Original subtitles

It's a typical, hazzard holiday gathering.

With lots of surprises.

There ain't no trees. We was hijacked.

Go after him, go after him.

With-with, who, what?

It was that white-bearded, red-suited crook

Is nothing scared?

Ho, ho, ho.

Hang on.

'Twere the day before Christmas, and, what a mess.

So don't go away, you hear?

♪ Just a-good old boys ♪

♪ Never meanin' no harm ♪

♪ Beats all you never saw ♪

♪ Been in trouble with the law ♪

♪ Since the day they was born ♪

♪ Straightenin' the curves ♪

♪ Flattenin' the hills ♪

♪ Some day the mountain might get 'em ♪

♪ But the law never will ♪

♪ Makin' their way ♪

♪ The only way they know how ♪

♪ That's just a little bit more ♪

♪ Than the law will allow ♪

♪ Just a-good old boys ♪

♪ Wouldn't change if they could ♪

♪ Fightin' the system ♪

♪ Like two modern-day robin hoods ♪

You're looking at a Hazzard County White Christmas...

'cause that's as white as it's gonna get.

It was a good time.

The crops were in, and the cattle were out.

It was a time for carols, and words of good cheer.

It was a time for giving.

That is, except for old Boss Hogg.

Of course, he was always in for taking.

I want you to get out there and tug at their heartstrings.

Make them feel guilty.

And get them to cough up plenty.

How're you doing in here?

Uncle Jesse, you're just in time. I need your finger.

Y'all sure sounded pretty over there, Uncle Jesse.

It weren't no Tabernacle Choir.

But it's easy on the ears and fills the heart.

It sure was a good idea, Cooter, for you and the Scouts...

to make these wreaths and pre-sell the Christmas trees.

Shouldn't them boys be rolling into town...

with them trees right about now?

Yes, sir they ought to be here, any time now.

The boys had picked up the trees...

for Cooter and the Scouts.

Kind of figures, they'd use an orange truck, don't it?

Say, did you pick out a Christmas tree for Uncle Jesse?

It's in the back with the rest of them.

That's real, real smart.

I tied a ribbon on it.

What the heck is that?

Looks a lot like somebody's laundry.

Must have fell out the back of Cecil's truck.

I guess.

What did I tell you?

Somebody's gonna be awful mad at Cecil.

Let's see what we've got here.

Alright, back off, turkeys.

Nobody gets hurt.

That ain't laundry.

But the Duke boys are being taken to the cleaners.

- Back, off. - You're ready, Luke.

"Wishing you...

"a most joyful and merry holiday season."

Rosco, you know something?

Today sure is gonna be a day worth getting up for.

For one thing, I've got my Santa Clauses out collecting...

and for another, if my plan goes according to schedule...

You will have the total monopoly...

on all the Christmas trees sold in Hazzard County.

Not to mention Bo and Luke Duke behind bars.

Looks like Bo and Luke don't have a prayer.

Then again, maybe they do.

How do you figure they knew we was coming?

You got me.

Sitting here ain't gonna help us find out.

Or get them trees back.

Now, from where I sit, this whole thing...

smells like it's downwind from a cow barn on a hot June day.

Ready?

Pretty good.

Give me the plates.

So far, so good.

Be so kind just to hold that for a second.

For a split second.

I'll just put that... That's in there a little too far.

I'll just use this...

Hurry, will you please?

Hurry on.

You drove a hole in the damn pipe.

Cover it up, cover it up quick!

Well, don't use my hat, would you?

- Howdy. - How you doing?

- You boys need a lift? - We sure do.

Are you heading towards Hazzard?

Just happen to be going that way. Hop in!

Alright, thanks, Reverend.

Okay. Thank you, A.C.

They left the Christmas Tree Farm...

in Central City over an hour ago.

Daisy Duke, get over to the Boars Nest and do a swab job.

The water there's reaching the high-water mark.

Yeah, you can hang 10.

Why so glum? Something happened?

Bo and Luke should have been here...

with the Christmas trees by now.

