Original subtitles

A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES

[Ling] That girl thinks the sun shines out of your butt.

She has the biggest crush on you. She's sweet and really digs you.

IN THE DREAM, RYU MEETS HIS ANGEL FOR THE FIRST TIME...

[upbeat music playing]

[Guo breathing heavily and groaning]

Fuck!

[Guo groans] Fuck me!

That psycho whore really...

Fuck!

It hurts to breathe.

-[groans] -[man] Yeah.

Of course, it hurts.

Fuck.

Look.

Your ribs are broken in three places.

Of course, it hurts to breathe.

You shouldn't move too much. Of course, stay put.

Don't fuck around.

If your ribs end up breaking again, of course...

-I know. I know. -[doctor] You'll be in serious shit.

Idiot.

[he grunts]

[he groans]

Ah Zhong, this is Guo. Long time no see.

I need you to look into someone.

Some cunt whore.

Yeah.

MARRIAGE COMPATIBILITY

NI DAUGHTER - BORN - JULY '94 KIM SON - BORN - MAY '94

[Ni Boss sighs]

[whispers] Shit.

[cell phone vibrates]

CHIN

[he sighs and grunts]

[cell phone continues vibrating]

Hello, old friend.

[he laughs]

Of course, no problem.

I was about to call, but as usual, you got there first.

Great minds dance to the same beat.

[Chin laughs]

I've missed you.

-Oh, how sweet! -You sound as virile as ever.

Full of vim and va-va-voom. [he laughs]

I just sent you a fortune about our kids' happy arrangement.

Did it arrive?

Absolutely. I'm looking at it now.

[Chin] The fortune-teller foretold of a very fruitful match.

They will be popping out babies like popcorn.

A big bucket full of babies. [laughing]

Crazy old bastard.

-[Chin] Huh? What? -Huh?

I was just daydreaming about a swimming pool full of babies.

[both laugh]

I'd swim in that pool!

The fortune-teller advised that we throw the wedding this year.

Pronto!

I'm making arrangements for a visit to friendly old Taiwan.

Come again? Uh-huh.

You'll be in Taiwan soon?

[Chin] I'd like a close-up of my future daughter-in-law

over some drinks with my old friend.

Let's lock and load this wedding. Yes?

See you in a couple days.

[he laughs] Well, yay! Bye-bye.

[he groans]

-Come here. -[man] Yes, Boss Ni, what is it?

Issue the Dragon Order now.

Boss Ni.

[siren wailing]

Greetings, my distinguished clan leaders.

First of all,

I would like to thank you for responding to the order and attending this meeting.

I'm very grateful.

Boss Ni, we shall always honor the Dragon Order.

Boss Ni, say the word and we'll fight for you with all of our power.

[clan leaders] That's right!

[man 1] Check here.

[Boss Ni] I need all of your help to find my daughter.

-[man 2] Have you seen her? -[man 3] Not your business.

[man 4] Have you seen her?

-[man 5] Have you seen her? -[man 6] You seen this young lady?

Boss Ni, please forgive me for asking,

but is it necessary to issue the Dragon Order just to find her?

Absolutely, because she's arranged to marry the son

of the Golden Dragon Triad boss in Hong Kong!

[clan leaders] Oh, shit!

That's why I'm desperate for your help.

[all] Yes, Boss Ni!

-It's Dong! -Hey!

-Shit's going down. -Happy arresting.

Call me.

-Hey, rookie. -[man 1] Sir.

Send this out after you've checked it.

-Hi, deputy. -Dong.

-What's up? -Where's the captain?

Back there flipping out. I have to patrol now.

-Nerd. -[deputy] Goodbye.

[clears throat]

-Hey, Dong. -Sergeant.

-Anything down and dirty? -This week's been fucking crazy as shit.

-Oh, is business naughty? -Talk later.

-[deputy] Move your ass. -[sergeant] OK! Coming.

-[man 2] Hi, Dong. -Hey.

Captain.

-[Dong laughs] -Fucking, Dong.

Your sweet honey order.

What does your hustling ass want?

Daddy's hungry. Why is everyone out sniffing around?

The Cosmos gang is mobilizing their men.

-Hmm... -[Dong] All those crazy killers in heat?

-Dong... -[Dong] Hmm?

Your buzzard ass has been flying everywhere.

-So, where's the rest of my honey? -You know how it is.

No news, no money, honey.

Scoops pay for my laundry.

So, what you're not saying and what I didn't hear is...

the Cosmos gang is mobilizing? What's cooking?

Don't breathe on me.

