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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,490 --> 00:00:05,009 Hello, I'm Gene Sing. I have a reservation. 2 00:00:05,139 --> 00:00:07,410 Wonderful. I see we have you here for one night. 3 00:00:07,540 --> 00:00:09,710 - Yes. - So, where are you guys coming from? 4 00:00:09,849 --> 00:00:11,320 Guys? 5 00:00:11,460 --> 00:00:12,980 Uh, you can see me? 6 00:00:13,109 --> 00:00:15,289 I just mean, uh, you 7 00:00:15,419 --> 00:00:17,070 and your luggage, because here 8 00:00:17,199 --> 00:00:19,989 at Woodstone Mansion, we treat your bags like people. 9 00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:21,899 Oh, that's nice, I guess. 10 00:00:22,030 --> 00:00:24,469 Oh, my. Ooh-wee! 11 00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:25,795 Who's this tall drink of water? 12 00:00:25,820 --> 00:00:27,690 Ma'am. 13 00:00:27,820 --> 00:00:29,339 Biscuits and gravy, you're a ghost. 14 00:00:29,469 --> 00:00:31,210 Oh, my God. How's my hat? 15 00:00:31,339 --> 00:00:33,299 - Still small and ugly. - Shut up, Thor. 16 00:00:33,429 --> 00:00:36,350 I'm sorry, uh, this lady can see us? 17 00:00:36,479 --> 00:00:37,676 Yeah, yeah, she fell down the stairs 18 00:00:37,700 --> 00:00:39,326 and hit her head and now she can see ghosts. 19 00:00:39,350 --> 00:00:41,439 She is freak, but has good attitude about it. 20 00:00:41,570 --> 00:00:42,896 How is it we've never seen you before? 21 00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:44,359 Did you just expire on the property? 22 00:00:44,490 --> 00:00:47,320 I am a poltergeist. 23 00:00:47,450 --> 00:00:49,969 Which is a ghost attached to a person instead of a place. 24 00:00:50,100 --> 00:00:51,206 - Well, now. - You're kidding me. 25 00:00:51,229 --> 00:00:53,189 Basically, wherever Gene goes, I go. 26 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,369 - Who's Gene? - Sam, we're gonna need a minute, 27 00:00:55,500 --> 00:00:56,820 if you could just stall for a bit. 28 00:00:56,939 --> 00:00:59,020 The credit card machine looks like it didn't work, 29 00:00:59,159 --> 00:01:00,500 so I will just, um, 30 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:03,289 need you to fill out this form. 31 00:01:03,420 --> 00:01:05,420 So, I'm Alberta Haynes. Jazz singer. 32 00:01:05,549 --> 00:01:07,209 Murder victim. 33 00:01:07,340 --> 00:01:09,210 I enjoy long moonlit strolls, 34 00:01:09,340 --> 00:01:10,939 right up to the boundary of the property. 35 00:01:11,039 --> 00:01:13,560 Pleasure to meet you. The name's Saul Henry. 36 00:01:13,689 --> 00:01:16,349 The Saul Henry who used to play for the Negro Leagues? 37 00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:18,039 I remember reading about you 38 00:01:18,170 --> 00:01:19,585 in the papers. Y'all, he played shortstop 39 00:01:19,609 --> 00:01:21,920 for the Delaware Horseshoe Crabs. 40 00:01:22,049 --> 00:01:23,700 Until one day, 41 00:01:23,829 --> 00:01:26,049 we were up against the Connecticut Quahogs 42 00:01:26,180 --> 00:01:28,530 and I was hit in the head by a yakker. 43 00:01:28,659 --> 00:01:29,840 And it was lights out! 44 00:01:29,969 --> 00:01:31,879 - Oh! - For ol' Saul Henry. 45 00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:33,060 Here you go. 46 00:01:33,189 --> 00:01:34,319 Samantha, keep stalling. 47 00:01:34,450 --> 00:01:37,020 Oh, we also ask 48 00:01:37,150 --> 00:01:38,719 our customers to fill out 49 00:01:38,849 --> 00:01:40,126 one of these comment cards. 50 00:01:40,150 --> 00:01:41,939 Before my stay? 51 00:01:42,069 --> 00:01:44,509 Yeah, 'cause then we have a baseline to compare it to 52 00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:46,840 when you fill the other one out at the end of your stay. 53 00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:50,079 So, what's it like being attached to a person? 54 00:01:50,210 --> 00:01:51,379 Oh, it's not bad. 55 00:01:51,509 --> 00:01:52,859 You see, Gene here's a dentist 56 00:01:52,990 --> 00:01:54,520 who likes to travel the world 57 00:01:54,650 --> 00:01:56,780 and take beautiful photographs. 58 00:01:56,909 --> 00:01:59,430 But of all the exotic locales I've been to, 59 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:01,260 why, you're the most breathtaking sight 60 00:02:01,390 --> 00:02:04,000 I've ever seen. 61 00:02:04,129 --> 00:02:06,310 Wow, are we in Nebraska? 'Cause that was corny. 62 00:02:06,439 --> 00:02:08,139 Just know when you're beat, Peter. 63 00:02:08,270 --> 00:02:09,620 Uh, here's your key. 64 00:02:09,750 --> 00:02:11,530 But before you leave, I would love 65 00:02:11,659 --> 00:02:12,939 to just talk to you a little bit 66 00:02:12,969 --> 00:02:14,075 about the woodwork here in the lobby. 67 00:02:14,099 --> 00:02:15,099 You know what? I'm good. 68 00:02:15,229 --> 00:02:16,009 - Thanks. - And we're off. 69 00:02:16,150 --> 00:02:17,150 Oh! 70 00:02:17,189 --> 00:02:18,449 Well, uh, 71 00:02:18,579 --> 00:02:19,969 enjoy your visit. 