Original subtitles

On The Dukes

Reporter Daisy Duke uncovers her first scandal.

And guess who's it.

Be careful, Luke.

Why don't you go fry yourself a snowball?

- Hang on, Luke. - Come on.

- What is that? - Over and out.

No, look out!

♪ Just'a good ol' boys ♪

♪ Never meanin' no harm ♪

♪ Beats all you never saw Been in trouble with the law ♪

♪ Since the day they was born ♪

♪ Staightnin' the curves ♪

♪ Flatnin' the hills ♪

♪ Someday the mountain might get 'em but the law never will ♪

♪ Makin' their way ♪

♪ The only way they know how ♪

♪ That's just a little bit more Than the law will allow ♪

♪ Just'a good ol' boys ♪

♪ Wouldn't change if they could ♪

♪ Fightin' the system like a true modern day Robin Hood ♪

When you see the Duke boys poke along

like they ain't got a care in the world...

things on the farm are about to change.

'Cause Dukes and trouble go together

like cornbread and buttermilk.

What a day!

Come on, hurry up!

Get on board here. Hurry up, before the owner gets here.

In the big city, robbers steal something they can tote.

But in Hazzard they think big. Like a tractor.

Okay, let's get our tails out of here.

You don't want to sit around all day.

I can't hardly wait to get over to Cotton Lake.

Cooter says them catfish were getting harder

than barflies at the Boars Nest.

Better give that truck some horn...

or Cooter will be fishing us out of Sutter's Pond.

Come on, guys!

Boy, you near tore that car in half.

You want me to go back and try again?

- Dang it. - Really!

Them turkeys didn't even give an inch.

They didn't stop to see what kind of trouble they caused.

I can tell you right now. They picked a poor spot for fishing.

Meanwhile, Daisy was cooking on a moonlighting job...

that she'd taken at the Hazzard Gazette.

I know I'm not a real reporter or typist

there's some "E's" and "O's" missing...

'cause the typewriter at the farm's at least 20 years old.

"Mabel Horton's chicken laid a five-yolk egg"?

Yes! Can you believe that? And I got it first. A scoop.

"Sy Meeker got laryngitis and withdrew

from the county hog-calling contest."

And Ed Purty wants to swap his rooster that crows at 4 a.m...

for one that crows at 5 a.m. which I can understand.

I understand you're not a professional reporter.

You're just contributing items to make a little extra money...

So I can take the correspondence school's modeling course...

for when I'm on stage with my singing career.

I appreciate your ambitiousness, but at $8 an item...

I'm gonna need something with a little more bite to it.

Okay.

I'll tell you what, I'll pay you for these items.

But you go over to the Boars Nest and find out...

what the emergency town meeting's about. You hear?

I'm gone. Forgot the tools of the trade.

I'm sorry. Bye.

The town meeting at the Boars Nest...

was about the large amount of tractor stealing in Hazzard.

There goes another.

This is like shooting fish in a barrel.

And after the town meeting was over...

Miss Daisy decided to do an in-depth interview.

Just like on TV.

It sure was nice of you, Jesse, speaking up for me like that.

I wasn't speaking up for you.

I was just keeping some friends out of trouble, that's all.

- Say "Grits." - Grits!

- What's that for? - Hazzard Gazette.

Listen Daisy, if you're gonna take my picture...

take the left profile, that's my best...

Clam up, dodo. What've you got to do with the Hazzard Gazette?

I'm moonlighting as a contributing reporter.

Can you tell me if you have any information on these crooks?

Unless you stop poking your nose into official police business...

your moonlighting job ain't gonna

have a sun-lighting job here to go with it.

Do you hear me?

Come on, we got more important things to take care of.

You coming?

Come on.

Come on, get on out of here.

That's three. Them boys do move fast.

Why are we taking tractors from kin and neighbors...

of the County of Hazzard?

- We ain't doing that at all. - We ain't?

No siree, Bob, we ain't.

- What are we doing? - I'll tell you what.

I'm merely correcting a previous professional, financial error.

That's what I'm doing.

I hear you clucking, but I can't find the nest.

I'll make it plain and simple so you will understand.

