Original subtitles

On The Dukes:

A widow's rare vase makes a hog out of Boss...

Lock up them Duke boys.

And trouble for the Dukes.

Holy mackerel!

Hang on.

No! Don't go backwards!

♪ Just a-good old boys ♪

♪ Never meanin' no harm ♪

♪ Beats all you never saw ♪

♪ Been in trouble with the law ♪

♪ Since the day they was born ♪

♪ Straightenin' the curves ♪

♪ Flattenin' the hills ♪

♪ Some day the mountain might get 'em ♪

♪ But the law never will ♪

♪ Makin' their way ♪

♪ The only way they know how ♪

♪ That's just a little but more ♪

♪ Than the law will allow ♪

♪ Just a-good old boys ♪

♪ Wouldn't change if they could ♪

♪ Fightin' the system ♪

♪ Like a true modern-day Robin Hood ♪

When you see the Dukes firewalling...

either they're being chased or helping somebody.

Well, they ain't being chased.

Uncle Jesse...

how much you figure Widow Partridge is gonna make...

with this barn sale?

Maybe enough to pay off the mortgage to J.D. Hogg.

Really? That much?

Now old Simon, he was pretty savvy when it come...

to collecting them antiques.

He got quite a good collection...

and it should bring a hefty amount of money.

There isn't a whole heck of a lot we could buy.

Not with $25 between the lot of us.

Every little bit helps.

Y'all can tell that these folks ain't from Hazzard.

Everybody in Hazzard knows about that rut in the road.

Easy, you fool!

I haven't traveled 5,000 miles unscathed...

to have you drive me off the edge of some primitive road.

Sorry, Mr. Beckman.

27 years of searching, Maury.

Hong Kong, Moscow, Paris, Cairo, Tibet.

To think the end of my quest should come so innocuously...

in a little town called Hazzard.

That's $50, $70, $90...

$110, $130, $150, $170.

Alright, here. $190.

That's $210, $220, $230, $235...

$240, $245, $246, $247, $248, $249...

$250!

Paid in full for the whole lot.

You Dukes are too late to buy anything at this barn sale.

Unless you got a hankering to just buy the barn.

Emma...

do you mean that you sold all of Simon's goods for $250?

I had to, Jesse.

Nobody else made me an offer.

And I had my mortgage to think of.

All that stuff's got to be worth 10 times that.

Boss Hogg done snookered you.

Now, Emma, I'll just take back that $250...

and apply it as a payment towards your mortgage.

Now then, you got just three days to raise the rest...

which comes to exactly... $353.62.

Alright. Rosco!

I'm sorry that we didn't get here in time.

We meant to come and try to help you out a little bit.

Looks like J.D.'s done bought it all.

Look at this cute little vase I found.

What vase?

It's got all these pictures.

- That's pretty. - Isn't that neat?

A little vase? I must've overlooked that.

Emma, I'll give you $1 for it.

$1? Well, that vase has gotta be worth at least...

$25.

Now, Luke, you know that ain't worth no $25.

We only wish it could be more.

Why, it's just a dumb souvenir that Simon brought back...

from England after the First World War.

You can have it for free.

You can give it to us for free...

as long as you take this $25 in cash off our hands.

$25!

Which I will deduct from the balance of your mortgage.

Ain't no skin off my nose if you Dukes...

wanna throw away your money.

Goodbye, Miss Emma.

Emma, we'll be getting our crops in pretty soon now...

and we'll be able to help you out a little more.

Until then, we'll be by to check on you once in a while.

Thank you.

- Bye, Emma. - We'll see you, Emma.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

Catch you later.

I got an extra $25 because the Dukes wanted a piece of junk.

Oh, good.

Wait a minute.

Who have we here?

Beckman is my name, madam.

May I offer my sincerest condolences.

I read of your husband Simon's passing in...

the Nashville obituary column.

Thank you kindly.

What can I do for you, Mr. Beckman?

I'm a dealer in artifacts, madam...

as I understand your late husband was.

Well, if you mean Simon loved to collect junk in his time...

yes, that was him.

Junk? Well, yes.

I believe one such piece of junk he had...

in his possession was a small vase he purchased...

in the little village of Canterbury, England?

That little old crock with a lot of funny pictures on it.

Junk, just pure junk.

