to give a voice
to the voiceless.
92
00:03:41,643 --> 00:03:43,269
Keep me safe, Mama.
93
00:03:43,353 --> 00:03:44,979
-Um, are you a doctor?
-[Chuck] Better.
94
00:03:45,063 --> 00:03:46,231
I'm a state senator.
95
00:03:46,314 --> 00:03:49,525
Chuck Dennis. And my qualifications
are remembering my own conception.
96
00:03:49,609 --> 00:03:51,069
That is not possible.
97
00:03:51,152 --> 00:03:54,864
There was incredible speed
and a series of wet tubes.
98
00:03:54,948 --> 00:03:57,575
I remember a kind of distant, muffled:
"womp-womp."
99
00:03:57,659 --> 00:03:59,869
Which I later learned were
the opening credits to Dynasty.
100
00:03:59,953 --> 00:04:01,204
Let's take a look at your chart.
101
00:04:01,287 --> 00:04:02,705
[laughs]
102
00:04:02,789 --> 00:04:03,748
Okay.
103
00:04:03,831 --> 00:04:05,625
Um, hi. Is this weird?
104
00:04:05,708 --> 00:04:08,711
Very. Me alone in a room
with two strange women?
105
00:04:08,795 --> 00:04:11,631
That's why my wife is here.
Show yourself, Modor.
106
00:04:12,674 --> 00:04:14,467
That's Old English for "mother."
107
00:04:14,550 --> 00:04:16,636
Okay, you said you wanted to know the sex?
108
00:04:16,719 --> 00:04:17,971
Let's take a look.
109
00:04:18,054 --> 00:04:19,847
-[whimsical music playing]
-You are having a...
110
00:04:19,931 --> 00:04:22,058
-Oh, no, no, no! No looks.
-[dramatic music playing]
111
00:04:22,141 --> 00:04:24,477
No looks.
You're doing photos of a naked child.
112
00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:27,272
-That's a Pizzagate! That's a Pizzagate.
-Oh, my God.
113
00:04:28,231 --> 00:04:29,065
So...
114
00:04:29,148 --> 00:04:31,609
[whimsical music playing]
115
00:04:31,693 --> 00:04:34,112
A state senator was just in the checkup?
116
00:04:34,195 --> 00:04:35,321
What did you do?
117
00:04:35,405 --> 00:04:37,073
Nothing, right? Knowing you.
118
00:04:37,156 --> 00:04:38,449
I wish I kicked him out.
119
00:04:38,533 --> 00:04:40,785
I did that dumb '90s thing
where I just laughed.
120
00:04:40,868 --> 00:04:43,746
Like when Craig Kilborn
put my foot in his mouth. On air.
121
00:04:43,830 --> 00:04:45,873
Same when Kurt Loder called me the R-word.
122
00:04:45,957 --> 00:04:49,127
But then, I did this.
123
00:04:49,210 --> 00:04:51,587
? Get out of my mind ?
124
00:04:51,671 --> 00:04:53,756
? Get out of my life ?
125
00:04:53,840 --> 00:04:58,177
? I just wanna chuck Chuck ?
126
00:04:58,761 --> 00:05:00,221
? Chuck, Chuck ?
127
00:05:00,305 --> 00:05:01,597
You wanna what?
128
00:05:01,681 --> 00:05:03,057
Chuck Chuck.
129
00:05:03,141 --> 00:05:05,852
Like chuck, like "throw away."
I wanna chuck Chuck!
130
00:05:05,935 --> 00:05:07,061
Sounds like he's your ex
131
00:05:07,145 --> 00:05:09,981
and you are trying
to get him out of your mind.
132
00:05:10,857 --> 00:05:12,567
Why's your sweatshirt moving?
133
00:05:12,650 --> 00:05:15,611
-Found a squirrel that needs skin-to-skin.
-There's a squirrel in there?
134
00:05:15,695 --> 00:05:17,071
We're in a boob desert, Dawn.
135
00:05:17,155 --> 00:05:19,949
So I'm leaning into my other passion:
animal rescue.
136
00:05:20,033 --> 00:05:22,118
[Wickie] This is the first of 20 shows
137
00:05:22,201 --> 00:05:25,621
Girls5eva has booked
throughout the Midwest and Southeast.
138
00:05:25,705 --> 00:05:28,791
Boy, it's hard to believe I'm even here,
given the start I had in life.
139
00:05:28,875 --> 00:05:32,170
One day there will be a biopic, and, yes,
140
00:05:32,253 --> 00:05:34,630
of course I will play myself.
141
00:05:34,714 --> 00:05:35,757
From birth...
142
00:05:35,840 --> 00:05:37,008
Goo-goo, ga-ga.
143
00:05:37,091 --> 00:05:38,593
...to death.
144
00:05:38,676 --> 00:05:40,345
I think there's a bomb on the yacht!
145
00:05:40,428 --> 00:05:41,804
Meet the new me!
146
00:05:41,888 --> 00:05:44,140
-And cut, Percy.
-[whimsical music playing]
147
00:05:44,223 --> 00:05:45,099
[Dawn] Wow, okay.
148
00:05:45,183 --> 00:05:46,976
This is Summer without Kev.
