Original subtitles

♪ Just a-good old boys ♪

THE DUKES OF HAZZARD

♪ Never meanin' no harm ♪

♪ Beats all you never saw ♪

♪ Been in trouble with the law ♪

♪ Since the day they was born ♪

♪ Straightenin' the curves ♪

♪ Flattenin' the hills ♪

♪ Some day the mountain might get 'em ♪

♪ But the law never will ♪

♪ Makin' their way ♪

♪ The only way they know how ♪

♪ That's just a little bit more ♪

♪ Than the law will allow ♪

♪ Just a-good old boys ♪

♪ Wouldn't change if they could ♪

♪ Fightin' the system ♪

♪ Like a true modern-day Robin Hood ♪

Not a lot of folks jog.

In Hazzard, most of the jogging is done on four wheels or legs.

In this case, there are six legs.

And two of them could stop a Confederate cavalry charge.

Either Maudine's been taking beauty lessons...

or Daisy borrowed herself one pretty horse.

Now, Maudine isn't Jesse's girlfriend, she's Jesse's mule.

It's old Hughie Hogg...

trying to sneak his way back into Hazzard.

Hey, fellas! Isn't he pretty?

- Meet Country Boy. - Where did you get him?

I'm exercising him for Mary Belle. Hold on, boy.

The Dukes!

You have figured out by now, Hughie Hogg is Boss' nephew.

GENERAL LEE Let's give her a hand.

Stop.

- Get the General close. - Yes, sir.

Come on, pull up.

Come on. A little closer.

I'm getting it.

Be careful, she's the only good-looking cousin I've got.

Come on, Daisy. Come on, honey.

- Alright. - Alright.

You gotta stop eating pancakes, girl. You alright?

Thank you.

- You okay? - Yes.

Alright, Bo, ease it down to a stop now.

- Are you alright, Daisy? - Yes. Thank you.

That horse really got away from me.

No wonder, with that Hughie Hogg blowing a siren under his nose.

Let's go pound some sense into him.

First we got to catch that horse...

then we'll go get Hughie, alright?

Alright.

Get in.

Hit it.

So, on behalf of all you good folks of Hazzard County...

I want to personally thank...

this very generous young man, my nephew, Hughie Hogg...

for donating to Hazzard County...

this brand-spanking-new used fire truck.

"Brand-spanking-new used fire truck"?

I smell something and it ain't the wind from the stables.

Hughie Hogg.

Hope you brought an ambulance. You'll need it once we done.

Spooking Daisy's horse like that.

It was an accident! And I got witnesses.

Yeah, and if you lay hand on my nephew...

Sheriff Coltrane is gonna lock you up where you'll rot...

till the jailhouse crumbles around you.

Or even longer. I'll cuff you and stuff you. Now just scoot.

Alright. Hughie, just remember...

you got anymore shenanigans in mind against the Duke family...

you better forget them 'cause we've just about had it.

If you boys are so fired up with spit and vinegar...

here's your chance to do something useful for a change.

Like what?

Like joining the Hazzard County Volunteer Fire Brigade.

You're wasting your time, Uncle Boss. They're just chicken.

You wait just a minute. Who you calling chicken, turkey?

I hereby volunteer both me and Luke's services right now.

I suppose it is a good cause, even though y'all are involved.

I imagine Uncle Jesse will join, too.

You won't be able to join any cause if you're in the slammer.

And that's what you'll be if you don't scoot.

- You know what I'll do? - Yeah.

- You'll arrest us for loitering. - Cuff us, stuff us, right?

- Yeah, I could do that. - Alright, thanks for joining.

That's very nice of you.

Everybody, the presentation's over now, so you can go on.

See? They fell for it, just like I said they would, Uncle Boss.

I'll have the Duke's out of this town and in jail before...

you can pluck a bald chicken bald.

And you know why I'm giving you a second chance, Hughie?

Because you are the meanest, backbitingest...

double-crossingest...

lowdown Hogg in history. And I love you for it.

Well, you know. I always try to do my worst.

One more thing. Your watch, sir.

Your wallet, sir.

I don't care what anybody says.

