Original subtitles

♪ JUST A-GOOD OLD BOYS ♪

♪ NEVER MEANIN' NO HARM ♪

♪ BEATS ALL YOU NEVER SAW ♪

♪ BEEN IN TROUBLE WITH THE LAW ♪

♪ SINCE THE DAY THEY WAS BORN ♪

♪ STRAIGHTENIN' THE CURVES ♪

♪ FLATTENIN' THE HILLS ♪

♪ SOME DAY THE MOUNTAIN MIGHT GET 'EM ♪

♪ BUT THE LAW NEVER WILL ♪

♪ MAKIN' THEIR WAY ♪

♪ THE ONLY WAY THEY KNOW HOW ♪

♪ THAT'S JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE ♪

♪ THAN THE LAW WILL ALLOW ♪

♪ JUST A-GOOD OLD BOYS ♪

♪ WOULDN'T CHANGE IF THEY COULD ♪

♪ FIGHTIN' THE SYSTEM ♪

♪ LIKE TWO MODERN-DAY ROBIN HOODS ♪

Yee-haw!

♪ Where, where are you tonight? ♪

♪ Why did you leave me here all alone? ♪

♪ I searched the world over and thought I found true love ♪

♪ You met another and phht you was gone ♪♪

Now, friends, this meeting...

of the Hazzard County Two-Part Harmony...

and Crawfish Chowder Society would lead you to think...

that the Duke boys have got the world...

by the tail on a downhill pull.

But it ain't so.

Hey, Flash, did you see the Duke boys...

violate that little baby bird sanctuary?

Now, listen here.

Don't you go fussing at me.

Anyway, I got them.

I love this.

Well, looks like we've got one Rosco P. Coltrane.

And his faithful dog, Flash.

- Looks like he wants us. - Why don't we find out how bad?

- And what for. - Hang on.

Bye, Rosco!

Alright, looks like we lost Rosco.

You never lose him, Cousin, you just kind of misplace him.

When I get... I'm gonna...

Mangy tire here, it's got...

- Morning, neighbor. - Good morning, brother.

Hey, how y'all doing?

Have you seen these folks around these parts anywhere?

Let me see, here.

No, I can't say that I really have.

What did you say their name was?

Benson, Josiah Benson.

No, sir. I ain't never heard of them, neither.

Sorry.

- Much obliged. - Sure thing.

Y'all take it easy, now.

Well, startin' to look real good, Mr. Benson.

Excuse me, Mr. Venable.

- Maybe this time it's for keeps. - Yeah.

It is, Daddy. I've got real good feelings about Hazzard.

Yes, if you need anything, just give me a call.

Thank y'all. Bye-bye.

You know, those guys are pretty nice...

for federal agents, that is.

Yeah, I guess.

That man ain't all smiles and sweetness.

And he's got reason.

Remember the Dixie Davis kidnapping?

Well, Venable, his name was Josiah Benson then...

worked for a private security service.

He was hired by Davis to deliver the ransom.

- Diamonds, $1 million worth. - $2 million.

They blindfolded him, but he got a gander at Mr. Big.

Uh-huh.

We picked up Zender

and Benson testified against him.

Which is why Uncle Sammy changed his name and relocated him.

And he's still ducking shadows. Why?

The diamonds. They were never recovered.

Hickey, ain't we been chasing rumors long enough?

We'll just check out a few more locals...

and if we come up empty...

we pull up stakes and move on into Tennessee.

That ain't gonna make the Company too happy.

We been tracking them Bensons and the diamonds a long spell.

Leroy, nobody said the bounty hunting business was easy.

Get in.

Let's cut through the old Gaylord farm...

and double back on Mill Creek Road.

- You got it. - Alright.

Cut through here.

Look out!

I thought you said this place was deserted...

nobody lived here no more.

Yeah, well, even a Duke can be wrong.

Help! Help me!

- Hold on a second. - Ooh! Help.

- Are you alright? - I think so.

We're real sorry.

We didn't know folks were living around here no more.

- Esther, what's going on? - Oh, Papa, it's alright.

These here are...

Bo and Luke Duke, sir. From down the road a piece.

We don't cotton much to strangers.

Our Uncle Jesse always taught us that a stranger is...

just a friend you ain't met yet, sir.

