All language subtitles for Pure.O.2023.720p.AMZN.WEBRip.800MB.x264-GalaxyRG.Hi

[RAIN PATTERING]

[MAN OVER SPEAKER] My
constant fear and worry

eventually drives me
to complete insanity.

I lose control of my mind
and decide to murder Emily.

When I get home,
she's asleep in bed.

I grab a butcher knife
and hack her to pieces.

Right after I kill her,
I come back to my senses.

I see that I've murdered
the person I love most.

Unable to live with myself,
I decide to commit suicide.

[SIGHS]

[TAKING SHUDDERING BREATHS]

My constant fear and worry

eventually drives me
to complete insanity.

[CRYING]

I lose control of my mind

and decide to murder Emily.

The philosophy. I understand
both philosophies.

I think that the answer is a
bit more complex than that.

I think that, um...

Yeah.

So then why are you here?

To get... away from all
this existential shit,

to get out of my head
and into my body.

Do you feel that you're
being too cerebral?

I told you that I'm
depressed, didn't I?

You think I'm self-diagnosing?

Do you think you're
self-diagnosing?

My sister thinks I am.

I don't know.

- How was work with rehab?
- Fine.

What about music, film making,
your creative pursuits?

Fine, fine. It's pretty
much everything right now.

I have been focused
getting screenwriting work.

Okay.

Good. Well...

I feel that you are depressed.

But you don't have depression.

I just proposed to the love
of my life. And she said yes.

I should be happy.

But I am crippled with fear.

All I do day and night is worry,

about the unknown, the what-ifs,

convince myself of the worst.

And, uh, it plays out like
a horror movie in my head.

And whenever I'm able
to calm myself down,

it's only temporary. It
always leads back to anxiety.

I have these crazy thoughts,

these irrational scenarios
that play out in my head.

I mean, it seems
so fucking real.

Like, uh, what if I get
so depressed I hurt Emily?

Physically.

Well, it sounds to me

like you're presenting
mentally with OCD.

I don't

clean doorknobs or step
over fucking cracks.

I'm just... I'm just depressed.

The depression is
just a by-product.

It's like... a symptom.

OCD is an anxiety disorder.

I don't have a mental illness.

I'm not some clean-freak
hypochondriac. I...

[STAMMERS]

This is situational.

That's not the
only way OCD works.

There's a mental side to it.

It's called "pure obsessional."

It only works through
mental compulsions.

So, what does that mean?

You need to be working
with an OCD specialist.

Here.

I want you to call this office.

Set up an appointment.

[SIGHS]

[♪]

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

What's going on,
little Looney Tune?

[EMILY] Just over at my mom's.

Her and Steve wanna have us over

to celebrate the engagement.

Yeah. No, of course.
That's super sweet.

Oh, how was therapy?

- It was fine.
- You don't have to go into it.

- I was just asking.
- I'll tell you more tonight.

All right, baby.

Have a good shift. I love you.

I love you too.

[CLASSICAL MUSIC
PLAYS ON STEREO]

[ENGINE SHUTS OFF, MUSIC STOPS]

[GROANS]

- Congratulations.
- Thanks, dude.

She's so fucking excited, Coop.

She called me crying,
she was so happy.

Thanks, Tess. What the hell
are you doing out here?

Oh, just another day
at Transform Malibu

on an Easter egg hunt for a
bottle of peppermint schnapps.

Meryl ratted Brandon out
in therapy this morning.

Said he had it delivered
over the fence.

- Okay. Let's go look for it.
- Will you help me?

Doc's got all these
kids way overmedicated.

- I know.
- It's wild.

- We talk all the time.
- It's wild.

- What's up, partner?
- Welcome to the Octagon.

Jesus. What?

Yeah. Your boy
went mental today.

- Who?
- Who do you think?

- Brandon?
- Bingo.

Well, I found his
delivery in the bushes.

- [SLATER LAUGHS]
- Nice.

What is it now?

[SCOFFS] He found out

you were leading
group riding today

at morning check-in,
the guy lost it.

Flipping couches, screaming.

"You got me all fucked up."

Sweet. That'll be fun.

[DUKE] Anything else
we need to know?

[LATER] Well, our favorite
heroin addicts checked back in.

Who?

That doesn't really
narrow it down.

[SLATER] Come on. Omaha?

Rachel?

She's in the back,
cooling her heels.

I thought she was doing better.

Addiction's a bitch, man.

They send them back... Familiar
people, familiar place.

Relapse is inevitable.

- Is that it?
- Just who's on meds.

- No.
- Come on.

- No. No, no.
- What are you talking about?

- Uh-uh.
- Fine.

- There they are.
- Fuck you.

[SIGHS] You guys, good evening.

- I'm out of here.
- [CHUCKLES]

- Yeah.
- Take it easy. Shaka.

- Shaka, bro.
- Huh? Uh-huh.

[BRANDON] All fucked up now!

Man, you got me up in here
like I'm some fucking lab rat!

Man, fuck this!

[COOPER] Solid therapy session?

Speaking of rats!

[SLAMS]

It's okay, Meryl.

Don't say anything.

I knew you wanted
to see us again.

I just didn't think
it'd be this soon.

- It's fucking embarrassing.
- No, it's not.

I lasted, like, no time.

It doesn't matter.
Nobody's judging you.

I fucking let you down.

Hey.

Hey, look at me.

Fuck that shit.

That's toxic waste in your head.

You let no one down. Hear me?

You just helped me so much.

You helped yourself. We
just showed you some tools.

You're here now.

Thanks, Coop.

- [EMILY] ♪ Mm ♪
- [SHOWER RUNNING]

♪ I miss my youthful... ♪

[EMILY CONTINUES
SINGING INDISTINCTLY]

Hello.

♪ They figured a way
They'd pay you to play ♪

- [SIGHS]
- ♪ You've given me ♪

♪ All of your time ♪

♪ I miss my old-school... ♪

♪ They always knew what to do ♪

♪ I miss the kid In
the back of the room ♪

- [HUMMING TUNE]
- [LAUGHS]

- Toonzy.
- Hey, you. How you doing?

♪ I know that I love My Toonzy ♪

♪ And I know my Toonz... ♪

Ooh!

You think you're
getting in here?

- Yeah. Why?
- On one condition.

- You charging admission?
- Hey.

You can't say anything
about the temperature.

- How come?
- My shower, my rules.

My God, I got a
parking ticket today.

- What?
- Yeah. Yeah.

And you know what
occurred to me?

This thing, this genius idea
is if we move to New York City,

we'd have to take the train,
and we wouldn't use a car.

I'd never get a parking
ticket again. Try this.

- Yeah?
- Mmm!

- It's good, right?
- Mm-hm.

I got it at the farmers' market.

Oh!

- Your mom and Steve okay?
- They're fine.

Steve's a little
under the weather,

but, you know, same old.

Did your mom freak out?

Um...

Kind of. I don't know.

She kind of made
it about herself,

you know, like she always does.

I'm sorry, baby.

Hey, listen, I was thinking

that maybe you could finish
chopping the vegetables for me

so I could start on the salad.
I hate chopping the vegetables.

- Yeah, sure. Yeah.
- [LAUGHS]

My pleasure.

[GROANS]

I don't know, maybe I'm
overly sensitive to it

because she's been like this
my whole life. You know?

She's always been this way,

and it's not like she's
gonna change, you know?

Sorry, I've gotta go pee.

It's okay.

[HUMS SOFTLY]

[EXHALING SHARPLY]

[SUCKS TEETH, EXHALES SHARPLY]

[FAUCET TURNS ON]

[FAUCET TURNS OFF]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[MAN ON TV] This is
no laughing matter.

If there'd been an accident,
I might've landed in jail.

[WOMAN] With your uncle
a police vice president?

[MAN] More than ever.

I never got it licensed.

- Should've been handed in.
- Babe.

- Incidentally...
- Yeah.

[DIALOGUE ON TV
CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY]

She diagnosed me today.

Yeah?

[SUCKS TEETH]

Okay.