I sure hope nothing's happened to them.

- I expect they hit a tree. - Yeah.

Thanks a lot for the lift, Reverend.

I'm his humble shepherd, tending flock...

gathering those who go astray.

Wasn't for you, we'd still be walking.

- Go with God. - You bet.

- Thank you, sir. - Take care, now.

Hey, where y'all been?

- We was hijacked. - You were hijacked?

Halfway between here and Central City, Boss.

A nice preacher stopped and picked us up.

Now, ain't that a kick in the gizzard!

Yeah, whoever would have done something so despicable?

As soon as we find out, y'all will be the first ones to know.

Gentlemen.

You left this on the front seat. It might be important.

Here.

Let's everybody see what this is.

Look here.

There must be at least $500 in here.

- $500? - Wait just a minute.

That ain't ours.

Rosco, cast your eyes on the front of this envelope...

and tell me and all those here assembled...

what names you see there.

Bo and Luke Duke.

Do not tell me that! Bo and Luke Duke.

How did you boys get your grubby hands on money like this?

Unless...

you're the very hijackers who hijacked yourselves.

Just a minute, J.D.

You accusing them boys of stealing them trees?

You got any witnesses who say they didn't?

You got any witnesses that say we did?

Here, I've got 500 witnesses here.

Which I am now impounding as evidence.

Rosco, do your duty.

- Come on! - Wait a minute!

They're stealing my vehicle!

They've got Flash.

Hold it right there! Just freeze it right there.

Just move it over there. I'm commandeering this vehicle.

Commandeering?

I'm taking this vehicle over. I'm in hot pursuit.

J.D., you gotta be three bricks shy of a load...

Arresting those boy's on circumstantial evidence.

It ain't right

Hey, stop!

Watch out!

I'm gonna have to get your car washed for you.

It sure is a dandy way you figured out to clear us.

A stolen police car?

It's a lot better than trying to track them hijackers...

from inside Rosco's slammer.

Old Rosco was firewalling that commandeered car...

and that poor old dude figured he'd never see Christmas.

With Bo and Luke running like a scalded cat...

they never even noticed what laid ahead.

You know, friends, sometimes fate just seems to dump on you.

Flash?

Flash?

Flash?

Where are you?

Jump out at me now, Flash!

Flash, where were you?

You don't want to do that.

Alright, you, come on out here.

'Twas the night before Christmas...

and all through the jail... We got you.

Don't get your tail over your back, Daisy.

I ain't saying that Bo and Luke hijacked it.

What I'm saying is...

Well, it looks kind of funny...

what with all the evidence Boss got.

Not to mention the word of a man of the cloth!

Much as I never...

thought that Bo and Luke Duke would ever stoop so low...

as to hijack the town's Christmas trees...

facts is facts. Right, Reverend?

No offense to you, Reverend, but I know my cousins are innocent.

It don't make no difference what nobody thinks...

we still ain't got no trees for Christmas.

Now that ain't a fact.

Maybe Bo and Luke Duke have let the people of Hazzard down...

but not J.D. Hogg.

Folks, listen to this.

I've got a whole truckload of Christmas trees...

coming into town this very minute.

This is my favorite country-fried spaghetti.

I don't care if it's your lunch hour.

I got my bail money and I want the boys.

Alright, Uncle Jesse.

But I have to say I'm mighty surprised at Bo and Luke.

First, I ain't your Uncle Jesse.

You know as well as I do, Bo and Luke wouldn't steal nothing.

It's none of my business...

but you are paying pretty steep for a bunch of Christmas trees.

Yeah? When you figure disgracing them Duke boys...

in front of the whole town...

sending them up the river for a good long time...

and add in the money I'm gonna make off them trees...

it's cheap at triple the price.

There's your money, Reverend...

and remember, after you and your boys deliver them trees...

I want you and them to disappear. Pronto.

Did you get the money?

Yeah, but nothing to compare...

with what that old geezer's got sitting in his safe...

just aching to be plucked.