149
00:05:47,060 --> 00:05:48,770
Oh, my gosh, you guys.
150
00:05:48,853 --> 00:05:51,147
You are going to love Randy.
151
00:05:51,230 --> 00:05:53,358
Who? Did you meet somebody?
152
00:05:53,441 --> 00:05:54,442
-Already?
-[Summer] Yeah.
153
00:05:54,525 --> 00:05:57,528
He's just giving his Mustang a wipe-down.
154
00:05:57,612 --> 00:06:00,990
So there's zero talent for me,
but you've already found a boyfriend.
155
00:06:01,074 --> 00:06:02,158
That is just lovely.
156
00:06:02,241 --> 00:06:03,326
Ah-ah! Don't latch.
157
00:06:03,409 --> 00:06:05,453
-Hola, 5evas.
-Oh!
158
00:06:05,536 --> 00:06:08,122
-[Randy] Randy's in the house.
-Sure, why not?
159
00:06:08,206 --> 00:06:11,376
[squeals] You know what?
Oh, my God, baby. Ooh!
160
00:06:11,459 --> 00:06:13,628
We met in the lobby
right after we were talking.
161
00:06:13,711 --> 00:06:17,673
We bonded over our shared love
of bow-hunting and home-brewing, and...
162
00:06:17,757 --> 00:06:20,009
-What's that other thing that we love?
-The Witcher.
163
00:06:20,093 --> 00:06:22,845
Yes, king. We love The Witcher.
164
00:06:23,471 --> 00:06:25,598
Oh, God. Oh, you guys.
165
00:06:25,681 --> 00:06:28,434
Summer without Kev is Randy.
166
00:06:28,518 --> 00:06:29,894
Thanks, Dawn!
167
00:06:29,977 --> 00:06:32,105
Okay. I guess, let's sound-check.
168
00:06:33,398 --> 00:06:34,232
What is that?
169
00:06:34,315 --> 00:06:36,109
Is that a Victorian porcelain doll?
170
00:06:36,192 --> 00:06:37,902
Oh, no. Modor.
171
00:06:37,985 --> 00:06:40,488
-Ms. Solano.
-Senator, what are you doing here?
172
00:06:40,571 --> 00:06:42,323
I was checking on some of my patients,
173
00:06:42,407 --> 00:06:44,951
making sure they were
being good baby hosts,
174
00:06:45,034 --> 00:06:45,993
and I found this.
175
00:06:46,077 --> 00:06:48,454
-[singing "Chuck Chuck"]
Is this supposed to be about me?
176
00:06:49,247 --> 00:06:51,082
Are you in love with me?
177
00:06:51,165 --> 00:06:52,750
Because I am married.
178
00:06:52,834 --> 00:06:54,252
Happily. Lookie here.
179
00:06:56,254 --> 00:06:58,673
[both moaning]
180
00:07:02,343 --> 00:07:03,928
Well, Chuck,
181
00:07:04,011 --> 00:07:06,055
no, I'm not in love with you.
182
00:07:06,139 --> 00:07:07,432
I'm actually very...
183
00:07:07,515 --> 00:07:09,517
In love with Chuck Woolery.
That's Dawn's ex.
184
00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:12,186
She's still obsessed with him.
It's sick. She kidnapped his dog.
185
00:07:12,270 --> 00:07:13,604
I get it.
186
00:07:13,688 --> 00:07:15,398
He is a great man.
187
00:07:15,481 --> 00:07:17,984
Well, I am so sorry
to have interrupted you ladies.
188
00:07:18,067 --> 00:07:20,486
So, what exactly
are you serving up tonight?
189
00:07:20,570 --> 00:07:24,407
Plate-spinning, adult-tumbling,
mother-of-the-bride fashion show?
190
00:07:24,490 --> 00:07:25,324
We're pop singers.
191
00:07:25,408 --> 00:07:27,994
It's mostly John Cougar Mellencamp covers,
that sort of thing.
192
00:07:28,077 --> 00:07:29,745
-What?
-Sounds like a hoot!
193
00:07:29,829 --> 00:07:31,205
Thanks for stopping by.
194
00:07:31,289 --> 00:07:33,458
-Okay?
-[Summer over speakers] Check, check.
195
00:07:33,541 --> 00:07:35,960
? Got that big pussy energy ?
196
00:07:36,043 --> 00:07:38,171
My Ps are popping. Pussy!
197
00:07:38,254 --> 00:07:41,507
-Let me test. Pussy! Pussy! Pussy!
-Pussy. Pussy.
198
00:07:41,591 --> 00:07:44,010
-Positively. Pop, popping pussy.
-[Wickie] Hey, stop.
199
00:07:44,093 --> 00:07:47,305
Hang on. This is your all's act?
[chuckles]
200
00:07:47,388 --> 00:07:50,975
Well, like our birds after the derailment,
that's not gonna fly.
201
00:07:51,058 --> 00:07:52,059
Hand me the...
202
00:07:52,852 --> 00:07:54,729
Good gracious, this set list.
203
00:07:54,812 --> 00:07:57,190
"Big 'P-word' Energy"?
204
00:07:57,690 --> 00:07:59,650
"A Gay Anthem by Hospice"?
