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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,980 --> 00:00:02,810 Previously on Young Sheldon... 2 00:00:02,860 --> 00:00:05,530 Hi, Pastor Jeff, can you come over right now? 3 00:00:05,589 --> 00:00:07,700 I need you to save someone's soul. 4 00:00:07,750 --> 00:00:09,370 - JEFF: Amen. - (MARY GASPS) 5 00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:10,690 In your face, Catholics. 6 00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:14,000 I baptize you in the name of the Father 7 00:00:14,050 --> 00:00:15,790 and the Son 8 00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:17,900 and the Holy Spirit, amen. 9 00:00:17,950 --> 00:00:19,840 - Amen. - MANDY: You know, I'm not a lawyer, 10 00:00:19,895 --> 00:00:20,899 but you could make the argument 11 00:00:20,900 --> 00:00:23,010 that my child was kidnapped twice. 12 00:00:23,065 --> 00:00:25,050 Well, there have to be consequences. 13 00:00:25,109 --> 00:00:26,799 How do you feel about coming down to City Hall 14 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:28,350 to witness me and Georgie get married? 15 00:00:28,404 --> 00:00:29,560 What about your parents? 16 00:00:29,613 --> 00:00:31,390 We're really not gonna invite our folks? 17 00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:34,230 A spite wedding. I had one of those. 18 00:00:34,285 --> 00:00:35,850 Let me get my purse. 19 00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:41,570 GEORGE JR.: Hey, little girl. 20 00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:43,950 In a few minutes, you're gonna be legitimate. 21 00:00:44,003 --> 00:00:45,950 You saying she's illegitimate? 22 00:00:46,005 --> 00:00:48,700 Not me, just, you know, everybody. 23 00:00:48,757 --> 00:00:50,530 If you want to smack him, I'll hold the baby. 24 00:00:50,580 --> 00:00:51,970 Nah, it's okay. 25 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:54,080 Well, just in case. 26 00:00:54,138 --> 00:00:55,790 - (LAUGHS) - MARY: Wait! 27 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,380 - Wait! - What are they doing here? 28 00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:01,140 MEEMAW: I told them, and you can't smack me 29 00:01:01,190 --> 00:01:02,430 'cause I'm holding the baby. 30 00:01:03,260 --> 00:01:06,260 - Did we miss it? - No, we're still waiting. 31 00:01:06,317 --> 00:01:07,890 I told you we didn't need to run. 32 00:01:08,980 --> 00:01:10,960 I know you're mad at me, and I am sorry, 33 00:01:11,010 --> 00:01:12,840 but can we please be a part of this wedding? 34 00:01:12,890 --> 00:01:14,810 Yes, please. I only have one brother. 35 00:01:14,860 --> 00:01:16,950 - What about Sheldon? - Yeah. 36 00:01:18,287 --> 00:01:19,287 Fine. 37 00:01:19,330 --> 00:01:21,650 - (EXHALES): Oh. - Cooper-McAllister? 38 00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:23,080 - Right here. - You're up. 39 00:01:24,010 --> 00:01:25,070 AUDREY: Wait! 40 00:01:25,127 --> 00:01:26,290 Wait. 41 00:01:29,630 --> 00:01:30,674 Wasn't me. 42 00:01:30,690 --> 00:01:32,550 It was me. I called your dad. 43 00:01:33,302 --> 00:01:34,450 Oh, that's a long hallway. 44 00:01:34,500 --> 00:01:36,670 - And those steps in front? - Brutal. 45 00:01:36,722 --> 00:01:39,640 AUDREY: Please, let us be part of this. 46 00:01:40,950 --> 00:01:42,010 What do you think? 47 00:01:42,061 --> 00:01:44,060 Oh, I think we're thinking the same thing. 48 00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:45,800 You can stay. 49 00:01:45,856 --> 00:01:47,220 (SIGHS) 50 00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:49,030 - Come on. - Are you gonna be okay? 51 00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:51,320 Yeah, yeah. Maybe. 52 00:01:55,100 --> 00:01:56,100 Aww. 53 00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:57,810 What's wrong? 54 00:01:57,868 --> 00:01:59,868 No, it's just, I wanted to walk you down the aisle, 55 00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:01,360 but there's no aisle. 56 00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:02,990 Um, hang on. 57 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:04,083 (SOFTLY): Come on. 58 00:02:09,940 --> 00:02:11,790 ♪ ♪ 59 00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:16,210 - Thank you. - Take care of my little girl. 60 00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:18,340 - Yes, sir. - All right. 61 00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:23,630 All right. Let's get started. 62 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:26,550 Could you show a little respect and stand up? 63 00:02:26,605 --> 00:02:28,640 One of those. 