Anytime Hughie Hogg shows up, it means trouble for us Dukes.

That's right.

Everybody's got a right to a second chance.

Now maybe he turned over a new leaf.

Uncle Jesse, a snake that sheds its skin is still a snake.

Well, you could be right.

Breaker, this is a Hazzard County fire alert.

Here's your chief.

Attention all volunteer firemen.

This is Fire Commissioner J.D. Hogg speaking. Now listen.

There's a very bad fire over at Zack Wheaton's farm.

So I'm ordering all volunteer firemen to hightail...

it right over there on the double to meet my engine.

Over and out.

It looks like we're gonna get four birds with one stone.

- Hughie? Nephew Boss to you. - Nephew Boss to me.

Now let's get this shine stashed in the house, now.

The reason Boss knew there was a fire at Zack's farm...

he told Zack to set it. Zack did it...

because Boss held his mortgage.

Don't power corrupt something terrible?

No! Sorry, folks. Just a false alarm.

But maybe we'll get lucky and have a real fire next time.

Meanwhile, I wanna thank y'all for rising to the occasion...

and getting here so quick.

Just go home, now. That's all. There's nothing more. Go away.

Bye, now.

- I don't like the smell of this. - That makes three of us.

He didn't call us out here on a wild goose chase for nothing.

- Let's get home. - He's up to something.

Bo, if you get your hands off the food, I'll say grace.

Lord, we thank you for this bounteous table placed here.

- Amen. - Amen.

Y'all don't reckon that's another fire?

It's Rosco and Cletus.

How come he always arrives between blessings and vittles?

Daisy, I got a warrant to search these premises.

Sure, Rosco. We got nothing to hide.

- Come on in. - Well, we'll see about that.

Tell you what, you find anything of value, we'll split it.

Uncle Jesse, I wish you wouldn't say that.

Y'all don't mind if we go right on eating?

By the time you find anything, our stew is going to be cold.

Bo, I wouldn't bet the farm on that.

Let's see here. Not in the cookie jar either.

Well, let's just look under here. There should...

Lookie, lookie.

Bad news. Bad news.

Naughty, naughty.

That must be 200-proof.

Well, looks to me like you boys done violated your probation.

- That's a lie and you know it. - We never saw that shine before.

There ain't been one ounce of new shine in this house...

since I promised the Federal Government I would make no more.

You old goat, I ain't arresting you. I'm arresting these two.

Alright, Cletus, let's cuff them and stuff them.

It ain't nothing personal.

I love this part.

Rosco, there's no hard feelings...

No hard feelings? They'll only get about 20 years, I reckon.

- We'll see y'all in 20 years. - Yeah.

Go!

- What are you doing here? - Hush! Just get up and get them!

Come on, let's go!

Wait for me, Wild Bill.

Shoot, they're sticking to us like fat on a hog jowl.

Wait a minute. Have you been giving Rosco driving lessons?

You're crazy.

BOARS NEST CLOSED FOR PRIVATE PARTY

To Bo and Luke Duke, long may they live...

in the federal pen.

And to Rosco and Cletus, who should catch them right now.

That's the least of our problems.

Watkins Bridge is still out.

This is one heck of a time to tell me.

Now would you just look at that?

I don't even think the General could jump that far.

You ain't gonna trick me into making that jump and landing.

What'd I tell you, Flash?

Ain't nothing them Dukes can do about it now.

Cletus, what're you doing up there?

You know you scuffed my vehicle?

Get down here and help me out of here.

Sure thing. As soon as I head off Bo and Luke.

Wait. Cletus!

I presume you must be Jefferson Davis Hogg?

I am. How'd you get in here? Listen, can't you read?

There's a sign outside that says "Closed for Private Party."

You'd be surprised how many doors that opens.

"A.B. Stillwell, Chief Director, Southeastern Section...

"Internal Revenue Service."

The Feds!

What would the Internal Revenue Service want with...

an honest citizen like Uncle Boss?

Let's put it this way:

When a man of his obvious affluence pays a total tax...

of $87.14 over a seven-year period...

something smells rotten in the Hogg pen.

What do you mean by "man of obvious affluence"?

I'm just hanging on by a thread.

