Original subtitles

- [low-key piano music playing] - [light bulbs humming]

[electricity powering down]

[powering up]

[both screaming]

[creature snarling]

[yelling indistinctly]

God!

- Oh! - God!

Okay, okay!

Who knew that the giant spider living under the school

was gonna be such a good liar?

You know what? It is not our fault

that we automatically assumed

that hatching a bunch of radioactive spider eggs

would immediately lead to cool superpowers instead of...

I know! A spider apocalypse!

- One thousand percent! - Yeah!

- I wasn't ready for that today. - God!

- Oh! Okay, okay. - [Jonesie] It's fine. It's over.

What's going on with this world, huh?

What's going on with this world?

I don't know.

Could be, like...

Like killer clowns?

What about, uh, demons?

Demons is good.

- Zombies? - Oh, butts for heads.

- I haven't seen zombies yet. - Heads for butts.

- Or that, sure. - Or farts--

Farts for burps, okay? I'm down for anything.

- I'm ready. Ready to go. - Okay. Sure. Sure, sure, sure.

[school bell rings]

[indistinct chatter]

Looks like school day.

- It's kind of eerily normal. - [Davey] So normal.

So normal.

- Hey. - Hi.

- Hey. - [stammering] Hi.

Hi.

- How are you? - I'm good.

- [laughs] Good. - Yeah. Us too.

We're good, too. We're very good and very happy.

Yes.

We've been here all day, as you saw.

- Shall we go to science? - [both] Yes!

- Duh. - Classic.

- Second-period science - That is a classic class

- at a classic time. - ...with my favorite guy.

Did you guys do the homework?

- No, no. - [Jonesie] No.

- Also classic. - Also classic.

You're eating an orange?

Yeah.

You famously don't like handheld fruits

because they're too sticky.

Um, I've never said that in my life.

And I love oranges. You girls are so silly.

- [both laugh] - Yeah, you know us.

[Davey] Okay.

Hey, guys.

Um, okay, what are the odds that this world

is pretty much exactly the same as ours,

but the only food anyone ever eats is oranges?

High.

[school bell rings]

Okay. Good morning, class.

[girl] Good morning.

[Mr. Schneider] Now, today, we will be continuing

our experiment of making a working battery

from our only known source of food and sustenance...

oranges.

Um, duh.

Duh indeed, Sierra. Duh indeed.

Okay, so we take the positive there

and the negative there.

I'm sorry, is this the most

boring world we've been to?

Yeah, but at least we're gonna be able

to blend in for once.

Plus, when is the last time we consumed any vitamin C?

You're right. No drama, no Cheryl, no scurvy.

We're good.

Davey. Jonesie. No talking. See me after class.

Oh. Okay. Yes.

-"See me after class." Yes. - [Jonesie] Turn around.

Thank you, we will see you after class, teacher.

Okay.

[school bell rings]

[Mr. Schneider] Everybody out.

- Thank you, Mr. Schneider. - No...

Yeah, all right.

Davey and Jonesie,

I'm sure I don't need to warn you

about the dangers of not paying attention.

You two.

Okay. Hey, hey, hey.

Mr. S, you do not need to give us the spiel.

"Just blend in, no drama." Yeah.

We got this whole universe on lock.

Yes, typical universe.

Except the only thing anyone eats is oranges.

- Easy. - Peasy.

[both] Orange squeezy.

[Mr. Schneider] Okay.

It is most certainly not orange squeezy.

Do you have any idea the havoc you wrecked

in your previous universe?

I'm sorry, but Queen Octavia

seemed like a super nice, giant talking spider.

Yeah, how were we supposed to know hatching all her eggs

was actually a bad idea?

Or that Cheryl would immediately know that it was us?

Or that she would once again take out her rage

by turning that universe's Schneider into a sea cucumber?

- Like that literally could have happened to anyone. - Anybody.

[Mr. Schneider] No, it literally couldn't have.

It could and does only ever happen to you two.

Have we not been clear?

That is a can-of-worms question.

