All language subtitles for Davey and Jonesies Locker s01e05 Return to Fantasmanaria.eng

[both gasp]

- [air whooshes]
- [locker door slams]

[both panting]

Oh!

[sighs]

Not to sound dramatic,

but running is literally
a crime against humanity.

Agreed. Anyone who does it for
fun needs a psych evaluation.

I wish we could just chill.

I know. Okay, obviously loving
multiverse-hopping with you.

Likewise. No doubt.

And I am in no rush to go back
to the mess

that we left back home.

But some parts of home

are starting to sound
pretty good.

- Coffee.
- Different outfits.

- My therapist Diane.
- My therapist Diane!

The fact that we both have
therapists named Diane.

[sighs]

Is that the Tree of Craving?

[Jonesie] The what?

The tree we made up
when we were kids.

Remember?

That grows whatever food
you want?

[Jonesie] Um...

Sashimi!

Yeah.

[sniffs] Oh!

Our old bikes!

[laughs] Aw!

[Jonesie] Strider?

Cirque du Horsé! Good boy!

Oh! Okay, wait.

Why is all
of our old stuff here?

[female voice] Davendora.

Joneselot.

[ethereal chanting]

[sighs]

Dude, it can't be.

It is.

Jonesie, we are standing

in the make-believe
fantasy world

that we made up
when we were eight.

We're in Fantasmanaria!

- [chuckles]
- Whoa.

[upbeat pop music playing]

[Jonesie] Davey?

Uh...

- You good?
- Yes!

[gasps]

Cool!

Our old outfits!

This is wild. I haven't thought
about Fantasmanaria in years.

Like, when was the last time
we even played this?

I don't know.

Yeah, I think it was like summer
before seventh grade,

and we were probably too old
to be playing pretend.

[Jonesie] Okay, wait.

If this is a universe based
on a world that we created,

what if Schneider's not here?

We didn't know back then.

Oh, I'm here.

- [laughs unenthusiastically]
- [gasps] Right.

We made that blanket rule

that all adults
are just loosely wizards.

- [Jonesie] Yep.
- Well, I'm glad you find this

so amusing,
because you're stuck here.

Ugh! Dramatic. Why?

Well, the science lab
is kind of...

Oh.

- [owl hooting]
- [Davey] Adorable.

But not ideal for doing
futuristic science.

Exactly my point.

Do you know
how to reboot a portal with eye of newt?

Because I sure don't.

Then how have you been talking
to the other Schneiders?

I managed to hack
a magic mirror.

It was very hard.

You can kiss my glass [bleep]!

- Love his energy.
- Don't side with the mirror.

Unless you have some way of
sourcing the materials I need,

you're stuck here for good.

[gasps]

- Plurp!
- I'm sorry, what?

- Oh, my God! Okay, okay...
- Yes, yes, yes! Okay.

If there's a problem
and we can't solve it,

call in Plurp
who shall resolve it.

Plurp to meet you,
Mr. Schneider.

[shrieks]

- [giggles]
- What the hell?

[Davey] Hi, Plurp.

- [Jonesie] Hey, buddy.
- Hi, girls!

[Mr. Schneider]
What is this thing?

- [Davey] It's Plurp!
- [Jonesie] Whenever we would

make-believe ourselves
into a corner, we'd use Plurp.

Gives you what you need
to keep the story going.

Right. Whatever you need
to keep the story going.

Well, first of all,
that's very lazy writing.

Second of all,
how is this thing

supposed to give me my tools
to fix the portal?

In our defense,
we thought this was hilarious

- when we were eight.
- You thought what was hilarious?

I hear you got a problem,
Mr. Schneider,

and it's really tough.

You're gonna love this.

- No!
- How about I make you some,

plurp-plurp,
modern science stuff?

- No!
- [strains]

[popping sound]

Oh, dear God!

[Davey] Oh! Still hilarious.

- [laughs]
- [Mr. Schneider] Oh!

[fanfare playing]

Davendora the Mage
and Joneselot the Knight.

Harold the herald,
a.k.a., Mark.

[Mark] You have been summoned
by the prince

for an official quest.

Well, duty calls.

[Plurp] Yeah, you girls
go do your quest,

and me and Schneider
will figure out

how to fix that portal.

Okay. Bye, Plurp.

[Plurp]
So, should we make

a little old list
of what we need?

Plurp-plurp, notebook.

- [wet pop]
- Ugh.

Whoo! Still got it.

We're gonna have so much fun.

[Plurp titters]

[Mark imitating fanfare]

Presenting...

the great heroes
of Fantasmanaria.

