Original subtitles

[Sierra] Davey! Jonesie! You're dead!

[Mr. Schneider] I am about to prove

that nothing and no one will stand in the way

of Stephen Simon

Schne- Ah! Ah!

- [screaming] - Wait! No, no, no!

[ticking]

[ticking stops]

[gasps and pants]

No!

- [remote beeping] - No.

[sighs]

No, no, no.

No, no.

No, no, no.

[sighs]

Ew.

Okay, I can fix this.

I just need to contact the others.

I can fix this.

I can fix- Whoa!

[gasps]

[whimpering]

Oh...

I gotta get out of here.

[ominous music playing]

I have to change this. Okay.

I can do this. I just switch this.

[remote beeps]

Yes.

- [beeping rapidly] - No.

[gasps]

No.

No! No!

[energetic rock music playing]

[Davey and Jonesie screaming]

You don't belong here.

[in high voice] You don't belong here.

You don't belong here.

[Mr. Schneider shrieking]

[both scream]

[both panting]

What?

[Davey] Are those robes?

[Jonesie] And gems?

Wasn't our locker a tad messier than this?

- Where are we? - Dude, I don't know.

But wherever we are, I bet that-

[Mr. Schneider clears throat]

You don't belong here.

There it is. I guess, run?

Feels like run.

- [Jonesie] Yeah! - Wait, no, no, no!

Seriously, wait!

- What's going on? - Dude, I don't know.

But I'm pretty sure that our science teacher is evil.

It's fine. It's fine.

Stop.

- [man] Oh. - Uh...

Holy...

Are those the girls?

Well, I suppose the cat's out of the bag.

[both scream]

Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing?

[Jonesie] We are protecting ourselves,

because you are giving obvious bad-guy energy.

No, I am not. Why would you say that?

I don't know, because you're wearing that

and you're a grown adult chasing around two teenage girls

yelling, "You don't belong here!"

And now there's a million holographic yous

floating over our desks.

- Yeah. - Is that them?

- Dorby and Jimbo from 6689? - Yes.

It's Davey and Jonesie, by the way.

Yes, it is. The portal's down.

They overloaded it with their jumps.

What's the ETA on getting it back online?

Some of us have a day, babe.

I don't know. Has anyone been able to contact Schneider 6689?

Because without the coordinates, even if I can fix the portal,

there's no sure way of getting them home.

[in high voice] Oh, no. That is very, very bad.

- Um, ahem? - The longer Dopey and Jumpy

are in the wrong universe, the likelier they are

to cause an anomaly, which will put us on M.O.M.'s radar.

[vampire] I know I keep saying this,

but have we tried taking all of their blood out?

For real, guys. Ahem!

- What? - [all] What?

Okay, first off, you should probably know our names,

because we're your students.

Yeah, and more importantly,

we have several thousand questions.

- Guys... - What-?

What do you want to know?

- Are we dead? - What is going on?

Why do you look like a disco gladiator?

[Davey] Why are those shorts so short?

- I can see- - Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Can we do hands up, please? Go ahead.

Hi, yeah. Where are we?

Universe 2506.

- As opposed to...? - Your universe,

or any of the other billions in existence.

Oh, I'm sorry, you just said an extreme thing

extremely casually.

All right, 101. Here we go.

Human existence is made of countless parallel universes,

each with the same finite amount of matter,

but in infinitely different configurations.

Now, each of these parallel universes...

...resulting in an interconnected...

...infinitesimally concurrent, a.k.a., the multiverse.

We following so far?

[both] No!

So you're from Universe 6689,

but a version of you exists in every other universe.

Wait, so there's another Davey and Jonesie

here in this universe?

No, that's not what I said.

Every universe has a finite amount of matter,

and you're occupying matter at this moment, right?

You're occupying matter at this moment, right?

And so when you arrived,

- they just ceased to be. - [Jonesie] Okay.

So back in our universe, 66...whatever...

nobody's concerned or sad that we're not-?

No. Not after what we did.

- [alarm rings] - [all scream]

Oof. Yeah.

