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1
00:00:01,217 --> 00:00:03,141
- Will you be my maid of honor?
- Yeah.
2
00:00:03,208 --> 00:00:04,943
Whoo!
3
00:00:05,010 --> 00:00:06,445
It's Mad Amber.
4
00:00:06,512 --> 00:00:09,080
After eight tries as MOH,
I'm actually so relieved
5
00:00:09,147 --> 00:00:11,850
to just be a bridesmaid
this time.
6
00:00:11,917 --> 00:00:14,753
You could be digging these up
on the Isle of Wight.
7
00:00:14,819 --> 00:00:16,354
You should apply.
8
00:00:20,159 --> 00:00:21,426
I mean, it's a big day,
isn't it?
9
00:00:21,493 --> 00:00:23,262
- Yeah, as I have a date--
- Dress fitting!
10
00:00:23,328 --> 00:00:25,531
- No, I have a date.
- No, you have a dress fitting.
11
00:00:25,598 --> 00:00:26,965
I can do both.
12
00:00:27,032 --> 00:00:28,767
Oh, sh--oh, sorry.
13
00:00:28,834 --> 00:00:32,104
Must be quite a stimulating
space for you, Nina.
14
00:00:32,170 --> 00:00:33,873
Fuck!
15
00:00:33,939 --> 00:00:35,207
I'm sorry about today.
16
00:00:35,274 --> 00:00:37,009
I'm really sorry too.
17
00:00:37,076 --> 00:00:39,445
- Night, Nina.
- Night, Evie.
18
00:00:39,511 --> 00:00:42,581
Night, Neen-meister.
19
00:00:42,648 --> 00:00:46,919
Save it for the second date.
20
00:00:46,985 --> 00:00:48,987
Is there a second date?
21
00:00:49,054 --> 00:00:50,522
If you have the time.
22
00:00:54,526 --> 00:00:56,595
Look, Nina,
I know that Amber and Mum
23
00:00:56,662 --> 00:00:58,096
really grind your gears,
24
00:00:58,163 --> 00:01:00,966
but this is my last weekend
of freedom.
25
00:01:01,033 --> 00:01:02,535
There'll be no drama.
No.
26
00:01:02,601 --> 00:01:05,170
Just all my favorite people
in my favorite place,
27
00:01:05,237 --> 00:01:06,772
getting fucked up
away from Glasgow,
28
00:01:06,839 --> 00:01:09,441
creating hilarious stories
that I'm gonna tell forever.
29
00:01:09,508 --> 00:01:11,443
I've tried my best
to plan you
30
00:01:11,510 --> 00:01:13,311
a lovely hen do away
in Rothesay,
31
00:01:13,378 --> 00:01:15,281
but please do keep in mind, Evie,
32
00:01:15,347 --> 00:01:16,848
it is still Rothesay.
33
00:01:16,915 --> 00:01:18,450
Yeah.
34
00:01:18,517 --> 00:01:20,719
But it's the sort of place
where we can really go wild.
35
00:01:20,786 --> 00:01:22,954
- Girls!
- Ah!
36
00:01:23,021 --> 00:01:24,957
Hello!
37
00:01:25,023 --> 00:01:26,825
Oh, Evie.
38
00:01:26,892 --> 00:01:29,861
The last weekend of freedom
with all our girls.
39
00:01:31,463 --> 00:01:33,431
So who are we
still waiting on?
40
00:01:33,498 --> 00:01:34,866
Amber and Mum were
the only two people
41
00:01:34,933 --> 00:01:36,502
that paid the deposit on time.
42
00:01:36,568 --> 00:01:38,570
Oh.
It's fine.
43
00:01:38,637 --> 00:01:39,905
This is all we need.
44
00:01:39,971 --> 00:01:41,206
This is all we need.
45
00:01:44,243 --> 00:01:50,116
♪ ♪
46
00:01:57,088 --> 00:02:00,525
Who doesn't let the girl
be Rose on their own hen party?
47
00:02:00,592 --> 00:02:03,929
My heart will go on
for you, Evie.
48
00:02:03,996 --> 00:02:05,297
Oh, my God.
49
00:02:05,363 --> 00:02:06,798
Oh, my God, that's it.
50
00:02:06,865 --> 00:02:08,100
That's Rothesay, isn't it?
51
00:02:08,167 --> 00:02:10,903
Oh, let's get fucked up!
52
00:02:17,777 --> 00:02:19,779
Nina, get in here!
53
00:02:20,979 --> 00:02:22,514
Oggy, Oggy, Oggy!
54
00:02:22,581 --> 00:02:23,982
Oi, oi, oi!
55
00:02:24,049 --> 00:02:25,718
Oh, this is all we need!
56
00:02:25,784 --> 00:02:29,187
This is all we need!
57
00:02:29,254 --> 00:02:35,461
♪ ♪
58
00:02:43,001 --> 00:02:44,903
It's exactly the same!
59
00:02:44,970 --> 00:02:46,671
It's exactly the same.
60
00:02:46,738 --> 00:02:50,075
And this island has no idea
what's coming to it.
61
00:02:51,644 --> 00:02:53,078
Should we ask him
for information?
62
00:02:53,144 --> 00:02:54,579
If you want to get groped.
63
00:02:54,646 --> 00:02:56,048
Is that absinthe?
64
00:02:56,115 --> 00:02:57,282
Nina, look.
65
00:02:57,349 --> 00:02:59,484
You used to love
those Victorian toilets.
66
00:02:59,551 --> 00:03:02,288
Used to say, "I can't believe
I'm sitting on history."
67
00:03:02,354 --> 00:03:04,055
Shitting on history.
68
00:03:04,122 --> 00:03:05,390
I didn't have the heart
to tell you
69
00:03:05,457 --> 00:03:07,927
they were renovated
in the '90s.
70
00:03:07,993 --> 00:03:10,796
So, Nina, where to first?
71
00:03:10,862 --> 00:03:13,064
Oh, just you wait and see.