Well, madam, I'm a dealer in junk of that nature...

and I'm prepared to offer you $500 for it.

$500!

Oh, my!

I sure could use money like that, mister...

but I can't sell it to you.

$750?

No, you see, you don't get my drift.

$1,000.

Let's get moving, Rosco. I got business with the Dukes.

The Dukes? What kind of business?

To buy off of them that little vase...

they just bought off the widow, you dodo.

Don't you get it?

If that fancy pants...

is willing to spend $1,000 for that dumb crock today...

maybe he'll be willing to pay me $5,000 tomorrow.

- Now get moving. - Get in the front seat, Boss.

Move over, Flash.

Dang, Rosco!

That gutter there about two inches.

Not that one. The other one.

- Cut them here. - Alright...

Don't this vase make these flowers look pretty?

If you say there's a vase under there, I'll believe you.

What you gonna do, bring them to work?

I thought it'll pretty up the Boars Nest.

It'd take a meadow of flowers...

to gussy up a place like the Boars Nest.

- I gotta stop by Cooter's. - Alright. Don't take all day.

That's enough about flowers. Let's get this done.

Alright.

Hello, Dukes.

- Jesse. - Hey there, J.D.

Luke, say, I just came out here...

to get myself another gander...

at that inconsequential crock...

you just bought off the Widow Partridge.

That cute little flowerpot just took my fancy.

Why all this sudden interest in that little...

"inconsequential crock"?

Well, after you left, it just entered my head...

that that little vase would go very handsomely...

with my Lulu's collection of other flower vases.

Well, now, I didn't know Lulu collected flower vases, J.D.

- That's right. - How many's she got?

None.

Well, it's gonna be her first. The first of many.

So, I tell you what, I'll give you $50 for the thing.

That'll be 100% profit for you.

- What do you say? - $75.

Alright, why haggle? I'll make it $75.

$100.

Alright. You drive a hard bargain. I'll make it $100.

Is that a deal?

Vase is getting more valuable by the minute.

We can't afford to let it go.

It's kind of nice having something around...

the farm that you can't afford to buy.

Alright. That's the way it is?

I'll just come to the second reason why I came by here.

Right, and the second reason is...

- What's the second reason? - The money!

The money, yes.

Of course, I'm gonna have Bo and Luke Duke arrested...

for passing these counterfeit bills...

off on the poor Widow Partridge.

Let me see them counterfeit bills.

Now, J.D., I'm not letting these boys go nowhere...

with you until I see them counterfeit bills.

Well, first, I gotta send them to the FBI.

But on second thought...

I might just find it possible...

to forget all about this little misunderstanding...

without prejudice...

if you reconsider selling me that vase.

That's blackmail, J.D.

Alright, then. Rosco, do your duty!

Right. Now just wher-where are you going?

Now, boys, go!

Jesse, I...

- You're squashing me. - You're obstructing justice.

I ain't obstructing justice. I'm sitting on it.

And I'm gonna stay here till you show me that counterfeit...

I just felt something snap. Get up.

Help me up. I'm ailing.

I didn't mean to hurt your...

You didn't. I fooled you.

He fell for my act. I should be on a stage.

Yeah? Well, save your bows till you catch them Duke boys.

Come on.

I just love fooling that old goat.

Get in, Boss.

I hope that dog's in the back seat now.

April fool, Jesse.

Come on!

What's so valuable about that dang vase?

It ain't as if it's made of gold.

But I'd like to get a look...

at it before Daisy gets to the Boars Nest.

Hello, Daisy, this here is Luke. You got your ears on?

Come on, Daisy, come back.

Dang, she's probably listening to that Waylon tape.

First things first, cousin. We gotta lose Rosco.

Bad news, Boss. I think we lost them.

We? What do you mean "we"?

What you should say is, "I think I lost them."

Then maybe you lost them. But I think...

- You lost them! - I lost them.

That's it, Maury.

That's the car the Partridge woman described to us.

They have the vase.

Now, stop them, Maury, and I don't care how you do it.

Give them a warning. Shoot out their tires.

Ought to be all downhill from here.

No. Somebody's trying to drive right up our tailpipe.

Was that a gun?

Of course, it was a gun. Now drive!

Look out for that wagon.

You know, even a bad shot could hit that.

