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1
00:00:02,793 --> 00:00:05,310
Rule one of witness protection:
trust no one.
2
00:00:05,344 --> 00:00:07,379
How am I supposed to be married
to this?
3
00:00:07,413 --> 00:00:10,000
- Whoa! Married?
- You are the Fultons.
4
00:00:10,034 --> 00:00:13,862
And you love each other so much,
your lives depend on it.
5
00:00:13,896 --> 00:00:15,896
I'’m not leaving Calvin.
6
00:00:15,931 --> 00:00:19,655
Let'’s just say you don't bring
home
your ecstasy dealer to meet your
parents.
7
00:00:21,310 --> 00:00:25,172
- Cash.
- And I think it goes without
saying that we will not now,
8
00:00:25,206 --> 00:00:29,137
nor will we ever have sex.
Physical intimacy with me is
earned.
9
00:00:29,172 --> 00:00:31,724
Thank you for calling Adore Me
Cosmetics. This is Franklin
speaking.
10
00:00:31,758 --> 00:00:34,655
Bartolo! I might be a little
drunk.
11
00:00:34,689 --> 00:00:38,206
- But we are entirely
incompatible.
- This is witness protection.
12
00:00:38,241 --> 00:00:40,206
Not crime victim tinder.
13
00:00:40,241 --> 00:00:42,448
I know we haven'’t gotten off to
the best start...
14
00:00:42,482 --> 00:00:45,137
But I truly want us to be a
team.
15
00:00:46,344 --> 00:00:47,758
[long, nasty burp]
16
00:00:50,655 --> 00:00:53,586
[soothing, meditative music]
17
00:01:01,724 --> 00:01:06,551
[meditative music continues]
18
00:01:07,103 --> 00:01:10,068
[birds chirp]
19
00:01:27,379 --> 00:01:30,310
[meditative music continues]
20
00:01:34,241 --> 00:01:35,655
[thump]
21
00:01:37,793 --> 00:01:42,758
[meditative music continues]
22
00:01:42,793 --> 00:01:45,758
- [vomits and coughs]
- [music abruptly stops]
23
00:01:47,448 --> 00:01:50,413
[sighs and breathes]
24
00:01:53,103 --> 00:01:54,517
Ugh.
25
00:01:54,551 --> 00:01:57,482
[heavy bass rock music]
26
00:02:08,206 --> 00:02:10,862
- [club dance music starts]
- [Manfindr app chimes]
27
00:02:10,896 --> 00:02:13,862
More than I thought.
28
00:02:14,517 --> 00:02:17,000
[incoming message chime]
29
00:02:17,034 --> 00:02:19,827
- [outgoing message swoosh]
- [incoming message chime]
30
00:02:19,862 --> 00:02:22,827
[incoming message chime]
31
00:02:23,137 --> 00:02:26,034
Thought you'’d never ask.
32
00:02:26,068 --> 00:02:29,000
[club dance music continues]
33
00:02:33,310 --> 00:02:36,275
Do you want a drink?
34
00:02:36,862 --> 00:02:39,724
I'’m good. Thanks.
35
00:02:40,275 --> 00:02:42,103
Okay. Well...
36
00:02:42,137 --> 00:02:46,068
If memory serves, you wanted me
to do...
37
00:02:46,103 --> 00:02:49,379
- [buttons rip from shirt]
- Yes, sir!
38
00:02:49,862 --> 00:02:51,551
Let'’s get these off, shall we?
39
00:02:52,379 --> 00:02:53,965
Whatever you say, sir.
40
00:02:57,551 --> 00:03:00,586
[club dance music continues]
41
00:03:04,034 --> 00:03:05,413
[thump]
42
00:03:15,068 --> 00:03:16,931
Thong.
43
00:03:16,965 --> 00:03:19,896
- You like?
- Absolutely.
44
00:03:19,931 --> 00:03:22,896
[club dance music gets louder]
45
00:03:24,034 --> 00:03:27,620
[happy, whistling music starts]
46
00:03:28,965 --> 00:03:31,827
- [remote locking beeps]
- [happy, whistling musics
continues]
47
00:03:31,862 --> 00:03:34,034
- [happy music ends abruptly]
- Oh my Lord!
