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(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
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{\an8}- Unbelievable.
- What's unbelievable?
3
00:00:23,398 --> 00:00:25,358
{\an8}My skin? I've been moisturizing.
4
00:00:25,358 --> 00:00:27,736
{\an8}I think Dad's talking about
the gigantic stage
5
00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:30,697
{\an8}they built in front
of our restaurant for the block party.
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{\an8}- Oh.
- But nice skin, Gene. It's really shiny.
7
00:00:32,824 --> 00:00:33,908
{\an8}Even on my heinie.
8
00:00:33,908 --> 00:00:36,202
{\an8}They were supposed to
build it in front of Mort's.
9
00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:38,288
{\an8}We were gonna have
a perfect view of the stage.
10
00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:41,791
{\an8}I'll bet Mort pulled some strings,
embalmed all the right people.
11
00:00:41,791 --> 00:00:43,877
{\an8}I was looking forward
to this block party.
12
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{\an8}I like the Soul Breezers.
13
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{\an8}Isn't that the wine cooler
Mom complains she can't find anymore?
14
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{\an8}No, the Soul Breezers, the band.
They've been around since the '70s.
15
00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:54,721
{\an8}Kind of inspiring
that they've been going that long.
16
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,598
{\an8}Even though
they haven't had a hit since.
17
00:00:56,598 --> 00:00:58,349
{\an8}Well, they really only had the one hit.
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{\an8}- What was the hit?
- It was called Gas In My Car.
19
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{\an8}(SINGING) Gas, gas
In, in
20
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{\an8}My, my
Car, car
21
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{\an8}I'm gonna get to you
22
00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:07,150
{\an8}Pretty romantic.
23
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{\an8}Also, there was a gas crisis back then,
so it worked on a lot of levels.
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{\an8}I only count one level.
Oh, wait. Two. Nice.
25
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{\an8}Well, I am in a crisis
right now, Father.
26
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{\an8}Our living room window
was supposed to look out onto the stage.
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{\an8}The best seats in the house, literally.
I sold tickets.
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{\an8}- You did what?
- Yeah.
29
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{\an8}Some kids will pay good money
to watch a free concert from there.
30
00:01:25,126 --> 00:01:26,211
{\an8}Three kids.
31
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{\an8}Four if you count Andy and Ollie
as separate people.
32
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{\an8}Why are kids coming to our living room
to see a band from the '70s?
33
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{\an8}Dad, these are children
who have never seen a concert.
34
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{\an8}All I had to tell them was
the higher above the stage you are,
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the more glorious the experience.
36
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And that our living room was gonna be
like a luxury box
37
00:01:41,309 --> 00:01:42,560
with unobstructed views
38
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at one of the premier outdoor events
to be held in our lifetimes.
39
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- The bidding was fierce.
- What'd you charge?
40
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Let's just say they have candy.
41
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I have enamel
that needs to be dissolved.
42
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- We made an arrangement.
- Mmm.
43
00:01:52,987 --> 00:01:54,948
And I'm helping out in exchange for 10%.
44
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:57,867
Which means I get to bite off 10%
of each piece of candy.
45
00:01:57,867 --> 00:01:59,953
- Gross, but fair.
- But now we're screwed.
46
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I just looked at the stage
from every window upstairs,
47
00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:05,792
and the only way you can see is by
squeezing your face against the window
48
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:08,962
in Gene's room and closing one eye
while you stand on tip-toe.
49
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:11,339
It helps to hold your breath
or the glass fogs up.
50
00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:15,051
So, close one eye and not breathe?
Sounds like a good time.
51
00:02:15,051 --> 00:02:18,096
I'm gonna make the most of today.
I've always been one of those people
52
00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:20,849
that claps at concerts,
the two concerts I've been to,
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one of which I stood outside.
But today I might try out a woo.
54
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- Woo.
- Eh.
55
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- Woo?
- Mmm.
