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1
00:00:01,490 --> 00:00:05,009
Hello, I'm Gene Sing.
I have a reservation.
2
00:00:05,139 --> 00:00:07,410
Wonderful. I see we have you
here for one night.
3
00:00:07,540 --> 00:00:09,710
- Yes. - So, where are you guys
coming from?
4
00:00:09,849 --> 00:00:11,320
Guys?
5
00:00:11,460 --> 00:00:12,980
Uh, you can see me?
6
00:00:13,109 --> 00:00:15,289
I just mean, uh, you
7
00:00:15,419 --> 00:00:17,070
and your luggage, because here
8
00:00:17,199 --> 00:00:19,989
at Woodstone Mansion, we
treat your bags like people.
9
00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:21,899
Oh, that's nice, I guess.
10
00:00:22,030 --> 00:00:24,469
Oh, my. Ooh-wee!
11
00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:25,795
Who's this tall drink of water?
12
00:00:25,820 --> 00:00:27,690
Ma'am.
13
00:00:27,820 --> 00:00:29,339
Biscuits and gravy,
you're a ghost.
14
00:00:29,469 --> 00:00:31,210
Oh, my God.
How's my hat?
15
00:00:31,339 --> 00:00:33,299
- Still small and ugly.
- Shut up, Thor.
16
00:00:33,429 --> 00:00:36,350
I'm sorry, uh,
this lady can see us?
17
00:00:36,479 --> 00:00:37,676
Yeah, yeah,
she fell down the stairs
18
00:00:37,700 --> 00:00:39,326
and hit her head
and now she can see ghosts.
19
00:00:39,350 --> 00:00:41,439
She is freak, but has
good attitude about it.
20
00:00:41,570 --> 00:00:42,896
How is it we've never
seen you before?
21
00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:44,359
Did you just expire
on the property?
22
00:00:44,490 --> 00:00:47,320
I am a poltergeist.
23
00:00:47,450 --> 00:00:49,969
Which is a ghost attached
to a person instead of a place.
24
00:00:50,100 --> 00:00:51,206
- Well, now.
- You're kidding me.
25
00:00:51,229 --> 00:00:53,189
Basically, wherever
Gene goes, I go.
26
00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,369
- Who's Gene?
- Sam, we're gonna need a minute,
27
00:00:55,500 --> 00:00:56,820
if you could just
stall for a bit.
28
00:00:56,939 --> 00:00:59,020
The credit card machine
looks like it didn't work,
29
00:00:59,159 --> 00:01:00,500
so I will just, um,
30
00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:03,289
need you to fill out this form.
31
00:01:03,420 --> 00:01:05,420
So, I'm Alberta Haynes.
Jazz singer.
32
00:01:05,549 --> 00:01:07,209
Murder victim.
33
00:01:07,340 --> 00:01:09,210
I enjoy long moonlit strolls,
34
00:01:09,340 --> 00:01:10,939
right up to the boundary
of the property.
35
00:01:11,039 --> 00:01:13,560
Pleasure to meet you.
The name's Saul Henry.
36
00:01:13,689 --> 00:01:16,349
The Saul Henry who used to play
for the Negro Leagues?
37
00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:18,039
I remember reading about you
38
00:01:18,170 --> 00:01:19,585
in the papers. Y'all,
he played shortstop
39
00:01:19,609 --> 00:01:21,920
for the
Delaware Horseshoe Crabs.
40
00:01:22,049 --> 00:01:23,700
Until one day,
41
00:01:23,829 --> 00:01:26,049
we were up against
the Connecticut Quahogs
42
00:01:26,180 --> 00:01:28,530
and I was hit in the head
by a yakker.
43
00:01:28,659 --> 00:01:29,840
And it was lights out!
44
00:01:29,969 --> 00:01:31,879
- Oh!
- For ol' Saul Henry.
45
00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:33,060
Here you go.
46
00:01:33,189 --> 00:01:34,319
Samantha, keep stalling.
47
00:01:34,450 --> 00:01:37,020
Oh, we also ask
48
00:01:37,150 --> 00:01:38,719
our customers to fill out
49
00:01:38,849 --> 00:01:40,126
one of these comment cards.
50
00:01:40,150 --> 00:01:41,939
Before my stay?
51
00:01:42,069 --> 00:01:44,509
Yeah, 'cause then we have
a baseline to compare it to
52
00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:46,840
when you fill the other one out
at the end of your stay.
53
00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:50,079
So, what's it like
being attached to a person?
54
00:01:50,210 --> 00:01:51,379
Oh, it's not bad.
55
00:01:51,509 --> 00:01:52,859
You see, Gene here's a dentist
56
00:01:52,990 --> 00:01:54,520
who likes to travel the world
57
00:01:54,650 --> 00:01:56,780
and take beautiful photographs.
58
00:01:56,909 --> 00:01:59,430
But of all the exotic locales
I've been to,
59
00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:01,260
why, you're the most
breathtaking sight
60
00:02:01,390 --> 00:02:04,000
I've ever seen.
61
00:02:04,129 --> 00:02:06,310
Wow, are we in Nebraska?
'Cause that was corny.
62
00:02:06,439 --> 00:02:08,139
Just know when
you're beat, Peter.
63
00:02:08,270 --> 00:02:09,620
Uh, here's your key.
64
00:02:09,750 --> 00:02:11,530
But before you leave,
I would love
65
00:02:11,659 --> 00:02:12,939
to just talk to you a little bit
66
00:02:12,969 --> 00:02:14,075
about the woodwork
here in the lobby.
67
00:02:14,099 --> 00:02:15,099
You know what?
I'm good.
68
00:02:15,229 --> 00:02:16,009
- Thanks.
- And we're off.
69
00:02:16,150 --> 00:02:17,150
Oh!