You can hide cash, but not real estate.

We'll check the county records.

If you own property worth more than you said you've earned...

you'd better get yourself a sharp lawyer.

Wait a minute. You can't do that!

You can't do that! Why can't he, Uncle Boss?

Why? Well, because...

While you're figuring out the answer...

I've scheduled the audit for 9:00 tomorrow morning.

Have a good day, Mr. Hogg.

What does he mean, "good day"?

This is the worst day of my life.

While Boss was poor-mouthing...

old Cletus was doing better than he should.

Considering who he was.

Dang, we got the tail end wet.

Buzzard on a buzz saw.

Ain't no way I can keep up with them Duke boys...

If I didn't have me a shortcut.

Hughie, you are looking at one dead Hogg.

When that IRS fellow examines the county records...

he's gonna find it easier to list all the properties...

I don't own than the ones I do.

There's no problem, Uncle Boss.

The IRS can't prove that you've been cheating on your taxes...

if you haven't got anything to show for it.

Put all your assets in someone else's name till the audit...

- then you take it back. - Yeah.

That's what I'll do. That's a wonderful idea.

No. I can't do that. Because who is this someone else?

There ain't nobody that I trust to give it back. In fact...

the only person in this whole world I trust...

you ain't gonna believe this...

is Jesse Duke.

There you go.

- Put everything into his name. - Yeah.

Yeah, that's what I'll do.

No, I can't. Because Jesse is the uncle of Bo and Luke Duke.

And when the chips are down, blood is thicker than water.

I mean, when push comes to shove...

blood is thicker than water.

That's who I can trust, Hughie. You!

- Me? - Yeah.

You don't know what you're saying, Uncle Boss.

I've been lying and cheating all my life.

- I might swindle everything. - No, you wouldn't.

Why, remember, blood is thicker than water.

It's gotta be you.

Look. We'll go right down to the County Hall of Records...

and we'll change all the names on the ledger down there.

But meanwhile, we got to draw up a paper...

and sign, to make everything legal.

Meanwhile, the boys were still retreating...

like the Yankees at Manassas.

And old Cletus is like a broken clock...

It's right at least once in a while.

Hey, look out for Billy Ray.

Cletus, you fool! Trying to kill me? What's the matter with you?

Friends, you think farming ain't tough in Hazzard County?

Well, don't get hot. I'm sorry.

Looks like everybody's okay.

At least we bought ourselves time...

to find out who planted that shine in our kitchen.

I'll give you one guess.

Like they say, a Hogg can't change his spots.

Especially not Hughie.

Get Cooter on the CB. See if he can keep an eye on them.

Crazy C, this is the Lost Sheep.

Be right back, Chief.

Crazy Cooter coming back at you.

Hope y'all are laying low, 'cause...

the entire Hazzard constabulary is looking for y'all.

They ain't the only ones on a manhunt.

You haven't seen Hughie Hogg, have you?

Yeah. Him and Boss went into the county building an hour ago.

Their cars are still parked outside...

I reckon they're still in there.

Do us a favor and let us know which way he goes...

when he leaves. We aim to have a talk with that man.

I'll keep my eagle eyes out. That's a big 10-4 ya'll.

Here.

Here.

Here. Alright. That's the last one, Hughie.

Every thing I got in this whole wide world is now in your name.

As far as the Internal Revenue Service is concerned...

I ain't got a penny.

You may have never spoken a truer word in your whole life.

Yeah.

Yeah.

- Alright, let's go. - Here we go.

HAZZARD COUNTY COURT HOUSE

You sure been good to me.

You're a special kind of guy, Uncle Boss.

Alright, then. See you.

Come on now, let's get out of here.

Breaker, Breaker, Crazy Cooter coming at you.

Y'all home on the Hazzard net?

What's up, Crazy C?

Looks like Boss Hogg is headed home.

But little piglet Hughie is going on Hopkin's Road.

Don't know what we'll do without you. Thanks Cooter.

- How did the scam go? - Exactly like I said it would.

You know, you make a darn good IRS man.

- There we go. - Just a minute.

Alright.

I don't know who that guy is.

