Original subtitles

♪ Just a good ol' boys ♪

♪ Never meanin' no harm ♪

♪ Beats all you never saw ♪

♪ Been in trouble with the law since the day they was born ♪

♪ Straight'nin' the curves ♪

♪ Flat'nin' the hills ♪

♪ Someday the mountain might get 'em, but the law never will ♪

♪ Makin' their way ♪

♪ The only way they know how ♪

♪ That's just a little bit more than the law will allow ♪

♪ Just a good ol' boys ♪

♪ Wouldn't change if they could ♪

♪ Fightin' the system like a true modern day Robin Hood ♪

Well, it must be Saturday in Hazzard County.

The Duke boys are going fishing.

Daisy's on her way to visit Aunt Kate for a couple of days.

And Uncle Jesse? Well, he's just out for a ride.

Hey, look who we caught up with.

That's Uncle Jesse.

Shepherd, this here is two Lost Sheep.

You got your ears on? We're coming right on through.

We got us a date at the lake to go fishing.

Get out of the way, Uncle Jesse.

Did you two finish your chores before you left the house?

Yes, sir, we did.

And another thing, too. Daisy called from over at Aunt Kate's.

Said Aunt Kate's back on her feet from her miseries...

Daisy ought to be home by Monday.

That's good. That's good.

Which reminds me. Since Daisy ain't here...

I take it that meant you did the laundry and made up the beds.

Yes. You better get out of the way 'cause we're coming through.

I'll tell you, you're not coming through unless I want you to.

I'll tell you what you do. You just take your best shot.

That we will.

He's pretty good, ain't he?

Yee-haw!

Well, it looks like Uncle Jesse ain't lost his touch.

That'll teach you to mess with one of the best...

ridge runners in Hazzard County.

We sure showed him.

He ain't bad.

Get back on the road.

$2 worth of gas. That ought to get you about halfway.

Y'all see that car coming in back there? Watch.

- I can't believe this. - It's probably the fan belt.

We'll be out of this tank town in no time.

You just try and stay cool, you hear?

When I'm sitting with $200,000 worth of hot jewelry

in my lap, I find it very hard to be cool.

Tank town?

Don't it make you kind of feel sorry for folks...

coming to Hazzard thinking it's just like any other place?

Whoo! Hey. What've we got here?

- Running a little hot? - We're just having a barbecue.

What she meant to say is we got a little fan belt trouble here.

I believe you're right.

Tell you what...

why don't y'all run over to the cafe over there on the square...

get yourself coffee and something to eat?

I'll have this thing fixed for you in no time.

Thank you. Sounds like a real good idea.

Thank you.

Hey, try the meat loaf.

We will.

Hear ye! Hear ye! Hear ye!

This meeting of the Hazzard County Council Board...

of Directors is now in session.

I move that we dispense with the reading of the minutes...

of the last meeting, dispense with approval of said minutes...

and dispense with this meeting's old business.

All in favor say, "Aye."

- Aye. - Aye! Unanimous.

Which brings us to new business.

And this here ledger shows me...

that there's no business in new business.

Especially in parking tickets, speeding tickets...

and every other kind of ticket.

Well, Boss, you can't force people to break the law.

No. But we've got to get ourselves some new laws...

they don't know about.

And there's always some old, old laws that they forgot about.

You can just start by ticketing that illegal snazzy car...

parked out there in your spot.

That car is not parked illegal, Boss. That's my car.

That's my new secondhand used car.

How'd you buy a new secondhand used car on what I pay you?

- By saving my nickels... - Saving it?

And dimes.

Nickels and dimes?

I suppose that's how you got yourself a new gold watch, too.

It isn't all gold. There's a lot of zinc.

- Zinc. - Looks like gold.

Yeah. Looks like gold.

But, see, it works good. It tells the time of day...

and the month, and it plays a little tune and wakes you up.

- You know what tune? - I can't imagine.

- Wanna guess? - No.