70
00:02:17,189 --> 00:02:18,449
Well, uh,
71
00:02:18,579 --> 00:02:19,969
enjoy your visit.
72
00:02:20,110 --> 00:02:21,515
You too. Damn it.
Why did I say that?
73
00:02:21,539 --> 00:02:23,069
Uh... come up to my room
74
00:02:23,199 --> 00:02:25,280
and smell a glass of wine later.
75
00:02:25,420 --> 00:02:27,680
Is very nice invitation,
Thor think about it.
76
00:02:27,810 --> 00:02:29,719
Shut up.
I'll be there.
77
00:02:38,079 --> 00:02:40,909
So, with your nuptials
fast approaching,
78
00:02:41,039 --> 00:02:42,756
we've got to start
nailing down some details.
79
00:02:42,780 --> 00:02:44,650
We've got so much
to tell Samantha to do.
80
00:02:44,780 --> 00:02:46,539
Well, I was actually
thinking it might be fun
81
00:02:46,610 --> 00:02:48,129
to have a theme for the wedding.
82
00:02:48,259 --> 00:02:50,180
Ooh, a theme could be fun.
83
00:02:50,310 --> 00:02:52,310
Yes, yes, perhaps something
like "enchanted garden"
84
00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,139
or "springtime in Paris"?
85
00:02:54,270 --> 00:02:57,099
Mm. Actually, I was thinking...
86
00:02:57,229 --> 00:02:58,670
"dinosaurs."
87
00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:00,669
- Dinosaurs?
- I-I mean, unless it's overdone.
88
00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:02,515
I mean, I will admit
that I'm not up to date
89
00:03:02,539 --> 00:03:03,710
on the latest wedding trends.
90
00:03:03,849 --> 00:03:06,889
Isaac, I love that you
have such passions,
91
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,110
but this new
dinosaur fixation...
92
00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:11,330
it's really just your hobby.
93
00:03:11,460 --> 00:03:13,379
And the wedding, well,
94
00:03:13,509 --> 00:03:15,469
it really should be
about both of us.
95
00:03:15,599 --> 00:03:18,120
As a wedding planner, it is
my job to remain impartial.
96
00:03:18,250 --> 00:03:19,569
However, this idea
is so terrible,
97
00:03:19,689 --> 00:03:21,120
I really must side with Nigel.
98
00:03:21,250 --> 00:03:22,756
Well, we will be
walking down the aisle
99
00:03:22,780 --> 00:03:25,870
to the Jurassic Parktheme,
and that is nonnegotiable.
100
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,639
How's the planning going?
I can't tell you
101
00:03:27,699 --> 00:03:28,885
how excited I am to
attend this wedding.
102
00:03:28,909 --> 00:03:30,590
I already know exactly
what I'm gonna wear.
103
00:03:31,789 --> 00:03:32,805
You've already made
that joke, Peter.
104
00:03:32,829 --> 00:03:34,699
Comedy gets better
with repetition.
105
00:03:36,139 --> 00:03:38,229
our stag do's.
106
00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:39,139
I believe you call them
107
00:03:39,270 --> 00:03:40,099
bachelor parties.
108
00:03:40,229 --> 00:03:41,449
Mine is tonight.
109
00:03:41,579 --> 00:03:43,579
I'm here if you need
any guidance.
110
00:03:43,710 --> 00:03:44,889
I know we can't get drunk
111
00:03:45,020 --> 00:03:47,280
or drive around Atlantic City
in a stretch Escalade,
112
00:03:47,409 --> 00:03:49,240
but we can still party.
Come on!
113
00:03:49,370 --> 00:03:51,849
I went to a travel agent
convention in Atlantic City.
114
00:03:51,979 --> 00:03:53,436
The battle for room
upgrades was intense,
115
00:03:53,460 --> 00:03:54,500
let me tell you.
116
00:03:54,639 --> 00:03:56,379
Don't you worry, Trevor.
117
00:03:56,509 --> 00:03:57,710
We Brits know how to have fun.
118
00:03:57,810 --> 00:03:59,900
Which is why for my party,
we shall celebrate
119
00:04:00,030 --> 00:04:01,030
with toasts,
120
00:04:01,159 --> 00:04:03,729
roasts, and if things
get really wild,
121
00:04:03,860 --> 00:04:06,120
an off-color limerick.
122
00:04:06,259 --> 00:04:07,780
Oh! That sounds terrible.
123
00:04:07,909 --> 00:04:09,795
Isaac, please tell me you have
something better planned.
124
00:04:09,819 --> 00:04:12,960
Mine will be a wild,
ribald night of reciting
125
00:04:13,090 --> 00:04:14,960
William Shakespeare's...
wait for it...
126
00:04:15,090 --> 00:04:16,269
sonnets.
127
00:04:16,399 --> 00:04:17,790
You two are made for each other.
128
00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:19,310
- Oh, thank you.
- Thank you.
129
00:04:19,439 --> 00:04:21,399
Well, I am excited
to attend both.
130
00:04:21,529 --> 00:04:23,076
I already have the
perfect outfit for each.
131
00:04:23,100 --> 00:04:23,839
It's still not funny.
132
00:04:23,970 --> 00:04:25,620
Just wait.
133
00:04:25,750 --> 00:04:27,100
I can't believe I'm here
134
00:04:27,230 --> 00:04:29,189
with theSaul Henry.
135
00:04:31,279 --> 00:04:32,930
And sleeping Gene.
136
00:04:33,060 --> 00:04:35,069
Well, unfortunately,
uh, Gene didn't order
137
00:04:35,199 --> 00:04:37,899
- any wine for us to smell.
- Child, that's all right.
138
00:04:38,029 --> 00:04:39,266
I'm more of a Sazerac
kind of girl myself.