48
00:03:34,068 --> 00:03:36,206
[Lenny] Holy shit!
49
00:03:37,448 --> 00:03:39,379
Oh. Where are my manners.
50
00:03:39,413 --> 00:03:41,896
Franklin, this is Hungry Bottom
Bitch Lenny.
51
00:03:41,931 --> 00:03:43,517
[Lenny] It'’s my user name.
52
00:03:43,551 --> 00:03:47,241
Hungry Bottom Bitch Lenny, this
is Franklin.
Also known as The Judgment
Queen.
53
00:03:47,586 --> 00:03:49,931
- I'’m his husband.
- You'’re married?
54
00:03:49,965 --> 00:03:52,137
- I dunno. Are we babe?
- Of course we...
55
00:03:52,172 --> 00:03:53,551
Are you trying to ruin
everything?
56
00:03:53,586 --> 00:03:55,586
What do you care since you'’re
gonna be gone soon anyway?
57
00:03:55,620 --> 00:03:57,724
Oh, so you'’re just gonna blow
our cover.
58
00:03:57,758 --> 00:03:59,551
- [door knocks]
- Who is that?
59
00:03:59,586 --> 00:04:01,482
- The neighbors.
- Did you hit your head?
60
00:04:01,517 --> 00:04:04,413
[Franklin] No! After what you
said last night,
I thought I would invite the
neighbors over.
61
00:04:04,862 --> 00:04:07,482
- [door knocks]
- We can'’t keep them waiting.
What do you do for work?
62
00:04:07,517 --> 00:04:10,103
- Why the fuck does that matter?
- Just... shhh!
63
00:04:10,137 --> 00:04:11,827
- Larry?
- Lenny.
64
00:04:11,862 --> 00:04:14,103
Lenny. Whatever. What do you do
for work?
65
00:04:14,137 --> 00:04:16,586
- I'’m an insurance salesman.
- Okay, great. Easy story.
66
00:04:16,620 --> 00:04:19,379
Uh, get dressed, and we'’ll say
that you were here to sell us
insurance.
67
00:04:19,413 --> 00:04:23,448
Find his shorts! [calling to
neighbors] I'’ll be right there!
I have my hands full!
68
00:04:24,137 --> 00:04:26,068
- Button your shirt!
- Yeah, that'’s not going to be
possible.
69
00:04:26,103 --> 00:04:27,482
[Franklin] What happened? Why
did you not even--
70
00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:28,965
Hey! Don'’t kink shame him.
71
00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:31,137
I'’m not! Get him into the
kitchen!
72
00:04:31,172 --> 00:04:32,620
Come on. Let'’s go.
73
00:04:33,034 --> 00:04:34,551
- [whoosh]
- [suspenseful music starts]
74
00:04:34,586 --> 00:04:37,068
- I thought you said he wasn'’t
going to be home!
- Shhh! Be quiet!
75
00:04:37,103 --> 00:04:39,758
- [Calvin] Peter are you home?
- [Peter] I'’ll be right there.
76
00:04:39,793 --> 00:04:42,758
- Where the fuck should I hide?
- [Calvin] Who are you talking
to?
77
00:04:44,689 --> 00:04:47,241
- [door slams]
- Hey. Calvin.
78
00:04:47,275 --> 00:04:49,586
- [Peter] I thought you were
going to brunch with Sam and
Dave.
79
00:04:49,620 --> 00:04:52,413
[Calvin] I was, but Sam'’s sick.
80
00:04:52,448 --> 00:04:54,448
[Calvin] What are you doing in
the guest room?
81
00:04:54,482 --> 00:04:57,965
[Peter] Oh, I was looking for my
running shoes.
Do you know where they are?
82
00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:01,000
[Calvin] The really smelly ones?
I put those in the bathroom.
83
00:05:01,862 --> 00:05:04,827
[door opens then shuts]
84
00:05:05,517 --> 00:05:06,965
- [Calvin] Mmmm.