205
00:07:59,734 --> 00:08:01,027
It's Ho Spice.
206
00:08:01,110 --> 00:08:03,279
-It should never be written down.
-[Chuck] Even worse.
207
00:08:03,362 --> 00:08:05,198
Girls, this isn't Decatur, Georgia.
208
00:08:05,281 --> 00:08:06,365
You're telling me.
209
00:08:06,449 --> 00:08:09,535
Bumpr is now just sending me
soft-faced men.
210
00:08:09,619 --> 00:08:13,080
Gals, I'm not sure
you're being entirely honest with me.
211
00:08:13,164 --> 00:08:14,957
I suggest you stick to your Cougar covers.
212
00:08:15,041 --> 00:08:18,044
Well, senator,
you're not the boss of what we sing.
213
00:08:18,127 --> 00:08:20,254
-I think he is.
-[pensive music playing]
214
00:08:20,796 --> 00:08:22,048
Ten-thousand-dollar watch,
215
00:08:22,131 --> 00:08:24,258
the calluses of a chronic golfer,
and that photo.
216
00:08:24,342 --> 00:08:25,593
[dramatic sting plays]
217
00:08:25,676 --> 00:08:27,678
-[gasps] Oh, my gosh.
-Are you with The Shining?
218
00:08:27,762 --> 00:08:28,846
Ooh, close.
219
00:08:28,930 --> 00:08:31,557
That's my granddaddy, Charles Sr. Sr.
220
00:08:31,641 --> 00:08:33,726
My family bought this place in the '60s
221
00:08:33,809 --> 00:08:35,728
to keep it from becoming
a filthy pool hall.
222
00:08:35,811 --> 00:08:37,605
It was an overreaction
to seeing The Music Man.
223
00:08:37,688 --> 00:08:39,524
-Oh.
-But today we own...
224
00:08:39,607 --> 00:08:41,609
Oh, hey. That one right there. Yep.
225
00:08:41,692 --> 00:08:43,027
The Sound Barrel, that's us.
226
00:08:43,110 --> 00:08:46,697
-[laughs] You're tickling my back tummy.
-Entertainment Trough, that's us too.
227
00:08:46,781 --> 00:08:49,951
And of course we own every Tune Cave
in the Southeast and the Midwest.
228
00:08:50,034 --> 00:08:53,454
-I love our new friend.
-We own all those, except for Radio City.
229
00:08:53,538 --> 00:08:55,581
-I'll let that sink in.
-[dramatic music crescendos]
230
00:08:57,792 --> 00:08:59,043
So...
231
00:08:59,919 --> 00:09:02,004
Cougar covers! Wonderful.
232
00:09:02,630 --> 00:09:07,093
? Small town, unneutered dogs ?
233
00:09:07,176 --> 00:09:11,180
? Remembering high school ?
234
00:09:11,264 --> 00:09:14,600
-[whoops] Cougar, we love it!
-Yes!
235
00:09:14,684 --> 00:09:16,727
My king loves it. We love it.
236
00:09:16,811 --> 00:09:19,689
-[tense music playing]
-I can't believe you didn't back me up.
237
00:09:19,772 --> 00:09:22,400
I can't believe you almost blew
our next 20 shows.
238
00:09:22,483 --> 00:09:24,193
What if we just tone down our lyrics?
239
00:09:24,277 --> 00:09:27,196
I used to do
Clean Kidz Club versions of N.W.A.
240
00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:29,949
? Ducks are mean geese
Coming straight for the campground ?
241
00:09:30,032 --> 00:09:32,368
? Their heads are bigger
And their beaks do frowns ?
242
00:09:32,451 --> 00:09:33,953
? Ducks are mean geese! ?
243
00:09:35,496 --> 00:09:37,873
Of course you'd be cool
to change our whole show.
244
00:09:37,957 --> 00:09:40,543
-What's that supposed to mean?
-You know what's better than Cougar?
245
00:09:40,626 --> 00:09:42,378
Ska. Do you have huge suits?
246
00:09:42,461 --> 00:09:45,256
Oh, my God.
That is such a great idea, king.
247
00:09:45,339 --> 00:09:47,758
See? You just go along
with whatever a guy tells you.
248
00:09:47,842 --> 00:09:50,011
-Why is he even here?
-I got this one, queen.
249
00:09:50,094 --> 00:09:52,096
The ancient stone turquoise...
250
00:09:52,179 --> 00:09:55,433
-Get the fuck out of here, Randy!
-I hate your friends.
251
00:09:55,516 --> 00:09:58,436
-[hisses]
-You guys, what are you doing?
252
00:09:58,519 --> 00:10:01,063
He is, like, my everything.
253
00:10:01,147 --> 00:10:03,524
Summer, you are a relationship chameleon.
254
00:10:03,608 --> 00:10:07,028
You were a carbon copy of Kev,
now you're a carbon copy of Randy.
255
00:10:07,111 --> 00:10:08,946
-You're glomming.
-I do not glom.
256
00:10:09,030 --> 00:10:10,615
You're glomming, Jerry! You're a glommer!
257
00:10:10,698 --> 00:10:12,825
You don't even dress yourself.