139
00:04:39,290 --> 00:04:41,509
Best one I ever had was
at Sunny's Sunshine Club.
140
00:04:41,639 --> 00:04:43,730
What?
I used to headline Sunny's.
141
00:04:43,860 --> 00:04:45,550
- What?
- Yeah.
142
00:04:45,689 --> 00:04:47,560
Say, did you know
Tommy Two Times?
143
00:04:47,689 --> 00:04:49,300
He used to work
the door back in '23.
144
00:04:49,430 --> 00:04:51,779
Know him? That fool still owed
me five dollars when I died.
145
00:04:51,909 --> 00:04:53,389
Ooh, I get mad
just thinking about it.
146
00:04:53,519 --> 00:04:54,740
well, you know something,
147
00:04:54,870 --> 00:04:56,196
you're kind of cute
when you're mad.
148
00:04:56,220 --> 00:04:57,959
- Oh, you think so?
- Mm-hmm.
149
00:04:59,569 --> 00:05:01,879
Oh! Mm...
150
00:05:02,009 --> 00:05:03,310
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh...
151
00:05:03,439 --> 00:05:04,439
Oh, that's his prostate.
152
00:05:04,569 --> 00:05:05,970
- Oh.
- But don't worry,
153
00:05:06,100 --> 00:05:07,899
we'll have a solid 45 minutes
when I get back.
154
00:05:08,529 --> 00:05:11,100
Hoo-wee.
155
00:05:11,230 --> 00:05:13,449
That was the best limerick yet.
156
00:05:13,579 --> 00:05:16,110
Oh, Peter, you do amuse me.
157
00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:17,735
This is the worst bachelor party
I've ever been to,
158
00:05:17,759 --> 00:05:19,420
and I was at one
where a flaming shot
159
00:05:19,550 --> 00:05:21,290
set the groom's beard on fire.
160
00:05:21,420 --> 00:05:25,029
I once saw the city
of Charleston go up in flames.
161
00:05:28,639 --> 00:05:30,079
Guys, a bachelor party
162
00:05:30,209 --> 00:05:31,639
is supposed to be
a depraved affair
163
00:05:31,779 --> 00:05:33,860
full of alcohol,
drugs and lap dances.
164
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,649
Lap dances?
165
00:05:35,779 --> 00:05:37,300
A lap dance is
166
00:05:37,430 --> 00:05:39,196
when someone pretending
to be working their way
167
00:05:39,220 --> 00:05:41,090
through college sits on your lap
168
00:05:41,220 --> 00:05:43,480
and grinds their junk
up against your junk.
169
00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:46,879
I think I could give it a try...
170
00:05:47,009 --> 00:05:49,009
Baxter, a little accompaniment?
171
00:05:52,970 --> 00:05:54,579
Ooh, ooh...
172
00:05:55,540 --> 00:05:57,240
Yes. Oh, my.
173
00:05:57,370 --> 00:06:00,110
Oh, my.
174
00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:01,240
Oh!
175
00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:03,889
And how do we feel about Nigel
176
00:06:04,029 --> 00:06:05,939
getting grinded on by his ex?
177
00:06:06,069 --> 00:06:08,160
Thor appreciate the artistry,
178
00:06:08,290 --> 00:06:10,250
but feel Isaac might not
179
00:06:10,379 --> 00:06:12,819
be so amused.
180
00:06:12,949 --> 00:06:15,170
I'm making my way
through university.
181
00:06:15,300 --> 00:06:17,040
Oh, yes, you are.
182
00:06:19,209 --> 00:06:20,649
So, has anyone
183
00:06:20,779 --> 00:06:22,105
spoken to Alberta?
She was supposed
184
00:06:22,129 --> 00:06:23,959
to hang out with
Saul last night.Right.
185
00:06:24,089 --> 00:06:25,730
The clinger that's attached
to the dentist
186
00:06:25,790 --> 00:06:27,879
in the Maple Suite?
So creepy.
187
00:06:28,009 --> 00:06:30,529
All I'll say is, Alberta
missed our morning walk.
188
00:06:30,660 --> 00:06:32,009
Oh! I wonder
if they hooked up.
189
00:06:32,139 --> 00:06:34,100
Good morning.
190
00:06:34,230 --> 00:06:37,100
Oh, if you fools are waiting
around for juicy details,
191
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,319
you can forget it,
192
00:06:38,449 --> 00:06:39,730
'cause I am telling you nothing.
193
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,709
No. No, no, no.
We would never.
194
00:06:41,850 --> 00:06:43,720
Good. 'Cause what happened
between me and Saul
195
00:06:43,850 --> 00:06:45,086
up in that room
is none of your business.
196
00:06:45,110 --> 00:06:46,279
And I'm talking about
197
00:06:46,420 --> 00:06:48,629
all three times.
198
00:06:48,769 --> 00:06:51,250
Nice one, Alberta!
199
00:06:51,379 --> 00:06:52,990
They did it, Jay.
200
00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:55,600
Guy comes to the Hudson Valley,
maybe to see some birds.
201
00:06:55,730 --> 00:06:58,430
Instead, he finds himself
an unknowing participant
202
00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:00,170
in an interdimensional
threesome.
203
00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:01,600
But I got to admit, though,
204
00:07:01,730 --> 00:07:04,000
as nice as the physical
element was,
205
00:07:04,129 --> 00:07:06,610
I actually kind of like Saul.
206
00:07:06,740 --> 00:07:08,089
I'll be sad to see him go.
207
00:07:08,220 --> 00:07:11,180
Bertie.Alberta. She said
she's gonna be sad
208
00:07:11,310 --> 00:07:12,959
to see him go.
Hey.
209
00:07:13,089 --> 00:07:14,569
Okay, so, checking out.