[Mr. Schneider] I-I just--

I don't understand why you continue to insist

on meddling in the rules of every universe you enter.

We are not meddling, man.

We are doing the right thing.

[Davey] Okay, what? A mother comes up to you.

She goes, "Help me with my babies."

She has like eight eyes and they're all crying.

- It's really sad. - Yeah, and you're gonna go

"Yes, 'cause I'm a good person and I'm gonna help you, Mother."

You're talking about radioactive man-eating spiders.

- [both] People-eating spiders. - You caveperson.

You are so lucky we weren't recording,

- because you would be canceled. - Canceled.

I can't even look at you.

You are so comfortable in your cushy little life

that you've never actually stood up for anything.

[Mr. Schneider] What cushy little life?

I am a disgraced genius

moonlighting as a science teacher

whose fate is consistently in the hands

of two actual teenagers.

Oh!

Okay, you know what?

I-- We have actually been looking out for you

quite a bit,

and I think that's actually pretty selfless,

considering the circumstances.

Unless you would prefer to have your memories erased

by a deranged psychopath.

- No. - Okay, well, obviously not.

[Mr. Schneider] Okay, well, then in this world,

you are not going to meddle, you're going to blend in.

For once.

- Okay. - Okay.

Giant, talking spiders are one thing,

but eating a few oranges, that's not hard.

It's nature's candy.

- No, that's ice. - What? How?

- Uh, about that. - Ice being nature's candy?

No, of course not. Or eating oranges.

You're probably not gonna need to do any of that.

So, I'm gonna have the portal up and ready

in about an hour.

So why don't you go to third period

and then come straight back here,

and don't go anywhere else.

But after third period's lunch.

And all this talk about oranges has made us hungry.

For oranges.

We are very scurvy-conscious right now.

Have you read the articles? It's coming back hard.

Yeah, well, just don't go to lunch, okay?

- Bye. - Okay.

- Bye. - Bye.

Is it just me or is he being weirder than usual?

Oh, no, he's definitely hiding something.

We're definitely going to lunch, right?

Yes, we're going to lunch.

♪ Everything is boring ♪

♪ Wake up and I'm snoring ♪

♪ I think I could die ♪

♪ Right here, right now ♪

♪ Everything is boring ♪

Hey!

[clears throat]

[sniffles]

Mm.

[squishing]

[smacks lips]

Mm.

Oh, sorry. Want some?

What is that?

Sea bass.

I picked up the recipe over in Gelatin World.

If you can mind-over-matter it, it really does taste like fish.

- [computer chimes] - Oh, it's time.

Don't you just love the bimonthly meetings?

It's always such a kick to get on the horn

with the top brass.

[Andy sighs and clears throat]

[computer chimes]

Andy Butler ready to report.

[chiming]

Uh, sure.

Yeah, I can go first.

Um, let's see.

Uh, this week, I closed 25 cases,

and last week I actually broke my own record.

Forty-one cases.

[chiming]

Oh, thank you.

But you know what?

It was a team effort.

I just did the legwork.

And the brainwork.

And, you know, all the filing too.

Cheryl?

I am still working on case file 6689,

but I am certain it won't be long

till I apprehend the delinquents in question.

They are just a little more...

unpredictable than I'd expected.

Ooh, wow.

They did not like that.

[laughs] Whoo!

Boy, if we thought you weren't mad

at those two girls before, look out now, right?

Whew!

[laughs]

Oh, my.

[funky music playing]

♪ When I first saw you ♪

♪ Something stuck within me ♪

♪ My arms stuck like glue To my sides... ♪

Yeah, I'll take the orange.

Yeah, I'll have an orange.

♪ If I could've held you ♪

♪ I would've held you ♪

♪ But I'd rather choke... ♪

Always a pleasure. Thank you.

♪ Rip me up and start again ♪

♪ Rip me up and start again ♪

- Where's yours? - [Davey] Hmm?

[Jonesie] Orange.

[Davey] I don't know.

- Share? - Sure.

[voice] Please don't eat me.

You say something?

No.

[voice] It's me.