72 00:02:20,110 --> 00:02:21,515 You too. Damn it. Why did I say that? 73 00:02:21,539 --> 00:02:23,069 Uh... come up to my room 74 00:02:23,199 --> 00:02:25,280 and smell a glass of wine later. 75 00:02:25,420 --> 00:02:27,680 Is very nice invitation, Thor think about it. 76 00:02:27,810 --> 00:02:29,719 Shut up. I'll be there. 77 00:02:38,079 --> 00:02:40,909 So, with your nuptials fast approaching, 78 00:02:41,039 --> 00:02:42,756 we've got to start nailing down some details. 79 00:02:42,780 --> 00:02:44,650 We've got so much to tell Samantha to do. 80 00:02:44,780 --> 00:02:46,539 Well, I was actually thinking it might be fun 81 00:02:46,610 --> 00:02:48,129 to have a theme for the wedding. 82 00:02:48,259 --> 00:02:50,180 Ooh, a theme could be fun. 83 00:02:50,310 --> 00:02:52,310 Yes, yes, perhaps something like "enchanted garden" 84 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,139 or "springtime in Paris"? 85 00:02:54,270 --> 00:02:57,099 Mm. Actually, I was thinking... 86 00:02:57,229 --> 00:02:58,670 "dinosaurs." 87 00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:00,669 - Dinosaurs? - I-I mean, unless it's overdone. 88 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:02,515 I mean, I will admit that I'm not up to date 89 00:03:02,539 --> 00:03:03,710 on the latest wedding trends. 90 00:03:03,849 --> 00:03:06,889 Isaac, I love that you have such passions, 91 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,110 but this new dinosaur fixation... 92 00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:11,330 it's really just your hobby. 93 00:03:11,460 --> 00:03:13,379 And the wedding, well, 94 00:03:13,509 --> 00:03:15,469 it really should be about both of us. 95 00:03:15,599 --> 00:03:18,120 As a wedding planner, it is my job to remain impartial. 96 00:03:18,250 --> 00:03:19,569 However, this idea is so terrible, 97 00:03:19,689 --> 00:03:21,120 I really must side with Nigel. 98 00:03:21,250 --> 00:03:22,756 Well, we will be walking down the aisle 99 00:03:22,780 --> 00:03:25,870 to the Jurassic Parktheme, and that is nonnegotiable. 100 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,639 How's the planning going? I can't tell you 101 00:03:27,699 --> 00:03:28,885 how excited I am to attend this wedding. 102 00:03:28,909 --> 00:03:30,590 I already know exactly what I'm gonna wear. 103 00:03:31,789 --> 00:03:32,805 You've already made that joke, Peter. 104 00:03:32,829 --> 00:03:34,699 Comedy gets better with repetition. 105 00:03:36,139 --> 00:03:38,229 our stag do's. 106 00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:39,139 I believe you call them 107 00:03:39,270 --> 00:03:40,099 bachelor parties. 108 00:03:40,229 --> 00:03:41,449 Mine is tonight. 109 00:03:41,579 --> 00:03:43,579 I'm here if you need any guidance. 110 00:03:43,710 --> 00:03:44,889 I know we can't get drunk 111 00:03:45,020 --> 00:03:47,280 or drive around Atlantic City in a stretch Escalade, 112 00:03:47,409 --> 00:03:49,240 but we can still party. Come on! 113 00:03:49,370 --> 00:03:51,849 I went to a travel agent convention in Atlantic City. 114 00:03:51,979 --> 00:03:53,436 The battle for room upgrades was intense, 115 00:03:53,460 --> 00:03:54,500 let me tell you. 116 00:03:54,639 --> 00:03:56,379 Don't you worry, Trevor. 117 00:03:56,509 --> 00:03:57,710 We Brits know how to have fun. 118 00:03:57,810 --> 00:03:59,900 Which is why for my party, we shall celebrate 119 00:04:00,030 --> 00:04:01,030 with toasts, 120 00:04:01,159 --> 00:04:03,729 roasts, and if things get really wild, 121 00:04:03,860 --> 00:04:06,120 an off-color limerick. 122 00:04:06,259 --> 00:04:07,780 Oh! That sounds terrible. 123 00:04:07,909 --> 00:04:09,795 Isaac, please tell me you have something better planned. 124 00:04:09,819 --> 00:04:12,960 Mine will be a wild, ribald night of reciting 125 00:04:13,090 --> 00:04:14,960 William Shakespeare's... wait for it... 126 00:04:15,090 --> 00:04:16,269 sonnets. 127 00:04:16,399 --> 00:04:17,790 You two are made for each other. 128 00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:19,310 - Oh, thank you. - Thank you. 129 00:04:19,439 --> 00:04:21,399 Well, I am excited to attend both. 130 00:04:21,529 --> 00:04:23,076 I already have the perfect outfit for each. 131 00:04:23,100 --> 00:04:23,839 It's still not funny. 132 00:04:23,970 --> 00:04:25,620 Just wait. 133 00:04:25,750 --> 00:04:27,100 I can't believe I'm here 134 00:04:27,230 --> 00:04:29,189 with theSaul Henry. 135 00:04:31,279 --> 00:04:32,930 And sleeping Gene. 136 00:04:33,060 --> 00:04:35,069 Well, unfortunately, uh, Gene didn't order 137 00:04:35,199 --> 00:04:37,899 - any wine for us to smell. - Child, that's all right. 138 00:04:38,029 --> 00:04:39,266 I'm more of a Sazerac kind of girl myself. 139 00:04:39,290 --> 00:04:41,509 Best one I ever had was at Sunny's Sunshine Club. 140 00:04:41,639 --> 00:04:43,730 What? I used to headline Sunny's. 141 00:04:43,860 --> 00:04:45,550 - What? - Yeah. 142 00:04:45,689 --> 00:04:47,560 Say, did you know Tommy Two Times? 