All language subtitles for Taxi 4

TAXI 4
Sync and fix: Poko

- Alright. Are we finally leaving?
- A suspect has located in the hotel.

But don't worry Mr. Martinez,
your client is perfectly safe.

I've assigned my best people
to the operation.

- Gibert calling Alan.
- You've reached the police.

I've located the suspect.
Distance... About 15 meters.

- Join me.
- Right away, boss.

Concentrate, Alan.
Do you see the suspect, at 11 o'clock?

No, "at 11 o'clock"
is a term used in the navy.

You've been in Marseille for 10 years
and I bet you haven't seen the sea.

Actually I have,
when making my rounds at the port.

Fine.

At 12 o'clock is straight ahead
and at 11 o'clock is this way.

- Straight and to the left.
- Ah yes, indeed.

Are you sure this is the suspect?
I think it's rather a hotel maid.

But of course. Do you think
a terrorist moves around yelling-

- and wearing an explosive belt?

- No.
- Exactly. They disguise themselves.

And is there a better disguise
than a hotel maid pushing a cart?

- I'm asking you.
- Sure. Especially in a hotel.

Do you hear the song that rat
is humming to give himself courage?

Ah yes. Is that Spanish?

That's a revolutionary song,
my little Alan.

On my command neutralize the Basque.

Roger that.

At 12 o'clock!

And we're done!
Let that nightingale sing.

Put him in a cage.
I'll question him later. Go!

Gibert, how's it going?

Mr. Prefect, I've just neutralized
the Spanish terrorist.

He was transporting
a set of little bottles.

Most likely toxic substances
he was going to spread.

- I'll have it tested.
- Excellent, Gibert.

And now take care of our client, because
we can't allow ourselves to be late.

Consider it done, Mr. Prefect.

Emilien, the coast is clear.
You can deliver the package.

Emilien?
Emilien, answer right away!

I'm practically standing
in the exit door.

We can't do this
while I'm on a special mission.

It's not my fault. You look so handsome
when you're on a special mission.

You look like Sean Connery
and you turn me on.

Sean Connery...
Please, don't make fun of me.

- You enjoy this because you're stronger.
- Alright, you can tie me up next time.

- Not so loud. The hotel is bugged.
- Yes sir, inspector.

I'll take care of the package,
and you find Gibert.

- I love you, Emilien.
- I love you too, Petra.

See you at home tonight.

Mr. Ciss�, we need to end the interview,
to be on the pitch in 20 minutes.

I'm sorry to disturb you
but I'm from the police and...

- What's your name?
- Emilien.

- No, this isn't about, his is about...
- Emilien!

This isn't the time
to exchange business cards.

Where is that...

What a name. Damn foreigner.

- That's Djibril Ciss�, sir.
- Excuse me?

Don't get wise with me or I'll check
your papers and have you deported.

Emilien, look. They don't look alike.
The nose, the teeth.

But it's certainly him, I assure you.

Not so fast, Emilien.
I know about deception.

I worked for 2 years in customs,
so I saw plenty of impostors.

For example that Korean
subsidiary in 82. I smoked them out.

- But he's not Korean.
- How can you be sure?

I checked his papers.

- His eyes are a bit slanted.
- That's because he's tired.

We have to go
or the Prefect will grow impatient.

Yes. Head to the car!

I don't know what you did to them,
but you aren't popular here.

Don't worry. He doesn't
know anything about soccer.

- His passion is fishing.
- What are you mumbling, Emilien?

I just said that
your passion is fishing.

Fishing is a real sport.
Do you ever fill a fishing net?

No, my job is to put
the ball in the goal net.

That's good. Because fishing
isn't for amateurs.

For example consider float fishing,
on the lakeside.

Sometimes you have to stand motionless
for 8 hours observing the float.

And then...

- What's going on?
- Are you okay? Break anything?

No. I'm fine.

Couldn't you have turned on the signal?

We were told Mr. Ciss� is having a siesta
at the hotel, so we avoided waking him.

He's not having a siesta. He's in
my car and he's being transferred.

Djibril Ciss� is being transferred?
He'll play for Marseille?

It's Ciss�.

Do something or we'll be late.

Don't worry. I know someone
who'll get us out of here.

- You have taxis in the police?
- No, he rather belongs to the Air Force.

- Marseille Express at your service.
- Daniel, no time for jokes.

Mr. Ciss� has to be at
the V�lodrome in 10 minutes.

Mr. Djibril. Nice to have you.
Will you be playing in Marseille?

I'm taking part in a charity match
and I'm going to be late.

Since it's for a good cause.

I'll change clothes in the car,
to gain some time.

You can always try.

Mom, you'll never believe who's
going to play for Marseille.

That's not the right way.
We're leaving Marseille.

We'll go around to
avoid the traffic jams.

I assure you, Djibril Ciss�, no. 9,
playing for Olympique de Marseille.

Now this is a road.

- Real driving. We can't hear the engine.
- At this speed all we hear is the wind.

This just in.

Olympique de Marseille has acquired
an exceptional player, Djibril Ciss�.

A speeding white taxi
will be there in 1 minute.

Roger that.

- It must be our little Daniel.
- At his speed we have no chance.

- Shall we send the new guy?
- Damn. Are you kidding?

What's wrong? He's new, let him learn.
Hey, new guy?

- Yes, boss?
- Stand next to the radar-

- and set it to "extra sensitive".

- Alright?
- Yes, sir.

Attention, here comes the TGV train.

Step away from the platform.

Thanks. You did well. The measurement
is more effective on "extra sensitive".

- Your taxi is quite fast.
- I have my tricks.

I recovered some parts from
the Concorde, when it was scrapped.

Slow down,
I don't want to miss the exit.

I've just received confirmation.

The Marseille club has made the transfer
of the year for 60 million Euro.

All the spots are full.

Drive to the underground parking.
I know it like my pocket.

I'm not sure why,
but I worry when you say that.

Djibril Ciss�'s arrival
to Olympique de Marseille-

- is fueling rumors and insane
amounts of money are being mentioned.

To find out more, we'll go live to
our reporter at the V�lodrome stadium.

I'm coming to you live from
Marseille for this friendly match-

- being played for
the Association of Sick Children.

And maybe that's why the players
have demanded insane amounts, -

- since there is talk of a contract
worth 200 million Euro.

We'll invite him to
the microphone of TF1, -

- but until now the star
has failed to arrive.

Ciss� or not, if he's not here
in a minute, I'm starting the match.

Try taking a right here.

Emilien, we've taken
a right here twice already.

Are you sure you know it
like your pocket?

Yes. I was responsible for
security during the pope's visit.

We spent 6 days here looking
for Gibert, who got lost.

That sounds promising. I don't know
the parking, but I'll trust my intuition.

We're starting.

- 7 minutes and 32 seconds.
- Thanks for the ride.

Thanks for the show.

- We have a better view here than on TV.
- But you're in the middle of the pitch.

Take a seat in the stands
or it's a yellow card.

