Original subtitles

Hi, Amy.

You got any crystal?

Fuck off!

Shit, who pissed in your Fruit Loops?

Peanut, why don't you go passionately fuck yourself?

Yuk, you're all sweaty.

Whatcha lookin' for?

My skull lighter.

I swear, if it's missing, I'll slit my wrists.

Now that would be a great loss to the human race.

Sit and spin.

That guy has the intelligence of a stool sample.

He's OK.

I think he's got brain damage.

But he's OK.

This place is so fucking boring I wish someone would burn it to the ground.

Let's just get the fuck out of here.

Wanna go to Heaven?

Go ahead and stick it inside.

Jordan, put your dick in me.

I'm tryin'...

I'm sorry.

I just...

What?

I'm afraid of catching AIDS.

But we're both virgins.

Where's the fuckin cigarettes?

I dunno what it is, but...

...I feel really weird tonight...

...like something's gonna happen.

Me too.

Hey Amy... Do you love me?

Yeah. Totally.

Why?

It's just...

..."I love you" can mean a lot of things, like-

- You'll do till someone better comes along-

- "I can't describe how I really feel..."

But I know if I'm supposed to say this-

- or "Shut up",

I'm watchin' TV...

Are you stoned?

I think sometimes this city is sucking away my soul.

Like yesterday I was stuck in this humongous traffic jam-

- on the 405 freeway...

...and I just couldn't wait to get to the dead bodies lying there on the bloody asphalt.

All I cared about was getting out and moving again...

I know...

...I feel like a gerbil smothering in Richard Gere's butthole.

There just is no place for us in this world.

Hey, get off my fucking car!

Wake up, cocksucker! It's time to die.

Yo, bitch, would you just go?!

Get your fucking hands off my car!

Goddamn motherfucker-

- I swear, if there is one dent in the door-

- one scratch in the paint...

What the fuck're you talking about?

This car is older than you and your jaibait boyfriend here...

...combined

I love this car.

Oh my god, you're bleeding all over the upholstery!

Jesus, don't potty in your panties about it.

Jordan, he is bleeding all over my upholstery!

It's OK Amy, he's cleanin' it up.

You alright, man?

Yeah. I'm totally into getting the fuck beat out of me-

- and slicin' up my own fuckin leg...

You are really fuckin rude. You know that?

Hey, that's my shirt.

- Oh... sorry. - It's cool.

Go ahead...

- ...use it. - That is so gross.

What's your name, anyway?

What's your name?

Xavier.

- What? - It's Xavier.

That's the stupidest fuckin name I've ever heard.

Is it cool if I just call you "X"?

I can't really pronounce all that...

Only if I get to call you "Nutlicker".

If bullshit were music, you'd be a big brass band.

What's with your Lady here, Jordo? Terminal PMS?

- Fuck you. - No. Fuck you!

Fuck you... you stinkin' kootch.

Fuck you, you big wet bearded clam!

Get out of my fucking car!

C'mon, Amy. He didn't mean it.

He's just jokin' around...

Right X? Tell her...

Yeah, Amy. Don't get your uterus all tied in a knot.

Listen, gism-breath. I want you out of my fucking car-

- right this fucking second.

I'm not kidding, Scumfuck.

Get lost.

You're, uh...

Giving me an erection.

You're repugnant.

OK, Miss America. You win...

Beam me up, Scotty.

Later, gator.

Hey... what about my shirt?

Thanks, X.

My pleasure, Nutlicker.

Will you marry me?

Hey you don't have to decide immediately...

Hey! You think about it! Sleep on it, honey!

I swear, Amy You can be so harsh.

I dunno...

...he seemed cool.

Kinda strange maybe...

He was an anus-face.

What were we talkin' about the other day,

- about trying to be less judgemental of people?

Fuck that.

I'm starvin'.

Stop at the next QuickieMart, okey?

Sure y'don't want anything?

I'm speeding, remember?