[TV TURNS OFF]

[SIGHS]

What did... What did she say?

[SIGHS]

Hey.

Hey, whatever it is,
we'll get through it.

Does she, um...

Does she think that your
depression is clinical or...?

No, she thinks I have OCD.

- OCD?
- Mm.

- Really?
- That's what I said.

Sorry, I don't understand.
You don't have any of those

tics or rituals or
anything, do you?

Uh-uh.

No. I don't know.

- I don't know either.
- Okay.

Hey.

We've got this. Okay?

You don't have to
go it alone or...

- I love you.
- I love you too.

I'm so lucky to have you.

[MOANS SOFTLY]

- Hey.
- Hey!

- There you are.
- I'm so sorry.

- Traffic was the worst.
- No, no, it's fine.

- Congratulations, honey.
- Thanks, J.

I'm so happy.

Oh, yeah.

- So you took the knee, mate?
- I sure did.

Giddyap.

Thanks, man.

Listen, we're here to help

with the planning.

Whatever you guys decide.
Just know that, okay?

I appreciate that.

- I love you guys.
- We love you.

And you know, once
there's a baby on the way,

you're gonna get
a lot more help.

Yeah, I know, I know,

one thing at a time, but, uh,

hey, you are family now.

[TOY CARS SKITTERING]

[WOMAN] No, stop that.

[SCREAMING]

Just being alone with all this,

that's been the
hardest part, I think.

That has to be really
difficult for you.

We all only save ourselves.

Well, that's a
lonely philosophy.

That's because it's true.
Lonely doesn't have to mean sad.

If you like yourself.

[CHUCKLES]

Touché.

So why don't you tell me

what you already know about OCD.

Just what I scoured
on the Internet.

When I started reading
articles about Pure O

my face dropped.

I knew in my heart
that's what I have.

Okay. And that's a
normal reaction, right?

Just knowing what
we're up against,

like, makes us feel better
about it a little bit, yeah?

You haven't asked me
about my story yet.

Would it help you if I did?

I don't know.

I thought that that's
kind of how this worked.

Okay, why don't we switch it up?

Why don't I tell you
what I think happened,

and then you can
tell me if I'm wrong.

Okay. Okay.

So it started with a thought.

A horrible thought.
Something dreadful.

Maybe you thought that
you'd harm someone.

Maybe you thought you
did something horrific

or were capable of it.

And this thought was totally
against your self-identity,

but it started to consume you.

And not in a casual way,

but in the most intense way
you've ever experienced.

The more you tried to
push that thought away,

the stronger it
returned and just became

this incredible
source of anxiety.

You tried to hide it from
everybody that you know

because just the thought of it
frightened you to your core.

You were afraid you'd
be judged for it,

you thought the people who
loved you no longer would,

that you were vile and depraved.

So you tried to bury it.

Eventually you realized you
couldn't do that anymore,

so you told somebody
that you were close to.

And then it was out there,
right? It was no turning back.

Then you got into talk therapy,

which just made
the problem worse

because talking
about it ad nauseam

just made you
really hate yourself

and destroyed your
self-confidence.

How am I doing so far?

Hey, listen, I want you to
know that I'm not doing this

to make you feel
like a number, okay?

I'm doing this because the
first rule of treating OCD

is that the content
doesn't matter.

It's completely irrelevant.

Right? There's POCD, pedophilia.
There's HOCD, homosexuality.

There's hit-and-run OCD,
existential OCD, harm OCD.

There's ROCD, which is centered
around romantic relationships.

- I mean, the list goes on.
- Well, yeah.

Definitely got those
last two or three.

And that's my point.

They're all exactly the same.

Just thoughts.

Right? And what I'm
gonna teach you,

and this is really important,

is that no matter how much
your brain tries to lie to you

and tell you that it's about

the content of your
thoughts, it's not.

It's about your reaction

and your relationship
to those thoughts.

I see.

Things don't make us anxious.

Anxiety is a state of
mind. Does that make sense?

I think that you'd benefit most

in group therapy.

Why is that?

Late onset is difficult.

It creates an identity crisis.

There's a stigma that
needs to be overcome now.

And so I think that
the group therapy

will mitigate this.

And you need to be around people

who've been managing
this for a long time.

And then you can see that
OCD is not a death sentence.

Sure. Whatever you think.
I already trust you.

Listen.

You're gonna get
better, I promise.

In this community, we
help save each other.

You can't even surf
on these things.

It's not about that. It's
about getting out on the water.

Paddleboarding is for chumps.

- Then you should be an expert.
- Fuck you.

Hey.

Hey. Hey, hey, hey.

Everybody take it
easy. Cut the shit.

I'll take you both to
a Big Book meeting.

No sweat, Coop.

Just a little bit
of tension is all.

Take a breath, Meryl.

Hey.

Don't let him get to you.

Just focus on what
you can control.

You been good this week?

Yeah. It feels

better to get out of the house.

I bet, yeah.

Seventy-two-hour
detox is a bitch.

No, it wasn't that
bad this time.

Just too much time in my head.

Well, you know what Slater says.

"In your head, you're dead."

Yeah.

What?

You were right.

About what?

I shouldn't have
gone home. I just

didn't know any better.

I'm a little lost, you know?

Take that all away for a second.

All the distractions,
all the bullshit.

What do you wanna do?

If you had a clean slate,

money didn't matter,

what your parents
wanted didn't matter?

No one's ever asked
me that before.

Well, what would you like to do?

I don't know.

Like, um, I like fashion,

but that's not really,
like, a job or anything.

- What? Sure it is.
- [LAUGHS]

What, you think clothes
make themselves?

No, I know, but I'm
just saying, like,

where I come from,
it's not a job.

Good thing you're in L.A. then.

[MAN ON TV] What, ever?

[WOMAN] Forever and ever.

You don't believe me, do you?

Well, here's auf
Wiedersehen to Joan!

[GUNSHOT]

[MELODRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS ON TV]

[TV SHUTS OFF]

[QUIETLY] Hey. You
should go to bed.

Rodney.

Uh, OCD lifer.

I've been, uh, managing this
thing since I was, like, 8.

Been through it all,
one point or another.

So mainly HOCD in my early 20s.

Thought I was gay.

Uh, but ended up in
conversion therapy

before I put it
together, so yeah.

And I'm currently here for a
flare-up of a hit-and-run OCD.

So every time I drive,

I convince myself that I
cause a car accident, so...

Yeah.

Liz.

Like all of us, plenty of traits

go back to childhood,
but I wasn't diagnosed

until sophomore year of college.

Before that, I spent
years in talk therapy

just exacerbating
my compulsions.

Since I've been diagnosed,
been through a lot of them.

There's hit-and-run OCD,

there's OCD surrounding
starting a fire,

skin picking.

I'm here because I'm an
elementary school teacher

struggling with pedophilia OCD.

Hey, I'm Jake. I'm an alcoholic.

[LAUGHS] Sorry, wrong
meeting. Just kidding.

I've been dealing with
OCD for about 15 years.

Combination of
pure and physical.

Started out with contamination,
scrupulosity OCD,

which is based in religion.

Uh, recently, I've been
dealing with magical thinking,

and in particular,
the irrational thought

that if I don't
perform certain rituals

in certain ways,
my son will die.

So um, yeah, it's
been a lot of fun.

Okay. Thanks, guys.

Um, Cooper, feel free to
go in depth if you like.

Whatever you want.

So Cooper, obviously.

Uh, about a year ago,
my mom got really sick.

She has an autoimmune
disease, was in the hospital.

My mom means a lot to me.

My father left to start a
new family when I was young,

so she raised me.

Anyway, things got
really bad for her,

to the point that I had to book
my travel plans to say goodbye.

And that same week,
I lost my job.

Production on a film
I wrote fell apart.

Point is, I shut down.

I didn't know how
to handle it all.

And I had the
thought cross my mind

for the first time in my life

that maybe it would be
easier to just give up.

My mom ended up making
a full recovery,

but for the next
five or six months,

I became consumed with anxiety,
thinking I was suicidal.

