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00:00:04,797 --> 00:00:07,842
♪ ("CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM"
THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
2
00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:11,971
♪ (THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
3
00:00:12,013 --> 00:00:13,806
-(GRUNTS)
-♪ (MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
4
00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:17,810
(GRUNTS) Yeah, that's it.
That's the spot. That's good.
5
00:00:17,852 --> 00:00:20,021
-Cheryl tight same spot.
-Yeah.
6
00:00:20,063 --> 00:00:23,691
-Only Chunhua can fix.
-All right. I hope so.
7
00:00:23,775 --> 00:00:27,278
Cheryl so nice. She's so pretty.
8
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:30,698
Cheryl too good for you!
(LAUGHS)
9
00:00:30,740 --> 00:00:34,410
And Ted Danson.
He's handsome and flexible.
10
00:00:34,494 --> 00:00:36,996
-Oh, really?
-CHUNHUA: Yes.
11
00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:39,290
Don't be jealous!
12
00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:42,293
You brittle like wood!
You are so skinny.
13
00:00:42,377 --> 00:00:44,837
-Why you no eat?
-I eat. I eat plenty.
14
00:00:44,879 --> 00:00:46,547
Your skin so dry.
15
00:00:46,589 --> 00:00:48,800
-You drink water?
-Yeah, I drink water.
16
00:00:48,883 --> 00:00:50,093
Not enough!
17
00:00:50,176 --> 00:00:52,553
(SPLUTTERS, SCOFFS) This is...
18
00:00:55,014 --> 00:00:57,183
Oh, yeah, that's good.
I like that.
19
00:00:57,225 --> 00:00:59,102
-That's nice.
-Finish!
20
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-♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪
-LARRY DAVID: Huh? That's it?
21
00:01:01,813 --> 00:01:03,022
What about this?
22
00:01:03,064 --> 00:01:04,398
You're done?
23
00:01:05,775 --> 00:01:07,610
You want happy ending?
24
00:01:07,693 --> 00:01:09,237
No, I don't--
(CHUCKLES) Happy end--
25
00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:10,613
No. You've only done 35 minutes.
26
00:01:10,696 --> 00:01:13,408
-I paid for an hour.
-No! No, no, no, no.
27
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-I don't want a happy ending!
-No! No, no happy ending!
28
00:01:16,411 --> 00:01:18,121
I don't want a happy ending!
I just want an ending!
29
00:01:18,204 --> 00:01:20,248
-No, no, no. I no happy ending!
-Are you nuts?
30
00:01:20,331 --> 00:01:22,291
-What are you doing?
-You mess with wrong person.
31
00:01:22,375 --> 00:01:24,711
♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
32
00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:26,212
(SIGHS)
33
00:01:26,295 --> 00:01:29,549
The woman's out of her mind.
That's all I said. "That's it?"
34
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She gave me 35 minutes.
35
00:01:31,384 --> 00:01:32,677
You know, and the whole massage
she's going...
36
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:34,219
(IMITATES CHUNHUA)
"Oh, you too skinny.
37
00:01:34,262 --> 00:01:35,972
You need to eat.
You have bad skin."
38
00:01:36,055 --> 00:01:37,223
So, she's insulting you
the whole time--
39
00:01:37,265 --> 00:01:38,599
She's insulting me
the whole time,
40
00:01:38,683 --> 00:01:40,810
and then she threatens me
at the end
41
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for something I didn't even do.
42
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-That's scary shit.
-LARRY: Scary.
43
00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:44,939
I'm a little nervous.
You know, she's...
44
00:01:44,981 --> 00:01:46,941
-she's kind of off her rocker.
-JEFF GREENE: You know what?
45
00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:49,026
Cheryl was always talking
about her,
46
00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:50,278
but I never used her.
47
00:01:50,319 --> 00:01:51,528
I had a hunch about her.
48
00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,573
If you had a hunch,
why didn't you say something?
49
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:56,534
Well, a hunch can be wrong,
so I keep my hunches to myself.
50
00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:58,326
LARRY: No. A hunch is something
that's shared.
51
00:01:58,411 --> 00:02:00,204
Otherwise, it's just a thought
in your head.
52
00:02:00,288 --> 00:02:02,331
A hunch is like a sneeze,
gotta let that shit out.
53
00:02:02,415 --> 00:02:04,333
-Exactly. Eleanor Roosevelt...
-Yeah?
54
00:02:04,417 --> 00:02:05,752
...what if she had a hunch
about Pearl Harbor?
55
00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:07,336
Is she supposed to keep that
to herself,
56
00:02:07,420 --> 00:02:08,587
or should she tell her husband?
57
00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:09,796
(IMITATES ELEANOR ROOSEVELT)
"Franklin,
58
00:02:09,881 --> 00:02:12,717
I have a very bad feeling
that something awful
59
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:15,720
is going to happen
at Pearl Harbor tomorrow.
60
00:02:15,762 --> 00:02:17,180
You must get the ships out."
61
00:02:17,263 --> 00:02:19,432
Could you imagine if she told
Franklin the day after?
62
00:02:19,474 --> 00:02:20,933
(IMITATES ELEANOR) "Franklin,
I had a hunch about that."
63
00:02:20,975 --> 00:02:23,144
(IMITATES FRANKLIN ROOSEVELT)
"Eleanor, you stupid twat."
64
00:02:23,186 --> 00:02:25,063
(CHUCKLES)
"Why didn't you say something?"
65
00:02:25,104 --> 00:02:27,106
-You're rewriting history.
-You had no hunch.
66
00:02:27,190 --> 00:02:28,357
No, you didn't have
no fucking hunch. Know why?
67
00:02:28,441 --> 00:02:29,817
'Cause your fucking shoulders
didn't go up.
68
00:02:29,901 --> 00:02:30,902
Your shoulders didn't move.
69
00:02:30,985 --> 00:02:33,196
And that mannerism's
only good for hunches and shit.
70
00:02:33,279 --> 00:02:34,322
See? I had a hunch.
71
00:02:34,405 --> 00:02:36,365
You can't use that shit
for, "Fuck you."
72
00:02:36,449 --> 00:02:37,742
Or, you know,
"You cheated on me.
73
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:39,577
You ain't shit.
Don't come back here no more."
74
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:41,579
-It's exclusive to the hunch?
-LEON BLACK: Fuck yeah, it is.
75
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:42,830
You don't use that shit
nowhere else.
76
00:02:42,914 --> 00:02:45,291
Gentlemen. How's everything
tasting over here?
77
00:02:45,333 --> 00:02:47,168
-I'm the owner.
-Great salad.
78
00:02:47,210 --> 00:02:48,461
Are you Ollie or Al?
79
00:02:48,503 --> 00:02:51,255
Actually, those are made up
deli owner characters.
80
00:02:51,339 --> 00:02:53,508
-My name is Lorenzo.
-Oh, okay.
81
00:02:53,591 --> 00:02:54,842
LORENZO: Let me know
if you need anything, huh?
82
00:02:54,884 --> 00:02:55,676
-Thank you.
-LARRY: Will do.
83
00:02:55,718 --> 00:02:57,428
Fucking berries
are fucking delicious.
84
00:02:57,512 --> 00:02:58,638
You know what they say,
the darker the berry,
85
00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:00,681
-the sweeter the juice.
-What do they say?
86
00:03:00,723 --> 00:03:03,059
Darker the berry,
meaning the darker you are,
87
00:03:03,142 --> 00:03:04,977
-the sweeter your juice is.
-What?
88
00:03:05,019 --> 00:03:06,813
If a cannibal ate me,
that motherfucker would be like,
89
00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:08,773
"Mm! (SMACKS LIPS) Wow,
this motherfucker's delicious."
90
00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:11,150
You're saying that cannibals
prefer Black people
91
00:03:11,192 --> 00:03:12,693
-to White people?
-Fuck yeah, they do.
92
00:03:12,777 --> 00:03:15,488
I think he's got a point,
'cause Dahmer mostly ate
93
00:03:15,530 --> 00:03:17,573
-Black people, did he not?
-Yep. He did.
94
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If the motherfucker did,
he'd have to add
95
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condiments on you motherfuckers.
96
00:03:20,618 --> 00:03:21,702
-Like, shit... (MUTTERS)
-LARRY: Yeah.
97
00:03:21,786 --> 00:03:23,538
Yeah, you need condiments
for White people.
98
00:03:23,579 --> 00:03:26,874
Hey. Ho-ho-ho-ho.
I got some great news.
99
00:03:26,916 --> 00:03:29,502
I got a call from
Bruce Springsteen's manager.
100
00:03:29,544 --> 00:03:33,256
Bruce Springsteen is coming
to town on his farewell tour,
101
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and he wants to meet you.
102
00:03:36,342 --> 00:03:38,261
-He wants to meet me?
-Yeah.
103
00:03:38,344 --> 00:03:39,721
-What?
-JEFF: Yeah.
104
00:03:39,804 --> 00:03:40,805
Wow.
105
00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:43,391
He was really moved
by you taking on that voter law.
106
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(CHUCKLES)
Get the hell out of here.
107
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-Are you good with that?
-LARRY: Yeah.
108
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Great. It's exciting.
I'll call his manager.
109
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-(CHUCKLES)
-Fantastic.
110
00:03:49,355 --> 00:03:53,025
-The Boss.
-♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
111
00:04:11,419 --> 00:04:13,296
LARRY: Hey,
what if I walked like this?
112
00:04:13,379 --> 00:04:14,422
You start walking like that,
man,
113
00:04:14,505 --> 00:04:15,882
they gotta give you
your own fucking lane.
114
00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:17,425
That way it won't throw regular
motherfuckers off. You know?
115
00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:19,302
-This is, like, good exercise.
-Yeah.
116
00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:21,429
-And I'm making progress.
-I like that shit.
117
00:04:21,512 --> 00:04:22,638
-Huh?
-You're moving along,
118
00:04:22,722 --> 00:04:24,098
people see it,
everybody'll start doing it.
119
00:04:24,182 --> 00:04:25,433
It could catch on.
120
00:04:25,475 --> 00:04:27,018
And then they'll add you
to the evolution of man chart.
121
00:04:27,101 --> 00:04:28,644
-(LAUGHS)
-Like motherfuckers who walk normal,
122
00:04:28,728 --> 00:04:29,937
-and then all of a sudden,
at the end... -Yeah.
123
00:04:30,021 --> 00:04:31,647
...like modern day motherfuckers
walk like this.
124
00:04:31,731 --> 00:04:33,441
-(LAUGHS) Right.
-Next thing you know. You see?
125
00:04:33,483 --> 00:04:34,776
You go down in history. (LAUGHS)
126
00:04:34,859 --> 00:04:36,903
Shit.
Let's get the fuck out of here.
127
00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:39,030
-Fuck you doing, man?
-Trying to get the zipper up.
128
00:04:39,113 --> 00:04:40,615
-(CAR DOOR SHUTS)
-LEON: Do that shit in the car, man.
129
00:04:40,698 --> 00:04:42,283
It's easier to do it standing.
130
00:04:42,325 --> 00:04:43,868
-You gotta jiggle it.
-Yeah, I'm jiggling.
131
00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:46,496
-You ain't jiggling right.
