Original subtitles

Just'a good ol' boys Never meanin' no harm

Beats all you never saw, been in trouble with the law

Since the day they was born

Straightenin' the curve

Flattenin' the hills

Someday the mountain might get 'em, but the law never will

Makin' their way The only way they know how

That's just a little bit more than the law will allow

Just'a good ol' boys

Wouldn't change if they could

Fightin' the system like a two modern-day Robin Hood

Yee-haw!

D'y'all ever have one of 'em days...

when everything was clicking along peaceful and perfect...

just waitin' to go wrong.

Well, the Dukes have a lot of days like that...

and this one is no different.

The road's getting as crowded as the Indianapolis 500.

Get over!

The joker trying to pass us is liable to sprout wings.

It's dead man's curve better than 20 miles an hour.

Get over!

Lady's in trouble, you better speed up, Luke.

You got it.

You pull alongside and hold her steady. I'll see what I can do.

- You be careful now. - Yes, sir.

Them Duke boys cut their teeth on them

Saturday afternoon cowboy movies.

Looks like some of it rubbed off.

You'll be alright, I'll take care of it. Slide on over.

- You got it? - I got it.

It ain't no use. We'll have to grind it to a stop.

Hang on, Uncle Jesse. I'm going to try and slow them down.

Don't worry about a thing, hang on.

Right, just a hair.

Yeah, you got 'em now.

I told you we'd slow down.

Let me out of here!

- Are you alright, ma'am? - Oh, I think so.

Thanks to all of you.

- Lucinda. - Jesse.

Looks like the boys' interest in women runs in the family.

Old Jesse is a Duke boy, too, you know.

- You look as beautiful as ever. - You haven't changed either.

Except maybe your beard is a little white.

You gonna introduce us to the lady?

Excuse me, I was so taken aback I forgot my manners.

Now, Lucinda, these here are my nephews.

That there is Luke and the other is Bo.

- Hi, boys. - Boys, this is Lucinda Meadows.

- How do you do? - Glad to meet you.

She's the first lady I ever courted in my whole life.

And I wasn't the only one.

J.D. Hogg, he courted you some, too.

Between J.D. and Uncle Jesse...

I'm surprised you escaped unscathed.

As I recall, they were all so busy arguing at that time...

Cyrus just sweet-talked me into eloping with him.

A lot of water has run up the creek since then.

Looks like we have an awful lot of catching up to do.

There you are.

Let's get you towed over to Cooter's garage...

and the repairs are on me. Now we'll just take...

Don't just stand there.

Let's get this car cinched up and get it to Cooter's.

I'll ride with you. We can talk.

Good.

I ain't never seen Uncle Jesse act like that before.

You've never seen him around a pretty widow woman either.

Cletus Hogg, with this badge I thee appoint...

official temporary acting sheriff of Hazzard County.

- How do you feel? - I like that.

You sure you know what you're doing?

Two sheriffs? What's Rosco gonna say?

Nothing, because he ain't here.

Don't you remember what I told you?

Rosco and that helpless hound of his, Flash...

they both went over to Capitol City...

for obedience training.

But Rosco doesn't need that. He comes whenever you call.

And you better come when I call you.

Now that you've taken over Rosco's job.

Does that mean I also get to take over Rosco's pay?

That's right. And you also get to take over...

- giving me his kickback. - Kickback.

Come.

Wilbur Fudge, what're you doing here?

Can't you see the boss is busy. Get.

Cletus, now... that's no way to treat

your new official temporary acting deputy.

That's the way I get treated.

But, Boss, I'm the County Controller. I deal with money.

I don't know diddly about law enforcing.

Alright, Wilbur.

You can start right off with your O.J.T.

My O.J.T?

Of course, don't you know your O.J.T?

You got your...

Exactly what is O.J.T., Boss?

- On-the-job training, lug nut. - On-the-job training, dipstick.

We'll start right off by taking that visor off...

and replacing it with your official hat.

- That'll have to do. - Deputy Wilbur Fudge...

consider yourself sworn in till Rosco returns.

- Yes, sir. - Sheriff Cletus Hogg.

- Sir. - Take your deputy in hand.

No, forget it.

Deputy Fudge, your O.J.T. starts right now.