- Hold it. - Alright.

Howdy.

Look, you guys, just what exactly is it you want?

That lovely little vase you purchased this morning.

If you just hand it over, we'll be on our way.

That thing sure is causing a lot of trouble.

It has for over 2,000 years. I'll take it now, please.

If it was on either one of us, you'd be able to tell, right?

You're welcome to check the car.

Maury.

You might have to use two hands. It sticks sometimes.

Fisticuffs won't be necessary. I'm a devout coward.

What are we gonna do now?

I think we're gonna head to the Boars Nest.

It's about time we found Daisy...

and see what that vase is all about.

Thing was, though, Daisy wasn't there...

being she had to make a pit stop at Cooter's.

Cooter, I never seen you so gussied up.

- Going to a funeral? - No. Thank goodness.

No, I'm going to a birthday barbecue...

old Stump Roundtree is throwing for me.

- Happy birthday, Cooter. - Thank you.

Why didn't you tell me? I didn't know.

When you get to be my age, you know...

Wait a minute. I do have something for you.

Alright.

Here you go. Happy Birthday from all us Dukes.

I don't think I've been given flowers by a lady before...

but coming from you, it's a real honor.

- It'll brighten things around. - Sure will.

Happy birthday.

Thanks, Daisy. Thanks a million.

I'll get Bo and Luke and we'll give you birthday spanking.

Drive careful, now.

I tell you that crock has changed hands more than...

a riverboat deck of cards.

- You know what to do, Maury? - You bet I do.

We can't go barging to see Daisy with Rosco in there.

Wait a minute. Look over there.

Come here, Daisy.

We'll have to explain later...

but we gotta have that vase of flowers you took to work.

I don't have it anymore.

It's Cooter's birthday so I gave it to him.

- You gave flowers to a man? - Yeah.

That's what he said, just like that.

Let's get out of here.

- Thanks a lot, Daisy. - We appreciate it.

A lot.

Bye.

The Duke boys.

Doggone it, Flash.

When you see a Duke boy, you're supposed to go...

You're not paying attention.

Rosco is hanging tough today. He knows all our moves.

He ought to. He's been back watching us long enough.

It's time to show him a new wrinkle.

You know, it never would occur to me to do that.

Holy smoke.

That smarts.

- He looks alright. - Leave it to Rosco.

That was a horrendous crash.

That's the bigger horrendous crashes I've ever had.

I don't what he's doing in the Duke barn...

but I don't think...

he's in there visiting Maudine.

He might, 'cause that city boy...

ain't never seen no live mule.

Hey, Cletus.

Hi, Cooter.

Hey, looks like you got laryngitis or something.

Your lips are moving but I don't hear anything coming out.

I'm just figuring myself a way...

to ask Rosco for a raise.

Well, I know two ways.

First of all, you could beg and then, you can plead.

Yeah, that's about the size of it, too.

It's terrible. Have you seen the price of pork ribs lately?

- Yeah. - I gotta get myself a raise.

I wish I could give him something.

One time in school, I gave my teacher an apple.

She let me outta first grade.

- Miss Crumbly? - Miss Crumbly.

That won't work, though. Rosco don't like apples.

There's gotta be something.

What about flowers?

I don't think old Rosco will be too crazy about flowers.

They'd look great on his desk, though.

They would, but these flowers were given to me...

You know, Cooter, I bet these would work.

If you really think these flowers will get you...

a raise, you just be my guest and take them.

- Thanks. I appreciate it. - Well, sure thing.

You look good, too.

Now, I don't think that's gonna work.

- Flowers? You give me flowers? - Yep, it didn't.

Goldenrods! I tell you, I'm allergic to goldenrods.

- But, Sheriff... - You give women flowers.

- I'm sorry, Sheriff... - You give men manly things.

Like a bottle of citronella...

or maybe a nice pair of long johns...

or a real sexy pinup picture of Minnie Pearl.

Well, Sheriff, I want to give you a thoughtful gift...

so maybe you'd find it in your heart to see your way clear...

to give me a raise in salary.

- So, that's it, huh? - Yeah.

Shame on you, Cletus.

Thinking you could buy me with a bowl of posies.

Well, it just won't work.

What in tarnation is going on out here?

And what are you doing with them flowers?