[Dong sighs]

Alright, here's your scoop.

The daughter of Kun Ni, boss of the Cosmos gang,

is missing from her hive,

so Daddy's issued The Dragon Order to get her back.

-The Dragon Order? -Mm-hmm.

Sounds hot.

Chief Lo...

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY

...I'm bursting with a headline.

"The most nauseating meal in law enforcement history.

Triad boss's daughter goes banana split.

The mysterious Dragon Order is served. Taiwan's underworld salivating."

What do you say? A dish worth digging into?

[laughing]

[both laughing]

-Horrible idea. -[Dong gasps]

I told you to tail Yi-Hang Xu,

yet you insist on crawling up the police's asses.

[sighs] Yi-Hang is a God damn hermit.

Even his dates with Ling Yun are a damn staycation.

They're boning corpses. Humping alley dogs are juicer.

But this Dragon Order fiasco...

-Big Chief, that's our ticket! -How fucked up are you?

Use your dumpling of a brain for once.

Fuck with the Triad and you'll have no balls left to fuck with.

Pulling down Boss Ni's dirty underwear isn't shit you wanna smell.

-Stick to Yi-Hang's ass. -OK. Fine!

I'll watch boring Yi-Hang.

Listen...

while you're on top of his ass, try digging deeper.

Find something hot we can barter for extra cash.

I see you!

[he grunts]

[Dong laughing] [phone rings]

Hey. You done stuffing your pie holes?

Psst. Hey.

You done stuffing your damn pie holes?

[he yawns]

-Mr. Gui. -[Gui] What now?

It's too early. Ms. Angie wouldn't get up this early for anything.

You fat gerbil.

Actually, your IQ is dumber than a gerbil's.

Boss Ni issued the Dragon Order for the whole triad.

While the Ni minions are searching fruitlessly, chasing their own asses,

we're ingeniously staking out Angie's BFF.

So, when he leaves work, we'll follow his ass

and he will lead us to wherever missy is hiding out now.

You stupid gerbil. [laughing]

-[Pineapple laughs] -That's fucking smart.

Your IQ's smarter than any gerbil. [laughing]

[Gui] Just don't speak.

-[Radish] Hey, hey, hey! -[Gui] We're off. He's leaving. Get down.

[leaves rustling]

That's right, come to daddy. That's a good boy. Yes.

Where the hell are you going?

[funky music playing]

[Ding Ding sighs]

[he breathes deeply]

[she laughs]

[Pineapple and Radish growling]

[Radish] Bring us Ms. Angie!

Angie! A bunch of Ni men are here for you! [whimpers]

[Gui grunts]

[she gasps]

Go!

[he yells]

What the fuck? [groans]

[romantic music playing]

-[Radish] Mr. Gui, you OK? -[Gui sighs]

I'm fabulous.

You take care of Ms. Angie...

I'll take care of him.

[chuckles]

[panting] Fuckety fuck!

[groans] Screw you, Gui!

[she sighs]

[Angie panting]

I'll climb on my own. Leave me alone. I'm scared of heights.

-[man 1] She's here! Ms. Angie! -[man 2] Come with us!

[man 1] Tackle her!

-Grab her! -[Angie] Let me alone!

[man 1] Stop, Ms. Angie! Relax!

[all grunting]

-Chill the fuck out. -[man 3] Don't fuck with us!

[man 1] Ouch! She got me in the balls!

-[man 2] Hey, Ms. Angie! Stop! -[man 4] Pull her back!

[she screams]

["Por Una Cabeza" by Carlos Gardel playing]

[tango music continues]

[music ends]

[Gui panting]

Hey, kids, come over here. Come over here.

I wanna ask you, have you seen the girl in this photo?

[children together] Yes!

Cool! So, do you know where she is now?

[children together] She's over there!

[laughs] I'm sorry. I didn't get a good look.

One more time. Which way did she go?

-Over there! -Over there!

These little people don't look trustworthy at all.

What bullshit!

Shits are smarter than us. They're hiding something.

Forget it. We'll find her on our own.

OK, you win. Keep playing, you little shits.

Bye-bye.

Jesus Christ! Where the hell did she go?

[Pineapple] Maybe she's behind that tree.

[children together] Hey, lady! They are all gone now.

[giggles] Yay! Thank you so much.

You're the best!

Here you go.

- A hundred bucks a piece. -Thank you.

-Get a ton of candy. -Thank you.

-Here. Buy a candy store. -Thank you.

[Angie] Thanks for saving my life.

Here.

What's the matter?