It's called Georgia on My Mind.

I'll tell you what's on my mind, right here in this ledger.

Look at that.

All them collect calls have been made to you from Nashville.

Oh, Oh. That's my Aunt Emma and Uncle Wilbur.

They're poor. I have to send them money once in a while.

Money that I save.

You mean, the money you save on those calls that I pay for.

- No... - Rosco, I'm warning you.

You and Cletus better bring me in some ticket money...

or else that watch is gonna start waking you up...

to the tune of Brother, Can You Spare a Dime?

- Now, git! - I'm going.

So Rosco sent Cletus fishing, too...

to see if he could snag some new business for the Boss.

I tell you, Luke, old Billy sure was right about this place.

How's that?

We ain't never caught this many fish before at one sitting.

I just wish old Flash was here with us.

How come?

That way we'd have catfish and hush puppies.

You'd do better if you talked a little less...

and fished a little more.

Hi!

- Cletus, will you shut up? - Sorry. Hi.

Hate to bother you, but can I see your fishing license?

I know it's a bother, but it is the law.

It's the law. Here you go.

I don't know how to tell, but these aren't good anymore.

Have to give y'all a ticket.

What are you saying? Them licenses is practically new.

We got them two months ago.

The law says you have to have a brand-new fishing license.

The law says you have to have a brand-new fishing license...

every week.

It's a new law the Sheriff passed about 20 minutes ago.

How're we supposed to know about a law...

that's only been passed 20 minutes ago?

I don't know. The Sheriff said to tell everybody that...

ignorance of the law.. Something I forgot.

Number one: we ain't ignorant.

And two: this is one law we're gonna fight.

- Look, can I take my fish? - Yes. But I take the pole.

Careful, it's brand new rig.

A really fine mess you've got us into!

Myrna, honey, would you just please cool down?

We've got the jewels. The law don't even know where we're at.

We are in this little town here. It's nice and it's quiet.

There ain't nothing for you to worry your little heart over.

And beside that, honey, there's just one little bitty thing:

I love you.

That's it.

Freeze!

Freeze, you're busted.

I caught you, didn't I? I caught you osculating.

That's a no-no, see? That's naughty. You can't osculate.

In this book of regulations, 2236, it definitely states...

you cannot osculate within 20 yards of a public thoroughfare.

And you were certainly osculating if I've ever seen.

I gotta write out your ticket here.

Put your hands down, lady, it's not as if you robbed a bank.

It will cost you $20. Uh, apiece.

And you're gonna have to come over in person

and pay it at the jail.

- Jail? - We'll be happy to pay the fine.

- You will? - Yeah.

Come on. I just..

The sooner we pay that stupid fine...

the sooner we get out of this town.

We've gotta be absolutely out of our minds...

to walk into a police station with the jewels on us.

We're not going to.

You have to come with me. It's over here.

- Yes. - Come on.

See, osculating in itself ain't bad, I've done it myself.

Look at these pretty flowers!

Burt, honey, aren't they just precious?

Yeah. The Ladies' Auxiliary.. Lady!

You done messed up again. That's naughty. That's a no-no.

You can't pick a Hazzard County flower.

That'll be another $20.

- $20? - $10.

It's worth it, Sheriff.

If I may have that, please. Evidence.

If you'd just go this way, please.

Meanwhile, Bo and Luke were still fuming...

about that ticket Cletus gave them.

Why are we taking the shortcut, anyway?

We better get to Rosco before he makes a law...

against taking shortcuts.

One thing I hate is somebody who drives dang near as good as me.

Next thing Boss is liable to do is make a law against...

I don't know, the color of your hair.

Ain't so much the color of your hair...

it's people who got hair that get him all hot and bothered.

How much did you say that would be?

You know it's $20. $20 apiece for osculating.

$10 for the flowers. I'm gonna make you out a receipt here.

I have to do it in duplicate here.

Have to keep the records straight.

Oh, Flash.

If you have to go out, you have to go out by yourself.