[Mr. Schneider] When entities like you

jump into another universe,

their home universe is frozen

until such time as its missing matter is returned.

It's a protocol. It's enforced by M.O.M.

Wait, your mom is involved in this?

Okay, you baby.

No, it's an organization that...

Why am I explaining this to you? It doesn't matter.

What matters is that we get you to your home universe

before anyone in this one realizes

you're not supposed to be here.

[woman, over P.A.] President appreciation

will begin in five minutes.

Anyone with information about the resistance,

speak to your nearest gem superior.

- What is that? - My gem what?

I know this is probably pretty overwhelming

for your unformed teenage brains,

but if you just let me get to work,

I can return you to the exact moment you left.

- [pounding on door] - [man] Faculty. Open up.

[shushing]

Put these on. Put these on right now.

- It's rules of the universe. - [Jonesie] This is creepy.

- [Davey] Is this polyester? - [pounding continuous]

- [doorknob jiggling] - [man] Faculty.

Yes. Just one- One mere, uh, moment.

No one can suspect you're not from this universe,

or the consequences will be catastrophic, understand?

[Davey] I don't know, our teenage brains are so...

Your Grace.

Your Excellencies.

Oh, I am loving this.

[inhales sharply]

The president wishes to see you.

Please allow me to escort you to the gym.

Okay. Yes.

[Mr. Schneider] Whatever happens, blend in.

We're the CEOs of blending in.

After you, you tall glass of blue Gatorade.

Mommy thirsty.

[chuckles]

Don't say "Mommy thirsty."

[dramatic music playing]

[inhales]

[sighs]

[Davey] Do you feel like we're weirdly important here?

- [Jonesie] Dude, yeah. - [Davey] I'm kind of into it.

[Jonesie] I say we just stay here forever.

[both laugh]

I take it back.

[Davey] Is that Sierra?

Davey. Jonesie. There you are. We've been looking everywhere.

I'm sorry, are we supposed to bow to Sierra?

I physically don't know if I can.

[Sierra] Come. Sit.

Hi.

[doors close]

[Jonesie] Oh, that is a yellow yellow.

It's a great color. It's a great color.

[Jonesie] Hmm.

[both] Oh!

- Oh, I'm watching my figure. - Yeah.

I'm more of a Jell-O gal. Thank you.

- All right, people. - [Davey] Okay.

All the orange people seem to be scrubbing.

Hi.

Okay, so Schneider says we're supposed to blend in,

or else something bad will happen.

I don't know. It was so unclear.

- I didn't even know he was talking to us... - No idea.

[clears throat]

Your Excellencies.

[chuckles] Excellencies.

[Davey] You and me.

Yeah, that's us.

Let president appreciation begin.

All hail President Sierra.

- [applause] - All hail President Sierra.

All hail President Sierra!

[all] All hail Sierra.

- All hail Sierra. - Oh, God.

- No. - All hail Sierra.

Hey, I finished scanning the portal,

and it appears their inferior DNA...

- DNA. - ...damaged its operating systems.

Interrupting Schneider. We've talked about this.

- About raising our- - Hands? I know.

But we could code the portal to their DNA signature and-

And reverse-engineer their coordinates.

Wow, who's interrupting Schneider now?

- I'm putting you on mute. - [no audio]

Yes. This could work.

Or instantly incinerate them.

Yeah, it's worth a shot.

[powering off]

- [all] All hail Sierra. - [applause]

All hail Sierra. All hail Sierra.

- All hai- - You were right.

Five minutes is too short. Let's up it to ten tomorrow.

Mm-hmm.

Your royal pres- Presidentness.

Is that any way to address your best friend?

Right. Sierra.

- President Sierra. - President Sierra.

Hi. Um, so...

Jonesie and I were just talking about

how we can't get enough of the story

of how you came to be, of all people,

the unquestioned ruler and president

of the school.

[all gasp]

Well, it is a great story.

Schrodinger High was in chaos.

Directionless. Savage.

Then you two

helped me overthrow the usurper president...

[laughs]

♪ Dangerous ♪

...Alexis.

Still cool.