- I'd appreciate that. - Listen.

I loaned them the money to buy them tractors seven years ago...

when interest rates were low.

Now that they're high, I'm losing a good 15% a year.

So I'm taking back them tractors to recoup my losses.

Ain't that illegal? I mean...

It's perfectly legal. I'm borrowing back my own money.

- It's what you call reloaning. - Reloaning.

- Look at that. Not even a pound. - Not one.

And I gotta lose at least 20 for my life insurance.

You gonna leave Lulu your life insurance?

Lulu? Of course not.

Rosco, I'm the only man living who's his own beneficiary.

I'm taking it with me.

The way I see it

it's gonna be up to us to find them tractor thieves...

before folks around here get all riled up...

and start taking the law into their own hands.

Now, what we got...

Daisy, what are you doing?

I'm listening and typing up my story, Uncle Jesse.

That can wait until we get an ending to the story.

Speaking of endings, I wouldn't be a bit surprised...

that when this story winds down we find Boss Hogg there.

Old Boss don't like no outside crime coming into Hazzard.

So we know what we gotta do now. Here's how it's gonna come down.

Cooter, you and me are gonna go around

keep our eyes peeled for any strangers.

I'll interview the farms that got robbed

and see if I can get any information.

You do that.

Bo, you and Luke go hire yourselves out

to some people who ain't been robbed yet.

Sooner or later, them thieves have gotta

come snooping around those tractors.

- Yes, sir. - Alrighty.

Listen, Boss...

I hate to keep harping on this...

but about those tractors...

Daisy's gonna trace those tractors right to us.

No, Daisy Duke ain't gonna be able to trace nothing.

I mean, tractors ain't like autos.

Once you rub the serial numbers off

you can't tell one from the other.

Maybe so, but listen...

she is desperate to get a story for the Gazette.

Who cares about Daisy Duke and her story for the Gazette?

I don't care.

I do.

Then I do, too.

Come the right time...

we're gonna give Daisy Duke her story for the Gazette.

Wonderful! We're gonna arrest ourselves.

Rosco...

you know, if you had a brain, you'd be downright dangerous.

What we're gonna do...

is pin the whole thing on Daisy Duke's own kin.

You mean Bo and Luke Duke.

I didn't think of that. Where'd you get these ideas?

Rosco, don't leave me here.

The search began.

Jesse and Cooter both scouring the countryside.

Daisy digging with pad and pencil.

Bo and Luke just digging and digging

like they're just digging to be digging.

Luke, I think...

we can put fences around half of Hazzard before we find them.

Look at it this way. We learned ourselves a trade.

Always looking on the bright side.

You got it.

Hey, Luke, look at that.

Those are the same guys.

I don't know but we ain't hanging around to find out.

Ain't that them two fellas that run us off the road?

If this starts you best take it easy. This ain't the General.

We ain't got time to get to the General.

Come on, baby.

Alright.

I think they'd do better if they'd saddled up the cow.

No sign of them.

Reckon they know what we got in the back?

- Possible. - If they do...

we're gonna have a hard time outrunning them in this.

That's a real bright observation.

I didn't figure we was. That's why I picked the Ridge Road.

Can't you get this thing to go any faster?

I've got both feet to the floor, and I'm looking for more.

- It don't go no faster. - Alright.

There's the truck.

What's it doing sitting in the middle of the road, though?

It ain't sitting in the road, it's heading right towards us.

I don't know. What would y'all do?

Well, Luke..

This ain't the place to be.

- You alright? - Yeah, a little dizzy, though.

How about you?

I feel like I just went a couple of rounds on the losing end.

You know, I'm so mad I could chew nails.

If I get my hands on them, I'll turn them every way but loose.

And we thought they was bad to the General.

You mean to tell me you ain't got no idea

why they ran you all off the road?

Well, the way we figured it...

they must've thought we was a mite upset...

about them running us off the road this morning.

You mean to tell me they did it twice in one day?

Cooter, don't rub it in.

It's better to be rubbed in than rubbed out, brother.

J. D. HOGG - COUNTY COMMISSIONER Cletus!

- Where in tarnation is my lunch? - Right here, Cousin Boss.

