Original subtitles

♪ Just the good ol' boys ♪

♪ Never meanin' no harm ♪

♪ Beats all you've ever saw ♪

♪ Been in trouble with the law ♪

♪ Since the day they was born ♪

♪ Straightenin' the curve ♪

♪ Flatnin' the hills ♪

♪ Someday the mountain ♪

♪ Might get 'em but the law never will ♪

♪ Makin' their way ♪

♪ The only way they know how ♪

♪ That's just a little bit more ♪

♪ Than the law will allow ♪

♪ Just good ol' boys ♪

♪ Wouldn't change if they could ♪

♪ Fightin' the system ♪

♪ Like a true modern day Robin Hood ♪

It all started on a spring morning.

Flowers were popping open

alfalfa was blowing in the breeze

and the bees were making out with their honeys.

General Lee had just had a spring tonic tune-up

and old Bo and Luke were letting it all hang out.

And it looks like somebody else is fireballing, too.

You idiot! Why didn't you watch where you're driving?

I didn't see them, Vic!

Bo, you alright?

Yeah.

Just get the seatbelt off.

Lord, have mercy!

Hey, you guys!

Let's get out of here.

Hold on a minute!

How do you like that?

You sure you're okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Don't look like the General's doing too good.

You sure showed them.

Cute. I'll call Cooter on the CB.

Alright.

We set up a once-in-a-lifetime payroll heist

and you almost blow it over some rubes and a dumb accident!

Stop getting your nose out of joint.

They didn't see us good enough to recognize us.

Everything will go smooth as silk, soon as we hit that bank.

Over at the Sheriff's office the second part

of this little tale is about to unfold.

Now, Flash, I'm gonna give you another little lesson

in being a really good police dog.

Now, when I give you the command to attack

I just want you to show no mercy

just want you to crouch and come in.

Get back! He's a killer!

You kidding him? Listen, he's in the middle of training now.

Sheriff, there's somebody waiting for you in your office.

Excuse me, Flash.

How many times have I told you

that nobody goes into that office except Boss

the dog, or me when I'm not here.

But Sheriff, it's her! Your pen pal.

I don't care if it's the queen of... pen pal?

What in the world is Sue Ann doing here in Hazzard?

I recognized her scent from the letters you've been getting.

Oh, boy! She sure is a sweet-smelling thing.

Cletus, never mind how sweet she smells!

Why didn't you tell me she was here?

You hush!

Just hush.

Well... ain't you the handsomest hunk of man

in that there uniform you're wearing?

Sue Ann?

What the heck are you doing here in Hazzard County?

Rosco P. Coltrane! Is that all you got to say to a lady friend

after I come all the way here from Handlyville?

Or did you forget all that sweet talk you gave me

over the past three weeks since we met through

that computer dating service?

No, I didn't forget anything.

You see, I was sort of surprised to see you here.

Did anybody else see you come in here besides Cletus?

Why? Am I supposed to be some sort of deep, dark secret?

No, I hadn't gotten around to telling anybody, you see.

Or did you just figure you could toy with a lady's affections

and wave bye-bye like I was just nothing.

No, Sue Ann. Everything I told you was the honest truth.

Now, I wouldn't lie to you, you little..

- I don't lie to pretty... - Did you really?

Honey, you got me all saucered and spooned.

You just gave me a vapor lock, too.

- Now, how about the wedding? - A wedding.

Wedding?

I was right! You did take advantage of me.

All the past three weekends you took me for chop-suey

sharing our fortune cookies, rowing on the lake..

I told everybody I'd gone fishing!

You caught me, now you're ready to throw me back in the pond.

- Okay, I'll go. - No, Sue Ann.

Nobody said anything about you going.

Nobody said nothing about us getting married, neither.

Now, unless you do.

You didn't give me a chance.

Oh, Rosco!

- When? - When?

It's going to take a little bit of time.

I've got to tell my little fat buddy, Boss Hogg

and Flash, that's my dog.

I gotta tell Mama

and after she has her coronary, I would say about six months.

- Three months. - Rosco?

- Two? - Pervis?