56
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Woo-ooo-ooo.
57
00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:29,566
- Getting there?
- Sort of.
58
00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:31,317
You know what? This will be good.
59
00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:33,153
We'll get a little business, maybe.
60
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:35,029
And the Soul Breezers are great.
61
00:02:35,029 --> 00:02:37,866
And hearing them
but not seeing them will be fine.
62
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Just like listening to a record
that's playing on speakers
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that are facing away from us.
64
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I'm mad at the Soul Breezers.
I know it's not their fault, but I am.
65
00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:47,876
- They're too breezy.
- Hey, don't mind me.
66
00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:50,420
I'm grabbing some buns
for Little King Trashmouth,
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and a coffee for me.
68
00:02:51,629 --> 00:02:54,299
The King only drinks decaf.
And wine. Full-bodied reds.
69
00:02:54,299 --> 00:02:56,301
How is he?
You've been out there all morning.
70
00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:58,887
I'm pretty sure you love us
more than that raccoon,
71
00:02:58,887 --> 00:02:59,971
but sometimes I wonder.
72
00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:02,557
I'm okay with Little King Trashmouth
being her favorite.
73
00:03:02,557 --> 00:03:04,851
He has those expressive hands,
like Jeff Goldblum.
74
00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:06,769
Oh, hush. Of course
I love you guys more.
75
00:03:06,769 --> 00:03:08,980
- Pretty sure. No, no, I do, I do.
- Phew.
76
00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:10,481
The King's hanging in there.
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I don't know if his paw is broken
or sprained or what.
78
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:15,445
Damn it. Why didn't I study
to be a raccoon doctor?
79
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- That world is so cutthroat.
- Okay, I'm going back out.
80
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I'm gonna go with you.
81
00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:22,202
I don't want Trashmouth to think I only
show up during the good times.
82
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:24,954
We'd better go upstairs
and try to put some lipstick
83
00:03:24,954 --> 00:03:27,999
on this block party poop show.
Figure out which pieces of laundry
84
00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:30,210
in your room are too terrible
to leave lying around.
85
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,962
- Not the ones you'd expect.
- Okay. Everybody remember
86
00:03:32,962 --> 00:03:35,548
that we are also running
a restaurant today. Right?
87
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I'm gonna need some help
because I don't know how long
88
00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:40,470
your mom's gonna be
doing raccoon stuff.
89
00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:44,349
- Tina, where are you going?
- To check on Little King Trashmouth.
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- Okay, but you're coming back, right?
- Yup. Yup. Totally.
91
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- Tina.
- Not the last you've seen of old Tina.
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(CHUCKLES)
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- Okay, bye.
- (SIGHS) And then he was alone.
94
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- Poor guy.
- Yeah.
95
00:03:57,195 --> 00:04:00,365
Licking his hurt paw.
I don't think that's gonna fix it, King.
96
00:04:00,365 --> 00:04:02,909
- He's sweet but dumb.
- I saw him limp in there.
97
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I can't think of a sadder thing
than that guy limping.
98
00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:07,789
I just thought of one.
I thought of another one.
99
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,582
Ooh! They're coming fast and furious.
100
00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:10,750
Hi, Mr. Huggins.
101
00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,627
He's holding it together,
but he's hurting.
102
00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:14,587
- Where do you think Gary is?
- I don't know.
103
00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:17,840
On one of his raccoon business trips?
I know they're not business trips.
104
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:20,468
That's what I call them
when he goes to other dumpsters.
105
00:04:20,468 --> 00:04:24,222
Hopefully he comes back soon.
Trashmouth needs his support network.
106
00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:26,683
- Who's Gary again?
- Little King Trashmouth's husband.
107
00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:28,643
Oh, crap. I've been calling him Greg.
108
00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:30,770
The names are close.
I'm sure he gets that a lot.
109
00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:33,231
We gotta help this little guy.