I won the award for the best child performer of the year,

but my mom took away all my prize money.

So, how's that my fault?

Here.

Another hundred bucks. Buy your mom some candy.

My mom makes my dad give her the blue bills.

No shit.

You'll go far. Here.

-[boy] Score! -[she laughs]

[both chuckle]

What do you like to drink?

I'll have...

what you're having.

How about... we share a drink?

Great idea!

[chuckles]

Waitress.

-[waitress] Hi, what can I get for you? -One glass of "Deep Dark Secret".

-More to come. -[waitress] Delicious. I'll take that.

Thanks.

-[waitress] Pardon me, sir. -Oh.

-[he laughs] -[Gui] Excuse me.

[cell phone vibrating]

ANGIE

I'm busy now.

[laughing]

MS. ANGIE

[he groans]

You gonna answer?

It can wait.

[automates voice] If you would like to leave a message,

please wait after the beep.

You little fuck, Gui. Wasn't I treating you well?

And how do you repay me? Snitch on my ass all along!

You better take cover, motherfucker.

When I see you, I'm gonna chop you up so nice.

I'll feed you to a lizard.

[she gasps]

Be so kind and pick up. [chuckles]

I'll make sure that nothing happens to you when you walk home all alone at night.

Why are you all still hanging around?

[all together] We want you to give us the blue bill too now.

OK... [chuckles]

Little shits.

I was an orphan.

If it wasn't for Boss Ni,

I would still be pickpocketing.

[chuckles]

-You were a pickpocket? -Yeah, but only as a kid.

Well, then you must have dexterous hands.

Yes, I do.

Very dexterous hands. [chuckles]

-And what about you? -Me?

Well, Angie and I were at middle school together.

[Gui] Oh, yeah.

I knew I was gay early on,

so I got bullied a lot as a kid,

but Angie always stood up for me.

-[Gui] She's fucking awesome. -She's always been the most loyal friend.

-You know? -Totally.

Once, she threatened the judges at a singing competition

so they'd pass me through the next round.

-So, you're a singer? -[Ding Ding] Yes.

My dream is to be a singer-songwriter.

Would you do me the honor...

of hearing you sing?

[laughs]

Uh, right here?

Yes, yes, yes. Please.

-Mm-hmm. -[Gui sighs]

♪ Oh... ♪

[Gui sighs]

♪ This world is changing too fast ♪

♪ All that's left for me now ♪

♪ Are regrets of what I didn't do ♪

♪ Oh... ♪

♪ But as I lay here slowly dying ♪

♪ The very thought of you ♪

♪ Turns my regrets ♪

♪ Into common sense ♪

Yes!

[sighs in relief]

It's done!

[grunts]

Can I give it a try?

-One, two... -Three!

Try it again.

-[laughs] -[cell phone ringing]

[cell phone continues ringing]

[car horn honking]

[she squeals]

OK, watch.

-Whoops. -Whoa! You figured it out!

Here. To beating this level.

Thanks.

[he grunts]

Come on, drink up. Our goal is Level 300.

-Level 300! -Cheers!

-Mm! -Mm!

[Angie] Ahh.

-You nearly finished your script? -[Yi-Hang] Yes.

[Angie] That's so great.

-[arcade game music playing] -[he sighs]

Could I take a peek?

Later I'll show you. Let's beat this first. Get warmed up.

-Aww. -[he chuckles]

Here we go. Level 300.

-[Angie chuckles] -[he grunts]

Since you're done writing, how soon before you shoot it?

When I can direct it.

-Director? -Mm-hmm.

Why won't you star yourself?

[he laughs]

Wow! I know this.

[she sighs]

Oh!

I remember this.

[she laughs]

[he chuckles]

-Whoa, look at this. This is awesome. -You asked why I won't play the lead?

Because of him -

the protagonist in "The Enemy Line".

I saw that one.

Your sex. So cool.

[chuckles] You liked it?

Mm-hmm.

That was the first movie I was in,

but that wasn't actually the role that I wanted.

I wanted to play the villain.

But after the director saw me,

he thought that I would be better fit for a more heroic role.

So, after that movie came out,

the only roles that I got offered were heroes

and self-righteous heartthrobs.

So, I figured, since no one wants to see me play the villain,

OK, I might as well write the part for myself and direct it.

Sure. Of course, you can.

Did you tell Ms. Kwong about it?

Yeah.

[Angie] What did she say?

She...

She doesn't like it.

Oh, poo!

She thinks it will screw with my image or maybe she thinks I'm not ready yet.

-So, I'm waiting. -[she sighs]

Ignore it and don't listen to her.