And I imposed the Order of the Gem

so everyone would know their place

and we would all live in peace.

Except for the resistance.

- What was that? - Nothing...

- Your Excellence. - Yeah.

- Refreshments? - Mm-hmm.

Refreshments for the president!

Hmm.

This fish stick is cold.

[Mark stammers]

It was a mistake.

It was a mistake. They'll go on.

Fool.

You know fish sticks don't reheat well.

Gem reassignment!

No. No.

I'm a red! I've always been red!

No!

[sobs] No!

[all] In gem, we trust.

In truth, we gem.

In gem, we trust. In truth, we gem.

In gem, we trust.

In truth, we gem.

[Mark] I don't want to be an orange!

[Sierra] Can we get more refreshments?

So the gems are magic?

No. Yes.

[stutters] Or he just did a quick change in a circle of his peers

while actively weeping.

[laughs nervously]

[low murmuring]

President Sierra.

An orange?

How dare you approach the throne in this manner?

What business do you have with me?

Only this.

For the resistance!

[wails]

No!

[sobbing]

Well? Do your jobs.

Capture the infidel and take her to gem reeducation.

Oh, that's our job.

- Yup, that's infidel... - More running.

Here we go. All right, let's go.

[suspenseful music playing]

You'll never stop the resistance, you pink pigs!

- God, I hate us in this world. - You know what?

Forget it. I can't take it anymore, okay?

We don't actually care about any of this.

We're not cheap-

[screams]

[Jonesie] What is wrong?

The gem, it didn't explode,

and your face hasn't melted,

and your butt hasn't fallen off.

- What? - No, but Sierra said-

No, listening to Sierra was your first problem.

[Mr. Schneider] There you go. Other one.

Tell me you've been blending in.

Oh, yeah. We haven't done or said anything weird for sure.

Okay. Is your gem okay?

Oh, uh, it's just chafing.

Oh, yeah. It'll do that.

- Just one sec... - Ow!

- What was that for? - I needed a sample of your DNA

in order to- Doesn't matter. You're not gonna understand the science.

The point is, you're going home.

Home?

Mr. Schneider. Yes, uh, hi.

We were thinking, yeah,

just top of the head here,

what if we went back, like, 20 minutes

before we were sent in the portal?

Just, like, for a fun experiment.

Yeah, not an option.

Okay, well, we're just in a spot of hot water.

Girls, do you ever listen?

Do you ever just do what someone tells you?

You are going home,

where things will reset at the exact moment you left.

And that's final.

[mob shouting]

I have to use the toilet.

Uh, I too have to use the toilet.

Gross. Fine. Just meet me in my lab.

I guess that's it.

Separate classes,

and probably separate schools.

Psst. Psst. In here.

The resistance welcomes you.

[Davey] Question:

how do you feel about spending our last moments

before we're permanently separated

toppling a dictatorship with our life-long enemy

out of town?

Stop flirting with me.

[all laugh]

[dramatic music playing]

[computer] Possible delinquents detected.

Accept case file 6689?

Yes.

Case file active.

[sighs]

Searching for anomaly.

Ah.

[Davey] Who knew this school had such an intricate vent system?

File that away for later.

God.

[indistinct murmuring]

Leader, we have new recruits.

They're not who we thought they were.

Joyce?

Well, well, well.

Never thought we'd get pinks down here.

You survived de-gemification.

We're impressed. They say it's agonizing.

It's literally just a plastic sticker on a cloth necklace.

You can take it off, like, anytime.

Hmm.

Ah!

[all gasp]

[laughs]

Welcome to the resistance, sisters.

Let me fill you in on the plan.

Joyce in this world rules.

[Jonesie] Okay, uh, so you want to release

a small amount of ants...

Twelve. Twelve ants.

Twelve ants into the gym

so that you can use the ensuing chaos

to steal a piece of chalk,

so you can then write a message on the outer wall of the school

that says...

"Joyce."

Yup.

And you think that this is going to do something?

Lots.

I take it back.

Joyce in this world is still just Joyce.

Hey!

The leader worked hard on this plan.

- Not really. - Yeah.

Hmm.