We gotta stay focused.
110
00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:36,609
You too, King. Licking your paw.
Less licking, more kicking.
111
00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:38,111
- He gets it.
- Does he?
112
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He didn't like the buns.
Should I get him soup?
113
00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:43,408
That's nice when you're sick.
No, I'm not gonna get him soup.
114
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- I'll find something. I'm gonna pee.
- Okay.
115
00:04:45,576 --> 00:04:47,787
- Sounds good.
- Thanks for not peeing in the alley.
116
00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:51,040
It's always nice when someone down there
resists the temptation.
117
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One candy, two candy, three candy.
You, sir, are good to go.
118
00:04:55,211 --> 00:04:57,130
You're early.
You're the first one here.
119
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:59,090
But it's fine. We can seat you now.
120
00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:01,259
Dad says you should never
miss the opener.
121
00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:02,927
They're the stars of tomorrow, today.
122
00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:05,555
Besides, it's my first concert.
I'm so pumped.
123
00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:08,433
- Yeah, well, it's gonna be great.
- Right this way, sir.
124
00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:09,892
Oh, yes. Our usher.
125
00:05:09,892 --> 00:05:12,770
Welcome to
the Premium Platinum Superfan Suite,
126
00:05:12,770 --> 00:05:14,939
AKA Rump-Shakers' Paradise.
127
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RUDY: Huh. Can you see the band
at all from up here?
128
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:18,568
Of course you can.
129
00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:22,238
You just have to smush your face
to the side of the window, like so.
130
00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:24,949
- See? Right?
- Oh. Mmm-hmm.
131
00:05:24,949 --> 00:05:27,827
- It's like you're practically on stage.
- I guess.
132
00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:29,287
Sometimes I nap like this.
133
00:05:30,079 --> 00:05:33,082
I'm back. I got a pickle.
Let's see if raccoons like pickles.
134
00:05:33,082 --> 00:05:36,502
A pickle a day is good for raccoons?
135
00:05:36,502 --> 00:05:39,422
Also, I made a call. I felt like
we should bring in a professional
136
00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:40,673
to help out our little King.
137
00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:42,175
- Who'd you call?
- Animal control.
138
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- They'll know what to do.
- Wait. You called animal control?
139
00:05:45,219 --> 00:05:46,929
- Yeah. Why?
- What did you say to them?
140
00:05:46,929 --> 00:05:49,432
I told them about the hurt paw,
and they asked
141
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if the animal seemed lethargic
and I said, yeah, kinda.
142
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I mean, his paw is hurt.
Wouldn't you be too?
143
00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:55,688
- Hmm.
- What?
144
00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:59,150
Uh, animal control isn't who you call
when you wanna help an animal.
145
00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:01,861
They're more in the business
of dealing with animals.
146
00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:03,571
That's why they call it control.
147
00:06:03,571 --> 00:06:05,365
Dealing with animals?
What do you mean?
148
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,367
Disciplining them?
Giving them time-outs?
149
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,785
No, like...
150
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:10,078
- Wait. What?
- No.
151
00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:13,122
I think that's right.
I've seen them on When Animals Attack.
152
00:06:13,122 --> 00:06:16,167
They have a lot of nets.
And a lot of sticks with the loops.
153
00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:17,919
- A lot of tranquilizer darts.
- (GASPS)
154
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- Then the animal goes night-night.
- (CONCERT STARTING)
155
00:06:20,421 --> 00:06:22,090
Why would they do that?
156
00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:24,801
Oh, my God. They said
they'd send someone right away.
157
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- Call back. Call back.
- (SPUTTERS)
158
00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:28,930
Ooh! There's the first band.
159
00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:30,014
Woo.
160
00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:31,224
I'll work on it.
161
00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:35,019
(CONCERT MUSIC PLAYING)
162
00:06:35,019 --> 00:06:38,064
Can't you just tell
the animal control officers not to come?