258
00:10:12,908 --> 00:10:16,245
Oh! [scoffs] I have dressed myself.
259
00:10:17,788 --> 00:10:18,623
Wait.
260
00:10:18,706 --> 00:10:20,666
[pensive music playing]
261
00:10:20,750 --> 00:10:21,584
Wait.
262
00:10:22,877 --> 00:10:25,129
Wait, wait.
263
00:10:25,212 --> 00:10:26,464
Oh, my God.
264
00:10:28,633 --> 00:10:29,675
I haven't.
265
00:10:30,676 --> 00:10:31,510
Ever.
266
00:10:31,594 --> 00:10:32,678
-What?
-Not possible.
267
00:10:32,762 --> 00:10:35,806
No, you guys, my dad used to dress me
like a Christian doll.
268
00:10:35,890 --> 00:10:38,309
Larry dressed me like a horny virgin.
And then Kev...
269
00:10:38,392 --> 00:10:42,396
Maybe it's time for you
to just be yourself.
270
00:10:44,315 --> 00:10:45,775
Myself?
271
00:10:46,317 --> 00:10:47,902
Who even is myself?
272
00:10:49,362 --> 00:10:50,363
[Summer sobs]
273
00:10:51,614 --> 00:10:52,990
-Hey, queen.
-[Summer] Hey, king.
274
00:10:53,074 --> 00:10:54,200
No! Damn it!
275
00:10:54,283 --> 00:10:55,201
[door closes]
276
00:10:55,284 --> 00:10:56,118
That's a bummer.
277
00:10:56,202 --> 00:10:57,912
You're being the same
amount bummer, Wickie.
278
00:10:57,995 --> 00:10:59,830
You wanna let Chuck Dennis
tell us what to do.
279
00:10:59,914 --> 00:11:01,040
Yeah, for money.
280
00:11:01,123 --> 00:11:04,335
How can you even put a price
on having our voices heard?
281
00:11:04,418 --> 00:11:05,795
Oh, stop the charad�.
282
00:11:05,878 --> 00:11:08,130
When have you ever
actually stood up for anything?
283
00:11:08,214 --> 00:11:10,591
I watched you try and donate to the ACLU,
284
00:11:10,675 --> 00:11:13,928
but then give up when the site
didn't recognize your credit card.
285
00:11:14,011 --> 00:11:15,554
My wallet was in different jeans.
286
00:11:16,222 --> 00:11:20,601
Fine. I'm not perfect,
but I don't want to cave to that guy.
287
00:11:20,685 --> 00:11:23,145
Gloria, don't you want
to sing your "Gay Anthem"?
288
00:11:23,229 --> 00:11:26,315
To what gays? It's a boob desert.
289
00:11:26,399 --> 00:11:29,318
Now Warren is gonna die
because he can't take a shit.
290
00:11:29,402 --> 00:11:30,736
-[Warren wheezing]
-Gloria.
291
00:11:30,820 --> 00:11:32,488
-[Gloria] He needs a laxative.
-Dawn,
292
00:11:32,571 --> 00:11:35,908
you've gotta play nice with the suits
who control the money.
293
00:11:35,991 --> 00:11:39,203
Whether it's Chuck Dennis, label reps,
294
00:11:39,286 --> 00:11:42,623
the ad execs when I was briefly
the face of Spaghetti for Her.
295
00:11:42,707 --> 00:11:44,917
Finally, a one-inch-shorter spaghetti
296
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:48,754
that's designed for a woman's throat,
stomach, and intestines.
297
00:11:48,838 --> 00:11:49,964
Thanks, Barilla.
298
00:11:50,047 --> 00:11:52,258
Now I can eat spaghetti.
299
00:11:52,341 --> 00:11:54,677
Or the UPN suits when I was Hot Wife 2
300
00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:56,303
on Wazzzup: The Sitcom.
301
00:11:56,387 --> 00:11:58,514
-[man 1] Wazzzup!
-[man 2] Wazzzup!
302
00:11:58,597 --> 00:12:01,308
-[audience cheering]
-I'll tell you what's "wazzzup."
303
00:12:01,392 --> 00:12:03,978
The car still isn't fixed, Corey.
304
00:12:04,061 --> 00:12:05,604
[audience laughing]
305
00:12:06,689 --> 00:12:07,523
[sighs]
306
00:12:08,607 --> 00:12:11,277
I just... I feel like a coward.
307
00:12:13,028 --> 00:12:15,322
Wickie, I'm having a girl.
308
00:12:15,406 --> 00:12:17,450
That's a Pizzagate. So...
309
00:12:17,533 --> 00:12:19,577
You're having a girl, Ms. Solano.
310
00:12:19,660 --> 00:12:20,536
A girl?
311
00:12:20,619 --> 00:12:22,246
Oh, joy.
312
00:12:22,329 --> 00:12:23,998
She's having a modor.
313
00:12:24,081 --> 00:12:25,166
[haunting sting plays]
314
00:12:25,249 --> 00:12:26,792
Congratulations, host.
315
00:12:27,752 --> 00:12:30,254
-Oh!
-[cheerful music playing]
316
00:12:30,337 --> 00:12:31,547
Is she gonna hate me
317
00:12:31,630 --> 00:12:34,425
'cause I didn't stand up
to the Chucks of the world?