These flowers are for you.

- For me? - Yeah.

I picked them myself.

Flowers?

- For men? - They aren't exactly for you.

I thought it was for your office.

I thought it'd make it sort of flowery.

Alright, that's different.

That's mighty thoughtful of you.

What's the catch?

Well, I thought, maybe...

you just might possibly find it in your heart...

- to give me a raise. - To give you a raise.

Yeah, I thought so. And the answer is, "No."

One, I don't keep my hard-earned cash in my heart.

And two, why ain't you and Cletus out there...

finding them Duke boys?

And with them, that vase.

Now, git!

You see, Cletus?

I told you, giving posies was a dumb way to get a raise.

Now, git!

It wasn't my fault. It was Cooter's idea.

Cooter!

What's up, y'all?

Trying to find out what you did with them flowers...

- Daisy gave you. - We need to see them.

Y'all came sneaking around here to ask me about flowers?

Y'all do realize that when they explain this...

they ain't gonna know no more than they did.

I gave them to Cletus.

You gave them flowers to Cletus?

It seemed like the right thing to do at the time.

I didn't know about no vase...

and the flowers covered up the vase anyway.

We can't just go waltzing into Rosco's office.

He'd lock us up.

Locking up. That's what I was doing when y'all showed up.

What you doing with that three-piece suit?

Old Stump Roundtree is gonna throw me a birthday barbecue.

That's right. It's your birthday.

Happy birthday, Cooter.

We should get going. We told Uncle Jesse we'd check in.

- We'll see you later. - Y'all holler if you need me.

Take care.

Happy birthday to me.

Wouldn't you know it.

Hello?

You and/or your family...

have in your possession a vase you recently purchased.

I want that vase, Mr. Duke.

I want it very badly.

- Who is this? - Don't talk. Just listen.

Your time to decide is short.

Now, if you refuse to turn the vase over to me...

your farm, I'm afraid, is expendable.

Now hold on a minute. Who is this, anyway?

And should you need proof of my intentions...

just wait a few minutes.

Hello?

Uncle Jesse, this here is Luke.

You got your ears on?

This has become a veritable communications center.

This is Shepherd. Where are you?

We're down by Cooter's. We're one step behind that vase.

Well, I just got a phone call about that. The man said...

Well, now we know what that fellow was doing in the barn.

- Uncle Jesse, you alright? - My farm was expendable.

Uncle Jesse, you still there?

Uncle Jesse!

- It sounds like trouble. - Let's go.

I don't get it, Mr. Beckman.

Why bring this Boss Hogg guy into this?

I've checked Mr. Jefferson Davis Hoggs...

credentials, Maury.

The mere sight or smell of a dollar sign...

makes the man completely bananas.

Come.

Well, Uncle Jesse, there's no question about who did this.

- As soon as I get my hands... - Now just a minute.

I know you're talking about J.D. and...

I know he's broken every rule in the Bible.

But even J.D. Hogg wouldn't stoop low enough...

to jeopardize life and limb over a dang vase.

- We ain't talking about J.D. - No, sir.

Talking about these two other guys.

Ain't from here. They're three-piece-suit types.

They seem to want that vase pretty bad themselves.

This pretty bad?

Sure, they took a shot at us.

Well, that's pretty bad.

I wonder what there could be about that old vase...

that somebody would go this far to get their hands on it.

I guess that died with old Simon Partridge.

Simon kept pretty good records, though.

We could find out where it came from.

- Might be. - It's worth a try.

- Let's get out of here. - Alright.

You boys be careful now.

- Now, wait a minute, Mr... - Beckman, sir.

You're saying that if I help you find the little vase...

you're looking for, you're offering me a $5,000 reward?

Call it a finder's fee, Mr. Hogg.

Yeah, finder's fee.

I just naturally assumed that you and the good Sheriff...

would be more capable of locating those Duke boys.

Yeah, we are. Without a doubt.

So then, I take it that this little crock...

is a mighty important piece of pottery.

Sir, let's just say this piece of pottery has a history.

Well, you know, finding something of that value...

ain't gonna be as easy as just looking under my nose.

I am sure that you, Mr. Hogg, will have no trouble at all.

Well, before I agree to your offer or disagree...

I need to know a little more of that crock's history.

It all began over 2,000 years ago with Cleopatra.