163
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:42,026
I don't think it was a raccoon.
At all. I think it was just a wig.
164
00:06:42,026 --> 00:06:44,237
Someone's old wig,
shaking in the wind.
165
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:48,074
What? No, you don't understand
how this works. Wait. Don't hang up.
166
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:51,369
Ugh! Why? Why?
167
00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:53,579
- How'd it go?
- It's happening.
168
00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:56,290
They say the truck's coming
and she's not gonna call them off.
169
00:06:56,290 --> 00:06:59,168
I can't believe it.
I just signed Little King Trashmouth's
170
00:06:59,168 --> 00:07:00,253
frigging death warrant.
171
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,547
I'm his human godmother.
And I love him.
172
00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:04,257
Oh, I'm a bad person.
173
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:06,175
Mom, there's gotta be
something we can do.
174
00:07:06,175 --> 00:07:08,428
Oh, it's too late.
They're on their way.
175
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,763
The King is dead. Dead 'cause of me.
176
00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:12,932
No, no, no.
Linda, don't be like that.
177
00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:15,268
We can catch
Little King Trashmouth ourselves,
178
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:17,353
- before animal control gets here.
- What?
179
00:07:17,353 --> 00:07:19,939
If they can't find him,
they can't take him, right?
180
00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:22,400
- Maybe, yeah.
- Then what are we waiting for?
181
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:25,027
Maybe some training
on handling injured raccoons?
182
00:07:25,027 --> 00:07:29,031
So we don't get clawed or bitten a lot?
No? Yeah, it's probably fine.
183
00:07:29,031 --> 00:07:31,659
Bob, I'm gonna get a raccoon box
from the basement.
184
00:07:31,659 --> 00:07:33,953
Right. I'll take care
of everything in here.
185
00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:36,873
Can I order some fries?
Never mind. I'll just smell them.
186
00:07:36,873 --> 00:07:38,458
(SNIFFS) Mmm!
187
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,209
Hi. Welcome. Here's a menu.
188
00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:42,295
I'll have the burger of the day, please.
189
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:43,504
Okay, great.
190
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:45,840
Sorry. Are you with one of the bands?
191
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:48,009
Yeah. The Soul Breezers.
How did you know?
192
00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:50,636
'Cause you look like a music guy.
You have a hat.
193
00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:53,681
Thank you for noticing.
I'm their road manager. I'm Ian.
194
00:07:53,681 --> 00:07:56,267
Oh, hi. I'm Bob.
The Soul Breezers are great.
195
00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:59,604
I love their song. I mean,
their multiple songs. That I know.
196
00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:01,481
- Mmm.
- Also, it's kind of amazing.
197
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:02,565
After all these years,
198
00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:05,526
they're still out there,
doing what they love. It's inspiring.
199
00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:07,069
- Ha.
- Why ha?
200
00:08:07,069 --> 00:08:09,447
- Ah-ha-ha.
- Why two ha's?
201
00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:12,074
- I wouldn't say they love it.
- You wouldn't? Why?
202
00:08:12,074 --> 00:08:13,743
- Because they're miserable.
- Oh.
203
00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:15,369
- And broke. As am I.
- Oh.
204
00:08:15,369 --> 00:08:18,873
I wrote all about it in my memoir,
Soul Tales from Beyond the Breeze.
205
00:08:18,873 --> 00:08:22,001
Still looking for a publisher,
and maybe a computer, so I can write it.
206
00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:23,920
If you have a spare computer,
let me know.
207
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,005
I don't think I do.
208
00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:29,300
Pity. Are these napkins free to take?
Lot of spills on the bus.
209
00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:31,260
- Uh, sure.
- And toilet paper isn't cheap.
210
00:08:31,260 --> 00:08:32,553
Ooh! This is good stuff.
211
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:36,140
Okay. Tina, you stand on that side,
and I'll stand on this side.
