Original subtitles

[clock ticking]

[Andy] Hmm.

I wouldn't even worry about Karl taking so long.

I'm sure it has nothing to do

with the deliberation of your case.

He probably has a bathroom problem.

If his stomach's anything like mine is, he definitely does.

[laughs]

Ooh, boy.

Yeah.

I have a gluten issue.

Hey, um, you're not mad at me for reporting you, right?

Because I would hate that.

I really was just worried about you,

you know, as a friend.

[menacing music playing]

Sorry for the holdup, folks.

I had a severe bathroom problem.

So, after extensively reviewing your file

and going over the evidence that you submitted,

management has decided to remove you

from case 6689, effective immediately.

Andy, that case goes to you.

[Andy] Oh. Wow.

I mean, yeah, if I can be of help.

What? Are you serious?

What about Schneider's involvement?

In the meantime, I have recommended

that you undergo a full psych eval,

followed by a mandatory leave of absence,

after which you are welcome to reapply for the Elite Squad...

after you have closed another 100,000 cases

for the juvenile department.

And that's like normally, without freaking out

and screwing it all up for everybody again.

[intense music playing]

[door slides open]

- I thought it went really well. - I thought so, too.

[clock ticking]

[seagulls squawking]

So, ready to go back to our boring, regular school

and the epic mess we left behind.

That's assuming we don't immediately get separated first.

Maybe they'll see how wise and worldly we've become.

And forgive us immediately for ruining the dance.

Maybe.

Hypothetically, if there was--

Ow!

- Yeah. - All right.

Now, all three of us

should be able to go through the portal together.

Now, a reminder, 6689 has been in stasis

for a dangerously long time,

so its structural integrity is quite fragile.

Unfreezing it could cause any number of anomalies

which would lead MOM directly to us.

All right, how about we just take our time?

[Jonesie] That's a great idea.

Maybe we just chill here for a while, right?

Cracking wise, eating fish, and not each other.

- [laughs] - What aren't you telling me?

- [fire alarm rings] - [all scream]

- [Mr. Schneider] Yeah, let's go. - Hey. Hey, you.

You haven't even told us the story

of how you ended up here on bone zone island.

[Davey] Oh, it's got to be a wild story

with tons of twists and turns and length.

[taking deep breath]

You went through the locker and everything froze except for me,

because I'm not technically of that world.

I went to the lab to retrieve my holo pen,

contact the other Schneiders, but a DAD showed up.

I was almost captured, but rewired the device

and beam myself out using an old MOM tech trick.

[panting]

I picked this universe to hide out in,

'cause I knew from the holo-chatter

that everyone here was already dead.

After I'd taken a moment to mourn the loss of my portal,

years of work and any hope of re-syncing, I got to work.

I rewired my device so that when you finally showed up,

I'd be able to send us back through the locker,

which is the only way to override the stasis protocol

and restart 6689 manually without alerting MOM.

And then that-- What's that? Yes.

[laughs] Yes!

Then all I had to do was reverse-engineer

the DNA coding of the locker, put up a beacon,

and hope you would eventually show up, which you did. Following?

- Never followed a word you said. - You're making up science.

It doesn't matter.

It's now time for me,

Stephen Simon Schneider,

to go through my port--

Hey, you know that DAD that you mentioned back in 6689.

- Who was that? - I don't know.

They were wearing tactical gear.

Just like a black helmet? Terrifying walking style?

- Yes. - Cheryl.

- Cheryl Mason? - Yeah. She's obsessed with us.

- From hate. - [Dr. Schneider] What about me?

Does she know the other Schneiders are involved

- in your whole whatever? - Yes.

Okay. Okay.

We have to go now. We have to go now.

Wait, aren't you going to tell us about the two of you?

Pass.

Let's just go home, shall we?

[suspenseful music playing]

[machinery humming]

[sighs]

♪ I sit and watch... ♪

Seal door, override Code Mason 9716.

- ♪ Right, right ♪ - ♪ Right, right ♪

- ♪ Right ♪ - ♪ Right ♪

♪ I'm smiling through my teeth and my laugh ♪

♪ And I judge ♪

♪ I wonder why ♪

♪ This isn't a grudge ♪

♪ Grudge, grudge ♪

♪ Grudge ♪

♪ Grudge ♪

♪ I sit and watch ♪

♪ A flickering screen... ♪

♪ Grudge, grudge ♪

[sighs] It's beautiful.

- Move it, newbie. - Don't puke.

[Davey laughs]

I think I know how to go through my own portal, thank you.