210
00:07:14,699 --> 00:07:15,709
Okay.
211
00:07:15,839 --> 00:07:17,879
- And how was your night?
- Good.
212
00:07:18,009 --> 00:07:20,449
Although there was a rather loud
213
00:07:20,579 --> 00:07:22,410
humming sound in the room.
214
00:07:22,540 --> 00:07:24,980
My bad.
But also your bad.
215
00:07:26,629 --> 00:07:28,589
Oh, I wish you weren't leaving.
216
00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:31,810
Uh... Oh.
Oh, wow, Gene.
217
00:07:31,939 --> 00:07:33,810
It says here that
you are actually
218
00:07:33,939 --> 00:07:35,420
our 1,000th customer.
219
00:07:35,550 --> 00:07:37,209
Not even close.
220
00:07:37,340 --> 00:07:39,250
And as such, you're entitled
to extend your stay
221
00:07:39,379 --> 00:07:41,016
- by an extra night, free of charge.
- Oh.
222
00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:42,949
Wow, tempting,
but, um, no, thank you.
223
00:07:43,079 --> 00:07:44,519
I think I have
to get back to Philly.
224
00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:46,170
I'll help you with your bags.Great.
225
00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:48,909
Uh, thanks a lot, folks.
Take care.Uh-huh.
226
00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:50,699
Ooh! Oh, ooh, ooh...
227
00:07:51,959 --> 00:07:53,870
Ugh, it's painful
when you're dating someone
228
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,610
who's attached to something.
229
00:07:55,750 --> 00:07:57,620
As I know,
because of the car ghost.
230
00:07:57,750 --> 00:08:00,709
You know, Jessica.
Who was my girlfriend.
231
00:08:00,839 --> 00:08:02,230
The point is I had a girlfriend.
232
00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:04,970
That was a long walk, Sasappis.
233
00:08:08,019 --> 00:08:10,019
Well, I guess this is goodbye.
234
00:08:10,149 --> 00:08:11,720
I wish we had more
time together.
235
00:08:11,850 --> 00:08:13,720
Actually, there is another way.
236
00:08:13,850 --> 00:08:15,370
Now, it's extremely painful,
237
00:08:15,500 --> 00:08:17,899
but if I can focus hard enough,
238
00:08:18,029 --> 00:08:20,639
I can actually
sort of jerk my body off
239
00:08:20,769 --> 00:08:22,290
of one host and onto another.
240
00:08:22,420 --> 00:08:23,420
You'd do that for me?
241
00:08:23,509 --> 00:08:24,949
Anything for you.
242
00:08:26,379 --> 00:08:27,665
Hey, thanks again
for everything.
243
00:08:27,689 --> 00:08:29,819
Thank you.
244
00:08:29,949 --> 00:08:32,559
Mean Gene!
245
00:08:36,830 --> 00:08:38,830
Oh!
246
00:08:42,490 --> 00:08:44,450
Come on, now!
247
00:08:46,970 --> 00:08:48,490
That Gene is a nice guy.
248
00:08:48,620 --> 00:08:49,995
- Uh, Jay?
- Good news, y'all.
249
00:08:50,019 --> 00:08:52,279
Saul jerked himself
off onto Jay.
250
00:08:52,409 --> 00:08:53,539
I'm staying.
251
00:08:53,669 --> 00:08:54,775
I mean, the poor schnook
doesn't even know
252
00:08:54,799 --> 00:08:56,240
there's a ghost attached to him.
253
00:08:56,370 --> 00:08:58,330
Saul is now attached to you.
254
00:08:58,460 --> 00:09:00,200
Oh, come on.
255
00:09:00,330 --> 00:09:01,826
Do we shower in the morning
or the night?
256
00:09:01,850 --> 00:09:04,730
You know what?
Saul loves a surprise.
257
00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:08,865
I don't know what
Thor's talking about.
258
00:09:08,889 --> 00:09:10,330
I rather like your hat.
259
00:09:10,759 --> 00:09:12,590
You little charmer.
260
00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:14,600
Yeah, but I like the woman
underneath even more.
261
00:09:14,629 --> 00:09:15,629
- Oh.
- Mm.
262
00:09:17,929 --> 00:09:19,019
I'm sorry.
263
00:09:19,149 --> 00:09:20,279
Sam.
264
00:09:20,409 --> 00:09:22,029
Do you really need to be here?
265
00:09:22,159 --> 00:09:23,240
It's my room.
266
00:09:23,370 --> 00:09:24,549
What's happening?
267
00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:25,990
What did Saul say?
268
00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:27,549
Oh, I was talking to Alberta.
269
00:09:27,679 --> 00:09:28,809
Alberta's in here, too?
270
00:09:28,950 --> 00:09:30,379
She's not attached to anyone.
271
00:09:30,509 --> 00:09:31,600
I hate this.
272
00:09:31,730 --> 00:09:33,299
She's hanging out with Saul.
273
00:09:33,429 --> 00:09:34,470
It's just...
274
00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:35,919
it's a little hard
for me and Saul
275
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:37,480
to express ourselves physically
276
00:09:37,610 --> 00:09:38,909
with you right there.
277
00:09:39,039 --> 00:09:41,090
Yeah, I mean Jay's one thing.
He needs to be here.
278
00:09:41,220 --> 00:09:42,830
But you, well...
279
00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:44,309
You know, that's just weird.
280
00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:46,220
Uh, okay, I mean, I guess
281
00:09:46,350 --> 00:09:48,309
I could go downstairs
282
00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:50,879
and just maybe
catch up on some emails.
283
00:09:51,009 --> 00:09:53,669
Wait, what? Please tell me
you're taking Alberta with you.
284
00:09:53,799 --> 00:09:55,889
I'm taking Alberta with me.
285
00:09:56,019 --> 00:09:57,019
Really?