I kind of like that.

Look, we'll clean up the mess we made...

and we'll repair whatever needs fixing.

You folks must've just moved in, uh, Mr...

Venable. We've been here close on a month.

I can't remember seeing y'all in town.

Well, we ain't been to town yet. You see...

- Our car is broke. - Well, I'll tell you what.

Why don't you let us give you a ride into town...

we'll show you around.

We'll pick up what we need to fix the mess we made.

And when we get back, maybe we can look at the car.

Thank you, son, but we got things to do here.

- Papa! Excuse me. - Sure.

Papa, if we're gonna settle down here in Hazzard...

we're gonna have to get to town sooner or later.

I mean, well, we're near about out of everything.

Old man sure gives me a strange feeling, Luke.

How about his daughter?

She gives me a feeling, too. It just ain't quite so strange.

Alright, honey.

We accept your kind invite.

I'll just put some of this laundry away.

It's alright. We'll clean this up. You go ahead.

If Uncle Jesse had knowed what grief the Venables...

was going to bring to his family...

well, he might've reconsidered about a stranger...

being a friend that he'd never met.

You're gonna call that Hogg Heights?

Yeah, Hogg Heights. My new development.

Oh, hello, Cyrus. I'm ready to buy the Gaylord farm today.

You sold it? To who?

Cyrus, didn't you remember I told you to hold that farm...

off the market till I was ready for it?

You forgot? Well, I ain't gonna forget the first of the month...

when I raise the interest rates on your loan!

Old Cyrus, that old coot...

he sold the Gaylord farm to someone called Adam Venable.

Oh, that's a shame.

And now, all my plans and visions for Hogg Heights...

all my dreams, and all my aspirations...

have just gone up in smoke.

Here's to many happy years in Hazzard County.

- Yes, sir. - Here's to that.

Is everybody in Hazzard as friendly...

and nice as your cousin Daisy?

Nearly about.

There are a few exceptions.

Alright, I got you.

Here's one of them.

I got you. Here you go.

- That's a summons. - That's right.

For illegally entering a bird sanctuary?

That's right, and here's the hard evidence.

- Ha ha ha. - Oh, come on.

- No laughing matter... - Rosco!

What're you doing with my fancy feathers...

from my duster? Shame on you!

What's Mr. Venable here gonna think of our police department?

- Mr. Venable? - Mr. Venable. That's right.

Mr. Venable!

- Mr. Venable, how do you do? - How do you do?

- My name is Hogg. J.D. Hogg. - I'm Adam Venable.

Are you related to that good old Venable family in Gerald City?

- I'm from Harperville, Mr. Hogg. - You are?

Anyhow, I understand that you've just bought...

the Gaylord farm, didn't you?

- That's right. - Yeah.

Oh, Sir, somebody sure done you no favor.

That's a real harsh scrap of a place.

You're gonna be miserable there.

There ain't even no water on that property.

- No water? - We're digging for it now.

Well, you ain't gonna find any!

Mr. Venable, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do for you.

I'm gonna make you a very generous offer.

I'm gonna take and buy that useless farm...

right off your hands...

at a very generous profit to you.

Thank you, Mr. Hogg...

but I think we're fixing to stay on that farm. Come on, Esther.

Yeah, but, Mr... Mr... Mr-Mr...

I don't think he liked your offer.

- Yeah, I know why. - Why?

Because, he's greedy.

Them Duke boys was raised to take being good neighbors...

very serious.

Old Bo even gives it a personal touch.

There's the Hazzard County bijou.

What do you think?

Well, let's take us a closer look-see.

- We're all ready. - Here's Uncle Jesse.

I want you to meet him. You're gonna love him.

Uncle Jesse, hey!

Where in tarnation you boys been?

Now, y'all don't let this friendly little bit...

of Hazzard socializing fool you.

The wolves have found the spoor.

And they do know their business.

You know what, Hickey?

Take away his beard and mustache...

add a couple of years to the gal...

them could be the Bensons.

Yeah, could be.

More than that for sure.

They took over the old Gaylord farm.

- Good. - Tell you what.

Me and Bo will go start with the fencing...

and you two can do some shopping here.

- Alright. - Sounds like fun.

