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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,126 --> 00:00:03,461 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 2 00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:23,398 {\an8}- Unbelievable. - What's unbelievable? 3 00:00:23,398 --> 00:00:25,358 {\an8}My skin? I've been moisturizing. 4 00:00:25,358 --> 00:00:27,736 {\an8}I think Dad's talking about the gigantic stage 5 00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:30,697 {\an8}they built in front of our restaurant for the block party. 6 00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,824 {\an8}- Oh. - But nice skin, Gene. It's really shiny. 7 00:00:32,824 --> 00:00:33,908 {\an8}Even on my heinie. 8 00:00:33,908 --> 00:00:36,202 {\an8}They were supposed to build it in front of Mort's. 9 00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:38,288 {\an8}We were gonna have a perfect view of the stage. 10 00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:41,791 {\an8}I'll bet Mort pulled some strings, embalmed all the right people. 11 00:00:41,791 --> 00:00:43,877 {\an8}I was looking forward to this block party. 12 00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,211 {\an8}I like the Soul Breezers. 13 00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:48,840 {\an8}Isn't that the wine cooler Mom complains she can't find anymore? 14 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:52,302 {\an8}No, the Soul Breezers, the band. They've been around since the '70s. 15 00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:54,721 {\an8}Kind of inspiring that they've been going that long. 16 00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,598 {\an8}Even though they haven't had a hit since. 17 00:00:56,598 --> 00:00:58,349 {\an8}Well, they really only had the one hit. 18 00:00:58,349 --> 00:01:00,852 {\an8}- What was the hit? - It was called Gas In My Car. 19 00:01:00,977 --> 00:01:02,645 {\an8}(SINGING) Gas, gas In, in 20 00:01:02,645 --> 00:01:04,439 {\an8}My, my Car, car 21 00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:05,940 {\an8}I'm gonna get to you 22 00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:07,150 {\an8}Pretty romantic. 23 00:01:07,275 --> 00:01:10,320 {\an8}Also, there was a gas crisis back then, so it worked on a lot of levels. 24 00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,864 {\an8}I only count one level. Oh, wait. Two. Nice. 25 00:01:12,864 --> 00:01:15,200 {\an8}Well, I am in a crisis right now, Father. 26 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,994 {\an8}Our living room window was supposed to look out onto the stage. 27 00:01:17,994 --> 00:01:20,830 {\an8}The best seats in the house, literally. I sold tickets. 28 00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:21,998 {\an8}- You did what? - Yeah. 29 00:01:21,998 --> 00:01:25,126 {\an8}Some kids will pay good money to watch a free concert from there. 30 00:01:25,126 --> 00:01:26,211 {\an8}Three kids. 31 00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:28,421 {\an8}Four if you count Andy and Ollie as separate people. 32 00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:31,591 {\an8}Why are kids coming to our living room to see a band from the '70s? 33 00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:34,469 {\an8}Dad, these are children who have never seen a concert. 34 00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:37,097 {\an8}All I had to tell them was the higher above the stage you are, 35 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,890 the more glorious the experience. 36 00:01:39,057 --> 00:01:41,309 And that our living room was gonna be like a luxury box 37 00:01:41,309 --> 00:01:42,560 with unobstructed views 38 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:45,855 at one of the premier outdoor events to be held in our lifetimes. 39 00:01:45,855 --> 00:01:47,857 - The bidding was fierce. - What'd you charge? 40 00:01:47,857 --> 00:01:49,567 Let's just say they have candy. 41 00:01:49,567 --> 00:01:51,402 I have enamel that needs to be dissolved. 42 00:01:51,402 --> 00:01:52,987 - We made an arrangement. - Mmm. 43 00:01:52,987 --> 00:01:54,948 And I'm helping out in exchange for 10%. 44 00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:57,867 Which means I get to bite off 10% of each piece of candy. 45 00:01:57,867 --> 00:01:59,953 - Gross, but fair. - But now we're screwed. 46 00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:02,288 I just looked at the stage from every window upstairs, 47 00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:05,792 and the only way you can see is by squeezing your face against the window 48 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:08,962 in Gene's room and closing one eye while you stand on tip-toe. 49 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:11,339 It helps to hold your breath or the glass fogs up. 50 00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:15,051 So, close one eye and not breathe? Sounds like a good time. 51 00:02:15,051 --> 00:02:18,096 I'm gonna make the most of today. I've always been one of those people 52 00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:20,849 that claps at concerts, the two concerts I've been to, 53 00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:24,018 one of which I stood outside. But today I might try out a woo. 54 00:02:24,018 --> 00:02:25,353 - Woo. - Eh. 55 00:02:25,353 --> 00:02:26,771 - Woo? - Mmm. 56 00:02:27,021 --> 00:02:28,189 Woo-ooo-ooo. 57 00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:29,566 - Getting there? - Sort of. 58 00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:31,317 You know what? This will be good. 59 00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:33,153 We'll get a little business, maybe. 60 00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:35,029 And the Soul Breezers are great. 