If he's dealing with Hughie Hogg, you can bet he's a skunk.

It's time we taught them both some manners.

I say, country boy...

all you're gonna do is spend time in the federal pen.

- What for? - Moving shine.

Come on. Let's go.

That's old Hughie's minion.

Looks like old Hughie's covered all the angles.

Rosco, ain't you gonna listen to our side of the story?

I don't talk to jailbirds.

Especially when their name is Duke.

You better get Boss Hogg to come talk to us...

or he'll be finished here in Hazzard County.

Did you hear that, sheriff?

Why, he's threatenin' uncle Boss's life.

Like they say, blood is thicker than water.

Old Boss is about to figure out how thick blood can get.

What's all this?

What's going on here? Let me out.

All my things are out here. Look, here's my barber chair.

My billiard table, my desk, my big fish.

Somebody's gonna pay for this.

I never heard of such a thing.

All my stuff. I just don't understand it.

What's going on here? All my stuff is outside.

And all this stuff is in here.

- Hi, Uncle Boss. - Hughie!

What have you done here?

All these things must have cost a fortune.

Of my money.

That's the way the praline crumbles...

I mean, you signed everything over to me.

- But that was temporary. - Yeah, but I made it permanent.

No, you didn't.

- Yes, you did, didn't you? - I did.

Why would you do something like that to me?

When you called me to come here and snooker the Dukes...

I figured I could make it a double by nailing you, too.

I'm too greedy a pig to just be a Hogg.

How could you do a terrible thing like this?

Turning on me, J.D. Hogg, your own flesh and blood.

- You're right, Uncle Boss. - Sure, I am.

I'm sorry.

I told you not to trust me. I knew you wouldn't believe me.

Uncle Boss, I'm terrible!

I just pray that the devil will forgive me for what I've done.

Alright, Hughie. There's no use crying over spilt shine.

- What's done is did. - You don't understand.

I went and bit the hand that fed me.

And I double-crossed the man that made me who I am today.

- Namely, me. - Yeah, and you're not mad at me.

No, I ain't.

I just can't be mad at you on account of you doing...

exactly what I would've done in your place.

Besides, I'm so swelled up and proud over you...

I'm about to burst a gusset.

Really? Thank you. I knew you'd understand.

I do.

Just like you'll understand...

when you give me back everything you took.

I don't think I could do that, Uncle Boss.

I'd really like to, but I don't think I can.

Yes, you can.

On account of blood is thicker than water.

Yeah, but money is thicker than blood.

- What do you mean by that? - You got nothing to worry about.

I'm not re-possessing your house until noon.

You ain't gonna take my house, too? That's the last straw!

You'll do it over my corpus delecti. I'll go to the law.

No, you can't do that, Uncle Boss.

If you admit to owning any property...

that'll be confessing that you cheated on your income taxes.

Dang!

I'm gonna get back everything you took. I'll go to my friends.

- You don't have any friends. - Then I'll go to my enemies.

I've got plenty of those.

I'll tell you this, you'll have to bring an army.

You'll have to bring an army to get that paper you signed.

I got three deputies guarding it and I got more coming...

from Atlanta.

Not to mention this.

Let me in.

Solid steel.

Nobody can get through a solid-steel door.

Except maybe them Duke boys.

Alright, Cletus. Here you go.

My own personal check worth $200.

Now bail both these boys out of here.

No offense, Cousin Boss, but is this on the level?

You've been trying to get them in jail...

Cletus, will you hush? Boss Hogg knows what he's doing.

That's what you think.

If either of you boys take one step out of here...

it'll be the last walking you'll ever do.

Wouldn't you like to just bust him one?

I mean, you could just kinda, sorta, take your pick.

Wait. You got no call to hold us here, Boss Hogg bailed us out.

Not with that check.

Your account belongs to Hughie now...

with everything else you put in his name.

Alright. It's true.

I did sign a paper giving Hughie everything I own...

but it was only supposed to be temporary.

Now Hughie's trying to make it permanent.

It sounds like you ought to be proud of Hughie.

He's just following in your own little fat footsteps.

That's beside the point. Look here...

I don't intend to take this lying down, you hear?