64 00:02:30,940 --> 00:02:32,750 George Marshall Cooper Jr., 65 00:02:32,770 --> 00:02:35,100 do you take Amanda Elizabeth McAllister 66 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,190 to be your lawfully wedded wife? 67 00:02:37,241 --> 00:02:38,242 I do. 68 00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:41,020 LYNDON: Amanda Elizabeth McAllister, 69 00:02:41,078 --> 00:02:42,720 do you take George Marshall Cooper Jr. 70 00:02:42,770 --> 00:02:44,320 to be your lawfully wedded husband? 71 00:02:44,373 --> 00:02:45,410 I do. 72 00:02:47,220 --> 00:02:48,590 LYNDON: By the power vested in me 73 00:02:48,640 --> 00:02:49,950 by the great state of Texas, 74 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,130 I now pronounce you husband and wife. 75 00:02:52,180 --> 00:02:53,620 - (LAUGHS) - You may kiss the bride. 76 00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:56,210 (APPLAUSE) 77 00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:58,080 You can sit down now. 78 00:02:58,137 --> 00:03:00,990 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 79 00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:03,710 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 80 00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:06,510 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 81 00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:09,370 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 82 00:03:09,420 --> 00:03:12,720 ♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪ 83 00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:16,100 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 84 00:03:16,150 --> 00:03:18,350 (MUSIC PLAYING SOFTLY) 85 00:03:20,530 --> 00:03:22,640 I can't believe they gave us the train car. 86 00:03:22,690 --> 00:03:25,360 Well, my dad slipped the conductor five bucks. 87 00:03:25,414 --> 00:03:26,894 - Classy. - So, what are you thinking? 88 00:03:26,910 --> 00:03:28,860 Couple buckets of spaghetti for the table? 89 00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:32,000 Sure. Y-Yeah... and we're gonna split the tab. 90 00:03:32,050 --> 00:03:33,240 It's all right, I got it. 91 00:03:33,297 --> 00:03:34,450 Uh, Jim, come on. 92 00:03:34,506 --> 00:03:36,090 We didn't pay for a wedding, 93 00:03:36,140 --> 00:03:37,830 we can spring for some spaghetti. 94 00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:40,330 - I-In a bucket. - We know. 95 00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:42,170 I-I'm happy to chip in. 96 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,380 No, no. No, this is between me and him. 97 00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:47,300 - And we're splitting it. - Dad, we're poor. Let him pay. 98 00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:48,550 We are not poor. 99 00:03:48,604 --> 00:03:50,260 Wouldn't matter either way. 100 00:03:50,314 --> 00:03:52,050 But we're not. 101 00:03:52,107 --> 00:03:55,680 - (GLASS CLINKING) - (CLEARS THROAT) 102 00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:58,240 I would like to propose a toast... 103 00:03:59,198 --> 00:04:01,730 ... to Mandy and Georgie. 104 00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:06,200 Your relationship started out with lies and deceit, 105 00:04:06,250 --> 00:04:08,490 which usually happens later on in marriage. 106 00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:09,650 Where is this going? 107 00:04:09,708 --> 00:04:14,700 But you two got it out of the way right up front. 108 00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:17,040 So I think the odds are in your favor... 109 00:04:17,890 --> 00:04:22,840 ... for having a lifetime of love and happiness. 110 00:04:22,890 --> 00:04:26,380 To Mandy and Georgie... 111 00:04:28,050 --> 00:04:29,530 ... and CeeCee. 112 00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:34,220 Way to bring it home, baby. 113 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,720 I can do heartfelt. 114 00:04:36,390 --> 00:04:38,410 - Hello. - Oh, good, you're here. 115 00:04:38,460 --> 00:04:40,640 Oh, thank you for bringing him, Dr. Linkletter. 116 00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:42,270 Well, you hungry? Have a seat. 117 00:04:42,324 --> 00:04:44,780 Well, I do have a half can of tuna waiting for me at home, 118 00:04:44,830 --> 00:04:46,900 but what the hay? 119 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:50,280 So, you and my brother got married and no one invited me? 120 00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:52,530 Sorry, it was kind of a last-minute thing. 121 00:04:52,584 --> 00:04:53,590 No, I was thanking you. 122 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:55,837 I hope that, someday, my sister won't invite me to her wedding. 123 00:04:55,838 --> 00:04:57,180 - I won't. - Thank you. 124 00:04:57,230 --> 00:04:58,870 Here we are. 125 00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:01,040 Grab a shovel and dig in. 126 00:05:03,570 --> 00:05:04,670 There you go. 127 00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:08,340 I spent the summer in Italy once. 128 00:05:08,392 --> 00:05:09,460 Bringing back memories? 