Of course, Mr. referee.

What an idiot.

- Foul.
- He's on crutches.

- Free kick.
- What's his problem?

Warm up and stretch your legs.
I don't want any injuries during play.

- Do you like the shirt?
- Yes, but it's too big.

You'll ask mom to wash it.
It'll shrink and be the right size.

- The logo will come off.
- I'll ask mom to wash around the logo.

Listen. I'd like to see you play longer
than 3 minutes, so no red card, okay?

Okay.

Go. The first rule is that you
never touch the ball, okay?

And if someone passes you the ball,
kick it right away.

Which way?

Don't worry about that.
Kick it and let the others worry.

Could I finally get to play soccer?

Daddy will play with you later.

Go, my son. Go.
And don't run too fast.

- Are you sure he won't catch a cold?
- Don't worry.

I gave him a heated shirt
and plenty of vitamin C this morning.

Then he's really in no danger.

You should have signed him up
for hockey, to amortize the equipment.

Are you nuts? That's too dangerous.
His mother wanted him to take up karate.

But I have the file of the club manager.
He refuse him, without Petra knowing.

Emilien, he'll be at risk his whole life.
So he better get used to it.

- Yes, but that can wait.
- What about swimming?

No. His bronchi are too frail.
It's hereditary.

And you never broke anything
when you were little?

- Yes, my arm. 3 times.
- See.

But that didn't make me any smarter
or get me a place at the police academy.

Maybe you'd have been
better off breaking a leg.

Very good, my son!

- Who will our kids grow up to be?
- What?

Do you think mine will be
a cab driver, and yours a cop?

- Why not?
- That's nothing bad.

We both help others.
That's beautiful in itself.

It could be worse.
It could be the exact opposite.

Mine a cab driver, and yours a cop.

Don't mention such misfortune.

Emilien, yes?

- Emilien?
- What urgent matter?

Gibert told you that?
But I'm not working today. Emilien?

- Are you alright Maxim?
- No, that's not possible.

- Emilien, you'd better...
- Alright. I'm coming.

Daniel, Gibert is summoning
everyone for an urgent matter.

Can you take care of Maxim?
Petra is on a secret mission.

I can't call her. And my mother
is on a pilgrimage to Lourdes.

- To Lourdes?
- She goes there every year.

- Such a miracle must be celebrated.
- Take my stuff to the station.

Just don't take them
to the port for sweets.

Sure. They'll get a slice of bread,
a cup of water and go to bed.

I'm kidding. Go.

- I'll take care of him like my own.
- That's what I'm afraid of.

Emilien, your son visits me
every Wednesday.

And he's never complained.
He never returns with warts on his face.

- No.
- So get moving and go to work.

Okay.

4 minutes and 30 seconds
without a card is your record.

I didn't do anything. That referee gives
out cards to every promising player.

Go get Maxim. I'll take you to the port.

Come on Max, we're going to the port.

Stop that ball this instant!

- I got it, boss.
- Bring me that ball.

It won't piss me off anymore.

Here kids. You can play on.

Okay, this isn't the time for dribbling,
footwork or any other soccer nonsense.

I've talked on the phone with Paris.
They're sending us a special package.

It's this year's biggest transfer.

- Drogba? Thuram?
- No, I know. Makelele? Beckenbauer?

- Maradona?
- You're a real bunch of morons.

I'm not talking about tennis.
I'm talking about a criminal.

- Tapie?
- This one is even more famous.

According to his file,
he's public enemy no. 1.

It's...

Boss...

- That's yesterday's transfer.
- So where's my paper?

It's written on the back.
You asked us to save paper.

Yes, that's true.
That was my wife's idea.

She saw a TV show about
the destruction of the Amazon forests.

Do you know how many acres
of forest are destroyed each day?

- 3? 6?
- I don't know.

How many?

- If you knew it would make you shudder.
- How many?

It's millions of matchboxes being
cut down and going up in flames.

So... When the opportunity
presents itself... Respect your papers.

Respect the paper. Economize.

- Boss, and that public enemy no. 1?
- Yes... He's a Belgian,

whose name I won't pronounce
because it makes me feel sick.

53 armed robberies.

Accomplice to 122 murders. There hasn't
been anyone worse since Al Capone.

He's being transferred to Congo, -

- where he'll be tried in
10 criminal cases. Transit in Marseille.

We take care of him from the time
of his arrival until 5 a.m. tomorrow.

And we put him on a plane
of the Congo authorities.

This Belgian won't have
the time to tour the city.

Surveillance must be ultra tight.

One police officer per square inch.

I want so many officers around him,
so that he can't see the sea.

- Do you understand?
- Yes, boss!

At what time is that monster
of the Ardennes flying in?

Good question, Emilien.
At exactly 3 p.m.

- Boss, it's already 3:05.
- It's 12:05 on mine.

Head to the cars!

Maxim, is this what you ordered?
So why aren't you eating?

Because my dad says that such
a cake only gets you stains all over.

You'll show your dad that's not
the case and you won't stain yourself.

Damn, your father.
Leo, hide under the table.

What's this in the middle of the street?
Get out of the way. Police.

She's caught a flat tire.
I can't leave her alone in this heat.

- He's right, boss. She'll dehydrate.
- We need to help her.

I'm a certified life guard.
I'll help her.

- I was a florist before being a cop.
- Nobody move!

Isn't he ashamed?
He should be behind bars.

How much time does it take
to change a tire?

- It doesn't take 3 hours.
- Around here we take our time.

- Thank you.
- Finally. Go.

Is the cake good at least?

- Mr. General.
- Gibert, explain yourself.

Sorry for being late. We took a shortcut
thru the port, but caught a flat tire.

- Does it take an hour to change a tire?
- It now takes the police a whole week.

The training of recruits is getting
worse. They learn to shoot on day 1.

But between you and me, we change
tires more often than we shoot.

Do you have the same
problem in the army?

- No. We have caterpillars.
- Caterpillars. Very good.

They go everywhere.

That's funny. This reminds me
of my vacation in Africa.

They had the same cages
and we slept in them, -

- to protect ourselves
from the wild animals.

This animal is of the worst kind,
Gibert. If it escapes, -

- it will burn down the city and kill
everyone before you change a tire.

Don't worry, Mr. General. We're used
to such characters in Marseille.

One day they're limping on one leg, the
next they're healthy and playing soccer.

Load him up.

And we're done.

Gibert, be careful with this package.
Your career depends on it.

Don't worry, Mr. General.
Consider it done. Let's sync our watches.

- 4:20.
- 12:05. Perfect.

We'll be in touch every 2 hours.
Forward!

Hello, this is Gibert. Mr. General.
Already?

Yes, already. You've been gone 30 sec,
and already you've made a blunder.

- How so?
- Look in the mirror.

A price tag.
Of course. Now I see better.

- Thank you, Mr. General.
- Gibert, I meant the exterior mirror.

Now look to your right.

Holy crap! Stop the cars!