Uncle Jesse'd be glad to show you around town.

Glad to. And I could take you home later.

Good.

But listen, let Uncle Jesse do all the dickering for you.

Pretty slick horse trader.

Later on.

What is it that you needed most?

Let's follow them boys home. Then we'll know for sure.

Now that ain't no good sign:

old Boss Hogg eating while he's thinking.

I don't know why, but something always happens...

and it's usually bad.

I got it! I got it!

My dream of condominiums on Hogg Heights ain't dead yet.

I'll tell you one thing:

They sure don't know a dang thing about farming.

- You know how to use that thing? - Soon as we get this fixed...

clean up all the mess you made, and take care of that car...

- We can help them dig for water. - Yeah, you got it.

Leroy.

Looky here. This little goose just did some honking.

"J.B." Josiah Benson.

But where are the diamonds?

And he ain't about to tell us.

Maybe he will, Leroy. Maybe he will.

That there is a listening device.

Some folks call it a bug.

And it don't eat crops.

But it's gonna cause trouble for the Dukes.

- How does she look now, Luke? - You don't wanna know.

No, it ain't too bad. Let's take a look at the car now.

- Looks a little dirty. - Sure, you got that right.

He dropped his license plate.

Hey, fellas!

Hey, fellas, you lost your license plate!

Why don't you pick me up? We can catch up and give it to them.

Alright, there they are.

Hey, blow the horn, Luke.

It's them hayseeds. They must've seen us. Burn rubber, Leroy.

Luke, why aren't they slowing down?

Put that away, Leroy.

We ought to be able to get 'em on the next turn.

Now, Leroy!

Look out!

Y'all realize that all this started...

with Bo and Luke helping the neighbor build a fence?

Now I know how Cletus feels when he's chasing us.

What I can't figure out is why them guys...

is running away from you and me.

Ain't got no idea.

- I see you've fixed my fence. - What's that thing?

It's a license plate. Fell off a van going by the house.

We chased it down but they lost us.

The way they took off, you'd think they was Bonnie and Clyde.

- That van, where was it at? - Over there, behind the house.

- Behind the house? - Yes, sir.

It took off down Abernathy road.

There was a couple of guys in it.

- You got no reason to suspect... - Come on, sugar.

Everything is just the way we left it, ain't it, Pa?

It seems so.

I'd hate to think there's a thief in Hazzard County.

Leastwise, one we don't know about.

I'd best bring in them supplies.

Why don't I give you a hand?

Them diamonds are there, Leroy.

I can tell it by the worry in the old man's voice.

Nothing wrong with that.

Now, let's see.

If a man named Venable says his car don't work and it does...

and you find out his name ain't Venable, anyway...

even a good neighbor might get suspicious.

That's enough of us. How about you and your daddy...

what's your history?

Oh, well, there's not much to tell, really.

Um, Papa, he used to be...

Well, I mean, when...

Excuse me, Bo. I've got chores to do.

What was that all about?

I promise, all I did was ask her about her family.

I believe you. Mighty strange.

If them boys don't calm down...

they'll have to redo the laundry...

after they finish the fence.

Rosco, no, no, no.

Put that sign up a little higher so folks can see it.

Cletus, just don't stand there, give him a hand.

Ah! Ah! Ow! That look like a nail to you?

Looks like a thumbnail, you dipstick.

Quiet there, you two. Let me think.

This here road...

is the only way in and out of the Venables place.

So, every time they want to come and go...

they're gonna have to pay.

They're gonna have to pay.

And likewise, anybody else who wants to come through here...

just to bring 'em something, or just to pay a visit...

How long do you think it's gonna be...

before they're gonna be begging me to buy their property?

Cousin Boss, I have just one question: is this legal?

Of course it's legal, you dipstick.

That answer your question?

Yeah, it does. I have another one.

Cousin Boss, just for a little drive-through, $5?

You know something, Rosco?

For once in his life, Cletus is right.

Well, we'll just do something about that.

Go on, will ya?

Esther, honey, we gotta talk some.

Papa, if you're thinking about moving again...

well, I'm not gonna go with you.

You kind of cotton to Hazzard and some of the local folk?

Yes, Papa, I do.