143 00:04:47,689 --> 00:04:49,300 He used to work the door back in '23. 144 00:04:49,430 --> 00:04:51,779 Know him? That fool still owed me five dollars when I died. 145 00:04:51,909 --> 00:04:53,389 Ooh, I get mad just thinking about it. 146 00:04:53,519 --> 00:04:54,740 well, you know something, 147 00:04:54,870 --> 00:04:56,196 you're kind of cute when you're mad. 148 00:04:56,220 --> 00:04:57,959 - Oh, you think so? - Mm-hmm. 149 00:04:59,569 --> 00:05:01,879 Oh! Mm... 150 00:05:02,009 --> 00:05:03,310 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh... 151 00:05:03,439 --> 00:05:04,439 Oh, that's his prostate. 152 00:05:04,569 --> 00:05:05,970 - Oh. - But don't worry, 153 00:05:06,100 --> 00:05:07,899 we'll have a solid 45 minutes when I get back. 154 00:05:08,529 --> 00:05:11,100 Hoo-wee. 155 00:05:11,230 --> 00:05:13,449 That was the best limerick yet. 156 00:05:13,579 --> 00:05:16,110 Oh, Peter, you do amuse me. 157 00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:17,735 This is the worst bachelor party I've ever been to, 158 00:05:17,759 --> 00:05:19,420 and I was at one where a flaming shot 159 00:05:19,550 --> 00:05:21,290 set the groom's beard on fire. 160 00:05:21,420 --> 00:05:25,029 I once saw the city of Charleston go up in flames. 161 00:05:28,639 --> 00:05:30,079 Guys, a bachelor party 162 00:05:30,209 --> 00:05:31,639 is supposed to be a depraved affair 163 00:05:31,779 --> 00:05:33,860 full of alcohol, drugs and lap dances. 164 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,649 Lap dances? 165 00:05:35,779 --> 00:05:37,300 A lap dance is 166 00:05:37,430 --> 00:05:39,196 when someone pretending to be working their way 167 00:05:39,220 --> 00:05:41,090 through college sits on your lap 168 00:05:41,220 --> 00:05:43,480 and grinds their junk up against your junk. 169 00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:46,879 I think I could give it a try... 170 00:05:47,009 --> 00:05:49,009 Baxter, a little accompaniment? 171 00:05:52,970 --> 00:05:54,579 Ooh, ooh... 172 00:05:55,540 --> 00:05:57,240 Yes. Oh, my. 173 00:05:57,370 --> 00:06:00,110 Oh, my. 174 00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:01,240 Oh! 175 00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:03,889 And how do we feel about Nigel 176 00:06:04,029 --> 00:06:05,939 getting grinded on by his ex? 177 00:06:06,069 --> 00:06:08,160 Thor appreciate the artistry, 178 00:06:08,290 --> 00:06:10,250 but feel Isaac might not 179 00:06:10,379 --> 00:06:12,819 be so amused. 180 00:06:12,949 --> 00:06:15,170 I'm making my way through university. 181 00:06:15,300 --> 00:06:17,040 Oh, yes, you are. 182 00:06:19,209 --> 00:06:20,649 So, has anyone 183 00:06:20,779 --> 00:06:22,105 spoken to Alberta? She was supposed 184 00:06:22,129 --> 00:06:23,959 to hang out with Saul last night.Right. 185 00:06:24,089 --> 00:06:25,730 The clinger that's attached to the dentist 186 00:06:25,790 --> 00:06:27,879 in the Maple Suite? So creepy. 187 00:06:28,009 --> 00:06:30,529 All I'll say is, Alberta missed our morning walk. 188 00:06:30,660 --> 00:06:32,009 Oh! I wonder if they hooked up. 189 00:06:32,139 --> 00:06:34,100 Good morning. 190 00:06:34,230 --> 00:06:37,100 Oh, if you fools are waiting around for juicy details, 191 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,319 you can forget it, 192 00:06:38,449 --> 00:06:39,730 'cause I am telling you nothing. 193 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,709 No. No, no, no. We would never. 194 00:06:41,850 --> 00:06:43,720 Good. 'Cause what happened between me and Saul 195 00:06:43,850 --> 00:06:45,086 up in that room is none of your business. 196 00:06:45,110 --> 00:06:46,279 And I'm talking about 197 00:06:46,420 --> 00:06:48,629 all three times. 198 00:06:48,769 --> 00:06:51,250 Nice one, Alberta! 199 00:06:51,379 --> 00:06:52,990 They did it, Jay. 200 00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:55,600 Guy comes to the Hudson Valley, maybe to see some birds. 201 00:06:55,730 --> 00:06:58,430 Instead, he finds himself an unknowing participant 202 00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:00,170 in an interdimensional threesome. 203 00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:01,600 But I got to admit, though, 204 00:07:01,730 --> 00:07:04,000 as nice as the physical element was, 205 00:07:04,129 --> 00:07:06,610 I actually kind of like Saul. 206 00:07:06,740 --> 00:07:08,089 I'll be sad to see him go. 207 00:07:08,220 --> 00:07:11,180 Bertie.Alberta. She said she's gonna be sad 208 00:07:11,310 --> 00:07:12,959 to see him go. Hey. 209 00:07:13,089 --> 00:07:14,569 Okay, so, checking out. 210 00:07:14,699 --> 00:07:15,709 Okay. 211 00:07:15,839 --> 00:07:17,879 - And how was your night? - Good. 212 00:07:18,009 --> 00:07:20,449 Although there was a rather loud 213 00:07:20,579 --> 00:07:22,410 humming sound in the room. 214 00:07:22,540 --> 00:07:24,980 My bad. But also your bad. 215 00:07:26,629 --> 00:07:28,589 Oh, I wish you weren't leaving. 