- Are you sure this is the place?
- I'm 100% sure.

Alright, this is what we'll do.

You'll stay in the car.
I'll be better off on my own.

And if... And I emphasize the "if".

If I'm not back in 30 minutes,
come and get me.

Okay, fine.

What?

Call me before you let him out.
It'll be safer that way.

No problem.

Damn. What a throw.

COMMISSIONAIRE GIBERT

Okay. Get to work, Serge.

Hi, Daniel.

I found this a mile down the road.
Does it belong to you?

- I knew it had rolled off somewhere.
- Thanks.

- Hi, kids.
- They're growing up fast.

- Hi, Maxim. We know each other.
- Luckily he doesn't look like his dad.

- Okay, let's go.
- Emilien hasn't returned yet.

No problem. I'll put them
in front of the computer.

Does your dad have anything
against video games?

Now you have something to do.
I'll be gone 5 minutes. I'll make a call.

Be good.

Is someone else using it?

No, they simply gave my dad
the worst computer.

You can barely send an e-mail.

- And Gibert's computer?
- It's an atom bomb.

SYSTEM ERROR
- What's this mess? Nothing works.

Why don't they make the newer
models more user-friendly?

- Yes?
- We want to use the computer.

The computer's already in use.
Why don't you go to another office?

Because this computer is
the latest generation Extreme Core.

SYSTEM ERROR
- Do you know how to use this machine?

Kids' play.

Hi, Marley.
Got anything for a dry throat?

It's the end of the season
and I have little left.

Look in the closet.

HOLLAND. MOROCCO. COLUMBIA.

Indeed.

- Should I roll 2?
- Yeah, maybe I'll finally wake up.

Here.

Thanks, but I never smoke while
on the job. I'll smoke it at home.

That's funny. We smoke at work
but never at home.

- Damn, it's Gibert.
- Damn, the car...

Okay, Alan...
Put the animal in the big office.

- Should I get him out of the cage?
- Of course not.

Must I remind you that this animal
is extremely dangerous?

I know. But this cage is extremely big.

Don't question my orders. Execute.

To all units.
The wolf is entering the sheep house.

Damn, it's Gibert. Get rid of it.

Wait, Marley. Come here.

- Come here.
- Yes, Commissionaire?

- Have you been smoking?
- No. I assure you.

Don't tell me stories. I have an acute
sense of smell, my little Marley.

Last winter I had a 3-month
workshop with rescue dogs.

- I sniffed a lot of snow.
- I don't doubt it.

At the end of the workshop I could
smell drugs from a mile away.

- Unreal...
- Yes.

Okay, I'll let you go this time.
But it better not happen again.

- Type the password.
- I type the password.

- Upload the picture.
- I upload the picture.

First you click the picture
you don't want.

First I click the picture I don't want.

And you click the picture
you want to keep.

Thanks a lot, boys. Without you
I never would have managed.

You deserve a little something.

A ticket. Here you go.

Put it away. It's our little secret.

What are you doing here, kids?
I've told you not to touch my computer.

Go.

- And what are you doing here?
- I'm...

You're the new IT trainer?

- That's right.
- I'm sorry. It slipped my mind.

The help of a trainer is a must
in case of these machines.

I'm rather talented
when it comes to electronics.

But I must admit that I'm having a hard
time. Okay, let's have a lesson today.

I had a hard day and I feel
my head is going to explode.

- Excuse me... But you're smoking.
- No, I stopped smoking 3 weeks ago.

I generally have a strong will
but this time I got a patch.

- See?
- It suits you.

But I meant you have smoke
coming out your head.

Yes, indeed.

- May I?
- Be my guest.

- Where did this come from?
- This is from Morocco.

Put it out please.
This is a non-smoking office.

I'm sorry.

Okay, can we start the lesson?
I have also other things to do.

Of course. Where did
you finish last lesson?

- At adjusting the chair.
- Grab the mouse.

One eye on the monitor,
and the other on the keyboard.

One eye on the monitor,
and the other on the keyboard.

This won't be easy.

- Are you sure this is for kids under 6?
- Dad, this game is super soft.

We haven't played it for years.

Daniel... You'll never imagine what
a difficult case I've been given.

It's widely known I have no imagination.

They've sent us an important client.
A very important client.

- That is?
- He's wanted by every police in Europe.

And they sent him here? That's good.
He can play some boules.

He won't have time. Tomorrow at 5 a.m.
we'll put him on a plane to Congo.

If he doesn't escape in the meantime.

I don't want to make fun of you,
but this isn't a police station.

- It's an amusement center.
- Exactly, Daniel.

Gibert has summoned everyone
and I have to do overtime.

I've called Petra,
but she doesn't answer.

She's still on that damn secret mission.
So I'm left with the kid and...

You'd like your friend Daniel
to take care of him.

For 2 or 3 hours until I'm off duty.
I'll pick him up after duty.

- Sugar?
- Yes.

When will I get to work? I've been
with the kids since this morning.

Your wife can't take of them?

She's in Paris at
a redecorating exposition.

- She redecorates?
- She only redecorates garages.

She's decided to redecorate our garage.

- What a mess...
- That's right.

Even the taxi has to stand outside.
Can you imagine?

- That's rough.
- Right.

But come to think of it...

Better for the taxi to stand outside.
She's putting flowers everywhere.

The flower pollen
is damaging everything.

I spend the weekends cleaning
everything with cotton swabs.

When living with someone
you need to learn to compromise.

And what compromises have
you arrived at with Petra?

- A whole bunch.
- For example?

For example, my personal things.
When I was single my things were a mess.

And when Petra saw a shirt lying
around she'd throw it out the window.

- Your boxers too?
- Everything, I'm telling you.

What did you do?
Did you learn to clean up?

Exactly. And I bought a fishing rod.

I don't have to go down 3 floors
to get my stuff.

- When do you want to pick up your kid?
- I'll be off duty in 2 hours.

- Okay. Go for 2 hours.
- You're a real pal, Daniel.

Yeah, I know.

Tell me. Since it'll be the 4 of us
without the wives, -

- how about some pizza
and TV at my garage?

- Before the shop closes.
- Sold.

Tell me. What will you do with
them during those 2 hours?

I have an idea.

- Grandpa!
- Kids!

It's so nice to see you.
You were supposed to come on Sunday.

I know, but we were going to
the movies and they saw your house, -

- and started to scream
wanting to see you.

Yes, grandpa. I missed you so much.

I want to stay with Leo.

My sweet angels.
I'm here. Grandpa is here.

Don't worry. They're so sensitive.

Their mothers are out of town.
They act like tough guys,

but in fact they're soft-hearted.

Can I keep them for a couple of hours?
So that they can calm down.

But not more than 2 hours, Mr. General.
They have homework to do.

2 hours. Starting now.

He's been gone an hour.
Shall we go get him?

We'll wait another 5 minutes
and then we'll go.

- That's it.
- And now down. Faster.