-What is it with these zippers?
132
00:04:46,579 --> 00:04:49,457
-You're not a good jiggler.
-(LAUGHS) Larry.
133
00:04:49,540 --> 00:04:51,125
-Hey, Les.
-How's it going?
134
00:04:51,209 --> 00:04:53,836
Eh, you know, I can't get this
zipper up here, but whatever.
135
00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:55,880
I haven't seen you
since Young Larry.
136
00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:58,466
Yeah. Oh, hey, Leon,
this is Les McCrabb.
137
00:04:58,549 --> 00:05:01,302
He directed two
of the Young Larry episodes.
138
00:05:01,344 --> 00:05:02,637
-My man.
-LES MCCRABB: Anyway,
139
00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:03,971
I just wanna tell you
that my episodes
140
00:05:04,013 --> 00:05:05,223
have had tremendous feedback.
141
00:05:05,306 --> 00:05:06,974
People have been saying
they don't look like
142
00:05:07,058 --> 00:05:08,309
any of the other episodes.
143
00:05:08,351 --> 00:05:10,144
Yeah, they did have a-- a--
144
00:05:10,228 --> 00:05:11,312
a distinctive look.
145
00:05:11,354 --> 00:05:13,523
I only ended up doing
the two episodes,
146
00:05:13,606 --> 00:05:17,068
-but I'd love to do some more.
-Oh. Um, well--
147
00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:19,487
Between you and I, I think
I'm gonna be busy anyway.
148
00:05:19,570 --> 00:05:22,740
I'm in talks about this, um,
Waze app feature.
149
00:05:22,824 --> 00:05:24,492
A movie, uh,
based on the Waze app?
150
00:05:24,575 --> 00:05:25,868
-LES: Yeah.
-Okay.
151
00:05:25,952 --> 00:05:28,037
-Ron Howard's people.
-LARRY: Uh-huh.
152
00:05:28,121 --> 00:05:29,330
A guy called Jeff Donat.
153
00:05:29,372 --> 00:05:31,207
-Jeff Donat.
-Right. Jeff Donat.
154
00:05:31,290 --> 00:05:32,333
-Jeff Donat.
-LES: Yes,
155
00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:33,625
he's in charge
of the whole thing.
156
00:05:33,668 --> 00:05:35,086
-Do you know him?
-Don't think so. No.
157
00:05:35,169 --> 00:05:38,506
I'm told he's way up there.
He works with Ken Puffin.
158
00:05:38,548 --> 00:05:40,341
-Nice.
-Sounds like a good idea?
159
00:05:40,383 --> 00:05:41,551
No. Not really.
160
00:05:41,634 --> 00:05:42,719
I didn't really wanna talk
about that.
161
00:05:42,802 --> 00:05:45,680
What I do wanna talk about
is my manuscript.
162
00:05:47,306 --> 00:05:48,349
Hang A Lantern On It.
163
00:05:48,433 --> 00:05:49,517
-LES: Hang A Lantern On It.
-Yes.
164
00:05:49,559 --> 00:05:52,186
-Did you like it?
-Oh, uh, I loved it.
165
00:05:52,270 --> 00:05:53,604
Which bit did you like the best?
166
00:05:53,688 --> 00:05:55,189
Yeah, I-- I mean, there were--
167
00:05:55,273 --> 00:05:56,482
Oh, my God, there's so many.
168
00:05:56,524 --> 00:05:59,193
We need to talk about it
because I need your opinions
169
00:05:59,235 --> 00:06:00,528
before it goes
to the publishers.
170
00:06:00,570 --> 00:06:02,113
So, it'd be great
if you could give me
171
00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:03,281
any ideas that you have.
172
00:06:03,364 --> 00:06:04,741
Yeah, well, no,
we'll discuss the book.
173
00:06:04,824 --> 00:06:05,992
It's great. (CHUCKLES)
It really is.
174
00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:08,077
Well, we could now.
I mean, there's a seat here.
175
00:06:08,161 --> 00:06:09,412
You know what?
I can't do it now.
176
00:06:09,495 --> 00:06:12,832
I-- I-- You know, um,
I gotta take my friend.
177
00:06:12,874 --> 00:06:14,542
He's getting a, uh,
shingles vaccine.
178
00:06:14,584 --> 00:06:17,295
-We're kind of late. So...
-Does he have shingles?
179
00:06:17,378 --> 00:06:18,796
No, no,
it's to prevent the shingles.
180
00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:21,049
It's just recommended.
You should get one too.
181
00:06:21,090 --> 00:06:24,469
Well, you should get one.
You know what shingles means?
182
00:06:24,552 --> 00:06:25,678
-It's herpes.
-LARRY: Oh!
183
00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:27,221
-What the fuck?
-Okay. Yeah.
184
00:06:27,305 --> 00:06:28,473
And you've been sat
in the car with him?
185
00:06:28,556 --> 00:06:29,640
He doesn't have it.
186
00:06:29,724 --> 00:06:31,184
I wouldn't get back in that car.
187
00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:32,351
Wait a fucking minute.
188
00:06:32,393 --> 00:06:34,312
-It can kill men your age.
-Food for thought.
189
00:06:34,395 --> 00:06:36,230
Thing is, Larry,
time is of the essence
190
00:06:36,272 --> 00:06:37,774
with this book.
I'm about to go away,
191
00:06:37,857 --> 00:06:40,151
and where I'm going,
there's no mobile phone,
192
00:06:40,193 --> 00:06:41,402
so I'll be off the grid,
as they say.
193
00:06:41,486 --> 00:06:43,196
-Oh. Where are you going?
-A yoga retreat.
194
00:06:43,237 --> 00:06:45,239
I plan to get
a complete clear out.
195
00:06:45,323 --> 00:06:46,532
Have you had
a complete clear out?
196
00:06:46,574 --> 00:06:47,658
No. What is a clear out?
197
00:06:47,742 --> 00:06:49,410
Let's just say
it's a very delicate matter
198
00:06:49,494 --> 00:06:51,954
where nothing is left
to the imagination.
199
00:06:52,038 --> 00:06:53,081
I'm imagining.
200
00:06:53,164 --> 00:06:55,666
There's an old saying at home,
"Every hole is a goal."
201
00:06:55,750 --> 00:06:56,667
Mm.
202
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,169
Do you want a hand
with this zipper?
203
00:06:58,252 --> 00:06:59,295
-Oh.
-LES: Hold this.
204
00:06:59,379 --> 00:07:01,422
What?
Uh, you don't really have to.
205
00:07:01,464 --> 00:07:02,715
-No, I don't mind at all.
-Les. Uh, Les.
206
00:07:02,757 --> 00:07:04,384
-You gotta jiggle that shit.
-There we go.
207
00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:05,635
-Oh. Oh, wow.
-(CHUCKLES) Whoa.
208
00:07:05,718 --> 00:07:07,678
-(CHUCKLES) Hey! Look at that.
-There we are. Yeah.
209
00:07:07,762 --> 00:07:10,014
-Good job there, Les. Yeah.
-Look. Don't forget to call me.
210
00:07:10,098 --> 00:07:12,266
-I'm only here for a week.
-Motherfucker.
211
00:07:12,350 --> 00:07:13,434
Absolutely. I'll call you.
212
00:07:13,518 --> 00:07:14,811
LEON: Hey, go fuck yourself,
Crabby. Jeez.
213
00:07:14,894 --> 00:07:16,479
Oh, my God.
That's the last guy in the world
214
00:07:16,562 --> 00:07:18,314
-I wanted to run into.
-What was that, man?
215
00:07:18,398 --> 00:07:20,358
He's the worst director
we ever had.
216
00:07:20,441 --> 00:07:21,609
I'd never hire him again.
217
00:07:21,651 --> 00:07:23,152
-You read his book?
-No, I didn't read his book.
218
00:07:23,236 --> 00:07:24,695
But you know what?
Now I have to.
219
00:07:24,779 --> 00:07:26,614
If you weren't spending
so much time on the zipper,
220
00:07:26,656 --> 00:07:28,157
we would've been fucking out
of here by now.
221
00:07:28,241 --> 00:07:29,283
It's true.
The zipper delayed me.
222
00:07:29,325 --> 00:07:31,160
We would've been gone.
I never would've run into him.
223
00:07:31,244 --> 00:07:33,329
And being feeble
didn't allow you
224
00:07:33,413 --> 00:07:35,623
to fucking get that zipper
back on track.
225
00:07:35,665 --> 00:07:36,707
Wait... Wait a second.
Wait a second.
226
00:07:36,791 --> 00:07:38,500
So you're saying
that I couldn't get
227
00:07:38,584 --> 00:07:40,920
that zipper up
because I'm enfeebled?
228
00:07:40,962 --> 00:07:42,880
Feeble motherfuckers don't
even know they fucking feeble.
229
00:07:42,964 --> 00:07:44,507
-Okay, you know what?
-LEON: Hmm?
230
00:07:44,590 --> 00:07:45,633
When we get back to the house,
231
00:07:45,717 --> 00:07:46,968
you're gonna put
this sweater on.
232
00:07:47,051 --> 00:07:48,636
I wanna see you put
that zipper up.
233
00:07:48,678 --> 00:07:49,887
I'll zip it up.
You know how many times
234
00:07:49,971 --> 00:07:51,472
I've had to throw my pants
on real quick?
235
00:07:51,514 --> 00:07:53,599
-Bullshit.
-And the lady's husband shows up
236
00:07:53,641 --> 00:07:54,684
or her boyfriend shows up,
237
00:07:54,767 --> 00:07:55,768
I gotta put that motherfucker
on quick.
238
00:07:55,810 --> 00:07:57,603
I never derail.
You got zipper karma.
239
00:07:57,645 --> 00:08:00,148
You fuck with the zipper,
and the zipper fuck with you.
240
00:08:00,231 --> 00:08:02,859
LARRY: Ah, can't believe
I gotta read that book now.
241
00:08:02,942 --> 00:08:06,779
♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
242
00:08:07,864 --> 00:08:08,990
-Oh, okay.
-♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
243
00:08:09,031 --> 00:08:10,408
You must be Larry's new lawyer,
huh?
244
00:08:10,491 --> 00:08:12,118
Mm-hmm. I'm Sibby Sanders.
245
00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:13,578
Hey, Sibby. Good to meet you.
246
00:08:13,661 --> 00:08:16,330
-Yeah. My name's Leon Black.
-Hi, Leon.
247
00:08:16,414 --> 00:08:17,582
I like that lipstick you got on.
248
00:08:17,665 --> 00:08:18,666
-Thank you.
-LEON: Yeah.
249
00:08:18,750 --> 00:08:20,585
That shit's beautiful
on your mouth.
250
00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:22,462
-Hmm.
-Mm. What's it called?
251
00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:25,006
-It's called, "Don't go there."
-Okay.
252
00:08:25,048 --> 00:08:26,841
-Okay. I see what's up.
-SIBBY SANDERS: Mm-hmm.
253
00:08:26,883 --> 00:08:28,426
(LEON CHUCKLES)
You need anything?
254
00:08:28,509 --> 00:08:29,802
-SIBBY: No, I'm good. Thank you.
-LEON: Yeah.