Hey. No smoking here!

Jesus!

Hey, hey, girlie... you pick up.

Eat my fuck.

Amy...

Pick up, girlie.

I'm so sure...

We happy?

6 dollar, 66 cent.

That's weird.

Must've fallen out in the car...

I'll pay you right back...

...oh fuck...

- ...The Scumfuck. - 6 dollar, 66 cent.

You fuckin kook. We left our wallets in the car.

- Let me just run out and... - 6 dollar, 66 cent.

What're you gonna do, shoot us?

I mean, what is this, some kind of joke, like "Candid Camera" or something?

Scram.

What the fuck do you think you're doing?

Saving your fucking life.

Did I ask you for any big favors, huh?

Would you please just get the fuck out of here?

Jordan, he is getting us into Deep Shit.

Would you just get the hell out of here?

Come on!

...Would you just fuckin chill?!

...his head. His head, man.

It was talkin'...

I think, we're probably cool.

I mean, that weirdo gook Lady with the machete probably doesn't even speak English...

I think everything's gonna be fine.

What the fuck do you mean "everything's gonna be fine"?

You just blew somebody's fucking head off!

You know, you gotta be the little pessimist all the time, don't you?

Little Miss Gloom and Doom. Well, fuck you.

You were there, you were both there with me...

...and read my lips...

...we're in this together.

I fry, we all fry...

Blow it out your crusty rectum, loser.

We don't know you, we barely just met you,

- and we certainly don't like you. You're fucking crazy...

...and you're ugly besides.

I love you too, darling.

His fuckin head...

...it was in the relish and onions and...

...it was talkin'...

I mean, don't y'think you oughta call your mom or something?

Tomorrow.

What? Mommy and Daddy'll be all worried about their baby girl?

My mom used to be a heroin addict: Now she's a Scientologist.

My old man's dead.

Oh, sorry.

I'm not. He was a bloated, alkie pig who was always trying to molest me.

What about you?

My folks live in Encino.

My mom shot my dad...

...then killed herself when I was twelve.

I'm taking a bath.

I love this show, man.

So how Long long have you and...

...Princess Leia been a happy little couple?

Fuck...

...a long time.

Three months.

No way.

Most of my relationships, they last about three days-

...or...

...three hours.

Yeah, relationships bite.

Wow. Righteous tattoo.

I been wantin' one forever but-

- I can't decide on a design I like enough to...

...y'know, wear on my body for like the rest of my life.

It's a big commitment.

I sure do like yours a lot though...

I gotta take a whiz.

Hi...

Hi.

I must piss.

Now some of this next footage may be too gruesome for some audience members-

- so viewer discretion is advised!

Police say that the severed head-

- of QuickieMart proprietor, Nguyen Kok-Suk,

- was still talking when it was discovered,

- at approximately 2:39 am, by a Jerseymaid deliveryman...

...And the San Fernando Valley Sheriffs Department is still investigating-

- the bizarre, ritualistic slaying of his wife and children as well...

It appears that the shopkeeper's wife,

- was so distraught over the slaying of her husband-

- that she took the lives of her children, disemboweling them...

Wait just a second there...

...disemboweling them?

Yes, Chet, dis-em-boweling them-

- before taking the knife to herself in some kind of unusual suicide rite.

The police so far have only one clue to the identity-

- of Mr. Suk's murderer or murderers...

This skull earring-

- the type sold most frequently in rock'n'roll paraphernalia shops-

- often worn by homosexuals, satanists,

- and members of other dangerous cult groups...

Hold it, Sandy. Correct me if I'm wrong,

- but don't lots of people, especially trendy teenagers-

- following the latest "fad", kids who are otherwise perfectly "normal",

- don't they wear earrings similar to the one shown here?

Yes, well, Chet...

...that is a problem...

Smooth move, ex-lax.

Pinch the bridge of your nose.

Pinch it there...

I'm so fuckin hungry I can eat my leg.