Cousin Lulu just wheelbarrowed it over here.

What're you doing here now?

Get back to your speed trap and earn your keep.

No tip, just a trap?

What you got in there?

I got celery, scallions, lettuce and half a carrot stick.

Rabbit food, not Hogg food.

You chubby little rascal. You got a pie hidden in there.

There's no pie in this.

I'm really putting myself through some punishment.

I sure hope it's worth it.

It is 'cause you're fat.

Rosco, Boss, we gotta talk to y'all.

Get out of here before you curdle my lunch.

Alright. Rosco ain't eating. We'll talk to him.

I was just going out to lunch.

We're here to tell you somebody stole Len Hickey's tractor.

- How do you know? - We were just there, Boss.

The guys that stole it are probably the same ones

that ran us off the Ridge Road.

Is that a fact?

Have you got a description of the truck?

Rosco, how did you know it was a truck?

What Rosco means is it's hardly likely...

that anybody's gonna carry off a tractor...

using a jeep, auto or kiddie car.

You see, that's just plain police logic.

No pie!

Besides, we don't know if there really was a truck.

- What's that supposed to mean? - Nothing.

Except, you know, there's a good possibility...

that these Dukes made up this story out of whole cloth

just to cover their tracks.

Boss, you ain't insinuating...

I ain't insinuating nothing, I'm stating.

And I'm asking myself here...

if he might not just investigate these strange circumstances...

of you boys being at the scene of the crime.

Why don't you go fry yourself a snowball?

We'll find them crooks ourselves.

Shoot a bug. Come the right time, I might do that myself.

- What do you mean by that, Boss? - You'll find out.

Now, you just get out of here.

And you let me eat this excuse for a lunch in peace.

I can't believe it.

Just can't believe it.

How are you, Charlie?

Them two, they gotta be as low as a snake's belly

in a wagon rut.

They're looking for someone to take the blame.

Me and Bo are always the most likely candidates.

Boss Hogg's just blowing off steam.

Ain't no way he can pin this on us.

If there's a way, he's gonna find it.

I think we're obliged to find them fellas in that truck.

We gotta do it fast.

Cooter and I will cover everything

on the other side of Deer Springs.

You fellas take everything on this side.

What am I supposed to do?

There's information floating around the Boars Nest.

You get to keep all the secrets you can overhear, right?

- I'll check with you later. - Yes, sir.

You be careful now.

Charley, have you seen...

Will you watch what you doing?

- Here we go. - Come on, let's git.

Look. The guys who ran us off the road.

Come on, let's go.

Cletus! Just what we need.

You never can tell. We can use all the help we can get.

Looks like our company's got company.

I got ears. I thought those cops was working for us.

No, just the sheriff himself.

Let's not stick around and explain to his helper.

Rattle some slats, boy.

They're gaining on us.

Let's give them our reverse field running.

Now, Boss had put Cletus on a ticket quota.

And if he fell short, it came out of his paycheck.

So no amount of pleading or explaining by Bo and Luke...

about who they was chasing or why...

was gonna have any effect on old Cletus.

The Duke boys...

breathing down our necks every time we turn around.

You get them out of our way, or we will, Boss...

permanently.

Wait a minute. There's no need for violence.

No siree, them Duke boys are gonna be took care of.

The only thing we're gonna have to do...

is temporarily sacrifice that last tractor you took.

And the truck it's in.

Wait a minute, Boss. Let me ask you something.

Listen...

if we put those Duke boys in the slammer...

how we gonna take any more tractors?

I didn't say put them in jail. Did I knucklehead?

We're gonna just let them stay on the loose

until we are all done.

All done.

- Would you look at that? - What?

I still ain't lost nothing.

In fact, you gained a little half pound here.

And all them carrots I've been eating...

Alright. Now, you listen.

This is what you're going to do.

Bo! Luke! Answer the phone!

Hello, Rodney.

Anybody get the phone?

Hello?

This is a friend of Bo and Luke's. A little advice.

For their own good

they better get rid of what's behind the Duke barn...

before law gets here.

Who is this anyway?

That does it.

It's all coming together now.