Davendora and Joneselot.

[seductive jazzy music playing]

Wow, that is a real snapshot
of your turn-ons at the time.

- [whispers] Yeah.
- And apparently now.

[in normal voice]
Accurate.

Davendora. Joneselot.

I was so pumped to hear
of your guys' return.

For years, no one has seen nor
heard from our legendary heroes.

But now that you
have resurfaced,

Fantasmanaria is saved!

[all cheer and applaud]

Did you say "saved"?
From what?

A great evil

has taken over our realm.

Not even I can defeat it,

and I can bench-press 15 pounds.

I thought that was a lot
at the time.

- Okay.
- This extremely mysterious evil

has not only harshed up our
kingdom and ruined the vibes,

it's full-on stolen
our life source:

the Book of Fantasmanaria.

[Jonesie]
Someone stole the book we wrote

all our old Fantasmanaria
stories in?

You know what?
It'd actually be pretty cute

to see all the stuff we wrote
back then.

[eerie music playing]

Davey, did you just remember
something incredibly specific?

No!

No.

You must venture
to the Underrealm

and retrieve the great
and powerful book.

And only then can you defeat
the Great Evil.

So, who do you think
the Great Evil is?

Probably Snarlox the Ice Witch.

- Sierra. Yeah.
- Oh, yeah.

Oy. Not our most nuanced
portrayal of Wiccan culture.

But also, like,
Sierra, ice witch.

- Ha-ha.
- Yeah.

We did her good. Yup.

So all we have to do
is sneak down to the Underrealm,

which I'm pretty sure
is just the basement,

defeat Sierra
with our usual panache,

get the book,
and then we're good.

This is, like,
the easiest world ever.

Wait...

Yeah, I was thinking,

what if we did the quest in full
to avoid another anomaly?

Unless you think
quests are stupid.

No. If you want to do it, yeah.
We can do it. Yeah.

- Well, do you want to do it?
- I'll do it if you do it.

- Okay.
- Plus...

we've always been awesome,
so I bet our childhood fantasies

have aged beautifully.

Mm-hmm.
- [Mark] Toot-toot!

[train whistle blows]

- [laughs]
- All aboard the Gumdrop Express.

Gumdrop Express
to the first trial.

[Davey] Thank you, Mark,
for picking us up.

Ooh, yep.

Okay.

[Davey grunts]

[chuckles nervously]

Yeah.

[train whistle blows]

[Plurp] Gosh, Mr. Schneider,
I sure do hate to rush you,

but time's a-tickin',

so we should plurply
get started.

Fine.

Commencing portal rebuild.

Motherboard?

Plurp-plurp motherboard!

- [Plurp strains]
- [wet pop]

Careful, it's hot and plurpy.

[sighs]

Um, are you okay, Stephen?

[laughs]

Um...

Yeah. Heh-heh.

[upbeat medieval music playing]

[train whistle blows]

Thanks for riding
the Gumdrop Express.

We hope you had fun
and hope to see you soon.

[Jonesie] Just go, Mark.

What is that?

Joyce?

[Davey] Yeah, remember?

She came over
in third grade once

and asked to play Fantasmanaria
with us.

It was really... fun.

[Jonesie]
And we made her be a door?

That's kind of rude.

Actually, we wanted her
to be Irelina Stormwing,

Duchess of the Cloud Realm.

And then she asked to be a door.

Yeah. Very on-brand.

You may pass as long as you
answer these questions nine.

What is one times ten?

- It's ten.
- Mm-hmm.

[Davey] Yeah.

She would basically just ask us
a bunch of math questions

until her mom
came to pick her up,

which in retrospect,
I think we were just doing

her Kumon homework for her,
I don't know.

Nice one. I was way off.

But if you thought
that was hard,

try this on for size.

What is...

two times ten?

Twenty.

- Awesome.
- [Davey] Yeah.

Pretty sophisticated stuff
right there, right?

We were incorporating math and
making it fun and educational.

It's 30, Joyce! You just take
the number you're multiplying,

you add a zero
to the end of it.

Not that hard.

Hmm, cool.

- Is something bothering you?
- No.

No. It is fine.

[Joyce] Um, we're gonna
have to call a time-out.

- My pencil got stuck.
- [Jonesie laughs]

Damn it, Joyce,
can we please get through now?

Oh, you're in a rush.
Okay. Come in.

[dramatic music playing]

[Mr. Schneider]
It's typical.

I am the preeminent mind
of my generation.

- Of any generation.
- [Plurp] Oh, yeah.