Whoa!

[Mr. Schneider screaming]

No more games, Davey and Jonesie.

♪ I sit and watch A flickering screen ♪

♪ And let lights fill my eyes ♪

[moans and coughs]

Yup, first time will do that to you.

Then you get used to it.

- [chuckles] - Oh, wow.

Old faithful.

Did all the other Schneiders find you this annoying?

- No. They loved us. - Everybody does.

[Jonesie] What was that thing that we optimistically said

about everyone not being as mad as we remember?

[synthetic pop music playing]

Good Lord.

Does this look normal to you?

Because I am performing a manual override here.

Every detail needs to be exactly

as it was the night of the dance,

the very moment before you went through,

Even the smallest change your clothes, your hair,

it can make all the difference.

- [both] The mascot heads! - Yup.

[dramatic thuds, whoosh]

Where are they?

Did we bring them into the portal with us?

'Cause they're not in our locker.

Who cares? I mean, he's here. We're here.

And the conditions are the same, so...

Plus, this way we can unfreeze our world

without facing any of the horrendous consequences

of our actions.

Okay, I know it sounds morally dubious and wrong when I say it,

but I actually think that if I said it in a higher tone--

- Dude, I'm already onboard. - Okay.

Okay, we're ready.

What were you two whispering about?

Teen time!

Just changing bodies of young people,

and how we want to unfreeze our friends

and hang out with them.

Okay, shall we? Let's go. Come on.

- You ready? - Mm-hmm.

Let's do this.

[whirring]

[all shouting]

- [Sierra] You ruined the dance! - You ruined my suit!

This is the last straw, girls.

That mascot head stunt was beyond the pale.

Oh, I'm so sorry. What mascots heads?

Clearly the ones you just put in that locker.

[Davey] There's no mascot heads we could--

- [scoffs] Hello! - I mean, look for yourself.

- [roars] - [all scream]

[creature snarls, hisses]

Um, okay.

[laughs nervously]

[panicked chatter]

Who's that?

[screaming]

How is that me, and why am I Mark?

[screaming]

What is happening?

Come back here, punk!

- [car horn blurting] - I don't know!

I don't know, children. I don't know!

[all shouting]

Hey, who's that?

[roaring]

[all scream]

[clown horn honking]

[computer] Anomaly detected.

Anomaly detected. Anomaly detected.

Anomaly detected.

Hey, Cheryl, you're not being yourself right now.

Open the door.

Anomaly detected.

- Anomaly detected... - Cheryl!

Anomaly detected. Anomaly...

[panicked screaming]

[hissing]

- [squawking] - [sobs]

[Jonesie] Seriously, what is going on?

[Mr. Schneider] I don't know, But I think what's happening

is that elements from other universes

are bleeding into this one.

Hello, girls.

Recognize this detainer, Stephen?

Quite the powerful modification, isn't it?

Don't worry, girls.

I'm not going to send you to detention.

I've got somewhere much more permanent in mind.

Careful with that thing, Cheryl. It hasn't been properly tested!

That didn't seem to bother you the last time.

[imitating wolf howl]

[screaming]

[sighs]

[shrieking]

[Davey] But you once said that the matter

in each universe is finite.

That's why the other Davey and Jonesies disappear

once we show up.

I also said the structural integrity

of this world was compromised due to prolonged stasis,

which is why we try to unfreeze it with matter missing,

like two large mascot heads you failed to mention.

It totally disrupts the basic physics,

and it allows anomalies to bleed through.

Does it ever feel like the science rules are just like,

constantly shifting for convenience?

Ah, there's too much multiversal interference

to contact the other Schneiders.

Are you absolutely sure you have no idea what happened

to the heads when you first went through?

Oh, I'm sorry.

We were just too busy

getting sucked into the portal

that you put in our locker!

Should have known your unformed teenage brains

would be far too worried about the irrelevant consequences

of your petty little lives

rather than the actual consequences

of an interdimensional incident.

- Okay. [scoffs] - [Davey] Okay. Yeah.

Those consequences are not irrelevant to us,

because unlike you, we actually have friends that we care about.

Oh, really?

The same friends you humiliated

at the dance, then lied to about it,

putting their universe in jeopardy?

- [girl shrieks] - [wolf snarls]

Well...

you are one to talk about putting people, places,

and things in jeopardy

in order to avoid facing personal consequences.

[Davey] Yeah, like what is that weird detainer thing

that Cheryl's using to zap things out of existence?

It's not technically out of existence.