How about a little foodular action?

Welcome to Carnoburger.

May I have your orders please?

Gimme the Slop-O-Rama Bellybuster,

- no onions-

- A Passion Fruit Slurpster-

- and aside Curly Q fries.

I have some Barbecue Beef Chunks.

Some Fried Cheeseballs.

And an Evian.

Diet coke. Extra large.

She never eats when she does crystal.

Shut up!

That's be all?

I've lost my earring.

That'd be... 6,66$. Please pull forward to the window.

Jordan, I'm sure. We're like in this total predicament and you're worried about losing a fucking earring?

It's got sentimental value.

My mom gave it to me when I finally passed algebra/trig.

You can relax your royal sphincter muscle, your highness.

The crazy machette Lady offed herself and her kids-

- so there are no witnesses left.

What?

They're all dead. It was on the news.

You're so full of sheep excrement it's not even funny.

I saw it on TV, so it's gotta be true, right?

Yeah but...

...what if dead guy's head is still talking?

And he tell the cops everything?

Grossify me.

Six sixty-six.

- Sunshine? - Gimme some money.

Sunshine, is that you?

I think you must've me mixed up with someone else.

Gonad-face, give me some money.

Don't lie to me now.

I know it's you.

Look, you fucking chunky pumpkinhead! I don't know what the fuck you're talking about!

Would you just give me some fucking money?

You said you loved me...

You said... you'd never leave me...

It this Night of the Living Brain-dead?

Wake up and smell the Cappucino, geek-

- I don't know you, I've never fucking seen you before,

- I don't know who the fuck this "Sunshine" is!

You little whore!

You broke my fucking heart!

Come on, Sunshine-

- give the poor guy a break.

Shut the fuck up-

- and give me some motherfucking money!

Ain't it nice?

I figure, if I can't have you, no one will.

Hey Bartholomew, what's going on?

The bitch!

I will find her...

...and I will kill her.

Is it fucking full moon or what? What the fuck is going on?

You shouldn't have broken his little old achey heart like that, Sunshine.

Cram it, ass-crack, we wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for you.

Mellowize thyself, fishwich.

Ever considered cuttin' down on your crystal intake a bit?

Cripes!

I have had it with you!

Don't worry, Amy.

We're here, we're safe, everything is cool.

Jordan, I just wanna go home and forget this whole entire nightmare.

It's alright Amy, really... In the morning, we'll figure it all out.

- Ok? - Yeah, sure.

I'm gonna get ready for bed.

Brush your teeth before you turn in, otherwise you'll have cheese-breath.

I get the feeling Amy doesn't like me very much.

Don't take it personal, X.

She's just a little...

...aloof, till you get to know her.

I've never seen a tattoo there before.

Touch it...

Go ahead...

...indulge.

What's it a picture of?

Can't you tell?

It's Jesus.

Why the hell do you have Jesus tattooed on your dick?

So people, when I'm boning 'em...

...can say...

..."I've got Jesus...

...inside me."

I'm gonna vacuum your tongue right out of your face.

Wait...

- I'm gonna come! - Already?

Don't worry, I'm good for about six times a night.

Four at least.

How about you? You anywhere close?

Sort of...

I can't hold it much longer!

Where is she?

Where is my little dandelion flower?

Tell me where she is or-

- you'll gonna have a mangled stump in place of that fairy face of yours.

Tell me where she is,

- you fucking slimy piece of queerbait!

I'm right here, lovebucket.

My pearly-doo drops rose.

I missed you so much, my darling.

You know I could never live without you, my bumpkins.

I've been dreaming of this moment for months.

Come on!

My pants!

My babycakes! My cuddlemuffin!

Please, please, don't leave me again!

Get a fuckin life, dogbreath!

Come back! Babycake!

Ever feel like reality is more twisted than dreams?

Not again.

My fucking arm!

I want it back!

- Son of a bitch! - Jam on it, girlfriend!

Get that fucking thing out of my car!