Well, you're practically grown up, Esther, honey...

and you got a right to do what you think you have to do.

The newspaper clipping said his name was Benson.

I tell you, it sounds like our friends are in some trouble.

The only question is, what kind?

I don't know.

Newspapers don't run pictures without stories...

or at least captions.

Does your friend Polly Ann still work over at the Gazette?

Yeah.

Why don't we take a run over to Cedar City?

They keep back issues on file there.

- The newspapers in the state? - You got it.

Go to your left, your right, your left.

Go to your left, your right, your left.

Go to your left, your right, your left.

Go to your left, your right, your l...

Stop! Halt!

Hi!

Cletus, what is that? It wasn't there an hour ago.

I know, but it's there now.

- What's that? - A license plate.

Oh.

Came off a van down by the Venable farm...

up the road a piece. Rosco might find it interesting.

Oh, yeah. Thanks.

If you wanna get by here, it's gonna cost you $15 toll.

Boss Hogg sure wants that farm bad, doesn't he?

Ain't much sense in us paying that toll...

since that arm won't reach high enough for clearance.

- It will, I'll bet you it will. - You're on.

See that? Pay up.

I don't know. What do you think, Luke?

- We better try it. - We're gonna try it, Cletus.

Alright, but I'm telling you, it's high enough.

See, I told you. I won.

Fellas? Fellas?

I lost.

Honey, if you wanna stay in Hazzard...

we stay, come what may.

No, papa.

If anything ever happened to you...

Why don't you call that federal agent Mr. Dixon?

Baby, this is one move I think we'd best make on our own.

I love you, Papa.

Okay, we got Harperville and Henning here right now.

Yeah. Now what exactly is it that I'm looking for?

Anything on either Adam Venable or Josiah Benson.

May the best man win.

Calling Bo and Luke Duke.

This is Adam Venable here.

This is Jesse. The boys ain't here just now. Can I help you?

Well, my Esther and me, we're going away for a spell.

You ain't leaving, are you?

No, just visiting some kin.

Look here. I've got a package that's real valuable.

I thought maybe you could keep it for us.

I'll tell you what.

I'll have Daisy stop by on her way home and pick it up.

- Will that be alright? - Much obliged, Jesse.

Over and out.

He's gonna give the girl a package.

I got a feeling she's gonna give it to us.

Flash, there's the van that Cletus was talking about.

They ain't got no license plates. That is a violation.

You stay here and guard this vehicle.

If I call you, you attack.

Show no mercy, and take no prisoners.

Alright, I hear you in there scurrying around.

Come on out here.

I'm serious. Get out here. I mean right now. Get out here.

Got you, didn't I? See? You thought you fooled me.

I saw the reflection of your windshield up on the hill there.

You know what you done wrong, don't ya?

You're driving without a license plate on your vehicle.

That is serious here in Hazzard County.

You suppose that's why them boys were chasing us?

- Well, I think... - Who was chasing who?

Nobody chases anybody in Hazzard County except me.

And you know who I am, don't you?

Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane of Hazzard County.

And who are you, and what are you doing here?

We are from the... the FBG.

Ooh, ooh. FBG?

The Federal Bureau of Geology.

That's why we got all this equipment here.

We're checking on a large uranium deposit.

Oh! Oh!

Uranium? Here in Hazzard? That's...

- Don't raise your voice. - Hush.

And you can't tell anybody you even been talking to us.

Otherwise, we'd both be in violation...

of the Natural Secrets Act.

Oh, that's serious.

A slip of the lip can sink a ship.

Don't you worry about your ship. I ain't gonna sink it.

No, sir. My lip is sealed as tight as Boss Hogg's wallet.

- Hi, Miss Daisy. - Hey, Cletus.

Are you guarding this place all by your little self?

I sure am.

I got some bad news. There's a $15 toll charge.

Cletus, I don't have $15.

Can I borrow $15 just till Friday?

- I'll write you an IOU. - Sure.

And how about another $5 for the sheriff's welfare plan?

Sure, that'd be great, Daisy.

- Here you go. Thank you so much. - Okay.

- Bye. - Bye.

Wait a minute. I gave her $20...

and she gave me an IOU. She got my money.

- Uranium? - Uranium.

Government geologists?