286
00:09:57,059 --> 00:09:58,500
Jay, what do you want me
to say here?
287
00:09:58,580 --> 00:10:00,190
Nope. Mm-mm.
288
00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:01,840
I'm not gonna lie here
while two ghosts
289
00:10:01,889 --> 00:10:02,889
canoodle on top of me,
290
00:10:02,980 --> 00:10:04,460
so I'm gonna go make some tea.
291
00:10:04,590 --> 00:10:06,629
You talk to Alberta
and you figure this out.
292
00:10:06,769 --> 00:10:07,850
Let's go, Saul.
293
00:10:07,980 --> 00:10:09,509
He didn't have to say that,
294
00:10:09,639 --> 00:10:10,460
but I appreciate the warning.
295
00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:12,639
I'll see you later.
296
00:10:12,769 --> 00:10:15,080
Okay, when they get back,
you tell Jay I left.
297
00:10:15,210 --> 00:10:18,120
Then, when he falls asleep,
you make yourself scarce.
298
00:10:18,259 --> 00:10:20,186
And don't worry... I'll keep
the humming to a minimum.
299
00:10:20,210 --> 00:10:22,960
Look, I'm excited for you,
but this isn't sustainable.
300
00:10:23,090 --> 00:10:25,960
Sam, it's been a long time
since I've met a ghost
301
00:10:26,090 --> 00:10:27,480
that I'm interested in.
302
00:10:27,610 --> 00:10:30,090
This is a desert,
and I'm parched,
303
00:10:30,220 --> 00:10:33,269
and in walks this tall
drink of water.
304
00:10:33,399 --> 00:10:35,009
Do you really
want to deny me that?
305
00:10:39,059 --> 00:10:41,059
We got to tell Isaac
about this, right?
306
00:10:41,190 --> 00:10:42,605
I mean, getting
a lap dance is one thing,
307
00:10:42,629 --> 00:10:43,826
but getting a lap dance
from your ex?
308
00:10:43,850 --> 00:10:45,500
I mean, that's just naughty.
309
00:10:45,629 --> 00:10:47,149
Hey, what happens
at a bachelor party
310
00:10:47,279 --> 00:10:48,320
stays at a bachelor party.
311
00:10:48,419 --> 00:10:49,629
It's a rule, Pete.
312
00:10:49,759 --> 00:10:51,419
Well, I do love following rules.
313
00:10:51,549 --> 00:10:52,549
So?
314
00:10:52,679 --> 00:10:54,509
How was the bachelor party, hmm?
315
00:10:54,639 --> 00:10:56,379
I trust the limericks
316
00:10:56,509 --> 00:10:59,730
were sufficiently ribald?
317
00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:01,186
Nigel got a lap dance
from Jenkins!
318
00:11:01,210 --> 00:11:02,649
- Pete!
- Oh, sorry.
319
00:11:03,909 --> 00:11:05,740
Uh, uh, what is a lap dance?
320
00:11:05,870 --> 00:11:06,975
- Well, it's...
- Lap dance is when
321
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,740
someone working their
way through school
322
00:11:08,870 --> 00:11:12,399
grinds their loins against
someone else's loins.
323
00:11:12,529 --> 00:11:13,879
That's pretty good, actually.
324
00:11:14,009 --> 00:11:15,309
Uh-oh.
325
00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:17,009
I hope you boys aren't
326
00:11:17,139 --> 00:11:20,490
recounting any of the racier
limericks from last night.
327
00:11:20,620 --> 00:11:24,759
Because that would be
a real stag don't.
328
00:11:24,889 --> 00:11:25,956
What exactly happened last night
329
00:11:25,980 --> 00:11:27,629
between you and Jenkins?
330
00:11:27,759 --> 00:11:29,330
It was all innocent.
331
00:11:29,460 --> 00:11:31,679
Just a bit of stag do fun.
In fact,
332
00:11:31,809 --> 00:11:34,029
you should get a lap dance
at your party tonight.
333
00:11:34,159 --> 00:11:36,809
No, thank you.
I don't want Jenkins in my lap.
334
00:11:36,940 --> 00:11:38,139
It doesn't have to be Jenkins.
335
00:11:38,250 --> 00:11:41,429
What if we ask Sam
to get you a real stripper?
336
00:11:41,559 --> 00:11:42,730
Do they make house calls?
337
00:11:42,860 --> 00:11:44,600
Pete, you're adorable.
338
00:11:44,730 --> 00:11:46,389
That's a splendid idea.
339
00:11:46,519 --> 00:11:48,259
Then you can see
it was all in good fun.
340
00:11:48,389 --> 00:11:49,389
Oh, hey, Sam,
341
00:11:49,519 --> 00:11:50,779
we need you to hire a stripper
342
00:11:50,909 --> 00:11:52,570
for Isaac's bachelor
party tonight.
343
00:11:52,700 --> 00:11:54,789
- Okay.
- Really? That worked?
344
00:11:54,919 --> 00:11:56,066
There's a lot weirder
stuff happening.
345
00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:57,789
You caught me on a good week.
346
00:11:59,830 --> 00:12:01,309
Jay.
347
00:12:01,450 --> 00:12:03,879
- Why are you whispering?
- Shh, shh, shh. Saul's asleep.
348
00:12:04,009 --> 00:12:05,296
Is it 'cause
they were doing it all night?
349
00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:06,620
Probably.
350
00:12:06,750 --> 00:12:08,370
I can't live like this, Sam.
351
00:12:08,500 --> 00:12:10,539
The thing is, Alberta's
been in a desert.
352
00:12:10,669 --> 00:12:12,279
What?
What does that mean?
353
00:12:12,409 --> 00:12:14,409
I just think we need to
consider her feelings here.