72
00:03:14,833 --> 00:03:16,468
To the sesh!
73
00:03:19,505 --> 00:03:21,907
Oh, I'll get the bags then.
74
00:03:24,977 --> 00:03:25,978
♪ ♪
75
00:03:26,044 --> 00:03:27,546
Nice bags, darling.
76
00:03:27,612 --> 00:03:30,582
Thank you for the help,
you pervert.
77
00:03:30,649 --> 00:03:34,085
♪ ♪
78
00:03:34,152 --> 00:03:37,556
Welcome to mini golf
with a twist.
79
00:03:37,623 --> 00:03:42,328
Each hole represents one
of your many, many, many exes,
80
00:03:42,394 --> 00:03:44,362
with the final hole being...
81
00:03:44,429 --> 00:03:45,698
The ultimate hole
82
00:03:45,764 --> 00:03:48,700
of your gorgeous
future husband, Ranesh.
83
00:03:48,767 --> 00:03:50,102
Wow!
84
00:03:50,168 --> 00:03:52,304
What an amazing shock.
85
00:03:52,371 --> 00:03:54,406
Look at all
my failed relationships.
86
00:03:54,473 --> 00:03:57,742
Nina, you did so well
to plan this all by yourself.
87
00:03:58,777 --> 00:04:01,413
I still get sweet texts
from that one.
88
00:04:02,747 --> 00:04:04,149
Mum, he's a scammer.
89
00:04:04,216 --> 00:04:05,917
I bought his bitcoins.
90
00:04:05,984 --> 00:04:10,689
♪ ♪
91
00:04:12,157 --> 00:04:13,525
She was a bawbag.
92
00:04:13,592 --> 00:04:16,127
She never laughed at my jokes,
and I'm funny.
93
00:04:16,194 --> 00:04:17,829
She never deserved you, Evie.
94
00:04:19,931 --> 00:04:22,635
Now Evie's on
to the last hole.
95
00:04:22,701 --> 00:04:24,803
Whoo-hoo!
96
00:04:24,870 --> 00:04:26,504
Evie, isn't it crazy?
97
00:04:26,571 --> 00:04:29,541
Everywhere you go,
Ranesh will be there.
98
00:04:29,608 --> 00:04:30,876
You wake up, he's there.
99
00:04:30,943 --> 00:04:32,778
You go to bed, he's there.
100
00:04:32,844 --> 00:04:33,979
Just him.
101
00:04:34,045 --> 00:04:36,948
Always and forever.
102
00:04:37,015 --> 00:04:39,651
You're the luckiest girl
in the world.
103
00:04:39,718 --> 00:04:40,919
Manifest it, babe.
104
00:04:40,986 --> 00:04:42,454
Put your ball
in his hole, Evie.
105
00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:44,656
Visualize walking
down the aisle.
106
00:04:44,723 --> 00:04:45,957
Ranesh forevs.
107
00:04:46,024 --> 00:04:48,593
You have to really
want this, Evie!
108
00:04:51,129 --> 00:04:52,631
Aww.
109
00:04:52,698 --> 00:04:54,232
Not to worry, darling.
110
00:04:54,299 --> 00:04:57,636
Yeah, Ranesh is really hard.
111
00:04:57,703 --> 00:04:59,004
Right.
112
00:04:59,071 --> 00:05:00,706
Nina, where to next?
113
00:05:00,773 --> 00:05:02,041
Beach, then B&B.
114
00:05:02,108 --> 00:05:03,075
Whoo-hoo!
115
00:05:03,141 --> 00:05:04,209
Ooh!
116
00:05:04,276 --> 00:05:07,446
♪ ♪
117
00:05:07,513 --> 00:05:09,915
Suitcases!
118
00:05:09,982 --> 00:05:11,416
Shite-hawks.
119
00:05:17,589 --> 00:05:18,757
Come and join me, girls!
120
00:05:18,823 --> 00:05:20,659
It's really not cold at all!
121
00:05:20,726 --> 00:05:23,195
Yeah, just putting on
sun cream!
122
00:05:23,262 --> 00:05:24,797
Whoo!
123
00:05:24,863 --> 00:05:26,632
God, that's depressing.
124
00:05:26,699 --> 00:05:29,267
Nina, when's it all
gonna kick off?
125
00:05:29,334 --> 00:05:30,368
Been here
for, like, three hours
126
00:05:30,435 --> 00:05:32,604
and we've not had any...
127
00:05:32,671 --> 00:05:33,939
You said you wanted
to come to the beach,
128
00:05:34,006 --> 00:05:35,507
so I brought you to the beach.
129
00:05:35,574 --> 00:05:37,443
I've got this scheduled
for another two hours.
130
00:05:37,510 --> 00:05:40,645
Look, no offense intended
in the slightest, Nina--
131
00:05:40,712 --> 00:05:42,948
this sesh is worse
than my granddad's funeral.
132
00:05:43,014 --> 00:05:44,449
And he fell out the coffin.
133
00:05:44,516 --> 00:05:46,752
This is Evie's final chance
to get fucked up
134
00:05:46,818 --> 00:05:49,622
before she's chained
to the beautiful ball and chain
135
00:05:49,688 --> 00:05:50,756
that is Ranesh.
136
00:05:50,822 --> 00:05:54,126
And we need to make
the most of it.
137
00:05:54,193 --> 00:05:55,661
God, he's great.
138
00:05:55,728 --> 00:05:58,163
Amber, can you stop
with the Ranesh praising?
139
00:05:58,229 --> 00:06:01,133
My point is,
this has to be the send-off
140
00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:03,268
that Evie deserves.
141
00:06:03,335 --> 00:06:05,937
We're gonna need something
stronger than absinthe.
142
00:06:06,004 --> 00:06:08,741
I'm freezing
my tits off, but I feel alive!
143
00:06:08,807 --> 00:06:12,677
I'm talking about...
Drugs.
144
00:06:12,744 --> 00:06:15,781
Oh, my God, yeah. Please.