You watch me and do exactly what I do.

Exactly, yes, sir.

Heaven help Hazzard.

Shoot fire and save box matches.

What's the great news, Cooter?

Ma'am, your brakes are completely shot.

It is a wonder y'all made it to Hazzard County.

Well, I put myself in the hands of the Lord...

and he put me in the hands of the Dukes and...

I guess you couldn't get a better combination than that.

Amen.

I'll have to call the hotline, get a brake kit.

This'll take most of the day to get right.

I don't mind. That'll give me time to do some business here.

- Yes, I'll give old Pete a call. - Okay.

Take her easy.

- What's this? - Well, read it.

"June 4, 1940. To Mr. Cyrus Meadows

"I owe you the sum of $5,000 payable on demand

signed, J.D. Hogg. J.D."

- You boys got your earmuffs? - Earmuffs?

He's gonna scream to high heaven when he sees this.

$5,000!

Lucinda Meadows... my old, own Lucy Ducy.

I just can't believe that the gal I loved and cherished so...

would come back to town after 40 years

and show me a thing like that.

Honey, you sure you ain't got me mixed up

with some other old flame?

That's your signature, isn't it?

- This? Couldn't be. - She's got you there, J.D.

Everyone recognizes that chicken scratch of yours.

Cletus, one more squawk outta you about my chicken scratches

- and you'll be a dead duck. - Yes, sir.

Yeah, well, that is my signature.

And you know, honey...

much as this old joker wouldn't mind

doing anything for a girl like you...

I'm afraid the statute of limitations

done run out after the first seven years.

What's that supposed to mean?

Well, discounting the "whereases,"

the "to wits," and "ipso factos"

this note ain't worth the paper it's writ on.

Which means there ain't no way I'm giving you $5,000.

Much as I sure would like to oblige an old sweetheart

in any other way I could.

Now, old Boss didn't become Boss

by hiding behind the door when brains was handed out.

He knew Lucinda wasn't going to forget about that $5,000.

So he kept watch on her with his minion, whatever them is.

Would you pass me the pepper, please?

- Sure. - Thank you.

It's hard for me to believe that J.D. Hogg can't pay you

the money that he owes you.

Not can't. Won't. There's a big difference.

That's a new low, even for Boss Hogg.

Beating Lucinda here out of her retiring money.

Just means I won't retire as soon as I thought.

Now you just hold it right there.

As long as I own this farm or any one of these kids own it...

you got a place to live. You can retire any time you want to.

That stingy old Boss Hogg ain't gonna let her do that.

Now, you just hold it right there.

There's not gonna be any more derogatory talk about J.D. Hogg.

- Yes, sir. - It might curdle the buttermilk.

Bo, you notice anything different around the table?

I mean, besides Miss Lucinda?

No, nothing much, just our cute old Uncle Jesse

over there all gussied up is all.

Wait a minute, I fix up every once in a while.

Especially when there's a lady present.

I like that. What am I, cold grits?

Just hold it right there. Don't you be sassin' your elders.

Let's be figuring out how we're gonna get Lucinda her money.

Don't you fret none, Jesse. Before my Cyrus passed on...

he told me if things ever got rough...

I was to ask you to find me the pot of gold

at the end of the rainbow.

That don't make sense.

"Pot of gold at the end of the rainbow"?

It makes sense if he's talking about the old Rainbow Mine.

Him and me used to run in there

when the revenuers got too close.

But I don't suppose anyone's been in it since.

No wonder. Them abandoned mines are full of...

bats and rats and all kinds of creepy things, like Bo and Luke.

All the same, part of that mine's under Duke property.

Now then, whether we're sitting on a mountain of money...

or a ton of trouble, we best find out what's down there.

Get down.

Remember, as soon as they pass, we follow.

But I don't know anything about following.

Just adding and subtracting. Besides they ain't done nothin'.

But they're gonna. That's why Cousin Boss said to tail them.

We're gonna catch 'em in the act.

Let's go.

You ain't never gonna believe who's behind us.

You remember the guy who used to wander around...

with a calculator all the time?

- The County Controller? - Wilbur, that's him back there.

If there is anything we find in that mine...

I don't want them two lookin' over our shoulders.