- Faster...
- Up. See. It's not so hard.

The most important is
to keep a steady pace.

- Boss!
- Alan, you made me lose.

How many points did I score?

- 8.
- Not bad for a first time.

- What's the record?
- The record is...

20 million, 653 thousand.

- May I?
- Be my guest.

- Hello?
- It's me. Shall we come and get you?

No, there's no need. I'm done here.
I'll be there soon.

- Okay, fine.
- And?

- He's fine.
- Excuse me, but I have to go.

- Already?
- Another client is waiting for me.

Next month at the same hour.

With great pleasure.

Alan, what did you do?
Are you completely nuts?

You gave an order
to put him in the big office.

And orders shouldn't be questioned.

That's true. You did well,
my little Alan.

Take off the cover.
He won't stand here all dressed up.

- He's impressive.
- Is he really that dangerous?

He's even worse. He can slit
a sheep's throat with his ears.

Don't be afraid, my little Emilien.

I spent 5 years in Equatorial Guyana,
eating fried spiders-

- and counting hippos for UNESCO.

So I won't be scared
of some Belgian, believe me.

We'll start with a routine
interrogation. That'll calm him down.

Alan, get me the papers.
Go ahead, Alan.

First and last name!

So? How'd it go?

The place is a nuthouse, I swear.
It gives me the creeps.

Come on, go.

- You want to play the wise guy?
- Alan, the Bouches-du-Rh�ne department.

- Bouches-du-Rh�ne?
- Yes, Bouches-du-Rh�ne.

- Sure, boss.
- You'll see.

Will you answer?

Stay calm!
You still want to play the wise guy?

Alright. Alan,
there's a hunting rifle in my desk.

You'll see.

I brought it back from Guyana.
A gift from the head of the reserve.

This dart will put an elephant
to sleep in 5 seconds.

Okay, Alan. Careful, it's loaded.

Keep him at gunpoint.
If he tries to escape, fire at him.

- Without a warning shot?
- Of course. There's only one dart.

What will you use to put him to sleep?

All the better for me.

Let's continue the interrogation.
First and last name.

- What's that?
- He's starting to piss me off.

Don't piss me off.
You don't want to see me pissed off.

Boss, it must be hard for him
to talk with a ball in his mouth.

That's just an excuse.
If he wanted to, he'd talk.

Look, boss.
He's trying to say something.

Let him say it. That's all we're asking.

Boss, what if we take
the ball out of his mouth?

Not a chance.
Give an arm, he'll take a finger.

That's what this little
blackboard is for.

- There's a blackboard?
- Yeah, have a look.

And there's chalk on a chain.
This allows him to communicate.

Very good. He'll answer us in writing.
Emilien, write "first and last name".

Boss, he can't talk
but he can hear us very well.

Give him the chalk. But be careful,
he doesn't bite your leg off.

Go ahead, Emilien.

Slowly.

Very good, Emilien.

PEE

What did he write?

- Pee.
- That's right.

I understand, but is that
his first or last name?

Boss, I think he wants
to go to the bathroom.

He's not going anywhere. That trick
"I'll go to the bathroom and run away",

I've seen it a hundred times.

He thinks he'll trick us with such
an old stunt. Are you kidding me?

There must be something
prepared for such an eventuality.

Look over there.

Look where?

- Emilien, do you know how this works?
- Of course. It's kids' play.

This is the drain pipe.
And this one is for cleaning. Simple.

They showed us a training video
about new equipment a month ago.

- Right, Alan? Never mind.
- Hook him up.

And you keep him at gunpoint!

Try this and tell me what you think.

This stuff is strong.
I'm already seeing huge worms.

This connects to the water tap.

And this is placed in the toilet.

Done. That was easy.

I hooked up the pipes...

- Alan, give me that.
- I'm sorry, man.

- I wasn't focused.
- Then focus a little, Alan.

We're at a police station so you
can't go around waving a weapon.

And we have no experience
in shooting at bears.

This thing is used to shoot at bears.

You have to be careful in an office.
One finger on the safety catch,

while keeping the weapon
close to the body, like this.

My foot.

- There's a chair here.
- Lay him down.

He weighs as much as a couple of people.

- Damn... Look at him.
- He looks like he smoked some carpet.

No, it's some stuff for bears.

- For bears?
- You gave him that.

- I didn't give him anything.
- No, you morons.

He shot himself
with a sleeping dart for bears.

We have to wake him
or he'll hibernate for 6 months.

Consider that... 6 months of peace...

And who will sign the vacations?

- Get up!
- Wake up!

General alarm!

Where were we?

- We were at first and last name.
- Have you become as stupid as Gibert?

I'm sorry. I spend the whole day
with him so it's starting to rub off.

Are you okay Belgian? Did you take a leak?
Did you play "white men can't piss"?

That was funny.
"White men can't piss".

Okay, enough.

That must have been a big pee.
See how his legs have swollen?

But that's not normal.

- It should go out the drain pipe.
- But water is flowing inwards.

That's not possible.
Water should flow outwards.

Yes, I know.
Maybe you hooked it up wrong.

No, that's not possible.
I was extra careful.

I connected the drain pipe to the tap,
putting the other pipe in the toilet.

Seems right to me.
Anyway, something's wrong.

I'll go and check.

I messed up again. I'm such an idiot.

- Turned off the water, it should drop.
- It's dropping. Look.

Before he had two geysers shooting from
his eyes and now he has two little disks.

Damn, we need to get
him out of there. He'll drown.

Are you sure about this? He's extremely
dangerous. We can't toy with him.

Do you think the death of a Belgian
at a French station is something funny?

You're right. That isn't funny.

There must be a way
to quickly open this.

- See anything?
- A button, a lever.

A chain?

No, a handle.
Hurry up. Grab it on your side.

Ready? One. Two.

He doesn't look good.

Let's take off the mask. You do it.

- Why me?
- Go ahead, do it.

- This thing is hard to take off.
- Do it slowly.

This is funny.
This isn't how I imagined him.

- Then how?
- I don't know. A face... teeth like...

And a jaw like...

- Like a monster.
- Yeah. Worse.

The biggest killers
are the most anonymous.

The better they look,
the more careful we are.

Go ahead, wake him.

- What are you doing?
- I'm being careful.

Sir? Sir?

Sir? Sir?

- He feels better now.
- That's good. I'm glad.

- Where am I?
- At Marseille's main police station.

And you're police officers?

Yes. We're soon to be chief inspectors.

Soon to be chief inspectors.

- The book?
- No, first the flyswatter.

Stop it!

Listen.
This is a regrettable mistake.

And it's not the fault of
the French police, but the Belgian one.

It's true.

Mr. Albert Vandenbosh.

Wanted by Interpol for criminal cases
in 17 countries. Memory coming back?

My memory is good
and that's the problem.

My name isn't Albert Vandenbosh
but F�nimore Eugene Triboulet-

- and I'm an attach�
at the Belgian Embassy.

He thinks we're morons.