129 00:05:10,190 --> 00:05:11,320 No. 130 00:05:11,370 --> 00:05:13,010 (GLASS CLINKING) 131 00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:17,140 Amanda, Georgie, 132 00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:20,900 since your father and I didn't get to give you a proper wedding, 133 00:05:20,950 --> 00:05:22,890 we'd like to pay for a honeymoon. 134 00:05:22,948 --> 00:05:24,810 (GASPS) Wow, really? 135 00:05:24,867 --> 00:05:26,150 Should we offer to split... ? 136 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,460 Mr. McAllister, really appreciate it, 137 00:05:29,510 --> 00:05:31,320 but that's not necessary. 138 00:05:31,373 --> 00:05:34,160 First of all, no more of this "Mr. McAllister" stuff, okay? 139 00:05:34,210 --> 00:05:36,500 - It's Jim. - Thank you, Jim. 140 00:05:36,550 --> 00:05:38,620 Uh, very kind, Jim. 141 00:05:38,670 --> 00:05:40,750 This feels weird, Jim. 142 00:05:41,390 --> 00:05:42,660 So, where are we going? 143 00:05:42,718 --> 00:05:43,740 What would you say 144 00:05:43,790 --> 00:05:47,540 to an all-expenses-paid weekend at Dollywood? 145 00:05:47,598 --> 00:05:48,848 - Shut up. - MANDY: Oh, my God. 146 00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,920 - Thank you. - That's amazing. 147 00:05:50,976 --> 00:05:52,351 Oh, I'm definitely getting married. 148 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,550 And I won't be going. 149 00:05:53,604 --> 00:05:55,130 Oh, and I can watch the baby. 150 00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:58,220 Or me, the one who just paid for your honeymoon. 151 00:05:58,270 --> 00:06:00,229 You two are on probation. I don't want to come home 152 00:06:00,230 --> 00:06:02,180 and find out there was an exorcism. 153 00:06:02,230 --> 00:06:05,310 - Connie, will you do it? - I would love to. 154 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,560 Wait a minute, it's my house. Don't I have a say? 155 00:06:07,618 --> 00:06:08,810 No. 156 00:06:10,010 --> 00:06:11,610 I don't have a say. 157 00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:16,040 I got to go open up the gambling room. 158 00:06:16,090 --> 00:06:17,900 Can you watch her for about an hour? 159 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:20,490 I just had coffee and a bowl of Raisin Bran. 160 00:06:20,510 --> 00:06:23,000 Next hour is spoken for. 161 00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:25,160 You could've just said no. 162 00:06:25,210 --> 00:06:27,370 I'm trying to keep the romance alive. 163 00:06:30,349 --> 00:06:31,849 Hey, why don't we look around for wedding rings 164 00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:33,340 - in Tennessee? - Hmm. 165 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,100 Maybe they sell them at Dollywood. 166 00:06:35,820 --> 00:06:38,260 If it's all the same, I'd rather not get my wedding ring 167 00:06:38,310 --> 00:06:40,020 at the same place they sell corn dogs. 168 00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:42,040 Oh, corn dogs. 169 00:06:42,090 --> 00:06:44,060 - We're definitely getting corn dogs. - (LAUGHS) 170 00:06:45,190 --> 00:06:47,670 You know, through all the rush, we didn't really talk about it, 171 00:06:47,700 --> 00:06:49,730 but are you gonna take my name? 172 00:06:51,190 --> 00:06:52,610 Is it important to you? 173 00:06:52,663 --> 00:06:55,860 I don't know, I'd kind of like people to know we're a family. 174 00:06:55,910 --> 00:06:57,060 You know, the Coopers, 175 00:06:57,110 --> 00:06:59,070 Georgie and Mandy Cooper. (LAUGHS SOFTLY) 176 00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:00,409 I'd go to a barbecue at their house. 177 00:07:00,410 --> 00:07:01,710 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 178 00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:03,200 Well, why don't you take my name? 179 00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:05,220 I'm trying to have a serious conversation, 180 00:07:05,270 --> 00:07:06,410 and you're making jokes. 181 00:07:06,468 --> 00:07:07,790 Why is it a joke? 182 00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:09,930 Maybe that'd fly in New York City, 183 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:12,090 but in Texas, I'd get my ass kicked. 184 00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:13,790 Maybe we should move to New York City. 185 00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:16,260 Okay, there's just some things you don't joke about. 186 00:07:17,180 --> 00:07:20,430 And the thing you need to know about slot machines 187 00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:25,510 is that they provide the house with a 17% edge. 188 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:27,030 And that... 189 00:07:28,010 --> 00:07:31,650 is a whole lot of edge for Meemaw and your daddy. 