Just like flapjacks and molasses.

Don't bring them up. Please.

Oh, I'm sorry fat little buddy.

Holy mackerel! That looks like Len Hickey's tractor.

Bo! Luke!

- Find anything, Uncle Jesse? - Back here.

Right here in our own backyard. Look at that.

And there's our truck.

And one of the tractors, too.

How the heck did it get behind our barn?

It has Boss Hogg written all over it.

That means that JD's right in the middle of this whole thing.

Looking to get us caught with all the goods.

Wouldn't be the first time.

What are we waiting for?

- Let's get rid of it. - I'll get the door.

Alright, everybody.

It's time for the other call.

I love it. I just love it.

Operator, give me the Boars Nest. Bar.

Boars Nest. Yes, Daisy speaking.

Sure, hold on.

- Sheriff! - What is it?

Got a telephone call.

Must really be important to call me out here.

Rosco P. Coltrane here.

How's that?

Those tractor thieves done struck again?

Well, isn't that a shame?

What all did they get?

They got a truck and a tractor?

That's terrible.

I'm on my way.

Truck and a tractor.

- She bite? - Did she bite?

Hook, line and crawdad.

Hello, Mabel?

Yes, get me Mr. Clyde Amos at the Hazzard Gazette.

And hurry Mabel, it's real important.

You get out there and call Cletus.

Tell him to watch the Duke farm and then report to us.

Right.

- Don't tell him why. - No.

He's from the stupid part of my family.

Just starts blabbing to everybody.

Yeah, stupid.

And when he does report, I'll go out there with you.

- Go on, get going! - I'm going.

Alright, I had enough of this.

I'll get dressed and get out of here.

I can't get out. I'm stuck.

I'm stuck!

I start out in a steam box, I end up in an electric chair.

- Where are you gonna take it? - As far from here as we can.

I'll follow you in the General Lee so you have a ride back.

We'll go on the main road as far as Hidden Pines...

and cut off the road from there.

- I'll be right behind. - Yes, sir.

Maybe we can sneak it back to Len Hickey.

Cletus Hogg calling...

Deputy Cletus Hogg calling Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane.

The Dukes boys just shot out of there like a wad of buckshot.

This is Sheriff Rosco.

Listen, which way were they headed?

Come back.

Hidden Pines.

That's a 10-4. Now listen, Cletus...

now you stay on their tail but stay loose as a goose.

We're gonna box them in like a new pair of boots.

I'm going. Bye.

I tell you, Boss. We got them. We got them now. I can't wait.

Alright, slow down. Just slow down.

We don't want to lose that star witness behind us.

She wants to be a reporter, so let's let her report.

Let her report.

Sure got something you can dig your teeth into this time.

This thing might even get you a by-line.

If it's all the same to you, I could use cash.

I'd sure like to get my hands on Boss and Rosco.

Don't look like you'll have to wait too long.

My guess is that's them headed this way.

Uncle Jesse, this here is Luke.

We got Boss and Rosco knocking on our front door.

Forget the back door. Enos just closed it.

You boys got any ideas on how to get out of this mess?

The only way I can see is do a little square dance.

- I'll do the calling. - Square dancing?

Hold your partner close and tight.

Do-si-do with all your might.

And I'll swing left and you swing right.

Let's do it.

Buzzards on a buzz saw.

Truck's getting away.

Not with my by-line and my modeling course money, it ain't.

Cletus, you idiot!

Mr. Amos, wanna reach back there and hand me that bow and arrow?

Right. Bow and arrow?

Bo and Luke have been teaching me how to use it.

Might as well put to practice what I learned.

You take this wheel and hold it steady.

Alright.

- Got it? - Got it.

At least we got rid of Boss and Rosco.

That we did.

Now if we can just figure out what the heck Daisy is up to.

Daisy don't do that.

Daisy!

You know, it just dawned on me. Daisy don't know who's driving.

- Hang on, Luke. - Bull's eye!

We did it.

- Go get them. - We'll get them.

- Come on, hurry. - Alright there.

- We got you. - Freeze!

Alright. Get out of there.

- This is it. - Come on now. Get out of there.