You're a big girl now.

Oh, God.

I can't believe this. This is a new...

I'm gonna have to give you boys a ticket!

Fishing license.

- Hey, Flash. - Hello, Flash.

That's the first time I've seen her on her feet.

Rosco!

You'll need a receipt, too...

We'd like to talk to you about this ticket Cletus gave us.

- We ain't gonna pay it! - Will you two hush?

Can't you see I'm busy taking money from these tourists?

Taking money from the tourists.

You're always collecting money from nice folks.

- What did y'all do? - I was just kissing my wife.

You kissed your wife.

I'll need your Social Security numbers now.

For just a ticket? I don't think we'll need any receipt.

- Will you please hurry? - We don't have all day!

Well, isn't that a shame, because I have.

Why don't you two just get out of here...

because after I'm finished with these nice people...

I'm going to go down and have myself some lunch.

I certainly am not gonna talk to you till after then.

Now just git!

- Thanks a lot. - Talk to you later.

Y'all have a nice day.

Thank you.

Well, Rosco, what have we here?

Boss, what we have here is a violation of Code 2234.

Osculating in public.

That's bad.

Actually, it's good. I collected the fine.

Must be $40 here. $20 fine each.

Wrong. Actually, there's $50 there. See, I also...

- How do you figure? - I caught them picking a pansy.

What? Picking flowers. Where'd they do that?

Out front.

- Picking my pansies? - Yeah. A yellow one.

I see you got that flower as evidence.

To all law enforcement agencies:

We have an APB out of Nashville. Jewel robbery.

Suspects believed to be Burt and Myrna Rowby...

and headed to the southern counties.

Known to be dangerous and armed.

You know, there must be a big reward out for them jewels.

So I want you and Cletus to keep a special lookout for that gang.

Listen, Boss, you don't have to worry about a thing...

because if that gang even gets halfway near Hazzard County...

I'll be on them like a duck on a June bug.

Here you are, young lady. Here's your receipt.

And here is your Social Security card back, Mr. Rowby.

- Rowby? - Rowby?

Down! Both of you. Come on!

On the floor! Both of you! Get down on the floor.

I don't want you to move until you count to 100.

Now count.

One, two, three...

- The jewels! - Not now, you fool. Later!

Six, seven, ten, one hundred!

Right under your nose and you let them get away.

Come on! Let's go after them.

You boys got yourselves some company.

Luke, you want to drive?

Faster. There they go!

Cletus! Cletus, stop, stop! Cletus!

Hi, Sheriff. It's been such a downright peaceful day.

Everybody's been so good.

Cletus, you lugnut! You get after them Duke boys!

They're part of a jewelry robbery gang! Come on, move it!

And Rosco, you and me! Shoo! Let's go.

No! Go that way!

Turn up this side street and stop, 'cause we're getting off.

Yes, ma'am.

Get this thing going!

- Move! - I can't find the keys.

- I know where they are. - Where?

They're in your hand, right there.

You dodo, come on.

It ain't fitting.

That's 'cause you got it in the wrong way!

What in tarnation is the matter with you?

It ain't starting.

Don't you stick your tongue out at me, you dog.

She's not sticking her tongue out.

You know what that is? That's a little red velvet bag.

That must be the Rowby gang's jewels.

They found the jewelry.

You couldn't find your key?

You couldn't fit your key in the little hole?

No, it was too..

And you bought yourself a new car and watch...

with all them nickels and dimes you've been saving?

Boss, why are you looking at me with those beady little eyes?

- What are you thinking? - Nothing.

- I know something. - What?

Them collect calls you got from Nashville...

from your aunt and uncle, they were from the Rowby gang.

You're in this with them and with the Duke boys.

No, listen, I don't want you thinking.. I am innocent.

You know what really cuts me to the quick?

That you, find yourself a sweet deal like this...

and you didn't cut me in for one little itty-bitty percent.

You know what that means? I call it mutiny.