255
00:08:29,844 --> 00:08:30,845
Let me ask you a question.
256
00:08:30,928 --> 00:08:32,179
In that bungalow
I got back there,
257
00:08:32,263 --> 00:08:35,015
I had a lot of hit and runs.
You know what I'm saying?
258
00:08:35,099 --> 00:08:36,851
So, if you ever wanna get
in an accident,
259
00:08:36,893 --> 00:08:40,688
that could be, uh, T-boned,
sideswiped, head on,
260
00:08:40,730 --> 00:08:42,774
or rear ended. You feel me?
261
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,567
-Mm-hmm.
-(LEON CHUCKLES)
262
00:08:44,650 --> 00:08:48,488
Well, look at you.
You look great.
263
00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:50,031
(CHUCKLES) Really?
It's not me. It's just, uh--
264
00:08:50,114 --> 00:08:52,200
-SIBBY: I love it.
-The jury's not gonna buy this.
265
00:08:52,283 --> 00:08:54,702
-SIBBY: It's perfect.
-They're gonna see through this act.
266
00:08:54,786 --> 00:08:56,204
-I feel like a phony.
-How does he look?
267
00:08:56,245 --> 00:08:58,664
Like a mortician. Like you 'bout
to bury a motherfucker.
268
00:08:58,706 --> 00:09:01,000
-Don't listen to him, Larry.
-So you guys have met?
269
00:09:01,042 --> 00:09:02,668
You ever have hot chocolate
in the house again,
270
00:09:02,710 --> 00:09:04,045
you let me know.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah.
271
00:09:04,128 --> 00:09:06,172
We got a little pending hit
and run case we're working on.
272
00:09:06,214 --> 00:09:08,216
-You know? (CLEARS THROAT)
-Okay. Get the fuck out of here.
273
00:09:08,257 --> 00:09:09,884
-Get lost.
-See you later.
274
00:09:09,967 --> 00:09:10,968
He lives here?
275
00:09:11,052 --> 00:09:12,553
Yeah. I'm so sorry.
But I don't know what he said,
276
00:09:12,595 --> 00:09:13,721
but I'm sure it wasn't pleasant.
277
00:09:13,805 --> 00:09:15,181
I'm used to it. It's okay.
278
00:09:15,223 --> 00:09:18,476
So, the trial is in a few weeks,
and it's gonna be more about you
279
00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:20,353
and how you're perceived
than the facts.
280
00:09:20,395 --> 00:09:22,480
The facts are indisputable.
You gave her the water.
281
00:09:22,563 --> 00:09:23,856
So it's gonna come down
to the jury saying,
282
00:09:23,898 --> 00:09:25,775
"Do we like Larry
or do we not like Larry?"
283
00:09:25,858 --> 00:09:27,693
Well, if it's coming down
to that...
284
00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:29,404
-Mm-hmm.
-...it's no contest.
285
00:09:29,445 --> 00:09:30,530
-Okay?
-That's right.
286
00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:32,156
-(DOORBELL RINGING)
-Not in that suit.
287
00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:35,243
-LARRY: Leon, will you get that?
-LEON: I got it!
288
00:09:35,326 --> 00:09:36,828
And in terms of being likable,
289
00:09:36,911 --> 00:09:38,621
you know what my mother used
to say?
290
00:09:38,704 --> 00:09:39,664
"What's not to like?"
291
00:09:39,747 --> 00:09:42,417
Larry, did you ask my masseuse
292
00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:44,085
-for a hand job?
-LARRY: What?
293
00:09:44,127 --> 00:09:44,919
Oh, shit.
294
00:09:45,002 --> 00:09:46,963
-LARRY: No!
-She's not a sex worker.
295
00:09:47,046 --> 00:09:48,506
She's a masseuse.
She's a professional woman.
296
00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:50,758
-Never, never did that. No.
-Larry.
297
00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:52,844
-Is this true?
-I didn't do that, okay?
298
00:09:52,927 --> 00:09:54,095
-She misinter--
-CHERYL HINES: It's so disrespectful.
299
00:09:54,178 --> 00:09:56,013
I didn't do that!
Cheryl, she misinter--
300
00:09:56,097 --> 00:09:57,890
-It's bullshit. This is--
-Hey, Larry. Don't talk to her like that.
301
00:09:57,932 --> 00:09:58,975
That's a woman right there.
302
00:09:59,058 --> 00:10:00,059
-No, that's not--
-Thank you.
303
00:10:00,101 --> 00:10:01,436
That's my ex-wife.
That's not a woman.
304
00:10:01,519 --> 00:10:02,979
-Yeah.
-By the way, I'm Cheryl.
305
00:10:03,062 --> 00:10:04,689
Sibby Sanders. I'm his lawyer.
306
00:10:04,772 --> 00:10:05,940
-Oh. Good luck.
-SIBBY: Mm-hmm.
307
00:10:05,982 --> 00:10:08,443
This whole thing's
a misunderstanding. Okay?
308
00:10:08,484 --> 00:10:12,321
She gave me a massage, and then
she stopped after 35 minutes,
309
00:10:12,405 --> 00:10:15,867
and I went, "That's it?"
And she misinterpreted it.
310
00:10:15,950 --> 00:10:18,661
True or not true,
this is an ugly accusation
311
00:10:18,745 --> 00:10:21,748
at the worst possible time.
You gotta fix this.
312
00:10:21,789 --> 00:10:23,291
You gotta handle this
before the trial.
313
00:10:23,332 --> 00:10:24,959
She is very upset, Larry.
314
00:10:26,127 --> 00:10:27,628
-(SIGHS)
-Maybe I should go over there
315
00:10:27,712 --> 00:10:29,797
and talk to her and make sure
she's even qualified
316
00:10:29,881 --> 00:10:31,299
to be giving hand jobs
to people.
317
00:10:31,340 --> 00:10:33,176
I don't think that's necessary.
318
00:10:34,552 --> 00:10:36,512
Does she like Bruce Springsteen?
319
00:10:36,596 --> 00:10:38,848
I-- Well-- Who doesn't like
Bruce Springsteen? (CHUCKLES)
320
00:10:38,931 --> 00:10:40,349
-I mean, I can ask her.
-LARRY: Okay. All right.
321
00:10:40,433 --> 00:10:41,684
I'm seeing him tomorrow.
322
00:10:41,768 --> 00:10:43,603
I could introduce her
to him, maybe.
323
00:10:43,644 --> 00:10:45,563
Why are you seeing
Bruce Springsteen?
324
00:10:45,605 --> 00:10:48,149
Eh, he wants to meet me
because of, uh, Atlanta.
325
00:10:48,232 --> 00:10:50,693
So you're gonna introduce her
to Bruce?
326
00:10:50,777 --> 00:10:52,028
You know, I'll try.
327
00:10:52,111 --> 00:10:54,197
Wow, that would be big.
That would be nice.
328
00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:57,408
-That would be really nice.
-And hopefully that'll fix it.
329
00:10:57,492 --> 00:10:58,659
And if Chunhua's gon' be there,
330
00:10:58,743 --> 00:11:01,746
then maybe Bruce Springsteen
would like a hand job.
331
00:11:01,829 --> 00:11:04,123
♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
332
00:11:18,471 --> 00:11:20,056
Oh, my God.
333
00:11:21,891 --> 00:11:24,852
He changed his rating
from a C to an A.
334
00:11:24,894 --> 00:11:26,229
-You're kidding me.
-♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
335
00:11:26,312 --> 00:11:27,271
And you saw him do it?
336
00:11:27,355 --> 00:11:29,690
-I saw him do it.
-He should've said B.
337
00:11:29,732 --> 00:11:31,818
If he said B,
it's not that far from A.
338
00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:33,945
-You'd eat in a B?
-A B? Yeah, I'd eat at a B.
339
00:11:34,028 --> 00:11:35,446
Springsteen eats at a B.
340
00:11:35,530 --> 00:11:36,864
-(LAUGHS)
-I'm shocked.
341
00:11:36,948 --> 00:11:38,699
I gotta tell you,
I'm completely shocked.
342
00:11:38,783 --> 00:11:39,826
-Well, B's not that bad.
-LARRY: Yeah.
343
00:11:39,867 --> 00:11:41,577
I've eaten at a thousand
and one Bs.
344
00:11:41,661 --> 00:11:43,579
LARRY: I mean, I'm eating here.
I don't even know what this is.
345
00:11:43,663 --> 00:11:44,914
What's the rating on this dump?
346
00:11:44,997 --> 00:11:47,208
Bruce, my house is an A-plus.
Trust me.
347
00:11:47,250 --> 00:11:49,043
-You know what I'm thinking?
-Hmm?
348
00:11:49,127 --> 00:11:50,712
I'm thinking I should call
the health department
349
00:11:50,795 --> 00:11:53,631
-on this restaurant.
-No, don't get involved.
350
00:11:53,715 --> 00:11:54,674
Why? Is that squealing?
351
00:11:54,716 --> 00:11:55,758
I don't even think
that's squealing.
352
00:11:55,842 --> 00:11:57,635
I don't know
if it's full-tilt squealing,
353
00:11:57,719 --> 00:11:59,303
but it's... it's squealish.
354
00:11:59,387 --> 00:12:00,805
You could be eating
in that restaurant,
355
00:12:00,888 --> 00:12:03,725
getting sick, and dying
because it's a C.
356
00:12:03,808 --> 00:12:04,767
I could've saved your life.
357
00:12:04,851 --> 00:12:06,144
I know one thing
about Larry David.
358
00:12:06,227 --> 00:12:08,730
Larry David is a man
that gets involved.
359
00:12:08,771 --> 00:12:10,356
Thank you, Boss.
May I call you Boss?
360
00:12:10,398 --> 00:12:11,733
-BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN: Yeah.
Sure, sure. -Eh.
361
00:12:11,774 --> 00:12:14,068
Hey, the thing in Georgia,
the balls it took
362
00:12:14,110 --> 00:12:15,862
to put yourself
in that situation.
363
00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:17,905
I told myself,
"I wanna meet Larry David.
364
00:12:17,989 --> 00:12:19,991
-This guy is a hero of mine."
-Thank you.
365
00:12:20,074 --> 00:12:21,242
SUSIE GREENE: Now, you know,
he knew the woman.
366
00:12:21,325 --> 00:12:23,578
It didn't take
a whole lot of balls, really.
367
00:12:23,619 --> 00:12:24,912
The woman in Atlanta?
368
00:12:24,954 --> 00:12:26,664
-SUSIE: Yeah. He knew her.
-That you gave the water to?
369
00:12:26,706 --> 00:12:27,832
Why don't you mind
your own fucking business?
370
00:12:27,915 --> 00:12:29,417
-Who cares?
-SUSIE: I'm just saying.
371
00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:31,002
-It's just a fact.
-JEFF: Talk about squealing.
372
00:12:31,085 --> 00:12:32,420
I still know
I'm getting arrested.
373
00:12:32,503 --> 00:12:33,254
I gave her the water.
374
00:12:33,296 --> 00:12:34,630
You knew
you were gonna be arrested?
375
00:12:34,714 --> 00:12:36,257
-Well, I knew it was
against the law. -(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
376
00:12:36,340 --> 00:12:38,301
-Yeah.