I'm gonna drop you boys off at a place called the Boars Nest.

I'll call you there.

Where are you going?

Central City. I got a little Christmas shopping to do.

Me and Bo feel pretty bad about you spending money on our bail.

It wouldn't have been no Christmas...

with you two in the pokey.

I don't know who to feelmore sorry for, Uncle Jesse...

us or people that ain't got no tree for Christmas.

Feel sorry for us, Bo.

Looks like some other people will buy trees anyway.

Boss brought in a whole new set of greenery.

Leave it to J.D.

Might as well. He's gonna take it anyway.

Don't that truck look like the one we were driving...

when we got hijacked?

Yeah, but... No, it's the wrong color.

It's got a different license plate, too, Luke.

Trucks can be painted. And plates can be switched.

There's the ribbon we tied on the tree...

especially for you, Uncle Jesse.

That proves it then. That there is our truck.

Yeah, it all begins to make sense.

What're we waiting for, boys?

You got your own choir practice, Uncle Jesse.

Me and Bo are gonna see if we can make Mr. Hogg...

do a little singing too.

Don't do anything foolish.

- I'm running out of bail money. - Yes, sir.

- Let's get out of here. - Foolish, us?

Hey, Otis J.

Where's the rest of the choir?

Their folks won't let them Christmas carol...

for a Duke no more.

So that's the way it is.

Least ways you showed up.

I was the one they made come tell you.

Uncle Jesse, we don't have a Christmas tree anyway...

and if you'll sing lead, I'll sing harmony.

I don't think that'd quite get it, Otis J.

Tell you what we better do.

We'd better go on over to the pharmacy...

and get ourselves a hot chocolate.

Now then, Hogg's Merchandise Mart and Boutique...

Hogg's Greeting Card Printing Company...

Boss, you just amaze me...

how your fat little brain and fat little fingers...

get all coordinated.

Hogg's Mistletoe and Tinsel Works...

- Boss, can I ask you a question? - Go ahead.

What are you gonna charge the people in Hazzard...

for their Christmas trees?

Since they got no choice, because I cornered the market...

I think three times the normal price would be fair.

I'll bet you 10 gallons of gasoline, he ain't here.

You're on.

Say, Daisy, is Boss in his office?

He's in there counting out how great his Christmas is gonna be.

- Make that premium. - Thank you.

- Let's get out of here. - Easy.

We know who they are, but they don't know us.

We was wearing masks.

Besides, we gotta wait for Willie's call.

So relax.

Howdy, I don't suppose you got a bill of sale for them trees...

you're selling in your lot.

Bill of sale? Of course, I've got a bill of sale.

Everything I buy is paid for, fair and square.

You wouldn't know fair and square with a scale and ruler!

Now, hold on. Just what are you insinuating?

Nothing much.

Just that them trees in your lot are the same...

that was hijacked from Luke and me.

Just you wait one cotton-picking minute.

- They are insinulating... - "Insinuating."

Whatever. That he's dealing in stolen properties.

- No insinuation meant. - No, sir. It's a fact.

Here's another fact for you to chew on.

In addition to all the other charges against you...

I'm personally suing you for defamation of character.

You ain't got no character to defame.

And you ain't got no trees to sell.

Now just waltz out of here before I have you propelled out.

Just get on.

He's got a point, Bo.

- Thanks a lot, Boss. - Come on.

Rosco, don't you let them Duke boys out of your sight.

They know too much.

Poor old Bo and Luke was feeling lower...

than a snake's belly in a wagon rut.

I don't know what happened Luke.

You've never given up that easy.

Without no evidence against him, he's got us over a barrel.

Well, you better think of something.

Everybody in town is starting to believe...

you did hijack those trees.

There's gotta be some way of tracking them down.

I got it, ma'am.

Hello.

Where are you?

I'm ready to leave Central City.

Listen, there's an old shack out Route 71, near Hobson's Creek.

- Meet me there in an hour. - Okay.

That was Willie. Let's go.

We shouldn't worry about a thing...