190 00:07:33,537 --> 00:07:35,040 Huh? 191 00:07:36,748 --> 00:07:38,240 Ooh, that ain't good. 192 00:07:41,990 --> 00:07:44,040 - Excuse me. - I don't work here! 193 00:07:48,290 --> 00:07:49,620 (SIREN WHOOPS) 194 00:07:51,013 --> 00:07:53,710 OFFICER (OVER P.A.): Connie Tucker? Please stop running. 195 00:07:53,765 --> 00:07:56,380 (SIREN WAILING) 196 00:07:58,950 --> 00:08:00,180 GILROY: (GASPS) 197 00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:03,660 Peekaboo. Oh, yeah, that's funny. (GASPS) 198 00:08:03,710 --> 00:08:05,430 Peekaboo. 199 00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:06,480 Hey. 200 00:08:07,190 --> 00:08:08,270 Took you long enough. 201 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,070 Yeah, I'm old. I had to go to the bathroom. 202 00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:12,730 Why are you handcuffed? Why is she handcuffed? 203 00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:15,320 - She's a flight risk. - What is she talking about? 204 00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:17,800 I was just taking the baby for a walk, 205 00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:19,430 and Cagney and Lacey here 206 00:08:19,460 --> 00:08:22,150 decided that I was evading arrest. 207 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:24,740 Oh, Connie. H-How much is bail? 208 00:08:24,796 --> 00:08:25,990 Won't know till Monday. 209 00:08:26,048 --> 00:08:27,870 - What? - Judge left town for the weekend. 210 00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:29,330 Well, get him back. 211 00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:30,750 Can't. Gone fishing. 212 00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:32,790 Beautiful day for it. Where'd he go? 213 00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:34,750 - Dale. - Right. 214 00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:37,000 You mean I got to sit here till Monday? 215 00:08:37,059 --> 00:08:38,600 Well, you'll be back in a cell. 216 00:08:38,650 --> 00:08:40,760 Where all the bad people go. 217 00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:41,840 (COOS) 218 00:08:41,897 --> 00:08:43,070 Oh, my God. 219 00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:45,930 Dale, take the baby home. 220 00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:48,180 Me? Why don't you call Mary? 221 00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:50,810 The last thing I want is for her to know about this. 222 00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:52,190 I'll watch the baby if you like. 223 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,150 There you go, problem solved. 224 00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:57,150 No. Take the baby. 225 00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:58,520 (GROANS) 226 00:08:59,380 --> 00:09:00,980 Yeah. 227 00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:03,860 Well, is there anything I can bring you? 228 00:09:03,919 --> 00:09:06,450 Yeah, a cake with a file in it. 229 00:09:06,505 --> 00:09:08,120 (LAUGHS): Good one. 230 00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:09,410 DALE: Thank you, Officer. 231 00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:13,370 Can I give the flight risk a kiss goodbye? 232 00:09:13,428 --> 00:09:14,790 That's up to her. 233 00:09:14,846 --> 00:09:17,030 - I'm good. - She's good. 234 00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:19,380 Okay, CeeCee, here we go. 235 00:09:21,230 --> 00:09:22,300 Bye, baby. 236 00:09:22,354 --> 00:09:24,680 Next rest stop, let's call and check on CeeCee. 237 00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:27,470 She's fine. She's with my meemaw. 238 00:09:28,250 --> 00:09:30,350 Yeah, you're right, I'm worrying for nothing. 239 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,830 All right, let's get you to your cell. 240 00:09:35,900 --> 00:09:38,530 So, that beautiful little girl is your granddaughter? 241 00:09:38,580 --> 00:09:40,360 Great-granddaughter. 242 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,270 I never locked up a great-grandma before. 243 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:45,780 Well, isn't this your lucky day? 244 00:09:45,836 --> 00:09:47,150 (PHONE RINGING) 245 00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:50,530 Sheldon, phone. 246 00:09:51,620 --> 00:09:53,930 187 IQ and I'm a receptionist. 247 00:09:53,980 --> 00:09:55,550 (SNIFFLES) 248 00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:57,170 Cooper residence. 249 00:09:57,222 --> 00:09:59,030 Hello, Mr. Ballard. 250 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:01,670 He's here. May I tell him what this is concerning? 