And does anyone appreciate that?

- [Plurp] Not enough.
- No.

I'm always just a pawn

in someone else's narrative.

[Plurp] Gotcha.

I've only ever used my genius

to help other people.

- Uh-huh.
- What do they do? Reject me.

- Betray me.
- [Plurp] Yeah.

Report my private,

but only mildly dangerous
experiments

to a MOM ethics committee.

Is this about today, or...?

Here I am in a wizard's hat.

- [Plurp] Yeah.
- Cleaning up

after two unhinged teenagers

so they can go through
my portal.

- [Plurp] Oh, boy.
- Oh, but it's fine.

No, who cares?

That's just what it means
to be a Schneider.

Wow, sounds like you've got some
major emotional baggage

to work through, Stephen.

Well, I guess we Schneiders

have been under
a lot of stress lately.

Well, if you've got an issue...

- [Plurp strains]
- [wet pop]

Grab a tissue.

[upbeat music playing]

You're welcome.

Are you sure you're okay?

Yeah. Yup.
Just getting my quest on.

Uh, taking the quest.

Waving my hands in the quest air
and questing them around.

It's just that
it didn't sound right.

Yup. Everything's good
in the questerhood, so...

"Reserved for the guests
of the hottest event

in Emillion years."

- Welcome!
- [both gap]

Welcome, travelers,
to the hottest social event

of the seventh grade.

- [giggles]
- [Davey] Right.

This must be when Emile

was pre-planning
his bar mitzvah,

"Emile in Wonderland.

Through the Looking Glass
of Boyhood to Manhood."

Good name. Gotta give it to him.

[Jonesie] Really played
the long game on that one.

- [both scream]
- Ah, ah, ah.

I didn't say you were invited.

Okay.

Now, the key to a good par-tay
is a good guest list.

And to snag an invite
to this soirée, I need to be...

- Ah!
- Dazzled!

- Emile!
- Why?

Now, to prove you've got
what I'm looking for,

I need to see something
so snatched and so fire

it'll leave me shook.

Ugh.

- Firmly written in 2018.
- [Davey] Uh-huh.

[Emile] I need to see...

[dramatic music playing]

...the routine.

- Oh, God.
- What routine?

Our old handshake.
You don't remember?

It was really complicated,
so we had to switch it

to the understated elegance
of the no-look high five.

- With me that you did this?
- Yup.

[yawns] Okay.

The biggest faux pas any guest
can commit is boring me.

You have ten seconds
to remember your routine

before you get bounced
off the premises.

Ten, nine...

- Don't make me do this alone.
- Just start,

then maybe it'll jog my memory.

[Davey]
I don't want to do it alone!

- I don't remember...
- ...four, three...

- Yes, you can.
- Fine. Okay.

...one.

D to the A to the V-E-Y.

She ain't got no alibi.

Louder! [chuckles]

J to the ONE
to the can't you SIE?

Jonesie, Jonesie,
is who she be.

Do the dance! Do the dance!

So pay a fee and take a knee

as we drop this dope-ass poetry!

R-R-R-R-Remix, remix.

[stammering]

We're two girls
who are number one.

Each of us come second to none.

We're the innest, the realest,
the baddest around.

Two best friends
gonna rock this town.

So if you want to join our crew,

take a number
and join the queue!

Whoo!

[exhales]

- [cackles]
- [both gasp]

Bravo! Bravo!

Now, try an Emile-tini.

It's Red Bull
with Pop Rocks on the rim.

[giggles] Oh, transport's ready
for your next challenge.

And don't forget your goody bags
on your way out.

Dude, that was amazing.

I can't believe
you remembered all of that.

- I can't believe you forgot.
- What...

- Are you mad at me?
- No.

Jeez.

Awkward.

You know, I'm a giver.

You know, that's the problem.

I've always been
someone who gives.

- Needle-nose pliers?
- Plurp. Plurp.

- Needle-nose pliers.
- [wet pop]

Okay...

You know, I'm getting
kinda tired.

And people see that,

and they just
take advantage of it.

and that's the way
it always was at MOM,

having my intelligence
constantly taken advantage of.

Yup, I can relate.

And did I ever
get any credit for it?

Did Stephen ever get
a moment in the sun?

- Probably not.
- You're darn right, I didn't.

You know, Plurp, you and I are
two sides of the same coin.

You know, we just give
and we give and we give--

- Hacksaw?
- Oh, yeah, yeah.

You know, Stephen,
I usually I only make

one or two things at a time,

and I've got
this heart condition,

so I really shouldn't...