'cause old cousin Luke will think of something.

- Watch. - Watch what?

No, the watch that guy was wearing.

It's the same watch the guy in the sack was wearing...

when we was hijacked.

Let's go talk to him about it.

Alright, Daisy. Where's Bo and Luke off to, anyway?

They're doing your work, Rosco...

and going off and proving their innocence...

by chasing those hijackers.

Oh yeah, well...

What are you waiting for? Go after them!

Yeah. Which? Who? What?

Who? Who do you think, lamebrain?

- Bo and Luke Duke, right? - Go!

- Dang. - What is it?

It's them Duke fellas.

And there's a cop car right behind them.

You think they recognized us?

I don't know. But let's not stop to find out.

Hit it. Let's go.

Wouldn't you know the road the boys...

would be on would be busier...

than a set of jumper cables at a Hazzard family reunion?

Hang on.

If that truck don't stop them, Rosco will.

Or gravity.

See what you've done? Now...

Rosco always was big on desserts.

In all the confusion, old Bo and Luke lost the tree-nappers.

Sure ain't gonna be much of a holiday.

Jail sentence hanging over y'all's heads...

no money for Christmas presents.

That Scrooge Hogg, putting the squeeze on everybody...

making them pay for Christmas trees

that had already been bought and paid for.

- That's it. - What's it?

How we're gonna get Boss to tell us...

who them hijackers are and where to find them.

- You said it, Uncle Jesse. - I did?

Sure. "Scrooge Hogg." Remember in Dickens' Christmas Carol...

how them ghosts from the different Christmases...

came back to haunt him?

They scared him so much they made him a changed man.

Boss Hogg takes a nap every afternoon at 4:30.

It ain't midnight, but it might work.

That's all well and good.

Where are you gonna get your ghosts?

It might work.

Flash, don't you peek, now. Good girl.

You were peeking, I can tell.

You gotta keep those...

beautiful brown eyes of yours closed.

Rosco, that mangy animal don't ever open its eyes...

long enough to close them.

Well, I don't want her to see her Christmas present...

before Christmas morning.

It's gonna spoil it for her.

Rosco, you gotta be dumber than a rock...

to spend your good money on a Christmas present for a dog!

Alright, get yourself, that mutt...

and its Christmas present out of here...

while I take my afternoon nap!

Boss.

Boss, you're eating one of Flash's Christmas presents.

We gotta go now and let Boss Hogg have a little snooze.

Merry sleeping.

As Boss settled down and laid his little, fat head to rest...

the Dukes was putting theirs to work...

figuring confession was good for the soul...

and hoping old Boss had a soul to begin with.

Jefferson Davis Hogg?

Are you listening, J.D.?

Yeah, well... Who's there?

Who are you?

This here is the Ghost of Christmas Past.

You're the meanest, stingiest...

crookedest man in all Hazzard County...

if not the entire state.

Yeah, I am.

I just always wanted to be first in everything.

Dipping sparrows in peroxide...

and selling them as canaries...

Telling poor little orphans...

that Santa Claus is too old to get around anymore.

Now, hold on, that ain't true!

I've given plenty at Christmas time!

J.D., the only thing you ever gave at Christmas time...

was the measles!

I wanted to do more...

but I couldn't. I kept forgetting.

Boss, this is the Ghost...

of Christmas Future.

Future?

My future is it?

And it ain't too bright.

Matter of fact, you're gonna need headlights...

to see where you're going.

No money, no widows.

Just plenty of nothing.

How'd I ever get this way?

This is the Ghost of Christmas Present.

Present?

You better change your ways, J.D.

Oh, yeah.

That is, while you still have a chance.

Give back those Christmas trees.

Yes.

Clear those nice, young Duke boys.

And confess that it was you...

that had their truck hijacked...

and clear the good name of Duke.

Yeah, I'll confess.

I'll tell you everything.

Breaker One, Crazy Cooter coming at you.

Got your ears on, Bo and Luke? Come on.