216 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:31,810 Uh... Oh. Oh, wow, Gene. 217 00:07:31,939 --> 00:07:33,810 It says here that you are actually 218 00:07:33,939 --> 00:07:35,420 our 1,000th customer. 219 00:07:35,550 --> 00:07:37,209 Not even close. 220 00:07:37,340 --> 00:07:39,250 And as such, you're entitled to extend your stay 221 00:07:39,379 --> 00:07:41,016 - by an extra night, free of charge. - Oh. 222 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:42,949 Wow, tempting, but, um, no, thank you. 223 00:07:43,079 --> 00:07:44,519 I think I have to get back to Philly. 224 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:46,170 I'll help you with your bags.Great. 225 00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:48,909 Uh, thanks a lot, folks. Take care.Uh-huh. 226 00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:50,699 Ooh! Oh, ooh, ooh... 227 00:07:51,959 --> 00:07:53,870 Ugh, it's painful when you're dating someone 228 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,610 who's attached to something. 229 00:07:55,750 --> 00:07:57,620 As I know, because of the car ghost. 230 00:07:57,750 --> 00:08:00,709 You know, Jessica. Who was my girlfriend. 231 00:08:00,839 --> 00:08:02,230 The point is I had a girlfriend. 232 00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:04,970 That was a long walk, Sasappis. 233 00:08:08,019 --> 00:08:10,019 Well, I guess this is goodbye. 234 00:08:10,149 --> 00:08:11,720 I wish we had more time together. 235 00:08:11,850 --> 00:08:13,720 Actually, there is another way. 236 00:08:13,850 --> 00:08:15,370 Now, it's extremely painful, 237 00:08:15,500 --> 00:08:17,899 but if I can focus hard enough, 238 00:08:18,029 --> 00:08:20,639 I can actually sort of jerk my body off 239 00:08:20,769 --> 00:08:22,290 of one host and onto another. 240 00:08:22,420 --> 00:08:23,420 You'd do that for me? 241 00:08:23,509 --> 00:08:24,949 Anything for you. 242 00:08:26,379 --> 00:08:27,665 Hey, thanks again for everything. 243 00:08:27,689 --> 00:08:29,819 Thank you. 244 00:08:29,949 --> 00:08:32,559 Mean Gene! 245 00:08:36,830 --> 00:08:38,830 Oh! 246 00:08:42,490 --> 00:08:44,450 Come on, now! 247 00:08:46,970 --> 00:08:48,490 That Gene is a nice guy. 248 00:08:48,620 --> 00:08:49,995 - Uh, Jay? - Good news, y'all. 249 00:08:50,019 --> 00:08:52,279 Saul jerked himself off onto Jay. 250 00:08:52,409 --> 00:08:53,539 I'm staying. 251 00:08:53,669 --> 00:08:54,775 I mean, the poor schnook doesn't even know 252 00:08:54,799 --> 00:08:56,240 there's a ghost attached to him. 253 00:08:56,370 --> 00:08:58,330 Saul is now attached to you. 254 00:08:58,460 --> 00:09:00,200 Oh, come on. 255 00:09:00,330 --> 00:09:01,826 Do we shower in the morning or the night? 256 00:09:01,850 --> 00:09:04,730 You know what? Saul loves a surprise. 257 00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:08,865 I don't know what Thor's talking about. 258 00:09:08,889 --> 00:09:10,330 I rather like your hat. 259 00:09:10,759 --> 00:09:12,590 You little charmer. 260 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:14,600 Yeah, but I like the woman underneath even more. 261 00:09:14,629 --> 00:09:15,629 - Oh. - Mm. 262 00:09:17,929 --> 00:09:19,019 I'm sorry. 263 00:09:19,149 --> 00:09:20,279 Sam. 264 00:09:20,409 --> 00:09:22,029 Do you really need to be here? 265 00:09:22,159 --> 00:09:23,240 It's my room. 266 00:09:23,370 --> 00:09:24,549 What's happening? 267 00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:25,990 What did Saul say? 268 00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:27,549 Oh, I was talking to Alberta. 269 00:09:27,679 --> 00:09:28,809 Alberta's in here, too? 270 00:09:28,950 --> 00:09:30,379 She's not attached to anyone. 271 00:09:30,509 --> 00:09:31,600 I hate this. 272 00:09:31,730 --> 00:09:33,299 She's hanging out with Saul. 273 00:09:33,429 --> 00:09:34,470 It's just... 274 00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:35,919 it's a little hard for me and Saul 275 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:37,480 to express ourselves physically 276 00:09:37,610 --> 00:09:38,909 with you right there. 277 00:09:39,039 --> 00:09:41,090 Yeah, I mean Jay's one thing. He needs to be here. 278 00:09:41,220 --> 00:09:42,830 But you, well... 279 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:44,309 You know, that's just weird. 280 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:46,220 Uh, okay, I mean, I guess 281 00:09:46,350 --> 00:09:48,309 I could go downstairs 282 00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:50,879 and just maybe catch up on some emails. 283 00:09:51,009 --> 00:09:53,669 Wait, what? Please tell me you're taking Alberta with you. 284 00:09:53,799 --> 00:09:55,889 I'm taking Alberta with me. 285 00:09:56,019 --> 00:09:57,019 Really? 