-JEFF: And you didn't care.
377
00:12:38,885 --> 00:12:40,803
(SIGHS) Les McCrabb.
378
00:12:40,887 --> 00:12:42,972
This guy sent me a manuscript
of his book.
379
00:12:43,056 --> 00:12:45,433
He asked me if I read it.
I said I did, I loved it,
380
00:12:45,475 --> 00:12:46,601
and now, he's calling me
381
00:12:46,684 --> 00:12:48,269
to have an in-depth conversation
about it.
382
00:12:48,352 --> 00:12:50,521
(LAUGHS) Same thing happened
to me.
383
00:12:50,605 --> 00:12:54,442
A musician gave me a demo
of a band that he liked
384
00:12:54,525 --> 00:12:55,693
and thought could go somewhere.
385
00:12:55,777 --> 00:12:58,112
I get the tape. I put it on
for two seconds, I took it off.
386
00:12:58,154 --> 00:12:59,864
-I never listened
to the rest of it. -Who was this?
387
00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:01,282
I don't wanna say.
You know, I mean, we're friends.
388
00:13:01,365 --> 00:13:02,658
-LARRY: Who was it?
-No, we're friends. I don't wanna...
389
00:13:02,742 --> 00:13:04,494
-You can tell me. Boss, come on.
-BRUCE: I don't wanna say.
390
00:13:04,577 --> 00:13:06,621
-LARRY: Come on. Come on, Boss.
-(HESITATES) It was Don Henley.
391
00:13:06,704 --> 00:13:08,122
-Don Henley.
-BRUCE: And now,
392
00:13:08,164 --> 00:13:10,833
I'm self-conscious
if I get a phone call from him
393
00:13:10,917 --> 00:13:11,876
or if I see him somewhere.
394
00:13:11,959 --> 00:13:13,419
Sure, yeah. Yeah.
I would avoid him
395
00:13:13,461 --> 00:13:14,462
for the rest of my life.
396
00:13:14,545 --> 00:13:16,964
That's... That's the situation
you've got yourself
397
00:13:17,048 --> 00:13:18,466
-into with Mr. McCrabb...
-Yeah. Yeah.
398
00:13:18,508 --> 00:13:20,510
-...or whatever his name is.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah. Les McCrabb.
399
00:13:20,593 --> 00:13:22,929
-Yeah.
-That is great news.
400
00:13:23,513 --> 00:13:25,264
God. Farewell tour
401
00:13:25,306 --> 00:13:27,558
-completely sold out.
-(LAUGHS)
402
00:13:27,642 --> 00:13:28,768
KEN MORRIS: Isn't that awesome?
403
00:13:28,810 --> 00:13:29,811
-Hey.
-Congratulations.
404
00:13:29,852 --> 00:13:30,770
-Thank you. Thank you.
-That's great.
405
00:13:30,812 --> 00:13:31,896
-Yeah.
-Thank you very much.
406
00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:33,898
Larry, good to see you again.
407
00:13:34,315 --> 00:13:35,191
Again?
408
00:13:35,274 --> 00:13:36,275
I'm sorry.
I do this all the time.
409
00:13:36,317 --> 00:13:38,569
I forget
that I haven't told people.
410
00:13:38,653 --> 00:13:42,073
It's been like 20, 25 years.
I used to work at Universal
411
00:13:42,156 --> 00:13:45,868
when you were at Seinfeld,
and, uh, I used to be Kendra.
412
00:13:46,786 --> 00:13:49,330
And now, I'm Ken.
Remember Kendra?
413
00:13:49,414 --> 00:13:50,415
Mor...
414
00:13:51,416 --> 00:13:52,417
Mor...
415
00:13:53,376 --> 00:13:54,127
Kendra Morris?
416
00:13:54,168 --> 00:13:56,045
(CHUCKLES) Kendra Morris. Yeah.
417
00:13:56,587 --> 00:13:58,881
Hey. Oh. Wow.
418
00:13:58,965 --> 00:14:00,341
I don't know
if you guys know this,
419
00:14:00,383 --> 00:14:03,177
-but Larry and I
used to hook up. -Eh. (CHUCKLES)
420
00:14:03,261 --> 00:14:04,804
KEN: Let's just say it.
Let's just say it.
421
00:14:04,846 --> 00:14:06,889
-LARRY: Sure, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
-It's no big deal. It's no big deal.
422
00:14:06,973 --> 00:14:08,474
Sure. When you were Kendra.
Yeah.
423
00:14:08,516 --> 00:14:09,350
We had some great times.
424
00:14:09,434 --> 00:14:11,477
Yeah. Yeah. Good times.
Good times.
425
00:14:11,519 --> 00:14:14,355
It's crazy you guys haven't seen
each other in so long.
426
00:14:14,439 --> 00:14:16,816
Wait a second. Wait a second.
That... That's my water.
427
00:14:16,858 --> 00:14:19,193
-I don't think so.
-I'm 100 percent positive
428
00:14:19,235 --> 00:14:21,279
that's mine.
I-- You know, I follow my water
429
00:14:21,362 --> 00:14:22,947
like it's
a three-card monte game.
430
00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:24,824
I put my water down
431
00:14:24,866 --> 00:14:26,117
where I can
comfortably reach it.
432
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,536
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But as you can see, this is--
433
00:14:28,578 --> 00:14:30,872
It's within my hash marks.
434
00:14:30,955 --> 00:14:32,373
It's in your hash marks?
435
00:14:32,415 --> 00:14:35,168
-It's within my hash marks.
-All right, got it.
436
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,210
-This one's fine.
-Yeah.
437
00:14:36,294 --> 00:14:37,837
-I'm fine.
-Yeah. That's...
438
00:14:37,879 --> 00:14:39,338
It's so good to see you, Larry.
439
00:14:39,380 --> 00:14:42,508
It is crazy how long it's been
since we've seen each other.
440
00:14:42,592 --> 00:14:43,426
-LARRY: Yeah.
-You look great.
441
00:14:43,509 --> 00:14:45,803
-Oh, that's so nice.
-Still a sexy beast.
442
00:14:45,887 --> 00:14:47,263
-(LAUGHS)
-Look at you. Look at you.
443
00:14:47,346 --> 00:14:48,931
-Doesn't he look great,
you guys? -Yeah.
444
00:14:49,015 --> 00:14:51,642
You-- You've changed,
uh, quite a lot.
445
00:14:51,726 --> 00:14:53,019
-KEN: Yeah. Yeah.
-Yeah.
446
00:14:53,061 --> 00:14:55,104
Some people say that I'm as hot
as a man as I was a woman.
447
00:14:55,188 --> 00:14:56,105
-Uh.
-KEN: So...
448
00:14:56,189 --> 00:14:57,648
-Eh...
-KEN: This guy.
449
00:14:57,732 --> 00:14:59,859
We had this little thing.
I don't know what it was.
450
00:14:59,901 --> 00:15:01,277
Larry would come over
to my place--
451
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:04,030
You know, nobody's really
interested in reminiscing
452
00:15:04,072 --> 00:15:06,783
and going over this stuff.
It's boring, really. You know.
453
00:15:06,866 --> 00:15:08,117
-It's not boring.
-I am. I'm interested.
454
00:15:08,201 --> 00:15:09,535
(CHUCKLES) I wanna hear
a little more about this.
455
00:15:09,577 --> 00:15:11,162
KEN: Do you remember this?
You'd come over,
456
00:15:11,245 --> 00:15:15,208
and every time we were intimate,
we would have sex on the floor.
457
00:15:15,249 --> 00:15:16,292
-(GROANS)
-On the floor?
458
00:15:16,375 --> 00:15:17,543
-KEN: Yeah.
-I'll tell you one thing.
459
00:15:17,585 --> 00:15:18,628
(SPLUTTERS) Sorry.
460
00:15:18,711 --> 00:15:21,089
I didn't make you out
for a floor fucker. (CHUCKLES)
461
00:15:21,172 --> 00:15:23,049
Why'd you wanna have sex
on the floor, Larr?
462
00:15:23,091 --> 00:15:24,592
Because if you have sex
on the floor,
463
00:15:24,675 --> 00:15:26,594
nobody wants to hang out
on the floor afterwards,
464
00:15:26,677 --> 00:15:28,930
so you can, you know,
put your coat on and go home.
465
00:15:29,013 --> 00:15:30,890
So, you don't have to bond
or, you know,
466
00:15:30,932 --> 00:15:32,809
talk or cuddle afterwards, yeah.
467
00:15:32,892 --> 00:15:34,102
LARRY: All right, so what?
468
00:15:34,143 --> 00:15:36,020
Who wants to talk to somebody
you've had sex with?
469
00:15:36,104 --> 00:15:38,356
I'm sure there was cuddling
before, though.
470
00:15:38,439 --> 00:15:40,066
Oh, yeah,
when Larry wanted something,
471
00:15:40,108 --> 00:15:42,443
Larry was real cuddly.
Weren't you, Larry?
472
00:15:42,527 --> 00:15:44,695
And then, uh, afterwards,
nah, not so much.
473
00:15:44,779 --> 00:15:47,782
It's a small world, Larry.
You and Ken sleeping together?
474
00:15:47,824 --> 00:15:50,118
No. No. No.
475
00:15:50,159 --> 00:15:52,995
I slept with Kendra...
476
00:15:53,830 --> 00:15:54,789
not Ken.
477
00:15:54,872 --> 00:15:57,458
-Kendra is Ken.
-Kendra is not Ken.
478
00:15:57,542 --> 00:15:59,794
-No, Kendra's Ken.
-Kendra's not Ken.
479
00:15:59,877 --> 00:16:02,630
-Kendra's Ken.
-I am Ken.
480
00:16:02,672 --> 00:16:04,674
You had sex with me.
481
00:16:04,757 --> 00:16:06,342
Ken is Kendra. Kendra is Ken.
482
00:16:06,426 --> 00:16:10,012
Ken is Ken, Kendra is Kendra,
483
00:16:10,096 --> 00:16:12,515
and never the twain shall meet.
484
00:16:12,598 --> 00:16:14,142
Oh, we've met.
485
00:16:14,183 --> 00:16:16,602
I'm Ken, and we banged it out.
486
00:16:18,813 --> 00:16:20,314
Hey, this was fun.
487
00:16:20,356 --> 00:16:21,774
I'm glad when I came out here
488
00:16:21,816 --> 00:16:23,818
-I got a chance to say hello.
Time to hit it? -KEN: Yeah.
489
00:16:23,901 --> 00:16:25,653
-Yeah. Let's get going.
-BRUCE: Think we're gonna hit it. 'Kay.
490
00:16:25,737 --> 00:16:26,529
-Nice to meet you all.
-Yeah.
491
00:16:26,612 --> 00:16:28,239
-Nice to meet you.
-LARRY: Nice. Yeah.
492
00:16:28,322 --> 00:16:29,907
-See you, Larry.
-LARRY: Good to see you again.
493
00:16:29,991 --> 00:16:31,200
SUSIE: Wait.
You're leaving already?
494
00:16:31,284 --> 00:16:32,618
We gotta go. I-- We got a thing.