I'm trying! What do you think...

God fucking dammit, Amy!

Would you kindly tromp on the fucking gas pedal?!

♪ Sunshine... ♪

♪ You are my one true love ♪

♪ You are my one true love ♪

♪ You are my one true love! ♪

What is with you? Do you have to kill someone every fuckin time we stop the car?!

Well, pardon me for rescuing your ingrate ass twice in the same night...

...you fuckin furry tuna taco.

You don't care about anything, do you? You have no guilt, no remorse?

You murdered two people tonight Doesn't that faze you at all?

Yeah, I'm bummed... to the max.

But it's not like I've never done it before...

Excuse me?

How many people've you...? Just a few...

...and all of 'em deserved it...

...or wore a uniform.

Like my first, this ugly sow of a parking cop.

You know how they're so full of themselves, they got their fuckin badge, they think they're all bad.

Well, this one lardass cunt tickets me for bein' in a red zone...

...for like ten seconds.

So I'm there in the street arguin' with her and she's just smiling away, writin' me up...

...I grabbed the bitch by her kinky 'fro-

...and started poundin' her head into the hood of her nice white-

- parking Pig-mobile, and then,

- I slammed the door on her skull a buncha times until she was dead.

La mort... history.

God, would take a reality pill?

Hey, I still got the scar...

Teethmarks from where the bitch bit me.

I tell you,

- those cops are like goddamned savage animals.

...and some nachos.

That'd be $6.66.

All hail the Coffee and Cigarette God.

- Where's my change? - Drop dead, dunghead.

- No Zagnut bars? - Life is a chewy shit sandwich.

Well... what now?

Go fetch me some Zagnut bars, wench.

Fuck you!

You already have...

Fucked me.

You are such...

...the prick.

Yeah, well, that's not exactly how you phrased it last night.

You think you're funny? You're not. You're pathetic!

Sniff my finger.

Sniff my finger and tell me it doesn't smell like your girlfriend's sweet, juicy, snatch.

I'm gonna strangle you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!

Hey...

He's a liar. You know that, don't you?

It doesn't matter.

Even if I did get together with him, and this isn't saying I did or anything,

- but if I did...

y'know that it wouldn't actually mean anything, I mean

...you know that I really only love you...

...right?

Whatever, Amy.

I wish that we could ditch him some place, Jordan.

Just get rid of him and forget he ever existed.

He's not so bad.

I mean...

...he's sorta like us.

Lost...

...like he doesn't fit in.

He scares me, Jordan.

Like I don't know what it is...

...there's something evil about him.

Don't be a cornnut.

C'mon...

...finish your breakfast.

Then let's get me some clothes.

I feel like a fuckin frat boy in this toga.

Be right back.

What's with you? You act like somebody ate your pet hamster.

Well, duh...

...I am so pissed at you I could rip your testicles off-

- and staple them to your ankles.

What the fuck did you have to go and tell Jordan for?

Tell him what?

What do you think, doorknob? That we got together.

- Well, didn't you utterly dig it? - That is not the point!

What is the point then? Get it... Guilt is for married, old people.

You are incredible. You aren't even human, are you?

You're like a life support system for a cock!

This is so fuckin cher.

Look'it this thing, I mean, check it out.

Let me see.

Can I?

Be my guest.

Jesus, it's a fuckin belt Don't tard out over it.

Hi, I...

Mom, dad...

...It's me.

I'm uh... sorta taking a little vacation with Amy right now, and uh...

Fuckin machine hung up on me.

I'm thirsty.

So what will it be?

Shit!

Jordan... would you just listen to me for a second and forget about that dweeby game?

- Heey... - Jordan!

Sheesh, Amy, what's the national emergency?

Jordan, would you kindly pull your head out of your rectal region?

We're accessories to two homicides.

Doesn't that concern you in the fuckin least?

- Kitten... Kitten is that you? - Oh God!

Don't you recognize me?