286 00:09:57,059 --> 00:09:58,500 Jay, what do you want me to say here? 287 00:09:58,580 --> 00:10:00,190 Nope. Mm-mm. 288 00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:01,840 I'm not gonna lie here while two ghosts 289 00:10:01,889 --> 00:10:02,889 canoodle on top of me, 290 00:10:02,980 --> 00:10:04,460 so I'm gonna go make some tea. 291 00:10:04,590 --> 00:10:06,629 You talk to Alberta and you figure this out. 292 00:10:06,769 --> 00:10:07,850 Let's go, Saul. 293 00:10:07,980 --> 00:10:09,509 He didn't have to say that, 294 00:10:09,639 --> 00:10:10,460 but I appreciate the warning. 295 00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:12,639 I'll see you later. 296 00:10:12,769 --> 00:10:15,080 Okay, when they get back, you tell Jay I left. 297 00:10:15,210 --> 00:10:18,120 Then, when he falls asleep, you make yourself scarce. 298 00:10:18,259 --> 00:10:20,186 And don't worry... I'll keep the humming to a minimum. 299 00:10:20,210 --> 00:10:22,960 Look, I'm excited for you, but this isn't sustainable. 300 00:10:23,090 --> 00:10:25,960 Sam, it's been a long time since I've met a ghost 301 00:10:26,090 --> 00:10:27,480 that I'm interested in. 302 00:10:27,610 --> 00:10:30,090 This is a desert, and I'm parched, 303 00:10:30,220 --> 00:10:33,269 and in walks this tall drink of water. 304 00:10:33,399 --> 00:10:35,009 Do you really want to deny me that? 305 00:10:39,059 --> 00:10:41,059 We got to tell Isaac about this, right? 306 00:10:41,190 --> 00:10:42,605 I mean, getting a lap dance is one thing, 307 00:10:42,629 --> 00:10:43,826 but getting a lap dance from your ex? 308 00:10:43,850 --> 00:10:45,500 I mean, that's just naughty. 309 00:10:45,629 --> 00:10:47,149 Hey, what happens at a bachelor party 310 00:10:47,279 --> 00:10:48,320 stays at a bachelor party. 311 00:10:48,419 --> 00:10:49,629 It's a rule, Pete. 312 00:10:49,759 --> 00:10:51,419 Well, I do love following rules. 313 00:10:51,549 --> 00:10:52,549 So? 314 00:10:52,679 --> 00:10:54,509 How was the bachelor party, hmm? 315 00:10:54,639 --> 00:10:56,379 I trust the limericks 316 00:10:56,509 --> 00:10:59,730 were sufficiently ribald? 317 00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:01,186 Nigel got a lap dance from Jenkins! 318 00:11:01,210 --> 00:11:02,649 - Pete! - Oh, sorry. 319 00:11:03,909 --> 00:11:05,740 Uh, uh, what is a lap dance? 320 00:11:05,870 --> 00:11:06,975 - Well, it's... - Lap dance is when 321 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,740 someone working their way through school 322 00:11:08,870 --> 00:11:12,399 grinds their loins against someone else's loins. 323 00:11:12,529 --> 00:11:13,879 That's pretty good, actually. 324 00:11:14,009 --> 00:11:15,309 Uh-oh. 325 00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:17,009 I hope you boys aren't 326 00:11:17,139 --> 00:11:20,490 recounting any of the racier limericks from last night. 327 00:11:20,620 --> 00:11:24,759 Because that would be a real stag don't. 328 00:11:24,889 --> 00:11:25,956 What exactly happened last night 329 00:11:25,980 --> 00:11:27,629 between you and Jenkins? 330 00:11:27,759 --> 00:11:29,330 It was all innocent. 331 00:11:29,460 --> 00:11:31,679 Just a bit of stag do fun. In fact, 332 00:11:31,809 --> 00:11:34,029 you should get a lap dance at your party tonight. 333 00:11:34,159 --> 00:11:36,809 No, thank you. I don't want Jenkins in my lap. 334 00:11:36,940 --> 00:11:38,139 It doesn't have to be Jenkins. 335 00:11:38,250 --> 00:11:41,429 What if we ask Sam to get you a real stripper? 336 00:11:41,559 --> 00:11:42,730 Do they make house calls? 337 00:11:42,860 --> 00:11:44,600 Pete, you're adorable. 338 00:11:44,730 --> 00:11:46,389 That's a splendid idea. 339 00:11:46,519 --> 00:11:48,259 Then you can see it was all in good fun. 340 00:11:48,389 --> 00:11:49,389 Oh, hey, Sam, 341 00:11:49,519 --> 00:11:50,779 we need you to hire a stripper 342 00:11:50,909 --> 00:11:52,570 for Isaac's bachelor party tonight. 343 00:11:52,700 --> 00:11:54,789 - Okay. - Really? That worked? 344 00:11:54,919 --> 00:11:56,066 There's a lot weirder stuff happening. 345 00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:57,789 You caught me on a good week. 346 00:11:59,830 --> 00:12:01,309 Jay. 347 00:12:01,450 --> 00:12:03,879 - Why are you whispering? - Shh, shh, shh. Saul's asleep. 348 00:12:04,009 --> 00:12:05,296 Is it 'cause they were doing it all night? 349 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:06,620 Probably. 350 00:12:06,750 --> 00:12:08,370 I can't live like this, Sam. 351 00:12:08,500 --> 00:12:10,539 The thing is, Alberta's been in a desert. 352 00:12:10,669 --> 00:12:12,279 What? What does that mean? 353 00:12:12,409 --> 00:12:14,409 I just think we need to consider her feelings here. 354 00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:15,759 What about my feelings? 355 00:12:15,889 --> 00:12:17,769 I'm a person, too, Sam. 356 00:12:17,899 --> 00:12:19,769 What if we just gave her, like, another month? 357 00:12:19,899 --> 00:12:21,470 Are you out of your mind? 358 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:23,549 This is nuts, Sam. 359 00:12:23,679 --> 00:12:24,990 Don't raise your voice at me. 360 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,120 I can't raise my voice, that's the point. 