- Let's lose them. - Alright.

- Wilbur. - Hit it!

They're lighting out like a pair of bluetail flies

with a bullfrog snapping at their tails.

That's 'cause they're guilty of somethin'.

I better find out what before Cousin Boss drums me out.

I thought you were going to lose them.

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's a side-seat driver.

I'm gonna lose them soon as I pass by the sawmill, alright?

Thank you.

Pay attention. Get the peanut butter out of your ears.

That road doubles back a few 100 yards past the sawmill.

We're just gonna take a shortcut and wait for them.

J.D. HOGG LOGGING & SAWMILL DANGER KEEP OUT

It worked. I told you. It worked.

Cletus, did you hear a funny noise?

Hey, come here.

You think they'll have a two-for-one sale?

Could be.

Come back here! Daggummit.

I told you I heard a funny noise.

Well...

I guess today ain't exactly the right day to ask for a raise.

Knowing the entire sheriff's department...

was otherwise occupied...

ol' Bo and Luke figured it'd be safe enough...

to look for Lucinda's pot of gold...

in the Rainbow Mine.

Seems good enough to me.

- You just lower me down. - You owe me one.

Hang on.

Lower steady now, Luke.

Hold on to your hat now.

Let her down steady, will you, Luke?

Watch out for the sides.

What happened, Luke?

This winch is jammed. I'll see if I can work the rope loose.

You do that, Cousin.

The rope's coming unraveled. Grab onto something!

There ain't nothing to grab on to, Luke.

Well, I reckon he could grab a hold to both sides

and push, real hard.

Here, Bo.

I'm gonna walk down.

- Bo, you alright? - I'm fine.

I'm finally down here at the bottom.

Alright. I'll be right down, you just hang on a second.

I came down a mite faster than I wanted to.

Smells like an old sauerkraut factory in here.

It's moonshine, Luke.

Could be worse.

Holy smoke, look at that.

You know it's sitting right dab under our property?

We get caught with this and there goes our probation.

You don't suppose this is Miss Lucinda's pot of gold, do you?

All nine barrels of it.

It's been sitting here aging

ever since Cyrus Meadows left Hazzard.

Let's get a sample for Uncle Jesse.

Alright.

He oughta tell us how old it is and what we're gonna do with it.

Watch that lantern, we don't want to have an explosion here.

Might be a fire hazard.

That's terrible, it is really terrible.

- That is the worst shine... - That bad, huh?

Bad? That isn't even shine.

Why, that wouldn't even get you boys in trouble. That is...

Miss Lucinda sure ain't turned up no lucky horseshoes lately.

First of, Boss won't pay the IOU...

and now her pot of gold turns into vinegar.

This don't even beat up. I didn't know shine went bad.

Good shine don't.

Good shine turns into a nice...

sipping liquor, like this.

Let's see, I put this down just about the time that...

Cyrus and Lucinda left here.

Now smell it, don't sip it. Just smell it.

You realize, I only put it down for medicinal purposes.

Absolutely.

- Jesse, are you in there? - Yes, ma'am.

Listen, not a word about Cyrus and his rotten whiskey.

She's got a lot of fond memories about them two.

Well, seeing as how y'all been out checking the Rainbow Mine...

I reckon that is a sample of my pot of gold.

- Yes, ma'am. - How much of it is down there?

Well, there's...

Well, there's nine full barrels of that stuff, ma'am.

Isn't that just like my Cyrus?

He promised to take care of me forever.

I reckon he thought that shine would do it.

Now, Lucinda...

If only he hadn't been such a terrible moonshiner.

You knew?

I just made sure that he never knew that I knew.

Boy, is that a relief.

What am I gonna do

with nine full barrels...

of second-grade shine?

You could turn it into gold by selling it to Boss.

I couldn't do that. It wouldn't be fair.

It wouldn't be no more unfair

than him not paying you for that IOU.

And you'd just be collecting your money...

plus maybe a little interest.

But I never thought of it quite like that. I'll try.

- But I wouldn't lie to Boss. - I don't reckon you'd have to.

We just slip him a sip of Jesse's finest here

and he'd be so busy counting his profits

he wouldn't be listening to you at all.

At all.

You sure you understand what we want you to do

when you get in Boss' office?