-Huh? -Just screw Ms. Kwong!

An actor should play all kinds of roles.

Heroes, villains, vegetables. Why can't you play the villain?

If you were the bad guy, you'd kick ass.

[he chuckles]

I read more of the story. I really liked it.

-That part about Rayu... -Hold on. Uh, you really liked it?

I fucking loved it! I cried after reading the first time.

I just loved Rayu's close bond with his brother.

Probably because I'm from a big family of men,

but I'm the only daughter,

so I was jealous of their deep brotherly bond.

Oh, this one great scene. Oh, my God.

It moved me so much.

Where the main character faces the villain

and the main character, I noticed, whenever you describe his fighting...

-[she grunts] -[he laughs]

...he never backed down from anything.

But the villain was a cheating bastard and used cheap tricks.

He pissed me off!

But that's what made all the difference between the main character and villain.

Oh!

And that awesome gun fight when Rayu...

picked up the machine gun, prepared to pull the trigger...

With one look...

[mimics gunshot]

[romantic music playing]

[she giggles]

[both chuckling]

[she sighs]

[plates clattering]

[laughs] Hello.

Morning.

How is it? Is it good?

Mm!

[she giggles]

So, Angie, I start work at 10:30 today, so I have to leave by 10 a.m.

I'm happy to drive you.

That's OK. I can go on my own.

-I'm used to going alone. -Mm-hmm.

-[Yi-Hang] Angie. -Hmm?

Let me drive you home.

It's OK.

I'm used to going home alone.

Have a good day at work.

-[door closes] -[alarm beeps]

-[she sighs] -[Yi-Hang] Angie!

[approaching footsteps]

[Yi-Hang panting]

Mm...

Angie, I'm really sorry about earlier.

I wanted to ask you about something, but I don't know how to start.

[he sighs]

Uh...

Would you...

be my...

be my...

[he chuckles]

Would you be my girlfriend?

[giggling]

[laughing]

♪ Good morning to you My favorite person on Earth ♪

[they chuckle]

♪ There's something about you That meakes me sing all day through ♪

♪ So hear me now, I'll write you a love song ♪

This is my door code.

I've changed it, so only the two of us know it.

♪ Oh baby, all I see, I know... ♪

[she giggles]

[Angie] Thank you.

Hey.

Thank you.

[giggling]

♪ Out of this big, big world... ♪

[camera shutter clicking]

Ah-ha!

Oh...

-[Dong chuckles] -[Radish] Who's that?

A stray dog.

Huh? He's so busted.

-[clears throat] -[ringing tone]

Mr. Gui, some fucker's taking photos of Yi-Hang and Ms. Angie.

[Gui] Hold on. Excuse me. Follow his ass. Sniff out what he's up to.

Got it! [laughs]

[growls]

[woman] Fashion week conflicts with Ling Yun's shooting schedule.

I talked to the producer.

He said someone stole the petty cash, so he can't afford any delays.

Schedule it anyway. I'll handle the Coke ad producer.

[woman] Can I show you the outfits the designers are offering?

-Some are busty and some aren't. -[Kwong] Show us.

[woman] This is the most busty and colorful, this one looks like a nun.

Ling Yun, how exposed do you want it?

[she sighs]

Yeah, it looks fine.

-Can I go to the restroom? -[Kwong] Mm-hmm.

[woman] The next dress has an African savanna design.

-It's a little wilder. -Next one.

Yep, sorry.

[breathing deeply]

[ringing]

Hi?

[Guo] Oh, hello, super star.

What do you want?

Just wondering if you still miss your son.

You know. More than anything.

[he laughs]

Did I hear that right?

You seriously miss your boy?

Then make me believe you or go fuck yourself!

How could you send someone to beat me up?

-Now Hao Hao will go bye-bye forever. -Guo, please don't do anything stupid.

What exactly do you want?

[Guo] Thirty million dollars...

and I want that whore who beat me up.

I can pay you,

but the girl isn't mine to give. I don't know who she is.

Don't fuck with me, honey. Don't know her? I'm no stinking idiot!

[laughs] Oh, I forgot to tell you, Hao Hao's been quite naughty lately.

He needs to be taught a lesson.

Don't you touch a hair on Hao Hao!

Hello?

Hello?

[Kwong] Who's Hao Hao?

My nephew.

Huh. All these years and I never knew you had a nephew.

And all these years, you still haven't explained your love of buying toy robots.

[Kwong] Hmm.

[Angie] Mm!

Ah!

This shitty beer tastes oh so good now.