It's me...

...Brandi...

...your eternal loveslave.

Your slave.

Look, Lady, I don't know who you are...

Has this guy shot you full of dope and brainwashed you like-

- the others? You're high, aren't you?

- It's me, honeycakes! - Let me go!

I know it's you, I can smell your perfume.

Get your fucking clammy hands off me, you crazy bitch!!!

He's kidnapped you, right?

And he told you he'd kill you if you act like you knew me. Oh my God...

Well, don't fret, don't fret... Brandi's here.

I'll save you from this heathen.

I'm gonna lop...

...his dick off...

...like a chicken head.

I can't leave you guys alone for a minute, can I?

Oh God, Bruce! I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

But that was her, it was Kitten.

I know it, I know it was her.

The bitch!

I'm gonna find her...

...and I'm gonna kill.

This is so nice.

Lying here like two spoons stacked in a drawer.

I hope we die simultaneously...

...like in a fiery car wreck...

...or nuclear bomb-blast or something.

You are so romantic.

No, for reals...

...I don't ever wanna have to miss you.

Ditto!

♪ Row, row, row... ♪

♪ ...your boat... ♪

♪ ...gently down the stream ♪

♪ Merrily, merrily, merrily ♪

♪ Life is but a dream ♪

Take it out.

Stroke it...

Squeeze it...

Harder!

Look at it.

Put it in...

...when I say OK.

...O...

...K.

Don't you think sex is... totally strange?

Just the whole idea of it...

...this tube of flesh gets stiff and...

...inserted in these...

...warm, squishy places.

I think maybe it's more powerful than we'd like it to be.

It's fuckin trippy...

...that's for sure.

It's kinda like eating spaghetti.

Why?

You are so great.

Hey, that reminds me...

...I'm hongry.

You're always "hongry".

That's cuz I'm a growing boy.

I think I'm gonna walk to the AM/PM and get some, Shrimp Nuggets or something.

Want anything?

Mmm... more cigarettes.

Yes, dear.

Hey...

I love you, fucker.

Me too, fucker.

Pig.

Whatchawatchin'?

Hey... Come here.

I wanna play a game...

I'm gonna start counting...

...if you crack a smile before I get to eight,

- I get to strangle you.

If you don't,

- I have to do anything, you say.

Alright.

1...

...2...

...3...

...4...

...5...

...6...

...7...

...7 ½...

You win.

Go ahead.

I'll take...

...these too.

$6,66.

- What's Jordan's like? - What?

You know, his engorged member, his...

...tumescent love missle, his...

...throbbing purple meat scepter.

Why do you wanna know?

I don't know...

...I'm curious.

It's alright...

...it's fine.

What do you mean "fine"?

Is it the size of vienna sausage...

...or like a baby's arm?

Is it cut, is it uncut?

Does it lean to the left? Does it lean to the right?

Does it go in a southeasterly direction?

Is it curved, is it straight...

...is it shaped like a fucking corkscrew, or what?

What difference does it make to you?

Does he plunge it into you long...

...slow...

...and deep...

...like this?

Or quick and short and shallow...

...like a jackrabbit?

Does he make noises like... this?

Or does he make them it like...

Or, no, he's a probably a whimperer.

Would you kindly stop babbling and fuck me already?

Where you been?

Nowhere.

I was worried about you, dufus.

Sorry.

Come over here.

You know just because he and I...

It doesn't mean that I'm really like all that...

...whatever.

I know.

This the currency we've linked-

- to the December 17th QuickieMart robbery/homicide-

- in Tarzana.

The suspects...

...a paramilitary brigade of three youths...

...appear to be on a freewheeling crime spree heading north.

We've run a fingerprint check through the Mother Computer in DC-

- and thusfar have ID'd one of the suspects...

...Amy Blue...

...Age 18.

Height: Five-one Weight: Ninetytwo pounds

Eyes: Hazel Hair: Brown

Cumulative SAT score: 666.