But I didn't say
anything to anybody.

I kept it all inside.

It was a fucking nightmare.

There was nothing I
could do to stop it.

And around that point,
I had the thought

that what if instead
of harming myself,

I harmed my girlfriend?

Uh-huh.

It's morphing.

What?

That's what it means
when the OCD jumps from

- one obsession to the next.
- Yeah.

Okay, okay, so I
guess it morphed.

As hard as things already were,

that's when it
started to eat me up.

I was able to rationalize
if I ended up hurting myself

once it became about

the woman that I love.

Even then, kept it all hid.

Until one day we were
leaving this grocery store

and I walked by this little

kid, this little boy.

And I had...

The image flashed across my mind

of me stabbing the
boy in the face.

[NORA] You're in a safe space.

[INHALES DEEPLY]

Hmm...

I'm sorry.

We left the store, and I just
collapsed into my girl's arms.

I told her everything.

Got into talk therapy.

[LAUGHS]

You guys know the rest.

She's been great, my girlfriend.

She's... Fiancée, actually.

We just got married.
We just got engaged.

- [BOTH LAUGH]
- Sorry.

- Congratulations.
- Yeah. Congrats, man. Ah!

Thanks, thanks. Thanks, guys.

Um, that's the thing, though.

Now I've been struggling
with relationship OCD,

picking everything apart.

Wanting it to be perfect
before we get married.

I've also developed
pretty severe health OCD,

thinking I have
cancer for no reason.

We are all perfectionists.

That thing just comes
with the territory.

- Well, thank you, Cooper.
- Yeah. Yeah, thanks, man.

We've all been in your
position before. All right?

So just big steps,
bro, all right?

You're in the right place.

[DOOR OPENS]

[FOOTSTEPS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

How did the group go?

Still going.

Wanna smoke?

I have this disconnect where
I think how I should feel.

Yeah, but if you take

an analytical
approach all the time,

you're bound to see the
world through a gray lens.

But it's like the
numbers tell you so.

Heartbreak is just
the law of averages.

The numbers are insignificant

unless you can decipher

how they affect
something as a whole.

I don't understand that.

I'm saying love is a choice.

Hope is a choice.

You just said you're
in love with her.

I am.

Em is a great girl, dude.

You think you're the first
guy to ever spin out?

But what if that's
all a relationship is?

Shit that you have to
constantly overcome.

We're talking about love.

It's not a permanent
state of bliss.

[CHUCKLES]

Look.

I don't mean to get all
hippie and shit, but

you gotta find joy
in the journey.

What are you doing here, man?

What do you mean?

What are you doing
at this rehab?

I went to college with Tess.

She thought I'd be good at this.

No, I know all that.
That's not what I mean.

What are you doing
in this rehab?

I don't follow.

Everybody here has to be here.

The clients, they're
at rock bottom.

I'm here because I'm sober.
It's part of my program.

Slater, sober.

Tess lost her
sister to addiction.

Nobody ends up at rehab
unless they have to.

I don't know.

[♪]

Why are you still so
resentful about that?

Because I apologized, I was
sincere, and you accepted.

I'm figuring this thing
out. I overthink, I obsess.

That doesn't give you an
excuse to be an asshole.

- That's not fair.
- Know how hard it's been for me

to have a fiancé
who's having doubts

but he's telling me,
"They're not really doubts.

- "So just be cool. Help me."
- I have to filter out

every thought that
passes through my head.

Do you know how
exhausting that is?

Imagine trying to fix your mind,

but can't trust the
mind that's fixing it.

I'm gonna slip up,
I'm gonna fuck up.

And I'm gonna let things
through that are not real.

It's just my anxiety talking.

But I won't know that
until after the fact.

Right, but if you don't know it,
how am I supposed to know it?

You have to trust that deep down

- it's not how I really feel.
- Oh, I'm trying.

Look, you can lean on me. Right?

I'm here for you. I've been
here for you the whole time.

I know you have.

It's just hard when talking
about it makes it worse.

I can't tell other people I
love what I'm going through

because they'll just
get so concerned.

And that makes it harder.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry
about your family. I...

Babe, I just think
you're spun out.

I... It's not
gonna last forever.

It doesn't feel
that way right now.

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS]

I'm here for you.

I really... I really am,

but our relationship
doesn't get to go on hold.

Right? I need you to show up.

And I need to be able
to express how I feel.

You don't feel that you can?

Honestly, right now, no.

No. I feel like

I have to take a back seat.

- Well, I don't want that.
- Okay.

So tell me.

Go ahead. Whatever it is.

I feel like this
engagement is bullshit.

Like, it doesn't feel real.

Well, I mean it.

Very much.

And I love you.

Okay.

- I know.
- Okay.

And I love you too.

- Okay.
- Okay.

[BOTH] ♪ I believe ♪

♪ That you were made for me ♪

♪ And I was made for you ♪

♪ I believe ♪

♪ That you were made for me ♪

♪ And I was made for you ♪

♪ I was made for you ♪

♪ I was made for you ♪

♪ I was made for you ♪

♪ I was made for you ♪

♪ I was made for you ♪

[BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY]

Oh, yeah.

[BOTH PANTING]

- [LAUGHING]
- You okay?

Oh, shit.

- Babe.
- What?

I fucked up my cycle. We
shouldn't have done that.

[SPITS]

See?

Okay. Well...

I know it's not ideal,
but we can go get Plan B.

It's a good thing you caught it.

I hate that I can't
be on birth control.

The app's been working fine. We
just have to be more careful.

Oh, we have to be more careful?

No, really you maybe
have to be more careful.

[LAUGHS, SIGHS]

Hey, you should be more careful.

You've got a little
schmutz on your face.

Oh, you think I give a fuck?

You think I fucking
give a shit, bro?

I... You do. You do.

What are you doing? No.

What do you think
you're doing? No.

- Where are you gonna go?
- You look like you have rabies.

- Get away from me.
- I might have. Come here.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

We're gonna get into it
when the group gets in,

but how was your week?

Well, today is the day.

Are you ready for
your first exposure?

So excited. I still don't
even get what it is.

So it's about
desensitization, right?

So you're gonna write out
your intrusive thoughts

or record them and
then play them back.

Then you're gonna try to
allow yourself to be anxious

without performing
any compulsions.

That's the most important part.

It's where all the
work gets done.

So make myself more
anxious to be less anxious.

Essentially, yeah. Yeah.

Eventually I might
have you walk around

with a pocket knife

or go to bed with a
knife at your bedside.

[But don't... CHUCKLES]

Don't worry.

Don't panic.

You got this.

What's this?

A book for your
friends and family.

It's kind of like the dos and
don'ts of how to help you out.

You should probably
give it a read too.

- Thank you.
- Mm-hm.

[SHIFTER CLICKS, CAR SHUTS OFF]

[SIGHS]

My OCD attacks my relationship.

Makes me dissect
every aspect of it,

Emily and I, until
I bring both of us

to the point of
complete exhaustion

and we decide to break up.

After we break up, I realize

I've made the biggest
mistake of my life.

At that point, I...

I try to get her back,
but it's too late.

My...

I fall into a deep depression.

My obsessions spiral
out of control

and I end up in
an insane asylum.

All alone.

Driven to the point
of complete insanity,

I decide to take my own life.

- [RACHEL] Hey. Come in.
- What's up?

Duke said you wanted see me.

Um...

It's okay.

What's up?

Um...

Well, you know, like, what
you were saying about me,

like, following my
dreams and all that?

Mm-hm.

Well, I kind of brought
it up in therapy.

- And?
- Um...

I guess there's, like,

some fashion school called FIDM.

And I was thinking
about maybe applying.

What?

- [CHUCKLES]
- Hell yeah, dude.

- Let's go.
- Yeah.

Um, I just don't really
know how to do it,

so I kind of need your help.

Of course.

Anything.

Um...

Yeah, I have to,
like, write an essay,

and then I need a letter
of recommendation.

Okay.

And I know that you're a writer.