145
00:06:15,848 --> 00:06:17,315
How the hell are we getting
drugs in Rothesay?
146
00:06:17,382 --> 00:06:19,551
Yeah, good point.
147
00:06:19,618 --> 00:06:22,253
OK, Nina, you look after Mum.
148
00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:24,556
- We're gonna go find some drugs.
- Eh, eh, eh.
149
00:06:24,623 --> 00:06:26,258
Why do you assume
that I don't know
150
00:06:26,325 --> 00:06:28,994
how to get that kind of stuff?
151
00:06:29,061 --> 00:06:30,429
I know that Mum treats me
like a toddler,
152
00:06:30,496 --> 00:06:32,865
but I know
how to procure drugs.
153
00:06:32,932 --> 00:06:34,700
- Oh, do you now?
- Yes, I do.
154
00:06:34,766 --> 00:06:36,034
Come in, girls!
155
00:06:36,101 --> 00:06:38,771
Oh, I'm gonna go
phone my drug friend
156
00:06:38,837 --> 00:06:40,772
who knows about drugs.
157
00:06:40,839 --> 00:06:42,808
She's so full of surprises.
158
00:06:42,875 --> 00:06:44,776
Who knew?
159
00:06:46,611 --> 00:06:48,747
- I'm serious, Bo.
- I'm sorry.
160
00:06:48,814 --> 00:06:51,650
I'm just picturing you
holed up on a cocaine farm
161
00:06:51,716 --> 00:06:54,786
with two guns in your pants
and a dead hooker in the boot.
162
00:06:56,588 --> 00:06:57,989
What do you want drugs for, anyway?
163
00:06:58,056 --> 00:06:59,691
Can you help me or can't you?
164
00:06:59,758 --> 00:07:02,127
You know, my days of uppers
are behind me, Nina.
165
00:07:02,194 --> 00:07:03,362
Are you not
in Ranesh's stag do?
166
00:07:03,428 --> 00:07:05,330
Does he not have any?
167
00:07:05,397 --> 00:07:07,032
He refuses to call it a stag
168
00:07:07,098 --> 00:07:08,967
'cause of the patriarchal associations.
169
00:07:09,034 --> 00:07:11,003
Hang on.
170
00:07:11,070 --> 00:07:13,638
I will activate my blue tit
171
00:07:13,705 --> 00:07:16,341
and gain one worm
and two wheat,
172
00:07:16,408 --> 00:07:19,745
and... I've done it.
173
00:07:19,812 --> 00:07:21,480
I've diversified the wetlands.
174
00:07:21,546 --> 00:07:23,415
Yes!
175
00:07:23,482 --> 00:07:25,183
I knew I would.
I knew I would.
176
00:07:25,250 --> 00:07:26,618
Yeah, there's no drugs here.
177
00:07:26,685 --> 00:07:28,287
Can you have, like,
a wee scramble about,
178
00:07:28,354 --> 00:07:30,188
see if you can find some,
and then bring them to me?
179
00:07:30,255 --> 00:07:31,623
Afraid not.
180
00:07:31,690 --> 00:07:33,024
I'm actually not allowed
to set foot in Rothesay
181
00:07:33,091 --> 00:07:35,260
after I punched that swan.
182
00:07:35,327 --> 00:07:37,395
Nina, you're from Glasgow.
183
00:07:37,462 --> 00:07:39,398
Even you will know someone
that knows someone.
184
00:07:39,465 --> 00:07:41,099
Just think about
the coolest person you know,
185
00:07:41,166 --> 00:07:42,734
someone that works
a minimum wage job
186
00:07:42,801 --> 00:07:44,603
but never seems to be
worried about money.
187
00:07:44,670 --> 00:07:47,306
That guy is probably
selling something.
188
00:07:47,372 --> 00:07:49,174
OK, Bo.
Love you. Bye.
189
00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:51,309
Love--
190
00:07:51,376 --> 00:07:53,445
What do they say, "birds
of a feather flock together"?
191
00:07:53,512 --> 00:07:55,781
Unless you're me, the winner.
192
00:07:55,847 --> 00:07:58,683
Yes.
193
00:08:05,590 --> 00:08:09,094
Hello?
194
00:08:13,031 --> 00:08:14,065
Hi.
195
00:08:14,132 --> 00:08:15,667
Who is this?
196
00:08:15,734 --> 00:08:19,672
This is Nina
from the museum and the date.
197
00:08:19,738 --> 00:08:21,073
I fell in the toilet.
198
00:08:21,139 --> 00:08:24,343
Yeah, you don't need to say
"Nina from."
199
00:08:24,410 --> 00:08:26,312
You're actually
the only Nina I know.
200
00:08:26,378 --> 00:08:28,346
You're my one and only Nina.
201
00:08:31,217 --> 00:08:33,885
Are you... jumping?
202
00:08:33,952 --> 00:08:37,556
No.
Erm, just fixing my coat.
203
00:08:39,191 --> 00:08:44,062
Do you, erm, perchance... dabble...
204
00:08:46,298 --> 00:08:48,266
In drugs?
205
00:08:50,402 --> 00:08:51,637
Let me cut
to the chase here, friend.
206
00:08:51,703 --> 00:08:54,573
I am three hours deep
in a hen party
207
00:08:54,639 --> 00:08:55,808
where I am maid of honor,
208
00:08:55,874 --> 00:08:57,643
and nothing fun nor epic
has happened.
209
00:08:57,709 --> 00:08:59,444
And as maid of honor,
it's within my remit
210
00:08:59,511 --> 00:09:02,047
to create fun and epicness,
so could you bring me drugs
211
00:09:02,113 --> 00:09:03,648
so I can make
something fun happen?
212
00:09:03,715 --> 00:09:05,317
Drugs.
213
00:09:05,384 --> 00:09:08,687
Drugs. Drugs!
Drugs. Yeah, yeah.
214
00:09:08,753 --> 00:09:12,057
No, I can--I mean, I'm--I'm--
I'm--I'm meant to be work--
215
00:09:12,124 --> 00:09:13,892
no, no, no, I can do it.