251 00:10:02,460 --> 00:10:04,410 I may not? Very well. 252 00:10:04,460 --> 00:10:05,760 Dad, it's Mr. Ballard. 253 00:10:05,814 --> 00:10:07,300 I'll pick it up in here. 254 00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:09,010 Which you could've done to begin with. 255 00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:12,170 Hey, Dale, what's up? 256 00:10:13,850 --> 00:10:14,940 You're kidding. 257 00:10:14,990 --> 00:10:16,940 - Till Monday? - What's going on? 258 00:10:16,992 --> 00:10:18,000 Shh! 259 00:10:18,020 --> 00:10:19,690 Well, is there anything I can do? 260 00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:21,570 Yeah, I know a couple lawyers. 261 00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:24,190 - Who needs a lawyer? - Meemaw's in jail. 262 00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:25,440 Hang up. 263 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,120 What's she in jail for? 264 00:10:30,172 --> 00:10:32,410 I'm not sure. Some kind of room got shut down. 265 00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:34,700 - Oh, the gambling room. - What? 266 00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:36,219 Yeah, in the back of the laundromat. 267 00:10:36,230 --> 00:10:37,710 Isn't that illegal? 268 00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:40,270 Yeah, that's why she's in jail. 269 00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:42,350 She tried to run? 270 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:44,430 (CHUCKLES) Oh, that... 271 00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:46,260 Oh, that makes me so happy. 272 00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:50,010 ♪ Met her on the mountain ♪ 273 00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:52,890 ♪ There I took her life ♪ 274 00:10:54,446 --> 00:10:57,070 ♪ Met her on the mountain ♪ 275 00:10:57,850 --> 00:11:00,310 - (FUSSING) - ♪ Stabbed her with my knife. ♪ 276 00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:01,480 (CRYING) 277 00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:04,150 Yeah, it's kind of a sad one. 278 00:11:04,206 --> 00:11:06,690 Yeah. You'll like this one. 279 00:11:08,830 --> 00:11:11,730 ♪ Delia, oh, Delia ♪ 280 00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:15,400 ♪ Delia all my life ♪ 281 00:11:16,060 --> 00:11:19,440 ♪ If I hadn't shot poor Delia. ♪ 282 00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:23,330 Here you go. This is for you. 283 00:11:26,140 --> 00:11:28,810 ♪ Hey, yeah, baby ♪ 284 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:31,930 ♪ Shake it on down. ♪ 285 00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:33,850 - (COOING) - That's the one. 286 00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:35,430 - That's the one. - (DOORBELL RINGS) 287 00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:38,810 We got company. 288 00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:42,980 - Hey, Mare. - George told me about the arrest. 289 00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,860 Oh. Yeah. Boy, I know how to pick 'em, huh? 290 00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:47,150 Is she okay? 291 00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:49,280 Oh, yeah, she's a tough old bird. 292 00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:51,730 Well, let me take the baby off your hands 293 00:11:51,780 --> 00:11:52,950 till the kids come back. 294 00:11:53,620 --> 00:11:56,660 Well, but we're having such a good time. 295 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,710 - Dale. - She likes me. 296 00:11:58,760 --> 00:11:59,920 Dale. 297 00:11:59,970 --> 00:12:01,050 (SIGHS) 298 00:12:01,100 --> 00:12:02,710 Oh. Fine. 299 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:05,230 You get the baby, I'll grab her Binky. 300 00:12:06,300 --> 00:12:08,250 You know, she really does like me. 301 00:12:09,500 --> 00:12:10,630 So, here's a question. 302 00:12:10,689 --> 00:12:12,050 What? 303 00:12:12,107 --> 00:12:14,220 You think CeeCee's gonna be an only child? 304 00:12:15,740 --> 00:12:18,300 I don't know. For a while she is. Why? 305 00:12:19,070 --> 00:12:21,200 Well, since we're man and wife now, 306 00:12:21,250 --> 00:12:22,500 we got to make plans. 307 00:12:22,550 --> 00:12:25,230 I'm almost back in my old jeans. This can wait. 308 00:12:25,287 --> 00:12:28,210 Well, I'm just saying, I liked having a brother and sister. 309 00:12:28,260 --> 00:12:29,650 Don't you like having a brother? 310 00:12:29,708 --> 00:12:31,030 Eh. 311 00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:33,030 So, y'all didn't get along? 312 00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:35,160 I picked on him. I made him cry a lot. 313 00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:37,350 That's what I did with Sheldon. 