That's right. Treason, disloyalty, and disaffection.

This here is Luke. We ain't really acquainted with them.

They pulled a gun on us. What's this all about?

Cousin Boss said you boys were part of that jewel robbery.

Shame on you. You know better than that. Now pull over.

Boss, listen. I swear...

I didn't have anything to do with those jewel thieves.

Yeah? Then how did these here jewels get in your car?

Well, they..

I don't know.

Flash, tell your daddy where you got that bag of jewels.

I'll take away your dog biscuits.

No. Don't say another word. I've seen and heard enough.

You really let me down this time, didn't you?

How?

There's only one thing left for me to do...

before I put these jewels away for safekeeping.

And that is to officially drum you out...

as Hazzard County sheriff.

You wouldn't. You would.

Let's get the car and pull out of this place.

We're gonna get the car, but we ain't going nowhere...

except where that fat little man and our jewelry is going.

- But, Myrna... - Shut up!

It is our jewelry and we're taking it back.

Now, come on.

Cletus, you know us better than that.

Can we just talk this over?

We could talk as soon as I take you in like Boss told me to.

Sorry, Cletus. There ain't no way.

We'll see you later. No hard feelings.

Darn it!

A jewelry robbery.

Been better off staying fishing.

Hang, on cousin this is where we're gonna lose him.

Don't y'all be surprised...

but sometimes rabbits in Hazzard...

will turn on the dogs who's chasing them.

They got some mean rabbits in Hazzard.

Hang on.

I'm okay.

Gotta catch up with the ones who got us into this mess.

I want the girl.

What can you like about a girl who waves a gun at you?

I didn't say I liked her.

I just wanna get her across my knee so that I can...

You know what I mean.

Being in trouble when it ain't their fault...

ain't nothing compared...

to having to face Uncle Jesse with it.

We were just victims of circumstance, that's all.

I don't know what's getting into you boys.

One minute you're catfishing, and the next...

you're up the creek with them.

- Now, what's happening? - We're sorry.

Don't be sorry.

I just get loud and nasty when I get to worrying about you boys.

Listen, where do you want me to meet you?

There's a place where me and Luke...

used to play hooky from school.

- I'll tell you where it is. - Don't need to do that.

You boys didn't make a move that I didn't know where.

That would be the old Okmulgee Indian caves.

I'll meet you there.

He knew.

Makes me wonder sometimes.

Boss, I'm innocent.

It was the Duke boys. Them and that Rowby gang.

Now, hand over your gun, Mr. Coltrane.

But I thought I was your buddy, remember?

Oh, I remember.

Hand over your gun, buddy.

Everyone is innocent until proven guilty.

- I want a trial. - A trial?

You want a trial, you got it. Swear in the witness.

Tell the truth, nothing but the truth?

- I do. - He does.

Come to order. This court is now in session.

The witness is the defendant, Mr. Rosco P. Coltrane.

Mr. Coltrane, where did we find the stolen jewels?

Well, in my car... Guilty! Case closed.

Listen, I want to take this to a higher court.

Then get yourself a ladder. Now, hand over your gun.

I have the right to remain silent.

Then shut up and hand over your gun!

Alright.

Cletus, step forward.

I hereby appoint you...

the new Sheriff of Hazzard County.

Buzzard on a buzz saw.

Your first job is gonna help me escort these...

jewels to the Boars Nest for safekeeping.

Oh, Sheriff... I mean... Rosco.

I never wanted to be Sheriff like this.

It's alright, Cletus.

You'll make a fine Sheriff.

I hope so.

I'd be obliged if I could ask your advice from time to time.

Anytime you want.

In fact, I got two pieces of advice for you right now.

One:

Never ask for a raise.

Two:

Be proud of your job.

Yes, sir.

Flash, I guess we're civilians again.

I guess we'll have to go...

get those Dukes and bring them back...

and make them talk and prove we're innocent.

Let's just go get those Duke boys.