It's just an experimental dimension

beyond all known space-time from which no one has ever returned.

- Dude, what? - What?

Okay, fine.

You want to know about Cheryl and me?

We ask you every time we see you.

We were not just colleagues at MOM.

Okay.

We were friends.

Best friends, actually.

- That's the big reveal? - Oh, my God...

We were waiting all season for this.

- Why would you sit on that? - Oh, my-- I honestly...

- [Jonesie] I wish I didn't know. - Okay.

We met at the Academy.

And neither of us were really fitting in.

Because of your terrible personalities?

Yes. But then when we met each other, it was just like...

It was like it was you two against the world

and you could do anything as long as you did it together.

We wanted to shake things up, you know?

That detainer Cheryl had...

I built that.

It's part of my research...

into Dimension X.

It would have changed everything.

But MOM was too shortsighted to see it.

And so was Cheryl in the end.

Cheryl.

Cheryl, no.

She sold me out.

Turned me in.

You can't do this to me.

And that's why I was de-synced.

Don't do this! Cheryl!

How could you do this to me?

And that [clears throat] is the whole, uh...

That's the whole story.

Yeah, there's no way that was the whole story.

All right, I have temporarily reversed

the polarity of the portal, okay?

So when you press this button,

it will suck out all the anomalies like an airplane door,

but it'll only last for a few seconds,

so you have to herd everything to the locker first, okay?

In the meantime, I'll deal with Cheryl.

Okay.

How are we supposed to do this ourselves?

Hey, I thought you were the ones with friends.

[panicked screaming continues]

[crowd, chanting] Kill the witch! Kill the witch!

Kill the witch!

Look, it-- it's me you want. Just let them go.

I do kind of want them.

- Yeah, that's fair. - Run!

Go, go, go, go, go!

Go, go, go, go, go, go!

Go find your friends and round up the anomalies.

[Jonesie] Gotta find everyone.

[panicked screaming continues]

[Andy] Override code: 9214.

[computer] Anomaly detected. Anomaly detected.

Anomaly detected. Anomaly detected.

Anomaly detected.

[Andy] 6689?

That should still be in stasis.

[Davey] Where was I? Right.

The portal, anomalies,

narrow escapes, a million different universes,

yadda-yadda-ya.

And that's what brings us to today.

Make sense?

I knew it was you two in those mascot heads.

[laughs] You are so dead.

Wow, you're really focusing

on the wrong part of the story here, okay?

But yeah, if that helps, it was us.

That was, um... it was our bad, so...

[Davey] Yes.

Look, we really screwed up.

We shouldn't have ruined the dance.

And we shouldn't have called you all sheep.

Wait, that's what your weird performance was about?

Yeah, like, why were you dressed like a chicken and a horse?

Yeah, even I thought that was weird.

Okay, you clearly didn't get it.

The point is, you are not sheep.

You are our friends, and we're really sorry, okay?

And we really need your help.

Okay, but how are we supposed to herd

a bunch of... anomalies,

or whatever they're called, to your locker?

That's the thing, is that we learned so much about you guys

through the multiverse.

- Yeah. You guys are badass. - Yeah.

Like, Emile, we met a version of you

that was the general of an army...

of sociopathic lobsters, but it was still cool.

And, like, Joyce, you were this, like, rebel leader.

And even Sierra?

You were a grizzled fighter.

And it was sick.

[Davey] And, Alexis, you were consistently cool

in every single universe.

And, Abbott, you were... [exhales]

You were strong, physically,

in a bunch of different ways that were...

Often the same and pretty much just one note.

Yes.

What about me?

[cackling]

[screams]

[scream echoes]

Mark, you were there, too!

And, you guys, every time we worked together, we nailed it.

Mostly. So, what do you say?

Will you help us herd all of the anomalies back into our locker?

You know what?

[intense music swells, fades]

I'm into the weird. It's very on brand.

Count me in.

I am also in, too.

- Let's do it. - I'm in, too.

I'll come along for the ride.

[clears throat]

Looks like my schedule's clear.

[laughter and cheering]

So, uh, what's the plan?

- I don't know. What's the plan? - What are we thinking?

Let's scheme.

There's no plan?

Oh, my God. You're kidding me.

We are obviously not the planning types.

Yeah, I mean, that's why we needed someone to rely on

who is really good at planning.

Okay, we'll move through the school in teams.

Abbott, Mark, you take the east corridor.

Alexis and I will sweep the southern hallways.

And Emile and Joyce, you take the west wing.

All in on three.

[all] One, two...