- [kissing sounds]
85
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:10,620
- [pensive music]
- [kissing sounds]
86
00:05:10,655 --> 00:05:13,586
- [Calvin] What'’s this for?
- [Peter] Because I felt like
it.
87
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,827
- [Peter] Wanna have sex before
you go out?
- [Calvin] Fuck yeah!
88
00:05:16,862 --> 00:05:19,827
[Peter] Go to the bedroom. I'’ll
be right there.
89
00:05:24,068 --> 00:05:27,034
- [door opens]
- Give it five minutes, then get
out of here.
90
00:05:27,724 --> 00:05:30,517
[door closes]
91
00:05:30,551 --> 00:05:33,517
[pensive music continues]
92
00:05:38,724 --> 00:05:41,689
[musak with bossa nova beat]
93
00:05:59,482 --> 00:06:02,206
[musak with bossa nova beat
continues]
94
00:06:03,758 --> 00:06:05,448
So glad you could come.
95
00:06:06,586 --> 00:06:08,241
Me, too.
96
00:06:08,275 --> 00:06:11,241
[musak with bossa nova beat
continues]
97
00:06:16,241 --> 00:06:17,827
[clunk]
98
00:06:18,068 --> 00:06:19,689
It'’s beautiful. [laughs]
99
00:06:19,724 --> 00:06:22,655
[musak with bossa nova beat
continues]
100
00:06:24,379 --> 00:06:25,758
[scritch]
101
00:06:25,793 --> 00:06:28,758
[musak with bossa nova beat
continues]
102
00:06:45,068 --> 00:06:47,793
Ah! Out the window!
103
00:06:47,827 --> 00:06:49,517
I'’m not going outside like this.
104
00:06:49,551 --> 00:06:51,620
[Owen] [distant] I don'’t care if
you'’re naked.
105
00:06:51,655 --> 00:06:54,103
[laughs] Owen'’s just running a
little late.
106
00:06:54,137 --> 00:06:55,586
He'’s just getting out of the
shower.
107
00:06:55,620 --> 00:06:57,965
- Please be quiet.
- You just shouted at me!
108
00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:01,000
- [musak with bossa nova beat]
- And he has a brain injury.
109
00:07:05,137 --> 00:07:08,896
Here. Put these on.
110
00:07:10,068 --> 00:07:12,344
- These are not going to stay
up.
- If you hold them up, they
will.
111
00:07:12,379 --> 00:07:16,103
- While I'’m dangling outside the
window?
- It'’s a single story house, not
the Empire State Building.
112
00:07:16,137 --> 00:07:19,482
You know, I don'’t think I wanna
go out the window.
I have a bad wrist. It'’s not
113
00:07:19,517 --> 00:07:21,068
[Owen] You'’re gonna be fine. Get
up on the counter.
114
00:07:21,103 --> 00:07:23,241
- This is not a good idea. Ow!
- Up you go!
115
00:07:23,275 --> 00:07:25,034
[Lenny] Careful!
116
00:07:25,068 --> 00:07:27,517
Come on! Open up the window.
117
00:07:27,551 --> 00:07:29,310
- Open it up!
- It'’s stuck!
118
00:07:29,344 --> 00:07:32,310
[musak with bossa nova beat]
119
00:07:37,482 --> 00:07:40,551
Do you mind if I put this in the
fridge?
It needs to stay cool.
120
00:07:41,379 --> 00:07:44,965
[Distant voice] Those are my
balls! Jesus Christ!
121
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,793
[musak with bossa nova beat
continues]
122
00:07:46,827 --> 00:07:49,413
Is Owen... okay?
123
00:07:49,448 --> 00:07:52,517
He'’s just looking for his
medication. I'’ll take this.
124
00:07:53,896 --> 00:07:56,862
[Owen grunts]
125
00:07:57,413 --> 00:07:58,862
[Franklin] What are you doing?
126
00:07:58,896 --> 00:08:01,310
- The stupid lock is stuck!
- You have to wiggle it the
special way.
127
00:08:01,344 --> 00:08:04,586
safe.
- What the fuck are you talking
about?