212
00:08:36,140 --> 00:08:38,976
If he tries to go that way, make noise
and send him back to me.
213
00:08:38,976 --> 00:08:40,728
- Okay.
- I'll get him with the blanket.
214
00:08:40,728 --> 00:08:42,772
I couldn't find a box.
A blanket's fine, right?
215
00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:44,148
I'm a little concerned.
216
00:08:44,148 --> 00:08:46,901
Teddy, on the count of three,
pull back the dumpster.
217
00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:50,780
Yup. I'm not totally sure I can move
a heavy steel dumpster with my hands,
218
00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:52,698
but maybe I'll get
super-strength, right?
219
00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:55,034
Yeah. You need to get it out,
like, 10 inches.
220
00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:57,411
- You're doing the Lord's work.
- Thanks, Mr. Huggins.
221
00:08:57,411 --> 00:09:00,540
Just to say it, he's gonna bite you.
Is that what you're going for?
222
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,500
- (TINA GROANING)
- It's gonna be fine.
223
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:03,960
I can see his foot better.
224
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:06,837
It has a splinter in it.
He's almost got it out.
225
00:09:06,837 --> 00:09:09,674
I guess that licking was smart.
Sorry, King.
226
00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:10,883
Oh, he got it out.
227
00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:12,677
All right, here we go. One, two...
228
00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:14,095
- (TINA GROANING)
- Tina, no.
229
00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:15,263
- Sorry.
- Three.
230
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,598
It's not that hard.
Good wheels on this thing.
231
00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:21,477
Here, King. I'm not gonna hurt you.
You're already hurt.
232
00:09:21,477 --> 00:09:22,645
You know what I mean.
233
00:09:23,521 --> 00:09:25,982
- He's getting away.
- No, I missed him.
234
00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:28,985
- Animal control will be here any minute.
- The splinter.
235
00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:32,822
- We can tell them it was a splinter.
- He got it out, so no evidence.
236
00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:34,824
Now he's just a limpy, cranky raccoon.
237
00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:37,577
- Oh, no.
- But he's running away.
238
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:40,037
So animal control still
won't be able to find him.
239
00:09:40,037 --> 00:09:41,872
She's right.
They won't know where he went.
240
00:09:41,872 --> 00:09:44,292
They can torture us all they want.
We're not gonna talk.
241
00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:46,711
- I guess.
- Unless they do fingernails, or eyes.
242
00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:48,296
I can't handle anything in my eyes.
243
00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:50,172
Or sleep deprivation. I need my eight.
244
00:09:50,172 --> 00:09:53,342
I won't talk. Unless they
try to bribe me with some macaroons.
245
00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:55,428
(GASPS) I love macaroons.
246
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:58,306
If they have macaroons...
You'll have to forgive me.
247
00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:00,725
I feel like we should
get our candy back.
248
00:10:00,725 --> 00:10:03,894
Not sure what's going on in there.
They're not doing any face-smushing.
249
00:10:03,894 --> 00:10:07,189
- What's wrong with them?
- What's happening? Where are you going?
250
00:10:07,189 --> 00:10:08,941
The show's just getting started.
251
00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:10,735
Sorry, Louise. We were talking.
252
00:10:10,735 --> 00:10:13,112
Maybe it'd be easier
to watch from the street?
253
00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:15,156
Where we could have
a clear view of the stage.
254
00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:17,408
From the street? Yeah, I've got news.
255
00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:21,370
When you're our size there's no such
thing as a "clear view of the stage."
256
00:10:21,370 --> 00:10:23,873
You'll be out there
watching the tall person butt show.
257
00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:26,042
And, my friends,
you won't want an encore.
258
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:27,710
I can get on Ollie's shoulders.
259
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:29,503
And I can get on Andy's shoulders.
260
00:10:29,503 --> 00:10:32,923
- And maybe I'll hop on their shoulders.
- So, this is awkward.