Well, now it's the Sheriff.

Well, Flash, this is embarrassing, isn't it?

What happened to him?

Who cares?

It's that fat little marshmallow with our jewelry we want.

We're gonna get him.

Out at the Okamulgee Indian caves...

the Dukes were mulling over the best way...

for Bo and Luke to prove...

they didn't have anything to do with that jewelry heist.

I don't know no way for you boys to get out of this thing.

We didn't have nothing to do with them jewel thieves.

I know that, Bo.

They're probably long gone out of the country by now.

Without them around...

there's no way you boys is gonna be able to prove...

you had nothing to do with them.

I'd hate to believe you're right, Uncle Jesse.

Luke and me was in the wrong place...

at the wrong time again, is all.

That's right.

You were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Now you all just stay right there.

You didn't think I knew about this hiding place, did you?

Well, I used to come here when I played hooky from school, too.

What in the happened? What are you doing out of uniform?

Never you mind about my uniform.

Flash and me, we're traveling incognito.

And I'm gonna take these boys back and talk to Boss...

so they can explain to him

that I didn't have anything to do with that jewel gang.

- He thinks you're involved? - Oh, yeah.

- He fired you, didn't he? - Yeah.

That's a mighty low thing to do,

especially for his own dang brother-in-law.

Will you hush?

You see, the Boss, he found the jewel bag in my car...

Well, I would have fired me, too.

Rosco.

Do you mean to tell me that you still stick up for J.D.?

Jesse, don't you understand?

He's gonna apologize to Flash and me...

just as soon as I take the boys back and they tell the truth.

Rosco, the truth is we're innocent,

just like we believe you are.

Rosco, just this once...

why don't you and the boys work together...

and prove that none of you had anything

to do with this jewel thieving.

We're willing, if you are.

Oh, no, you don't.

You're not gonna snooker me into that buddy-buddy stuff.

Now, come on, boys, I mean it.

Uncle Jesse, the man just ain't listening.

Now, we're sorry that...

you're not in your uniform anymore

and that you're not the Sheriff no more.

But seeing as how you ain't the Sheriff...

you just got no right at all to take Bo and Luke anywhere.

Wrong!

Listen, I can make a citizen's arrest...

and that's exactly what I am gonna do and that's legal.

And if you don't believe that...

then maybe you'll believe this.

Now, come on. I'm serious.

- Now, come on. - Go for it, boys.

Go!

Sucker!

That's terrible, you know.

Here you go, Rosco.

Thank you. Freeze!

That's the way they went, Flash, huh?

That's a good girl. Attack!

You show no mercy.

There ain't nothing to attack, is there? They're gone.

I didn't mean to scruff you.

Boss Hogg, this is Sheriff Rosco...

This is citizen Rosco P. Coltrane...

calling Boss Hogg. You got your ears on?

Listen, Boss, I'm in hot pursuit of the Duke boys on Route 36.

I need help. Is Cletus around there? Come on.

Mr. Coltrane, this is Mr. Hogg speaking.

You can stop that about chasing your thieving confederates...

'cause I ain't buying!

And I ain't sending my Sheriff out on no wild goose chase.

Over and out.

Come on, Sheriff.

Flash, I guess we'll have to do it ourselves.

That little fat meadow muffin ain't listening to us.

Remember, neighbors...

in Hazzard, just about the time things really get bad...

they usually turn for the worst.

Look out for the rocks, Luke!

Hold on, Flash!

Now, what did I tell you?

What a horrendous near-miss that was.

You alright, Flash?

Rosco looks alright.

But his car is gonna need a little bit of Cooter's TLC.

He finally knows what it's like to be accused

of something you didn't do.

Looks like the only way we'll be able to clear ourselves

is to clear him, too.

The damn fool should just let us do it.

Hold on.

Didn't he say that Boss has the jewels?

Yeah, why?

I got a pretty good feeling...

them thieves ain't gonna leave town

without trying to get them back.