You want me to try to turn on his CB without him spotting me.

- Yes, ma'am. - I can't see why.

Call it an insurance policy.

If we hear what kind of deal Boss makes...

we could stop him from getting out of it.

That's mighty kind of you, Lucinda.

I'm right honored to drink a toast to the old days.

Cousin Boss, do you mind if I drink a little old toast

to the old days with y'all?

Cletus, you weren't around in the old days.

I ain't too pleased to have you around in the new days neither.

So get! Move it!

- Sheriff or no sheriff. - Sorry.

And stay out!

What a dipstick. Now, where were we, Lucy Ducy?

Oh, yes, the toast.

To the old days.

Oh, my.

Oh, my!

This is the best sipping shine I ever done tasted.

And I got me nine more big barrels full...

just as old as that sample.

You do?

I don't suppose you'd know somebody who'd want to...

take that off my hands, do you?

Yeah, I know somebody who would, provided the price is right.

But of course I wouldn't...

That is, my friend wouldn't go for more than $60 a barrel.

Oh, I'm sorry, J.D.

But unless you... I mean, your friend...

makes that $600 a barrel...

I guess I'll just have to sell it to somebody else.

$600! But... that comes to $5,400 total!

- Exactly. - Lucinda...

whatever happened to that sweet, kind, and generous girl...

I knowed and loved 40 years ago?

I ain't changed, J.D.

Except maybe I got me 40 more years of smarts behind me.

Shall we say 10% down?

You sure drive a hard bargain.

But just to show I don't hold it against you...

and to prove that hot fire between us...

ain't all ashes yet...

- what do you say to 50% down? - 50?

Fifty percent?

You don't suppose Boss Hogg's changing his wicked ways?

I'll believe it when I see the color of his money.

Well, well. There we are, my dear.

$5,000 in new bills.

I can't believe it.

$400 more from petty cash.

Now, then... that's a total of $5,400.

And how much did I promise I'd give you?

Half.

Then, lover, that's exactly what you're gonna get.

Miss Lucinda and the boys...

wasn't past spitting distance from the Boars Nest...

when Boss started adding up the profits.

2,475 fifths... and times $20 a fifth...

The way you make your fat little fingers fly...

it's amazing they don't fall off from exhaustion.

That gives us, meaning mainly me...

a clear profit of... $49,500.

- Just for openers. - What about for closers?

For closers, there's no way

Lucinda can heft that shine all by herself...

so she'll have the Duke boys deliver it to the Boars Nest...

where you will be waiting.

- I will? What for? - What for?

To catch them in the act and arrest them.

I knew you were gonna say that.

As soon as the boys are back in the federal pen...

you'll make all the evidence...

meaning that nine barrels of shine...

mysteriously disappear.

- I will? - Yes, you.

Cousin Boss, I can't drink that much.

Forget it.

Let me see that.

I knew we were in trouble...

the minute he offered you 50% of the shine money.

He knows you can't cash your half till you get a hold of his.

That won't be till they deliver the shine at the Boars Nest...

3:00 tomorrow.

Boss had put out the word...

that he was gonna sell nine barrels...

of the world's best shine.

But there was only one buyer.

The others have been eliminated by mean Joe Hatcher.

This here is Joe Hatcher.

We're heading down to Hazzard.

I'm calling to let you know we'll pay your price.

Oh, isn't that a coincidence, Hatcher?

I was just about to sell that load of shine...

to one of your competitors.

We ain't got any competitors.

Now you listen here, if that stuff...

ain't as good as you say it is

you're liable to wind up the river wearing cement shoes.

Cement shoes?

Well, don't you worry, Hatcher.

I mean, Mr. Hatcher.

That merchandise will be waiting for you tomorrow afternoon...

at 3:00 sharp.

- Bye. - Bye.

3:00 sharp? Ain't you rushing things a mite?

We got to catch the Dukes before we can get the shine.

You know how hard that is, look at Rosco.

Yeah, you wanna know why?

It's on account of his foolish methods are behind the times.

I bet neither of you could tell a bug when you see it.

I sure can. There's ants and crickets...

No, I mean these.

- Them's bugs? - Yeah, electronic bugs.

Magnetic beepers.