- [Franklin] It is a WitSec
128
00:08:04,620 --> 00:08:07,310
Do you not read any of the
Where are you pants?
129
00:08:07,344 --> 00:08:10,275
- You didn'’t find his shorts?
- I am hosting! Get out of my
way!
130
00:08:11,206 --> 00:08:15,068
[Franklin] Come on! It'’s
supposed to open when you wiggle
it. Why won'’t this open?
131
00:08:15,103 --> 00:08:17,172
It'’s supposed to open when you
wiggle it!
132
00:08:17,206 --> 00:08:18,862
[window lock wiggling]
133
00:08:18,896 --> 00:08:21,862
My brother has a kid, and nobody
can open those.
134
00:08:25,517 --> 00:08:28,689
We can figure that out later.
Come over to
the sink. You have to wet your
hair.
135
00:08:28,724 --> 00:08:31,310
- What? No!
- I told them you were
showering. Your hair needs to be
wet.
136
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:34,482
- I could have used a dryer.
- Did you hear a dryer? Put your
head in the
137
00:08:34,517 --> 00:08:37,551
Ahhhh! No! Fuck me blue!
138
00:08:37,586 --> 00:08:40,965
- [musak with bossa nova beat]
- [distant screams]
139
00:08:41,310 --> 00:08:45,413
Stop dripping on your shirt.
You'’re supposed to be
getting out of the shower, not a
hurricane.
140
00:08:46,137 --> 00:08:49,482
I'’m sorry for not turning off
physics before sticking my head
in ice water.
141
00:08:49,517 --> 00:08:52,862
- I bet our neighbors are
enjoying the show.
- Oh, it'’s fine. I told them you
had a brain injury.
142
00:08:52,896 --> 00:08:54,482
- What...?!
- Uh! Chh!
143
00:08:54,517 --> 00:08:57,310
- We need to figure out how to
get rid of...
- My name'’s Lenny.
144
00:08:57,344 --> 00:09:00,620
- [Owen and Franklin] SHHHH!
- Okay. Oh! A tour. A house
tour.
145
00:09:00,655 --> 00:09:03,758
I will take them on a tour of
the bedroom and the dining room
and you can sneak him out the
front door.
146
00:09:04,275 --> 00:09:07,172
- Fine by me. What about my
shorts?
- I'’ll get you some shorts and
I'’ll leave them in the hallway.
147
00:09:08,620 --> 00:09:12,241
- [musak with bossa nova beat]
- Hello again. I just put your
delicious cake in the fridge.
148
00:09:12,275 --> 00:09:15,310
[Franklin] [forced laughter]
Ooh! I know what would be fun.
149
00:09:15,344 --> 00:09:18,310
How about a house tour? Yeah.
Let'’s take you on a house tour.
150
00:09:20,413 --> 00:09:23,655
[ominous drone starts]
151
00:09:23,689 --> 00:09:25,103
- [ominous drone gets louder]
- [Owen] Wait a minute!
152
00:09:25,137 --> 00:09:28,103
- [distant rock band plays]
- [distant crowd noises]
153
00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:32,344
[Axel] I said, wait a minute!
154
00:09:32,931 --> 00:09:35,862
Tommy. What are you doing here?
155
00:09:37,172 --> 00:09:39,620
What'’s this I hear from the guys
about you quitting?
156
00:09:45,103 --> 00:09:48,310
- Well, I--
- Didn'’t your mother get the
money you asked me to give her?
157
00:09:50,172 --> 00:09:54,068
street?
- Yes.
- [Tommy] And didn'’t that money
save her from
158
00:09:54,103 --> 00:09:59,655
- Yes.
- And didn'’t you agree that if I
gave your mother that money
that you would work for me?
159
00:09:59,689 --> 00:10:03,000
[Axel] Yes, but--
- And... Aren'’t you getting
paid?
160
00:10:03,551 --> 00:10:07,000
- Oh.
- Yeah, but I was thinking that
eight months
seems like a fair amount of
161
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:11,068
[laughs] Oh, is that what you
think?
162
00:10:11,103 --> 00:10:14,068
[distant, driving rock beat
continues]
163
00:10:15,344 --> 00:10:18,655
Eight months is fair. Hmmm.