- One? - Coltrane?

When would you like it?

- Tomorrow. - Tomorrow?

Tomorrow is the day after today.

Wait! You've got it.

Oh, sweetie!

Just one more thing, you'll make me the happiest gal in town.

Yeah, anything.

I always had my heart set on a big wedding

and me not having any family and all

you having all your deputies, Boss Hogg

and the whole town as your little family

it sure would be a nice turnout!

Anything that your heart desires just tickles me to death.

I gotta go over to the hotel now and freshen up.

Goodbye, you great, big, beautiful, he-man Sheriff.

Goodbye.

Your suitcase, here.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

Tomorrow?

Tomorrow?

Mama..

What happened to the General?

Who did that to you?

Shoot, I don't know.

A couple of guys ran us off the road and kept going.

Hit-and-run drivers, nothing worse or more low-down and dirty

than a hit and run. Do you have any idea who done it?

We actually got no idea.

You two didn't see a black sedan with strangers in it?

Got a big orange dent in the side.

- Not me, you? - No, can't say I have either.

We've been everywhere.

Me and Luke are gonna wander around town.

If we run into them, we'll teach them about driving.

Yeah, right after we get the bad news from Cooter.

Hey there, Cooter! How you doing?

- Hey, y'all! - Hi, Cooter!

Greetings! Where's my son? Didn't come for lunch again.

Hi, Mrs. Coltrane! He's in his office.

That child's gotten to be a caution to live with lately.

Mooning about the house all day and not eating proper-like.

What's a mother to do?

Mama, what are you doing here?

I've come to feed my little baby.

Now go wash your hands, lunch will be on the desk.

Mama, never mind the lunch.

I've got something bodacious to tell you.

Bodacious can wait.

My fricasseed hog jowls can't!

It's all set. We tie the knot tomorrow, right on schedule.

Friends, I smell something

and it ain't no bridal bouquet, either.

Fellas, you can't be taking the law in your own hands.

Uncle Jesse didn't raise us that way. You know better.

Cooter said it's gonna cost us $987.16 just to fix the body

on the General.

And we're about $987 short!

I get my hands on them, I'm going to shake...

'There they go!'

That's them!

I'll bring it back later, Daisy.

- You be careful! - Yes, ma'am.

With yourself, and that Jeep!

Married?

Rosco P. Coltrane, you can't get married. You ain't ready yet.

I'm 48 years old.

True, but you still don't pick your clothes up

your socks don't match

and you still squeeze your toothpaste from the middle.

You don't understand, I want a wife!

When you was five, you wanted a fire engine

and look how fine you growed up without it.

All them other kids had a fire engine.

So now you got a police car. Eat!

- There they are! - Right. Get them, cousin!

I swear he looks better, don't he?

Mama, I've made up my mind. I'm gonna marry Sue Ann.

I mean, we were meant for each other. Look, I'll show you.

You see this little article, it says:

"Are you lonesome?" And I am.

"You're looking for a date or a mate?" And I was.

"Write in today." And I did.

That is the Dixie Computer Dating and Marriage Service.

You mean you got a girl out of a machine?

Lordy, what won't they think of next?

Well, it's foolproof. See, we're really meant..

Listen, Mama, darling..

I just love you with all my heart and soul

I really do and I always will..

But don't you understand, there's something lacking

down deep inside of me.

Sometimes, I'm a very lonely man.

Well, son, if that's the way you really feel..

I won't stand in your way.

All I care about is your happiness.

You just go ahead and get married

and don't you worry none about your poor old Mama

who's gonna look for a real high window to jump out of.

- Take the alley, cut him off. - Alright.

Afternoon, Father!

Well, Bo and Luke weren't the only ones being surprised.

Married?

You, Rosco P. Coltrane my sheriff, getting married?

Buzzard on a buzz saw!

Rosco, you may be itchy and need to scratch.

But you are staying single, and that's an order.

You're a sheriff and you're supposed to have only one boss.

- Namely, you. - Namely, me!

- Boss, I really wanna do it. - I said forget it!