1987. Armed robbery
on the Paris-Bouche train.

I did not commit any crime.
I'm an attach�.

You're rather attached.

If you think we'll believe your story,
then you're very mistaken.

Alan, prepare a report for the boss.

- It'll make him happy.
- I'll go over to the file.

Write.
Albert Vandenbosh.

Eugene Triboulet, I tell you.
I know that Vandenbosh.

Look at his picture. He has a different
face. He has a moron's face.

- Yeah, sure.
- Emilien?

Come and see this.

Who is this?

- Albert Vandenbosh.
- See? I told you.

I won't blame you,
it wasn't your fault. Untie me.

I won't file a complaint
and we can forget about this.

- Where did you meet Vandenbosh?
- I wouldn't say that I met him.

I saw him
at the police station in Bruges.

What were you doing
at the station in Bruges?

I came to report a robbery.
I was the victim of a carjacking.

- A car what?
- A carjacking. My Toyota was stolen.

Two guys threw me out of my car
and drove off with it.

- In Marseille we call that a "Parisian".
- In Belgium we say "carjacking".

- Carjacking.
- Carjacking. And then?

I was in the Commissionaire's office,
a kind and hospitable man, -

- when I felt the need
to go to the bathroom.

- You always feel the need to go pee?
- I had some prostate surgery last year.

- I'm sorry.
- And then?

I was in the bathroom cabin,
when I stumbled upon Vandenbosh, -

- who was taking off this horrible suit.

And then his accomplices
jumped on top of me-

- and forced me
to put on this horrible attire.

Of course I tried to defend myself.
But they put the ball in my mouth-

- and since then I couldn't
defend myself.

- Do you understand?
- You're really good.

But unluckily for you,
you've met your match today.

- Emilien?
- What now?

Can you come and see this?

BELGIAN EMBASSY, FENIMORE EUGENE
TRIBOULET CULTURAL ATTACHE

F�nimore Eugene Triboulet.

Cultural attach�
at the Belgian embassy since 1996.

Since the 17th of May 1996 to be exact.

My nomination was also shown
in the evening TV news.

- Is there a number to call?
- Yeah, there's the number.

Go ahead, call. Call them.

Belgian Embassy, hello.
How may I help you?

Hello. I'd like to talk
to Mr. Triboulet.

Unfortunately Mr. Triboulet
has been absent for 3 days.

Do you know where I can find him?
It's an important matter.

To be honest, -

- we haven't heard
from Mr. Triboulet in 3 days, -

- and the embassy is starting to worry.

- Are you saying he's disappeared?
- Something like that.

We know he went to the station
in Bruges Tuesday morning, -

- to report the carjacking
of his Toyota.

And since then we have no news of him.

- Are you his father?
- No.

That's terrible. I'll call again later.

Holy cow...

Will you talk?

- Go easy on him.
- Don't worry. I have an eye on them.

And you try not
to burn down the station.

Can you borrow me some clothes?
We have a problem with the prisoner.

Yeah, look in the closet.

The boss has a few shirts
to change clothes.

You're right. He can change
clothes every 10 minutes.

My little Daniel.
You've come at the right time.

Is there a problem?

No, but it would be nice
if you could sign an armistice.

Leo, look over here.

Awesome.

I prefer to die in glory
than to surrender in infamy.

What is that?

Peace. The war's over.

- Are you okay, Mr. General?
- I'm fine.

I'm fine.

I lost the battle but not the war.

If you don't mind the next
battle will be some other time.

- I'd like the kids to do their homework.
- Yes. Of course.

- Let's do it this Sunday.
- This Sunday. That's right.

The day of Our Father.
It'll make Him happy.

Yes. And we'll eat an apple pie.

Very good. I'll take care of that.
Go to the car.

You were supposed to be good for 2 hours,
and not destroy his living room.

He started it.
We wanted to play checkers.

But he said that checkers
are a game for faggots.

Checkers are a game for faggots?
He said that?

- And do you know what a "faggot" is?
- A "faggot" is a flyswatter.

My dad says there are plenty
of faggots at the office.

I don't know what these flies ate
this summer but they're huge.

Your boss must be really well-built.

These clothes are a little too big
but you look good in them.

This isn't exactly my style
but I won't be picky.

- Better this than that diving suit.
- That's for sure.

This one is huge.

- Are you nuts?
- Sorry, man.

But there was a giant fly right here.

Giant flies and worms.
I know what you're saying.

- I have something to make it go away.
- I assure you... Where did it go?

How many of these
flyswatters do you have?

No, it's not at all like that.
I'll explain.

Our boss loves fly fishing.

And his birthday is coming up,
so we're collecting some flies for him.

It'll be a surprise.

- Excuse me.
- Okay... Give you a ride?

No, thank you. I'll take a cab.

Bye. And once again I'm sorry.

- Daniel. Is Emilien off duty?
- He has an hour left.

Tell him I'm with the kids. I'll get
the pizzas and we'll meet at my place.

Alright. I'll tell him.

- Bye.
- Thanks.

You've arrived at the right time.
I was looking for a means of transport.

Where should I drive you, sir?

Number 4, Mediterranean Square.
Nice address.

- And may I ask for a favor?
- Which is?

I know that French Riviera
inhabitants live at their own pace, -

- because of the sun,
which induces them to take siestas.

But the sun has set and the heat has
subsided so I won't play the tourist.

So could you step on it, -

- so that I may arrive
at my destination as soon as possible?

The port of Marseille, for Marseille.
Right?

You better buckle up instead
of being a wise guy.

What?

- Disgusting.
- What a stench.

I deserved it.

- Have a nice stay in Marseille.
- Bye.

Delta 1, the sardine has arrived.
Your turn, Delta 3.

- Roger that. We're on our way.
- We're starting.

This is better than those clothes
that smelled like sardines.

Did you get all the things I asked for?

- Everything's ready.
- What about the specialist?

It's not easy to find someone
competent in this town. So I had to...

Serge, I'm not asking
how brilliant you were, -

- but whether you found a specialist.
- The best of the best.

Then get me a meeting with him,
if you don't mind.

Of course.
I asked him to pay you a visit.

That must be him.

- Do we kiss or shake hands?
- Given the choice, I'll pick the kiss.

In Belgium it's 3.

It's an honor to work for you.

- What do you know about my work?
- Work. What a vulgar word.

- I prefer to speak of your masterpiece.
- She's good.

Okay. When do we start?

Not so fast. I'm a softy for compliments,
but before we begin, I have to test you.

A sort of ritual.

I'll close my eyes. I'll hold you close.

And you'll try, I repeat, you'll try
to steal something without me noticing.

You have 1 minute. Starting now.

I set it to the right time.
It was running a minute late.

- She's really very good.
- Where did you recruit her?

It's no use. We've tried the books
but he's not interested in any of them.

Okay... I see only one solution.

- He's here.
- Where's the bear?

- His nose is warm.
- He's not a bear, he's a commissionaire.