All you gotta do is slap one of these bugs...

under the front fender of all the Duke vehicles. Like this.

When they talk about where they're going...

that little light start blinking like that.

Then we can follow them.

No matter which car they take to find that shine.

Yes, sirree, Bob.

Once you slap these bugs in place...

them Duke's as good as gone.

You know, night in Hazzard County...

brings out a lot of strange critters.

Even a Cletus.

Well, Lucinda...

it's been a long time since you and me...

sat on the porch swing and sparked.

I remember.

There are some things you just never forget.

Y'all, I think this is gettin' serious.

They're holding hands now.

Bo Duke, shame on you.

Spying on them like that.

Ain't you never hear of "ladies first"?

Go ahead.

So, after Martha passed away...

without the boys and Daisy to look after...

I would have just gone plumb crazy.

Do you hear that, Jesse?

Yes. Probably some varmint just come down for...

free lunch.

It's a big varmint.

I'll scare him.

The things a fellow has to do to keep on being a Hogg.

Sorry, General.

This is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you.

That ain't no ordinary varmint.

I can't swim. I can't swim.

Sounds big enough to be a jackass.

Looks like a load of buckshot...

just heading for the south end...

of a north-bound mule.

Well, it is a jackass with a badge on.

It's a Hazzard attack.

Well, now, don't shoot anymore.

Okay, okay. I surrender. I surrender.

Stop, I'm okay.

Alright! Just quit playing around and let's see who you...

- It's Cletus. - Cletus?

What's this world coming to?

The temporary acting sheriff...

skulking around like a weasel in a hen house.

We got a half mind to make a citizen's arrest, Cletus.

Oh, no, don't do that. Cousin Boss would kill me.

What do you think I'm gonna do?

Now, I got another round of buckshot in this gun.

And my trigger finger's is just aching...

to put it in the seat of your pants.

Well, now, Uncle Jesse, can't we just...

No, I guess we can't.

Look at him go.

You weren't even aiming near him.

He sure has an active imagination.

He's got a guilty conscience, that's what he's got.

He wouldn't be out here unless J.D. Hogg sent him.

That means he's gonna be bird-dogging us day and night.

Sooner we get Miss Lucinda's shine off the farm, the better.

It's the only way to stop him from jailing us.

That's $45 from the speed trap. Not bad.

$15 for parking next to a phony fireplug. Terrible.

Various and sundry kickbacks: $72.50.

Hatcher... Mr. Hatcher.

What are you fellows doing here today?

Well, we figured we'd all sleep lot easier...

if we took that sipping shine off your hands right now.

Well, I wasn't supposed to make delivery till tomorrow.

I haven't got it here, right here and now.

Do you believe that, Hatch?

Look's like I got to...

considering Boss knows...

I'll break every bone in his fat head...

if anything fouls up.

Mr. Hatcher, you could sleep easy tonight...

'cause there ain't gonna be no foul.

You bet there ain't 'cause we're gonna sample...

every last one of them of them barrels.

And if that sipping shine don't measure up to your claims...

Now, I don't want you boys to take any chances.

Make sure you're not followed and get that shine off...

and out from under our property as quick as possible.

Uncle Jesse, don't worry about us.

We ain't hankering to spend the next 10 years in prison.

We'll stash that stuff in the woods behind Watkin's Road.

At least till Miss Lucinda gets the other half of bank bills.

We'll worry about delivering it to the Boars Nest later on.

Alright now, wish us luck.

- Oh, honey, good luck. - Thank you.

Be careful.

Yes, sir.

I don't know, Uncle Jesse...

but I have a feeling I better tag along...

just in case something goes wrong.

So I'll see y'all later, bye.

You ought to be mighty proud of that girl, Jesse.

- She's got plenty of spunk. - Yeah, I know.

She reminds me of you when you were her age.

Well, got my chores.

Shush.

Call. Guess I win. Full house.

You lose, I got five aces.

- Deuce is wild. - You didn't tell me that.

Look, my beeper bug is working.

- Look at that. - Two of them.

Two of them now, headed right for that shine.

How are we gonna know which to follow...

when we don't know which way they're going?

That's easy, we'll just ask Wilbur.

He's got them beeper lights in his car, just like us.