361 00:12:27,250 --> 00:12:28,820 I should be the priority. 362 00:12:28,950 --> 00:12:30,755 I understand Alberta's situation, but I got a guy 363 00:12:30,779 --> 00:12:32,169 following me into the shower. 364 00:12:32,299 --> 00:12:34,649 Shh... Into the bathroom. 365 00:12:34,779 --> 00:12:37,659 It's deeply, deeply weird. 366 00:12:37,789 --> 00:12:39,700 Okay, fine, it is weird. 367 00:12:39,830 --> 00:12:41,620 It's not fair to you. 368 00:12:41,750 --> 00:12:43,049 I think we should just insist 369 00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:44,635 that Saul jerks off onto someone else. 370 00:12:44,659 --> 00:12:45,529 What? 371 00:12:45,659 --> 00:12:46,879 That's what they call it 372 00:12:47,009 --> 00:12:47,620 when they move to another host. 373 00:12:47,750 --> 00:12:50,799 Why not just say that? 374 00:12:52,409 --> 00:12:54,735 So, you want me to dance for this empty chair? 375 00:12:54,759 --> 00:12:56,110 Yeah, but if you could pretend 376 00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:57,980 - that there's somebody in it? - Right. 377 00:12:58,110 --> 00:12:58,809 - See, the thing is... - You don't have to explain. 378 00:12:58,940 --> 00:13:00,059 That's what the money's for. 379 00:13:01,029 --> 00:13:03,679 Hey, don't "tee-hee" at him. 380 00:13:03,809 --> 00:13:04,600 That's Isaac's stripper. 381 00:13:04,730 --> 00:13:06,159 It's fine. 382 00:13:06,289 --> 00:13:09,600 This is all rather silly, to be honest. 383 00:13:26,750 --> 00:13:28,025 This supposed to be some sort of 384 00:13:28,049 --> 00:13:30,190 peak male specimen? 385 00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:32,190 I mean, he's okay, but... 386 00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:33,539 Oh, my gods. 387 00:13:35,629 --> 00:13:37,149 What are all of those? 388 00:13:37,279 --> 00:13:38,850 I had those the summer I caught mono. 389 00:13:38,980 --> 00:13:40,809 Oh, if only I could have died then. 390 00:13:40,940 --> 00:13:42,720 That is a cute stuffie. 391 00:13:42,850 --> 00:13:45,809 Oh, uh, yeah, some kid left their T. rexhere. 392 00:13:45,940 --> 00:13:48,159 Actually, that's not a T. rex. That's a Dilophosaurus. 393 00:13:48,289 --> 00:13:50,679 - Uh, a what? - A Dilophosaurus. 394 00:13:50,820 --> 00:13:52,690 It was a fast-moving carnivore that roamed 395 00:13:52,820 --> 00:13:54,015 during the early Jurassic period. 396 00:13:54,039 --> 00:13:56,340 He knows about dinosaurs? 397 00:13:56,470 --> 00:13:58,169 It's like that movie Weird Science. 398 00:13:58,299 --> 00:14:00,610 This guy was made in a lab for Isaac. 399 00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:02,740 Um, Samantha, could you ask him 400 00:14:02,870 --> 00:14:04,659 to roar like a Dilophosaurus? 401 00:14:05,919 --> 00:14:07,529 It's my party, and I'm the bachelor. 402 00:14:07,659 --> 00:14:11,009 Would you maybe roar like a Dilophosaurus? 403 00:14:11,139 --> 00:14:12,139 Actually, uh... 404 00:14:13,879 --> 00:14:16,149 ...we don't really know if Dilophosaurusesroared. 405 00:14:16,279 --> 00:14:18,480 Some scientists say it was more like a series of clicks, 406 00:14:18,580 --> 00:14:21,669 like... 407 00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:29,289 I love lap dances! 408 00:14:31,070 --> 00:14:31,899 You've traveled 409 00:14:32,029 --> 00:14:33,289 a lot of places with Gene. 410 00:14:33,419 --> 00:14:34,730 What was your favorite? 411 00:14:34,860 --> 00:14:36,990 I guess I'd have to say Italy. 412 00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:39,299 Yeah, there was this small little town 413 00:14:39,429 --> 00:14:41,429 in the mountains, right outside of Positano, 414 00:14:41,559 --> 00:14:44,259 with this restaurant with a little old nonna 415 00:14:44,389 --> 00:14:46,909 who would hand-roll pasta every morning. 416 00:14:47,049 --> 00:14:49,220 The smells were incredible. 417 00:14:49,350 --> 00:14:50,789 What if I told you Jay could take you 418 00:14:50,879 --> 00:14:52,220 to that little Italian town, 419 00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:54,009 and you could jerk off onto that nonna? 420 00:14:54,139 --> 00:14:56,019 Just 'cause they say it doesn't mean we have to. 421 00:14:56,049 --> 00:14:59,320 Oh, there you are. 422 00:14:59,450 --> 00:15:00,320 What's going on? 423 00:15:00,450 --> 00:15:02,409 - Alberta's here. - Aw... 424 00:15:02,539 --> 00:15:04,086 Your Livings here are trying to tear us apart 425 00:15:04,110 --> 00:15:06,149 by bribing me to move to Italy. 426 00:15:06,279 --> 00:15:08,500 What the hell, Sam? I can't believe you. 427 00:15:08,629 --> 00:15:10,809 I get that my relationship is an inconvenience for you, 428 00:15:10,940 --> 00:15:12,340 but that does not give you the right 429 00:15:12,379 --> 00:15:15,159 to sabotage me and Saul, you selfish, selfish woman. 