Last thing I need is a bossy wife telling her husband

my sheriff: "No, you shouldn't drive so fast.

No, you can't work late tonight.

No, you ain't getting a big enough cut of the take."

This marriage is off, cancelled, dead as a doornail!

But, Boss, you see, you don't understand.

I've already made arrangements to get married tomorrow.

I've invited everybody. You, Lulu and my dog, Flash.

I even invited Cletus.

Thank you, Sheriff, but you're forgetting

what day it is tomorrow?

No, I'm not forgetting, you dipstick. It's my wedding day!

Yeah, dodo! And it's also the day that

that special miner's payroll comes into my bank.

$100,000.

'Cold cash.'

I ain't gonna leave my bank unguarded while my officers are

at some dang fool wedding

letting anybody in to steal every last penny of that payroll

leaving me with nothing but the insurance company

to make good on the loss.

- Boss is right. - Boss is always right.

Not necessarily.

Not necessarily.

I'm being blind, just plumb blind.

Who am I to stand in the way of my good friend

'and brother-in-law, Rosco'

'who's throwing himself into the sea of matrimony?'

Cletus! You get out of here for a minute!

Rosco and I gotta talk about his wedding night. Man-to-man stuff.

- What am I, wearing a girdle? - You ought to be. Go.

He may be kin, but he's too stupid to be trusted.

Did I hear you right? Are you gonna really let me get married?

Yeah, I am, and afterwards you and me are gonna share

a $100,000 wedding present. The usual split, of course.

- Fifty-fifty? - Eighty-twenty.

- It's my wedding. - It's my money.

- It's my bank's money. - Bank's gonna give it to us?

No, deadhead.

The Southern Deposit Insurance Company

is gonna give us that money, that's who.

Why would they do that?

'Cause tomorrow I'm gonna arrange to have my bank robbed.

And it's gonna be done while every living, breathing soul

in Hazzard County is at your wedding.

Except them Dukes. I don't want them Dukes at my wedding.

Including the Dukes! There comes a time for forgiveness.

- One time I'll forgive them. - Only this ain't that time.

No, you just gave me another idea.

- You're so full of them. - I appreciate that.

This one's the greatest since instant grits.

I know it is. Which one is it?

This is the one that tomorrow we invite every soul in Hazzard

to your wedding except the Dukes.

Except the Dukes?

Which makes them the number-one suspect in the heist.

Them being the only ones who could've done it.

I love it!

I love it when you get those brilliant little ideas.

Get outta there!

We've been up and down every street in the county.

Haven't seen hide nor hair of them.

We can't give up yet.

Hey, Bo.

- Hi, guys. - Hey, how you doing, darling?

Okay, Bo.

The road heading north looks like the best escape route.

That's the one we're gonna use. It's a perfect setup.

Sue Ann does her job on that hick Sheriff

and we got that bank all to ourselves.

Could be our biggest take yet.

'There's those two guys we ran off the road.'

'Let's get outta here.'

Hey, you guys!

Bo, look out!

Come on, Bo.

Ain't them Dukes something?

They can climb out of a wrecked car without a scratch

but can't walk straight across a board.

Dang! They're getting away!

Those two fellas hit and run us again.

This time I got their license number.

'JRL 769.'

Good eyes!

Don't know what they're up to. They run us off the road

now they're throwing stuff at us.

Beats me.

But I'm aiming to find out! Come on, let's get back.

Cletus?

I'm going down to the Hazzard Emporium

and get my wedding suit.

It's white. You're gonna love it.

- Rosco, we got a problem. - We got hit and run.

$987.16 worth!

My, that's terrible.

We got the license number, though.

Hey, listen.

Rosco!

Hello, Bo, Luke! Nice day, isn't it?

Y'all excuse him.

He's not in his right senses what with getting married.

What?

Congratulations, Rosco. Who's the unlucky lady?

Her name is Sue Ann Bliss

but soon it'll be Mrs. Rosco P. Coltrane!

I love her.

That's nice, but we've got some official police business for ya.

We've got a license number for you to check out.

Haven't got time to talk with you now. I'm gone.

You've gotta call the state police.