Cleopatra?

When she commissioned identical vases to be made...

the one intended for Mark Antony...

Mark Antony!

And the other for no less than Julius Caesar.

Do tell.

Meanwhile, Bo and Luke were getting more or less...

the same information out of old Simon's diary.

"According to that antique dealer in Canterbury...

"the vase of Cleopatra is supposed to bring...

good luck to whoever owns it."

"But the only good luck it brought me...

was finding a good woman like Emma.

"So I reckon it was worth the $6 I paid for it."

$6.

"Even though I figured that whole Cleopatra story...

"to be a bunch of hogwash."

Say, you don't suppose there's any chance...

that Cleopatra stuff could be true, do you?

Could be. If it is, that makes that vase...

worth a small fortune.

And to think I didn't even believe it was worth $25.

Why, you Duke boys are going to be rich.

Not us, ma'am. Even if we find it before Boss...

or them other fellows, we still figure it to be yours.

Besides, you need that money for the mortgage, don't you?

Bless you, boys.

You may change your mind about that. We ain't found it yet.

We better get going.

- Thanks a lot, ma'am. - Thank you.

You bet.

We're gonna have to ask Cletus what he done with it.

Ask Cletus? You forgetting Rosco's looking for us?

You heard of a flag of truce, ain't you?

- Do we have a deal, Mr. Hogg? - Indeed we do.

My services as well as the services...

of my civil servant who services me...

are at your service.

Charmingly put.

Except, instead of that $5,000 reward...

finder's fee...

I was thinking more in the neighborhood of $50,000.

That's blackmail, fat man.

No, Maury.

- No, Maury. - No, Maury.

The fault is entirely mine for having told Mr. Hogg...

the true value of the vase.

- Yeah. - Therefore, $50,000 it is.

$50,000, it is! You see that?

Alright. That's a deal, partner.

- Rosco. - What?

Get me that special bottle of elderberry wine...

I keep in the liquor locker.

My partner and I are gonna drink on this.

Elderberry wine. My goodness, my.

That doesn't go with your suit, now does it?

There's Cletus.

Take this paper to the courthouse and pay a fine.

That piece of paper you put in that barrel right over there.

- Jesus! - Don't let it happen again.

People ought to have more respect...

for property around here.

Well, Bo and Luke. Must be my lucky day.

- You're both under arrest. - Come on. Put that away.

- You gonna try anything? - No. Just put it away.

Okay.

I'm disappointed in you not honoring a white flag of truce.

Catching you two guys, with or without a white hanky...

just might get me a raise.

Have you seen the price of pork ribs these days?

- Now, march. - Hold on. Before we do that...

tell us what you did with that vase of flowers Cooter gave you?

Oh, that. Giving Rosco flowers wasn't such a great idea.

He didn't appreciate it.

He just hauled off and gave them to Cousin Boss.

Alright. That's enough chitchat. March.

- Pork ribs, 29 cents a pound. - 29 cents a pound!

Come back here, you guys!

You said you weren't gonna try anything.

We could walk and he wouldn't be able to catch us.

Let's duck around the church.

We can get to the General before he gets here.

Hold it!

Too many grits.

- You see him anywhere? - Nope.

Lose something?

Cletus, did we catch you or did you catch us?

More than one way to skin a cat.

We can keep our hands down, can't we?

Sheriff, look here what I done captured.

Cousin Boss hears this, he'll give me a raise?

Wrong. In this office, you don't get paid by the arrest.

If that were the case, you'd owe us money.

Now, I'll take over and you get to work behind that desk.

- But, Sheriff... - Don't "but" me, Cletus.

Listen, I gave you a direct order.

Flash over there obeys me faster than you do.

See? One false move and she will tear you limb from limb.

Now move into Boss' office.

- Alright. - Sheriff...

- Alright, we're moving. - I ain't pushing you.

- Alright. - Look who I done captured.

You came through like a lawman should.

- Well done. - I appreciate it.

This could mean a possible raise for you.

- A possible raise? - Possible, but not probable.

Well, how's that for fast work, sir?

When I say I'll deliver the Duke boys, I deliver.

Gentlemen, I'll mince no words with you.

We want that vase and we want it now.

We don't have it but we do know where we can...

- get our hands on it. - You do, huh?