I can do it. Yeah.
216
00:09:13,959 --> 00:09:15,360
Oh, do you know
where to get them?
217
00:09:15,427 --> 00:09:17,162
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, of course. Yeah.
218
00:09:17,229 --> 00:09:20,432
Just--I just need
to make a few calls.
219
00:09:20,499 --> 00:09:24,002
Awesome, and, um,
could you bring them to me?
220
00:09:24,069 --> 00:09:25,804
I'm in a place called Rothesay.
221
00:09:25,871 --> 00:09:26,872
Rothesay?
222
00:09:26,939 --> 00:09:28,040
Oh, I hear it's--
223
00:09:28,106 --> 00:09:29,307
No, it's not.
224
00:09:29,374 --> 00:09:30,509
Right.
225
00:09:30,576 --> 00:09:34,245
No, I'll--I'll--
I'll get the stuff, Nina.
226
00:09:34,312 --> 00:09:35,781
Just--just give me a few hours.
227
00:09:35,848 --> 00:09:37,182
Oh!
228
00:09:37,249 --> 00:09:39,418
Ah... I'm your man.
229
00:09:39,485 --> 00:09:41,653
OK, thank you.
230
00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:43,655
OK. Love you. Bye.
231
00:09:45,524 --> 00:09:48,159
Fuck.
232
00:09:50,729 --> 00:09:54,133
Hello!
233
00:09:54,199 --> 00:09:56,301
I've procured the gear.
234
00:09:56,368 --> 00:09:58,470
They're gonna be here
in a couple of hours.
235
00:09:58,536 --> 00:09:59,404
Whoo!
236
00:09:59,471 --> 00:10:02,641
To the B&B!
237
00:10:02,707 --> 00:10:04,977
What are you screaming about?
238
00:10:05,044 --> 00:10:07,179
We love you!
239
00:10:07,246 --> 00:10:08,314
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God!
240
00:10:08,381 --> 00:10:10,082
♪ I'm not surprised ♪
241
00:10:10,148 --> 00:10:11,917
♪ Said I'm your type ♪
242
00:10:11,983 --> 00:10:16,121
♪ Can't look at you
with those wandering eyes ♪
243
00:10:16,187 --> 00:10:17,623
♪ Tell me the truth ♪
244
00:10:17,689 --> 00:10:20,725
Ooh. Blame the curb.
245
00:10:20,792 --> 00:10:22,160
Are you all right?
246
00:10:22,227 --> 00:10:23,362
I'm amazing, Nina.
247
00:10:23,428 --> 00:10:25,463
I'm having such a good time.
248
00:10:25,530 --> 00:10:27,732
There's this play park
on the hill by the harbor.
249
00:10:27,799 --> 00:10:30,136
And we took Nina there
when she was 13.
250
00:10:30,202 --> 00:10:31,603
She got stuck in a slide,
251
00:10:31,670 --> 00:10:33,972
and she was screaming
so loudly.
252
00:10:34,039 --> 00:10:35,274
Mum, stop.
253
00:10:35,341 --> 00:10:37,242
When the fire department
rescued her,
254
00:10:37,309 --> 00:10:39,444
we realized she'd just been
holding on to the inside
255
00:10:39,511 --> 00:10:41,147
- the entire time.
- No.
256
00:10:41,213 --> 00:10:43,115
And she kept yelling,
"Stop laughing!"
257
00:10:43,182 --> 00:10:44,683
which meant
everybody couldn't stop--
258
00:10:44,750 --> 00:10:45,750
Mum, stop!
259
00:10:45,817 --> 00:10:47,119
Stop it!
260
00:10:47,185 --> 00:10:48,486
It's not funny.
261
00:10:51,890 --> 00:10:56,629
And now for the next stop
in our extravaganza,
262
00:10:56,695 --> 00:10:59,164
a place
with more elderly gentlemen
263
00:10:59,231 --> 00:11:02,267
than Amber's pants.
264
00:11:02,334 --> 00:11:03,835
It's the pub.
265
00:11:08,707 --> 00:11:10,009
Are you OK?
266
00:11:10,075 --> 00:11:11,510
-Yeah, very.
-Yes?
267
00:11:11,577 --> 00:11:13,946
We're now gonna hand over
to Amber,
268
00:11:14,012 --> 00:11:16,582
who is gonna make us play
a weird game.
269
00:11:16,648 --> 00:11:19,985
Thank you so much for
the kind introduction, Nina.
270
00:11:20,052 --> 00:11:21,020
OK.
271
00:11:21,086 --> 00:11:23,923
So everyone write down
272
00:11:23,989 --> 00:11:27,126
three of your deepest, darkest,
most sexual secrets.
273
00:11:27,192 --> 00:11:29,228
There's only one rule--
don't be boring.
274
00:11:31,263 --> 00:11:32,597
It's a hen party,
for God's sake.
275
00:11:32,664 --> 00:11:34,300
It's obviously only funny
if it's about sex.
276
00:11:34,366 --> 00:11:35,867
Oh, Nina, shut your ears.
277
00:11:35,934 --> 00:11:38,737
I've done it 13 times.
278
00:11:40,338 --> 00:11:42,107
Boop.
279
00:11:42,174 --> 00:11:49,381
♪ ♪
280
00:11:59,592 --> 00:12:02,261
Haven't got my glasses.
281
00:12:02,327 --> 00:12:04,096
You don't wear glasses.
282
00:12:04,163 --> 00:12:06,698
Shh.
283
00:12:06,765 --> 00:12:10,435
"I've had a thing
for Alan Titsmarsh
284
00:12:10,502 --> 00:12:14,272
since I saw him in the street
in the early '90s."
285
00:12:14,339 --> 00:12:17,009
Oh, that's a head-scratcher.
286
00:12:17,075 --> 00:12:18,811
OK, so just to reiterate,
287
00:12:18,877 --> 00:12:22,147
this game's meant to be
really outrageous.