- One hacksaw coming up.
- Anyway, we give and we give

- and we give and we give...
- Plurp-plurp, hacksaw!

And what do we have
to show for it?

- We deserve so much more.
- [wet pop]

You know?

Speaking of which, maybe we
could take a little old break.

Or at least, uh,
change the subject.

Oh. Absolutely. Yeah.

Enough about me.

Let's get into my father.

Now, there is a man with zero
self-awareness.

[dramatic music swells]

[funky surf music playing]

Well, at least we got to ride
the Gumdrop Express again.

Right?

[train whistle blows]

[Mark] Last stop:
final trial, Great Evil,

and the Book of Fantasmanaria.

Wait, are we at the end
of the quest?

[creature hisses]

[low demonic chuckle]

When you're done dramatically
remembering something

that you refuse
to tell me about,

can we get this over with, please?

Well, we should probably
go see Schneider.

We haven't seen him in a while.

Maybe we should see what's up.

What about causing an anomaly?

I miss being chased by Cheryl,
because it was great cardio.

Okay, as much as I love this
whole Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde thing,

I'm just gonna get the book
myself.

Wait, Jonesie...

Jonesie, wait.

Crap, crap, crap, crap!

[train whistle blows]

- [thud]
- [train motor hisses]

[panting]

Whoa.

- Is that Sierra?
- [Jonesie] Yes.

[Davey] Was Snarlox
the Ice Witch always stabbed?

[Jonesie] No.

I just want you to know
this is really messed up,

and I'm telling.

[gasps]

[Jonesie] I don't get it.

If Snarlox
isn't the great evil,

then what is?

Oh, no.

[Jonesie]
Is that a bubble tea straw?

Okay, we gotta
get out of here now!

Hold up. The book.

[Jonesie laughs]

[breathing heavily]

[Jonesie]
Look, it's Mark's train!

[gasps] And Plurp! Cute.

[Davey whimpering]

[wind gusting]

[Jonesie] What's that?

Nothing. It's nothing.
We should really--

We should really go, okay?

- [creature snarling]
- Oh!

[Davey whimpering softly]

Okay, um...

do you remember the summer
going into seventh grade

when we were supposed
to go back to drama camp?

But then my grandma
gave my entire family mono,

so then you decided to go
to computer camp instead?

Kind of.

And then, uh...

you made friends
with another girl

and kept sending me postcards
all summer

about how much fun
you two were having.

And then, when you got back,
you two kept hanging out,

and all she wanted to do was go
get bubble tea at the mall.

And you didn't want to play
Fantasmanaria anymore.

Dude, that was like two weeks
of one summer.

I barely even remember her.

Yeah, exactly.
That makes sense in retrospect.

Especially since she moved
back to Seattle

and we literally
never talked about her again.

But at the time, okay,
I may have colorfully expressed

some feelings
into the Book of Fantasmanaria,

and I regretted it.

I regretted it right away,
and I scratched it out.

But I'm sorry, okay?

Jonesie, I swear I didn't know
this was gonna happen.

What was going to happen?

[girl snarls and roars]

[dramatic music]

- Oh, my God. Is that--?
- Emily S.

- [sipping through straw]
- The bubble tea-drinking girl

from computer camp.

[roars]

Ah!

The table! Table!

Are you serious?

Did you know that she was
the great evil this whole time?

Is that why you wanted to do
the quest, to stall?

No! I just didn't want you
to see the book, okay?

And it didn't know
that my tween angsty drama

was gonna come to life
in this specific of a way.

[Emily roars]

Time for your makeover, girl!

[slurps]

[both] Whoa!

I was really fixated
on the bubble tea thing.

And the hat.

Ugh!

I'm sorry, okay?

[snarling]

[screams]

[roars]

[Plurp sighs]

Plurp, my man.

- This is it.
- [high-pitched mechanical whine]

Portal's back online.

And in a way, so am I.

Thanks, in part, to you.

Ah, great, cool.

What would a celebration be
without a little toast?

You've got to be kidding me.

Garçon, a bottle
of the 1995 Dom Pérignon,

and two glass flutes.

- [Plurp] Glass flutes?
- You know what, Stephen?

Live a little.

Let's make them crystal,
shall we?

- [Plurp] Crystal flutes?
- And... Plurp?

You okay? What's wrong?

[Plurp] What's wrong?
What's wrong?

What's wrong?

You are what's wrong!

[Plurp shrieks]

[snarling]

[both whimpering]

Come out, come out
wherever you are, Jonesie.