495
00:16:32,660 --> 00:16:34,412
-I'm sorry.
-SUSIE: We had dessert and everything.
496
00:16:34,495 --> 00:16:36,247
-JEFF: All right,
thanks for coming by. -LARRY: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
497
00:16:36,330 --> 00:16:37,582
-Pleasure.
-I promise you.
498
00:16:37,665 --> 00:16:39,876
-SUSIE: We have more food.
-I will never mention this
499
00:16:39,958 --> 00:16:42,045
-again, ever.
-SUSIE: Can I help you?
500
00:16:42,128 --> 00:16:43,880
Oh, I'm Chunhua for Larry.
501
00:16:43,963 --> 00:16:45,173
-LARRY: Yeah. Yeah.
-For Larry?
502
00:16:45,256 --> 00:16:47,341
This is, uh-- This is Bruce.
This is Chunhua.
503
00:16:47,425 --> 00:16:51,012
-BRUCE: Oh, hi.
-(GASPS, GIGGLES)
504
00:16:51,054 --> 00:16:52,055
-SUSIE: Bye.
-LARRY: Yeah.
505
00:16:52,138 --> 00:16:54,974
-BRUCE: Bye-bye.
-What is that, Larry?
506
00:16:55,016 --> 00:16:56,976
-What do you mean?
-That is not introduction.
507
00:16:57,018 --> 00:16:58,311
That was an introduction.
I introduced him.
508
00:16:58,352 --> 00:17:00,646
I said, Bruce, this is Chunhua.
He said hello.
509
00:17:00,688 --> 00:17:03,858
But no handshake, no talk,
not even picture!
510
00:17:03,941 --> 00:17:05,026
I never said anything
about a picture.
511
00:17:05,109 --> 00:17:06,861
I said I'd introduce you.
I introduced you.
512
00:17:06,944 --> 00:17:09,030
No introduction!
You fail! You fail!
513
00:17:09,072 --> 00:17:10,531
-LARRY: I didn't fail!
-You have nice house.
514
00:17:10,573 --> 00:17:12,949
I didn't--
Was that not an introduction?
515
00:17:12,992 --> 00:17:14,827
-(DOOR SLAMMING)
-It was not a good introduction.
516
00:17:14,869 --> 00:17:17,080
-LARRY: It was an introduction.
-You bringing these crazy fucking people
517
00:17:17,162 --> 00:17:18,915
into my house?
Who the hell was she?
518
00:17:18,997 --> 00:17:20,833
Oh, well, she's a ma-- masseuse.
519
00:17:20,875 --> 00:17:21,876
You know what?
Get the fuck out.
520
00:17:21,958 --> 00:17:23,169
You make Bruce leave early.
521
00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:24,754
You bring some crazy broad
in here.
522
00:17:24,837 --> 00:17:26,464
-Just go.
I've had it with you today. -Fine. Fine.
523
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:29,258
-I don't need to stay anymore.
-SUSIE: No, you don't.
524
00:17:29,342 --> 00:17:30,635
-What are you doing?
-I gotta zip up
525
00:17:30,718 --> 00:17:32,929
-before I go out.
-What are you, six years old?
526
00:17:33,012 --> 00:17:34,055
You can't do
your fucking zipper?
527
00:17:34,138 --> 00:17:35,556
All right, I'm going!
528
00:17:35,973 --> 00:17:38,226
Oh, hey. Got it.
529
00:17:38,309 --> 00:17:40,895
-SUSIE: Good boy.
-LARRY: Drop dead.
530
00:17:40,937 --> 00:17:44,649
-♪ ("SYMPHONY NO. 5"
BY BEETHOVEN PLAYING) ♪ -( COUGHS, SNIFFS)
531
00:17:50,071 --> 00:17:51,364
(COUGHS)
532
00:18:01,457 --> 00:18:04,168
-(SIGHS)
-(CELL PHONE RINGING)
533
00:18:04,252 --> 00:18:05,962
-Hey.
-I have COVID.
534
00:18:06,045 --> 00:18:07,380
-You do?
-LARRY: Yeah.
535
00:18:07,422 --> 00:18:09,549
I had a little sore throat,
so I figured I'd take a test.
536
00:18:09,590 --> 00:18:11,217
-JEFF: What'd it say?
-Positive.
537
00:18:11,259 --> 00:18:12,552
-Do you have two red lines?
-LARRY: Yes.
538
00:18:12,593 --> 00:18:15,012
It shows the two red lines.
Two red lines.
539
00:18:15,096 --> 00:18:16,723
I fucking hate
the two red lines.
540
00:18:16,764 --> 00:18:19,058
Anyway, you better take a test,
you and Susie.
541
00:18:19,142 --> 00:18:22,228
We will. Hey, by the way,
I was about to call you.
542
00:18:22,270 --> 00:18:25,606
-Turn on channel five, KTLA.
-LARRY: Okay. Hold on.
543
00:18:27,525 --> 00:18:29,527
Sad news
for Southland music lovers.
544
00:18:29,610 --> 00:18:32,488
Bruce Springsteen
has been diagnosed with COVID.
545
00:18:32,572 --> 00:18:33,322
What the fuck?
546
00:18:33,406 --> 00:18:34,574
RICK CHAMBERS:
He is symptomatic,
547
00:18:34,615 --> 00:18:36,659
which means he's had
to cancel the final show
548
00:18:36,743 --> 00:18:39,120
of his farewell tour
that was set to take place
549
00:18:39,203 --> 00:18:41,330
right here in Los Angeles.
What a shame...
550
00:18:41,414 --> 00:18:44,167
Maybe I was wrong
about whose glass was whose?
551
00:18:44,250 --> 00:18:46,252
-JEFF: Do you think?
-Get better soon, Boss.
552
00:18:46,294 --> 00:18:47,712
MAN: (OVER TV) Thirty-six hours
of steady rainfall...
553
00:18:47,795 --> 00:18:49,589
-♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(COUGHS)
554
00:18:49,630 --> 00:18:52,050
Yeah, I'm just calling people
I've been in contact with.
555
00:18:52,133 --> 00:18:53,176
So, you know, take a test.
556
00:18:53,259 --> 00:18:54,844
Yeah, yeah, I know.
I'm quarantining.
557
00:18:54,927 --> 00:18:56,304
No, the--
It's very disappointing,
558
00:18:56,387 --> 00:18:57,930
because I'd gone years
without getting it.
559
00:18:57,972 --> 00:18:59,223
I felt really special.
560
00:18:59,307 --> 00:19:01,184
Now, I'm just like-- You know,
I'm like everybody else.
561
00:19:01,267 --> 00:19:02,351
-(SIGHS)
-It's too bad
562
00:19:02,435 --> 00:19:04,020
I didn't have
more social obligations.
563
00:19:04,103 --> 00:19:05,772
It's such a great excuse.
564
00:19:05,813 --> 00:19:06,689
The fridge is still humming.
565
00:19:06,773 --> 00:19:09,067
I think you need to come back
and fix it,
566
00:19:09,108 --> 00:19:11,486
but I guess you'll have to wait
till I'm better.
567
00:19:11,527 --> 00:19:12,737
Unless you wind up
having COVID.
568
00:19:12,820 --> 00:19:15,990
In which case, you know,
you can come tomorrow.
569
00:19:16,074 --> 00:19:17,325
-(SIGHS)
-Yeah, I feel like a pariah.
570
00:19:17,366 --> 00:19:18,326
More than normal.
571
00:19:18,367 --> 00:19:19,660
Thanks for being
so understanding.
572
00:19:19,744 --> 00:19:22,497
Let me know if you get it.
We'll... We'll do something.
573
00:19:24,957 --> 00:19:26,667
-♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
-(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
574
00:19:26,751 --> 00:19:29,212
-LEON: What's up?
-Just contacting people.
575
00:19:29,295 --> 00:19:30,171
Who you got left?
576
00:19:30,254 --> 00:19:33,508
I got everybody but, uh,
this guy, Les McCrabb.
577
00:19:33,549 --> 00:19:34,842
Oh, yeah, the British dude.
578
00:19:34,884 --> 00:19:37,553
LARRY: I can't really call him
until I read the book.
579
00:19:37,637 --> 00:19:38,846
Man, you gotta let
that motherfucker know, Larry.
580
00:19:38,930 --> 00:19:41,057
This COVID shit real, man.
Don't keep fucking around.
581
00:19:41,140 --> 00:19:42,600
I'll call him as soon
as I read the book.
582
00:19:42,683 --> 00:19:44,644
Come on, I'm sick.
Don't harass me.
583
00:19:44,685 --> 00:19:46,521
Harassing you?
You got me fucked up right now.
584
00:19:46,562 --> 00:19:48,022
I'm over in that bullshit-ass,
little-ass house,
585
00:19:48,064 --> 00:19:49,273
and you got the good bathroom.
586
00:19:49,357 --> 00:19:51,025
I can't take number twos
over there. It's too small.
587
00:19:51,109 --> 00:19:52,193
It's pretty sad.
588
00:19:52,235 --> 00:19:53,361
LEON: You don't need
all this house, Larry.
589
00:19:53,403 --> 00:19:55,238
I'll switch places
with you, okay?
590
00:19:55,321 --> 00:19:56,948
You get the COVID,
I'll live there.
591
00:19:57,031 --> 00:19:58,241
Shit, I don't want COVID, man.
592
00:19:58,324 --> 00:19:59,784
I don't know what
that shit gonna do to my dick.
593
00:19:59,867 --> 00:20:01,411
How 'bout I get the house
and you live over there?
594
00:20:01,494 --> 00:20:04,372
Maybe you could quarantine
with me if you had COVID!
595
00:20:04,414 --> 00:20:05,665
Hey, don't do it.
Larry, don't do it.
596
00:20:05,706 --> 00:20:07,875
-Don't do that shit, Larry.
-If you had COVID!
597
00:20:07,959 --> 00:20:09,210
LEON: No, no, no, no, no, no!
598
00:20:09,252 --> 00:20:11,295
-♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(COUGHS)
599
00:20:11,379 --> 00:20:13,339
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
600
00:20:14,549 --> 00:20:16,092
LES: So then Tony says,
601
00:20:16,175 --> 00:20:17,927
"America's not going
to like that."
602
00:20:18,010 --> 00:20:21,472
He was always speaking
as if his name was "America."
603
00:20:21,556 --> 00:20:24,392
Any time the writers wrote
something a little audacious...
604
00:20:24,434 --> 00:20:25,768
-(GROANS)
-...a little salacious,
605
00:20:25,852 --> 00:20:29,731
-Tony would poo-poo it
in the name of "America." -(SIGHS)
606
00:20:29,772 --> 00:20:31,607
LES:
This became increasingly evident
607
00:20:31,691 --> 00:20:34,026
when I was directing
Herman's Head.
608
00:20:34,277 --> 00:20:36,028
(SIGHS)
609
00:20:36,070 --> 00:20:38,823
♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
610
00:20:42,368 --> 00:20:44,829
-LEON: You negative yet?
-Positive.
611
00:20:44,912 --> 00:20:45,747
LEON: Shit.