Government geologists. Now you got it, Boss.

- Only I ain't got it yet. - Ain't got it yet.

On account of you didn't think fast enough...

to get me the exact location of that uranium.

Shh!

A slip of your lip may sink your ship.

The license plate!

Where did Cletus tell you them Duke boys found that thing?

- Over at the Venable farm. - At the Venable farm.

- Well, ain't that interesting? - Yeah, that is.

No wonder they turned down my offer to buy that place.

- Why? - Uranium!

Oh, Rosco, we got things to do.

Just as soon as I make this telephone call...

and buy me the mineral rights to the Gaylord farm.

- Hi, how y'all? - Real fine.

Sorry to tell you, the toll is $15.

Can you break $100?

$100? I ain't got that kind of money.

You let us know when you can. Hit it, Leroy.

They're pretty nice guys. Change...

Ransom Messenger's Testimony Convicts Underworld Boss

Listen to this:

"Harvey Lee Zender convicted largely...

on eyewitness testimony "of Josiah Benson."

It says right here, "The ransom, $2 million in uncut diamonds...

"has not been returned yet."

I bet them boys in that van are Zender's boys.

Bet they've come to square up the accounts.

I doubt it. If that was the case, he'd be dead by now.

Wait a minute. Then they must be looking for them diamonds.

- Let's go. - Thanks a lot, Polly Ann.

See you later.

Thank you.

- Hi, Esther. - Hi, Daisy, how are you?

- Good, thanks. - Hey, Mr. Venable.

Uncle Jesse says you have...

something valuable that needs looking after?

That's right, Daisy.

You'll hold on to it till you hear from us...

- Sure thing. - Take good care of it, you hear?

Mr. Venable, I'll guard it with my life.

And I'll see you when you get back...

from wherever you're going. Bye.

Papa, does she think we're coming back?

That's what I told Jesse. I think it's better that way.

When we get settled...

we'll have them send the briefcase on to us.

Looks like we put our faith into...

some pretty shifty diamond thieves.

Uncle Jesse says there's two sides to every story.

I know it. I can't wait to hear their side of it, that's all.

Alright, Leroy. Make your move.

Step down, little lady.

You might give me a little hand.

Now, friends and neighbors, be very careful...

how you approach a girl in Hazzard County.

Don't let her get away, she's got the diamonds.

Any Dukes out there got their ears on?

- We got you, Daisy. - Luke, I need your help, honey.

I don't know what's happening...

but two fellas just tried to bushwhack me.

- They're behind me right now. - In a van?

- Affirmative. - Do you know why?

No. I think it's got something to do with the briefcase...

Mr. Venable gave me.

Where are you?

Heading south from the Venable farm.

Alright. We're on our way. Hit it.

How did she get mixed up in this?

How did we?

Left, right, left, right...

Slow down. Slow down! Slow down!

What are you trying to do? And give me those $15, $20!

Hey, what is this?

Buzzards on a buzz saw!

Some fellas just won't take "no" for an answer.

Friends, that's more electric hardware...

than is in the entire Hazzard Power Company.

Find anything in the van?

I'll tell you later. Which way did they go?

Follow me.

- I think there's a way down... - No. They're back up here.

We got you, Daisy. Come on, let go, darling.

Fellas, that was great!

Come on. Let's get out of here, move.

Are you alright?

Sure, they didn't lay a hand on me.

How did you get that briefcase, anyway?

Seems Mr. Venable called Uncle Jesse...

and said he was going out of town for a spell...

and wanted us to hold on to it.

I tell you, I think there must be $1 million in here.

You're about half right.

Don't open it up. We ain't got the right.

Why don't we, find the guy that's got the right

Hey, Boss...

how do we find the uranium now?

That's easy.

We use this here Geiger counter.

How many Geigers are we gonna have to count before we find it?

All I know is, when this little needle moves...

you've found the uranium.

Which you'd know, too, if your cranium had a brainium.

- Ow! Ow! What is that? - It's a pick.

- Come on. - Sorry I poked your posterior.

Daddy, I think we ought to tell the Dukes the truth.

You're right, honey.

I guess this is yours, Mr. Benson.

Dang near cost Daisy her life.

I'm sorry, Daisy. Really, I am.