318
00:12:34,508 --> 00:12:35,509
Oh, honey.
319
00:12:36,218 --> 00:12:38,345
She's gonna hate you regardless.
320
00:12:39,847 --> 00:12:41,140
All girls do.
321
00:12:42,558 --> 00:12:45,060
Hey. Okay, listen.
322
00:12:45,144 --> 00:12:47,646
When you're on your way up
and somebody does you wrong,
323
00:12:47,730 --> 00:12:50,357
you just give them a long, hard stare...
324
00:12:51,150 --> 00:12:52,693
and bank the memory.
325
00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:56,697
Then when you have power, you remember.
326
00:12:56,781 --> 00:12:57,656
[chuckles]
327
00:12:58,449 --> 00:12:59,742
My bank is full:
328
00:12:59,825 --> 00:13:01,786
Dreamgirls casting director.
329
00:13:01,869 --> 00:13:04,914
Criss Angel for using magic
to end the relationship.
330
00:13:04,997 --> 00:13:08,751
The all-white hair and makeup department
at Wazzzup: The Sitcom.
331
00:13:08,834 --> 00:13:12,296
When I finally get my due,
they will get theirs.
332
00:13:12,379 --> 00:13:16,425
So just bank Chuck Dennis
so you don't gut our tour.
333
00:13:17,468 --> 00:13:20,513
I promise, we will humiliate him
at the Grammys.
334
00:13:23,307 --> 00:13:24,433
For now,
335
00:13:24,517 --> 00:13:28,103
we just need to suck it up and survive.
336
00:13:29,146 --> 00:13:32,525
So please join me in the real world.
337
00:13:35,277 --> 00:13:37,321
Let's get that again, Percy,
but with more emotion.
338
00:13:37,404 --> 00:13:38,739
Can you make me cry?
339
00:13:38,823 --> 00:13:42,159
Uh, once, a sperm bank had me
just do it into the trash can.
340
00:13:42,243 --> 00:13:43,494
Thank you, Percy.
341
00:13:45,204 --> 00:13:47,122
[poignant pop music playing]
342
00:13:47,206 --> 00:13:49,208
[Summer] ? Is there a me? ?
343
00:13:51,377 --> 00:13:53,963
? Or is me just guys? ?
344
00:13:54,046 --> 00:13:56,841
? Do I have any middle ?
345
00:13:57,967 --> 00:14:00,511
? That's my own inside? ?
346
00:14:00,594 --> 00:14:03,055
? Do I even like The Witcher ?
347
00:14:03,764 --> 00:14:07,059
? Or is it just to please a mister? ?
348
00:14:07,142 --> 00:14:09,645
? And what even is The Witcher? ?
349
00:14:09,728 --> 00:14:12,898
? I watched 40 minutes ?
350
00:14:12,982 --> 00:14:19,864
? And I'm still not sure! ?
351
00:14:20,573 --> 00:14:23,325
? Is there a me? ?
352
00:14:24,201 --> 00:14:27,162
? Or is me just guys? ?
353
00:14:27,246 --> 00:14:29,623
? Are they the reason why ?
354
00:14:30,541 --> 00:14:34,587
? I always keep my mouth a little open? ?
355
00:14:34,670 --> 00:14:38,549
? Let The Man Show
Film me in slow-motion ?
356
00:14:38,632 --> 00:14:41,594
? Sleep with all my makeup on ?
357
00:14:41,677 --> 00:14:45,222
? And are they why I eat wings ?
358
00:14:45,306 --> 00:14:48,767
? Like this? ?
359
00:14:50,144 --> 00:14:53,647
? Oh! ?
360
00:14:55,357 --> 00:14:56,400
[gasps]
361
00:14:58,444 --> 00:15:01,989
Ma'am! Give me all your tiny sewing kits.
I need all of them.
362
00:15:02,072 --> 00:15:04,408
-[hopeful music playing]
-Thank you. Thank you so much.
363
00:15:04,491 --> 00:15:06,744
More. Thank you! Thank you.
364
00:15:07,453 --> 00:15:08,454
Thank you!
365
00:15:11,582 --> 00:15:14,501
? Sensitive boy ?
366
00:15:14,585 --> 00:15:18,631
-? I am just a sensitive boy ?
-[woman] Oh, my God. You're so hot.
367
00:15:18,714 --> 00:15:20,299
[in British accent] Oh, shite.
368
00:15:26,597 --> 00:15:28,140
Hey! You aren't by chance...
369
00:15:28,223 --> 00:15:30,684
-That was quick.
-...using that ketchup, are you?
370
00:15:30,768 --> 00:15:34,772
I need the separated ketchup water
for a sick squirrel.
371
00:15:34,855 --> 00:15:36,690
It's a natural laxative.
372
00:15:37,775 --> 00:15:39,234
Oh. Uh... [clears throat]
373
00:15:39,318 --> 00:15:41,737
[in deep, Southern accent]
Uh, sure thing, little mama.
374
00:15:44,114 --> 00:15:47,534
Wherever you are, you can always
count on a Macaroni Rascal's.
375
00:15:47,618 --> 00:15:50,371
Tell me about it.