- The orange? - [voice] Yes.

Um...

Okay, so, uh, are you gonna maybe--

Are you gonna explain--?

[voice] Yup, I'll explain.

- Yeah. Thank you. - [Jonesie] Please.

[voice] I just wasn't sure you could hear me.

- Oh, no. We can obviously hear you. - Loud and clear.

[voice] Perfect. My name is Julius.

You're an orange named Julius?

- [Julius] Yes. - Orange Juli--

No, you know what? Never mind. Never mind.

Okay, um, you can talk?

[Julius] Ahem, I, like all oranges,

have the power to telepathically communicate with humans.

Or at least we once did.

Long ago, oranges and people

lived in harmony

until the humans got a taste for our flesh.

Realizing the vitamin C in our blood

could make them powerful, they became crazed with it,

losing their ability to hear our pleas for mercy!

Okay.

- Okay, come on. - Come on. Yeah.

- Come on. - [laughing] Come on.

- Come on! - Like, come on. Really.

[Julius] It's true.

- Look around you. - Come on.

[yelling]

[shrieks]

[screaming]

- [oranges moaning and crying] - [bars clanging]

- [whirring] - [orange screaming]

[students scream and howl]

So why are we the only ones that can hear you?

[Julius] I don't know.

Most people lost the ability to hear us centuries ago.

Oh, but we are not most people

because we're from another universe.

Right. And that's why we're the only--

[Julius] You're our only hope!

We were gonna say that, yes.

[Julius] My citrus brethren have grown too fearful

and weak to fight back.

Only you can help us overthrow

our human overlords

and make them see the error of their ways.

Okay. Okay, cool.

Okay, just a casual, full-on coup.

No, totally. Okay, um, hey, Julius?

Do you mind if we, like, have a hot minute?

[Julius] Absolutely. Chat it over. It's a big ask.

- [Jonesie] Thank you. Very polite. - [Davey] Thank you.

- Yep. Just hang out. - [Julius] Yeah.

- [Julius] Yeah, that's fine. Absolutely. I'll be here. - Yeah, we'll be right back.

Okay, so this is not exactly not meddling.

Oh, no, this is the opposite of not meddling.

But let's be real, how do we not not meddle on this one?

[Davey] Yeah, in fairness, I mean, we've taken on causes

way stupider than this one, right?

- Do you mean, like, the spiders? - The spiders. Two hours ago.

- Literally two hours ago. Uh-huh. - But this seems legit.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, unless the oranges are some, I don't know,

dangerous fruit race hell-bent on world domination?

- Not getting that vibe? - Not getting that vibe.

- No, me neither. - No.

Okay. Hey, Julius, we're in.

We're in. And maybe somewhere underneath

Schneider's unapologetic selfishness,

there is a deeper urge to actually do the right thing.

The second I said that...

Yeah, you heard as soon as you said it? That's not happening?

...that is just not gonna happen.

- That's okay. To the lab? - Okay. To the lab.

[Julius] Whoa, whoa, watch the navel.

Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Yup.

Okay.

Oh, good.

We're almost recalibrated here.

I think we're just about set to--

And you went to lunch.

Yes! Yes, we went to lunch, okay?

This is gonna sound crazy. I know it's gonna sound crazy,

- but there's this-- - The oranges are sentient?

Yes.

You knew?

Well, yes. No. Sort of.

You know, I've been here so long,

I just kind of naturally tuned them out.

You see, I knew you were hiding something stupid/horrifying!

Okay, for your information, I do not eat them.

I subsist on a yeast paste I invented

called Schneider Schmear, so...

Okay, first off, you didn't actually stop anyone

from eating them, so that's a bad brag, man.

Okay, well, what would you suggest I do?

- Something. - Literally, anything?

Oh, just maybe the bare minimum?

There's no point, okay?

Because the orange-eaters are too powerful.

And besides, with Cheryl closing in as she has,

we simply can't risk it.

Okay, well, we can't just do nothing.

Of course you can. See, this is not your fight.

You're only gonna make things worse.

And you're gonna get me turned into a sea cucumber.