Sorry enough to tell us the truth now?

I was gonna do that anyway.

You know our name is Benson, what else do you know?

Just what we read in the papers.

Of course, that was all back issues.

Then you know it all. Except maybe about the US government...

putting us on their relocation plan...

changing our name and all. This is our third port of call.

Seems the people who know about them diamonds keep popping up.

If you give them diamonds back, people will stop bothering you.

- We ain't got the diamonds. - Zender's got them stashed.

Then what is in there? Sorghum and grits?

Show 'em, honey.

May not seem like much.

This is just some family pictures.

It's all we've got left of what we once was.

- And the birth certificates. - It's our heritage.

I guess we know a little something about that.

There ain't nothing as precious in life as your family heritage.

I think we'd best be going. For good, this time.

Wait, those men in the van are probably...

still out there. Who are they anyway?

They're bounty hunters. They're from a Company out of Atlanta.

How did they know about Daisy and what she was carrying?

Wait just a minute. They must have been in the house.

With all that electronic gear in that van...

Come on.

You sure we're looking in the right place, Boss?

Huh? Sure, I'm sure.

This is the exact same spot the Venables was looking, ain't it?

Yeah. But they weren't looking for uranium...

they were looking for water.

And I'm the tooth fairy.

That's why I got short-changed...

last time I put my molar under the pillow.

Look! Look! Look! That needle. It's jumping all over the place.

- Rosco, you're getting warm. - Will you hold this?

- I'm getting hot. - No! Not you!

I mean we are getting warm.

I'll take your jacket...

I mean, it's the Geiger counter.

- We're getting close. - Yeah, we're getting...

- Go get the jackhammer. - I'm going. I'm going.

You can bet them two got their ears on.

What do you suppose would happen if we told them...

bounty hunters what was really in that suitcase?

They won't believe it. Even if they did, there'd be others...

coming at us as long as we live.

Come on, fellas. There's gotta be something we can do.

Nope, I'm afraid Pop's right.

We're gonna be running for the rest of our lives.

Maybe you're both right. That there could be the answer.

What do you think would happen if them bounty hunters...

thought you were dead?

If they actually saw you die, what would they do then?

Report it to their company, I expect.

Then they'd have to give the story to the papers.

Yup. Looks like we're gonna have to kill you for your own good.

If y'all believe that...

I've got some Tennessee beach property...

that I'm selling real cheap.

There's an old country saying: "Expect the unexpected."

And it sure does fit, 'cause we got a little...

shuck-and-jive cooking.

And friends and neighbors, they got some kind of moves.

Cooter, this is Bo. You got your ears on? Come back.

Read you long and strong, good buddy. That's a big 10-4.

Uncle Jesse, are you there? You hearing me?

Alright now, Cooter and Uncle Jesse, Luke's got a plan...

I'm not exactly sure what it is but I'm gonna ride along.

Smile a lot, give a couple of yee-haws, alright?

- Take care, y'all. - I hear you.

- Alright, we're looking good. - All set?

Alright, let's do it. Everybody knows what's going on?

- Okay. - Let's go.

Mr. Benson, we ain't gonna be able...

to take them stolen diamonds to the fence in Colonial City.

How come? I thought we had us a deal.

You see, Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane has been...

bird-dogging us something fierce lately...

so you'll just have to take them there yourself, sir.

Once you get to the bottom of Widow's Peak...

- Widow's Peak? - Widow's Peak.

You're gonna be out of Hazzard County.

From there on it should be clear sailing.

Get out the map, Leroy.

Let's find us Widow's Peak.

Remember, everybody. Timing is everything.

Wait a minute, boys. You too, Daisy.

I just can't let you do it. It's too risky.

If it weren't for us you'd never have gone into town...

and gotten into this whole mess in the first place.

Alright. Whatever happens, you're good neighbors for sure.

We gotta say the same.

- It's gonna work, though. - It will.

Luke's plan needed a little tricky timing.

It needed Cooter...

a little help from Jesse, and some dynamite.

Now that, friends, is a mixture.

You watch the place.

I'll be right back.

I think.

Alright, get your jackhammer now. Come on, start digging.

Meanwhile, back at the farm...

old Boss was getting more frustrated...

by pure old greed by the minute.