Joyce!

Yup. And you know what? It looks like we've started.

So let's get a move on, people!

We've got some anomalies to get!

[all shouting]

[rock music playing]

[overlapped shouting]

[Sierra] Hey! Hi, everyone!

I'm going to need you all to hustle out of here, okay?

My clipboard! Stop!

All right, go to the lockers. Charge!

Go! Go!

Hey, Lunch Lady Rhonda.

I am so sorry about this, Principal Neighbors.

[snarling]

This is really weird for me, too.

We just gotta get you back in the locker.

Yeah, Abbott, you got this!

Everyone, be chill.

Oh, my gosh, that vest.

That is an exact replica of the vest I got in Majorca.

Ugh!

A bag of wet hair?

There are 14 lighthouses. I visited all 14 of them.

[Sierra] Oh, my God, just go!

[wolf snarling]

[creature snarling and clicking]

Oh.

Not today, enormous giant spider.

[snarling and clicking]

Or my name isn't Mark Red Shirt!

[laughs]

[yells]

Oh, you okay, buddy?

[panicked shouting]

[rock music playing]

[grunts]

Okay, that works.

- [snaps fingers] - Y'all ready?

[overlapped chatter]

[Emile] Let's get y'all back in the locker! Yeehaw!

[Julius] Just rolling through, girls.

- [Julius laughs] - Yikes.

How'd he get so big?

I think he may have eaten a lot of people after we left.

Oh.

Come on, Cheryl, can we talk about this, please?

Oh!

Sure.

Why don't we start with how you sold me out and ruined my life?

I... that-that's funny. That's...

That's not exactly how I remember it.

See, what I remember is, we were friends.

And then I made the Elite Squad,

but you didn't make the Higher Science team.

And then you modified my detainer without my consent,

causing me to send a wanted rogue asset to Dimension X.

Again with the Amelia Earhart thing?

Yes, again with the Amelia Earhart thing!

You tampered with my detainer.

Stephen, what did you do?

I caught up with her and she burst into particles.

It works! Yes!

- What works, Stephen? - Dimension X. Like we said!

- What? - We talked about that.

No, we didn't!

Why are you upset?

You used me

for your own precious research!

[Mr. Schneider] Don't say that.

It was her. She's gone rogue!

No, no, don't! No, no, no, no!

Ask her where Amelia Earhart is!

Check her detainer right now!

You lied to me.

Don't you--

Okay, I shouldn't have.

I shouldn't have done that.

But I was not using you. I-I-I just...

I wanted you to-to-to--

- What? - I wanted you to notice me!

- What? - After you made the Elite Squad,

I never saw you again.

Oh, you finally fit in somewhere.

Meanwhile, I'm back to being that crackpot Schneider,

too unstable for Higher Science.

Nothing I haven't heard my whole life.

And you-you-you just... You ditched me.

It wasn't like that.

And I didn't ditch you.

And you were struggling with that case,

and she kept escaping, and...

and I thought if I could just make it work,

if I could just help you,

then we could, you know, do what we always talked about.

Take MOM by storm.

Run it together.

We still could have done all that, Stephen.

If only you hadn't been so--

So what?

[dramatic music playing]

Say it!

You're crazy!

Crazy.

I am not crazy!

I know.

But you just betrayed me.

I only betrayed you because you betrayed me first.

No, I didn't.

I didn't turn you in, Stephen.

But...

[stammers]

...if you didn't report me to MOM, then who did?

[gasps]

[gasps]

[intense music playing]

Ouch.

Sorry, office, buddy.

You just went a bit... crazy.

[device beeps]

Got her, sir.

Yes, I'll find the two delinquents and bring 'em in.

Okay. Ready?

Let's suck up some anomalies.

[whirring]

- [air rushing] - [all scream]

[screaming]

- [muffled scream] - Ah!

[shrieking]

[Jonesie] Get him!

[Davey] Take my hand! Take my hand!

Hey! Here!

Take it!

[air rushing]

[strained scream]

[yelling]

[shrieking]

[all gasp]

[breathing heavily]

- Hell, yeah! - [all] Shh!

[door creaks closed]

[Jonesie] Okay.

Okay.

Now we celebrate!

[all cheer]

[uplifting music playing]

[distant cheering]

[muffled groans]

[panting] Okay. Wait, okay.

[grunting]

I can't. I can't.

I'll be back. I promise. I promise.

[muffled] Stephen!

[groans]

[excited chatter]

[Mr. Schneider] Hey, hey, guys.

Schneider, you're alive!