288
00:12:22,214 --> 00:12:26,251
It's obviously mum.
289
00:12:26,318 --> 00:12:27,686
- Was it you?
- Yeah.
290
00:12:27,753 --> 00:12:30,789
It's just the way
he holds his trowel.
291
00:12:33,826 --> 00:12:37,629
"I had a dream about pumping
David Attenborough."
292
00:12:39,898 --> 00:12:41,400
Nina.
293
00:12:41,466 --> 00:12:43,668
Nina, you can't say that.
294
00:12:43,735 --> 00:12:45,070
He's, like, 100 years old.
295
00:12:45,137 --> 00:12:46,705
Amber said to make it sexy.
296
00:12:46,772 --> 00:12:48,774
Attenborough's
a national treasure, Nina.
297
00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:50,709
Nina, inappropriate.
298
00:12:52,344 --> 00:12:55,347
It was only a dream.
299
00:12:55,414 --> 00:12:57,550
I didn't actually do it.
300
00:13:00,252 --> 00:13:03,489
"I threw a hot dog
at a painting
301
00:13:03,556 --> 00:13:05,724
"in the National Portrait Gallery.
302
00:13:05,791 --> 00:13:07,960
"When the police questioned me,
I lied
303
00:13:08,026 --> 00:13:11,630
and said I'd done it as part
of the Stop Oil movement.
304
00:13:11,696 --> 00:13:15,600
And also, I think
I'm addicted to pegging."
305
00:13:20,039 --> 00:13:21,574
Amber?
306
00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:23,175
Nice try.
307
00:13:23,241 --> 00:13:25,077
That is so you, Nina.
308
00:13:25,143 --> 00:13:26,978
Nina, is this
overstimulating you?
309
00:13:27,045 --> 00:13:28,847
Do you need a quiet space?
310
00:13:28,914 --> 00:13:31,016
- No, I'm fine.
- OK.
311
00:13:36,922 --> 00:13:39,324
"I've led someone on."
312
00:13:39,391 --> 00:13:41,359
That's all it says.
313
00:13:44,430 --> 00:13:47,066
It's me.
It's me again. Oh.
314
00:13:47,133 --> 00:13:48,500
-Nina!
- What am I like?
315
00:13:48,567 --> 00:13:50,402
You should never
lead anyone on, Nina.
316
00:13:50,468 --> 00:13:51,670
Ever.
317
00:13:51,737 --> 00:13:52,671
Who was it?
318
00:13:52,737 --> 00:13:53,705
Just a man at work.
319
00:13:53,772 --> 00:13:55,040
Oh, an admirer?
320
00:13:55,106 --> 00:13:57,176
No, it's the man from--
321
00:13:57,242 --> 00:13:58,677
the coffee man.
322
00:13:58,744 --> 00:13:59,678
Erm, the coffee van man.
323
00:13:59,745 --> 00:14:00,946
It's the coffee van man.
324
00:14:01,012 --> 00:14:03,348
And we have this chemistry,
325
00:14:03,415 --> 00:14:05,651
this frisson of sexual tension.
326
00:14:05,717 --> 00:14:09,421
And--and--and I have been
flirting with him a lot,
327
00:14:09,487 --> 00:14:12,991
which is bad,
because I get bored at work.
328
00:14:13,058 --> 00:14:15,594
So I just head over
to the coffee van
329
00:14:15,660 --> 00:14:18,931
in my practical
but alluring dress,
330
00:14:18,998 --> 00:14:21,500
and I pop a button
331
00:14:21,566 --> 00:14:24,403
and squeeze my boobs together
really hard.
332
00:14:24,470 --> 00:14:26,372
And I just do it
so that I can--
333
00:14:26,438 --> 00:14:28,807
I can feel something,
to feel alive.
334
00:14:28,873 --> 00:14:31,009
And--and the worst part is,
335
00:14:31,076 --> 00:14:33,511
is he's coming here tonight,
so--
336
00:14:33,578 --> 00:14:36,115
Nina, you shouldn't be
leading this poor boy on
337
00:14:36,181 --> 00:14:37,683
just for your own amusement.
338
00:14:37,749 --> 00:14:39,751
It's a terrible thing to do.
Yes, I know, Mum!
339
00:14:39,818 --> 00:14:42,521
That's why I wrote it
in a confession square.
340
00:14:42,588 --> 00:14:45,557
Nina.
You dark horse.
341
00:14:49,428 --> 00:14:53,265
Evie?
342
00:14:55,066 --> 00:14:58,170
Evie.
343
00:14:58,237 --> 00:15:00,573
I'm fine.
344
00:15:00,639 --> 00:15:01,640
I'm fine.
345
00:15:01,707 --> 00:15:03,308
It's just,
you don't seem fine
346
00:15:03,375 --> 00:15:05,344
with the running to the toilet
and vomiting loudly.
347
00:15:07,613 --> 00:15:08,713
Evie.
348
00:15:08,780 --> 00:15:11,350
You wrote that truth,
didn't you?
349
00:15:11,416 --> 00:15:12,952
Ugh!
350
00:15:13,019 --> 00:15:15,187
You got me.
351
00:15:15,253 --> 00:15:18,490
I've got a thing
for the Titsmarsh.
352
00:15:25,030 --> 00:15:26,632
Are you OK?
353
00:15:30,736 --> 00:15:32,838
It's nothing. I'm fine.
354
00:15:32,905 --> 00:15:35,474
- You're allowed to be scared.
- I'm not scared!
355
00:15:35,540 --> 00:15:38,543
Just stop worrying about me.
356
00:15:42,180 --> 00:15:44,483
There's a man by the bar
asking for you.
357
00:15:44,550 --> 00:15:46,084
What? Why?
358
00:15:46,151 --> 00:15:48,019
No, not you.
359
00:15:48,086 --> 00:15:50,021
You.
360
00:15:51,857 --> 00:15:53,825
Go get it, girl.