For a man who'd done as many tune-ups as he'd done...

Cooter sure had a bad sense of timing.

Dang! Blast it!

And it looks like Bo, Luke, and Daisy...

had just blown a big hole in their Christmas stocking.

You ain't no ghosts. You didn't fool me for a minute.

I just went along with you in the Christmas spirit.

Gimme a hand.

Meanwhile, Willie and the boys were planning to blow...

a big hole in Boss's safe.

I'm sorry, y'all. I just didn't know what you were up to.

Cooter, it wasn't your fault. You had no way of knowing.

Tomorrow night's Christmas Eve.

We might as well forget the whole thing.

Yeah, me and the Scouts will start taking the money...

back in the morning.

Hold on. These people bought and paid for them trees.

They're gonna get them.

Bless your little cotton socks, Luke.

How do you figure on doing that?

We get them the same way Boss got them from us?

Hold on in there. I hear you.

You know how I feel about stealing.

There ain't gonna be no stealing involved, Uncle Jesse.

We're merely gonna relocate them trees to their rightful owners.

- Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas.

While Luke stayed up half the night...

planning to relocate them trees...

the Reverend and his boys was fixing to add...

their special touch to the Christmas season.

I don't know.

Hitting them just before Christmas Eve...

sounds like it's gonna work...

but they're gonna recognize us for sure.

Not in these disguises.

Can you think of a better idea this time of year?

Anderson's should be the last place I have to deliver.

Luke, how're we gonna deliver them trees...

without anybody recognizing us?

We're all gonna be dressed up like Santa Claus.

Six Santa Clauses?

Where're they gonna get 48 tiny reindeer?

If we go to the center of town and take all them trees...

Rosco will catch us before we deliver the first one.

It'll take some fancy footwork.

We make him think we are where we ain't...

and we ain't where we are.

What we're gonna need is three pickups. Same color, same model.

- Cooter, does that ring a bell? - Yeah.

The Alpine Construction Company. Old Murphy will fix us up.

- Let me call him. - Absolutely.

I don't see how we're gonna go to the center of town...

and take them trees from under everybody's noses.

- It'd take a miracle. - It's the time of year for it.

- Ho, ho, ho. - Let's do it to it.

By way of helping their miracle along...

the boys got the necessary vehicles...

and helped themselves to three Santa Claus suits...

courtesy of J. D. Hogg's Charitable Foundation.

Flav-Smoke. Nonflammable.

Cures ham, bacon, and assorted game.

The next couple of steps was mighty important.

So while Cooter set out to see Rosco...

wouldn't cause them any problems...

Bo and Luke, that's them...

waited for Boss's bank to close

before creating a little diversion...

by dropping a couple of harmless smoke bombs...

inside the empty bank.

Dang! That's my bank. Call the Fire Department!

I'll just call the Fire... That's a doozy.

Operation Santa Claus Christmas Tree was underway.

Boss, the Fire Department's on its way.

Forget it, there ain't no fire.

Just a lot of smoke coming from this thing.

Flav-Smoke. Somebody wants my bank to smell like a ham.

It does smell like a little bacon, doesn't it?

- My Christmas trees! - No, it's more like bacon.

That Santa Claus is stealing my trees.

Just don't stand there, rabbit-brain!

Stop that truck! Follow that Santa Claus!

You can't trust nobody nowadays! Freeze!

That's terrible. Santa Claus stealing? I never.

I mean, that is the epitome of...

Rosco, you did it again!

Come out.

Come out of there. Come on out.

No, sir, it never rains, but it pours on Rosco.

Then again, if you think it's all clear and sunshine...

for Santa Claus...

Look out, Luke!

You don't know how fast things can change in Hazzard.

Boss will kill me.

Cletus, you had them, then you lost them again.

Had who? Lost who?

Santa Claus. He stole the Boss' Christmas trees.

Santa Claus did?

- It ain't the real Santa Claus. - No, it ain't the real one.

What am I saying?

- You said... - I know what I said.

It was that white-bearded, red-suited crook in the truck.