You're a policeman, aren't you supposed to help us?

Cletus!

I'd love to help you, but there's nothing

I can do without the Sheriff telling me.

Won't you even talk to us?

Come on!

Uncle Jesse always said, "The Lord

helps those who help themselves".

He sure did.

Let's do it.

Who am I talking to, Jake or Jim?

Alright then. Now, listen good.

'You boys are gonna drive from Atlanta into Hazzard'

'arriving at exactly 3:00 tomorrow.'

Then, at exactly 3:05, you hit my bank.

At exactly 3:06, you'll have earned yourselves

$10,000 for your efforts.

You reckon old Boss found them

rental robbers in the Yellow Pages?

State police? This is Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane

calling from good old Hazzard County.

I want you to run a make on a couple of dipstick

hit-and-runners.

The license number is..

Jump!

No one can trace us now!

I always did believe in planning.

Well, so much for the Dukes' plan to trace the car.

Now what?

That's too bad.

This is Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane, I'm over and I'm gone.

What did he say?

The plates were issued in Handlyville.

But it's a dead number.

Probably stolen out of a junkyard or something.

Figure the General's in any kind of condition?

'Cooter's done most of the bodywork.'

'Didn't hurt the engine none.'

Alright, because we can't stop now.

We've gotta get Rosco to put out an APB on that black sedan.

Now while the boys were looking for the wrong car

the robbers were taking another look at the bank.

Beg your pardon, I was supposed to meet the Sheriff here.

He won't be coming in until it's time for his free lunch.

That's alright, Daisy, I'll see to the young lady.

I'll bet that you are Sheriff Rosco's intended.

That's right.

Rosco's what?

I'm Sue Ann Bliss, the Sheriff's fiancee.

And don't tell me. Rosco said that

the second-best-looking man in town was Boss J.D. Hogg.

- You've gotta be him. - Yeah.

How could Rosco's eyesight be so good one minute

and so very terrible the next?

That was right kindly of Rosco to say that about me.

Well, it's the truth.

You sure are everything that he said about you.

- Well, thank you. - And more.

Much more than I've expected from the likes of him.

That's right, you sit over there and I'll sit down right here

and we'll get acquainted.

That's right neighborly of you.

Well, honey, I'm not only your future brother-in-law

I'm Rosco's boss, he's my employee, and we...

J.D.!

Hello, how are you?

I was just welcoming our new sister-in-law into the family.

By way of what?

And you must be Lulu. It is so nice to meet you.

I've heard so many good things about you.

You must be my baby brother's bride-to-be.

Soon as Rosco told me the good news

I just figured I'd run right down here

and help with the arrangements.

'First of all, I don't think well' have'

any trouble getting the church.

- Church? - The church?

Sugar pot, I figured on having the wedding

right here, at the Boars Nest.

So did I.

This ain't no place for my one-and-only brother's

one-and-only wedding.

It better be if the bank to be robbed

is right across the street from that church!

Will one of you kindly give me one good reason why?

I could give you $100,000 why..

Reasons why.

Please, Lulu, it is my wedding

and I want it here, out in the country.

I'm footing the bill for the whole shindig

so I've got a say in where it's going to be

and I say here, where the air is better.

- If you insist... - Alright!

I've got a lot to do, I'd better be going.

I gotta get the cake, flowers, and festoons

you know, all those decorations!

You do that.

J.D.!

Coming, dumpling.

- Hey, Daisy. - Hey.

Have you seen Rosco anywhere?

No, he's due any time. But I've gotta tell you something.

This here's Rosco's intended.

- That is? - Yes!

- She is a knockout! - I know!

I can understand why Rosco is knocked out by her

but I can't understand her being floored by Rosco.

You've got a point there.

Hey, could we have a word with you?

Listen, don't bother me now, Bo. Can't you see that I'm busy?

But, Rosco, sweetie pie, I'd love to meet all your friends.

Then you don't wanna meet them,

because they're the scourge of the county.

While they're here, this is Luke Duke and Bo Duke.

- Pleased to meet you, ma'am. - Nice to meet you both.