He shot himself with a sleeping dart.
We need to wake him.

That's what I thought because
I've never seen such a species.

- I'll apply the antidote.
- This dose is for an elephant-

- but it works the same
way in case of a bear.

- Do you know what you're doing?
- The most important is to aim properly-

- above the trunk and between the eyes.

- Emilien!
- I'm here, boss.

- Are you okay? What's wrong?
- That's a normal reaction.

He should lie some time in his basket.

I dozed off for 5 minutes.
What time is it?

12:05? That's why I'm so hungry.

- I'd eat an ox.
- Shall I order a pizza, boss?

- I won't refuse, my little Alan.
- I'm on it.

Emilien, I had an absurd dream
and you were in it.

- Really?
- Yes, that Belgian had tricked you-

- and you let him get away.

It was one of those dreams.

Emilien?

Daniel...
You'll never believe what happened.

- You got fired?
- How'd you know?

You get fired once a month.
It's easy to remember.

But this time it's for real, Daniel.
Do you remember that public enemy no. 1?

We were supposed to keep
an eye on him during his stay.

- I let him get away.
- No?

I did. He got away
and I didn't stop him.

- I'm such an idiot.
- That was quite a stupidity.

It's not just one stupidity,
it's a whole bunch.

I keep stacking
them one on top of the other.

I've made so many of them,
I can write the dictionary of stupidity.

- Don't rub it in.
- You had your successes.

The Santa Clause gang?
That Chinese woman?

Those were lucky shots.
I'm a good-for-nothing, Daniel.

Gibert did the right thing by taking
away my badge. I don't deserve it.

Don't worry. You're not the only one.

Besides, I picked this profession
to make my dad happy.

He asked me on his death bed.
How could I refuse?

That's not easy. But you tried
your best and that's what counts.

Yeah, you're right.

Time to start a new chapter
and do something else.

- Something that I care about.
- Now that's positive attitude.

Apart from stupidities,
what would you like to do?

That's problem. I've become
attached to this profession.

It's one of the most
beautiful professions.

In that case,
you're really in a dead end.

If only I could find the Belgian,
Gibert would give me back my badge.

- What Belgian?
- The prisoner was a Belgian.

- With big face, dressed as a fisherman?
- Yeah.

That's exactly him. Did you see him?

He got in my cab in front
of the station.

That was him. He didn't
want a lift, preferring a cab.

That was a truly spectacular escape.
Was there also a goodbye fanfare?

Stop it, Daniel. Do you remember
where you drove him?

Of course I remember.

- You're a genius, Daniel.
- Emilien?

- What?
- And what about the kids?

Crap. The kids.
Do you have an idea?

Ah, my little Daniel.

- Is it already Sunday?
- Yes, it's Sunday.

I'll leave the kids
and go get the apple pie.

Very good. I'll fire up the oven.

- Are you sure this is it?
- Yes, no. 4.

We have to make sure they're still here.

- They're still here.
- How do you know? The lights are out.

The lights are out, they're sleeping
like everyone else, except morons.

And the car is parked up front.

- You'd make a good cop, you know?
- Was that a compliment?

- Yes.
- Don't tell me it never attracted you.

As a kid, you never
played cops and robbers?

I did. But I was always
part of the other team.

So if you want my help tomorrow,
I need to get some sleep.

- Is that possible?
- Go ahead. Sleep.

I'll keep an eye on them.

Emilien!

I'm sorry. I dozed off.

We have coffee, hamburgers,
cheeseburgers, cake. And yogurt.

- You had all this in the car?
- I went out to buy it.

What? So the house wasn't being watched?

I was supposed to sleep, and you
were supposed to watch the house.

But you snore so loud
that I can't sleep.

- So maybe they ran off.
- They didn't run off. Look.

The car is parked in the same spot.

Two guys drove up
in a second car an hour ago.

Yeah? Why didn't you wake me up?

When you're asleep that's when I get
some rest. In spite of the snoring.

Daniel... They're leaving.

There's your Belgian.

It's not him. He didn't have
a mustache and he was younger.

Emilien, he disguised himself.

- Look. That mustache is falling off.
- Yes.

Why would he dress up
as an old man when going out?

Maybe because the police
is looking for him.

Oh yeah, of course.

But I've seen that girl
somewhere before.

I've never seen her.

- Where are they going?
- Guess.

MONACO

Monaco, of course. One bank per
square inch. This is paradise for him.

It's called a fiscal paradise.

Yeah, tell me about it. There are
plenty of boxes here we'd like to open.

It would help us in many cases.

Should I ask the Belgian to open a few?
He owes you that for your help.

Stop your nonsense.

There we go.

He's chosen a bank.

BELGIAN ROYAL BANK

Belgian Royal Bank.

- Most likely he's homesick.
- Will they rob the bank?

- They didn't go to play boules.
- I'm calling Gibert.

Don't you want to wait
until you have some proof?

Don't worry. We'll find the proof later.
Hello, sir? Emilien speaking.

I have the Belgian. I mean I've located
him. I know I'm not a cop anymore.

I was taking a walk and I saw him
walk into a bank with his gang.

They didn't go there to play boules.

It's the Belgian Royal Bank in Monaco.
Yeah, it's far.

Okay, I'll try to slow them down.

- They're coming.
- Great.

We've located the Daltons,
and they're sending Rantanplan.

Hello. How may I help you?

Yes, I've come to see my son, Edward.

- Edward Triboulet? You're his father?
- Yes.

My pleasure. He'll be happy to see you.
This way please. Second floor, room 115.

- Thank you, young man.
- This way.

You're kind, Etienne.

Come in.

Dad?

- Dad has been dead for 4 years, moron.
- Oh, right.

He wouldn't be proud you changed
your name. You didn't like it, did you?

F�nimore... You're not in prison?

Not this week.
I treat prison like a country house.

I go there to relax.

Bring your head closer.

What a stupid hairstyle.
Can't you get another hairstyle?

Girls don't like hair combed like that.
They like hair combed like mine.

- I assume you're still single.
- Yes.

- Delta 1, we're in position.
- Roger that, Delta 2.

That girl is going to join them.

I've seen her before.
I'm sure of that.

- I'm entering the bank.
- Roger that, Delta 2.

- We have you on visual.
- Things are heating up.

Maybe I'll go there
and have a discreet look.

No. You don't know what discreet is.

We stay in the car
and wait for Rantanplan.

Madame?

I have an appointment with
Mr. Triboulet to open an account.

I'll call him, madam.

Go ahead. What are you waiting for?

Hello? A client.

Take care of her. Don't let
my presence inconvenience you.

Yes, I'm coming.
Right away.

Go and give me the keys to the safe.
I'll take your place.

I only have the keys to the empty boxes.

- I only open accounts.
- Good, because so do I.

I'm sorry for the delay, countess.
Please, this way.

- Open it.
- Yes sir, Mr. Triboulet.

If you don't mind the step, countess.

And we're done.

Your turn, countess.

