Original subtitles

I warn you, brigand.

If you harm one hair on this lady's head... - Key.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

That's what they all say.

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Twenty-four. (CLICKS TONGUE)

Deserves to be drowned.

(GASPING)

You mean this key?

I expected more from a man of your reputation.

(LAUGHS)

I don't suppose you have any idea where I can find Athos and Aramis.

(LAUGHS)

Never heard of them.

(LAUGHS) Of course not.

Well, a man in my profession has to learn all sorts of unpleasant things.

For instance, the twist of a blade can make a big difference

between a quick and painless death or a slow and excruciating agony.

In five seconds, I can make you beg to tell me everything I ever wanted to know.

(BURPS)

But why bother?

Your comrades are probably on the way to rescue you anyway.

And I'll be here with my men waiting to spring the mousetrap.

(STAMMERING) Ah, speaking of cheese,

who have I got to screw to get a decent meal around here?

Well, certainly not me.

(SCOFFS)

You French spies, you are very, very...

Sexy?

(BOTH LAUGH)

You are not sexy. No.

It's a wonder it took me so long to catch you.

You didn't!

I beg your pardon?

You didn't catch me.

And what exactly are you doing here if I may ask?

Catching you.

Late as usual.

What was her name?

- She didn't say, and I didn't ask. -(LAUGHS)

It was a beautiful moment between two strangers.

I don't see the vault.

One of a kind.

Unbreakable according to the man who built it.

Check.

Damn!

(SCOFFS) This is a ridiculous game.

Surely the King should be the most powerful piece?

The King is the most important piece.

But he's vulnerable, he needs protection.

May I suggest you castle him?

You advise the King to scuttle for safety.

For the time being.

The better to sally forth in glory later on. Otherwise...

Otherwise?

Checkmate.

There. What do you think of that?

Your Majesty is a force of nature.

- Took you by surprise, eh? - Yes, indeed, you did.

May we speak a little about foreign policy?

- It's not about Buckingham, is it? - I'm afraid it is.

He's arriving in Paris tomorrow.

His master, King James, has agreed to hear our peace proposal.

Good, good. Well, he knows better than to mess with me, then.

Unfortunately, your presence will be required.

(GROANS)

Merely to welcome the visitor. Leave the diplomacy part to me.

Your Majesty's far too busy to be concerned with such tedious or trifling details.

Word of advice.

I'd keep an eye on that Buckingham. Tricky fellow.

I just have a nose for these things, you know.

Your Majesty's wisdom continues to astound me.

There's also another matter.

Or there'll be none of them left.

(PEOPLE CHUCKLING)

What do you think of that?

Your Majesty, might I suggest a more...

Forgive my impudence, Cardinal,

but I doubt the King requires your advice in this matter.

After all, they are his Musketeers.

Might I also remind you that you have not yet sent me those papers I asked for.

Your Majesty would hardly want to burden herself.

On the contrary, I take a very keen interest

in everything that is done in my name as well as my husband's.

- As Your Majesty pleases. - She does.

Good day, gentlemen.

Of course, being a servant of God, you have no need for such crude devices.

I'll be sure to say a prayer for Your Lordship's continued health.

Please do.

I would hate for something unfortunate to happen during my visit.

After all, were I, say, to be struck by lightning during my time in Paris,

well, England would have a martyr, France would be vilified,

and the Cardinal would have to re-examine the power of his prayer.

(LAUGHS)

ANNE: And we wouldn't want that.

Your Majesty.

I must say your beauty is far more radiant than I remember.

You've met before?

A long time ago.

An evening I shall cherish forever.

Is there anyone he doesn't know?

RICHELIEU: An extraordinary man.

BUCKINGHAM: You were quite impressive.

Impressive at cribbage.

Perhaps we can play a hand or two during my stay.

I'm afraid I'm not much for games anymore.

Shame. You don't know what you're missing.

Your Lordship shall just have to play by himself.

I recommend solitaire.

Right. Well, shall we?

So, tell me. Why did you invite me to Paris? - To discuss peace, naturally.

(SPEAKING LATIN)

(SPEAKING LATIN)

Personally, I find Machiavelli overrated.

- Whose advantage? Yours? - Ours.

We serve men who can barely tie their own shoes,

let alone govern nations.

Bringing them peace, or the illusion of one, only strengthens our positions.

Besides, last I checked,

you and your master were already engaged in a conflict with Spain.

My condolences about Cardiff.

A temporary setback.

I have a feeling my new war machines will readdress the balance.

Very impressive.

ANNE: He wants to have a celebration ball, five days from now.

The boar hunt must have gone well.

You wonder what I see in him, don't you?

Your Majesty, it's hardly my place.

It's simple. You see the boy there is,

and I see the man there could be.

Your Majesty sees a lot.

It comes with the job.

- Of being queen? - No.

Of being a woman.

Send my diamonds to the jeweler's to be polished.

It's all very well they get their hero moment.

But I'll tell you, someone's gotta carry their luggage,

or I'll be getting all that, yup, yup, yup,

yup, "Where's my underwear? Where's my belt?"

I'm gonna start a union.

Athos is coming.

I presumed as much.

Tell me.

What do you suppose he's after?

Your vault.

Some top secret document, no doubt.

The list of your deep cover agents in France, defense plans,

-dirt on members of the royal family. - Of course.

Either way, that's hardly the reason. Merely an excuse.

He wants revenge for Venice.

He wants me.

And he wants you.

Well, then, we shall have to be ready for him.

Won't we?

What are you two doing lying around? Come on. Let's finish this.

You should see him driving.

(consume)

Whoa!

You thought that was gonna be easy, didn't you?

That I was a weakling, a coward. That you would slay me with a single strike.

Why fight your own battles when you can have others do it for you?

Besides, I haven't found anyone much of a challenge these days.

You're rather amusing, though.

You're gonna talk me to death.

That's my man.

You should've stayed in Gascony.

D'Artagnan!

You should've apologized to my horse.

That was an incredible shot.

Not really. I was aiming for his head.