- Why don't you boys sit down? - Yes, ma'am.

Congratulations on the happy event.

Where'd you all meet, anyway?

- At a blind date. - At a picnic.

It was a blind date at a picnic.

We've never seen you around before.

Where'd Rosco find you, anyway?

- Raleigh. - Handlyville.

What he meant was, I'm from Handlyville,

and we met in Raleigh.

You guys just gonna be loafing here

or do you have some official business?

That's exactly what we do have.

You know them guys who hit and run the General?

We want you to put out an APB on them for us.

They're from your neck of the woods: Handlyville.

No kidding!

I bet if we described them to her, she could help us out.

Now, there's two of them, dressed up like city slickers...

One's kind of short, medium height

and the other guy's real tall.

Gee, boys, but they don't sound like anyone I know.

Well, there's no wonder with that mish-mush description.

They don't sound like anybody that anybody ever heard of.

If you're done with your official business

then just scoot on out of here.

You ain't gonna do nothing about it?

I'll do something about it

when we get back from our honeymoon.

- A pleasure talking, ma'am. - Nice to meet you, ma'am.

Speaking of honeymoons...

Does it strike you a mite strange

that the lady and the car...

are both from a one-horse town like Handlyville?

It does, but not quite as strange

as a pretty girl like that chasing an old nag like Rosco.

You got that right.

- Lucky dog. - Yeah.

Her figure and Rosco's just don't add up.

No, sir.

I'm getting one of my famous gut feelings

there's more than a coincidence...

that them dudes showed up about the same time that she did.

There's the little lady right now.

I'll tell you what...

why don't we just tag her and see

if there really is a Handlyville connection?

You got it.

Hazzard County was beginning to hum like bees

around a honeycomb.

While Bo and Luke were checking out the bride-to-be...

the miners' all-cash payroll

was rolling toward the Bank of Hazzard.

And Boss' personal bank robbers...

were setting out from Atlanta to pull the same job...

Sue Ann and her confederates were planning on.

Now, did I leave anything out?

Looks like the connection's been made.

Why don't we get a little bit closer

and see if we can figure out what it is?

Hang in there, honey.

That armored car ought to be taking

that payroll money to the bank now.

Everything's gonna be just great!

Not so great. Two plowboys, one blond and one brunette...

they've been asking a lot of questions.

They know just what you look like.

We know who you mean.

We can't afford any witnesses. We'll take care of them...

for good.

Yeah, but do you know where to find them?

If they're driving an orange car with a "01" on it, we can.

If that ain't putting your foot in it, I'll sell my farm.

Has it occurred to you all that Bo and Luke

are concerned about Rosco being took...

even though they ain't exactly friends?

You know, I kind of like that.

Let's get out of here so we can figure out what it is.

You get back to Hazzard County, honey.

We'll take care of them plowboys.

HAZZARD COUNTY TELEPHONE COMPANY

There ain't nobody named Sue Ann Bliss in Handlyville

that's for sure.

All that tells us is either Bliss ain't her real name or...

Or else Handlyville ain't her hometown.

Yeah, could be.

You see, we figure they must have some kind of scam going on.

It don't seem right to stand at his wedding

and watch that happen.

We ain't invited, so there ain't nobody standing at his wedding.

Everybody in Hazzard is invited to that wedding.

We's the exception to the rule. We ain't been invited.

That being the case, whatever he's got himself into

he can handle it himself.

The heck with him. We'll take care of them two guys for us.

One wrong don't make another.

If you boys know something wrong is going to happen to Rosco...

it's your beholden duty to tell him about it.

Remember, you're Dukes first, and you dislike Rosco second.

Yes, sir.

Yes, Uncle Jesse.

Get over there, Hazel, if you want some.

HAZZARD POLICE

- Cletus, how're you doing? - Hi, guys!

The Sheriff ain't in. It's his wedding day.

Maybe you can help us. Me and Bo got a wager going on...

about how Rosco and Sue Ann got together.

I'm telling you, you're wrong. I say it was a blind date...

he says it's some Elk's picnic. Which is it?

You're both wrong! They met through the mail.