361
00:15:56,428 --> 00:15:58,430
Ah, the coffee van man.
362
00:15:58,497 --> 00:15:59,765
Yeah.
363
00:15:59,832 --> 00:16:01,433
You came.
364
00:16:01,500 --> 00:16:03,903
Yeah.
365
00:16:03,969 --> 00:16:05,470
And you brought a--
366
00:16:05,537 --> 00:16:09,575
Oh, this is
my old friend, Euan.
367
00:16:09,642 --> 00:16:12,577
Great.
And he's here because?
368
00:16:12,644 --> 00:16:16,948
Eh, I--I--I got the stuff
from him.
369
00:16:17,015 --> 00:16:18,717
Um, yes.
370
00:16:18,784 --> 00:16:21,186
And then--and then, um, I said
I was going to Rothesay,
371
00:16:21,252 --> 00:16:23,321
and he says,
"I've never been to Rothesay."
372
00:16:23,388 --> 00:16:26,959
So--so now Euan's here as well.
373
00:16:27,026 --> 00:16:28,327
Cool.
374
00:16:28,393 --> 00:16:30,062
Are you gonna
introduce us, Nina?
375
00:16:30,128 --> 00:16:31,496
Yep.
376
00:16:31,563 --> 00:16:32,764
Erm, this is Lee.
377
00:16:32,831 --> 00:16:34,200
Hi.
378
00:16:34,266 --> 00:16:36,735
This is his good friend, Euan,
379
00:16:36,801 --> 00:16:39,104
who's also with us today.
380
00:16:39,170 --> 00:16:40,739
This is my mother, Diane.
381
00:16:40,806 --> 00:16:42,507
We've met.
382
00:16:42,574 --> 00:16:44,710
And this is my sister, Evie.
383
00:16:44,777 --> 00:16:46,578
Hello, boy.
384
00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:50,616
And this is my--
well, this is just Amber.
385
00:16:50,682 --> 00:16:52,217
She's not my anything.
386
00:16:54,420 --> 00:16:56,121
These are the drug dealers?
387
00:16:57,222 --> 00:16:58,890
-Yes?
- Cool.
388
00:16:58,957 --> 00:17:01,359
It's just, they look a bit
like massive nerds.
389
00:17:01,426 --> 00:17:02,961
Yeah, well, try and keep
an open mind, Amber.
390
00:17:03,028 --> 00:17:05,164
Sometimes people don't
look like their jobs, yeah?
391
00:17:05,231 --> 00:17:07,465
Wow.
Boys in a hen do.
392
00:17:07,532 --> 00:17:10,368
What will they think of next?
393
00:17:10,435 --> 00:17:12,705
No one goes on all-girl
hen dos anymore, Diane.
394
00:17:12,772 --> 00:17:14,240
It's passé.
395
00:17:14,306 --> 00:17:17,243
Wait, this is a hen do?
396
00:17:17,309 --> 00:17:21,147
Aren't there meant to be,
like, more girls?
397
00:17:21,213 --> 00:17:22,715
This is all we need.
398
00:17:22,781 --> 00:17:24,183
-Yeah.
- Yeah.
399
00:17:24,249 --> 00:17:27,519
Yeah. This is all we need!
400
00:17:31,089 --> 00:17:33,291
Right.
Who's getting the next round?
401
00:17:38,263 --> 00:17:39,497
- Jaegerbomb, please.
- Oh.
402
00:17:39,564 --> 00:17:42,067
- Gin and tonic, please.
- Right.
403
00:17:42,133 --> 00:17:43,802
Can I get a glass
of tepid water?
404
00:17:43,869 --> 00:17:47,105
Tepid, not warm.
405
00:17:47,172 --> 00:17:48,707
Cool.
406
00:17:56,648 --> 00:17:59,518
-Have you got that--
- Yeah, yeah.
407
00:18:00,452 --> 00:18:02,354
Let's get this party started!
408
00:18:02,421 --> 00:18:04,456
Oblivion, here we come--
409
00:18:04,523 --> 00:18:07,826
Is that it?
410
00:18:07,893 --> 00:18:09,828
Apparently.
411
00:18:09,895 --> 00:18:12,565
Do we cut it up, Euan?
412
00:18:12,631 --> 00:18:14,299
No.
413
00:18:14,366 --> 00:18:17,702
I say
we should smoke this joint
414
00:18:17,769 --> 00:18:20,972
right here, right now
in this pub.
415
00:18:21,039 --> 00:18:24,310
Because we are young
and we are alive.
416
00:18:24,377 --> 00:18:25,878
Or do you know
what we could do?
417
00:18:25,944 --> 00:18:28,180
We could--
oh, what if we went outside?
418
00:18:28,247 --> 00:18:29,448
What?
Yeah.
419
00:18:29,515 --> 00:18:31,149
-Yeah?
-Love that.
420
00:18:31,216 --> 00:18:35,420
Yeah. Ten points.
421
00:18:35,487 --> 00:18:37,689
Oh, no.
Nina, Nina, you stay with Mum.
422
00:18:37,756 --> 00:18:40,559
- Oh, but I want to--
- Mum needs you.
423
00:18:45,430 --> 00:18:47,199
Oh, where did everyone go?
424
00:18:47,266 --> 00:18:48,334
To smoke a big joint.
425
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:50,335
Oh, very good.
426
00:19:00,079 --> 00:19:01,847
Nina, if you're
feeling anxious--
427
00:19:01,914 --> 00:19:03,982
Mum, let it go.
428
00:19:04,049 --> 00:19:05,484
You're so focused on me,
429
00:19:05,551 --> 00:19:07,119
you haven't even noticed
that your other daughter is
430
00:19:07,186 --> 00:19:08,753
falling about
all over the place.
431
00:19:08,820 --> 00:19:10,155
You know Evie's
on the other side of that wall
432
00:19:10,222 --> 00:19:11,690
right now smoking drugs.
433
00:19:11,757 --> 00:19:13,258
- Without me.
- Aww.