[Julius] If I could just jump in for a sec.

Your adult male friend, he kind of seems like a...

- What's the word? - Oh, um, a coward?

- Yeah, we're all thinking it. - [Julius] Ooh, juicy.

Did that orange just call me a coward?

- I am not a coward. - That's what a coward would say.

I am not. You want to know the secret of the multiverse?

You're gonna tell us anyways.

Many of the-- Scratch that.

Most of the worlds are terrible,

and there's nothing you can do about it.

So the sooner you come to terms with that,

the happier that you-- Scratch that, I will be.

[Julius] Psst. Down here. Don't listen to him.

Please, I beg you.

Help me and my orange friends

get the justice we deserve!

- So cool. - Yeah.

- We gotta do that... - Oh, yes, that sounds great,

but first we do have to go to the bathroom.

Mm-hmm. We have our menstrual time.

Oh, yeah! Ow!

- Oh, God! - Okay. I understand.

- Oh! - No, it's fine.

Just go do whatever you do.

[Davey] Yeah, honor our moons.

[Jonesie] Praise Mother Gaia.

[Davey] Eat some lipstick. That's what we do.

- Yeah. You wouldn't get it. - Yeah.

But if this is some trick that you've pulled on other Schneiders,

- I'm gonna... - No!

That's very embarrassing for me, so...

- You're an ally. - Yes.

[Jonesie] Get this guy a badge.

Yeah, this guy loves women.

[Mr. Schneider] Just close the door.

- Okay. Thank you, ally. - Cheers.

- [Davey] Bye. - [door closes]

[sighs]

[Jonesie] You know, for a science teacher,

Schneider seems oddly uncomfortable

with basic human biology.

[Davey] He's uncomfortable with a lot of things.

Emotional honesty, wearing jeans,

basic acts of bravery.

But don't worry, Julius.

Even if Schneider's too selfish to help us, we got you.

[Julius] My gratitude is boundless.

Though, why are we in this human waste-collector room?

If there's anything we learned from this experience,

- it's vents. - I would say that 90%

of our plans have been vent-based.

Borderline too many.

Let's go!

[oranges screaming]

Eep.

We need a distraction.

[Julius] I can do it.

That's so brave of you.

I dig the initiative.

But how?

[Julius] Just get me down there.

Okay.

[Julius] For freedom!

Nope.

[Jonesie] Well, that didn't work.

Yeah, I've no idea what we were expecting.

He's literally an orange.

[Julius] I'm okay, guys. I'll just wait down here.

Now what?

I have a plan.

- Is it good? - No.

- [girl clears throat] - Finally.

We're just about ready to go.

So I think it is time to...

Ah! Uh...

Um...

Where are Davey and Jonesie?

Well, how should I know? I mean, they're your friends, right?

- I think? I can never tell. - We noticed them at lunch...

not eating oranges.

We don't like that.

We like oranges.

Obviously, everyone does.

So, like, what gives, Stephen?

Davey and Jonesie? They love the things.

In fact, I'm sure they're in the caf right now

eating oranges because they're super hungry

from having forgotten to eat oranges at lunch.

[Schneider exhales]

Or they are in the caf freeing the oranges,

and I've just sent a pack of students directly to them,

which will surely cause an anomaly, yup.

♪ Raindrops on oranges And lovely little oranges ♪

♪ Little bright kettles That are orange ♪

- ♪ When they are orange... ♪ - Davey.

How dare you waste the precious time of the kitchen staff

with... uh...

without making it a two-hander.

And a-one, and a-two, and...

- ♪ I want to say it... ♪ - ♪ If you say "orange" ♪

♪ And I say "orange" ♪

♪ And I say "orange" And you say "orange" ♪

- [Mr. Schneider] And orange. - [Davey] Orange!

We're all gonna go now, okay? This is your chance for freedom.

And open this little door.

Look, look.

[whispering] You guys are free. Go!

♪ Let's peel The whole thing off ♪

- Ah, very good. Yes, okay. - And scene!