I've been delivering all them pretty-smelling letters.

His desk still smells so sweet.

We're much obliged for you settling that.

Thanks a lot.

Think nothing of it. I gotta split.

Gotta get all gussied up for the wedding.

- Thanks, Cletus. - Well, we both lost.

I sure feel funny doing this.

- It's for his own good. - Ours, too.

Hey!

- Would you look at this? - What've you got?

He met that pretty little filly at a computer dating service.

I'll be damned. Rosco...

He's so head over heels in love, he forgot to open up his mail.

That ain't all he forgot... here. Feast your eyes on that bunch.

Ain't that a kick in the tail?

What do you think they want with Rosco?

The only thing that makes any sense is

they must have put an ad in the paper...

some poor lonesome sucker, like Rosco, writes in...

they send him a mail-order bride and take him for all he's got.

Works fine, except Rosco ain't got nothing.

They sure were serious talking about us.

They gotta be after something.

Come on. Invite or no, we're going to that wedding

to get some answers.

Slow down, Bo.

I know we're in a rush, but let's get there in one piece.

Don't know how to tell you this...

but I can't slow down. The brakes ain't working.

I can't stop!

Folks, them boys are having more trouble...

than two stray heifers in a pasture full of bulls.

You alright?

- Could be better. - That was some slick driving.

Dang it!

CLOSED FOR WEDDING

Alright, everybody! Alright, folks!

Settle down, now.

The big day is about to begin.

And I sure do mean big day!

Boss' bad boys were hitting Hazzard

but sometimes things tend to go wrong.

Even for the bad guys.

Alright, folks. Now that you've all settled down...

we will proceed.

Send in the groom.

I still say you ain't old enough.

Next time I catch you dressed all in white...

you'd better be wearing wings and strumming a harp!

Here comes the bride!

Thought you should know, he eats his peas off his knife.

Dearly beloved, friends...

all you relatives and kinfolk...

constituents, fellow citizens...

we're gathered here today...

to join in the holy bonds of matrimony...

this here fine couple.

My baby!

The brake line's been cut.

Carburetor's all jammed!

We still gotta get to that wedding.

The question is, how the heck are we gonna do that?

That, there, is how.

And I'm driving!

After that? You're crazy.

Do you suppose Old Man Miller will get upset if we borrow it?

Not if I send the horse back with Daisy...

and a couple quarts of her pickled peaches.

Sue Ann Bliss...

do you take this here man, Rosco P. Coltrane...

as your lawfully wedded husband?

I do.

HAZZARD - 10 MILES

Remember what I said about things going wrong?

And do you, Rosco, take this here woman, Sue Ann Bliss...

- to be... - I do.

Not yet!

To be your devoted wife?

- Now! - I do.

I really do. I just...

Well, with everybody at the wedding

the bank's just a sitting duck...

on an egg full of money.

Unless of course, the Duke boys can stop them.

Therefore, with the powers vested in me...

as Justice of the Peace of Hazzard County...

I now pronounce you, Rosco, and you, Sue Ann...

man and wife!

And so, Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane...

last of the red-hot bachelors, got hitched.

And many a maiden cried that night.

Goodbye!

General Lee's never looked so cute. Hey, boy.

I'm afraid the General hit a little hay.

Ain't that what he's supposed to be doing?

We ain't got time right now for all the details.

- Turns out me and Bo was right. - What?

These three people here, they're out to milk somebody...

and for some reason, Rosco P. Coltrane is the goat.

This don't tell us what they are, but it tells who they are.

That's her, alright.

Let's don't stand here gabbing, let's go and show it to Rosco!

He'll be wanting to know what's going on.

Don't start off till I get in!

BANK OF HAZZARD COUNTY

- Hey, Cletus, where's Rosco? - Gone on his honeymoon.

I gotta get back to guarding that special cash payroll.

Special cash payroll?

Yeah, can't leave it alone too long. Too big a temptation.

- The bank! - What about the bank?

We got a feeling somebody's robbing it.

Somebody's robbing my bank! My goodness, thieves!