61 00:02:35,029 --> 00:02:37,866 And hearing them but not seeing them will be fine. 62 00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:40,577 Just like listening to a record that's playing on speakers 63 00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:42,245 that are facing away from us. 64 00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:45,707 I'm mad at the Soul Breezers. I know it's not their fault, but I am. 65 00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:47,876 - They're too breezy. - Hey, don't mind me. 66 00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:50,420 I'm grabbing some buns for Little King Trashmouth, 67 00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:51,629 and a coffee for me. 68 00:02:51,629 --> 00:02:54,299 The King only drinks decaf. And wine. Full-bodied reds. 69 00:02:54,299 --> 00:02:56,301 How is he? You've been out there all morning. 70 00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:58,887 I'm pretty sure you love us more than that raccoon, 71 00:02:58,887 --> 00:02:59,971 but sometimes I wonder. 72 00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:02,557 I'm okay with Little King Trashmouth being her favorite. 73 00:03:02,557 --> 00:03:04,851 He has those expressive hands, like Jeff Goldblum. 74 00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:06,769 Oh, hush. Of course I love you guys more. 75 00:03:06,769 --> 00:03:08,980 - Pretty sure. No, no, I do, I do. - Phew. 76 00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:10,481 The King's hanging in there. 77 00:03:10,481 --> 00:03:12,859 I don't know if his paw is broken or sprained or what. 78 00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:15,445 Damn it. Why didn't I study to be a raccoon doctor? 79 00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:17,906 - That world is so cutthroat. - Okay, I'm going back out. 80 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:19,157 I'm gonna go with you. 81 00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:22,202 I don't want Trashmouth to think I only show up during the good times. 82 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:24,954 We'd better go upstairs and try to put some lipstick 83 00:03:24,954 --> 00:03:27,999 on this block party poop show. Figure out which pieces of laundry 84 00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:30,210 in your room are too terrible to leave lying around. 85 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,962 - Not the ones you'd expect. - Okay. Everybody remember 86 00:03:32,962 --> 00:03:35,548 that we are also running a restaurant today. Right? 87 00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:38,009 I'm gonna need some help because I don't know how long 88 00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:40,470 your mom's gonna be doing raccoon stuff. 89 00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:44,349 - Tina, where are you going? - To check on Little King Trashmouth. 90 00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:47,352 - Okay, but you're coming back, right? - Yup. Yup. Totally. 91 00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:49,520 - Tina. - Not the last you've seen of old Tina. 92 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:50,647 (CHUCKLES) 93 00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:53,399 - Okay, bye. - (SIGHS) And then he was alone. 94 00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:57,195 - Poor guy. - Yeah. 95 00:03:57,195 --> 00:04:00,365 Licking his hurt paw. I don't think that's gonna fix it, King. 96 00:04:00,365 --> 00:04:02,909 - He's sweet but dumb. - I saw him limp in there. 97 00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:05,328 I can't think of a sadder thing than that guy limping. 98 00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:07,789 I just thought of one. I thought of another one. 99 00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,582 Ooh! They're coming fast and furious. 100 00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:10,750 Hi, Mr. Huggins. 101 00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,627 He's holding it together, but he's hurting. 102 00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:14,587 - Where do you think Gary is? - I don't know. 103 00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:17,840 On one of his raccoon business trips? I know they're not business trips. 104 00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:20,468 That's what I call them when he goes to other dumpsters. 105 00:04:20,468 --> 00:04:24,222 Hopefully he comes back soon. Trashmouth needs his support network. 106 00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:26,683 - Who's Gary again? - Little King Trashmouth's husband. 107 00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:28,643 Oh, crap. I've been calling him Greg. 108 00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:30,770 The names are close. I'm sure he gets that a lot. 109 00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:33,231 We gotta help this little guy. We gotta stay focused. 110 00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:36,609 You too, King. Licking your paw. Less licking, more kicking. 111 00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:38,111 - He gets it. - Does he? 112 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:40,613 He didn't like the buns. Should I get him soup? 113 00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:43,408 That's nice when you're sick. No, I'm not gonna get him soup. 114 00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:45,576 - I'll find something. I'm gonna pee. - Okay. 115 00:04:45,576 --> 00:04:47,787 - Sounds good. - Thanks for not peeing in the alley. 116 00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:51,040 It's always nice when someone down there resists the temptation. 