Um, but if you didn't wanna
do that, I totally get it.

Pssh, hey.

I got you.

We're gonna crush
this application.

You hear me?

Yeah, I just didn't, like,

wanna tell everybody
else about it yet.

Mm, you don't want Brandon
to shade your shine?

Exactly.

I won't say anything. Your
business is your business.

- Thank you.
- Big moves.

- [EMILY] Hey, babe.
- Hmm?

How much time we got?

Five minutes max.

Okay. Okay, I'm almost ready.

Oh, uh, Nora gave me this book.

It's for friends and family.
It's about how you can help.

Oh, nice. Um, can you
put it on my nightstand?

Sure.

- Wow.
- Yeah?

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

- You like it?
- Yeah, I like it.

Do I look like a Bond girl?

They'd be lucky to have you.

Or like I'm... Like
I'm in a music video?

[LAUGHS]

- Yeah?
- Yeah, yeah.

I mean, you know, I can
do anything in this.

I can do my body rolls. I
can do my around the worlds.

- Whoo!
- [LAUGHS]

No, but, really,
you like it? It's...

You look beautiful.

I do need five more minutes.

- Just, really, a quick five.
- Baby... A quick five.

So another 15.

- I'm a lucky man too.
- Oh?

- Yeah, you are.
- Yeah.

I mean, zero
argument here, right?

- You're so modest too.
- Yeah.

I think modesty is one
of my greatest strengths.

Wouldn't you say? Yeah, you
like that? You like that comedy?

- Anybody need more wine?
- Yeah.

No. That would be it.

Thank you.

- Good.
- No?

[VOICES DISTORT, FADING]

- Oh, he gave up.
- Cooper.

Yeah?

[STEVE] Give her a hand.

[EMILY] That's why
we keep him around.

[STEVE] Yeah, he's very handy.

[JANICE] Well, I'd
like to make a toast.

- Um...
- Lovely.

We all love you.

Who you are as people.

Who you are together.

[EMILY] Yeah.

Just love you.

[CHUCKLES]

- Oh, my sweetheart.
- Oh, here we go.

No, no, no, stop it. Your...

Your mother and I are
just over the moon.

And we can't wait.

Well, Em and I are
so glad to be here

with each and every one of you.

There's nobody we'd rather
be celebrating this with.

Truly. So...

Cheers. We love you guys.

- Love you, Mom.
- [ALL LAUGHING]

♪ One plus one, you splice me ♪

♪ The devil's in the desert ♪

♪ Two plus one, I splice you ♪

♪ The devil's in the desert ♪

♪ Two plus two, I splice them ♪

♪ The devil's in the desert ♪

♪ One plus one
You splice me... ♪

Hey, hey, hey. Stop
the music. Call 911!

[RODNEY] Oh, dude.

Cooper. Man, I...

I'm really sorry, man. That's...

[LIZ] Yeah, I'm sure
that goes for all of us.

Absolutely. If it wasn't a
heart attack, what was it?

We don't know.

Hopefully we'll get some
results from the MRI today

and figure out what's going on.

But thanks, guys, I
appreciate it. It's, um...

No. I mean, feel free

to take the rest of
the week off if you...

No, no, this... This helps.

I have to show up for myself

so I can show up for
Emily and her family.

Okay.

Well, I'm at least happy

that your first exposure
is starting to wane.

You ready to step it up?

Ready as I'll ever be.

Hey, what's up?
Is there any news?

[EMILY] I didn't know if
you were still in therapy.

I'm on my way home.

- Are you driving?
- Yeah.

Uh, we can talk
when you get here.

Okay. Sure.

They don't think it's
the years he smoked.

- So, what then?
- He got cobalt treatment

in the '80s, and
apparently, back then,

they did radiation
from the neck down,

- so that could be it.
- [SIGHS] Jesus.

- When can he come home?
- Uh, later today.

Yeah. Mom's there now.

I can come too.
I'll call work off.

- No, no.
- Are you sure?

- Yeah.
- I wanna help.

I know. There's gonna
be time for that.

I think I should just go.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Just let me know.

I wanna help. I'm here. Okay?

[PANTING]

[WHISPERS] I'm okay.

Fuck it.

Hey.

Where are you going?

What the hell is going on?

She made a rap video with her
drug dealer when she was home.

She's all drugged
out and naked in it,

making out with another girl.

She doesn't remember it,
but it got put online,

- and her father saw it.
- Oh, fuck.

Yeah.

I can't stay late today.
I gotta get to class.

- It's okay. I'll do it. Yeah.
- Thanks. I owe you one.

[CRYING]

[RACHEL] Hi.

- Do you wanna hear something?
- Sure.

One time I paid 5 bucks

to lick the used
spoon of a junkie.

That must have been a low.

Well, it definitely
wasn't a high.

I guess, technically, it was.

[CHUCKLES]

Dude, my fucking
dad saw that video.

Yeah. He did.

He told me he never wants
to speak to me again.

He just needs time.

He's processing
things, like you are.

Yeah, I know.

We can't control other
people's emotions.

You can try.

It's a quick path to depression.

Well, I'm already depressed,

so fuck it. What's
one more thing, right?

I get it. I know.

You have to fix yourself

right now.

All the demolition
cleanup from your past

that's for later.

[SARCASTIC] Yay. Can't wait.

[SIGHS]

You ready to go back in there?

Um.

Just a few more minutes.

Sure.

[SNIFFLES]

Sometimes it's

hardest to talk to the people
you're closest to, isn't it?

Amen to that.

- How's your essay coming along?
- It's good.

Uh, they want me to write

about a time I had to
overcome adversity. Any ideas?

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Oh, FIDM!

- FIDM!
- [YELLS] FIDM!

[♪]

[COOPER OVER SPEAKER] My
constant fear and worry

eventually drives me
to complete insanity.

I lose control of my mind
and decide to murder Emily.

When I get home,
she's asleep in bed.

I grab a butcher knife
and hack her to pieces.

[SIGHS]

I've just been trying
so hard, you know?

[RODNEY] Yeah.

But I think I'm
finally getting it

that I can't take this on alone.

Yeah, but you're here, right?

Brother, you're gonna
be okay. You are.

Steve's diagnosis has
been making my health OCD

flare up like crazy.

Keep digging deep and
trusting the process.

Just like OCD doesn't
develop overnight,

it takes time to do the work.

But you're killing it, man.

Mm, I don't know.

- Thanks, guys. That's it.
- Yeah?

Okay. Rodney, how was your week?

Aw, fuck!

Well, my week sucked, man.

Yeah. Uh, all right,

so I was already running
late for work on Thursday

when I had this
massive spike. Yeah.

I drove by this car accident
getting off the freeway.

- [COOPER WHISTLES SOFTLY]
- Yeah.

So, uh, I sat pretty
well with the anxiety,

you know, for a few blocks,

but then, uh, I lost the battle.

Yeah. My OCD convinced me
that I caused the accident.

So I drove back to the scene.

How many times did you drive by?

Fuck. Like five, you
know? Fuck, you know?

I wish it was just the
drive-bys though, right?

- Yeah.
- But... So I parked my bike,

joined everyone on the curb,
and I watched the scene.

Yeah. And I started
asking everyone

if they saw what happened.

So reassurance seeking?

[STAMMERS]

Yeah. But I didn't stop
there. I didn't stop there.

Started probing
the police officer.

Yeah. Yeah.

On the scene. Trying to find
out if they had any leads.

- Right?
- No, you didn't. NO, you...

Grab your popcorn. This
shit gets even better.

- Yeah.
- All right.

[ALL LAUGHING]

So an ambulance came, right?

And I ended up following it
all the way to the hospital.

- My God. Rodney!
- Yeah.

Yeah, but before
he got admitted,

I walked in front of the guy

that got into the car accident
to see if he recognized me, man.

Like total weirdo shit, man.

Total weirdo shit. [CRYING]

I mean, I'm laughing now, but...

But it was shitty
as hell, you know?

I was like, what,

like two hours late for work.