Here's some friends of Sue Ann's,

we wouldn't be surprised...

if they were ripping off your bank while she kept you busy.

What're you saying?

Everybody! My bank's being robbed!

Back to town! I deputize each and every one of you!

Come on, everybody! Help me save my bank!

- Come on! - Get in the car!

SHERIFF - JUST MARRIED

Mrs. Rosco P. Coltrane...

we're alone, at last.

If you like, honey, why don't we just pull over and park?

Pull over and park? You mean, you and me?

See, I booked a room.

Look at those beautiful orange flowers over there.

Why don't we pull over and you can pick me one?

- Pull over and pick you one? - Yes.

Right over there.

Those?

I guess we got a little time.

I'll just ease off the road here a little bit...

and we'll tiptoe through the tulips.

I love it!

- Aren't they beautiful! - I know they are, but...

If you could just... you know...

Have you ever seen such flowers?

Well, they're pretty, alright. Those are the...

Friends and neighbors, I think this marriage

is off to a rocky start.

Bye, Mrs. Coltrane! Hello, Mrs. McGraw!

I sure hope we're on the right road.

We are. There's his car.

Rosco!

You alright?

- I'll knock you into the... - Take it easy, it's us!

There must have been 28 of them.

The big hairy one...

Then they got Sue Ann! They kidnapped her!

Calm down, Rosco. We'll take care of it.

We'll go after them in the Jeep.

What? Now listen...

The dang thing must have flooded out when we came up the hill.

We gotta take Rosco's car, then.

Come on, Rosco. Hop in here, you'll be alright.

It'll be a smooth ride.

Listen, let's take it across country.

That way, maybe we can cut them off.

You'll find her for me?

Oh, those moley, mangy wife snatchers!

If I... Just hold on a second, Rosco.

We don't know how to break this to you...

but there's a good chance you ain't married to nobody.

What do you mean? A chance I ain't married to Sue Ann?

That's right, Rosco.

Shoot, go ahead and show him the poster, Luke.

- What poster? - I think you're right.

What're you boys talking about?

Best to hurt a little bit now than a lot more later on.

Now them two guys there probably stuffed you in the trunk.

Chances are pretty good, her name being the same...

that she's married to one of them.

She took you real good, Rosco.

All the time she had you thinking you was marrying her...

they was out robbing the dang bank.

Gotta admit though, it was quite a good scam.

You all hush! You're lying.

You boys just lie to me all the time.

There ain't a Duke alive who lied to you, and you know it.

Oh, yeah? How about that one time...

If you think any different, you're just lying to yourself.

If you ain't lying to me, that means...

Sue Ann is lying to me. Right?

That's right, Rosco. Listen...

Luke and me is real sorry. You've gotta believe that.

I am, too. You know...

Mama said that...

I was too young to get married anyway.

At this rate, we ain't gonna beat them to the county line.

We'd have a chance though, if we cut across the dry riverbed...

right down by Cross-Crick Road.

We sure can!

Can't we go a different direction?

Hang on, Flash!

BRIDGE OUT

By the time we hit that blacktop

we'll be close to the county line.

There's a white car up ahead!

Go for it, let's check it out.

Hey, that's great!

Kind of a kick being on the other side for a change.

Will you hush?

Oh, no! Step on it!

Well, Luke, they ain't slowing down.

They're serious!

Keep her on the road, Bo.

And since we're all legal, let's go whole hog here!

That's teargas!

- Try to get them off the road. - Hang on, Rosco!

Alright!

- Alright, come on. - My eyes!

You alright? Now throw them down here.

You really played me for a fool, didn't you, Sue Ann?

I'm sorry.

I really am, Rosco.

Not for what I did, but because I did it to you.

You really are kind of cute.

So, old Rosco had to be content with making a little history.

He was the only annulment in the Court of Hazzard County.

They even had to look it up.

Mama Coltrane didn't have to jump off of no high building.

Boss got his payroll money back alright, but it did cost him.

A reward of exactly what it cost...

to fix the General up.

If you all think Rosco's wedding was something...

you ought to see what happens on a Hazzard honeymoon!