117 00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:55,211 One candy, two candy, three candy. You, sir, are good to go. 118 00:04:55,211 --> 00:04:57,130 You're early. You're the first one here. 119 00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:59,090 But it's fine. We can seat you now. 120 00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:01,259 Dad says you should never miss the opener. 121 00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:02,927 They're the stars of tomorrow, today. 122 00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:05,555 Besides, it's my first concert. I'm so pumped. 123 00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:08,433 - Yeah, well, it's gonna be great. - Right this way, sir. 124 00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:09,892 Oh, yes. Our usher. 125 00:05:09,892 --> 00:05:12,770 Welcome to the Premium Platinum Superfan Suite, 126 00:05:12,770 --> 00:05:14,939 AKA Rump-Shakers' Paradise. 127 00:05:14,939 --> 00:05:17,400 RUDY: Huh. Can you see the band at all from up here? 128 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:18,568 Of course you can. 129 00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:22,238 You just have to smush your face to the side of the window, like so. 130 00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:24,949 - See? Right? - Oh. Mmm-hmm. 131 00:05:24,949 --> 00:05:27,827 - It's like you're practically on stage. - I guess. 132 00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:29,287 Sometimes I nap like this. 133 00:05:30,079 --> 00:05:33,082 I'm back. I got a pickle. Let's see if raccoons like pickles. 134 00:05:33,082 --> 00:05:36,502 A pickle a day is good for raccoons? 135 00:05:36,502 --> 00:05:39,422 Also, I made a call. I felt like we should bring in a professional 136 00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:40,673 to help out our little King. 137 00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:42,175 - Who'd you call? - Animal control. 138 00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:45,219 - They'll know what to do. - Wait. You called animal control? 139 00:05:45,219 --> 00:05:46,929 - Yeah. Why? - What did you say to them? 140 00:05:46,929 --> 00:05:49,432 I told them about the hurt paw, and they asked 141 00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:52,393 if the animal seemed lethargic and I said, yeah, kinda. 142 00:05:52,393 --> 00:05:54,604 I mean, his paw is hurt. Wouldn't you be too? 143 00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:55,688 - Hmm. - What? 144 00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:59,150 Uh, animal control isn't who you call when you wanna help an animal. 145 00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:01,861 They're more in the business of dealing with animals. 146 00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:03,571 That's why they call it control. 147 00:06:03,571 --> 00:06:05,365 Dealing with animals? What do you mean? 148 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,367 Disciplining them? Giving them time-outs? 149 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,785 No, like... 150 00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:10,078 - Wait. What? - No. 151 00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:13,122 I think that's right. I've seen them on When Animals Attack. 152 00:06:13,122 --> 00:06:16,167 They have a lot of nets. And a lot of sticks with the loops. 153 00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:17,919 - A lot of tranquilizer darts. - (GASPS) 154 00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:20,296 - Then the animal goes night-night. - (CONCERT STARTING) 155 00:06:20,421 --> 00:06:22,090 Why would they do that? 156 00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:24,801 Oh, my God. They said they'd send someone right away. 157 00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:27,095 - Call back. Call back. - (SPUTTERS) 158 00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:28,930 Ooh! There's the first band. 159 00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:30,014 Woo. 160 00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:31,224 I'll work on it. 161 00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:35,019 (CONCERT MUSIC PLAYING) 162 00:06:35,019 --> 00:06:38,064 Can't you just tell the animal control officers not to come? 163 00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:42,026 I don't think it was a raccoon. At all. I think it was just a wig. 164 00:06:42,026 --> 00:06:44,237 Someone's old wig, shaking in the wind. 165 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:48,074 What? No, you don't understand how this works. Wait. Don't hang up. 166 00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:51,369 Ugh! Why? Why? 167 00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:53,579 - How'd it go? - It's happening. 168 00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:56,290 They say the truck's coming and she's not gonna call them off. 169 00:06:56,290 --> 00:06:59,168 I can't believe it. I just signed Little King Trashmouth's 170 00:06:59,168 --> 00:07:00,253 frigging death warrant. 171 00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,547 I'm his human godmother. And I love him. 172 00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:04,257 Oh, I'm a bad person. 173 00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:06,175 Mom, there's gotta be something we can do. 174 00:07:06,175 --> 00:07:08,428 Oh, it's too late. They're on their way. 175 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,763 The King is dead. Dead 'cause of me. 176 00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:12,932 No, no, no. Linda, don't be like that. 177 00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:15,268 We can catch Little King Trashmouth ourselves, 178 00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:17,353 - before animal control gets here. - What? 179 00:07:17,353 --> 00:07:19,939 If they can't find him, they can't take him, right? 