Especially when you're always on the road.
376
00:15:51,121 --> 00:15:52,206
I'm a trucker.
377
00:15:52,289 --> 00:15:53,248
Hmm.
378
00:15:53,332 --> 00:15:55,000
And when every day's different,
379
00:15:55,084 --> 00:15:57,795
it's nice to come somewhere
that's always the same.
380
00:15:57,878 --> 00:15:59,505
It's, uh... It's comforting.
381
00:15:59,588 --> 00:16:01,131
Well, I could use some comfort.
382
00:16:01,215 --> 00:16:03,217
See, I'm a musician.
383
00:16:03,300 --> 00:16:05,177
You wouldn't understand. It's dream stuff.
384
00:16:05,260 --> 00:16:07,930
But I was just really hoping
385
00:16:08,013 --> 00:16:10,432
that my community
would show up for me tonight.
386
00:16:12,393 --> 00:16:14,520
[sighs] But we're in a boob desert.
387
00:16:15,896 --> 00:16:20,150
Well, I trucked 60 miles out of my way
to get this Spaghetti � la Pasta.
388
00:16:20,943 --> 00:16:23,153
You know?
So maybe don't give up hope just yet.
389
00:16:23,904 --> 00:16:26,490
People go a long way
if it matters to them.
390
00:16:26,573 --> 00:16:28,993
[hopeful music playing]
391
00:16:30,411 --> 00:16:31,412
[music fades]
392
00:16:34,331 --> 00:16:35,582
Right. [clears throat] I, uh...
393
00:16:35,666 --> 00:16:38,002
I gotta hit the road and deliver...
394
00:16:39,044 --> 00:16:40,421
like, a million chairs.
395
00:16:40,504 --> 00:16:41,338
Oh!
396
00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:44,258
-Oh, my God, you're Gray Holland.
-[upbeat music playing]
397
00:16:44,341 --> 00:16:45,384
Oh, my God.
398
00:16:46,427 --> 00:16:47,803
Gray Holland!
399
00:16:47,886 --> 00:16:49,930
-[dramatic music playing]
-Oh, my God.
400
00:16:50,014 --> 00:16:52,016
Have you not shit yet still?
401
00:16:52,099 --> 00:16:56,228
[Dawn]
? It's hard to know when to speak up ?
402
00:16:57,354 --> 00:17:02,943
? So that anyone will hear ?
403
00:17:03,027 --> 00:17:05,446
-? To be bold ?
-? To be bold ?
404
00:17:05,529 --> 00:17:07,990
-? Or push it down ?
-? Or push it down ?
405
00:17:08,073 --> 00:17:13,537
? 'Cause what's next just isn't clear ?
406
00:17:13,620 --> 00:17:18,292
? But I want you to know ?
407
00:17:19,376 --> 00:17:24,089
? The time to rise up is ?
408
00:17:24,923 --> 00:17:28,719
? Later! ?
409
00:17:30,512 --> 00:17:33,932
? Later! ?
410
00:17:34,683 --> 00:17:37,686
? Now's not the right time
Let's aim for next year ?
411
00:17:37,770 --> 00:17:40,189
? We'll have no fear and maybe by then ?
412
00:17:40,272 --> 00:17:45,194
? The problems got solved by themselves
Or on their own ?
413
00:17:48,739 --> 00:17:52,242
? There's a young boy in a factory ?
414
00:17:52,826 --> 00:17:55,454
? Sweat all over his head ?
415
00:17:55,537 --> 00:17:56,747
? He said ?
416
00:17:56,830 --> 00:18:00,125
? I'm gonna build every single mama
Her own car ?
417
00:18:00,209 --> 00:18:05,798
? But then the factory said
"Ooh, nuh-uh, boy!" ?
418
00:18:05,881 --> 00:18:08,759
-All hail John Cougar.
-[lilting music playing]
419
00:18:08,842 --> 00:18:10,803
Oh! Wonderful, ladies.
420
00:18:12,221 --> 00:18:14,807
Warren, honey,
if you're not gonna drink the coffee,
421
00:18:14,890 --> 00:18:17,684
do you think
that watching me go would help?
422
00:18:17,768 --> 00:18:20,771
-[woman 1] Are you here for Ho Spice?
-[woman 2] What do you think she does
423
00:18:20,854 --> 00:18:23,107
-before the show?
-Wolf cut, wolf sweatshirt,
424
00:18:23,190 --> 00:18:24,191
indoor backpack,
425
00:18:24,274 --> 00:18:27,694
faded Dar Williams tattoo,
fresh Arlo Parks tattoo,
426
00:18:27,778 --> 00:18:30,155
the cat-scratch scars of a vet tech?
427
00:18:30,239 --> 00:18:31,448
Lesbians?
428
00:18:31,532 --> 00:18:33,283
-It can't be.
-It's Ho Spice!
429
00:18:33,367 --> 00:18:34,993
[all gasping and cheering]
430
00:18:35,077 --> 00:18:37,246
[fans chattering excitedly]
431
00:18:37,329 --> 00:18:38,247
You're here for me?
432
00:18:39,206 --> 00:18:42,501
I told you never to write it down.
But how?