- So... - [loud crash]

Oh, and let's everybody drop a beat now.

♪ And don't tell me What to eat ♪

♪ My favorite food Is a citrus treat ♪

♪ You slice it and spread it And you-- ♪

♪ And I love it so bad ♪

♪ I put it on toast And call it "marmalad" ♪

- Okay... - [Davey] Oh, yes!

Trust me, you don't want to stay here.

There are teenagers, and they want to eat you,

and we don't have a lot--

Hi.

I was just having a lie-down.

[Joyce] Oh.

Um, I'm gonna tell you something.

And then it might sound a little bit crazy,

but would you believe me if I told you

that oranges are actually a sentient race

of citrus fruits who communicate telepathically,

but only Davey and I can hear them

because we're from another universe?

Yeah.

Really?

No follow-up questions?

No. Not at the moment, no.

Okay, great.

Uh, listen to me, I'm gonna need you

to get as many of these guys out the back as you can.

This is a life-or-death situation, you got it?

And if this conversation has not already caused an anomaly,

that...

♪ Oranges they're so good ♪

...that definitely will.

- Oh. - [Davey] Orange!

[Mr. Schneider] Orange.

And when I say "fruity,"

you say, "yum-yum."

- Fruity. Fruity. - [all] Yum-yum.

[Mr. Schneider] You don't have to say "yum-yum."

Yum-yum. Okay, so that's what--

Hey, yeah. Yes, thank you.

The art of live theater is very much alive, isn't it?

- We can keep going. - No, you don't have to do that.

And you know what? Like any good art or orange,

I'm sure we all need some time to digest.

So, I'm actually just gonna take my two stars--

Hold it!

- [sniffing] - [Davey and Jonesie] Ah!

You haven't been eating your oranges.

- I knew it. - Just one bite. You'll love it.

- [Davey] No, no, no, no. - [Jonesie] Oh, no!

[both whimpering]

[Julius] Oh, no.

[all yell]

Get away!

Stop!

Davey and Jonesie are telling the truth.

Girl, about what?

They haven't said anything in four minutes.

[Davey] It's true!

Or it's gonna be...

as soon as I explain things.

Right now.

Oranges...

are people.

[Joyce] Yeah. Yeah. Take it in.

I mean, they're clearly just oranges, so...

But, like people,

they have thoughts and feelings.

Mm-hmm. Okay.

[Davey] And that's exactly why

we're gonna stop eating oranges

as food.

Today, today, the oranges, they rise up.

[Davey] Yes.

Today, the oranges take a stand!

Come on.

Today, the oranges, they say "no more"!

Today, they--

- What is going on? - Okay, now you hustle?

[Davey] I don't know.

- Excuse me? One second. - Yeah, one second.

[Jonesie] You said you wanted revolution.

[Julius] Oh, we do, but years of persecution

and an overwhelming lack of limbs

have made my people cowardly.

Much like your adult male friend who also seems to be fleeing.

- Yup, like the wind. - Ugh.

[grunts]

Abbott need oranges!

- And run. - Interesting.

He's so strong.

[muttering]

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

- [girls whimpering] - [grunting]

[all screaming]

Ah!

Davey, Jonesie.

I've been eagerly awaiting our next meeting.

Ah, yes.

Uh, sure, vice principal.

Vice Principal Mason, how are you?

Good?

It's so good to see you at the school we go to

and that we see you a lot at.

It's great to see you again.

It's 'cause it's normal.

We were just about to, uh, eat that.

We were just about to eat that orange.

Yeah, we were, like, so hungry for the--

- For an orange. - Orange.

- 'Cause that's what we eat here. - Every day.

- This orange, right here? - Yup.

[Julius] Go. Save yourselves.

Yep, yep, yep, because we...

We, like all children at this school,

we love to eat oranges.

So if we could just have that one...

Oh. Of course.

In fact, why don't you take a big bite right now?

- Oh... - [Julius] No!

What's the problem? Not hungry?

I-- Uh, I'm so hungry.

I'm hungry for oranges. Please give it to me.