180 00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:22,400 - Maybe, yeah. - Then what are we waiting for? 181 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:25,027 Maybe some training on handling injured raccoons? 182 00:07:25,027 --> 00:07:29,031 So we don't get clawed or bitten a lot? No? Yeah, it's probably fine. 183 00:07:29,031 --> 00:07:31,659 Bob, I'm gonna get a raccoon box from the basement. 184 00:07:31,659 --> 00:07:33,953 Right. I'll take care of everything in here. 185 00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:36,873 Can I order some fries? Never mind. I'll just smell them. 186 00:07:36,873 --> 00:07:38,458 (SNIFFS) Mmm! 187 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,209 Hi. Welcome. Here's a menu. 188 00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:42,295 I'll have the burger of the day, please. 189 00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:43,504 Okay, great. 190 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:45,840 Sorry. Are you with one of the bands? 191 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:48,009 Yeah. The Soul Breezers. How did you know? 192 00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:50,636 'Cause you look like a music guy. You have a hat. 193 00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:53,681 Thank you for noticing. I'm their road manager. I'm Ian. 194 00:07:53,681 --> 00:07:56,267 Oh, hi. I'm Bob. The Soul Breezers are great. 195 00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:59,604 I love their song. I mean, their multiple songs. That I know. 196 00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:01,481 - Mmm. - Also, it's kind of amazing. 197 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:02,565 After all these years, 198 00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:05,526 they're still out there, doing what they love. It's inspiring. 199 00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:07,069 - Ha. - Why ha? 200 00:08:07,069 --> 00:08:09,447 - Ah-ha-ha. - Why two ha's? 201 00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:12,074 - I wouldn't say they love it. - You wouldn't? Why? 202 00:08:12,074 --> 00:08:13,743 - Because they're miserable. - Oh. 203 00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:15,369 - And broke. As am I. - Oh. 204 00:08:15,369 --> 00:08:18,873 I wrote all about it in my memoir, Soul Tales from Beyond the Breeze. 205 00:08:18,873 --> 00:08:22,001 Still looking for a publisher, and maybe a computer, so I can write it. 206 00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:23,920 If you have a spare computer, let me know. 207 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,005 I don't think I do. 208 00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:29,300 Pity. Are these napkins free to take? Lot of spills on the bus. 209 00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:31,260 - Uh, sure. - And toilet paper isn't cheap. 210 00:08:31,260 --> 00:08:32,553 Ooh! This is good stuff. 211 00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:36,140 Okay. Tina, you stand on that side, and I'll stand on this side. 212 00:08:36,140 --> 00:08:38,976 If he tries to go that way, make noise and send him back to me. 213 00:08:38,976 --> 00:08:40,728 - Okay. - I'll get him with the blanket. 214 00:08:40,728 --> 00:08:42,772 I couldn't find a box. A blanket's fine, right? 215 00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:44,148 I'm a little concerned. 216 00:08:44,148 --> 00:08:46,901 Teddy, on the count of three, pull back the dumpster. 217 00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:50,780 Yup. I'm not totally sure I can move a heavy steel dumpster with my hands, 218 00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:52,698 but maybe I'll get super-strength, right? 219 00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:55,034 Yeah. You need to get it out, like, 10 inches. 220 00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:57,411 - You're doing the Lord's work. - Thanks, Mr. Huggins. 221 00:08:57,411 --> 00:09:00,540 Just to say it, he's gonna bite you. Is that what you're going for? 222 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,500 - (TINA GROANING) - It's gonna be fine. 223 00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:03,960 I can see his foot better. 224 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:06,837 It has a splinter in it. He's almost got it out. 225 00:09:06,837 --> 00:09:09,674 I guess that licking was smart. Sorry, King. 226 00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:10,883 Oh, he got it out. 227 00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:12,677 All right, here we go. One, two... 228 00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:14,095 - (TINA GROANING) - Tina, no. 229 00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:15,263 - Sorry. - Three. 230 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,598 It's not that hard. Good wheels on this thing. 231 00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:21,477 Here, King. I'm not gonna hurt you. You're already hurt. 232 00:09:21,477 --> 00:09:22,645 You know what I mean. 233 00:09:23,521 --> 00:09:25,982 - He's getting away. - No, I missed him. 234 00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:28,985 - Animal control will be here any minute. - The splinter. 235 00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:32,822 - We can tell them it was a splinter. - He got it out, so no evidence. 236 00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:34,824 Now he's just a limpy, cranky raccoon. 237 00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:37,577 - Oh, no. - But he's running away. 238 00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:40,037 So animal control still won't be able to find him. 239 00:09:40,037 --> 00:09:41,872 She's right. They won't know where he went. 240 00:09:41,872 --> 00:09:44,292 They can torture us all they want. We're not gonna talk. 241 00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:46,711 - I guess. - Unless they do fingernails, or eyes. 242 00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:48,296 I can't handle anything in my eyes. 243 00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:50,172 Or sleep deprivation. I need my eight. 