In the truck.

Him and his thieving partners took my trees.

Didn't you see them?

- Well, I... - Forget it.

Just get in your car and cover Hazzard north and west.

Rosco and me will get in mine and cover the rest.

Get in there, will you?

There it goes.

While Boss, Rosco, and Cletus were out...

chasing their three Santas...

three other Kris Kringles were off to partake of Boss' bounty.

Okay, everybody knows his starting position and his route?

Yes, sir.

We'll load up with as many trees as you can...

and then come back for more when you run out.

Just so as you don't get all muddled...

Santa Cooter's in Pickup A...

Santa Bo's in Pickup B, and Santa Luke's in Pickup C.

Golly, it's gonna work.

Now, you better stay alert...

'cause it could get a little bit puzzling.

Which is exactly what it's supposed to do...

to Boss, Rosco, and Cletus.

Santa Claus! I just seen him!

- Where, Cletus? - Heading east on Mill Road.

I'm down and gone.

We'll nail him when he intersects with Route 71.

Rosco, shift your brains out of neutral. And move it!

Put that thing to the floor!

Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas, Boss!

Cletus? You've got a hole in your screen door!

He's going north, not east!

No, not east. Now he's going west!

That's impossible!

- He's going north! - What?

Cousin Boss, if that's true...

would somebody tell the sun it's setting in the wrong place?

Here you go.

Thanks, sir.

I still got a feeling...

I should've gone along to help out.

Uncle Jesse, don't go get yourself puckered up about this.

After all, if Bo and Luke need help, they know where you are.

Guess you're right.

Boars Nest was kind of deserted on Christmas Eve.

But, even then, some folks gotta work.

Just you play it cool. And shut your traps.

See if that's a closet.

That's what it is.

Move to the closet without any fuss.

You fellas wouldn't happen to be the ones...

that hijacked the Christmas trees, would you?

What's it to you, Grandpa?

I ain't your grandpa.

I was just curious.

Get in there.

Merry Christmas!

Alright, hold it here.

Dancer to Blitzen, got a blizzard...

on my tail, my sled's out of presents...

and I need a great big ho, ho, ho! Come on.

Blitzen to Dancer, I'm on my way.

- Alright, I say south. - Boss, I say east.

You don't know your east from your...

There!

Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas.

He ain't got no trees with him.

And you ain't got no brains. Follow him. Come on!

While Willie and the boys started...

to open up their Christmas present early...

Bo, Luke, and Cooter continued to spread Christmas cheer...

and Boss, Rosco, and Cletus all around Hazzard County.

Merry Christmas. We'll see you about midnight, then.

- Is that a promise? - That there's a promise.

Flapjacks on a Ferris wheel. I must have lost him, Cousin Boss.

No, we got him. He's heading west on Piker's Ridge.

West.

Did you say west? That ain't west. That's...

Cousin Boss...

could you send somebody out here to get me?

I'm lost.

We've got all we could get. Come on, let's move out.

Move it! Move it!

You heard what the man said. Let's move it.

If them crooks get across the county line...

Bo and Luke will be 10 years getting home for Christmas.

Ho, ho, ho, cousin.

Well, that's the way it's still going out here.

Bo, Luke, and Cooter playing hide-and-seek...

with Boss, Rosco, and Cletus...

while Daisy and Jesse are trying to catch...

their three Santas.

There ain't but six Santas here, friends.

Thanks, Uncle Jesse.

Well, Boss, I guess we lost them.

What do you mean "we" lost them?

You and me...

Rosco, you ought to sue your brains for nonsupport.

I'm gonna find them again.

You couldn't find the floor if you fell out of bed!

Shepherd to Abandoned Sheep! We need you at Indian Road.

- What? Who was that? - Who cares?

Just keep your eyes peeled.

They gotta be coming along here sooner or later.

Look at that! Did you see that?

There are three Santa Clauses. Three of them!

No wonder we couldn't find them

and been chasing all over the place!

Wonder what happened to the pickup they were driving?