354
00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:15,759
What about my feelings?
355
00:12:15,889 --> 00:12:17,769
I'm a person, too, Sam.
356
00:12:17,899 --> 00:12:19,769
What if we just gave her,
like, another month?
357
00:12:19,899 --> 00:12:21,470
Are you out of your mind?
358
00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:23,549
This is nuts, Sam.
359
00:12:23,679 --> 00:12:24,990
Don't raise your voice at me.
360
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,120
I can't raise my voice,
that's the point.
361
00:12:27,250 --> 00:12:28,820
I should be the priority.
362
00:12:28,950 --> 00:12:30,755
I understand Alberta's
situation, but I got a guy
363
00:12:30,779 --> 00:12:32,169
following me into the shower.
364
00:12:32,299 --> 00:12:34,649
Shh...
Into the bathroom.
365
00:12:34,779 --> 00:12:37,659
It's deeply, deeply weird.
366
00:12:37,789 --> 00:12:39,700
Okay, fine, it is weird.
367
00:12:39,830 --> 00:12:41,620
It's not fair to you.
368
00:12:41,750 --> 00:12:43,049
I think we should just insist
369
00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:44,635
that Saul jerks off
onto someone else.
370
00:12:44,659 --> 00:12:45,529
What?
371
00:12:45,659 --> 00:12:46,879
That's what they call it
372
00:12:47,009 --> 00:12:47,620
when they move to another host.
373
00:12:47,750 --> 00:12:50,799
Why not just say that?
374
00:12:52,409 --> 00:12:54,735
So, you want me to dance
for this empty chair?
375
00:12:54,759 --> 00:12:56,110
Yeah, but if you could pretend
376
00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:57,980
- that there's somebody in it?
- Right.
377
00:12:58,110 --> 00:12:58,809
- See, the thing is...
- You don't have to explain.
378
00:12:58,940 --> 00:13:00,059
That's what the money's for.
379
00:13:01,029 --> 00:13:03,679
Hey, don't "tee-hee" at him.
380
00:13:03,809 --> 00:13:04,600
That's Isaac's stripper.
381
00:13:04,730 --> 00:13:06,159
It's fine.
382
00:13:06,289 --> 00:13:09,600
This is all rather silly,
to be honest.
383
00:13:26,750 --> 00:13:28,025
This supposed to be some sort of
384
00:13:28,049 --> 00:13:30,190
peak male specimen?
385
00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:32,190
I mean, he's okay, but...
386
00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:33,539
Oh, my gods.
387
00:13:35,629 --> 00:13:37,149
What are all of those?
388
00:13:37,279 --> 00:13:38,850
I had those the summer
I caught mono.
389
00:13:38,980 --> 00:13:40,809
Oh, if only I could have
died then.
390
00:13:40,940 --> 00:13:42,720
That is a cute stuffie.
391
00:13:42,850 --> 00:13:45,809
Oh, uh, yeah, some kid
left their T. rexhere.
392
00:13:45,940 --> 00:13:48,159
Actually, that's not a T. rex.
That's a Dilophosaurus.
393
00:13:48,289 --> 00:13:50,679
- Uh, a what?
- A Dilophosaurus.
394
00:13:50,820 --> 00:13:52,690
It was a fast-moving carnivore
that roamed
395
00:13:52,820 --> 00:13:54,015
during the early
Jurassic period.
396
00:13:54,039 --> 00:13:56,340
He knows about dinosaurs?
397
00:13:56,470 --> 00:13:58,169
It's like that movie
Weird Science.
398
00:13:58,299 --> 00:14:00,610
This guy was made
in a lab for Isaac.
399
00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:02,740
Um, Samantha, could you ask him
400
00:14:02,870 --> 00:14:04,659
to roar like a Dilophosaurus?
401
00:14:05,919 --> 00:14:07,529
It's my party,
and I'm the bachelor.
402
00:14:07,659 --> 00:14:11,009
Would you maybe roar
like a Dilophosaurus?
403
00:14:11,139 --> 00:14:12,139
Actually, uh...
404
00:14:13,879 --> 00:14:16,149
...we don't really know
if Dilophosaurusesroared.
405
00:14:16,279 --> 00:14:18,480
Some scientists say it was
more like a series of clicks,
406
00:14:18,580 --> 00:14:21,669
like...
407
00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:29,289
I love lap dances!
408
00:14:31,070 --> 00:14:31,899
You've traveled
409
00:14:32,029 --> 00:14:33,289
a lot of places with Gene.
410
00:14:33,419 --> 00:14:34,730
What was your favorite?
411
00:14:34,860 --> 00:14:36,990
I guess I'd have to say Italy.
412
00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:39,299
Yeah, there was this
small little town
413
00:14:39,429 --> 00:14:41,429
in the mountains,
right outside of Positano,
414
00:14:41,559 --> 00:14:44,259
with this restaurant
with a little old nonna
415
00:14:44,389 --> 00:14:46,909
who would hand-roll pasta
every morning.
416
00:14:47,049 --> 00:14:49,220
The smells were incredible.
417
00:14:49,350 --> 00:14:50,789
What if I told you
Jay could take you
418
00:14:50,879 --> 00:14:52,220
to that little Italian town,
419
00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:54,009
and you could jerk off
onto that nonna?
420
00:14:54,139 --> 00:14:56,019
Just 'cause they say it
doesn't mean we have to.
421
00:14:56,049 --> 00:14:59,320
Oh, there you are.
422
00:14:59,450 --> 00:15:00,320
What's going on?
423
00:15:00,450 --> 00:15:02,409
- Alberta's here.
- Aw...
424
00:15:02,539 --> 00:15:04,086
Your Livings here are trying
to tear us apart
425
00:15:04,110 --> 00:15:06,149
by bribing me to move to Italy.