434
00:19:13,325 --> 00:19:16,628
I'm glad
she's letting off steam.
435
00:19:16,695 --> 00:19:19,298
I know
what's going on here, Nina.
436
00:19:19,365 --> 00:19:20,833
If you're gonna have
a meltdown,
437
00:19:20,900 --> 00:19:22,802
I think it might be better
if we just go outside.
438
00:19:22,868 --> 00:19:25,103
I'm not having a meltdown.
This is not a meltdown.
439
00:19:25,170 --> 00:19:26,571
I'm--I'm merely annoyed.
440
00:19:26,638 --> 00:19:28,908
Mum, I know
you're trying to help,
441
00:19:28,974 --> 00:19:34,279
but the world is a bad
and horrible and stupid place,
442
00:19:34,346 --> 00:19:38,050
and... you cannae fix it.
443
00:19:38,117 --> 00:19:42,221
You can teach me every
coping mechanism under the sun,
444
00:19:42,288 --> 00:19:44,657
but if you can't cope
with me coping,
445
00:19:44,723 --> 00:19:47,359
then it's not gonna work.
446
00:19:47,425 --> 00:19:50,195
I'm so sorry, Wheat Puff.
447
00:19:50,262 --> 00:19:54,066
I thought
becoming a psychotherapist
448
00:19:54,133 --> 00:19:57,736
would help me
to understand you.
449
00:19:57,803 --> 00:19:59,939
You became a psychotherapist
because of me?
450
00:20:00,005 --> 00:20:01,607
Yes.
451
00:20:01,674 --> 00:20:02,741
Fuck.
452
00:20:02,807 --> 00:20:05,844
I know.
453
00:20:05,911 --> 00:20:07,846
What do you want me to do?
454
00:20:07,912 --> 00:20:09,949
Treat me like a grown-up.
455
00:20:10,015 --> 00:20:11,516
OK.
456
00:20:11,583 --> 00:20:13,085
How do I do that?
457
00:20:13,152 --> 00:20:14,720
I don't know.
458
00:20:14,786 --> 00:20:18,290
Oh, it's tricky, isn't it?
459
00:20:24,530 --> 00:20:26,932
♪ ♪
460
00:20:26,999 --> 00:20:29,034
Glorious.
461
00:20:29,101 --> 00:20:32,204
Go on.
462
00:20:32,271 --> 00:20:33,271
No. No.
463
00:20:36,108 --> 00:20:39,177
♪ I'm under pressure ♪
464
00:20:39,244 --> 00:20:42,114
♪ Where is my face at? ♪
465
00:20:42,180 --> 00:20:44,716
♪ I'm under pressure ♪
466
00:20:46,151 --> 00:20:47,653
Your friend seems
to have cheered up.
467
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:49,187
Yeah.
468
00:20:49,254 --> 00:20:51,023
There must be something
in the tepid water.
469
00:20:51,090 --> 00:20:52,458
Did he eat
the rest of the drugs?
470
00:20:52,524 --> 00:20:55,261
Look, Nina,
I'm gonna level with you.
471
00:20:55,327 --> 00:20:56,695
I don't really know the guy.
472
00:20:56,762 --> 00:20:58,764
Like, he used to deal
back at uni,
473
00:20:58,830 --> 00:21:00,365
but when I said
I was going to Rothesay,
474
00:21:00,432 --> 00:21:01,967
he just kind of
invited himself along.
475
00:21:02,034 --> 00:21:03,635
And when we were on the ferry,
476
00:21:03,702 --> 00:21:05,371
he started talking about
477
00:21:05,437 --> 00:21:08,206
how he doesn't really believe
in gravity.
478
00:21:08,273 --> 00:21:09,775
What?
Yeah.
479
00:21:09,841 --> 00:21:12,477
That's kind of the level of guy
we're dealing with here.
480
00:21:12,544 --> 00:21:14,146
But, um--but it looks like
he's having fun,
481
00:21:14,213 --> 00:21:16,348
and it's worked out
all right, yeah?
482
00:21:16,414 --> 00:21:18,684
He's dancing with my mum.
483
00:21:18,751 --> 00:21:20,086
I know. I know.
484
00:21:20,152 --> 00:21:21,720
I'm so sorry.
485
00:21:21,787 --> 00:21:24,023
I'm so sorry.
486
00:21:25,223 --> 00:21:26,891
Word on the street is,
487
00:21:26,958 --> 00:21:32,030
you can bring in your own chips
before 11:00.
488
00:21:32,097 --> 00:21:34,399
Cool.
489
00:21:36,435 --> 00:21:38,437
Do you want to go get
some chips with me, Nina?
490
00:21:38,504 --> 00:21:41,540
All right.
491
00:21:41,607 --> 00:21:47,212
♪ ♪
492
00:21:47,279 --> 00:21:49,347
Nina, you--
493
00:21:54,686 --> 00:21:57,422
Is this a second date?
494
00:21:57,489 --> 00:22:01,293
Uh, I mean--well, let's see.
495
00:22:01,359 --> 00:22:04,029
- We have a pub.
- Mm-hmm.
496
00:22:04,095 --> 00:22:05,163
- Beer.
- Mm.
497
00:22:05,230 --> 00:22:07,299
A nice girl,
498
00:22:07,366 --> 00:22:10,836
a depressed drug dealer,
499
00:22:10,903 --> 00:22:12,605
and your mum.
500
00:22:12,671 --> 00:22:15,807
Classic second date.
501
00:22:15,874 --> 00:22:17,676
I'm sorry my mum's here.
502
00:22:17,743 --> 00:22:21,747
Oh, no.
Your mum's cool.
503
00:22:21,814 --> 00:22:25,618
I wish my mum cared that much.
504
00:22:25,685 --> 00:22:27,018
I'm sorry.
505
00:22:27,085 --> 00:22:28,987
Oh, don't be. No.
506
00:22:29,054 --> 00:22:31,222
I moved away from home
a long time ago.