314 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:38,910 Don't you want CeeCee to have that? 315 00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:42,160 Just so you know, my plans include more than making babies 316 00:12:42,210 --> 00:12:43,490 so they can pick on each other. 317 00:12:43,540 --> 00:12:46,290 - I want a career. - I support that. 318 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:49,080 And maybe go back to school. 319 00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:52,600 Curveball, but okay. 320 00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:55,316 I don't have to go back to school, do I? 321 00:12:55,317 --> 00:12:56,550 Oh, no, sweetheart. 322 00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,080 Thank you. 323 00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:00,080 (DOORBELL RINGS) 324 00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,650 Hey there. Alice, isn't it? 325 00:13:04,701 --> 00:13:06,970 - Audrey. - Right. 326 00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:08,400 What can I do for you, Audrey? 327 00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,280 I came to visit my granddaughter. 328 00:13:10,332 --> 00:13:12,700 - Not here. - Where is she? 329 00:13:12,751 --> 00:13:15,370 Well, as they say in Canada, 330 00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:17,470 she's "oot and aboot." 331 00:13:20,008 --> 00:13:22,550 So, if I'm to understand correctly, 332 00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:25,040 our meemaw's been running a criminal enterprise. 333 00:13:25,096 --> 00:13:26,097 Cool, huh? 334 00:13:26,100 --> 00:13:27,620 No, it is most certainly not cool. 335 00:13:27,670 --> 00:13:30,550 On the one hand, people need to pay for their crimes. 336 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:32,180 On the other, if Meemaw's in prison, 337 00:13:32,230 --> 00:13:34,380 who's gonna smell like Bengay and kiss me on the head? 338 00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:37,260 She's an old lady, they're not gonna lock her up forever. 339 00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:39,280 I sure hope not. 340 00:13:40,550 --> 00:13:42,930 Are there any other family secrets that I don't know about? 341 00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:46,650 Um... actually, yes. 342 00:13:46,701 --> 00:13:47,730 Tell me. 343 00:13:47,786 --> 00:13:50,570 - No, you couldn't handle it. - Now I have to know. 344 00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:52,250 Okay. 345 00:13:52,260 --> 00:13:54,079 You ever wonder why Mom made that prayer garden 346 00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:56,160 - in the back yard? - To pray. 347 00:13:56,211 --> 00:13:58,050 You're so naive. 348 00:13:58,100 --> 00:14:00,040 (WHISPERS): There's a dead body under there. 349 00:14:00,090 --> 00:14:01,290 Whose? 350 00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:02,950 I've already said too much. 351 00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,790 (DOORBELL RINGS) 352 00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:07,330 Hey, Audrey. 353 00:14:07,389 --> 00:14:09,870 - Where's Mary? - She's, uh... 354 00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:11,300 (CLEARS THROAT) Mare! 355 00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:13,800 Oh. 356 00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,880 - Hi. - Why do you have the baby? 357 00:14:15,939 --> 00:14:17,500 Um... 358 00:14:17,550 --> 00:14:19,470 It's kind of a long story. 359 00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,800 Why do you have the baby? 360 00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:25,520 My mother was arrested, she's in jail. 361 00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:29,140 I can't get a straight answer from anybody in this family. 362 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:33,940 A gambling room? 363 00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:35,120 Yes. 364 00:14:35,170 --> 00:14:37,790 And she'd been bribing the authorities? 365 00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:39,550 I wouldn't use that word, 366 00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:41,450 but there were... 367 00:14:41,500 --> 00:14:44,870 donations made to the authorities. 368 00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:46,290 And Georgie worked there? 369 00:14:46,340 --> 00:14:48,920 Well, he also runs the laundromat. 370 00:14:48,970 --> 00:14:50,170 Very legitimate. 371 00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:51,500 For money laundering. 372 00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:53,340 And regular laundering. 