426
00:15:06,279 --> 00:15:08,500
What the hell, Sam?
I can't believe you.
427
00:15:08,629 --> 00:15:10,809
I get that my relationship is
an inconvenience for you,
428
00:15:10,940 --> 00:15:12,340
but that does not
give you the right
429
00:15:12,379 --> 00:15:15,159
to sabotage me and Saul,
you selfish, selfish woman.
430
00:15:15,289 --> 00:15:16,316
Alberta, I didn't mean to...
431
00:15:16,340 --> 00:15:18,470
Ah-ah-ah!
I don't want to hear it.
432
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:20,250
Come on, Saul.
433
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,179
Can you tell Jay to leave, too?
434
00:15:30,309 --> 00:15:31,669
I'd like Saul to
storm out with me.
435
00:15:33,190 --> 00:15:34,556
I'm so sorry about Sam and Jay.
436
00:15:34,580 --> 00:15:36,286
I can't believe
they would do that to us.
437
00:15:36,309 --> 00:15:37,529
Yeah, I hear you.
438
00:15:37,659 --> 00:15:39,415
I can't even stand
to be around Jay right now,
439
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:41,049
but, you know.
440
00:15:41,179 --> 00:15:43,789
I mean, they don't know.
This could be something real.
441
00:15:43,919 --> 00:15:46,659
Could be?
Why, this is something real.
442
00:15:46,789 --> 00:15:48,610
Oh...
443
00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:51,490
Nothing's gonna drive me
away from you, sugarplum.
444
00:15:51,620 --> 00:15:53,505
Oh, I didn't know we were
doing pet names so soon,
445
00:15:53,529 --> 00:15:55,059
but okay.
446
00:15:55,190 --> 00:15:56,669
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
447
00:15:56,799 --> 00:15:59,230
I mean it. You don't
have to worry now.
448
00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:03,059
- I'm gonna be with you forever.
- Ah!
449
00:16:03,190 --> 00:16:06,549
Forever. That's a long time,
especially compared to
450
00:16:06,679 --> 00:16:08,265
the two days that
we've known each other.
451
00:16:08,289 --> 00:16:10,720
Even when Jay gets old and dies,
452
00:16:10,850 --> 00:16:13,379
I'll simply jerk myself off
onto someone else.
453
00:16:13,509 --> 00:16:15,080
And then the next guy
454
00:16:15,210 --> 00:16:16,690
and the next guy and the next...
455
00:16:20,250 --> 00:16:23,259
...and the next guy
for a thousand generations.
456
00:16:23,389 --> 00:16:25,519
Just so I can stay with you.
457
00:16:25,649 --> 00:16:27,450
But isn't it painful for you
when you do that?
458
00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:29,309
Well, nothing compares
to the pain
459
00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:32,009
of being away
from my cuddle muffin.
460
00:16:32,139 --> 00:16:33,919
Ha, another nickname!
461
00:16:34,049 --> 00:16:37,919
They coming fast
and furious now.
462
00:16:38,929 --> 00:16:40,320
Oh, my God.
463
00:16:40,450 --> 00:16:43,629
So, don't keep me
on tenterhooks.
464
00:16:43,759 --> 00:16:47,110
Do you see now that lap dances
are all innocent fun?
465
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:51,149
Yes. Absolutely.
Meant nothing.
466
00:16:51,289 --> 00:16:53,460
See, that's the thing
about you and me.
467
00:16:53,590 --> 00:16:56,159
When you have
the solid foundation,
468
00:16:56,289 --> 00:16:59,769
where two people understand
each other so well...
469
00:16:59,899 --> 00:17:02,169
You want to talk about
a real solid foundation?
470
00:17:02,299 --> 00:17:04,210
Each leg of a Brachiosaurus
471
00:17:04,339 --> 00:17:07,559
weighs over 10,000 pounds.
472
00:17:07,690 --> 00:17:09,700
Trust and respect.
473
00:17:09,829 --> 00:17:11,910
These are the hallmarks
of a good relationship.
474
00:17:12,049 --> 00:17:13,700
- Yeah.
- Which makes me even more certain
475
00:17:13,829 --> 00:17:16,140
than I was before about
our upcoming nuptials.
476
00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:19,099
Because you and I,
we just click.
477
00:17:25,190 --> 00:17:27,500
I love clicking.
478
00:17:28,539 --> 00:17:30,240
Interesting way to put it.
479
00:17:31,630 --> 00:17:33,549
Sam, I think we need to talk.
480
00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:35,630
I couldn't agree more.
I owe you an apology.
481
00:17:35,759 --> 00:17:36,640
Jay and I should not have gone
482
00:17:36,769 --> 00:17:38,200
behind your back
to talk to Saul.
483
00:17:38,329 --> 00:17:39,900
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
484
00:17:40,029 --> 00:17:41,875
- That clinger's got to go, Sam.
- What?
485
00:17:41,900 --> 00:17:44,559
The tide has turned.
The clinger is clingy.
486
00:17:44,690 --> 00:17:45,885
And no one could have
seen it coming.
487
00:17:45,910 --> 00:17:47,690
I thought you two
were really getting along.
488
00:17:47,819 --> 00:17:50,170
Well, you know how I said
that I was parched?
489
00:17:50,299 --> 00:17:51,390
But then I had some water
490
00:17:51,519 --> 00:17:52,740
and then I had some more.
491
00:17:52,869 --> 00:17:54,390
And now my thirst is quenched,
492
00:17:54,519 --> 00:17:56,180
but the water is still here.
493
00:17:56,309 --> 00:17:57,415
And it's too much water.
What I'm saying is,
494
00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:59,049
I'm drowning, Sam.
495
00:17:59,180 --> 00:18:00,490
Hey, babe.