You can take it sitting down in a jail cell with them two.

Get out of here before I bounce you out with that rubber check.

- I know where it is. - Where's the keys?

Keys? Right here.

- Let's go, move it on. - Yeah, alright.

When Lulu left for the farm, she sent her skinny sister...

Hortense, to Hazzard, to keep an eye on old Boss.

Boss had to turn to his oldest friend and enemy for help.

Hughie did what?

Yeah. He swindled me, Jesse.

I signed away to him everything I owned.

It was like taking candy from a baby.

A fat baby. Wasn't it, sweetheart?

I told Lulu before she married him...

he was going to wind up in jail or the poorhouse.

Jesse, speaking of Lulu...

I promised her I'd take care of Hortense...

while she was at the fat farm.

So, look, I ain't asking for myself. But...

could you please put her in your barn till things get right?

Boss, we wouldn't dream of it.

Miss Hortense, you can share my room.

J.D., I guess you'll have to stay in the barn.

Me?

Keep your fat face out of the mule's feed bag, you hear?

- Now wait a minute... - Pick up the suitcases, fatso!

Alright. I'm doing it.

Be the first honest work you've done...

since you got hitched to my poor, unsuspecting sister.

- And this, too, dummy. - Alright!

Okay, darling, where do we go?

I'll tell you one thing...

old Boss sure never had any luck with the women.

Bo, take a look at this.

HUGHIE TOWN POLICE

If that pint-sized polecat ain't renaming Hazzard after himself!

- Luke, we can't let him do that. - No way.

Not even if it means pulling Boss' fat out of the fire.

Hughie is more dangerous than he is.

- We got to break out of here. - Sure. Just like that.

- Lunchtime! - Just like that.

- Hi. - Look who it is. Hey, Cletus.

- Mind if I eat with you? - No. Go right ahead.

It'd be a lot easier if you came inside.

While we're in jail, we might as well eat in comfort.

But, you can't tell Rosco, otherwise he'll skin me alive.

- Not a word. - Not from us.

Friends, I think this one's going to be easy.

- That looks real good, Cletus. - Give me a hand, Bo.

I'll give you a hand. Don't think you can handle it alone.

Help! Help! The Duke boys are escaping.

Glad you could handle yourself.

- Come on, let's get out of here. - Freeze or I'll shoot!

Damn! They almost made it!

If you wouldn't have took so long.

If I wouldn't have?

He was bigger, the other guy.

Come on, you two, in!

You, out!

And I mean out of the whole entire building.

'Cause you've just been fired for stupidity on duty.

Who are you calling stupid? I didn't just get beat up.

Go on!

You reckon the hamburgers are still warm?

They look more like meatloafs to me.

Y'all may remember that when Boss gets upset...

he gets the nibbles.

Looks like old Boss' appetite done cleaned her out.

You reckon he done ate that goldfish?

No. It's a cookie bowl.

- Morning, Daisy. - Morning, Boss, Miss Hortense.

You'll have to excuse J.D., Daisy...

he's got the manners of a goat, and the appetite to match.

Now, Hortense. That just ain't true.

Hughie got me so riled up, I can't eat another bite.

JOE'S HARDWARE - OPEN Good. Good.

Meanwhile, Hughie was passing his own version of the ERA.

HUGHIE'S HARDWARE "E" for evicting.

"R" for raising rents.

And "A" for ambushing the local drivers.

ONE WAY

With the boys in jail and Cletus off the force...

the only one left to stand up to Hughie was old Rosco.

When it comes to conniving, Rosco was overmatched. A lot.

Hughie! You little weasel! Where are you? Idjit.

There you are. Alright.

You little dipstick. You know what I ought to do?

I ought to turn you over my knee and blister your backside!

Why are you gonna do that? Just because I sold your patrol car?

No! Yes! And I ain't gonna forget that.

But mainly what you're doing to my fat buddy, Boss Hogg...

and you won't get away it, either.

- You're forgetting one thing. - What's that?

You see, I'm boss now.

Not if I knock you into the middle of next week.

- Rosco? - What?

- Boys, book him, take him away... - Who? Who's going to...

Assault and battery.