Do you have a favorite place
when opening an account?

- That wall there.
- On that wall we have number 82. Okay?

Perfect.

- And? Catch anything?
- I'm looking for the alarm-cables.

If I don't turn it off, the alarm
will go off when we open a safety box.

- She's really very good.
- That's for sure.

Bring us something to eat.
I haven't eaten since last night.

I'll bring us something, boss.

FRIES

What's Gibert doing? It doesn't
take an hour to get to Monaco.

- I've taught you some bad habits.
- That's true.

And what are they doing?
It doesn't take an hour to open a box.

Maybe they're opening more than one.

- A list of those we want to open.
- This will take time. Have a coffee.

A coffee?

The "La Libre Belgique" newspaper.
Now this is class.

In Her Majesty's service.

- I've opened the first box.
- Roger, Delta 2. Carry on.

- What?
- A guy in a suit and dark glasses-

- gets in a van at 9 in the morning.
Do you think that's normal?

Maybe he got back from work and
is changing clothes before going out.

And he bought fries,
even though he sells them.

Maybe those he bought
are better than his own.

- You have an answer for everything.
- And that's why I'm a cop.

I have only 5 boxes left.

Alright Delta 2, wait a moment.

Number 107. I repeat:
107. 1-0-7.

Roger.

- A black diary. Is that it?
- Confirmed.

- You scared me.
- I'm sorry.

- How's it going?
- Only 5 left.

- Hurry up.
- Of course.

- It's me. How's it going?
- I'm doing what I can, but...

He has a smaller head than yours,
so the wig keeps falling off.

Stop fooling around
and get out of there! Moron.

Enough of this. Put on
the mustache and let's go.

Or else he'll yell at me again.

What are they doing?
Have they stopped for breakfast?

That wouldn't surprise me.

- Look. There.
- I told you, he'll get away.

- Yes, hello?
- Gibert here.

Boss, he's leaving the bank
disguised as an old man.

- Where are you?
- The driver left to ask for directions-

- but it's not easy cause the inhabitants
run away when they see a police officer.

And the GPS is broken again.

It's displaying the wrong town.

- Where do I go now?
- You go to the beach.

Once you get there, you walk
into the sea and swim ahead.

- Alright.
- Now get lost.

He left and is going to get away.
He's at the end of the street.

It's there around that corner.

Emilien, how was that old man dressed?

- What do we do?
- Nothing. We don't care. It's not him.

- I'm not myself! I'm not myself!
- Sure. And I'm not myself either.

- Load him up.
- You're making a mistake.

- Emilien?
- Yes, boss?

We'll meet at the office.
I have a police badge for you.

Thank you, boss. Did you hear that?

Wonderful! And thanks to you, Daniel.
How will I ever thank you?

- Emilien, something's fishy.
- He simply feels guilty.

He knows I'm a good cop
and doesn't want to lose me.

I'm not talking about that,
but about the Belgian.

They drove up in 2 cars
and 6 people went in with bags.

Now 2 of them came out
with no bags and left on foot.

- Can you explain that?
- No. That's not easy.

And did you notice the old man
wasn't limping the same way?

I did notice that. I thought he
must have fallen down the stairs.

- Old people often fall down the stairs.
- And I think it's not the same person.

Really?

If that wasn't the Belgian
then where is he?

There.

Holy cow...

I'll take a different route.
That'll be more discreet.

- We'll meet at the house.
- No way.

We rob together and get caught together.

Besides, you won't leave me.
I'm rich and single.

I'd regret it.

- Dammit. He didn't let her leave.
- What now? Do we follow them?

With this piece of junk?

- What are you waiting for? Follow them.
- I'll let them get away. It's more fun.

This isn't the time for games. Go.

Why are they going so slowly?

It's nice to drive slowly for once.
We can enjoy the scenery.

Driving this slowly they'll suspect us.

A taxi cab is less suspicious
than a piece of junk with fries.

What are they up to?

In Monaco they prefer caviar over fries.

When they saw a car with Belgian
plates, they followed their client.

I assure you,
this isn't the time for jokes.

I remind you that
I'm up to my neck in trouble.

You got your badge back.
That's what matters.

Really? You think Gibert will give me my
badge, when he learns he has wrong guy?

My name is Edward Triboulet
and I work for the Belgian Royal Bank.

And I'm Hercule Poirot.
Alan, which book is it now?

- Number 77, boss.
- 77...

The Seine-et-Marne department.
A very nice department.

You'll see.
It's worth a visit, isn't it?

Let's try this again.
First and last name!

My name is Edward. Edward Triboulet.

This is leading nowhere, boss.
And we have few books left.

Don't worry about that.
We have the 22-part encyclopedia.

But... Since he's Belgian I thought-

- we could use a different method.
Do you know what I mean?

Good thinking, my little Alan.
Everyone get out.

Please! Don't leave me!
Please, don't leave me!

Stay!

- So you're Belgian?
- Yes, I'm from Brussels.

- Jacques Brel was also Belgian?
- Yes, he was a great man and a hero.

Let's listen to the hero.

Beautiful, isn't it?

- Wonderful.
- Is this better?

Not that. No. Mercy.
No! Stop it!

- Not that...
- First and last name!

Help! Save me!

- Damn. He's giving it to him.
- The boss is good at that.

Crap.

We lost those guys with the fries.

We're not going to the house?

I have greater ambitions
than that pitiful house.

Call the Columbian.

- Are you out of prison?
- Yes, I'm calling to tell you-

- that thanks to what I'm holding,
you'll take my place.

- I'm listening.
- BRB. Belgian Royal Bank. Ring a bell?

The things that were in your box
are not there anymore.

Hello? Did you drown
in your pretty pool?

- What do you want?
- Not much.

You have 10 minutes to get in your
yacht and sail to your shitty country.

And we're done. I got us an estate,
my dear. Tell me what you think.

This is what I love. I came here a year
ago, for talks with the Columbian.

And I fell madly in love
with this place.

But that bastard wouldn't sell it to me.

Come, my dear.
I'll take you to paradise.

Look at this. Isn't this beautiful?

Follow me.

Isn't this paradise?

This stuff is first class.

It's not the flour they sell
on the streets of the capital.

You turned me on in the bank,
while opening those boxes.

Eugene... Don't you think
we should slow down?

We have no time to lose.
We have to hurry, ever faster.

We might be dead in an hour.
We have to make use of each moment.

- You're right, Eugene.
- Call me F�nimore.

F�nimore, allow me to change clothes,
to look more beautiful.

That's a good idea. I'll change too.

And we'll eat a candlelight dinner
on the patio overlooking the sea.

Excellent.

See you soon, F�nimore.

Delta 1, you need to come get me,
things are heating up here.

- When will you be here?
- Hold on, Delta 2.

Excuse me, sir. How long
will the repair take?

Young man... 2 or 3 days.

Delta 2... I'm sending reinforcements.

- Emilien, what are you doing?
- I'm calling reinforcements.