244 00:09:50,172 --> 00:09:53,342 I won't talk. Unless they try to bribe me with some macaroons. 245 00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:55,428 (GASPS) I love macaroons. 246 00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:58,306 If they have macaroons... You'll have to forgive me. 247 00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:00,725 I feel like we should get our candy back. 248 00:10:00,725 --> 00:10:03,894 Not sure what's going on in there. They're not doing any face-smushing. 249 00:10:03,894 --> 00:10:07,189 - What's wrong with them? - What's happening? Where are you going? 250 00:10:07,189 --> 00:10:08,941 The show's just getting started. 251 00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:10,735 Sorry, Louise. We were talking. 252 00:10:10,735 --> 00:10:13,112 Maybe it'd be easier to watch from the street? 253 00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:15,156 Where we could have a clear view of the stage. 254 00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:17,408 From the street? Yeah, I've got news. 255 00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:21,370 When you're our size there's no such thing as a "clear view of the stage." 256 00:10:21,370 --> 00:10:23,873 You'll be out there watching the tall person butt show. 257 00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:26,042 And, my friends, you won't want an encore. 258 00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:27,710 I can get on Ollie's shoulders. 259 00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:29,503 And I can get on Andy's shoulders. 260 00:10:29,503 --> 00:10:32,923 - And maybe I'll hop on their shoulders. - So, this is awkward. 261 00:10:32,923 --> 00:10:35,676 - Can we have our candy back? - You cannot have it back. 262 00:10:35,676 --> 00:10:38,179 I mean, yes, you can, if that's what you want, 263 00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:41,098 but, instead, how about an upgrade? 264 00:10:41,098 --> 00:10:43,351 - An upgrade? - What kind of upgrade? 265 00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:48,648 Uh, how do you like the sound of an all-access backstage pass? Sort of. 266 00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:52,652 Look. The real show's happening back there. We're talking human drama. 267 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,528 Crazy stuff. Drugs, maybe. 268 00:10:54,528 --> 00:10:57,114 Wow. That guy at the snack table sure seems to like 269 00:10:57,114 --> 00:11:00,868 - what I think is black licorice. - As addictive as any narcotic. 270 00:11:00,868 --> 00:11:02,662 That lady's blowing her nose really hard. 271 00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:03,746 Let me see. 272 00:11:03,746 --> 00:11:06,040 She really knows her way around a tissue. 273 00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,376 Yup, insiders-only stuff right there. 274 00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:12,088 So? What do you say we bring over the seats and keep the show rolling? 275 00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:13,172 I don't know. 276 00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:14,507 - We'll throw in snacks. - Eh... 277 00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:16,759 And other perks to be named later. 278 00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:18,552 - Free Pelotons. - Not free Pelotons. 279 00:11:18,552 --> 00:11:20,763 How about we get to sleep in your bathtub? 280 00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:22,765 - Oh, my God, yes. - Uh, okay. 281 00:11:22,890 --> 00:11:24,016 BOTH: Yay! 282 00:11:24,016 --> 00:11:27,061 As a guy with allergies, I'm invested in this nose-blowing lady. 283 00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:29,772 Ha! Very good. Gene, get the chairs. And you know what? 284 00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:31,774 Throw in a few of our cushiest seat cushions. 285 00:11:31,774 --> 00:11:33,901 - You mean Mom and Dad's pillows? - Exactly. 286 00:11:33,901 --> 00:11:35,111 (CONCERT MUSIC CONTINUES) 287 00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:37,113 Uh, Linda, are you coming out here? 288 00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:40,074 - Do you want me to go in there and cook? - No, I'm cooking. 289 00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:42,868 You're just pushing onions around on the cutting board. 290 00:11:42,868 --> 00:11:45,454 That's part of the process. Oh, God. They're here. 291 00:11:45,454 --> 00:11:46,789 - Oh, no. - I'll talk to them. 292 00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:48,833 Okay. Thanks for doing that to the onion. 293 00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:51,585 Afternoon. Are you the one who called about a raccoon? 294 00:11:51,585 --> 00:11:54,380 No. Goodbye. Good luck with your controlling animals. 295 00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:55,673 - Mom. - Linda, calm. 296 00:11:55,673 --> 00:11:57,758 Sorry. I mean, that was us. 297 00:11:57,758 --> 00:12:00,469 Yeah. But it was... Ha-ha! It's a funny story. 298 00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:02,805 - How so? - I saw a dog. 299 00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:05,391 And I thought it was a raccoon. Ha! 300 00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:06,976 - Silly Linda. - A dog? 301 00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:09,019 Yup, just a dog. Total dog. 302 00:12:09,019 --> 00:12:11,939 He had a bone and a collar. A waggly tail. 303 00:12:11,939 --> 00:12:13,441 - He was barking. - He was. 304 00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:14,984 - And licking himself. - Very true. 305 00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:18,279 So there is no raccoon out in the daytime, appearing injured? 