433
00:18:42,584 --> 00:18:45,170
Not many queer artists come
through the Quin-State Area.
434
00:18:45,254 --> 00:18:47,631
So when there is one, we make the trek.
435
00:18:48,590 --> 00:18:51,135
People will go a long way
if it matters to them.
436
00:18:52,761 --> 00:18:54,096
I matter to you.
437
00:18:54,847 --> 00:18:56,014
Thank you.
438
00:18:56,098 --> 00:18:58,225
[cheering and whooping]
439
00:18:58,308 --> 00:19:00,561
? Hut, hut, with the porch beer ?
440
00:19:00,644 --> 00:19:03,438
Hey, guys, I'm the gay Pied Piper
of the Ozarks. Look.
441
00:19:04,106 --> 00:19:05,440
The gays showed up.
442
00:19:06,441 --> 00:19:08,443
[dramatic music playing]
443
00:19:08,527 --> 00:19:10,654
And I wanna show up for them.
444
00:19:11,238 --> 00:19:12,865
We're gonna do our show.
445
00:19:12,948 --> 00:19:15,284
No, Gloria. We are doing Cougar covers.
446
00:19:15,367 --> 00:19:19,121
"Factory Car," "Little Boy, Big Country,"
"Truck Fulla Chairs."
447
00:19:19,204 --> 00:19:22,249
I realized that revenge
is a dish best served later.
448
00:19:22,332 --> 00:19:23,417
And I have five years
449
00:19:23,500 --> 00:19:25,419
before my daughter starts
forming memories.
450
00:19:25,502 --> 00:19:27,296
-Six, if I don't read to her.
-You guys.
451
00:19:27,379 --> 00:19:29,047
[music turns whimsical]
452
00:19:29,131 --> 00:19:31,967
I made my own clothes
out of stuff at the hotel.
453
00:19:32,050 --> 00:19:33,635
Loofahs, the comforter.
454
00:19:33,719 --> 00:19:34,887
This...
455
00:19:34,970 --> 00:19:37,055
This is the new me.
456
00:19:37,139 --> 00:19:40,767
Totally original, still very hot,
but on my terms.
457
00:19:40,851 --> 00:19:43,937
This is not to appeal
to your sack, buddy, okay?
458
00:19:44,021 --> 00:19:46,148
-Good. It doesn't.
-[Summer] Oh.
459
00:19:46,231 --> 00:19:48,150
My thing is an older lady in a raincoat.
460
00:19:48,233 --> 00:19:52,362
Ugh. I'm really done
being pushed around by guys.
461
00:19:52,446 --> 00:19:53,614
-Yeah.
-[audience cheering]
462
00:19:53,697 --> 00:19:55,199
Including that senator.
463
00:19:55,991 --> 00:19:58,660
Music Hole, you are in for a treat.
464
00:20:00,287 --> 00:20:03,081
No. We are not blowing up
our tour over him.
465
00:20:03,165 --> 00:20:04,625
Nothing will change my mind.
466
00:20:04,708 --> 00:20:08,545
Please welcome the gals from Girls5eva.
467
00:20:08,629 --> 00:20:13,467
Dawn, Summer, Wickie, and Gloria!
468
00:20:13,550 --> 00:20:14,551
Pause.
469
00:20:14,635 --> 00:20:18,096
Did that man just introduce me third?
470
00:20:18,180 --> 00:20:21,099
-That's when people say my name.
-Destroy him, Dawn!
471
00:20:21,183 --> 00:20:22,392
-Fuck tomorrow!
-Oh, no.
472
00:20:22,476 --> 00:20:24,811
I thought we were waiting.
I'm not prepared.
473
00:20:24,895 --> 00:20:27,439
You wanna do something?
Now's your chance. I believe in you.
474
00:20:27,522 --> 00:20:29,483
-Yeah.
-Oh, wow. Oh, wow!
475
00:20:29,566 --> 00:20:31,568
[audience cheering and whistling]
476
00:20:33,028 --> 00:20:34,029
Thank you, Chuck.
477
00:20:34,112 --> 00:20:35,781
I mean, no.
478
00:20:35,864 --> 00:20:37,199
Not thank you, Chuck.
479
00:20:37,908 --> 00:20:41,954
Music Hole's Senator Dennis is bad.
480
00:20:43,622 --> 00:20:48,961
That is why it is vital to vote early
and often.
481
00:20:49,044 --> 00:20:51,338
Oh, sweetie, that is
breast-cancer-screening language.
482
00:20:51,421 --> 00:20:56,468
The point is, if men got pregnant,
you'd get one from your mailman.
483
00:20:56,551 --> 00:20:59,179
-What's "one"?
-This is unfocused.
484
00:20:59,263 --> 00:21:02,140
Because what if A-Rod
hadn't finished in my hair?
485
00:21:02,224 --> 00:21:04,810
-Okay, she's bad at this.
-Wait. Sorry.
486
00:21:04,893 --> 00:21:07,813
My generation didn't grow up
caring about things.
487
00:21:07,896 --> 00:21:10,565
This is new. But I drink almond milk.
488
00:21:10,649 --> 00:21:12,651
You shouldn't. They use so much water.