Do you know who you're scuffing?

Don't take that! That's my pearl-handled... That's pearl.

I'll stomp you and kick a hole...

- Give me the gun and keys. - You're gonna make me mad.

Boy, I am a mess of meanness when I get mad.

You've just scuffed me for the last time, I'm serious.

Get in there, motor mouth!

Open the door!

Get in there and stay in there!

Bye, boys!

Looks like the cowboys and Indians are on the same side.

- Where are we going? - Scoot.

Hurry up!

Come on, they can't be too far ahead.

Let's go.

They've got to be hiding somewhere near.

Let's take a look in the garage.

Hey, howdy, gents.

Okay, Mr. Goodwrench.

We know the Dukes are hiding in here somewhere.

- You do? - Where are they?

Friend, be my guest. Feel free to look around all you want...

just stay away from my truck.

Well, what do you know?

Looks like we just struck oil.

Cheer up, friends and neighbors.

At that range, even he might miss.

Hey, whoa, hey. Whoa!

Okay, chubby, where are those Duke boys?

They took a clunker and headed South Road a few minutes ago.

Listen, now...

after you catch them, put in a good word with Hughie for me.

There you go, Luke.

We got you covered.

- You alright? - I'm alright. You alright?

We'd better get out to the farm.

We got to get back that paper Boss signed.

We're gonna need few accomplices for what I got in mind.

- Alright. - Let's go.

Where in the world have you boys been?

Daisy and Cletus have been combing the hill for you.

We was in jail. Didn't Boss tell you?

No, you didn't tell me. Why didn't you tell me?

It slipped my mind.

But, look, it don't make no difference now. Everybody!

We just have to forget all about the past...

and join forces against our common enemy.

Namely, my own nephew. An ingrate...

who is robbing Hazzard County blind!

You're dang right. He's so dang, he makes you look straight.

If we don't get that paper that you signed...

he's gonna be running Hazzard County forever.

Daisy, think you could decoy him and his deputies...

for us to break in and grab it?

- I could give it a go, sugar. - I'll bet.

Wait just a cotton-picking minute!

You're not going to break and enter while I'm on duty.

It ain't breaking and entering, you knucklehead!

It's hefting and hauling...

on account of that paper's in my safe...

a safe that weighs more than I do.

And it ain't going to be easy.

J.D. tells me that Hughie put steel doors on that office.

- And there ain't no windows. - We don't need none.

All we need is a phone call to Cooter and Cletus.

Step inside, gentlemen.

- Ladies, too. - Okay.

The Dukes, Rosco, and the Boss are all on the same side.

I sure don't think I'd want to be playing on that other team.

- Morning, Hughie, sugar. - Sugar?

- I always thought you hated me. - That's before I knew you.

Now, I have always admired smart, forceful men.

And seeing that you out-slickered Boss...

I know you are both those things.

And probably a whole lot more.

You're learning fast, Daisy.

Hughie, being as how I work for you now...

I can't say no if you asked me to share this lunch with you...

in some nice, romantic spot.

I never mix business with pleasure, Daisy.

Maybe we can take a day off and...

go on a picnic. Come on.

I wonder what's keeping Daisy so long in there.

Probably has second thoughts about helping...

a crooked old windbag like you.

Oh, Hughie.

What'd I tell you? She's got him eating out of her hand.

Hang on tight, Miss Hortense.

Just hold on.

- Hook up this thing, here. - I don't know.

I'll help you.

Alright, Rosco, just stay put.

Whistle if you see any trouble coming, alright?

Right. Drop it down, Cletus.

- Take her up! - Take her up!

- You got it? - That was fast!

Okay, baby, now fire up for me, alright?

Sounds like something's wrong with the air conditioner.

We don't have no air conditioner.

Why don't you go outside and see?

Give him a..

You're going for a little ride.

Roll him.

It's giving me a headache. Go see what's taking Roy so long.

Howdy!

Come on, you!

Join your buddy.

Hold on!

Alright!

That there what you're looking at is...

the only elevator in Hazzard County.

Alright, Cletus, take her up!

Freeze, sod-buster!

Sod-buster? Listen, I wouldn't try nothing with that gun...