306 00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:19,530 - Nope. - No, Officer. 307 00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:21,407 Okay. Then what is that? 308 00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:22,825 - LINDA: Oh, no. - Ah! 309 00:12:22,825 --> 00:12:26,912 - Hmm. He's limping. Could be distemper. - No, he has great temper. 310 00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:29,331 It was a splinter in his foot, but it fell out. 311 00:12:29,331 --> 00:12:32,084 I'm not saying that to protect him. You gotta believe me. 312 00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:34,170 I'm a normal, believable person, right? 313 00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:36,672 - I need to check it out. - No. No pole. No pole. 314 00:12:36,672 --> 00:12:38,424 It keeps me safe from the animal. 315 00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:41,677 Also, it's my lucky pole. I get them every time with this thing. 316 00:12:41,677 --> 00:12:44,180 No, no, no. Oh, he's gone. 317 00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:46,265 Well, thanks for coming by. Can't catch them all. 318 00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:48,893 I catch them all. Everyone at work hates me 'cause of it. 319 00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:50,770 That, and I correct everyone's grammar. 320 00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,855 Wait, wait. Don't go, don't go. 321 00:12:56,108 --> 00:12:58,569 Oh, my God. We can't let her find Little King Trashmouth. 322 00:12:58,569 --> 00:13:00,946 - Did anyone see where he went? - No. Sorry. 323 00:13:00,946 --> 00:13:03,574 Me neither. I was distracted by how that pole looks like 324 00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:05,409 not a noose, but a little bit. 325 00:13:05,409 --> 00:13:08,704 - What do we do now? - Maybe Mr. Huggins saw where he went. 326 00:13:08,704 --> 00:13:10,998 - Shoot. He's gone. - Probably went to that concert. 327 00:13:10,998 --> 00:13:12,792 I hope he's dancing for all of us. 328 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:15,503 He's got that bad hip. Maybe he's dancing on his left leg. 329 00:13:15,503 --> 00:13:18,506 Maybe we could find Little King Trashmouth before she does? 330 00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:21,008 - I don't know. Lot of alleys. - We could split up. 331 00:13:21,008 --> 00:13:23,177 I could follow her and I'll shout if she finds him. 332 00:13:23,177 --> 00:13:24,845 Right. Uh, good. 333 00:13:24,845 --> 00:13:28,057 Uh, don't let her catch him. But if she does, just shout. 334 00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:29,809 Okay, what do I shout? What do I shout? 335 00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:32,353 Just say you won the lottery. And you're excited. 336 00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:33,479 Okay. 337 00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:36,315 All right, I could take that alley, and you take the other one? 338 00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:37,608 Yeah. Yeah, okay. 339 00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:39,902 Can we switch alleys? I like this one better. 340 00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:41,111 Yeah, sure. Yeah. 341 00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:45,574 And there's the endless travel to shabby little towns. No offense. 342 00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:47,576 None taken. I mean, some taken. 343 00:13:47,576 --> 00:13:49,537 And we sleep in tiny coffin-like beds 344 00:13:49,537 --> 00:13:52,164 on a bus that seems to somehow store farts forever. 345 00:13:52,289 --> 00:13:54,875 But there must be some reason they keep going. 346 00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:57,461 Sure. The fact there's nothing else they could do for money. 347 00:13:57,586 --> 00:14:00,840 Right. But, you know, people enjoy their music. 348 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,883 That must make it all feel worth it. 349 00:14:02,883 --> 00:14:05,553 You mean the one song that they wrote a million years ago? 350 00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:09,306 Yeah, imagine if you did one thing, one good thing, sure. 351 00:14:09,306 --> 00:14:14,353 But one thing, over and over and over for the rest of your life. 352 00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:16,981 - Can you picture that nightmare? - Um... 353 00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:19,233 That's what happens to a dream when you cling to it. 354 00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:21,569 You can end up hating it, but doing it anyway, 355 00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:23,821 because what the hell else are you gonna do? 356 00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:25,155 - Right. - Anyhoo, 357 00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:28,242 I wasn't gonna order soft-serve, but now I kind of want soft-serve. 358 00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:29,827 Do you give out free samples? 359 00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:32,288 - I would need 12. - I'll just give you a cup. 360 00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:34,790 Thank you. Best thing that's happened to me all tour. 361 00:14:34,790 --> 00:14:36,542 It's going in my book. 362 00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:38,711 Ah, the Breezers are starting their set. 363 00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:40,504 Do you need to go back outside? 364 00:14:40,504 --> 00:14:42,965 Not really. It's a well-oiled machine at this point. 365 00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:45,885 A well-oiled, sad, soul-crushing machine. 