- From Boss Hogg. - Absolutely.

Let's head on back.

Meanwhile, Boss, with Cletus riding shotgun...

headed out to the Boars Nest with the jewelry.

Alright, Burt, stay close but not too close.

Yes, ma'am.

You see what I see coming?

They're heading for the Boars Nest.

From now on, we don't let Boss out of our sight.

Okay.

Son of a gun.

Looks like that sweet little couple is up to the same thing.

Wish I'd get my hands on them and wring the truth out of them.

It wouldn't hold up in court.

Why don't we let them make their own move on Boss?

What, and let them take the jewels?

It'll only be temporary.

When we get them, we get the jewels, the evidence...

Boss has got to let us go, and Rosco, too.

What if it don't work?

We put in to be roommates at the state pen.

While the boys drive overland to the Boars Nest

where at that very moment...

Rosco had to face everybody for the first time as a civilian.

And he felt plum naked.

Right here.

Rosco, I just want to tell you again...

how sorry I am you ain't Sheriff no more.

Well, it's thanks to your boys, Jesse.

They offered to help you.

You'd have no part of it.

You didn't want...

any of that "buddy-buddy stuff," you said.

Oh, hush, you old goat.

I'm not gonna buy any of that succotash.

I'm not asking for any of you Dukes to feel sorry for me.

Rosco, even the Davenports feel sorry for you.

Well, if you feel so sorry for me

tell me where Bo and Luke Duke is.

We ain't that sorry.

Here they come.

Area secure, Cousin Boss, sir.

Alright, let me out.

Listen, Lori Mae, honey.

Would you fetch me a cold ginger beer?

I'd appreciate it.

Can't do it, Rosco.

Why not?

Boss Hogg said you weren't to be served.

He said that about me?

I'm real sorry.

Will everybody stop feeling sorry for me?

Just... Just bring me a drink of water.

And would you bring one for Flash, too?

Boss Hogg said not even water.

Well, he certainly doesn't mind if we just sit here, does he?

Well, as a matter of fact... We're gone.

Here you go.

Have mine.

No, I don't want that slop.

It's probably flatter than yesterday's Frisbee, anyway.

Well, if that's the way you feel.

Terrible, ain't it?

Yeah, it's just terrible.

Yeah, well, I knew it's slop.

We're gonna have to see what we can do about that.

Yes siree Bob, Cletus.

This is what life is all about.

Drop that gun!

And you, hand over them jewels.

What jewels?

The ones under your little fat belly.

Y'all ought to see them boys play pinball.

Down on the floor, both of you. Face down.

Yeah, but, honey...

I just had this suit cleaned from the last time you did this.

- Down! - Yes, sure.

You both count to 100 before you start to move. You hear?

'Cause we might be right behind you.

- Count! - Alright.

- One. - One.

- Two. - Two.

- Three. - Three.

- Four. - Four.

- Five. - Five.

You idiot!

Now wait a minute, honey. This ain't my fault.

What do we do?

Borrow another one.

Ten, 15, 20, 30, 50, 80, 100.

- Nine. - Cletus!

You're only on nine?

- Yeah. - But I'm done.

That's cheating, not to mention dangerous.

Well, we're gonna leave, Flash and I.

We're gonna just get on out of here.

We ain't got time to sit around and drink that slop.

We got to sniff those Duke boys out.

We'll sniff them out.

Come on.

Come on, hurry up.

You're getting heavier every minute...

of your life, I do believe, Flash.

Will you shut up and let's go get them jewels!

Twelve.

Rosco.

Howdy, Sheriff.

You!

Get in.

Listen.

That's a pistol. Listen...

- Can I... - Just shut up and drive.

I'll take you someplace.

They got Rosco.

Let's cut him off.

Rosco! He's driving the getaway car this time!

Come on. Look at that!

They're being followed by the rest of their gang...

the Duke boys. Come on.

Come on, now.

Alright, move it.

Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!

Move this car back. You move out.