489
00:21:12,734 --> 00:21:15,112
-Fuck! I'm sorry, guys.
-Oof. Let's end this.
490
00:21:15,195 --> 00:21:17,823
I'm gonna do better.
I'm gonna do research.
491
00:21:18,740 --> 00:21:22,494
? Big, big pussy, pussy ener-energy ?
492
00:21:22,577 --> 00:21:26,331
? Big, big pussy, pussy ener-energy! ?
493
00:21:26,415 --> 00:21:27,874
No, no, no.
494
00:21:27,958 --> 00:21:29,084
["B.P.E." playing]
495
00:21:29,167 --> 00:21:31,128
? B.P.E. ?
496
00:21:31,211 --> 00:21:34,756
? Got that big pussy energy ?
497
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:36,717
? Yeah, yeah, yeah ?
498
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:38,051
Stop!
499
00:21:38,135 --> 00:21:41,805
? Stepping up, done playing it small ?
500
00:21:41,888 --> 00:21:45,058
? Taking over, yeah, wall to wall ?
501
00:21:45,142 --> 00:21:46,143
Stop!
502
00:21:46,226 --> 00:21:48,186
[dramatic music playing]
503
00:21:50,063 --> 00:21:51,106
[buzzes]
504
00:21:51,189 --> 00:21:52,733
["B.P.E." continues playing]
505
00:21:53,525 --> 00:21:54,693
[ringing]
506
00:21:54,776 --> 00:21:57,362
I declare a Footloose!
507
00:21:57,446 --> 00:22:00,866
No singing! No dancing!
508
00:22:00,949 --> 00:22:03,118
It's a Footloose!
509
00:22:04,161 --> 00:22:05,829
[guard over comm]
Footloose, shut this down.
510
00:22:05,912 --> 00:22:06,872
Still worth it.
511
00:22:06,955 --> 00:22:09,499
Modor, get in your sack, honey.
512
00:22:09,583 --> 00:22:12,419
[woman on radio] A Footloose was declared
for the second time this month,
513
00:22:12,502 --> 00:22:14,504
the last one due to prom dresses
that showed stomach.
514
00:22:14,588 --> 00:22:16,340
I got some shots in, right, guys?
515
00:22:16,423 --> 00:22:18,508
The good news is that someday
our sun will explode
516
00:22:18,592 --> 00:22:20,594
and there will be no record
of what you said tonight.
517
00:22:20,677 --> 00:22:21,553
[Summer groans]
518
00:22:21,636 --> 00:22:24,973
Guys, our next 20 gigs are canceled.
519
00:22:25,057 --> 00:22:28,560
We are out of money and Suitelets points.
Where are we even going?
520
00:22:29,519 --> 00:22:32,022
[sighs] I know where we can stay for free.
521
00:22:32,105 --> 00:22:34,191
[dramatic music building]
522
00:22:34,274 --> 00:22:35,609
Maryland.
523
00:22:35,692 --> 00:22:37,110
[music crescendos]
524
00:22:37,194 --> 00:22:38,820
Why did you say it like that?
525
00:22:38,904 --> 00:22:40,906
-[Warren squeaks]
-[gasps] The squirrel is shitting!
526
00:22:41,531 --> 00:22:42,908
Nope, those are babies.
527
00:22:42,991 --> 00:22:45,994
["Inside My Sweater" playing]
528
00:22:51,792 --> 00:22:54,294
? Sensitive boy ?
529
00:22:54,961 --> 00:22:58,924
? I am just a sensitive boy ?
530
00:22:59,758 --> 00:23:03,553
? Too humble to tell you about my houses ?
531
00:23:04,513 --> 00:23:10,060
? Too shy to show you my drawings of you ?
532
00:23:10,852 --> 00:23:12,687
? Just wanna cry ?
533
00:23:13,313 --> 00:23:17,984
? Inside my sweater with you ?
534
00:23:18,527 --> 00:23:19,444
? Unh ?
535
00:23:20,195 --> 00:23:25,450
? So will you please, please ?
536
00:23:25,534 --> 00:23:30,789
? Come live with me? ?
537
00:23:30,872 --> 00:23:33,417
? Inside my sweater ?
538
00:23:33,500 --> 00:23:35,669
? Sweater, sweater ?
539
00:23:35,752 --> 00:23:38,130
? Inside my loose sweater ?
540
00:23:38,213 --> 00:23:40,674
? Sweater, sweater ?
541
00:23:40,757 --> 00:23:43,760
? Play hide-and-seek
And sleep and dream with me ?
542
00:23:43,844 --> 00:23:46,721
? Inside my sweater, sweater, sweater ?
543
00:23:46,805 --> 00:23:49,391
? Inside my sweater ?
544
00:23:49,474 --> 00:23:52,436
? Sweater, sweater, sweater ?
545
00:23:52,519 --> 00:23:57,482
? Inside my loose sweater
Sweater, sweater ?
546
00:23:57,566 --> 00:24:00,610
? Play hide-and-seek
And sleep and dream with me ?
547
00:24:00,694 --> 00:24:03,488
? Inside my sweater, sweater, sweater ?
548
00:24:03,572 --> 00:24:06,992
? Inside my sweater, sweater ?
41534
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