430 00:15:15,289 --> 00:15:16,316 Alberta, I didn't mean to... 431 00:15:16,340 --> 00:15:18,470 Ah-ah-ah! I don't want to hear it. 432 00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:20,250 Come on, Saul. 433 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,179 Can you tell Jay to leave, too? 434 00:15:30,309 --> 00:15:31,669 I'd like Saul to storm out with me. 435 00:15:33,190 --> 00:15:34,556 I'm so sorry about Sam and Jay. 436 00:15:34,580 --> 00:15:36,286 I can't believe they would do that to us. 437 00:15:36,309 --> 00:15:37,529 Yeah, I hear you. 438 00:15:37,659 --> 00:15:39,415 I can't even stand to be around Jay right now, 439 00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:41,049 but, you know. 440 00:15:41,179 --> 00:15:43,789 I mean, they don't know. This could be something real. 441 00:15:43,919 --> 00:15:46,659 Could be? Why, this is something real. 442 00:15:46,789 --> 00:15:48,610 Oh... 443 00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:51,490 Nothing's gonna drive me away from you, sugarplum. 444 00:15:51,620 --> 00:15:53,505 Oh, I didn't know we were doing pet names so soon, 445 00:15:53,529 --> 00:15:55,059 but okay. 446 00:15:55,190 --> 00:15:56,669 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 447 00:15:56,799 --> 00:15:59,230 I mean it. You don't have to worry now. 448 00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:03,059 - I'm gonna be with you forever. - Ah! 449 00:16:03,190 --> 00:16:06,549 Forever. That's a long time, especially compared to 450 00:16:06,679 --> 00:16:08,265 the two days that we've known each other. 451 00:16:08,289 --> 00:16:10,720 Even when Jay gets old and dies, 452 00:16:10,850 --> 00:16:13,379 I'll simply jerk myself off onto someone else. 453 00:16:13,509 --> 00:16:15,080 And then the next guy 454 00:16:15,210 --> 00:16:16,690 and the next guy and the next... 455 00:16:20,250 --> 00:16:23,259 ...and the next guy for a thousand generations. 456 00:16:23,389 --> 00:16:25,519 Just so I can stay with you. 457 00:16:25,649 --> 00:16:27,450 But isn't it painful for you when you do that? 458 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:29,309 Well, nothing compares to the pain 459 00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:32,009 of being away from my cuddle muffin. 460 00:16:32,139 --> 00:16:33,919 Ha, another nickname! 461 00:16:34,049 --> 00:16:37,919 They coming fast and furious now. 462 00:16:38,929 --> 00:16:40,320 Oh, my God. 463 00:16:40,450 --> 00:16:43,629 So, don't keep me on tenterhooks. 464 00:16:43,759 --> 00:16:47,110 Do you see now that lap dances are all innocent fun? 465 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:51,149 Yes. Absolutely. Meant nothing. 466 00:16:51,289 --> 00:16:53,460 See, that's the thing about you and me. 467 00:16:53,590 --> 00:16:56,159 When you have the solid foundation, 468 00:16:56,289 --> 00:16:59,769 where two people understand each other so well... 469 00:16:59,899 --> 00:17:02,169 You want to talk about a real solid foundation? 470 00:17:02,299 --> 00:17:04,210 Each leg of a Brachiosaurus 471 00:17:04,339 --> 00:17:07,559 weighs over 10,000 pounds. 472 00:17:07,690 --> 00:17:09,700 Trust and respect. 473 00:17:09,829 --> 00:17:11,910 These are the hallmarks of a good relationship. 474 00:17:12,049 --> 00:17:13,700 - Yeah. - Which makes me even more certain 475 00:17:13,829 --> 00:17:16,140 than I was before about our upcoming nuptials. 476 00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:19,099 Because you and I, we just click. 477 00:17:25,190 --> 00:17:27,500 I love clicking. 478 00:17:28,539 --> 00:17:30,240 Interesting way to put it. 479 00:17:31,630 --> 00:17:33,549 Sam, I think we need to talk. 480 00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:35,630 I couldn't agree more. I owe you an apology. 481 00:17:35,759 --> 00:17:36,640 Jay and I should not have gone 482 00:17:36,769 --> 00:17:38,200 behind your back to talk to Saul. 483 00:17:38,329 --> 00:17:39,900 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 484 00:17:40,029 --> 00:17:41,875 - That clinger's got to go, Sam. - What? 485 00:17:41,900 --> 00:17:44,559 The tide has turned. The clinger is clingy. 486 00:17:44,690 --> 00:17:45,885 And no one could have seen it coming. 487 00:17:45,910 --> 00:17:47,690 I thought you two were really getting along. 488 00:17:47,819 --> 00:17:50,170 Well, you know how I said that I was parched? 489 00:17:50,299 --> 00:17:51,390 But then I had some water 490 00:17:51,519 --> 00:17:52,740 and then I had some more. 491 00:17:52,869 --> 00:17:54,390 And now my thirst is quenched, 492 00:17:54,519 --> 00:17:56,180 but the water is still here. 493 00:17:56,309 --> 00:17:57,415 And it's too much water. What I'm saying is, 494 00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:59,049 I'm drowning, Sam. 495 00:17:59,180 --> 00:18:00,490 Hey, babe. 496 00:18:00,619 --> 00:18:02,839 I just got back from the library. 