366 00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,011 (SIGHS) 367 00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:48,387 Enjoying the show, folks? 368 00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:51,891 That guy down there has been coiling a cable for, like, half an hour. 369 00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:53,601 I know, right? It's mesmerizing. 370 00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:56,020 How long is that cable? When will it end? 371 00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:57,855 - It ended. - Aw, I miss it. 372 00:14:57,855 --> 00:14:59,231 And how about that music, huh? 373 00:14:59,231 --> 00:15:01,901 Isn't it more fun to imagine what the band is doing? 374 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:06,780 {\an8}T-shirts. Get your T-shirts. This one's 30% cotton, but 100% rocking. 375 00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:09,283 - Is that magic marker? - What makes you say that? 376 00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:11,493 - My eyes. - Look, you could pay 25 bucks 377 00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:14,663 {\an8}for a shirt down there or three bucks' worth of candy up here. 378 00:15:14,663 --> 00:15:16,582 {\an8}Also, good luck finding youth sizes. 379 00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:18,334 {\an8}Or fun magic marker fragrances. 380 00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:20,419 I guess I'll take a shirt. Youth medium. 381 00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:23,797 All right. Wear it proudly, my medium-sized friend. Anybody else? 382 00:15:23,797 --> 00:15:27,968 Ooh, this one comes with free what I think might be cheese crumbs. 383 00:15:27,968 --> 00:15:29,053 Fancy. 384 00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:31,013 Where is he? Where is he? 385 00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:35,059 King, it's Linda. Your friend, your best human friend. 386 00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:37,144 Mr. Mouth. Mr. Trashmouth. 387 00:15:37,144 --> 00:15:39,271 Or King. I don't know what you like to be called. 388 00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:41,690 Please don't be in this alley, Mr. Little King. 389 00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:44,401 I hope you went to the beach, or hopped on a train, 390 00:15:44,401 --> 00:15:46,278 and you're learning to play the harmonica. 391 00:15:46,403 --> 00:15:48,530 - (RACOON SCREECHES) - Ah-ha! 392 00:15:48,822 --> 00:15:50,658 Okay. I'm coming towards you. 393 00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:54,578 I'm just walking over there to show you this funny video on my phone. 394 00:15:54,578 --> 00:15:56,872 Oh, no. I won the lottery! I won the lottery! 395 00:15:56,872 --> 00:15:59,291 I can't believe it. Does anyone wanna share it? 396 00:15:59,291 --> 00:16:01,585 - Come on over here. To me. - Oh, boy. 397 00:16:01,585 --> 00:16:04,213 Oh, my God. Good for Tina. No, wait. That's the distraction. 398 00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:05,422 Right. That's bad. 399 00:16:05,881 --> 00:16:08,384 Whoops. Sorry. Oh, God. Sorry. Sorry. 400 00:16:08,842 --> 00:16:10,302 (PANTING) 401 00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:13,097 - (KING CHITTERS) - Oh, no. King. 402 00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:15,432 Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm. 403 00:16:15,432 --> 00:16:17,434 On the good leg. On the good leg. 404 00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:22,314 (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) 405 00:16:22,314 --> 00:16:23,941 (CHITTERING) 406 00:16:23,941 --> 00:16:28,070 I'm sorry, King. I did this. I'm the reason you're gonna die. 407 00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:30,614 I'm the worst. I wish it was me and not you. 408 00:16:30,614 --> 00:16:34,410 Okay, not that far. I don't know how I'm gonna live with myself after this. 409 00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:38,914 Maybe we use some of my lottery money to buy a helicopter and fly in? 410 00:16:38,914 --> 00:16:41,667 I'm so confused right now. Is that lottery stuff real? 411 00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:43,752 - I don't know. - Maybe just let me do my job, 412 00:16:43,752 --> 00:16:45,796 protecting the public from diseased wildlife. 413 00:16:45,796 --> 00:16:49,675 I failed you. And I'm never gonna forgive myself. Never ever. 414 00:16:50,592 --> 00:16:53,220 Gotta get my head in the game. Think, Linda. Think. 415 00:16:56,306 --> 00:16:58,851 - Hi, Barry. Just passing through. - Oh, wine lady? 416 00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:01,311 Yeah, it's Linda. You can call me that, though. 417 00:17:01,311 --> 00:17:04,148 - You want anything? Merlot? - Ooh! Merlot. Later, later. 418 00:17:04,148 --> 00:17:06,400 Can I borrow this? Can I open this door real quick? 419 00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:10,696 I'm not gonna hurt you, as far as you know. 420 00:17:11,655 --> 00:17:13,449 - What the... - (BOTH GASP) 421 00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:15,117 Thanks. Just gotta take this box home. 422 00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:16,910 There's no wine in it, just a raccoon. 423 00:17:16,910 --> 00:17:18,787 - Okay. - Raccoon box coming through. 424 00:17:18,787 --> 00:17:21,206 - (MUSIC PLAYING) - Ooh. Good song. I like it. Funky. 425 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,542 IAN: Imagine if you did one thing 426 00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:27,296 over and over and over for the rest of your life. 427 00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:29,965 Can you picture what a nightmare that would be? 428 00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:32,301 Be... Be... Be... 429 00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:34,511 - IAN: Bob. - Yeah? 430 00:17:34,511 --> 00:17:36,513 - They're playing Gas In My Car. - Oh. 431 00:17:36,513 --> 00:17:37,931 Thought you might wanna watch. 