Put your hands up. Put 'em up.

Rosco, Cletus, get out of the way, please.

Bo! Luke!

JD, if you think these boys have taken to stealing tractors...

you're crazy now.

Put your paddle back in the water, Jesse.

This truck they were driving speaks for itself.

Alright, you boys...

get over there to General Lee, put your hands on the hood.

I'll keep an eye on them.

No! You keep your eyes glued on the truck.

Alright, everybody, gather round.

I want to interrogate you as witnesses.

- No time like the present. - Wanna drive?

Did you or did you not see this here truck...

trying to escape the lawful pursuit of the sheriff?

I want each one of you to answer, and remember...

it's the same as if you were under oath.

- Now... - Look there. They're escaping.

Alright. Not too fast now. We don't wanna catch them.

We don't?

No. We just want to mark them as "wanted men."

- He gaining on us? - No.

I know this sounds wild and crazy

but just slow down, will you?

Do it.

They're slowing down. What do you want me to do?

Slow down yourself, dodo.

Just like I figured. He slowed up, too.

Why the heck you think they're doing that?

Let her rip now. The way he figures... Drive, okay?

Alright.

If he's stealing tractors, he ain't quite through.

He don't want his pigeons comin home to roost.

There he goes, he's gonna escape.

Alright. Let him.

This part of my plan is working just beautiful.

Now, lets turn around and go back.

Turn around and go back.

Mr. Amos, you can't print those pictures.

Bo and Luke are innocent.

We told you everything, just like it happened.

Them boys was set up.

Look, folks, I know just how you feel.

No, you don't. I took those pictures of my own kin.

Now you're gonna turn it around and throw them in jail.

Daisy, newspaper folks are neither judge nor jury.

We just report things the way they happen.

But things didn't happen the way they happened.

At least they didn't happen the way they happened

to look like they happened.

I'm sorry, Jesse.

But I'm not gonna destroy these pictures.

Now we got eight hours to press time.

If you can prove that these pictures lie

then I won't have to print them.

That's the best I can do. You've got eight hours.

- Eight hours. - We can do it.

Now, eight hours didn't seem like no whole lot of time

to Jesse and Daisy to prove Bo and Luke's innocence.

But the boys weren't letting any grass

grow under their feet.

Not that high up anyway.

Alright.

You'll be getting five tractors at the end of the week.

Right. That's good.

I know I promised six, but one's being used for evidence.

You'll find out. You just bring the money

we'll bring the merchandise.

You know the time and place.

Well, hang up, he's off. That's it.

- What do you see? - Two guys from the truck.

Right. Boss is in on it, alright.

Hey, pull me up. They're coming out.

- All six, right? - No, two of them.

They want six of them.

Well, come on, boy.

The smoothest thing I ever seen...

The boys are off and running.

And the Hazzard Gazette clock is running.

But for Daisy and Uncle Jesse...

time was standing still

while they pondered on what to do next.

We just gotta do something.

There ain't much we can do until we hear from Bo and Luke.

Maybe we can try them on the radio again.

I've been trying for the last hour.

Try again.

HOTEL

Shepherd to Lost Sheep. You got your ears on?

Yeah, we got our ears on...

and eyes peeled.

We're sitting across from that hotel

where them crooks are hid out at.

Somehow I get the feeling there ain't much room

for tractors up there.

Seems to me the only way you boys gonna clear yourselves...

is get them tractors, the thieves

and Boss Hogg all together at one time.

Pretty much what I was thinking.

I got a notion about how to do that, too. Where you at?

At Cooter's. Where did you say you was?

Just around the corner. I'll be there in a minute.

I'd appreciate it if you'd keep your eyes on the hotel...

instead of the girls walking by.

If I could do that, I wouldn't be a Duke.

We've only got four hours left.

That's why we make Boss move up his time schedule.

Daisy, you call over to the hotel.

Tell them dudes that Boss has changed plans.

He wants the merchandise delivered

to the buyer within the hour.

You know where they'll meet the buyer?

No, but they do, see?

Cooter, you cut her about 15 minutes slack...

and then you go convince Boss...

that these two guys split town real sudden like.

And Boss'll think they're ripping him off.