And I spent the rest
of the day convinced...

I was so fucking convinced

that the cops were
gonna come arrest me

any second, man. Right?

Isn't that crazy?

Fucking weird.

How was your week, Liz?

I'm glad you're here, Rodney.

Oh, Jake. You're gonna
be all right, Coop.

Thanks, man.

Fuck, right?

Aw, shit, man.

Yeah. Yeah, fuck it.

[COOPER] Hey, hey.

Hey, mate.

What's going on in the game?

Uh... Oh, uh...

- Lakers just pulled it out.
- Nice.

Yeah. You want a drink?

I'm okay. Thanks.

Oh, no, it's okay.

I'll have one for you.

So...

I just wanna address
the elephant.

It's Stage 4.

It's aggressive.

I'm pretty much looking
to palliative care.

Okay.

You two take care of Janice.

Gonna fight the hell out of
this thing for as long as I can.

But she's gonna need
a lot of support.

Absolutely. But we're
gonna be here for you too.

- Yeah.
- Okay?

Em told me you know a
lot about this stuff.

I have... Yeah.

[CHUCKLES]

I weirdly have a lot of
cancer knowledge. Yeah.

What do you think
of my chemo hat?

Pretty sharp, huh?

Sinatra.

Sinatra in the flesh.

[BOTH LAUGH]

- "Luck Be a Lady."
- [CHUCKLES]

[BREATHING DEEPLY]

You got this, Steve.
You're gonna be okay.

Yeah.

[SOBS]

I'm scared.

[SOFTLY] I know.

I don't wanna go first.

[CRYING]

First.

[EMILY RETCHING]

You okay?

So apparently, the
morning-after pill

only works on leftover sperm

and is useless if the sperm
and the egg have already fused.

- Wait, what?
- Yeah, so I'm fucking pregnant.

If we get the abortion, we can't
get it for another two weeks.

How come?

Um, they caught it so early that

we have to wait for the embryo

to grow to a certain
size, I guess.

I mean, I'm not...

This isn't, like,
the first time.

- I'm not 19 and we're engaged.
- I know.

I mean, I know that there's
no perfect time. Jesus.

- [BREATHES DEEPLY]
- Take all that away.

What's your gut telling you?

I don't know.

I'm confused too.

But I know I love you.

Like a crazy person.

And Steve's dying.

[SOBBING]

Hey. Come here. Hey.

Come here.

[SIGHS]

Whatever we decide...

- You decide...
- Mm-hmm.

I'll be right here.

Always.

Okay?

[SNIFFLING]

Can I use your shirt?

Here, let me help you.

Mmm.

That is so weird
when you do that.

Mm. You like it.

You good?

What?

You just... ou
seem really quiet.

It's freaking me out.

I'm just giving
you space to think.

You're over there
writing your masterpiece.

How long have you and your
fiancée been together?

Eight years. Wow.

I was like 10 when you guys met.

Oh, like 10.

Like... Like... Like 10?
"I was like 10 years old."

I'm a junkie, okay?

- I don't know how to do math.
- [LAUGHS]

"I don't do math."
Where you from, dude?

I don't do math. Two plus
two, I don't know it.

- Two plus two is five.
- [LAUGHS]

Two plus two is five,
maybe six, I don't know.

"I'm from Omaha."

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Oftentimes you don't see
your rock bottom coming

until it's too late.

I have 29 years. I go to
meetings three times a week.

I'm the CFO of a
Nasdaq-traded company.

Still, there is not a day

that I don't think about using.

Let me leave you with this.

Get out of your story.

Get out of those
cyclical thoughts

that have you thinking
it means anything.

Because it doesn't.

The only thing that matters

is what you do.

Every choice you make

is a step toward fear,

or love.

Choose love.

[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]

- That's me.
- Great.

- Okay?
- Thank you.

- Don't be afraid to use it.
- Okay. Thank you.

- All right.
- Very nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you. Bye-bye.
- Thank you.

Dude. She said
she'd be my sponsor.

What? Amazing, dude.

What's that make
now, four or five?

Two, actually.

Probably the same amount
of girls you've been with.

Poor things.

[SNICKERING]

[COOPER OVER SPEAKER] My
constant fear and worry

eventually drives me
to complete insanity.

I lose control of my mind
and decide to murder Emily.

When I get home,
she's asleep in bed.

I grab a butcher knife
and hack her to pieces.

[PLAYING "LOVE ME LIKE A FIRE"]

♪ Love me like a fire ♪

♪ And I'll love
you Like a flood ♪

♪ I'll give you
Everything I have ♪

♪ Down to the
vapors In my blood ♪

♪ I'll be your broken levee ♪

♪ If you will be my drug ♪

♪ Love me like a fire, boy ♪

♪ I'll love you like a flood ♪

♪ Love me like an anchor ♪

♪ And I'll love
you Like a rock ♪

I'll give you
Everything I have ♪

♪ Even the things
I haven't got ♪

♪ I'll tell you
That I love you ♪

♪ When you're worried
That I'll stop ♪

♪ Love me like an anchor, boy ♪

♪ And I'll love
you Like a rock ♪

♪ Come on now, love me ♪

♪ I need you to love me ♪

♪ Come on, baby ♪

♪ And love me ♪

That was around sophomore
year of college.

Had a difficult period
with hit-and-run,

uh, and currently
struggling with POCD.

Hey, man, I'm Cooper.

I got diagnosed
a few months ago.

Relationship OCD,
harm OCD, cancer OCD.

Uh, just figured I'd go for
the trifecta right off the bat.

Um, I've been in
your position, man.

I get it. We all do.

OCD attacks the things
that you love most.

But this group is unbelievable.

It's where you're gonna get
the support that you need,

- if you're open to it.
- [SNIFFLES]

Thanks.

- You're welcome, man.
- Yeah.

So, welcome.

- Thanks.
- Yeah.

- [LAUGHS]
- Yeah, dude.

All right. See you, bud.

- Later, Nora.
- Have fun tonight.

- Hey, Cooper.
- Hmm?

You are making some
serious progress.

I really think you're gonna
be a good resource for Brian.

Thank you. I hope so.

And I think that you're
ready for a new exposure,

but I wanna do it here,

like a one-on-one,
more clinical setting.

Okay. What is it?

I think you should talk
to Emily about it first.

- Okay. Sure.
- Yeah.

It's hard for me to feel clear

- about anything right now.
- Mm.

I'm just getting a handle
on my mental health and...

Steve's fucking dying.

I know. I keep
thinking about that.

Like, the whole "carrying life
while preparing for death."

But outside of that, it seems
like we're leaning towards "no"?

Logistically, it would
obviously be better

down the line.

But is that what you want?

You know, I'm not ready either.

That's not what I said.

I know, but you're not
saying the opposite.

Now it sounds like
you wanna keep it?

No, I...

I don't know. I don't know.
I don't fucking know, I...

I told you, I support
you whichever way we go.

I love you. We're not
young, but we're not old.

We can do whatever
we want. We can...

We can freeze
eggs. We can adopt.

We can

get pregnant again.

We've talked about
all these things.

Yeah.

You're right.

No. You're right. We
should wait. We should...

We should get through all your
mental health stuff and...

And Steve and all of
the grief. And then...

And then we should reset.

You know, we should travel
and plan our wedding and...

And do it on our own terms.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

[SIGHS]

Hey, dinner's almost ready.

- No rush.
- Thanks.

Wow, this the new series?

[JANICE] Yeah. I just
went up to Matador.

I thought it might help

to put my head back into work.

Wow, these are

amazing, J. Seriously.
There's something so

otherworldly about them.

Yeah. Thanks.

- Oh. Oh, okay.
- Mm-hm.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

How are you?

Em told me

he's not responding to
the chemo very well.

I've made my peace
with it best I can.

I tell you what, though,

managing other people's
emotions is exhausting.

Fuckin' A.

- [LAUGHS]
- Thank you.

[BOTH LAUGH]

I know you've been
going through a lot.

But I appreciate everything.

Of course.