My little Emilien.
The Belgian admitted everything.

- Everything?
- Everything. We couldn't stop him.

And since he became so willing,
we attributed him a few other cases.

He'll get a 1000 years of prison
and won't notice the difference.

- Boss, that's not the right Belgian.
- What do you mean?

That's his double, a look-alike. The real
Belgian left the bank 5 minutes later.

So where's the real Belgian?

I've followed him
to the Columbian's villa in Cannes.

- The Belgian and the Columbian together.
- Can you imagine such a catch?

General alarm!

- You look sublime, my dear.
- Thank you. And you look great in white.

You think so? I like white.

I like white... But I prefer champagne.

- Did you hear those shots?
- I heard only one.

Trust me. One shot is
usually followed by others.

What are you doing?

I'll take up a forward position
and prepare the terrain for Gibert.

You'd be better off guarding the rear.

Don't worry. I'll inspect
the topography of the terrain.

So that special forces
can penetrate easily.

Here. Put this in your ear.
You'll be able to monitor me from afar.

I have a bad feeling about this.

To us.

There's a high fence.
I'm climbing up a post.

There's a tree branch
that reaches into the estate.

That's strange.
Such branches are usually sawed.

But this one isn't.
Actually... It is.

That was a topography
class presented by Emilien.

Let's dance.

Do you realize what a couple
we'll make? Fire and ice.

My Machiavellism
and your professionalism.

We'll be the most feared
couple of modern times.

I'll be your Clyde
and you'll be my Bonnie.

- Shall we dance or kiss?
- We can do both.

Otherwise I'll come to believe
you're a double agent.

Haven't you learned
to knock when entering?

I'm sorry, boss.
But look what fell out of the sky.

Well, well. It's the little cop
from Marseille.

That little cop is an inspector.
I won't let you get away with this.

Hands in the air! You're under arrest!

You know, you're really stupid.
Barging in here with your little gun

and believing you can arrest
the public enemy no. 1.

The killer of the Flanders.
The monster of Belgium.

I warn you. The house is surrounded.

- Really?
- Right.

Reinforcements. An armada.

I can hear the helicopters
circling the house.

- They'll be here any moment.
- Very good.

We'll be waiting for them. I'll show
you what we'll welcome them with.

But first you'll pay
for disturbing my peace!

Leave him to me. I've always
dreamed of killing a cop.

And I was off to a good start. Fine.

This will be my engagement
gift for you, my rose.

- No other gift will make me happier.
- Miss, please listen to me...

- Mrs.
- Mrs., if you prefer.

I've never hit a woman
and I practiced judo for 8 years.

That was a Japanese hold.

Since you insist,
I'll take this seriously.

- Okay. But open your eyes.
- Don't worry about me.

But I am worried about you.

- Do we know each other?
- Think harder.

I don't know that hold,
but that must have hurt.

Reinforcements better come quick
or there won't be much left of him.

- Do you like my girlfriend?
- She's not my type.

And would you like me more
if I were a blonde?

- Petra?
- I was sure that I know her.

It took you a while.

Finally. Gibert and his orchestra.

Boss, should I check
if the front gate isn't open?

You might as well use the door bell.

The success of an operation
hinges on the element of surprise.

And thanks to this catapult-system
we will jump over the fence!

That was the Swedish corkscrew.

Go on. Show him. Break his neck.

- Finish him.
- I have a knife on my right thigh.

- Take me as a hostage.
- What?

- Turn around and take me.
- In front of everyone?

Take me as a hostage, you idiot.

- He's holding a knife on my throat.
- Where did he get the knife?

- I did a body search and found nothing.
- If you move, I'll slit her throat.

Nobody move.
Don't worry, dear. I'll deal with this.

Stay calm. And you, little cop...
Tell me what you want and you'll have it.

Boss, are you sure this
is safe without a warm-up?

I'm warm as the breeze, Alan.

I took part in a trampoline
competition back in 71.

- Exactly. 71 was a long time ago.
- Jumping on a trampoline is like biking.

You never forget it.
Send the first group.

Betrayed by technology... Alan,
go to the truck, and find the problem.

I'm on it, boss.

- What's your number, boss?
- I have no idea. I'm in last place.

Probably a burned-out fuse. Find it.

With his weight,
I'm not surprised it doesn't work.

OVERLOAD
- I found the problem, boss.

- We have company.
- What do we do, boss?

We wage war!

You want to play?
You want to catch me?

Then come and get me!

I'm glad I stayed in my cab.

I'm the no. 1, do you hear me? And not
only of Belgium, but of the whole world!

And some French cops
are not going to scare me!

Let's go!

Come on! I'll show you!

Do you know what this Frenchie says?

He says you're making him mad!

And this little Frenchie...

...is going to kick your ass.

It won't take long.

- Daniel, help us.
- I'm not surprised he remembers me.

And who's no. 1 now?

This weapon is dangerous.
I'll go get something bigger.

- Is he nuts?
- What's he doing?

Guys, look what I found.

I saw one of these in a movie.
Ignition.

This guy should be locked away.

I'll clean up this house.
It won't take long.

Help...

It looks better in yellow.

My love... When I think that I didn't
recognize you and that I almost hit you.

Don't worry. I would
have defended myself.

Where should I drop you off,
before matters get hot?

Listen, buddy. I won't congratulate
you for that handling.

Neither will I.
And I'm not the only one.

Excuse me, who among you
is the group leader?

Excuse me.

Right.
May I ask what your rank is?

- Commandant.
- That's it?

Judging by your look,
I thought you were a General.

Surely someone doesn't like you
and is putting a spanner in the works.

I can take care of that.
I know a few influential people.

I buy weapons for them,
so they owe me a favor, Commandant.

Why not.
Shall we discuss this in the car?

- My pleasure, Commandant.
- Load him up!

What are you doing? Let go of me! You're
making a mistake! Do you know who I am?

Let go of me! You're making a mistake!

Young man, your behavior
is an example for others.

Thank you, sir. But Emilien deserves
the merit. I only drove the taxi cab.

Besides, the meter has been
running since yesterday.

There's something I don't get.
You knew he was going to rob that bank?

Yes. There are hundreds of safety
boxes we can't legally open.

So we gave the Belgian the green
light and he opened them for us.

He'll get 200 years of prison
and won't notice the difference.

- Exactly.
- How did you know he would escape?

By transferring him to you,
we were 90% sure he'd escape.

Really?

So I had my part in
the success of this operation?

Yes. You were perfect.

Any news about Gibert?

Even a whole box of sleeping pills
hasn't slowed him down.

We'll show them! Forward!

- Win the match!
- The Commissionaire is full of energy.

We've tried everything
to get him to tire.

We signed him up for the New York
marathon, but even that didn't help.

Shoot! Go on!

What's he doing? Is this how he plays?

Shoot!

You're not here to pretend you're
playing. I'll show you how to play.

Is this hard to do? Look.

Look at this ball handling.

Yeah!

Sync and fix: Poko