373 00:14:53,390 --> 00:14:54,890 (SOFTLY): I can't believe this. 374 00:14:54,940 --> 00:14:58,470 What kind of a family has my daughter married into? 375 00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:01,930 To be clear, I did not condone any of this. 376 00:15:01,985 --> 00:15:04,700 Doesn't matter. This is a criminal environment, 377 00:15:04,750 --> 00:15:05,850 and I'm taking the baby. 378 00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:06,910 (GASPS) 379 00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:09,140 Over my dead body. 380 00:15:09,190 --> 00:15:11,000 CeeCee is my granddaughter, too, 381 00:15:11,050 --> 00:15:12,820 and she is perfectly safe here. 382 00:15:12,871 --> 00:15:17,140 Well, as long as she's here, I'm here. 383 00:15:17,890 --> 00:15:19,280 Fine. 384 00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:21,720 Are you hungry? 385 00:15:21,770 --> 00:15:24,330 I have half a bucket of spaghetti in the fridge. 386 00:15:25,110 --> 00:15:26,330 I could eat. 387 00:15:27,170 --> 00:15:29,110 All right, I'll go heat it up. 388 00:15:34,420 --> 00:15:37,100 (SCOFFS) What? You think I'm gonna take the baby and run? 389 00:15:37,150 --> 00:15:39,300 Yes. Would you like some garlic bread? 390 00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:41,020 That sounds nice. 391 00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,850 You know, we should really start looking for our own place. 392 00:15:44,903 --> 00:15:46,220 You think? 393 00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:49,230 I mean, the gambling room's doing great, 394 00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:50,349 and since we put in the roulette wheel, 395 00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:51,940 we're basically printing money. 396 00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:54,520 (SIGHS) Sure would like to have my own bathroom. 397 00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:56,790 (SIGHS) Your own bathroom, 398 00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:58,350 one of them walk-in shoe closets 399 00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:00,760 like on Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. 400 00:16:01,419 --> 00:16:03,870 And carpet everywhere, even in the kitchen. 401 00:16:03,922 --> 00:16:05,200 That's a terrible idea. 402 00:16:05,256 --> 00:16:07,220 'Cause of spilling and crumbs, sure. 403 00:16:07,270 --> 00:16:09,000 Point is, I want to spoil you, 404 00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:11,290 so whatever you want. 405 00:16:11,346 --> 00:16:12,450 ♪ ♪ 406 00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:16,430 Well, right now, I just want you. 407 00:16:17,352 --> 00:16:18,800 Really? Now? 408 00:16:18,853 --> 00:16:20,050 Yeah. 409 00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:21,630 Hot damn. 410 00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:24,800 Just so you know, I promised my dad I'd use condoms. 411 00:16:24,850 --> 00:16:25,960 MANDY (CHUCKLES): Good. 412 00:16:27,270 --> 00:16:28,760 (CAR DOOR CLOSES) 413 00:16:29,310 --> 00:16:30,560 Now what? 414 00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:32,970 (SIGHS) 415 00:16:33,970 --> 00:16:35,270 Hey. 416 00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:36,820 Did you escape? 417 00:16:36,871 --> 00:16:39,990 Nah, they just brought me over to pick up my pills and pj's. 418 00:16:40,041 --> 00:16:42,160 Oh, that's nice. 419 00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:43,570 Are you drunk? 420 00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:45,650 Uh, yeah, it sure feels like it. 421 00:16:50,500 --> 00:16:51,540 And where's the baby? 422 00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:53,460 Don't worry, she's not here. 423 00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,880 - Where is she? - Mary's got her. 424 00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:57,170 So she knows about me? 425 00:16:57,225 --> 00:16:58,580 Yeah. 426 00:16:58,630 --> 00:17:00,050 (SIREN WHOOPS) 427 00:17:00,103 --> 00:17:01,850 My chariot awaits. 428 00:17:01,900 --> 00:17:02,970 DALE: Oh. 429 00:17:04,110 --> 00:17:05,390 Did you have diner? 430 00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:08,810 They ordered in some pizza from Del Bonos. 431 00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:10,050 That sounds good. 432 00:17:10,100 --> 00:17:12,730 - I had cold spaghetti. - MEEMAW: All right. 433 00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:13,800 (PILLS RATTLING) 434 00:17:13,850 --> 00:17:15,760 Well, I'll see you Monday. 435 00:17:16,390 --> 00:17:18,440 Well, they have visiting hours. 436 00:17:18,496 --> 00:17:20,030 I can come tomorrow morning. 437 00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:21,490 Not till 1:00. 438 00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:23,920 Oh, I see. My game's on. 439 00:17:23,970 --> 00:17:27,240 - So, how about 4:30 or 5:00? - I'll see you Monday. 