With a suspicious mind like his

he'll be after them in two minutes.

And we follow him to the meeting place...

And I get pictures of the real crooks.

Don't count your chickens, though.

Okay.

I guess I'll get ahold of Mabel first.

Anybody who believes it's gonna be that smooth...

would buy beachfront property in Tennessee.

But Daisy's phone call to Boss' confederates...

worked like a charm to start with.

And Bo and Luke followed their lead.

Meanwhile, Cooter was telling Boss

the two friends at the hotel...

had skipped town without paying their bill.

Almost gave Boss apoplexy, or something like that.

Did you hear that? If what Cooter says is true...

them two boys of ours left town bag and baggage.

- Why would they do that? - Why?

I asked you first.

Because, lamebrain, they're gonna try to double-cross me.

Come on, I gotta go change quick, so we can go after them.

- I can't go with this bill here. - Come here and help me.

Better get going, don't wanna lose them again.

You two thieves, hold it right there.

Like I said, it ain't gonna be easy.

You got this all wrong.

Mr. Perkins, you're making a big mistake.

No mistake.

I heard the sheriff's got a warrant out for your arrest...

and proof that you two are the tractor thieves.

Now, you boys get on over by my truck...

- while I use your CB to call. - Yes, we will, sir.

Sheriff Coltrane. How does this doggone thing work?

Sheriff Coltrane, farmer Perkins here.

- Mr. Perkins, your truck. - Better give us a hand.

Well, stop it. Stop it before it rolls down the hill.

Thank you, boys. I appreciate it.

You better jump in there and check the emergency brake.

Make sure it's working.

- Perkins, don't forget your gun. - Keys.

BOARS NEST - BEER

Where's my driver? Alright, you drive.

Okay.

- Where are we going? - The old livery stable.

They'd have to go there first.

- We're going. - Come on.

DIXIE

RIDGE ROAD - CEDAR CITY FINCHBURG - ELDERBERRY LANE

Shoot, we lost them.

I can find out where they are.

Daisy, this here is Luke. You read me?

Daisy, come back.

Static.

It's about time to teach you more about electronics.

Yeah, I know it.

There it is.

Little Bo Peep to all the sheep, turn to Shepherd's channel.

Fox and The Bear headed towards Wild Hollow.

Hang loose, fellas, we don't want to scare them off.

I repeat, Boss and Rosco are headed towards Wild Hollow.

Don't scare them off, fellas. Little Bo Peep, over and out.

That sounds like the old livery stable.

Bo and Luke, this is Shepherd. Did you read that?

We better get on down the road.

- Here we are, Boss. - They're gone.

All my tractors are in the truck.

That's naughty. Those sneaking lowlife crooks.

Probably gonna sell them to my buyer.

Probably.

Alright. Dry Creek Road and Willow Corners. Come on.

We're going.

Stinking lowlifes.

Fixing that loose wire ought to take care of things.

They just left the livery stable on Bent Oak Road...

headed towards Willow Corners.

- How's that for timing? - Not too bad.

We read you loud and clear. We're gone.

Alright, come on, will you?

- There they are! - I see them.

Cut them off, Rosco, cut them off!

Alright, come on out. You dirty double-crossers!

Y'all pay attention 'cause things are fixing

to come to a head.

While Boss and Rosco was accusing Vic and Corey...

of trying to double-cross them...

Vic and Corey tried to explain

they were just following Boss' orders.

They didn't know that they was all on candid camera...

and that the Hazzard cavalry was about to charge.

If you'd calm down, Boss, we got a message to get going.

And I never sent no such message.

No, he didn't send no such message, did you, Boss?

I just said I didn't, didn't I, pea brain?

- Somebody sent it, Boss. - Hold on a minute there.

Y'all hear some kind of clicking noise?

Yeah, right over there.

Daisy Duke.

Well, don't just stand here posing for her.

Let's grab that camera.

The Dukes always were ones for cutting it close.

There she goes. Come on.

Come back here, Daisy.

Dang, blast it.

Rosco, get me up, will you?

There she goes. After her!

Get the camera.

Ain't that Daisy something?