This is J.D. Hogg calling Deputy Wilbur Fudge.

You got your ears unclogged? Over.

I'm listening, Boss.

And them beeps are getting louder every minute.

Well, that means you're closing in on them.

Now, where exactly are you? Over.

I'm going north on Old Country Road.

But that peters out about 20 miles up ahead.

All I know is we got them cornered.

Now you listen and listen good.

If you spot them Dukes in the flesh...

you just hold back till we get there.

I wanna make dang sure we catch them with the evidence.

Come on, Sheriff, let's go.

Right behind you.

And there's Boss' evidence.

Miss Lucinda's legacy.

Mean Joe Hatcher's sipping shine.

And it ain't fit to drink.

But it is good enough to get the Dukes some time...

in the jailhouse.

- Alright, you ready? - Yeah.

Swing it around.

Well, that's six up with only three left.

No sweat.

I haven't seen hide nor hair of anybody chasing us yet.

Come on, can't you go faster?

I don't trust that Wilbur none.

I'm sure he won't wait, we won't get that evidence.

You know, for a road that peters out...

it sure had plenty of traffic.

Boss, this is Wilbur.

Beeps sound like the bell on my typewriter. What should I do?

Don't do anything, you dipstick.

Until me and the other dipstick catch up with you.

- Do you hear? - Thanks, Boss.

Boy, that was hard work.

I think I'd go there under that tree

and lay down for a couple of hours. Go to sleep.

I wish I was asleep and this was just a bad dream.

Let's cut them off there. That way, they won't see the pickup.

Not so fast, boys.

I'll have to run you in. Wilbur, slap the cuffs on them.

The only thing I know how to work is the pencil sharpener.

Wilbur, you are a waste of space.

Well, well, well, well.

Lookie over there.

What you boys been doing? A little moonshining?

Well, I just don't know how to thank you enough.

For delivering yourselves, and all that evidence...

right into our hands.

Looks like he got us for sure this time.

Just 'cause our luck ran out...

don't mean we still can't help Miss Lucinda.

Alright, Boss, you got your shine...

how about handing over the other half of those bills.

Hand over...

Entrusting good money to the criminal element?

Booze breath! I ain't gone that crazy yet.

Alright, have it your own way.

But if we can't have this half of the money...

you won't get yours either.

That way you won't be able to cash your half.

- You can't do that. - Wait, that's over $5,000!

Wait a minute. Wait a minute, here, take it.

Burning money is against my religion.

You ain't getting away with nothing. No, sir.

I'm gonna have the judge, namely me...

fine you $5,000 before he sends you back to the pen.

Reckon this here is a case of a moving force...

meeting an irresistible object.

I'm betting on the truck.

Unless Boss has had dinner.

- Boss, you alright? - Alright?

How can I be alright with 200 pounds of Duke...

crushing my gizzard.

I'm sorry, Boss, just trying to help.

Help?

Cousin Boss, I wouldn't be talking like that if I were you.

- Yeah. - If it weren't for Luke...

you'd be knocking on the Pearly Gates.

Yeah. He only did it hoping I'd drop all the charges.

But I got too much evidence.

The evidence! While we're jawing here...

that shine is getting away at more than 50 miles an hour.

- Do something. - Do something, dipstick.

Your car is over there. Will you get going?

By the time they finish dancing, that pickup'll be out of here.

Let's go.

Hop out, Alex. We're gonna have to borrow your wheels.

Stay right where you are, Alex.

I ain't about to furnish these boys with a getaway car.

All we got to do is get Uncle Jesse's pickup back.

All you want to get back is that shine. It ain't gonna work.

Nobody's getting their hands on that evidence except me.

No, not again!

Wilbur, you lug nut.

Where did you learn to drive, correspondence school?

What are you waiting for? Till your butt grows roots?

Go on after them!

That's just great.

Boss and Cletus off chasing the evidence...

Wilbur's car is out of commission, and we stand here.

You want a lift or are you gonna hang out here all day?

- Call it. - Heads.

Hey, hey, hey.

Alright, let's go.

Wake up, look out for the motorcycle up there.

I sure hope that they both know where they're going.

So they can meet when they get there.

Uncle Jesse, come in please.

Look out, girls.