- As soon as we work a deal. - What kind of deal?

Drop them phony counterfeit charges against me and Bo.

Then you tear up the mortgage for...

the Widow Partridge's farm.

The whole... Alright, done. Is that all?

No, not quite. We want enough money to fix our barn.

I'll give you enough money to fix up two barns!

Where's the little crock?

- On your word of honor, Boss? - On my word of honor!

- Now, the crock, where is it? - It's right under your nose.

- There you go. - There it is.

Alright, Rosco. Lock up them Duke boys.

- What? - Wait a minute.

But, Boss, you gave your word of honor.

Yeah, but did I say, "Cross my heart and hope to die"?

You didn't say, "Cross your heart and hope to die."

- Yeah. Lock them up! - Maury.

Nobody move.

I regret the necessity of relieving you of my vase.

- Your vase? - My vase.

But we're partners. You promised.

Yeah, but did I say, "Cross my heart and hope to die"?

He's right, Boss. He didn't say, "Cross..."

It's his vase.

You know, I figure, as bad a shot as that fellow is...

he'll probably hit the vase.

- Thank you, Maury. - If you will face that wall.

- Yeah. - Sure.

- You bet. - Yes, sir.

Boss.

- Good day, gentlemen. - Good day.

Double-crosser!

And now we shall take our leave of you, gentlemen.

Should any of you be foolhardy enough to come after us...

too soon, Maury here will shoot the first one...

who comes through that door.

I have no place to go right this moment.

It's nice in here.

- Alright, Rosco, after them. - Are you kidding?

He said he'd shoot the first body out that door.

I wonder where Cletus is when I need him.

- No, you, after him. - No, after you, Boss.

- Don't be so polite. - After you.

Alright, you're safe now, fraidy cat.

They're getting away. Come on.

Come on, let's go!

Stop scratching yourself and lock up them Duke boys.

Get them out! Rosco, let's go get them double-crossers.

They're probably in Nashville now!

- Get in there. - Alright. Now, come on around.

Come on. Did you see which way they went?

Alright, gents. Immediate seating is available.

Step this way like nice little prisoners.

I hope you're proud of yourself.

- What do you mean? - It was a heck of an idea.

Cletus, you ever know me to have a heck of an idea?

I smell a good old Duke shuck and jive.

Come on, let's argue inside the cell, alright?

It was your idea to run away from him.

How you gonna run away from a gazelle like Cletus?

- Gazelle? - Gazelle?

Gazelle.

Cletus, don't put me in the same cell with him, alright?

Put me downstairs. I'm liable to take his head off.

Take my head off? Why don't you try it?

Alright!

Don't try to break this...

I'm sorry. I got carried away. I forgive you your stupidity.

Thinking about it, I forgive you your stupidity, too.

Alright. Let's go.

Y'all pay attention while we figure out who's chasing who.

Now, that's them city dudes that took the vase from Boss.

Come on, after them, those dirty double-crossers.

That's Boss and Rosco who took the vase...

from Bo and Luke pursuing them...

who's pursuing both them cars.

And poor old Cletus bringing up the rear...

pursuing whatever I left out.

The Sheriff's on our tail, Mr. Beckman.

This is Dep. Cletus.

Afraid I got disturbing news for you all.

The Duke boys escaped.

How can you let the Duke boys escape, you dipstick?

Give me that. Cletus, never mind the Duke boys.

We got other fish to fry. Now, do this.

You break off and get yourself over to Dry Creek Road...

and you set up a roadblock for them...

fancy-pants city slickers driving a black and green car.

I don't know about this car, Mr. Beckman.

Turn off at the next intersection, Maury.

We'll get to the county line from the other side.

That's it, Rosco. We're gaining on them.

Yeah, we're gaining.

That man is smart.

He's probably trying to cut across the county line...

at Rock River Road.

- Uncle Jesse, got your ears on? - Just hold it.

Uh, this is Shepherd. Come on.

Them fellers that blew the barn...

are gonna cut across the county line...

at Rock River Road, Willets Corners.

Can you set up a roadblock over that way?

Consider it done. We're off.

- Come on, Daisy. - Okay.

We're overheating. We'll never shake them now.

Then we have no choice, Maury...

but to get a car that is not overheating.