It's just that Davey is absolutely, like,

very specific about the way that she eats, so...

Yeah, I'm just, like, weird. It's like really weird here.

And you're gonna think of me differently, you know?

She has these, like, freaky little teeth.

- They're like... - Yeah, they're not that freaky.

They're a little freaky, but I have a big, long tongue.

- You would hate it. Vile. - It's gross. It's gross. It is.

[Julius] Ah!

It's okay. Do what you must.

No. No...

♪ ...body's gonna stop me ♪

♪ From eating this orange ♪

♪ Nobody's gonna stop me ♪

[laughs]

♪ ...from eating this orange ♪

You're going to that well a lot today, huh?

I am, I am.

If this were just a normal day,

then you would just eat this orange.

- [Julius] It's okay. Just do it. - [Cheryl] Eat it!

I'm getting very tired of these games.

[Julius] Goodbye, cruel world.

[Cheryl] I'm gonna give you

to the count of three.

[Julius] Wait! I changed my mind.

Please, no, don't eat me! Don't eat me!

No! Don't!

Two...

- [Julius] No, no! - [Sierra] There!

- [panting] - [Davey] Okay, great.

I'm gonna go eat this in private, weirdly. Thank you so much.

Ah!

[Joyce] Stop!

Davey, Jonesie, I tried explaining to them

that you two can hear the oranges

'cause you're from another universe and traveled here

through a portal on one of these lockers,

but they won't believe me. [groans]

Hi.

[Jonesie chuckles nervously]

I can't believe that this is how we go out.

- It's so dumb. - It's so dumb.

[voices whispering]

[both laughing nervously]

[Mr. Schneider] Stop.

[breathing heavily]

Davey and Jonesie aren't telling the truth.

Oh, my God. Can we not with these dramatic entrances?

They're kind of killing the pacing, so...

I'm sorry, what I mean is Davey and Jonesie

are indeed not from around here.

And, no, they haven't eaten any oranges.

[grunts]

Hey, maybe take the pacing note, dude.

But the point is that they did something,

because sometimes a man has to stand up

and do something,

even if it's inconvenient or uncomfortable,

or involves a grown man talking to a pile of loose fruit.

Wow. What a brave little speech, Stephen.

Too bad selflessness has never been your strong suit.

[breathing heavily]

[chuffing]

Do you guys, like, know each other well,

- or is that--? - Never mind that.

- Okay. - Mind this.

For justice!

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Uh, for justice!

♪ Rip me up and start again ♪

♪ Rip me up and start again ♪

♪ Rip me up and start again ♪

[voices shouting and cheering]

♪ Rip me up and start again ♪

Ah!

- [screaming] - [orange shouting]

[Emile] Let go of my ears!

[grunting]

[Mark] Hey, guys, what-- What did I miss?

[voices screaming]

[high-pitched yelping]

[screaming]

Hi. I'm Joyce.

The portal's online.

- Go. - We can't go without you.

You'll get sent to G.R.A.N.D.M.A's.

I did the right thing.

I can live with the consequences.

If I learned one thing from you guys today is that--

Ah!

I knew you were the mastermind behind the portal.

- Schneider! - Give me that!

[Davey] Schneider!

- [Julius] Let's do this. - You sure?

[Julius] I'm ready,

or my name isn't Julius.

- Orange Jul-- - Hey, Cheryl!

[Julius] For freedom!

Gotcha!

[Mark] I'm dying! I will never eat another orange!

[whistles]

Abbott need oranges!

[panting and grunting]

Ah!

Go.

You got this, Julius!

Good luck, Schneider.

[rock music playing]

[Julius laughing]

[Julius] Oh, I got this, all right.

[cackling]

[bluesy harmonica playing]

Right, so this is better how?

[Julius] Silence!

Now, where were we?

Oh, yes, the food pyramid.

[laughs]

You're in Julius' world now.

[cackles]

[oranges laugh]

[Julius] Oh, yes.

Oh, yeah.

[laughing]

[upbeat pop music playing]

[pop music slows down]

[upbeat rock music playing]

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0