Dropping the camera in Boss' own car...

was one way of making sure he didn't catch her with it.

Now how do you reckon she's gonna get it back?

Bo, Luke, got your ears on?

Right here, cousin. What you got?

I'm on Rocky Ridge Road with Boss and his cronies

right behind me.

The camera is on the floor in the back of Boss' car.

Keep them flying but head them down Shady Tree Lane. Got it?

10-4, honey. I'm gone.

Uncle Jesse, this is Bo and Luke...

We could use a little interference on the competition.

You know what to do.

You got yourself Saturday night in town.

Hold it steady.

Be careful now. You ain't no squirrel.

Now don't go nodding off now, Grandpa

or you'll miss all the fun.

'Cause while Boss and his gang was chasing Daisy...

Jesse and Cooter were cutting into line,

running interference for Bo and Luke.

Or something like that.

Get out of my way, Jesse! Coming through here!

Be careful, Luke.

What is that? Luke Duke!

The camera!

The camera!

You think that's something?

You ought to see the Hazzard High basketball team.

They play in cars, too.

- Here's your camera, Daisy. - Thanks!

Throw it here.

I got the camera!

That's real good, Boss, but I got the film.

Now hold it steady, Bo.

- Did you get it, Bo? - I got it.

We gotta get them doors open one of these days.

Well done!

Hazzard County Gazette - Hi, y'all. - Hi.

Here's the headline.

TRACTOR THIEVES CAUGHT

That was Daisy's first headline.

It cost Boss about $5,000 in contributions

to the Hazzard County orphanage...

not to have his picture shown with Vic and Corey

who went to jail.

Bo and Luke were cleared of all charges

and Boss managed to put on five pounds.

All that exercise gave him some kind of an appetite.

But one thing was working, Boss' Celebrity Speed Trap.

And this time it nailed Miss Dottie West.

♪ Look at me I've been caught ♪

♪ By a heart-thieving outlaw like you ♪

♪ And couldn't escape When you hold me this way ♪

♪ If I wanted to ♪

♪ Now you're a dangerous lover I tried to run for cover ♪

♪ I didn't get too far ♪

♪ 'Cause when I started to run ♪

♪ That's when you pulled a gun on my heart ♪

♪ But even if you were Jesse James ♪

♪ I still want to ride this train ♪

♪ And even join up with your gang If you let me ♪

♪ I'd saddle right up Follow my heart ♪

♪ I'd live with you, baby Out under the stars ♪

♪ Just want to be wherever you are 'Cause I love you ♪

♪ You just can't cut me loose ♪

♪ So you might as well take me along ♪

♪ I could live off the land ♪

♪ I'm a good right hand And I'm signing on ♪

♪ So don't put up a fight Just think about the nights ♪

♪ They won't be all that bad ♪

♪ I'll be your lover and the best sidekick you ever had ♪

♪ 'Cause even if you were Jesse James ♪

♪ I still want to ride this train ♪

♪ And even join up with your gang If you let me ♪

♪ I'd saddle right up Follow my heart ♪

♪ And live with you, baby Out under the stars ♪

♪ Just wanna be wherever you are 'Cause I love you ♪

♪ I just gotta be wherever you are 'Cause I love you♪♪

Alright, Cletus, you tear up that ticket right now.

It'll be my pleasure.

Miss West, would you be so kind as to autograph my ticket book?

Sure, just as soon as you tell me why I've been arrested.

'Cause you violated Traffic Ordinance Number 1...

which has been on the book since 1903.

I never heard of that.

I thought maybe you didn't, so look

I brought here a book of every ordinance.

Here we are, Traffic Ordinance Number 1:

"No person shall drive a horseless carriage"...

and that means an automobile,

"through the streets of Hazzard...

"unless preceded by a man six feet ahead of said vehicle...

"waving a red lantern."

Come on, Boss.

How come I never heard of anything that important?

And another thing. It ain't very flattering...

to be working off a traffic ticket

when you're not even charging admission.

Don't you worry your pretty head about that, Dottie.

I may have let them in free...

but I'm charging them $10 a piece to get out.

Ain't it nice to know there's a place in this world

where things never change?