You move out. Come on.

There!

Hold it!

Look out, that's Cletus driving.

Now friends, those are three determined people.

Move it, will you?

Come on.

- Look where you're going! - I'm okay.

Cletus, you lugnut!

I'd like to know who's chasing who.

That's better.

You let those boys get any closer...

you and your dog just seen your last day, you hear?

You'd better step on it, Sheriff.

How come Rosco never drives that good when he's chasing us?

I guess you always drive better when you're being chased.

I guess.

I got an idea.

And the idea was Uncle Jesse...

who was just heading back home.

Shepherd, this here is Lost Sheep, do you read me?

What's your 20?

I'm just going by the old Picard place.

Alright, here's the plan.

After telling Jesse about Rosco's trouble...

old Luke figured he'd put an extra rut in the road...

by having Jesse set up a roadblock.

She wouldn't.

She would.

Is that any way to treat your fellow criminals?

They ain't no friends of ours.

They ain't?

Good, then they must be mine.

- Stay on the road. - I'm trying.

Lady, if you stop shooting, I'll tell you what I'll do.

I'll take you someplace where nobody will be able to find you.

Hey! What about them?

Oh, listen. They are good old boys.

I can talk some sense into them if you let me use the CB.

Better start squawking now, Sheriff.

Better make it good.

I will.

Bo and Luke, this is Sheriff...

This is Rosco. You got your ears on?

- Luke here, Rosco. You alright? - Never mind me.

Listen, back off, boys.

You'll get yourself shot.

We're gonna take our chances. You hang in there.

Listen, now, don't give me a hard time.

I mean this and that's an order

even if I am not Sheriff any more. Back off.

I can't leave you. Sorry, Rosco.

Uncle Jesse taught them that.

You got to make some tough decisions once in a while.

It ain't easy being a Duke.

Well, it ain't no skin off my posterior. Go ahead and shoot.

Let them have it, honey.

Alright!

Alright.

Hold it right there. Get out of there.

Come on out. Stand right there.

Come on.

Alright.

Good job, Rosco.

Alright, Rosco.

We couldn't have done it better ourselves.

Where's the jewels?

Right here.

Oh, Flash. Very alert.

Ever alert.

You're gonna be a real hero in Boss' eyes now.

Listen, boys, now...

I'm terribly sorry. I know you're innocent.

Well, I just don't know how to say I'm sorry.

Would you forget it?

You got anything to say, say it to Boss...

when he pins that nice shiny badge back for giving him these.

He will, won't he?

Ain't no way he can claim we was part of that gang now.

Think again. All of you.

You take us in, you're going down with us.

There ain't no way you can make him do that, lady.

If you don't let us go, we're gonna tell the whole world...

you and these country boys here were in on everything with us.

Are you kidding, lady? You just hush.

Ain't nobody gonna listen to that titivating drivel.

- Except Boss Hogg. - Except Boss Hogg?

Especially that part about me and Luke.

Lady, you can tell the whole world exactly what you want.

We're just gonna have to take that chance.

Come on boys, we'd better call in.

Call in?

Yes, call in.

Wait a minute.

Hold it right there. Don't you...

- You sure about this, Luke? - Yeah.

Now, Luke's plan had four things wrong with it:

One: It was hard. Two: It was dangerous.

And three: It had no guarantee.

And four: Rosco liked it.

Uncle Jesse, you got your ears on? Listen up.

Get everybody in town to turn their CBs on...

and keep the channel open. Might hear something interesting.

I read you loud and clear, Luke.

I'll get on it right away. You two be careful, you hear?

Alright, you two, get over here.

If they give you any trouble, cuff them and stuff them.

I'm on my way back to get these jewels to the Boss.

Rosco was to return to Boss, taking the jewelry with him...

while Bo and Luke took them Rowbys along with them.

Are you going to get in the car

or are we gonna have to stuff you in?

But not before contacting Uncle Jesse,

filling him in on what's he supposed to do.