Give me this thing!

People don't have any respect for law and order anymore.

Oh, no. Oh, no!

I just might as well stay here.

Good thing you put them flares on them arrows.

Where do you suppose them investigators are?

Well, if I heard what they must've heard, I'd be waiting...

over by Widow's Peak, myself.

Alright. Let her rip.

Be careful.

It's like the brass ring.

Just like old Luke figured.

Them bad dudes was waiting for the Venables...

at the top of Widow's Peak.

Now we're back to the timing in Luke's plan.

It was up to Cooter to run the van off the road...

making it look accidental.

And then to take a little time...

before letting them get back on the road.

Them cousins of yours are plain crazy, God bless them.

There they are, Leroy.

Alright.

Okay, you're on.

What happened, Daddy?

It's our brakes. They're not holding!

Well, do something, Daddy!

I can't! I can't!

Come on, baby, come on, fire up. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Okey-dokey. Keep her steady.

- Come on. - Let's go this way.

- We're gonna crash! - No! Oh, no!

Yee-haw!

Luke's plan worked slicker than a greased pig.

When Hickey called the Company and reported what he'd seen...

well, the Company closed the books on the case.

And the bounty hunters had gone...

to all that trouble for nothing.

Serves them right.

That was so good.

Instead of uranium, Rosco struck water...

thus assuring the Venables a normal life to live in Hazzard.

Well, the toll bridge had taken its toll on Cletus.

And Boss didn't get any uranium.

But his speed trap was still a gold mine.

And now, if you folks would just quiet down...

J.D. Hogg now proudly presents for your enjoyment...

Mr. Hoyt Axton.

Thank you, folks. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you, folks.

♪ I'm the cop in a little bitty town ♪

♪ And I don't get much pay. ♪

♪ Oh, but I caught17 out of state cars ♪

♪ Four of my friends today ♪

♪ Yeah, I let the hometown boys go home ♪

♪ They paid $5 bail ♪

♪ Oh, but all the drivers in the outta state cars ♪

♪ Had to go to jail ♪

♪ Yeah, they hollered, and they moaned ♪

♪ And they cried and they groaned ♪

♪ They all swore that they'd sue ♪

♪ But the judge was high and so was I ♪

♪ And we needed the money too ♪

♪ Yeah the judge and me got a deal you see ♪

♪ We split the money fair ♪

♪ 'Cept for 30% to the county seat ♪

♪ To keep the law out of our hair ♪

♪ And old Charlie's working out real good ♪

♪ Down at the corner store where the red light is ♪

♪ He see's them out of state plates ♪

♪ Two blocks away ♪

♪ And when they get right up on top of that green light ♪

♪ Old Charlie pushes that secret button ♪

♪ Underneath the corner drug store counter... ♪

A secret button?

♪ That yellow light only lasts for a tenth of a second ♪

One-tenth. I love it. I love it.

♪ Yeah the county pays me about 40 a week ♪

♪ Ain't that the living in ♪

♪ If it wasn't for them tourist and them out of state cars ♪

♪ I'd have no loot to spend. ♪

♪ But the way it stands this year so far ♪

♪ I've made 400 thou ♪

♪ For a high school drop-out I'm doing fine ♪

♪ I make more than the president now ♪

♪ For a high school drop-out I'm doing fine ♪

♪ I make more than the president now ♪

♪ Of course he's honest ♪

♪ So if you're driving down the road ♪

♪ And flashing light you see ♪

♪ If they're on top of a red Rolls Royce ♪

♪ You can bet your boots it's me ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm the cop in a little bitty town ♪

♪ And I'd sure like to see ♪

♪ All you drivers in them out of state cars ♪

♪ Try to get by me ♪

- Can I go now? - Yeah, you can go.

Your fine singing has paid for your speeding ticket.

You know something, Boss, you're a real prince.

- Oh, I am? - Maybe not a prince.

- Maybe more like a varlet. - A var...

- Is that good? - Oh, yeah, very good.

Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.

Rosco, did you know I'm a varlet?

Oh, wonderful. Let me take a picture of you, varmint.

In case y'all didn't know...

a varlet is a good old boy gone bad.

And that's rare, even in Hazzard County.