440 00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:29,540 - All right. See ya. - (DOOR OPENS, CLOSES) 441 00:17:30,630 --> 00:17:32,550 Well, why does she get pizza? 442 00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:33,950 I want pizza. 443 00:17:36,510 --> 00:17:38,840 - Thanks for coming by. - Yeah, what's the situation? 444 00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:40,920 Well, right now it's kind of a standoff. 445 00:17:40,970 --> 00:17:43,103 They're eating spaghetti, and Mary's holding the baby hostage. 446 00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:44,430 All right. What's our play? 447 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:45,939 Well, I figured we'll be dealing with each other 448 00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:48,470 for the rest of our lives, so we got to keep things civil. 449 00:17:48,526 --> 00:17:50,529 - I'm with you. - (STAMMERS) Let me start by saying, 450 00:17:50,530 --> 00:17:51,770 you are a pleasure. 451 00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:53,850 (CHUCKLES): Oh, back at you. 452 00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,560 And your daughter is a keeper. 453 00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:57,190 And your son is a fine young man. 454 00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:58,650 Thank you. 455 00:17:58,700 --> 00:18:00,400 So, you ready to do this? 456 00:18:00,455 --> 00:18:01,610 I'm right behind you. 457 00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:03,950 ♪ ♪ 458 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,960 Hey, Mare, look who stopped by. 459 00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:08,610 - (CRICKETS CHIRPING) - (CLOCK TICKING) 460 00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:14,950 Mmm, it's good coffee. 461 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,120 Is that Folgers? 462 00:18:16,179 --> 00:18:17,830 Maxwell House. 463 00:18:17,889 --> 00:18:20,810 JIM: Ah, sure. Good to the last drop. 464 00:18:20,860 --> 00:18:22,410 Uh, Audrey, am I crazy, 465 00:18:22,460 --> 00:18:24,340 or didn't we used to drink Maxwell House? 466 00:18:24,390 --> 00:18:25,410 Yes. 467 00:18:25,460 --> 00:18:27,230 Mm-hmm. Hmm. 468 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:28,430 Why'd we change? 469 00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:30,920 It's a mystery. 470 00:18:30,970 --> 00:18:32,060 (CHUCKLES) 471 00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,290 Speaking of mysteries, 472 00:18:33,340 --> 00:18:36,040 Mary, did you ever find that earring you were looking for? 473 00:18:36,950 --> 00:18:38,350 (CLEARS THROAT) 474 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:40,440 Family heirloom just gone. 475 00:18:40,495 --> 00:18:42,610 Maybe her mother stole it. 476 00:18:42,664 --> 00:18:43,664 (EXHALES SHARPLY) 477 00:18:43,670 --> 00:18:45,050 I am not holding the baby anymore, 478 00:18:45,100 --> 00:18:46,320 so you better watch it. 479 00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:50,160 Audrey's uncle was a bank robber. 480 00:18:50,213 --> 00:18:52,620 - Jim! - He's in Leavenworth. 481 00:18:52,674 --> 00:18:54,790 He's my uncle by marriage. 482 00:18:54,842 --> 00:18:59,040 Look, a-all I'm saying is every family's got secrets, right? 483 00:18:59,097 --> 00:19:01,500 We sure got some skeletons in the closet. 484 00:19:01,550 --> 00:19:03,090 MARY: We do not. 485 00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:04,760 Other than my mother. 486 00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:06,590 - (BREATHES DEEPLY) - And? 487 00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:08,220 (MARY SIGHS) 488 00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:11,300 My cousin Janine is a practicing witch, but that's it. 489 00:19:12,735 --> 00:19:14,640 - Worships Satan. - (SIGHS HEAVILY) 490 00:19:14,696 --> 00:19:16,860 I got you beat. 491 00:19:16,910 --> 00:19:18,500 My brother William... 492 00:19:19,340 --> 00:19:21,230 (WHISPERS): He's a Democrat. 493 00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:22,940 He voted for Mondale. 494 00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:25,320 - Aw, I'm so sorry. - JIM: Mm. 495 00:19:25,373 --> 00:19:27,820 Actually, feels good to talk about it. 496 00:19:31,460 --> 00:19:34,490 (CRICKETS CHIRPING) 497 00:19:34,540 --> 00:19:36,660 Are you sure there's a body down here? 498 00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:38,760 Oh, yeah, keep digging. 499 00:19:40,050 --> 00:19:42,810 ADULT SHELDON: I'd like to tell you I found something that night, 500 00:19:42,860 --> 00:19:45,590 but for once you all might be ahead of me. 501 00:19:45,643 --> 00:19:49,790 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 34905

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