'cause there's a man behind you who's got one just like it.

You think I just jumped off the tater truck?

- That's what I was thinking. - What's going on here?

Rosco, roll him down the hill there, I'll go signal Daisy.

Hughie didn't know it, but Daisy had him digging...

into trouble with his own teeth.

That was some powerful good fried chicken, Daisy.

Well, thank you, Hughie honey, my little dumpling.

Wait'll you see what I made you for dessert.

I know what I'm gonna have for dessert. You.

Come here, you rascal!

Now, wait a minute, I don't understand this.

This picnic was your idea so you could get me up here alone.

Yeah. Reckon it was.

Then why do you keep runnin' away?

Well, I got my reason, sugar.

Like that there arrow!

Hughie? Bye!

Mommy!

Just to prove us Dukes keep our word...

here's dessert.

- Somebody turn on the lights. - Get in, quick!

All we have to do is keep our fingers crossed for the boys.

I can't see nothing.

Hang on.

Ease her down, Cletus.

There you go.

Get her up, Cletus.

I'm gonna tie this thing down.

Tie it down good. Cooter, let's fly.

We ain't out of the woods yet.

Nephew Boss from Deputies. Got your ears on?

I got them on. But they're full of meringue, so speak up!

The Duke boys helped Boss heist your safe.

They got it on a tow truck heading for Capitol City.

We're in hot pursuit.

You better be in hot pursuit, because if we don't stop them...

we're gonna be out in the cold.

Can't you speed up? I can run as fast as you're going.

Hang on.

We got company, gentlemen.

Tell Boss to get that safe open quickly.

- We'll try to hold them off. - Better hurry up, Boss!

Do something evasive.

Come on, Rosco, you've done this before.

Help me find the right paper.

Hang in there.

Smashing into a moving vehicle.

That's a violation of a 107 if ever I heard of one.

Or is that a 108?

Hughie just joined the party.

Tell Boss to take them papers and stuff them in a cash bag.

- We'll pick him up on the run. - Boss hasn't run in 30 years.

He'd better learn to fly...

'cause we got no time to stop and pick him up.

Alright, get in close.

He's gonna scuff his fat little body if he jumps.

Alright, Boss, on the count of three, jump!

- You want me to get me killed? - One!

- Here. You do it. - Two.

J.D. you do it or you won't live long enough to get killed.

- Three. - Jump!

- I'm going! - Come on!

Hang on there, fat buddy.

Just hang tight, Miss Hortense, everything is gonna be alright.

I'm gonna take a short cut and see if I can cut them off.

I sure hope that this paper is in this bag...

'cause I ain't got the strength to jump back onto that truck.

You're too fat, anyway.

- They're headed for the river. - Stick with them.

We'll corner them, for sure.

Look on the other side of the creek bed.

I see it.

Keep moving. Keep moving.

But if they catch me before I find that paper, I'm a goner.

Can't you go no faster?

Sure, I can go faster, but the car can't, not on this track.

I think we got them. We're gonna beat them to the bridge.

Y'all remember this place? And what was wrong?

The bridge is out!

That must have smarted.

- I found it! - Alright!

Get out of there.

What happened?

I think you just bought yourself a ticket out of town.

Not to mention, out of my will...

and out of my whole family altogether.

Because, my fine feathered former nephew...

I just found that paper which I signed you everything I own.

Just watch this!

What do you think of that?

Boss worked all night long getting his own name...

back on the deeds to his own property.

With a little proddin' from Hortense.

Hughie Hogg, you get out of Hazzard County and stay out!

I don't want to see your double-crossing face here again.

Me, neither.

- Until... - You need him.

I need him.

Boss never did find half the papers that he tossed away...

including about a dozen mortgages.

Which meant that he couldn't collect on any of them...

except Jesse's...

and he wasn't about to take advantage of Boss' misfortunes.

With Rosco and Cletus back on the job...

the truce between Boss and the Dukes was over...

when Boss gave a bill for damaging the roof...

and Rosco gave them a ticket for speeding...

while being chased by old Hughie...

which put everything in Hazzard right back to normal...

which could drive a wooden person crazy.