507
00:22:31,289 --> 00:22:33,459
And now I sell coffee out a van
508
00:22:33,526 --> 00:22:35,594
and live opposite the best
chippie in Clover Street.
509
00:22:35,661 --> 00:22:38,497
So who's laughing now?
510
00:22:38,563 --> 00:22:40,332
You.
511
00:22:40,399 --> 00:22:41,634
Yeah.
512
00:22:41,700 --> 00:22:44,136
Yeah.
513
00:22:44,203 --> 00:22:47,540
Leslie was never
big enough for me anyway.
514
00:22:47,606 --> 00:22:49,241
Who's Leslie?
515
00:22:49,308 --> 00:22:51,477
Oh, that--
that's where I'm from.
516
00:22:53,179 --> 00:22:54,646
Lee from Leslie.
517
00:22:54,713 --> 00:22:56,715
- That's me.
- Mm-hmm.
518
00:22:59,184 --> 00:23:02,287
So if you could go
anywhere in the world,
519
00:23:02,354 --> 00:23:04,756
where would you go?
520
00:23:04,823 --> 00:23:06,358
Glasgow.
521
00:23:06,425 --> 00:23:08,093
Anywhere in the world.
522
00:23:08,159 --> 00:23:10,028
Glasgow.
523
00:23:10,095 --> 00:23:11,196
OK.
524
00:23:11,263 --> 00:23:14,299
Anywhere except Glasgow.
525
00:23:14,366 --> 00:23:16,201
The Isle of Wight.
526
00:23:16,268 --> 00:23:18,670
Wow. Why?
527
00:23:18,737 --> 00:23:20,839
There's this lady called
Dr. Catherine Dunne,
528
00:23:20,906 --> 00:23:24,343
and, erm, she's discovered
these armored dinosaurs
529
00:23:24,409 --> 00:23:27,479
that are probably, like,
145 million years old.
530
00:23:27,546 --> 00:23:29,114
- What?
- And they're gonna change
531
00:23:29,181 --> 00:23:31,350
the landscape
of British dinosaur discourse.
532
00:23:31,417 --> 00:23:34,419
And she posted this thing for--
sorry, I'm talking too much.
533
00:23:34,486 --> 00:23:37,423
No. Erm, keep going.
Keep going.
534
00:23:37,489 --> 00:23:40,359
She posted this thing
looking for people
535
00:23:40,426 --> 00:23:42,561
to go to the Isle of Wight
and work with her,
536
00:23:42,628 --> 00:23:45,831
and I applied.
537
00:23:45,898 --> 00:23:47,499
Right.
538
00:23:52,671 --> 00:23:57,876
So if you, erm--if you got it,
would you go?
539
00:23:57,943 --> 00:23:59,345
Yeah.
540
00:23:59,411 --> 00:24:00,712
No.
541
00:24:00,779 --> 00:24:02,514
I don't know.
542
00:24:02,581 --> 00:24:03,682
Choices are hard.
543
00:24:03,749 --> 00:24:05,451
Yeah.
544
00:24:05,518 --> 00:24:09,355
I mean, there's a lot
to stay in Glasgow for.
545
00:24:09,421 --> 00:24:12,424
Well, my parents and my job
546
00:24:12,491 --> 00:24:14,760
and all of my pens
are in Glasgow.
547
00:24:14,826 --> 00:24:16,061
- Yeah.
- And my sister.
548
00:24:16,128 --> 00:24:17,696
And my sister's wedding.
549
00:24:17,763 --> 00:24:21,299
And the wedding's coming up,
and I'm the maid of honor.
550
00:24:21,366 --> 00:24:23,268
And it's gonna be a whole day
of everybody pretending.
551
00:24:23,335 --> 00:24:24,636
And--and I don't know
what to do with my face
552
00:24:24,703 --> 00:24:26,472
'cause I never know
what to do with my face.
553
00:24:26,538 --> 00:24:28,474
And my mum keeps saying, "Nina,
Nina, you have to tell me.
554
00:24:28,540 --> 00:24:30,309
"Are you bringing a plus-one,
because I need to know
555
00:24:30,376 --> 00:24:31,476
for the seating arrangements."
556
00:24:31,543 --> 00:24:33,578
I don't know.
557
00:24:35,781 --> 00:24:36,815
Do you want to be my plus-one?
558
00:24:36,882 --> 00:24:38,650
Yeah.
559
00:24:38,717 --> 00:24:40,719
Yeah, I'll be
your plus-one, Nina.
560
00:24:42,187 --> 00:24:43,855
Send me the details.
561
00:24:43,922 --> 00:24:44,857
I will.
562
00:24:44,924 --> 00:24:45,857
Don't forget.
563
00:24:45,924 --> 00:24:48,093
Shan't.
564
00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:51,196
Oh, you--you've got a little--
565
00:24:51,262 --> 00:24:53,766
do you want--
can I just touch your face?
566
00:24:53,832 --> 00:24:55,267
Mm-hmm.
567
00:24:55,334 --> 00:25:02,507
♪ ♪
568
00:25:12,818 --> 00:25:17,523
♪ ♪
569
00:25:17,590 --> 00:25:21,126
Evie!
570
00:25:21,193 --> 00:25:23,128
Oh, shit.
571
00:25:23,195 --> 00:25:30,402
♪ ♪
572
00:25:41,747 --> 00:25:43,182
What is pegging?
573
00:25:53,625 --> 00:26:00,632
♪ ♪
574
00:26:03,302 --> 00:26:05,938
♪ So far, so good ♪
575
00:26:06,005 --> 00:26:07,239
♪ You see ♪
576
00:26:07,306 --> 00:26:08,873
♪ It's fine, it's fine ♪
577
00:26:08,940 --> 00:26:11,109
♪ The signs that ♪
578
00:26:11,176 --> 00:26:15,547
♪ I am floating 'round here ♪
579
00:26:15,614 --> 00:26:17,649
♪ It's fine,
it's fine, it's fine ♪
580
00:26:17,699 --> 00:26:22,249
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