497 00:18:02,970 --> 00:18:04,490 - The library? - Yeah. 498 00:18:04,619 --> 00:18:06,506 I'm trying to do things an interesting person would do. 499 00:18:06,529 --> 00:18:08,359 I don't know, I'm feeling a lot of pressure. 500 00:18:08,490 --> 00:18:09,710 Saul, I think we need to talk. 501 00:18:09,839 --> 00:18:11,500 I-I will leave you two alone. 502 00:18:11,630 --> 00:18:12,890 I'm coming with you.No. Jay, 503 00:18:13,019 --> 00:18:14,240 you need to stay. 504 00:18:14,369 --> 00:18:15,476 Alberta needs to talk to Saul. 505 00:18:15,500 --> 00:18:16,500 About what? 506 00:18:16,589 --> 00:18:18,329 Jay! 507 00:18:18,460 --> 00:18:22,680 So, what is it, my little slice of angel food cake? 508 00:18:22,809 --> 00:18:25,900 Off of that... Saul, I've dated my share 509 00:18:26,029 --> 00:18:28,950 of dishonest men, so I want to be straight with you. 510 00:18:29,079 --> 00:18:31,559 - This ain't working out for me. - I see. 511 00:18:31,690 --> 00:18:34,299 Aw, damn it. Hey, Sam, I-I left my phone in the car. 512 00:18:34,430 --> 00:18:35,519 Sam! 513 00:18:35,650 --> 00:18:38,349 Honey, I'm glad you walked through that door 514 00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:41,000 and grateful for the time we had together. 515 00:18:41,130 --> 00:18:44,529 It's just, um, how do I put this? Uh... 516 00:18:44,660 --> 00:18:46,440 You think I'm clingy, don't you? 517 00:18:46,569 --> 00:18:47,766 That's exactly right. Well said. 518 00:18:47,789 --> 00:18:50,450 Damn it, Saul, you done done it again! 519 00:18:50,579 --> 00:18:53,410 You know, some ghosts theorize that us clingers 520 00:18:53,539 --> 00:18:54,645 are doomed to this existence 521 00:18:54,670 --> 00:18:56,410 because we get too, um... attached. 522 00:18:58,019 --> 00:19:00,109 Can I get a magazine? 523 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,069 A-Are they done talking? 524 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:03,460 But I totally get it, Alberta, 525 00:19:03,589 --> 00:19:04,849 and I appreciate your honesty. 526 00:19:04,980 --> 00:19:07,069 I just wish I had known before I left Gene. 527 00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:09,355 I mean, that man took me to see the northern lights last year, 528 00:19:09,380 --> 00:19:12,910 and Jay's taken me to Sonic three times this weekend. 529 00:19:13,039 --> 00:19:15,200 Oh, well, this is where having a Living you can talk to 530 00:19:15,259 --> 00:19:17,430 comes in handy. 531 00:19:17,559 --> 00:19:20,390 You-you came all the way to Philly to give me an umbrella? 532 00:19:20,519 --> 00:19:21,220 I don't even think this is mine. 533 00:19:21,349 --> 00:19:22,650 Are you a hugger? 534 00:19:22,779 --> 00:19:23,976 I mean, I'm not owed because of the umbrella, 535 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:25,789 but it would be a nice gesture. 536 00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:26,935 Oh, you don't have to do that. 537 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:28,220 I'm already back on Gene now. 538 00:19:28,359 --> 00:19:29,359 Come on, buddy. 539 00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:31,359 - I don't... I... - Come on. 540 00:19:31,490 --> 00:19:33,799 Oh, ho-ho-ho-ho. 541 00:19:33,930 --> 00:19:36,059 Now, that is a clinger. 542 00:19:36,190 --> 00:19:37,630 Ooh, I'm not really sure 543 00:19:37,759 --> 00:19:40,410 how long I'm supposed to stay here. 544 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:44,859 Alone at last. Wait, we are alone, aren't we? 545 00:19:45,089 --> 00:19:46,549 Saul's definitely gone, right? 546 00:19:46,779 --> 00:19:47,869 Yes, Jay. 547 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,569 You know, this whole thing with Saul and Alberta, 548 00:19:50,700 --> 00:19:52,286 it's just made me realize how lucky we are 549 00:19:52,309 --> 00:19:53,440 to have found each other. 550 00:19:53,569 --> 00:19:55,490 Hmm, we are really lucky. 551 00:19:55,619 --> 00:19:58,140 And it's pretty nice to have our bedroom back to ourselves. 552 00:19:58,269 --> 00:20:01,059 Okay. Hint received. 553 00:20:01,190 --> 00:20:02,890 Should I put on the sexy playlist? 554 00:20:03,019 --> 00:20:06,019 Oh, actually, I have something. 555 00:20:07,109 --> 00:20:08,680 Oh. 556 00:20:08,809 --> 00:20:10,589 - Oh. - Hey. 557 00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:12,109 Wocka, wocka. 558 00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:13,680 - Wow, you like that? - I do. 559 00:20:15,420 --> 00:20:17,599 Hey, what's that funny thing sometimes you say 560 00:20:17,730 --> 00:20:19,079 from Crocodile Dundee? 561 00:20:19,210 --> 00:20:20,536 That's not a knife. 562 00:20:20,559 --> 00:20:21,990 This is a knife. 563 00:20:22,119 --> 00:20:23,470 Oh, crikey. 564 00:20:23,599 --> 00:20:24,779 Really? 565 00:20:34,180 --> 00:20:35,960 Captioning sponsored by CBS 566 00:20:36,089 --> 00:20:39,920 and TOYOTA. 567 00:20:40,059 --> 00:20:44,059 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 40494

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