612
00:20:45,830 --> 00:20:47,540
It's bad enough
Bruce had to cancel
613
00:20:47,582 --> 00:20:49,709
his farewell tour,
maybe indefinitely,
614
00:20:49,751 --> 00:20:51,836
but his health is actually
a real issue,
615
00:20:51,919 --> 00:20:53,588
and we don't know
how this is gonna turn out.
616
00:20:53,671 --> 00:20:54,756
Yeah,
Bruce Springsteen is saying
617
00:20:54,797 --> 00:20:56,883
he got COVID
from Seinfeld co-creator,
618
00:20:56,924 --> 00:20:57,925
-Larry David.
-What?
619
00:20:58,009 --> 00:21:00,553
He tweeted,
"I got COVID from spending time
620
00:21:00,595 --> 00:21:01,888
with Larry David.
If you think you're sick...
621
00:21:01,929 --> 00:21:03,723
Oh, come on. That's bullshit.
You don't know that!
622
00:21:03,765 --> 00:21:05,224
...don't invite people
to get together." And Larry's got a trial
623
00:21:05,308 --> 00:21:06,642
coming up at the end
of the month in Atlanta.
624
00:21:06,726 --> 00:21:07,894
HODA KOTB:
Getting the Boss sick?
625
00:21:07,935 --> 00:21:09,687
-That is not a good look.
-(CELL PHONE RINGING)
626
00:21:09,771 --> 00:21:10,897
Oh, my God.
627
00:21:10,938 --> 00:21:12,106
SAVANNAH GUTHRIE:
Bruce tweeted, "I want to apologize
628
00:21:12,190 --> 00:21:13,274
to all my fans.
629
00:21:13,357 --> 00:21:14,275
I am heartbroken
to miss my final concert."
630
00:21:14,317 --> 00:21:15,610
-Hey.
-Are you watching this?
631
00:21:15,693 --> 00:21:17,695
-LARRY: Yeah, I'm watching.
-This is not good, Larry.
632
00:21:17,779 --> 00:21:19,447
Yeah, I know it's not good,
but you know what?
633
00:21:19,530 --> 00:21:21,949
Maybe he gave me COVID.
What are we gonna do about this?
634
00:21:21,991 --> 00:21:22,784
(INHALES DEEPLY)
635
00:21:22,825 --> 00:21:24,202
LARRY: We gotta put out
a statement, no?
636
00:21:24,285 --> 00:21:26,162
SIBBY: Putting out a statement
is just gonna keep it alive
637
00:21:26,245 --> 00:21:28,331
-in the press.
-Wait. Hold on.
638
00:21:28,414 --> 00:21:30,124
-(MUFFLED GRUNTS)
-SIBBY: Larry?
639
00:21:30,166 --> 00:21:31,584
♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
640
00:21:31,626 --> 00:21:32,585
Hello?
641
00:21:32,627 --> 00:21:34,462
(GROANS)
642
00:21:36,339 --> 00:21:38,466
(GASPS, BREATHES DEEPLY)
643
00:21:39,467 --> 00:21:41,552
-Larry.
-You were saying?
644
00:21:41,636 --> 00:21:43,012
LEON: So, when Larry told me
he caught something,
645
00:21:43,096 --> 00:21:44,972
I thought it might've been
some old people shit.
646
00:21:45,056 --> 00:21:46,474
You know? Like... Like, uh...
647
00:21:46,516 --> 00:21:48,768
Like whooping cough, scurvy.
648
00:21:48,810 --> 00:21:50,311
You know what I mean?
Rickets and shit like that.
649
00:21:50,353 --> 00:21:52,980
-That's why I have
my own Leon cup with a straw. -Okay, well...
650
00:21:53,022 --> 00:21:55,650
-Oh. To what do I owe the honor?
-Well, Susie told me
651
00:21:55,733 --> 00:21:58,152
about your little
"sex on the floor" trick.
652
00:21:58,236 --> 00:22:00,738
-"Sex on the floor" trick?
-CHERYL: You used to tell me,
653
00:22:00,822 --> 00:22:03,574
"Let's have sex on the floor
because it's hot.
654
00:22:03,658 --> 00:22:04,909
That's how they do it
in the movies."
655
00:22:04,992 --> 00:22:07,245
Oh, you're a floor fucker.
You never told me that shit.
656
00:22:07,328 --> 00:22:08,913
Okay, I like to have sex
on the floor.
657
00:22:08,955 --> 00:22:10,123
-CHERYL: Why?
-So what?
658
00:22:10,164 --> 00:22:11,332
What's the real reason
you wanted
659
00:22:11,416 --> 00:22:13,000
to have sex on the floor?
660
00:22:15,294 --> 00:22:16,671
Because I... (SIGHS)
661
00:22:17,380 --> 00:22:18,715
-What?
-What is it?
662
00:22:19,340 --> 00:22:20,591
I don't like to...
663
00:22:22,343 --> 00:22:23,553
cuddle...
664
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:26,723
and talk.
665
00:22:26,806 --> 00:22:28,975
You don't like to hug the person
you just had sex with?
666
00:22:29,016 --> 00:22:31,144
You can't hit it
and quit it with your wife.
667
00:22:31,185 --> 00:22:32,729
Cheryl, listen,
if after sex you wanted
668
00:22:32,812 --> 00:22:34,689
-to talk about the Rangers...
-Yeah, I know.
669
00:22:34,772 --> 00:22:35,982
...I would've had sex
on the bed every time.
670
00:22:36,023 --> 00:22:37,650
"Hey, how 'bout the way
Breadman's playing?
671
00:22:37,692 --> 00:22:40,278
The way he controls that puck,
it's really amazing, isn't it?"
672
00:22:40,361 --> 00:22:41,863
But you can't say,
"Oh, I love you,
673
00:22:41,946 --> 00:22:44,198
and you're the most
important person
674
00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:45,283
to me in the whole world?"
675
00:22:45,366 --> 00:22:47,285
-People talk like that?
-Yeah.
676
00:22:47,368 --> 00:22:48,411
-LARRY: They do?
-Yeah.
677
00:22:48,494 --> 00:22:50,747
That's what happens
when people have sex.
678
00:22:50,830 --> 00:22:52,039
-They say stuff like that?
-CHERYL: Yes.
679
00:22:52,123 --> 00:22:56,002
They say, "I love you.
You're very special."
680
00:22:56,044 --> 00:22:57,295
Men do that?
681
00:22:57,378 --> 00:22:59,547
Hey, by the way,
that masseuse gave me COVID.
682
00:22:59,630 --> 00:23:01,591
No,
Chunhua did not give you COVID.
683
00:23:01,674 --> 00:23:03,426
-She tested negative.
-Oh.
684
00:23:03,509 --> 00:23:05,803
You know,
she's really angry with you.
685
00:23:05,887 --> 00:23:08,264
-Why?
-You said you were gonna introduce her to Bruce.
686
00:23:08,347 --> 00:23:10,558
I said an introduction.
Chu-- He said hello.
687
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:11,768
Did she get a picture with him?
688
00:23:11,851 --> 00:23:13,227
He was leaving!
What am I supposed--
689
00:23:13,269 --> 00:23:14,395
You need to make it right
with her.
690
00:23:14,479 --> 00:23:15,521
Why? What do you mean?
691
00:23:15,563 --> 00:23:17,190
Because she's gonna
take you down.
692
00:23:17,231 --> 00:23:19,859
-What do you mean, take me down?
-She's going to "Me Too" you.
693
00:23:19,901 --> 00:23:22,070
"Me Too" for what?
I didn't do anything!
694
00:23:22,153 --> 00:23:23,988
-You did something.
-Just 'cause I like to have sex
695
00:23:24,072 --> 00:23:26,365
on the floor
does not make me a deviant!
696
00:23:26,407 --> 00:23:27,742
Okay. Well,
you better make it right. Yes.
697
00:23:27,784 --> 00:23:29,410
LEON: Hey,
you don't wanna get "Me Too-ed."
698
00:23:29,494 --> 00:23:31,245
I was in a three-way,
shit got messy,
699
00:23:31,287 --> 00:23:32,330
and I got "We Too-ed."
700
00:23:32,413 --> 00:23:34,540
Hey, I'll... I'll...
I'll see you later.
701
00:23:34,582 --> 00:23:36,042
Have you ever had sex
on the floor?
702
00:23:36,084 --> 00:23:37,335
Of course, I did.
703
00:23:37,418 --> 00:23:39,087
Know what's even better?
Fucking in mud.
704
00:23:39,128 --> 00:23:43,091
-♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(INHALES)
705
00:23:46,010 --> 00:23:47,011
(GASPS)
706
00:23:49,055 --> 00:23:52,642
(LAUGHS)
707
00:24:02,110 --> 00:24:03,111
(SIGHS)
708
00:24:08,116 --> 00:24:10,493
-JEFF: Hey, hey.
-♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
709
00:24:10,576 --> 00:24:11,661
All better!
710
00:24:11,744 --> 00:24:12,703
-JEFF: Oh, yeah?
-Yeah.
711
00:24:12,787 --> 00:24:14,414
-COVID negative?
-Negative.
712
00:24:14,455 --> 00:24:15,957
-Ah. Congratulations.
-(SCOFFS)
713
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:17,750
-Yeah. Oh, boy.
-I got news for you.
714
00:24:17,792 --> 00:24:20,628
-Yeah?
-Susie's got COVID.
715
00:24:20,712 --> 00:24:22,880
-Oh, my God.
-Susie's stuck upstairs.
716
00:24:22,964 --> 00:24:24,882
I got the whole first floor
to myself.
717
00:24:24,966 --> 00:24:26,551
-This is unbelievable.
-JEFF: Oh, it's a dream.
718
00:24:26,634 --> 00:24:29,387
It's Jeff World down here.
I do whatever I want.
719
00:24:29,470 --> 00:24:31,055
Who's down there
with you, Jeffrey?
720
00:24:31,139 --> 00:24:32,598
-It's Larry.
-Hey.
721
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:34,100
He's not supposed to be here.
722
00:24:34,142 --> 00:24:35,560
What? I have immunity.
723
00:24:35,643 --> 00:24:38,020
-Oh, you think so?
-And can I tell you something? I feel like Superman.
724
00:24:38,104 --> 00:24:40,857
-Do you really?
-I can go anywhere, do anything.
725
00:24:40,940 --> 00:24:42,775
How could you be so happy
right now?
726
00:24:42,817 --> 00:24:44,652
You gave Bruce COVID, Larry!
727
00:24:44,736 --> 00:24:46,863
You destroyed his life,
his career.
728
00:24:46,946 --> 00:24:49,031
He might never play
or sing again.
729
00:24:49,115 --> 00:24:51,617
-Poor Boss. Oh, the poor Boss.
-SUSIE: That's right, poor Boss.
730
00:24:51,659 --> 00:24:55,204
-His fans are devastated.
-Oh, the poor fans.
731
00:24:55,288 --> 00:24:56,998
Everybody fucking hates you now.
732
00:24:57,039 --> 00:24:58,666
-Oh.
-SUSIE: It's all your fault.
733
00:24:58,750 --> 00:25:00,752
You're a walking fucking virus,
Larry!
734
00:25:00,835 --> 00:25:02,587
Let me tell you something!
You're the virus!