432 00:17:37,931 --> 00:17:40,809 From where I'm sitting you can see the band. Sort of. Sometimes. 433 00:17:40,809 --> 00:17:45,689 Oh, yeah. I can kinda make out one of their arms. Wrinkly biceps. 434 00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:49,068 I know this one. My dad has it on his playlist of songs he wants me to like. 435 00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:51,737 - Do you like it? - Oh, sure. My dad has great taste. 436 00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:52,946 He told me so himself. 437 00:17:52,946 --> 00:17:56,241 Maybe it's the magic marker smell making me dizzy, but I'm into this. 438 00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:58,660 This song makes me wanna shake my potty parts. 439 00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:01,163 - They're all potty parts, honey. - Yeah. 440 00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:02,623 Hey, dancing's extra. 441 00:18:03,373 --> 00:18:04,625 Just kidding. Go nuts. 442 00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:06,043 (ALL WHOOPING) 443 00:18:07,044 --> 00:18:08,587 What a day, huh, Officer? 444 00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:11,048 Darn raccoons. Am I right? Or dogs. 445 00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:12,800 - Who even knows which is which? - Mmm-hmm. 446 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,718 Yeah, well, I'm moving on to another call. 447 00:18:14,718 --> 00:18:17,679 See you later. I mean, we won't see you later probably, 448 00:18:17,679 --> 00:18:19,723 but it's a thing that people say to each other. 449 00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:20,808 - I think. - Yup. Goodbye. 450 00:18:22,559 --> 00:18:24,853 - She's gone, right? Is she gone? - Mom. 451 00:18:24,853 --> 00:18:26,522 Oh, my God. You did it. 452 00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:29,358 Linda, you saved the King. You're gonna get knighted. 453 00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:32,861 You almost got him killed, but you redeemed yourself. How's he doing? 454 00:18:32,986 --> 00:18:35,614 - Okay, I think. Wanna say hi? - Hi. 455 00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:38,534 Stepping away from you. Nothing personal. 456 00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:41,745 (CHUCKLES) He's just a little rambunctious. Wait. Is that... 457 00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:44,832 - ALL: Gary! - Whoa! Uh-oh. He's getting out. 458 00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:48,168 (SOUL BREEZERS SINGING) Gas in my car 459 00:18:48,168 --> 00:18:50,921 I'm gonna get to you... 460 00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:52,464 King's limping less. 461 00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:55,759 His paw can't be bothering him too much if he's able to do that. 462 00:18:55,759 --> 00:18:58,762 - Should we give them their privacy? - Woo! 463 00:18:58,762 --> 00:19:00,389 - Nice "woo," Tina. - Yeah. 464 00:19:01,348 --> 00:19:04,059 Huh. They kinda look like they're having fun. 465 00:19:04,059 --> 00:19:07,354 - Of course they're having fun. - Really? You said they were miserable. 466 00:19:07,354 --> 00:19:09,731 - Well, they are. - Then I don't get it. 467 00:19:09,731 --> 00:19:10,899 There are moments. 468 00:19:10,899 --> 00:19:13,569 When the band locks in, the crowd is with them, 469 00:19:13,569 --> 00:19:15,362 everything they loved about playing music 470 00:19:15,362 --> 00:19:18,657 comes flooding back in a rush of pure heavenly emotion, all that crap. 471 00:19:18,657 --> 00:19:21,618 But all these decades later, they still have them? 472 00:19:21,618 --> 00:19:23,453 - The moments? - You tell me. 473 00:19:24,037 --> 00:19:27,875 In my car Let's roll 474 00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:29,168 I'm gonna get to you 475 00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:34,214 No matter where you are Gas in my car 476 00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:38,427 Yeah. I see it. Okay. I can deal with that. 477 00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:40,304 - What did you say? - Uh, nothing. 478 00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:42,014 (SINGING) In my car... 479 00:19:42,764 --> 00:19:45,017 Are you okay? Are you having some kind of breakdown? 480 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:49,521 - Oh. No. This is me dancing. - Yeah. I can sort of see that now. 481 00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:51,648 Hey, Dad. What's your body doing? 482 00:19:51,648 --> 00:19:52,733 - Dancing. - Mmm. 483 00:19:52,733 --> 00:19:55,194 - We're grabbing some concessions. - For the after-party. 484 00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,154 - The after-party? - We're doing it for free. 485 00:19:57,154 --> 00:19:59,364 The vibe's great up there. You don't mind, right? 486 00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:00,741 - It's a write-off. - BOB: Mmm. 487 00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:02,659 Phew! Sorry. We're back. We're back. 488 00:20:02,659 --> 00:20:04,953 We remembered we have jobs and came back to do them. 489 00:20:04,953 --> 00:20:07,289 Also, I saved Little King Trashmouth. No big deal. 490 00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:10,459 Hi, Bob. I'm starving. Can I get a burger and fries? 491 00:20:10,459 --> 00:20:13,378 And maybe some fries for the lovebirds in the alley. 492 00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:14,880 But give them a few minutes. 493 00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:22,888 (SINGING TO RADIO) 39170

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