Uncle Jesse, Miss Lucinda?

I sure hope one of you is there.

This is Shepherd, anything wrong, Daisy?

Uncle Jesse, everything's wrong.

Somebody just hijacked our pickup.

We're headed south on Old Country Road following them.

Hey, do you think you can head 'em off with the jeep?

I can bust my britches trying. I'm gone.

- 10-4, Uncle Jesse. - Alrighty.

- You stay here. - That's my shine...

they hijacked, and I'm not about to let you or the boys...

pull my chestnuts out of the fire. Let's go.

You were headstrong even in the old days.

Let's go.

Looks like all the Duke boys handle women and cars...

the same way.

You talk about two old boys having a streak of bad luck.

First, if they knew how bad that moonshine was...

they wouldn't be stealing it.

And second, stealing from Boss Hogg in Hazzard...

is like visiting hell and spitting on the Devil.

Cletus, this is J.D. Hogg, listen.

Any sign of that pickup yet?

Not yet, Cousin Boss. But don't you worry none.

There hasn't been a hijacker born

that can get away from me yet.

What do you mean they can't get away from you?

They just did, in a van... you lug nut!

Did you hear that? Boss says they're in a van now.

Luke, look out!

Back her down onto the road. In a few minutes we'll lose them.

Then I ain't got time to back her down. Hang on, Daisy.

Yee-haw!

Come on. Come on, shake a leg!

All them Dukes are beating us to the evidence.

Well, I'm a-shaking.

Uncle Jesse, I don't know what happened to your pickup...

but we're following a blue van with the crooks in it.

You might be able to pick them up at Cherokee Crossing.

Could do it if I quit listening to you and start driving.

I'm gone.

Now you know who taught Bo and Luke to drive the way they do.

See, I told you, you should have stayed back at the farm.

And miss all the fun?

I haven't seen driving like this...

since we was all running shine.

We'll never shake them loose in this bucket of bolts.

Try slowing them down. Throw something in front of them.

All we got back there is that shine.

Well, use it.

It'll still be cheaper than spending 10 years in the pen.

Luke, watch out!

That was close.

Wait a minute, that's all my evidence.

It's a given, Cletus is going to hit it a mite closer.

He did it again.

Get another one going.

We better get outta here before we get that van in our lap.

Blaine?

You alright?

- I got the one on the right. - I get the big one.

Get them!

Come on!

- Ain't you gonna help them? - They'd never forgive me.

Don't you worry. They are pretty good scrappers.

Reckon they take after their uncle when he was their age.

- Cletus. - What?

You arrest them moonshining Dukes...

while I confiscate what's left of the evidence.

Got you!

Boys, there's one barrel left.

We better beat Boss to it.

No!

My shine, all my evidence.

In smithereens.

Cletus!

Cletus!

These arrows ought to go through the barrel.

You hit it from the left, I'll get it from the right.

Look at that, all my evidence.

Seeping away in a hundred directions.

Except that one barrelful.

- Hallelujah. - Hallelujah.

Come on, come on. Come on, Cletus.

Oh, no, look what they are doing.

Better than target practice, ain't it, Luke?

Oh, looky. Look at that.

They're making all the shine seep out. Quick.

Plug up the holes. Take out the arrows.

Alright.

- I got my two. - I got these two.

Keep it plugged.

What about these other two arrows?

Come over here and help me, will you? Come over here.

- You left the other two. - I know.

There's more of them here.

Come on. Get over there and plug those two.

I guess that takes care of all the evidence.

- We're sorry about the shine. - That's alright, boys.

It ain't often I get to treat an old friend like J.D. Hogg...

with a $5,400 shower.

Dang this thing. The shine is all seeped out.

Dagblast it all!

Look at that.

There wasn't even a drop of shine left...

for old Boss to drown his sorrows.

Which probably saved him from being poisoned.

Seeing as how Emery made the arrest...

he was in line for a nice reward.

Since he wasn't a regular deputy.

Lucinda could have some fun pasting the money together.

Which sure beats doing the crossword puzzle.

Goodbye, darling, it was wonderful.

- Our pleasure. - It's been a pleasure.

You know, friends, kissing is like riding a bicycle.

You never forget how.

Even in Hazzard County.