Em told me what
you guys decided.

Are you okay?

I think so.

[INHALES DEEPLY]

That's about as
far as I ever get.

[♪]

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

[BRANDON COUGHING]

[SIGHS] Okay.

Both of you find a rock, like
one the size of a baseball.

- Why?
- Just fucking do it.

- Who made you counselor?
- You're always

challenging everything.
It's fucking exhausting.

[COOPER] Okay. Okay.

Enough. Just trust me
for a second, okay?

Write whatever you want.

Gonna play along?

All right. I want you
to charge this rock

with all the negativity

all the pain

shame

guilt.

I know it sounds like some
wack-ass shit, Brandon. Just

bear with me.

And then you're just gonna...

Fuck cancer!

Fuck heroin!

Y'all is corny as fuck.

- [MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKER]
- Fuck this ratchet-ass shit.

Let me play something.

No one wants to hear
your country shit.

- You think that's better?
- Yeah.

- That's better than this?
- Yeah.

- This is so good.
- Who you even listening to?

[BRENDA] Your mom. I'm listening
to your mom. Your mom's new album.

Everything cool?

I don't think so. I
have to call Emily.

- Can you hold it down?
- Yeah.

I'm so sorry, dude. I...
I'll explain to you.

I'll explain it later,
dude. [SIGHS DEEPLY]

[BRANDON] At least I got a mom.

[BRANDON LAUGHS]

Hey.

I'm gonna lead you back.

[♪]

♪ Hope Is the
strangest of words ♪

♪ I choose to keep
the faith I deserve ♪

♪ The rest is absurd ♪

♪ When the thunder
Crashes down ♪

♪ I will take solace
In the sound ♪

♪ Because serenity
I have found ♪

♪ The angels in the attic ♪

♪ Are breaking my
habits In half ♪

♪ I'm living this life
Like it's my last ♪

♪ In a shade That is
brighter than black ♪

♪ In a shade That is
brighter than black ♪

♪ In a shade That is
brighter than black ♪

♪ In a shade That is
brighter than black ♪

- Thanks for coming.
- Of course.

Well, in my experience,

it hasn't always
been "of course."

This kind of treatment
is often misunderstood.

Well, I... I just wanna
help in any way I can.

So are you ready to try it?

Mm-hm.

Okay.

First thing. Cooper,
pick up the knife.

[WHISPERS] Okay.

How does that feel, sitting
next to Emily with it?

- I feel fine.
- Great.

Now turn your chairs so
they're facing each other.

[SIGHS]

Okay. Point the knife at her.

How does that feel?

I'm okay.

Now take her left hand, palm up.

You're gonna place
the knife on her wrist

so that the serrated edge is up.

Hey. I'm fine. Go ahead.

[EXHALES SLOWLY]

[NORA] Okay.

Sit here for a second
in the anxiety.

Don't let yourself engage
in any mental rituals.

[EMILY] I'm okay.

Now, both of you stand up.

Cooper, hold the knife

against her wrist with
the sharp end down.

[EXHALES SHARPLY] Okay.

[NORA] It's totally
okay, Cooper.

- Mm-hm.
- We're gauging this as we go.

We won't take it any further
than you're capable of.

No, no, no. I just...
I... I need...

I need... I need a
moment. I'm okay. I, uh...

I'm nervous, but I...
I can still handle it.

Now say, "I might
cut you, Emily."

[CLEARS THROAT]

[CLEARS THROAT]

I might cut you, Emily.

[NORA] That's amazing, Cooper.

- Emily, you all right?
- Uh-huh.

- Yeah?
- Yeah, yeah.

[NORA] All right. Last one.

Cooper, hold the knife
up to Emily's neck.

- What?
- If you're not ready,

it's completely 100% okay,
but I think that you are.

I wouldn't have you doing
this if I thought otherwise.

Mmm...

I, um... I just need a
minute. I need a minute.

- Take all the time you need.
- [CLEARS THROAT]

And again, it's okay if
you don't feel ready.

Your progress today
has been incredible.

Okay, let's do it. Let's
go, let's go. Um...

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

- You ready?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay.

[EXHALES SHARPLY, CLEARS THROAT]

- No compulsions.
- Mm-hm, mm-hm.

Just let the anxiety be there.

Now say, "Emily,
I'm gonna cut you,

and you're gonna
bleed out and die."

[EXHALES SHARPLY] Oh, fuck.

I'm gonna cut you,
Emily. And, uh...

[INHALES DEEPLY]

- Fuck.
- I'm so proud of you. You can...

- No reassurances.
- Oh, sor... Okay.

[SNIFFLING]

Emily, I'm gonna cut you.
You're gonna bleed out and die.

I'm sorry.

- You're safe.
- [CRYING]

Fuck!

That took profound bravery.

- [EXHALES DEEPLY]
- Okay.

I'm so embarrassed. I'm
sorry. I'm so embarrassed.

It's okay. It's all
okay. It's okay.

I really appreciate you
doing this. I'm sorry.

- It's okay. It's okay.
- Fuck.

It's okay. I've got you.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

- It's okay. It's okay.
- Fuck.

It's okay. You're okay.

You're okay.

You're okay.

[BOTH SIGH DEEPLY]

- Hey.
- Hey.

Thanks for doing that. I
know that was pretty weird.

I mean, yeah. Yeah, a
little, but I get it.

I'm proud of you.

Thanks.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Sorry, how long do you think

until, uh, we can
laugh about this?

[BOTH LAUGH]

Sorry.

Ahem, sorry. Sorry. I'm
sorry. No, I'm not, I'm not.

I'm sorry. I'm not
trying to minimize it.

Everything that you just did

was so beautiful
and so vulnerable.

And I'm so sorry.

- Dude.
- I'm sorry.

[LAUGHING]

Okay. Okay. Okay.

[CLEARS THROAT]

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

Hey. I'm really... I'm
really proud of you. Okay?

- Yeah. Thanks.
- [LAUGHING]

I really am. Come here.

- Oh!
- [SIGHS]

- All right.
- Mm-hm.

[RACHEL SIGHS]

Here we go.

You got this. We
went over everything.

- [LAUGHS]
- Yeah, dude. Yes!

- So that's it?
- Yeah.

He signed the contract
with the therapy team.

He's fully aware.

No more bullshit or he
gets sent back to County.

Good. That's what he needs.

Scrubbing floors and
Big Book meetings.

This holistic approach
isn't working for him.

[COOPER] Well, all right then.

Guy's a lost cause anyway.
Let's protect our energy.

- For sure.
- Mm-hm.

[NURSE] Emily Mansfield.

So both options are
equally effective.

It's just a matter
of preference.

But if we put her under,
we have to come back.

That's right.

Okay.

Do you mind giving us
a minute to decide?

No, not at all.

I don't need a minute.

I don't want to come
back again, so...

[COOPER] Are you sure?

I think we should take a
minute to process this.

No, I just said I
don't need a minute.

You just heard her.

You know, let's do it.

I don't wanna wonder if
we didn't finish the job.

Okay.

- Local anesthesia it is.
- Okay.

- Yeah.
- I'll be back in 15 minutes.

Thank you.

You sure? Yeah.

Yeah? Yeah.

You don't have to do it.

No, I know. I'm okay.

Oh, thanks.

Okay, can you distract me?
Can you, like, just...?

Can you just talk?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah?

- Um...
- Just talk.

About what?

Um...

What's your favorite day

in our relationship,
do you think?

- Ever?
- Ever. Yeah.

Come on.

- Um...
- [LAUGHS]

Come on.

Probably...

Remember when we were in Serbia?

Yeah.

And we went wine tasting?

Yeah.

- Remember? Yeah?
- Yeah.

- And we... It started raining.
- Yes.

[LAUGHS]

And we went and we made love
in that castle in Novi Sad.

- Yeah, we did.
- Yeah, we did.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- What about you?
- I don't know.

I don't have a specific day
that pops into mind. I just...

I don't know. I think all
the little moments, you know.

Me too.

- Sorry.
- Don't be sorry.