I wanna make you look gorge.

Davey, what was in that book?

What do you mean? It was this.

I know you.
You wrote something else.

It's makeover o'clock, babe.

What makeover?

When Emily S catches you...

she's gonna turn you
into a sheep.

- What?
- [roars]

- A sheep? I can't believe you!
- I didn't think. I'm sorry.

What do you think, that Emily S
had some coolness spell on me

and I was too much of a sheep
to even realize it?

[snarls]

[Davey]
It's not about Emily S, okay?

It's obviously about us.

I could tell that you weren't
into Fantasmanaria anymore

because it was too babyish

and you were all mature
all of a sudden.

And I freaked out because I felt
like you were leaving me behind.

- But I didn't!
- But what if you do, Jonesie?

[crying softly] Look at today.
You don't even remember it,

and we've been playing this
for years.

What if this thing that I
thought defined our friendship

means, like, nothing to you?

[roars]

Baa-baa, babe.

[Jonesie screams]

[Emily growls]

[shrieks]

♪ Two best friends ♪

♪ With the magical dream ♪

♪ To be the best adventurers ♪

♪ The world's ever seen ♪

Ah! No!

♪ Going on quests ♪

♪ And saving the day ♪

Oh, no!

♪ And also solving crimes ♪

♪ If they feel like ♪

Fantasmanaria anthem.

It's so cringe.

Just because my memory sucks
doesn't mean

that Fantasmanaria
didn't mean anything to me.

[roars]

♪ So take a trip, I dare ya ♪

♪ To the world
Of Fantasmanaria ♪

♪ Everything cool and fair
Yeah ♪

♪ Lives in Fantasmanaria ♪

♪ Fantasmanaria ♪

[croaks]

[scoffs]

Um, okay.

That was, like,
cute or [smirks] whatever,

but I'm more, like,
here maturity-wise,

so bye.

Oh, my God,
that's so embarrassing.

Well... [stammers]

Rude! And...

Because manners
are actually mature.

Yeah, so she always
sucked anyways.

- [door slams]
- [clears throat]

[female voice]
Davendora and Joneselot

resolved their differences.

Peace was restored
to the realm of Fantasmanaria.

But more importantly,
between these two friends.

[Jonesie] "The end."

- [explosion]
- [rumbling]

[loud thud]

Oh, come on!

Right, because if the story
we wrote

generates life in this world...

We should have not written
"the end."

And the girls
are back to running.

[explosion]

[Plurp] Seriously,
I asked if you wanted to talk,

and within seconds you sucked up
all the air in the room.

Would it kill you
to show some gratitude, man?

Plurp, I didn't mean to--

You think everyone
is out to get you,

but you have no concept

of how your behavior
is affecting them!

Do you know what it takes
to plurp out something

three times the size
of your own body?

I thought you liked it!

You should stop expecting
everyone else to change

and start looking inward!

Because you are nothing

but an oblivious, self-centered,

gaping vortex of need!

And now I'm having
a heart attack!

- What?
- [wet explosion]

[coughs and spits]

[gasps]

[shrieks]

No! No!

[Mr. Schneider sobbing
and wailing]

What the hell
did you do to Plurp?

We leave you alone
for one B-story

- and this is what happens?
- What did I do?

You didn't tell me he wasn't
intended for long-term use!

Well, yes,
because we obviously assumed

that you would just ask him
for a working portal device

and not use them until
he literally exploded!

Oh, what have I done?

[sobbing]

Oh, no!

- Oh, boy.
- Hmm.

Okay.

Uh, is the portal online, or--

Yeah.

Well, um, hey,
best of luck with all--

With all this stuff, okay?

I think maybe I do need
to look inward.

Well, never mind that.

[crying] Baby, come on!

[shrieks]

[both whimpering]

Run!

Totally our bad!

- Sorry!
- Sorry! Sorry!

[both panting]

Should we talk about how we just
destroyed an entire universe?

Well, we also created it,
so I think it nets out.

♪ Will you tell me ♪

♪ That you love me? ♪

♪ That I know you'll never ♪

♪ Know you'll never say ♪

♪ You'll never, never, never
Sing forever, never, never ♪

♪ If you know you're gonna
Tear me apart ♪

♪ And never, never, never
Sing forever, never, never ♪

♪ If you think you're gonna
Break my heart ♪

♪ Break my heart ♪

♪ So never, never, never
Sing forever, never, never ♪

♪ If you think you're gonna
Break my heart ♪

♪ Break my heart ♪

[upbeat music playing]

[laughter]

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