[giggles] L'chaim!

-Mm! -Hey...

Now that you're dating the sexiest of muffins,

aren't you worried it won't last?

No way.

-[moans] -Do you think he can stay committed?

Hmm...

I hope so.

[smacks lips]

[Ding Ding] Maybe you two just got swept up in the moment?

-[Angie] Mm... -Just got wild with the wind.

[mimics wind blowing]

He gave me his code.

Only the two of us know it.

Alright!

So, you've already seen him butt naked,

but keep reeling him in, make him fall deep.

You must bring this one home. Get ready to fight for it.

-[she scoffs] -Oh, so, I wrote a song to inspire you.

-Listen. -[she sighs]

I titled it,

"Angel Loves Elephant."

[scoffs]

[singing in Chinese]

[singing in Chinese]

Hey!

-[muffled groans] -[she laughs]

-Hey! You're so gross! -[she laughs]

You know how long this took me to write?

-God, not now. -Just one verse.

I've listened to a thousand of your sappy songs.

No problem. We'll reschedule it.

Great, then how about you email us the script tonight?

Mm-hmm. Keep in touch. Uh-huh. Bye-bye.

[sighs]

[groans]

Even the moon is asleep...

but look at you, working hard as ever.

Is everything OK?

I got something to tell you and I was gonna call,

but after I thought about it,

I realized it'd be better to see your face...

and look into your eyes.

So, what's up?

Remember I mentioned my company wants to send me to the States?

They pushed for it again.

Oh. Didn't you reject it?

Yes, I did.

So, they made me another offer that would be harder to refuse.

They want me to head my own R&D team.

I can develop new products,

create my very own brand

and the dream of building interactive robots for children.

Now's my chance.

But a voice in my head

keeps whispering to me...

not to leave.

Well, you've always wanted to prove you were the best

on an international scale.

Looks like your time has come. You'd be a moron to refuse.

So, you really want me take the job?

I married you because you were ambitious, brilliant,

and always made pragmatic decisions.

Don't tell me you're going soft now.

Is that truly what you want?

You do realize that...

once I move to the States,

it'll be the end...

of us.

That's not how you taught me to make decisions...

not based on personal feelings.

[he sighs]

Can you admit that there's still love here?

[he sighs]

[man] What do you want?

[Dong] I'd like to make the acquaintance of Boss Ni.

[man] Mr. Gui, this guy's looking for the boss.

Hello.

I'm an award-winning tabloid reporter.

Chien-tung Li. My fancy business card.

You want a fucking biscuit?

[Dong chuckles]

The thing is

we just received intel about his missing daughter, Angie...

and the rumblings are interesting.

Oh...

No shit. Now, that's a motherfucking scoop.

[Dong chuckles]

Boss Ni should be quite interested in this information.

-Huh? -Right.

Whoa! Boss Ni's house is money.

Oh, gorgeously groomed gardenias.

Would you pull out a chair for our guest, please?

Thank you.

Where's your leader?

Hey! What gives? What the shit?

-[Gui laughs] -[grunts] Get off! Let me go!

How dare you, sir!

-I've got saucy photos of his daughter. -Look how cute you look all tied up.

[Gui laughs]

You think you can fuck with the Cosmos gang, huh?

[laughs]

[Dong whimpers]

We're going to have fun. Oh, yeah.

Yo!

Time to party! Come on! Skinny dipping.

[Dong whimpers]

Where is this going?

[he squeals]

[Radish] Hurry up.

-[Dong muffled grunts] -[Radish] Time to go.

-[muffled screams] -[Gui yells]

Pipe the fuck down, please.

I'd like to apologize to you.

You didn't bag any of the cash you were scheming for

by blackmailing us,

but I've got a compensation prize just for you.

It's oh so... so very nice.

-[muffled yelling] -[Gui laughs]

You'll enjoy it. OK?

[muffled screams]

-[Gui inaudible] -[Radish laughs]

-[muffled screams] -[Gui inaudible]

-[muffled screams] -[Radish laughs]

One!

Two!

Three!

[muffled screaming]

[water splashing]

[Gui] Bye bye, now!

Send us a postcard!

Alright. It's about to rain. Let's not ruin our hair.

[Radish panting]

[Dong coughs]

[coughing and spluttering]

[gasping]

[phone ringing]

[sighs] Hello?

Hi? Chief Editor, it's me.

They dogged our offer and dumped me in the river.

Hmm.

Come on, be a big-balled editor and help me screw them over.

Huh. Well, since our pants are off.

Thanks, Mr. Big Chief.