- [KNOCKS ON DOOR]
- Are you ready?

Mm-hm.

Yeah. Yeah, right?

- Okay.
- Okay.

- Yep. Like this?
- Mm-hm.

- Okay.
- You're doing great.

- Okay.
- Now just...

You're doing great.
It's gonna be okay.

- You're doing great.
- Great.

Mm-hm.

[SNIFFLES]

Mm-hm.

I'm okay.

- You're okay, babe. I know.
- Mm-hm.

I'll be back. I'm
gonna pick up dinner.

Okay.

Text me. Let me know
if you need anything.

[YELLING]

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

Fuck! Fuck!

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Oh, fuck. Oh, God.

I'm gonna go to bed.

Okay.

Oh, honey. What did you expect?

[PEN TAPPING]

Is he coming?

[BRANDON SIGHS]

[SNIFFS]

Here I am, Coop.

What's on the docket today?

Want us to write about
our fucked-up childhoods?

Where's your notebook?

I lost it.

The prompt is: If you could
give your past self advice,

what would you say?

Brandon, unfortunately
that means

you've had to have learned
something before, so...

I learned that you think
you're a fucking fashion guru,

but you ain't shit but a junkie.

[COOPER] All right.

That's enough. I don't want to
hear another word from anyone.

The only sound should
be the sound of pens

scribbling on paper.

I didn't start anything.

- It doesn't matter.
- The hell it doesn't.

Take it up with your therapist.

Whatever.

[VAPE THUMPS ON TABLE]

Put your phone away.

Brandon.

[LAUGHS]

Brandon.

- Give me my fucking phone back!
- No phones in group.

- That ain't yours!
- Get it back after group.

Yeah, well, fuck
your bitch-ass group!

Y'all fucked up now!

I'm really sorry, Coop.

[SCREAMS]

Fuck this goddamn bullshit!

Flip one more piece of furniture
and you're out of here.

- You've already been warned.
- I don't give a shit anymore!

You never gave a shit
in the first place!

You motherfucker!

Tell me I'm wrong.

You don't get it.

You're not sober. I don't
want to talk to you.

- It's just me here.
- Then fuck off!

You signed the agreement.

If you don't come back
and join the group,

you're going back to jail.

Man, you on some shit I
ain't even ever seen before.

You got me all fucked up!

Back up. I'm gonna lock
myself in the office

- and call the police.
- [CRYING, SNIFFLING]

I got two little girls, man.

I know you do. I'd like
to help you if I can.

Why? You can't help
me anyway, bro.

What, you think having us
write in a journal or do yoga

is going to do anything?

I do. I do, yeah.

No. Anybody can
come to a mansion

and find their chi
or whatever the fuck.

It's just me out there, man!

It doesn't have to be.

You don't know what
it's like to be alone,

to feel alone and all that shit.

You'd be surprised.

You got your cool-guy vibe,

your fiancée,
living in Hollywood.

You don't know
shit about me, man.

Mm.

But you wanna give
me the sound bites

and the Instagram
recap, go ahead.

That's what this is, right?

We come here, spill
all our bullshit,

and you just throw us
pithy phrases like robots.

You have zero fucking clue

what it's like to have to
trick yourself every day

into actually thinking
you can fix yourself!

[CLEARS THROAT]

Sit down.

You wanna hear my shit?
Sit down. I'll tell you.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Been suicidal for the last year.

Thought I was.

I had lost control of my mind.

Thought I was headed
for an insane asylum.

Turns out I have clinical OCD.

Now I just walk around

with the obsession
that I might go crazy

and slit my fiancée's throat
and then commit suicide.

I've also become obsessed
that I have terminal cancer.

This experience has completely
destroyed my self-esteem.

And I think that I'm a total
failure of a human being.

And I oscillate

between all those thoughts

about once every 15
seconds of my waking life.

Top of that, my future
father-in-law just died.

Lung cancer.

Then my fiancée got pregnant.

Decided to have an abortion.

Now she regrets it.

I can see that she's...

She's totally broken.

And here I am

talking with you.

Giving a fuck about you.

Exactly because you have
those two little girls at home

who need more than anything

for their father to take
responsibility for his life,

for his disease.

And outside of them, because
you deserve it, Brandon.

Life's been shitty.

And here's a newsflash. It's
gonna keep on being shitty.

And you're right. It is just you
out there, like it's just me.

But it takes this.

Man, it takes this to help
us figure our shit out

and to remember that
life can also be

pretty fucking
incredible sometimes.

Love yourself, bro.
Nobody else can do that.

And either show up here

and do the work and stop
blaming everybody else,

or give this bed to
somebody who gives a fuck,

because me and Tess
and Slater and Duke

will give you
everything that we got.

But you've gotta want it,
man. You gotta want it.

More than anything.

I do want it. I
want it so badly.

I just don't know how.

[SOBBING]

I don't know how.

Take a minute to
gather yourself.

Come back out and
join the group.

Coop.

[SNIFFLES]

Just think about what
you wanna write about.

Okay.

- Sorry about that, guys.
- It's okay.

It's all good. But it shouldn't
have happened, so I apologize.

Thanks, dude.

[SIGHS]

I'm just...

I'm really sorry about that.

I'm sorry too.

Just so you know, I don't really
think you suck at fashion.

[GIGGLES]

[RACHEL] Thanks, dude.

Thank you.

All right. Show's over.

Fifteen minutes, guys.

[♪]

You don't wanna marry me?
You?! Get out of here!

Get out! Get away from me!

Chris! Get away from
me! Chris! Chris!

You okay?

Yep.

Okay.

[SNIFFLES]

What's up, baby?

Um...

It's not your fault.

And I need you to know that.

Huh?

What are we talking
about right now?

I feel really clear about this.

Wait, just... Let's...
Let's... go back for a second.

- Can I say what I need to say?
- Okay. Yeah.

Um, over the last
few weeks, I've

felt my body change, and I've...

I felt life grow inside of me,

and it made me
realize that, um...

I don't wanna wait.

I don't wanna wait. I
don't wanna freeze my eggs.

I don't want to... I
just, I wanna, um...

I wanna have a baby, Cooper.
And I wanna do that soon.

And I can't stay with
someone who I did this with.

And you didn't do
anything wrong.

You didn't do anything
wrong. You told me

how you felt, and you were
clear the whole time, and...

I just... I feel
differently now.

Okay?

I don't... I don't understand.

[STAMMERS]

- We've gotten through so much.
- Mm-hm.

And now we're at the end of it.

I'm feeling better.

Don't give up. Wha...?

No, listen...

We can work... We can
work through this.

- I don't think we can.
- Let's just talk about it.

I can't. It's not about
communication, Cooper. I...

I have to leave.
I have to leave.

I've been here my whole life,
and you have to stay here.

It's where your dreams
are, and I understand that.

But I have to go. And I've
been sacrificing that.

But I have to go and...

And find something beautiful.
I just have to be free, okay?

So I'm gonna go and I'm gonna be
at my mom's, just so you know.

Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Hold on for a second. Hold on.

Please don't do this.
Please don't do this.

Please don't do this.

Cooper, I have to.

- Okay, I have to go.
- Let's just talk about it.

Cooper. Look at me. Look at me.

This is the hardest decision

I've ever had to make
in my life, okay?

So I have to go.

- Don't go. Please don't go.
- I'll be at my mom's. Okay?

- Okay.
- I'll see you. I'll...

I'll just come there.

[DOOR CREAKS OPEN, CLOSES]

Hey, Nora. It's Cooper.
Call me as soon as you can.

Hi, Nora. It's Cooper. I
need you to call me back.

Hi, Nora. This is Cooper. I'm
trying to get a hold of you.

I, um, really need
to talk to somebody.

Hi, Nora. Call me back
as soon as you can.

It's an emergency, okay? Bye.

[SIGHS]

[GROANS]

[GROANS LOUDLY]

How are you doing with all that?

I understand how she feels.

And if I'm honest,
I could feel it too.

That's the thing, bro.