Should be considered armed and dangerous.

Amy Blue...

Gentlemen, I want you to find her.

And if necessary...

...kill her.

Good morning.

Don't kiss me, my breath is like totally skanky.

Wait till I brush my teeth.

Hey...

Know what?

What?

This is the first time we've ever slept together...

...and woken up together.

In a real bed, I mean.

You are the bright red cherry on top of my sundae.

Goofball.

Rise and shine, monkeybutt.

♪ The itsy bitsy spider ♪ ♪ Went up the waterspout ♪

♪ Down came the rain and ♪ ♪ Washed the spider out ♪

I have died and gone to hell for my sins.

Come on man.

It's the Dawning of A Brand New Day!

Suck my stump to a bloody lump.

So what happened last night?

A Mayonaisse-on-twat?

A Mayo-on-twat.

A three-way.

A double-stuff. E.T. finger-touch.

What?

You know in E.T. where the kid and E.T. they touch fingers and then they go... "Ooouch".

You musta been wasted.

Ever done that?

You mean, like...

...have sex with two people at the same time?

- Uhumm. - No.

It's the best.

You start building up this momentum...

...this rhythm,

...you know like a piston engine.

And as you're all poundin' away...

And your balls are slappin' against the other guy's...

...and you can actually feel his cock...

...through the girl's insides.

What're you two homos gabbing about now?

Why haven't you ever done it with an animal?

What?

Have either of you had sex with an animal?

Just you.

No, really?

Have you?

Well, when I was a kid, we had this golden retriever named "Honey"...

I do not want to hear any more of this story.

She was a consenting adult.

I fucked a cantaloupe once.

This song always reminds me of Scooter.

Who's Scooter?

He was like my best friend all through high school.

One day he brought a gun to physics class and told everyone he was gonna shoot himself in the bathroom.

And he did.

He was always depressed, always pulling shit like that,

- so nobody believed him.

Death's funny...

Like at first, it's all weird and you're bummed and shit...

...like this person you're used to hanginng out with all of sudden doesn't like...

...exist anymore.

But then you just get over it and move on.

It's almost for the best, I mean, Scooter was so sad all the time.

Me and him used to sit in my room, getting stoned, listening to The Smiths...

...like he was over the night before he killed himself...

...right in the middle of "Unloveable", he just started crying like crazy.

He was really into The Smiths.

Hey Amy, remember the time we lost my mom's car?

After the Thrill Kill Kult concert?

We were so trashed we couldn't remember where we left the car.

We looked and looked...

...and we walked around and around...

...but we could not find the fucking thing to save our life!

We finally ended up taking a cab home.

- Which you puked in. - Which you puked in!

Wait... wait...

How revolting.

Amy? What?

Oh fuck!

Oh my God! Do something.

Like what?

I don't know... something.

What, do look like... a fuckin veterinarian?

Oh God...

What're you doing?!

Jesus fucking Christ!

The world sucks...

Bro, snag the import. It's got extra tracks.

Ohh right.

Hey.

I just wish I could crawl in here and disappear forever.

Don't you have that at home already?

I miss my records.

Well, well, well, men, lookee here.

Check out that hot, tight bubble-butt, George.

Oh stop, Dan, I'm gonna pop a boner.

Hey there, sailor. Like your pretty earrings.

Leave him alone, Pat.

Can't you see he's a shy, sensitive flower?

Hey X...

...what's going on here, man?

No way...

...it can't be...

...Bambi?

Is it really you?

Fuck!

It's me, George...

Your poopsie...

...your snugglybear.

Look, smegma-breath, I'm not whoever the fuck you think I am.

So will you just do me a favor and evacuate?

Bambi...

...don't do this.

Fuck this shit!

Bambi... Bambi...

Please...

Dig it... Someone made the bed.

I just hope we don't catch crabs or something.

Life is lonely, boring and dumb.

Jordan, you want heads or tails?

- Huhh? - Head or tails?