Okay, guess what? We crushed it!

All right, you have to go find those missing mascot heads now.

There's another DAD here.

And 6689 will keep degrading

unless the missing matter is returned.

But what about you, and how are we gonna find the mascot heads?

[Mr. Schneider] You've made it this far, you'll figure it out.

And if not, one of the other Schneiders

is gonna have to help you,

because I have to stay here and, uh...

handle things.

[chatter and laughter]

[Davey] But what about them?

As soon as you go through, they're gonna refreeze and reset

to exactly the way they were before the override.

So they're not gonna remember any of this?

They're just gonna go back to being mad at us?

Yeah.

Can you give us a minute?

Yeah.

[Jonesie] Hey, guys, that was...

That was really great work.

I have to admit, that was kind of... fun.

- [all giggle] - [Davey] It was.

But we have to...

go away for a bit.

And, uh...

[tearfully] ...we just wanted to thank you for everything.

Oh, my God. What?

It's fine. We forgive you.

We'll see you when you get back.

Oh. Oh...

[laughs]

[indistinct chatter]

[Davey chuckles nervously]

[whispers] It's okay to cry.

[clears throat]

Davey?

[laughs]

All right, look, I've...

I've put the coordinates for 6689 on the holo network,

so as soon as you get the mascot heads,

you can come straight back here, okay?

Whatever happens out there, I'm...

I'm proud of you.

And I've enjoyed getting to know you.

- Kinda. - Yeah, man.

- Okay. - [Davey] You too.

Also, could you mention that to the other Schneiders

when you chat with them next,

'cause they think we're massive screwups.

I thought you said they loved you.

- Love is a strong word. - Oh, my God.

Just get the mascot heads and get back here.

[rock music playing]

[ticking]

[sighs]

Hey!

Hey.

Is that-- Is that Andy?

Did we do... Did we go to the academy together?

Stephen Schneider?

Long time!

- Oh, man! - Yeah.

So, I mean,

any insight into what the heck happened here?

Uh...

um...

uh...

Yes.

Look...

I built the portal with the help of the other Schneiders,

and we've been helping Davey and Jonesie

escape Cheryl ever since.

We finally got them home.

And then there were these missing mascot heads.

Anyway, I sent the girls back through the portal

so they could retrieve them, and we could reset 6689.

Then after that, I and the other Schneiders

will take full responsibility...

uh, for...

For everything.

Stephen, relax.

None of that is necessary.

Or happening.

What?

Gosh, and to think all those crazy stories

Cheryl said about you were true!

[Andy laughs]

Twist alert!

Hey.

It was you.

[menacing music playing]

Oh, farts.

It was me.

So, Cheryl, what have you done with her?

How did you get that? Wait, wait, wait, wait. Cheryl?

Cheryl!

[exhales]

Oh, boy.

Disgusting vermin.

[beeping]

Oh, Cheryl, got some bad news about your buddy Schneider.

Oh, farts.

[beeping]

[inhales and sighs]

Whew!

[Karl] So, what you're saying is Cheryl attacked you

and murdered Schneider 6689,

and then locked the universe so the girls can't get back.

[beeping rapidly]

[clicks]

You have full discretion to use whatever resources

or force is necessary,

but hurry and be discreet,

because if 6689 stays locked in stasis for much longer...

it may have to be decommissioned for good.

[whistling]

[door slides closed]

[Andy] Open encrypted file.

Andy's Dandy Manifesto.

Hmm.

[suspenseful music playing]

Hmm.

Take your time, girls.

I am in no rush.

[Mr. Schneider] So, bad news.

We have no idea where the mascot heads are.

That is very, very bad.

That's absolutely garbage.

- [groans] - Forsooth. Lamentable tragedy.

I got lunch with Pitt this morning.

We're gonna get into so much trouble.

My specialty in this situation is panic.

- You know, harsh tokes. - This sounds like a YP,

and not an MP.

Your problem, not my problem.

Understand?

Well, it, uh, looks like the girls are going back

into the key change.

[both, singsongy] Multiverse!

[guitar music playing]

[all groan]

[folksy guitar music continuous]

♪ Feels like I'm made of glass ♪

♪ I could cut you ♪

♪ Or you could break me in half ♪

♪ Spending days ♪

♪ In a pane I didn't know I had ♪

♪ Keeping away ♪

♪ On the mainland ♪

♪ It takes time ♪

♪ In this world of mine ♪

♪ I'm seeing... ♪

[song fades]

[upbeat music playing]

[laughter]

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