Just do as I say when we go around that next curve.

There's someone in the road! Stop!

Rosco, is he dead?

On the contrary, Mr. Hogg, he's very much alive.

Come, Maury, we have a healthy car now.

Over there, gentlemen.

Dang!

Boss, what are we gonna do now?

We sure can't catch them in that thing.

- Look. - What?

Looks like we're gonna take them Duke's car...

the same way yours got took, won't we?

Is he dead?

On the contrary, he's very much alive.

On the contrary.

Now, come on, Rosco. Now we got the faster car.

Now, ain't that just like Hazzard?

Just about time I get things straight...

everybody's changed cars.

Now after them from now.

I've got the pedal to the metal.

Come on. There they go. Don't lose them.

Nobody's gonna catch us with that vase now, Mr. Beckman.

The vase! We left it in the other car!

Turn this around quickly.

- Now where are they going? - Follow them and we'll know.

Look who's coming back this way.

Yeah, the question is, why?

Looks like they forgot something.

We got it and they don't.

- What are we gonna do? - Drive.

- In this thing? - As far as it takes us.

How long you reckon that radiator can last?

Of course, it ain't one of them there dinky foreign jobs.

- You know how to drive this? - I'm doing good. I'm good.

Well, you ain't doing as good as the Duke boys do.

Here they come.

What's Bo and Luke driving that dang car for?

I don't know.

Watch my truck, you idiot.

That wasn't Rosco in the Sheriff's car.

No, they're driving the General Lee.

Let's go!

Now, Uncle Jesse, he don't know who to chase.

So he's just following the smoke.

Old Cletus never could get the hang of roadblocks.

You get the feeling we're leading some sort of a parade?

Yeah, but not for much longer. The way that radiator...

is acting, we won't make it up this hill.

Maybe they ought to set up a roadblock.

- What happened? - What are you doing here?

No! Don't go backwards!

Rosco! Stop this thing!

Don't go off the road whatever you do.

Hang on.

Good thing nobody's driving a semi.

Good...

Rosco, go get them.

Okay, hold it right there.

I'll cuff you and stuff you.

- Come on, Boss. - I'm coming.

Alright, you double-crosser. You hand over that vase.

And I mean now.

- You mean this one? - Yeah.

I'll be taking that. Cletus, arrest them Duke boys.

- You're under arrest. - Just hold on, Cletus.

Them boys has got just as much right to that vase as anybody.

It's theirs legally.

That's right. We paid for it in cash...

from the Widow Partridge.

She'd testify in court to that, too.

I'll buy it back off of you.

- Okay, how much? - Name your price.

We'll need cash this time.

It's gotta be worth more.

$1,000.

- $2,000. - $5,000.

You wanna stay out of this? It's between us Hazzard folk.

$2,000 ought to cover the mortgage and the damage...

to the barn and drop all charges against me and Bo.

Yeah, agreed.

Plus an additional $50,000 that will take care of...

Widow Partridge for the rest of her life.

$50,000? You out of your mind?

$2,000, and not a penny more.

Just wait a minute, Boss.

That dang vase is worth a fortune.

And my price to you now, sir, is $100,000.

- Agreed. - Agreed? Agreed!

You hear that, Rosco?

He agreed for $100,000 for this little dumb vase.

Oh, no!

On second thought, $2,000 sounds about right to me.

$2,000. That's good.

That's a mess. Boss, I don't know what to say.

Save it for my eulogy, Rosco...

'cause I think I'm about to kill myself.

You!

Right this way, gentlemen.

After all the commotion them two caused...

they figured to stand trial for something.

Boss tried to talk the Dukes...

into giving him back his money.

But less the cost of the new barn...

the Widow Partridge was the one that they gave it to...

which took care of the mortgage.

One... and here's another.

And I got some change for you.

Okay. Change. Right.

- Thank you. - And here's your deed.

The mortgage.

- You. - What?

I'm gonna figure out what you owe me.

- What I owe you? - Let me see now.

Now, Boss figured it'd take about 175 years...

for Rosco to pay off that vase...

if he gave him a raise, which he didn't.

- You see that. - What?

And that, friends, is what happens in Hazzard County...

when they have a garage sale...

just to pay off a little old mortgage.

You ought to see what happens...

when they try to raise money to build a church.