735
00:25:02,670 --> 00:25:04,839
Injecting yourself
into everybody's lives!
736
00:25:04,922 --> 00:25:06,507
-You're the virus!
-You're the virus!
737
00:25:06,549 --> 00:25:08,509
BOTH: You're the virus!
You're the virus!
738
00:25:08,551 --> 00:25:11,179
Your entire aura
is viral overload!
739
00:25:11,220 --> 00:25:13,765
I have a fantastic aura!
Jeff, don't I have a good aura?
740
00:25:13,848 --> 00:25:14,891
-A great aura.
-LARRY: I have a great--
741
00:25:14,974 --> 00:25:18,019
Susie,
leave the man's aura alone.
742
00:25:18,102 --> 00:25:20,313
It's an epic aura.
I have a Hall of Fame aura.
743
00:25:20,354 --> 00:25:24,275
You're small. You're petty.
You're jealous. You're trite.
744
00:25:24,358 --> 00:25:27,278
I would rather be
all those things
745
00:25:27,361 --> 00:25:31,032
than the tattletale you are.
You had to tell Cheryl I like to have sex on the floor?
746
00:25:31,074 --> 00:25:33,534
-Oh, yeah. I had to tell.
Yes, I did have to tell. -What the hell is that?
747
00:25:33,576 --> 00:25:34,869
-LARRY: You're a squealer!
-It was criminal.
748
00:25:34,952 --> 00:25:36,579
You ought to be ashamed
of yourself,
749
00:25:36,662 --> 00:25:38,414
squealing like a little pig.
750
00:25:38,498 --> 00:25:39,707
The fact
that you wouldn't be intimate
751
00:25:39,791 --> 00:25:41,709
and cuddle
with your own fucking wife.
752
00:25:41,751 --> 00:25:43,753
What kind
of ingrate human being are you?
753
00:25:43,836 --> 00:25:45,046
Oh, you know what?
Go fuck yourself.
754
00:25:45,088 --> 00:25:46,923
I hope you're up here
for another three weeks.
755
00:25:47,006 --> 00:25:50,051
You cold-hearted,
COVID-carrying cocksucker!
756
00:25:50,134 --> 00:25:51,677
LARRY: Hey,
let's go watch the game.
757
00:25:51,719 --> 00:25:53,012
-(SIGHS)
-Yeah.
758
00:25:53,096 --> 00:25:54,722
Drove by Ollie and Al's.
759
00:25:54,806 --> 00:25:56,516
-A is still up.
-You're kidding.
760
00:25:56,557 --> 00:25:58,142
-(CHUCKLES) No.
-Where does that guy get off?
761
00:25:58,226 --> 00:26:01,062
-I'm gonna talk to him about it.
-♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
762
00:26:01,145 --> 00:26:03,856
You have bad foot.
Stop. Go. Stop. Go.
763
00:26:03,898 --> 00:26:05,358
-This no smooth ride.
-Oh, please.
764
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:07,402
-Herky-jerky.
-Oh, my God.
765
00:26:07,443 --> 00:26:09,404
When we see Bruce today,
I want photo.
766
00:26:09,487 --> 00:26:10,738
LARRY: Yeah, great.
767
00:26:10,780 --> 00:26:13,408
Yeah, I don't even know
how we're even getting in, okay?
768
00:26:13,491 --> 00:26:15,451
I masseuse.
Masseuse always get in.
769
00:26:15,535 --> 00:26:17,078
-Oh. Yeah.
-FANS: Bruce!
770
00:26:17,120 --> 00:26:19,705
-LARRY: Um. Oh, jeez. Uh-oh.
-FEMALE FAN 1: Get well soon!
771
00:26:19,747 --> 00:26:20,957
-FANS: Bruce!
-♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
772
00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:22,917
-FEMALE FAN 1: We love you!
-FANS: Bruce!
773
00:26:22,959 --> 00:26:24,585
-FEMALE FAN 1: We miss you!
-FANS: Bruce!
774
00:26:24,669 --> 00:26:26,754
MALE FAN: Asbury Park rules!
775
00:26:26,838 --> 00:26:29,841
Um, all right,
I gotta pull over.
776
00:26:30,383 --> 00:26:31,676
CHUNHUA: Why stop here?
777
00:26:31,759 --> 00:26:33,803
-You're gonna have to drive.
-FANS: Bruce!
778
00:26:33,886 --> 00:26:36,347
-We're sending our love!
-FANS: Bruce!
779
00:26:36,431 --> 00:26:37,807
MALE FAN: Feel better, please.
780
00:26:37,890 --> 00:26:40,101
-FEMALE FAN 1: We need you
back on tour, man! -FANS: Bruce!
781
00:26:40,184 --> 00:26:42,270
I still don't get
how you're gonna get in here.
782
00:26:42,353 --> 00:26:44,105
-It's impossible.
-CHUNHUA: Leave it to me.
783
00:26:44,188 --> 00:26:46,023
-(INTERCOM BEEPS)
-FEMALE FAN 2: We're praying for you!
784
00:26:46,107 --> 00:26:48,484
-MAN: (OVER INTERCOM) Hello?
-Massage!
785
00:26:48,568 --> 00:26:50,862
-MAN: Excuse me!
-Massage!
786
00:26:50,945 --> 00:26:53,197
MAN: I'm sorry, uh,
we did not order a massage.
787
00:26:53,281 --> 00:26:56,576
Somebody in this house
order massage. Open gate.
788
00:26:56,617 --> 00:26:58,703
MAN: No, no one
in this house ordered a massage.
789
00:26:58,786 --> 00:27:02,749
You order massage. 362 Bristol.
Open gate or I leave,
790
00:27:02,790 --> 00:27:04,083
and you pay me.
791
00:27:05,126 --> 00:27:06,127
MAN: Uh...
792
00:27:06,210 --> 00:27:08,337
-Okay, come on in.
-(INTERCOM BEEPS)
793
00:27:08,421 --> 00:27:10,423
Unbelievable. (LAUGHS)
794
00:27:11,132 --> 00:27:12,383
FANS: Bruce!
795
00:27:12,467 --> 00:27:13,718
Larry.
796
00:27:14,469 --> 00:27:15,219
Larry.
797
00:27:15,303 --> 00:27:16,679
-LARRY: Yeah.
-CHUNHUA: Where Bruce?
798
00:27:16,763 --> 00:27:17,972
One second. Follow me.
799
00:27:18,056 --> 00:27:21,059
-♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-MALE FAN: Whoo! Springsteen!
800
00:27:30,401 --> 00:27:31,903
A house divided
801
00:27:31,986 --> 00:27:35,823
-against itself cannot stand.
-(COUGHS)
802
00:27:35,865 --> 00:27:37,825
-Ah.
-(COUGHS)
803
00:27:37,909 --> 00:27:39,786
-Hey.
-(COUGHS)
804
00:27:39,827 --> 00:27:41,662
-(GASPS) Bruce!
-♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
805
00:27:41,704 --> 00:27:43,331
-What the fuck?
-LARRY: Hey.
806
00:27:43,372 --> 00:27:44,582
-Hey, man.
-Larry.
807
00:27:44,665 --> 00:27:45,583
Yeah.
808
00:27:45,666 --> 00:27:47,335
What are you doing
in my backyard,
809
00:27:47,418 --> 00:27:48,836
and how did you get in here?
810
00:27:48,878 --> 00:27:50,171
Oh, I laid down
on the floor of the car.
811
00:27:50,213 --> 00:27:52,632
She said she was your masseuse.
They let her in.
812
00:27:52,673 --> 00:27:53,883
-What?
-LARRY: By the way,
813
00:27:53,966 --> 00:27:54,967
there's a lot of people
out there.
814
00:27:55,009 --> 00:27:57,053
Yeah,
because they think I'm dying
815
00:27:57,136 --> 00:27:58,805
from the COVID
I caught from you.
816
00:27:58,846 --> 00:28:00,848
Mr. Three-Card Monte
with the glasses.
817
00:28:00,932 --> 00:28:02,141
That's where it happened.
818
00:28:02,183 --> 00:28:04,602
Hey,
I'm almost 99.9 percent sure
819
00:28:04,685 --> 00:28:05,853
that was my glass, Bruce.
820
00:28:05,937 --> 00:28:07,772
I lost my sense of smell.
821
00:28:07,855 --> 00:28:09,816
I'm so sorry.
There's nothing to smell.
822
00:28:09,857 --> 00:28:11,192
Everything stinks.
It doesn't matter.
823
00:28:11,275 --> 00:28:12,902
-(SIGHS) Fuck.
-LARRY: You're better off.
824
00:28:12,985 --> 00:28:14,362
Hey, what are you watching?
825
00:28:14,445 --> 00:28:16,572
-BRUCE: Uh, Young Mr. Lincoln.
-LARRY: Lincoln in Illinois?
826
00:28:16,656 --> 00:28:18,324
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
-I love that movie.
827
00:28:18,366 --> 00:28:19,700
(IMITATES RAYMOND MASSEY)
A house divided
828
00:28:19,742 --> 00:28:21,828
against itself cannot stand.
829
00:28:21,869 --> 00:28:24,205
That's a good Massey.
Now get the fuck out, please.
830
00:28:24,247 --> 00:28:26,582
Okay. Hey, um,
do you remember Chunhua?
831
00:28:26,666 --> 00:28:28,668
(GASPS) Bruce.
I love you, Bruce.
832
00:28:28,751 --> 00:28:30,628
She didn't get a chance
to talk to you last time.
833
00:28:30,712 --> 00:28:32,630
She-- You know,
she's a big fan.
834
00:28:32,714 --> 00:28:34,298
-She just want one-- Just--
-One photo.
835
00:28:34,382 --> 00:28:37,051
I'm sick as a fucking dog.
It's not really the best time.
836
00:28:37,093 --> 00:28:38,386
-It'll just take one second.
-One photo.
837
00:28:38,469 --> 00:28:39,721
-It'll take one second.
-What?
838
00:28:39,804 --> 00:28:40,972
-CHUNHUA: Thank you.
-LARRY: There you go.
839
00:28:41,055 --> 00:28:43,391
-Wha-- Larry-- (COUGHS)
-(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING)
840
00:28:43,474 --> 00:28:45,101
-LARRY: Okay. There you go.
-Show me. Show me.
841
00:28:45,184 --> 00:28:46,728
-Okay, man.
-BRUCE: (COUGHS) Jesus Christ.
842
00:28:46,769 --> 00:28:48,896
No, Bruce,
only me and reflection.
843
00:28:48,980 --> 00:28:50,565
-LARRY: What am I supposed
to do? -CHUNHUA: Take photo!
844
00:28:50,648 --> 00:28:51,899
This is the last one!
845
00:28:51,941 --> 00:28:53,109
-Larry, Larry...
-Take photo,
846
00:28:53,192 --> 00:28:54,318
-you dumb, bald man.
-...take the fucking photo!
847
00:28:54,402 --> 00:28:55,737
-I took it! I took it!
-CHUNHUA: Photo, Larry.
848
00:28:55,820 --> 00:28:56,738
-Larry, what are you doing?
-LARRY: Oh. Yeah.
849
00:28:56,821 --> 00:28:57,864
You guys can't be here.