164
00:10:20,310 --> 00:10:22,413
What else do you think?
165
00:10:25,172 --> 00:10:27,793
Do you think I'’m a... idiot?
166
00:10:28,206 --> 00:10:32,758
- What...?
- Do you think I am a fucking
idiot?
167
00:10:32,793 --> 00:10:38,275
stupid bitch and then
- No.
- [Tommy] Because only an idiot
would hand
168
00:10:38,310 --> 00:10:40,551
let her dipshit son walk out on
his agreement!
169
00:10:40,586 --> 00:10:43,482
- [Axel] I'’m not walking out.
- You'’re goddamn right you're
not walking out!
170
00:10:43,517 --> 00:10:46,655
[Tommy] I decide what'’s fair.
Not you.
171
00:10:47,172 --> 00:10:49,793
You work for me until I tell you
you don'’t.
172
00:10:49,827 --> 00:10:51,413
Do you understand?
173
00:10:52,310 --> 00:10:54,172
If you try to quit...
174
00:10:55,620 --> 00:10:57,655
- if you go to the cops...
- I would never go to the cops.
175
00:10:57,689 --> 00:11:02,793
[Tommy] If you disappear or go
to the cops I will fucking kill
you.
176
00:11:02,827 --> 00:11:08,517
I will kill your fucking mother,
and anyone you have ever
fucking cared about in your
entire fucking life!
177
00:11:10,586 --> 00:11:13,448
[Tommy] You understand?
178
00:11:13,482 --> 00:11:15,310
DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!
179
00:11:16,068 --> 00:11:17,517
[Axel] I understand.
180
00:11:20,068 --> 00:11:22,000
Good.
181
00:11:26,068 --> 00:11:27,758
- Get out there.
[Whoosh]
182
00:11:29,068 --> 00:11:30,724
- Oh! Oh!
- Whoa!
[thump]
183
00:11:30,758 --> 00:11:33,413
[Owen] My dick! Oh!
184
00:11:39,206 --> 00:11:42,517
[Owen] Where are my manners?
Uh, this is Lenny.
185
00:11:42,551 --> 00:11:44,275
Hello.
186
00:11:44,310 --> 00:11:46,862
- Hello.
- Hi.
187
00:11:47,448 --> 00:11:50,379
He'’s painting him! Owen is an
amateur painter.
He started back in therapy.
188
00:11:52,344 --> 00:11:56,517
[whispered] Why would you...
[louder] I don'’t really like
to tell people about my
painting.
189
00:11:56,551 --> 00:12:02,172
But you'’re so talented. Here's
your shorts. [laughs] He... He
spilled paint on his shorts.
190
00:12:02,206 --> 00:12:04,034
[Franklin] Artists! Am I right?
[laughs]
191
00:12:04,068 --> 00:12:08,896
Yeah, Owen hired Lenny as a
model
to study the human body.
192
00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:11,586
I don'’t need the money.
193
00:12:11,620 --> 00:12:14,586
I just really love to watch an
artist grow.
194
00:12:15,344 --> 00:12:19,206
- [soundlessly mouths "“Leave."”]
- Well. It was nice to meet you.
195
00:12:29,241 --> 00:12:30,620
[upbeat pop song starts]
196
00:12:30,655 --> 00:12:33,620
[Don'’t kill my vibe, baby]
197
00:12:33,655 --> 00:12:39,068
[I'’m walking on the moon.÷}
198
00:12:39,103 --> 00:12:42,172
[Don'’t kill my vibe, baby]
199
00:12:42,206 --> 00:12:47,551
[I'’m walking on the moon]
200
00:12:47,586 --> 00:12:49,724
[Walk with me!]
201
00:13:21,793 --> 00:13:24,689
[Don'’t kill my vibe, baby]
202
00:13:24,724 --> 00:13:30,620
[I'’m walking on the moon.]
203
00:13:30,655 --> 00:13:33,655
[Don'’t kill my vibe, baby]
204
00:13:33,689 --> 00:13:39,172
[I'’m walking on the moon.]
17156
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