Town of Hazzard. This is Jesse Duke.

You got your ears on out there? I wanna talk to you.

Those of you who got your ears on, go tell your neighbors...

I got something to tell all of you.

Yeah, that's right, Enos.

Everybody you can reach, tell them Channel 22.

Thanks.

Let's foot it, Flash.

I'm gonna walk right into Boss' office and say:

"alright, Boss.

"Here's every teeny little piece of jewelry you think I stole."

No. I walk right in, I say:

"alright, Boss."

Cletus, you're a real lugnut, you know that?

You took your car and you almost made me destroy mine.

Alright, Boss.

Here is every teeny-tiny little piece of jewelry that...

that crooked couple stole in Nashville.

Give me that!

I'm not asking for any reward money.

But I'm asking for my job back and I do get that back, right?

- Wrong. - Wrong?

Right.

I see your game.

I see right through you.

First, you double-cross me.

And now, you're double-crossing your own confederates in crime

namely the Duke boys, to gain my favor.

It ain't gonna work, Mr. Coltrane.

Cletus, escort this civilian to the hoosegow.

And his dog, too.

Cletus, take your clammy cabbage collectors off of me.

Will you just hush?

The Duke family told me you wouldn't listen to us.

Bo and Luke Duke...

this is Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane.

We're ready on this end when you are.

We're ready here, Rosco.

- Uncle Jesse? - The whole town is waiting.

Then it's a go.

Anytime you're ready, Cousin.

Slow this thing down, just a little bit?

What are you trying to do? Kill us?

Now this picturesque spot used to be the old Ridgerunner Road.

Pretty, ain't it?

I see you didn't bring your camera.

Take this thing down.

Come on, straighten it out.

It's fun.

What are you trying to do? Kill us?

Now, why would we want to do that for?

If you get hurt, there'd be nobody to tell the truth, right?

Everybody knows it was y'all that stole them jewels.

That ain't no big secret, buddy.

Shut up, Burt.

What everybody'd like to know is

who else helped you two pull that robbery?

It was actually...

Burt, I can't quite hear you. You'll have to speak up.

I said, keep your mouth shut.

Bo, I do believe these folks would like to see Wilton Bridge.

I bet they would.

The trouble with the bridge is it got washed out in the flood.

Of course, we can't jump it. Don't matter much to us.

We'd rather die than go to prison.

Wilton Bridge dead ahead.

That road crew still ain't fixed it.

Will somebody please stop this car?

We couldn't do that, Burt, then you'd miss all the fun.

Somebody please help him set this thing down.

Put it down!

Please, let me out of this car!

Who helped you two steal that jewelry?

Nobody, man. I swear.

Shut up. I'm gonna tell the truth.

We did this all by ourselves. Nobody helped us.

Just let me out of here!

We did it all alone. All by ourselves.

Sheriff Rosco had nothing do with it, right?

Yeah, you got it right. Nobody did it except us.

Alright!

Alright, folks, story's over, let's go home.

Hazzard just heard the Lost Sheep. We're coming on home.

Well, with the whole town CB witnesses to the confession

Boss had no choice but to drop the charges against the Dukes.

Alright, Cletus, take them inside.

And stuff them and cuff them.

But they are already cuffed.

Well, then just stuff them.

Let's go.

Rosco, I do believe that I owe you an apology.

Boss, what you owe me is my badge.

Yeah, you'll get it.

I appreciate that.

You're reinstated.

I'm gonna give you something else, too.

A fair share of that reward money.

Really? 50-50?

Are you going disloyal on me again?

- I don't want to... - 60-40?

70-30?

90-10?

That's how you...

And about that money Rosco and Boss were gonna split...

Mama Lulu got to it first.

But Bo and Luke were off the hook.

Jesse was the only one who got stuffed.

Can't you get these unwelded?

You'll fit in there.

- Oh, dear. - I've got an idea.

What's that?

We'll weld the door shut on his pickup truck.