Obviously, they had their little elves...

make them a blue car for Christmas.

Come on, follow them, you dingbat!

Come on, get this thing started. Move it!

Uncle Jesse!

Cletus, this is your superior officer speaking.

They're headed down Indian Road toward...

Bear's Hollow! You got that?

Ho, ho, ho! This here is Rudolph the Red-Nosed Duke...

calling Blitzen.

I've done made all my rounds.

Head back to Santa's village, Rudolph!

Dancer? You got your ears on?

Got my ears on, my sled's empty...

and I'm heading for the Pole. I'm gone.

Let's all go home.

And a Merry Christmas to one and all.

If any of you folks out there happen to be in the vicinity...

of Indian Road and Bear Hollow Junction...

y'all better move.

Alright, you three, out of there. Let's go.

Let's go, you merry men. Come on out of there.

Boss had a mighty tough decision to make.

He could order Rosco to arrest the three Santas...

who'd stolen his trees...

that he'd stolen from them.

Or he could order the arrest of the three...

who'd stolen the trees...

that had just been stolen from him after he had stolen...

Well, you get the idea.

What really made up Boss' mind was...

Jesse showing him the sacks of money...

that had been stolen from Boss's safe...

while he was off chasing Bo, Luke, and Cooter.

Rosco, these Santa Clauses. These are the ones.

And so, all charges against the Dukes were dropped.

Christmas Eve came to Hazzard.

That is, everywhere in Hazzard but the Boars Nest.

You're not supposed to open the Christmas...

present until Christmas.

It's just a little present from Flash and me.

A Christmas Carol?

By who? Charles Dickens.

- Little Charlie Dickens. - Never heard of him.

Mrs. Perkins down there at the bookstore...

said that was a Christmas classic.

Humbug.

Let's you and me get ourselves some beer.

Boss, I'd just love to...

but I gotta go out to the Duke farm.

You're not gonna believe this, but after all that happened...

that Duke family has done bought Flash a Christmas present?

- They did? - Yes.

He just can't wait to see what it is. I can't either.

- Boss, Merry Christmas. - Oh, yeah, you bet.

Merry Christmas, little fat buddy.

I just can't wait to see what it is.

And with Lulu away...

old Boss was as lonely as old Waylon...

on the night of the Country Music Association Awards.

Boss began to read about old Ebenezer Scrooge...

the meanest, stingiest, uncaringness person...

in the whole wide world.

He read about what Scrooge had done...

to his former partner, Marley...

to Bob Cratchit, and, of course, to Tiny Tim.

"'Oh, spirit, ' said Scrooge...

"'tell me if Tiny Tim will live.'

"'I see a vacant seat, ' replied the Ghost."

He read about the Ghost of Christmas Past...

the Ghost of Christmas Present...

and the Ghost of Christmas Future.

♪ Silent night ♪

♪ Holy night ♪

♪ All is calm ♪

♪ All is bright ♪

♪ Round young virgin mother and child ♪

♪ Holy infant so tender and mild ♪

Look on, there. Read that. What's that say?

It says, "Merry Christmas, Flash."

- Oh, J.D. - Hello, Jesse.

I was just wondering...

if y'all could spare a little Christmas cheer...

for one of your fellow citizens? Namely, me.

J.D., you just get yourself in here.

Merry Christmas, J.D.

Hey, everybody, look who's come to see us.

- Wow, J.D. - Merry Christmas.

Yeah, it's me. Merry Christmas, everybody...

and God bless us, every one.

Why don't you join in with us?

Come on, everybody, let's do Deck the Halls.

♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪

♪ Fa la la la la la la la la ♪

♪ Tis the season to be jolly ♪

♪ Fa la la la la la la la la ♪

Shh.

Listen.

Did you boys put bells on Maudine the mule?

- No, sir. - Do you reckon?

♪ Tis the season to be jolly ♪

Listen, now don't laugh.

If it could happen anywhere...

it would happen in Hazzard County.

♪ Fa la la la la la la la la ♪