496
00:18:00,619 --> 00:18:02,839
I just got back
from the library.
497
00:18:02,970 --> 00:18:04,490
- The library?
- Yeah.
498
00:18:04,619 --> 00:18:06,506
I'm trying to do things
an interesting person would do.
499
00:18:06,529 --> 00:18:08,359
I don't know, I'm feeling
a lot of pressure.
500
00:18:08,490 --> 00:18:09,710
Saul, I think we need to talk.
501
00:18:09,839 --> 00:18:11,500
I-I will leave you two alone.
502
00:18:11,630 --> 00:18:12,890
I'm coming with you.No. Jay,
503
00:18:13,019 --> 00:18:14,240
you need to stay.
504
00:18:14,369 --> 00:18:15,476
Alberta needs to talk to Saul.
505
00:18:15,500 --> 00:18:16,500
About what?
506
00:18:16,589 --> 00:18:18,329
Jay!
507
00:18:18,460 --> 00:18:22,680
So, what is it, my little slice
of angel food cake?
508
00:18:22,809 --> 00:18:25,900
Off of that...
Saul, I've dated my share
509
00:18:26,029 --> 00:18:28,950
of dishonest men, so I want
to be straight with you.
510
00:18:29,079 --> 00:18:31,559
- This ain't working out for me.
- I see.
511
00:18:31,690 --> 00:18:34,299
Aw, damn it. Hey, Sam,
I-I left my phone in the car.
512
00:18:34,430 --> 00:18:35,519
Sam!
513
00:18:35,650 --> 00:18:38,349
Honey, I'm glad you walked
through that door
514
00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:41,000
and grateful for the time
we had together.
515
00:18:41,130 --> 00:18:44,529
It's just, um,
how do I put this? Uh...
516
00:18:44,660 --> 00:18:46,440
You think I'm clingy, don't you?
517
00:18:46,569 --> 00:18:47,766
That's exactly right.
Well said.
518
00:18:47,789 --> 00:18:50,450
Damn it, Saul, you done
done it again!
519
00:18:50,579 --> 00:18:53,410
You know, some ghosts
theorize that us clingers
520
00:18:53,539 --> 00:18:54,645
are doomed to this existence
521
00:18:54,670 --> 00:18:56,410
because we get too,
um... attached.
522
00:18:58,019 --> 00:19:00,109
Can I get a magazine?
523
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,069
A-Are they done talking?
524
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:03,460
But I totally get it, Alberta,
525
00:19:03,589 --> 00:19:04,849
and I appreciate your honesty.
526
00:19:04,980 --> 00:19:07,069
I just wish I had known
before I left Gene.
527
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:09,355
I mean, that man took me to see
the northern lights last year,
528
00:19:09,380 --> 00:19:12,910
and Jay's taken me to Sonic
three times this weekend.
529
00:19:13,039 --> 00:19:15,200
Oh, well, this is where having
a Living you can talk to
530
00:19:15,259 --> 00:19:17,430
comes in handy.
531
00:19:17,559 --> 00:19:20,390
You-you came all the way to
Philly to give me an umbrella?
532
00:19:20,519 --> 00:19:21,220
I don't even think this is mine.
533
00:19:21,349 --> 00:19:22,650
Are you a hugger?
534
00:19:22,779 --> 00:19:23,976
I mean, I'm not owed
because of the umbrella,
535
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:25,789
but it would be a nice gesture.
536
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:26,935
Oh, you don't have to do that.
537
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:28,220
I'm already back on Gene now.
538
00:19:28,359 --> 00:19:29,359
Come on, buddy.
539
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:31,359
- I don't... I...
- Come on.
540
00:19:31,490 --> 00:19:33,799
Oh, ho-ho-ho-ho.
541
00:19:33,930 --> 00:19:36,059
Now, that is a clinger.
542
00:19:36,190 --> 00:19:37,630
Ooh, I'm not really sure
543
00:19:37,759 --> 00:19:40,410
how long I'm supposed
to stay here.
544
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:44,859
Alone at last. Wait, we
are alone, aren't we?
545
00:19:45,089 --> 00:19:46,549
Saul's definitely gone, right?
546
00:19:46,779 --> 00:19:47,869
Yes, Jay.
547
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,569
You know, this whole thing
with Saul and Alberta,
548
00:19:50,700 --> 00:19:52,286
it's just made me realize
how lucky we are
549
00:19:52,309 --> 00:19:53,440
to have found each other.
550
00:19:53,569 --> 00:19:55,490
Hmm, we are really lucky.
551
00:19:55,619 --> 00:19:58,140
And it's pretty nice to have
our bedroom back to ourselves.
552
00:19:58,269 --> 00:20:01,059
Okay. Hint received.
553
00:20:01,190 --> 00:20:02,890
Should I put on
the sexy playlist?
554
00:20:03,019 --> 00:20:06,019
Oh, actually, I have something.
555
00:20:07,109 --> 00:20:08,680
Oh.
556
00:20:08,809 --> 00:20:10,589
- Oh.
- Hey.
557
00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:12,109
Wocka, wocka.
558
00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:13,680
- Wow, you like that?
- I do.
559
00:20:15,420 --> 00:20:17,599
Hey, what's that funny thing
sometimes you say
560
00:20:17,730 --> 00:20:19,079
from Crocodile Dundee?
561
00:20:19,210 --> 00:20:20,536
That's not a knife.
562
00:20:20,559 --> 00:20:21,990
This is a knife.
563
00:20:22,119 --> 00:20:23,470
Oh, crikey.
564
00:20:23,599 --> 00:20:24,779
Really?
565
00:20:34,180 --> 00:20:35,960
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
566
00:20:36,089 --> 00:20:39,920
and TOYOTA.
567
00:20:40,059 --> 00:20:44,059
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
40494
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