850
00:28:57,905 --> 00:28:59,699
-He doesn't feel well.
-LARRY: Yeah.
851
00:28:59,741 --> 00:29:01,409
-I'm sick.
-Yeah. You gotta get out of here.
852
00:29:01,492 --> 00:29:03,953
I'm sorry about this.
I totally had a hunch
853
00:29:04,036 --> 00:29:05,163
-that this was not
a good idea... -Yeah, you know,
854
00:29:05,246 --> 00:29:06,414
-you had a hunch.
-...that you meet Bruce.
855
00:29:06,497 --> 00:29:08,166
That's not a hunch.
I think you want all the credit
856
00:29:08,249 --> 00:29:09,751
for being right
without doing any of the work.
857
00:29:09,834 --> 00:29:11,836
If you had a hunch,
you should've said something.
858
00:29:11,919 --> 00:29:12,837
-There you go. There you go.
-Yeah.
859
00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:14,380
You need to get out of here,
Larry.
860
00:29:14,422 --> 00:29:16,090
(IMITATES RAYMOND MASSEY)
All right. We'll take our leave now.
861
00:29:16,132 --> 00:29:17,967
-Come on. Come on.
Please, no photos. Yeah. -Ah, Jesus Christ.
862
00:29:18,051 --> 00:29:19,260
-Steven, may I add...
-Let's go.
863
00:29:19,302 --> 00:29:22,055
...we're very honored
and appreciative of the time
864
00:29:22,096 --> 00:29:24,098
-we got to spend here.
-KEN: Yep. Let's go.
865
00:29:24,182 --> 00:29:27,310
LARRY: Mary,
why do you constantly insult me
866
00:29:27,393 --> 00:29:28,853
in front of my friends?
867
00:29:28,936 --> 00:29:30,897
-♪ (MAJESTIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(COUGHS)
868
00:29:30,938 --> 00:29:32,106
RAYMOND MASSEY: (OVER TV)
Would we not rather say
869
00:29:32,148 --> 00:29:33,900
the remedy is in our hands?
870
00:29:33,941 --> 00:29:36,569
Fucking Larry. (BLOWS NOSE)
871
00:29:36,611 --> 00:29:38,321
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
872
00:29:38,404 --> 00:29:40,573
Do you--
You got what you needed, right?
873
00:29:40,615 --> 00:29:42,700
♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
874
00:29:42,784 --> 00:29:44,827
Oh, my God, it's Larry David!
875
00:29:44,911 --> 00:29:47,413
You gave Bruce COVID,
you psycho!
876
00:29:47,455 --> 00:29:49,916
-(FANS SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)
-No, no! No, no, no!
877
00:29:49,957 --> 00:29:52,377
-I didn't give him COVID!
-You ruined the tour. I had front row seats.
878
00:29:52,460 --> 00:29:54,796
-No, no, no, no, no, no!
-It was my last chance to see him.
879
00:29:54,879 --> 00:29:57,048
-He gave me COVID! Holy shit!
-Drive! Drive!
880
00:29:57,131 --> 00:30:00,259
No, no, no! Hey, hey!
881
00:30:01,427 --> 00:30:02,887
Go, go, go!
882
00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:06,891
Oh, my God.
883
00:30:10,561 --> 00:30:12,105
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
884
00:30:12,146 --> 00:30:15,149
LES: Did Patricia Heaton get
a little handsy?
885
00:30:15,233 --> 00:30:17,860
Well, that is a tale
for my next book,
886
00:30:17,944 --> 00:30:20,154
because that's a wrap!
887
00:30:24,492 --> 00:30:25,368
What a piece of shit.
888
00:30:25,451 --> 00:30:26,828
Now you gotta call
that motherfucker.
889
00:30:26,911 --> 00:30:28,162
What's up, fellas?
Keeping it light today.
890
00:30:28,246 --> 00:30:31,165
Lorenzo. I saw what you did.
891
00:30:31,249 --> 00:30:35,128
I saw you change the sign
from a C to an A.
892
00:30:35,169 --> 00:30:38,131
So, I'm not about to eat food
from your restaurant.
893
00:30:38,715 --> 00:30:40,049
That C was undeserved.
894
00:30:40,133 --> 00:30:41,509
Oh, really? How so?
895
00:30:41,592 --> 00:30:44,971
One of my guys had sex
with a waitress on the floor.
896
00:30:45,012 --> 00:30:48,015
Health department found out,
and then, boom, we got a C.
897
00:30:48,099 --> 00:30:49,350
Doesn't even make any sense.
898
00:30:49,392 --> 00:30:51,060
Why have sex with anybody
on a floor?
899
00:30:51,144 --> 00:30:52,687
There's plenty of places
to have sex.
900
00:30:52,729 --> 00:30:54,188
I have a couch in my office.
901
00:30:54,230 --> 00:30:55,940
Maybe he just knows that women
902
00:30:56,023 --> 00:30:57,650
don't wanna hang out
on the floor and...
903
00:30:57,692 --> 00:30:59,026
and that he can have sex
904
00:30:59,068 --> 00:31:01,946
and then just get dressed
and, uh, go about his business.
905
00:31:02,029 --> 00:31:03,990
You know, I considered that,
906
00:31:04,031 --> 00:31:06,993
and that pisses me off
more than this fucking C.
907
00:31:07,952 --> 00:31:09,036
What kind of asshole
908
00:31:09,078 --> 00:31:11,205
doesn't want
to cuddle after sex?
909
00:31:11,247 --> 00:31:13,875
That's what separates us
from animals.
910
00:31:13,916 --> 00:31:16,753
We're not two badgers fucking
in the woods.
911
00:31:16,836 --> 00:31:19,213
We are people
who love one another.
912
00:31:19,297 --> 00:31:21,382
Woman just gives herself
to you like that,
913
00:31:21,424 --> 00:31:23,676
and you're not gonna spend
a little time thanking her?
914
00:31:23,718 --> 00:31:25,386
And the fact
that he couldn't throw
915
00:31:25,470 --> 00:31:26,721
an arm around her,
916
00:31:26,804 --> 00:31:29,390
talk about the rest
of her fucking day.
917
00:31:29,474 --> 00:31:31,601
What's she gonna do?
Where's she gonna go?
918
00:31:31,684 --> 00:31:35,354
It just takes one minute
of common fucking courtesy.
919
00:31:35,396 --> 00:31:37,815
There's never an excuse
not to cuddle.
920
00:31:37,899 --> 00:31:40,610
That guy
is a straight up sick fuck.
921
00:31:41,402 --> 00:31:42,820
Well, you know...
(CLEARS THROAT)
922
00:31:42,904 --> 00:31:44,447
...we don't know anything
about this guy.
923
00:31:44,530 --> 00:31:46,115
Maybe he's just a nice guy
in a hurry.
924
00:31:46,199 --> 00:31:48,493
No. He is a dirty floor fucker
925
00:31:48,576 --> 00:31:50,411
who doesn't deserve
to live amongst us.
926
00:31:51,412 --> 00:31:53,081
You know what?
This is all on me.
927
00:31:53,122 --> 00:31:55,333
-Really?
-The place is clean.
928
00:31:56,417 --> 00:31:57,418
We deserve an A.
929
00:31:58,336 --> 00:32:00,380
-I'd like to meet this guy.
-(LEON SIGHS)
930
00:32:00,421 --> 00:32:02,256
-We got something in common.
-LEON: You do.
931
00:32:02,340 --> 00:32:03,758
I could probably be friends
with this guy.
932
00:32:03,841 --> 00:32:07,762
I only did it in my house.
He's doing it in restaurants.
933
00:32:07,845 --> 00:32:09,055
-Yeah.
-LARRY: It's sad to think
934
00:32:09,097 --> 00:32:11,307
that there might be a guy
out there
935
00:32:11,391 --> 00:32:14,727
-who has sex on the floor...
-LEON: Yeah.
936
00:32:14,769 --> 00:32:15,895
...and I'm never gonna meet him.
937
00:32:15,937 --> 00:32:17,480
Yeah, that's deep shit
right there.
938
00:32:17,563 --> 00:32:21,192
-All right. (SIGHS) Let's go.
-Wait.
939
00:32:21,275 --> 00:32:23,277
What the fuck is happening here?
You read the book.
940
00:32:23,319 --> 00:32:24,445
You know what time it is now?
941
00:32:24,487 --> 00:32:25,696
You gotta call
this motherfucker.
942
00:32:25,738 --> 00:32:27,156
Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.
One second.
943
00:32:28,157 --> 00:32:29,534
LEON: You gotta do
that shit right now?
944
00:32:29,617 --> 00:32:30,368
Every moment counts.
945
00:32:30,451 --> 00:32:31,744
You gonna put
that shit off again,
946
00:32:31,786 --> 00:32:34,539
and this motherfucker's
walking around, spreading Rona.
947
00:32:34,622 --> 00:32:37,166
-Ah. Okay. Got it.
-LEON: There you go. See?
948
00:32:37,250 --> 00:32:38,960
Now call that
sorry-ass English motherfucker
949
00:32:39,043 --> 00:32:41,462
and let him know
he got the Rona.
950
00:32:41,504 --> 00:32:42,880
Namaste, sister.
951
00:32:42,964 --> 00:32:45,550
-Thank you.
-(CHUCKLES) Mahmoud!
952
00:32:45,633 --> 00:32:46,843
Lovely to see you again.
953
00:32:46,926 --> 00:32:48,428
Wonderful to see you too,
brother.
954
00:32:48,469 --> 00:32:50,221
Bye-bye, phone.
See you in a week.
955
00:32:50,304 --> 00:32:51,431
-Hmm.
-(LES CHUCKLES)
956
00:32:51,472 --> 00:32:53,224
-Here you are, everybody!
-(PASSENGERS CHEER)
957
00:32:53,307 --> 00:32:54,475
LES: Hey, hey, hey!
How is everyone?
958
00:32:54,559 --> 00:32:56,102
-(CELL PHONE RINGING)
-LES: Fantastic to see you.
959
00:32:56,144 --> 00:32:58,646
I didn't sleep last night.
I was so excited.
960
00:32:58,730 --> 00:33:00,773
There you are. Give me a kiss.
961
00:33:00,815 --> 00:33:01,983
-Come close.
-WOMAN 1: Big hugs.
962
00:33:02,066 --> 00:33:03,443
LES: I was hoping you'd be here.
963
00:33:03,484 --> 00:33:05,194
-My brother tells me
you're pregnant again. -WOMAN 2: Twins.
964
00:33:05,278 --> 00:33:06,487
-Let's do this.
-MAN: All right, Les.
965
00:33:06,571 --> 00:33:09,073
Now, everyone, I want you
to take a cleansing breath
966
00:33:09,157 --> 00:33:11,868
before we take off.
(INHALES DEEPLY)
967
00:33:11,951 --> 00:33:15,204
(ALL YELL)
968
00:33:15,288 --> 00:33:18,166
Great. Right, let's go.
Let's not be fucking late.
969
00:33:18,207 --> 00:33:21,169
♪ ("CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM"
THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
970
00:34:26,067 --> 00:34:28,528
♪ (THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
971
00:34:28,578 --> 00:34:33,128
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