I mean, just because
you're doing better

doesn't mean she is.

She was probably putting
off her own needs

for a very long time.

That's what really gets me.

I just wasn't ready.

Clearly, she wasn't either.

That's true. Not something
to beat yourself up about.

She's just so shut down now.

Everything is like, "I'm sorry,
Cooper. I hear you, Cooper."

Heard my name more
in the last weeks

than in the eight
years we were together.

- So you guys are still talking?
- Just logistics at this point.

Um, she still has some
stuff she needs to move out,

then we'll break off contact.
I know it's not healthy.

I'm sorry, Cooper.

You just never get that
chance again, you know,

to have your first big
love make it the distance.

Hey, hey, hey. Key word is
"first" big love, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Um...

Uh, in brighter news,

I booked a screenwriting job.

It's for a feature. I found
out this week. Yeah, yeah.

I let work know I'm
gonna take some time off.

I'm gonna take my
laptop and travel.

I just booked my tickets.

Three months in South America.

Buenos Aires, Rio.

- When do you take off?
- Next week.

Yeah. He told me last
week he was leaving.

[INHALES DEEPLY]

So this is it, guys.

Time to cut the cord.

You all have such
beautiful, open minds.

And I don't know where I would
be without all your support.

Oh, man. Right back at you, bro.

[CHUCKLES]

Ahem. Thank you.

I really appreciate it, Cooper.

[CLEARS THROAT]

[CHUCKLES]

What?

It was no problem. I was
on my way to the rehab.

Oh, congratulations on
the... On the writing job.

You really... You
deserve it, Cooper.

Yeah, thanks.

You too.

Tess told me that
you sold a song

to that indie band.

I don't want it to be like this.

- Like what?
- Like awkward.

I didn't want... And I
don't want to fight or...

- Neither do I, but I...
- [SIGHS]

I can't just be friends.

Because we're not.

I can't live that lie.

What?

Nothing.

Bye, babe.

Bye.

Cooper.

He'd want you to have this.

Thanks, J.

Uh...

[CHUCKLES]

- Listen, I... You know?
- I know. Me too.

- Take care of yourself.
- I will.

Good.

Thanks for everything.

You too.

[DUKE] There he is.

- Johnny Hollywood, baby.
- Whoa!

Hey, what can I
say? I'm a badass.

[TESS] Yeah, you
are. Congrats, dude.

Thanks, Tess.

[SLATER] Off to stuff
those Brazilian babes.

- Oh!
- Ahh!

Come on.

I don't know if I'm
quite there yet, up here.

But, you know,
I'll... I don't know.

[LAUGHS]

- Oh!
- [Duke] Are you ready?

All the clients are
in the living room.

I am. That's what I'm here for.

Potential. That word
says everything, brother.

You're gonna get out
exactly what you put in.

You had some breakthroughs
here towards the end.

Got a long way to go, but I...

I believe in you.

I believe you're
gonna get there.

Just don't give up.
Don't ever give up.

And don't be such a
little asshole anymore.

Okay?

[SNIFFLES]

But seriously, bro.

We're here for you.
Reach out anytime.

- I don't wanna talk to you.
- Yeah, you do.

What am I supposed to do now?

Exactly what you've been doing.

Building good habits.
Trust yourself.

I can't do this alone, dude.

I was never always
gonna be here.

You know it's not like that.

Yeah, but I thought you'd at
least be here until I left.

You're stronger than
you think you are.

It's not about that.

It's about the
fact that I gave in

and I did what you asked,

and now you're leaving.

You can always reach out.

My dad's not talking to me.
All my friends are fuck ups.

I still need you, man.

You're just another
fucking letdown.

That's not fair.

Fuck fair. Whatever.

I'm sorry. I can't do this.

Left my spare key
in the desk drawer

- if you need to move it.
- Cool.

Um, this is for Rachel.

I knew she wasn't gonna take it.

Oh, um, I left a curling
iron on my desk as well.

It's Em's. If you could give
it to her, if you see her.

- Sure, if I see her in time.
- What do you mean?

- Oh, shit. She didn't tell you.
- Tell me what?

She's moving to Paris next week.

I'm sorry.

That's okay.

I'm not surprised.

Just a little thrown off.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

- Bye.
- Bye, Coop. Have a great trip.

- LAX, right?
- Yeah.

Bye!

Bye, Cooper!

- What is this?
- He didn't tell me.

It's my letter of recommendation
for my application.

I see.

- Should I read it right now?
- If you want. It's up to you.

[SIGHS]

"Dear Admissions Committee,

I had the pleasure
of meeting Rachel

as her rehabilitation counselor.

I can say unequivocally

that Rachel is one of the most
promising people I've ever met.

Emphasis on 'people,
' not 'client.'

I could be writing this
letter from the perspective

of how much I gave to her

and how much she learned
during her time here.

But the truth is that
she gave more to me

than she received.

Her ability to flourish
in the face of crisis

has been incredible.

How fearless she's become.

I believe vulnerability is
the greatest form of courage.

And Rachel's exhibited
nothing but that.

Courage of the highest degree.

She had the courage at 18
to face her darkest hour.

To come to L.A.
and seek treatment

for a disease that no
longer defines her.

To face the backlash from
her friends and family

and pursue this application.

It's an inspiration to witness.

I don't personally know

the first thing
about high fashion,

but I do know through Rachel now

that you can't hold someone back

who's conquered their own mind.

And for that, I'll
remain forever indebted.

All of us need the
help of other people.

Give this young woman
a chance, I beg of you.

I can think of no one more
deserving of your education.

"Sincerely, Cooper Ganz."

[CHUCKLES]

["LOVE ME LIKE A FIRE" PLAYING]

Oh, my God, I got in. I got in!

Wait, wait! No way!

Would you mind
turning up this song?

Yes!

♪ Love me like a fire ♪

♪ And I'll love
you Like a flood ♪

♪ I'll give you
Everything I am ♪

♪ Down to the
vapors In my blood ♪

♪ I'll be your broken levee
If you will be my drug ♪

♪ Love me like a fire, girl ♪

♪ And I'll love
you Like a flood ♪

♪ Love me like an anchor ♪

♪ And I'll love
you Like a rock ♪

♪ I'll give you
Everything I have ♪

♪ Even the things
I haven't got ♪

♪ I'll tell you
That I love you ♪

♪ When you're worried
That I'll stop ♪

♪ Love me Like an anchor, girl ♪

♪ And I'll love
you Like a rock ♪

♪ Come on now and love me ♪

♪ I need you to love me ♪

♪ Come on, baby ♪

♪ And love me ♪

♪ Love me like an altar ♪

♪ And I'll love
you Like a church ♪

♪ I'll give you
Everything I can ♪

♪ Through the good
times And the worst ♪

♪ I'll tell you I've
never done things ♪

♪ When I can see You
want to be the first ♪

♪ Love me like an altar, girl ♪

♪ And I'll love
you Like a church ♪

♪ Love me like a seraph ♪

♪ And I'll love
you Like a saint ♪

♪ I'll give you
Everything you need ♪

♪ And I'll never
need To be thanked ♪

♪ Just promise
You'll remind me ♪

♪ When we're old And
my mind goes blank ♪

♪ That you loved me
Like a seraph, girl ♪

♪ And I loved you Like a saint ♪

♪ Come on now and love me ♪

♪ I need you to love me ♪

♪ Come on, baby ♪

♪ And love me ♪

♪ Love me like a monkey ♪

♪ And I'll love
you Like a vine ♪

♪ I'll give you
Everything I have ♪

♪ If you'll let
me Call you mine ♪

♪ I'll put you On my shoulders ♪

♪ Up all the mountains
That we'll climb ♪

♪ Love me like a monkey, girl ♪

♪ And I'll love
you Like a vine ♪

♪ Come on now and love me ♪

♪ I need you to love me ♪

♪ Come on, baby ♪

♪ And love me ♪

♪ Come on, baby I
need you to love me ♪

♪ I need you to love me ♪

♪ Come on, baby ♪

♪ And love me ♪