Whatever...

Heads...

Tails...

Heads...

Oh well...

There any more beer?

In the trunk.

Have fun.

Gimme your finger.

- Stick it up my asshole. - What?

Stick your finger up my asshole.

- Repulse me! No way! - C'mon.

That is the most sickening, grotesque thing I've ever...

Do it!

Auhhh...

Nice and easy.

"Schoobie, schoobie...

...schmoke a doobie."

Schoobie...

You're up to bat.

Don't tell me you hogged all the brewskis.

Nothing makes me thirstier than a...

...wicked... excellent...

...fuck!

Go fer it, boyo.

Hey X...

...do you like slamdancing?

It's alright...

...except when you get someone's elbow in your eye or...

...their steel-toed boot in your crotch.

Why?

Have you ever...

I mean...

Does it like all those bodies...

...all that sweating and pushing and shoving.

Does it give me a hard-on?

Yeah, always.

I uhh... better...

Yeah...

Hey X...

Do you ever wonder what the meaning of our existence is?

You ever wonder why we exist?

No...

What for?

No reason.

Hey...

- Hey Amy... - What?

You ever wonder what the meaning, of our existence is?

You gotta be kidding!?

No, really...

Don't y'think about it?

Christ, Jordan. I'm just about to come. Can we talk about this later?

I guess...

What the fuck're you doing!?

Relax, you'll like it.

I am not going to "like" your finger shoved up my shit-chute.

That's grodified.

Jordan, will you please stop being such an uptight and live a little? Jesus!

I dunno, Amy.

Take a walk on the wild side.

Trust me.

- Ohh.. Amy! - Just be relaxed.

Amy... Ohhh!

- Shit! - What?

What is it?

I gotta pee.

Right now?

It's not like I want to get up and go out into the fuckin freezing cold y'know...

...but when Nature calls, it fucking hollers.

Just go ahead and let her rip while we're all coming.

- Yeeah. - Yeeak.

That is so vile and beastly...

...I can't believe any human being could even conceive of it.

Jeez, little Miss Polly Pureheart.

You are a demon from hell.

Girls have no sense of adventure.

I guess...

She better hurry...

...my woody's startin' to droop.

Mine's not.

What the fuck??

♪ Two little faggots ♪ ♪ Sittin' in a bed, ♪

♪ One eatin' ass, ♪ ♪ And the other givin' head ♪

♪ Dirty, pervert scum ♪ ♪ Make me see red ♪

♪ The world'll be a purer place ♪ ♪ When they're both dead ♪

- X, man, if this is your idea of a... - Shut up!

Amy!?

X!?

Leave her alone!

Dan!

Please fire up our favorite song.

♪ I pledge allegiance ♪

♪ To the flag ♪ ♪ Of the United States of America ♪

♪ To the Republic ♪

♪ For which it stands ♪

♪ One Nation ♪

♪ Under God ♪ ♪ Indivisible ♪

Leave her the fuck alone!

♪ With Liberty and Justice ♪

You fuckin bitch!

You're gonna pay for that, Bambi.

Part them succulent meat curtains, darling,

- and get ready for the religious experience of your life.

You fucking asshole!

Stop it! Stop it!

Stop it!

Just be patient, honey...

You'll get yours.

That's what your mom said only I couldn't hear her as well.

She had my sperm gurgling in her mouth.

Don't... you... ever!

Talk about my mother like that!

You... you... you...

You dude, are going to die!

And you, Bambi...

...you lying filthy fucking slut...

...are gonna watch me...

...help your little fairy boytoy...

...shuffle off this mortal coil.

Kiss... your puny...

...worthless...

...cock... goodbye!

Any last words, queer?

Amy...

...I... I love...

Yaaahhh!!!!

Yaaaahhhh!!!!

Isn't love a many-splendored thing?

Wake up, loverboy!

Open wide and say...

..."yummy yum yum"!

You wan't a Dorito?