Well, we don't want

to step on any toes here,

but, uh, protesting the status quo

is kind of our whole thing.

May we propose an alt?

Where are Davey and Jonesie?

[door opens]

[boy] Oh, my gosh.

[indistinct murmuring]

[Davey] Move it, everybody.

This is a protest.

Some really cool things are about to happen

that might change your perspective and mind.

What is the meaning of this?

Hit it!

[funky music playing]

♪ You make no ♪

♪ You make no sense ♪

♪ You make no ♪

♪ You make no sense ♪

♪ You, you ♪

♪ You make no sense at all ♪

♪ You make no ♪

♪ You make no sense ♪

♪ I said you, you ♪

♪ You make no sense at all ♪

♪ You make no ♪

♪ You make no sense ♪

♪ You make no ♪

♪ You make no sense ♪

♪ You make no ♪

♪ You make no sense ♪

♪ You make no ♪

♪ You make no sense ♪

♪ You make no ♪

♪ You make no sense ♪

♪ You make no ♪

♪ You make no sense ♪

♪ I said you ♪

♪ You make no sense ♪

[all gasp]

Do you think it landed this time?

Do you think they finally got the subtext of our dance?

We're...

all sheep!

- [shrieks] - No, no, no, no! No, no.

The subtext that we've all been brainwashed.

It's all right here!

[Davey] Yes, come on.

And the finale, it was an obvious clarion call

to cast off the systems that seek to divide us.

He just said "clarion call."

I knew that the choreography spoke for itself.

- [girl] Yes. - [Davey] Take them off.

- [girl] Yes. - [Davey] Take those off!

Stop! Don't listen to them!

- [Jonesie] Think for yourselves! - No! Stop it!

- [loud chatter] - I'm the president.

Their dance was dumb. Those were barely moves.

Joyce!

Give 'em hell.

- For the resistance! - Charge!

[all shouting]

Whoo!

Ah!

[cackles]

[all yelling]

[rock music playing]

Davey! Jonesie! You're dead!

I hate the color green!

There's no denying it.

We are good at everything.

Oh, yes.

[computer] Anomaly detected.

Well, that didn't take long.

One last case.

Here we go.

[kids shouting]

Davey! Jonesie! You call this blending in?

We call it an improvement.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

[gasps]

Uh, we have to go now. We have to go now.

- Let's go. Let's go. - Wait, who is that?

- It's no one. Just go, go! Now! - [Davey] Okay!

Do you have any idea what you've done?

- What is wrong with you? - What is wrong with you?

How could you stand to live in a world that sucked this much?

I couldn't.

That's why we Schneiders built the portal.

And the sooner you go through it,

the sooner we can go through it ourselves,

if there's still time.

[laughs] Okay! Yes. All right, there you go.

Okay, we're sorry if we ruined your weird plans or whatever.

But for what it's worth, we dug going through the portal.

- So, thank you. - Yeah.

Yeah, okay. Yeah, you're- You're welcome.

Are you ready to go back to our boring existence

where everybody hates us, and we'll be separated forever?

No.

But at least we got a chance to experience a world

where our vision was appreciated for once.

Okay, bye-bye. Off you go.

Go, go.

[percussive psychedelic music playing]

[electric music playing]

[alarm buzzes]

- No. - [sizzling]

Oh, no.

[woman] Hello, Stephen.

[Mr. Schneider] Cheryl?

Whatever brings you to my humble universe?

Not making small talk with you.

Where are the delinquents?

I have no idea what you're talking about.

What are you doing?

No, no, no, no.

You can't do this. You have no proof.

Since when do you care about following protocol?

These girls are chaotic. They don't listen.

I did everything I could to prevent an anomaly.

Enjoy G.R.A.N.D.M.A.'s.

[both gasp]

Did it work?

Anybody home?

[Jonesie] Where is everyone?

[Mr. Schneider] Bad news, turns out we have no idea

how to get you home.

You don't belong here.

♪ Point panic ♪

- I'm actually good with this. - Yeah, this works.

[surfer rock music playing]

[rock music playing]

[laughter]

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