261
00:10:32,923 --> 00:10:35,676
- Can we have our candy back?
- You cannot have it back.
262
00:10:35,676 --> 00:10:38,179
I mean, yes, you can,
if that's what you want,
263
00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:41,098
but, instead, how about an upgrade?
264
00:10:41,098 --> 00:10:43,351
- An upgrade?
- What kind of upgrade?
265
00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:48,648
Uh, how do you like the sound of
an all-access backstage pass? Sort of.
266
00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:52,652
Look. The real show's happening
back there. We're talking human drama.
267
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,528
Crazy stuff. Drugs, maybe.
268
00:10:54,528 --> 00:10:57,114
Wow. That guy at the snack table
sure seems to like
269
00:10:57,114 --> 00:11:00,868
- what I think is black licorice.
- As addictive as any narcotic.
270
00:11:00,868 --> 00:11:02,662
That lady's blowing
her nose really hard.
271
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:03,746
Let me see.
272
00:11:03,746 --> 00:11:06,040
She really knows her way
around a tissue.
273
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,376
Yup, insiders-only stuff right there.
274
00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:12,088
So? What do you say we bring over
the seats and keep the show rolling?
275
00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:13,172
I don't know.
276
00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:14,507
- We'll throw in snacks.
- Eh...
277
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:16,759
And other perks to be named later.
278
00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:18,552
- Free Pelotons.
- Not free Pelotons.
279
00:11:18,552 --> 00:11:20,763
How about we get to sleep
in your bathtub?
280
00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:22,765
- Oh, my God, yes.
- Uh, okay.
281
00:11:22,890 --> 00:11:24,016
BOTH: Yay!
282
00:11:24,016 --> 00:11:27,061
As a guy with allergies,
I'm invested in this nose-blowing lady.
283
00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:29,772
Ha! Very good.
Gene, get the chairs. And you know what?
284
00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:31,774
Throw in a few
of our cushiest seat cushions.
285
00:11:31,774 --> 00:11:33,901
- You mean Mom and Dad's pillows?
- Exactly.
286
00:11:33,901 --> 00:11:35,111
(CONCERT MUSIC CONTINUES)
287
00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:37,113
Uh, Linda, are you coming out here?
288
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:40,074
- Do you want me to go in there and cook?
- No, I'm cooking.
289
00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:42,868
You're just pushing onions
around on the cutting board.
290
00:11:42,868 --> 00:11:45,454
That's part of the process.
Oh, God. They're here.
291
00:11:45,454 --> 00:11:46,789
- Oh, no.
- I'll talk to them.
292
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:48,833
Okay. Thanks for doing that
to the onion.
293
00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:51,585
Afternoon. Are you the one
who called about a raccoon?
294
00:11:51,585 --> 00:11:54,380
No. Goodbye.
Good luck with your controlling animals.
295
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:55,673
- Mom.
- Linda, calm.
296
00:11:55,673 --> 00:11:57,758
Sorry. I mean, that was us.
297
00:11:57,758 --> 00:12:00,469
Yeah. But it was... Ha-ha!
It's a funny story.
298
00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:02,805
- How so?
- I saw a dog.
299
00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:05,391
And I thought it was a raccoon. Ha!
300
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:06,976
- Silly Linda.
- A dog?
301
00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:09,019
Yup, just a dog. Total dog.
302
00:12:09,019 --> 00:12:11,939
He had a bone and a collar.
A waggly tail.
303
00:12:11,939 --> 00:12:13,441
- He was barking.
- He was.
304
00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:14,984
- And licking himself.
- Very true.
305
00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:18,279
So there is no raccoon out
in the daytime, appearing injured?
306
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:19,530
- Nope.
- No, Officer.
307
00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:21,407
Okay. Then what is that?
308
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:22,825
- LINDA: Oh, no.
- Ah!
309
00:12:22,825 --> 00:12:26,912
- Hmm. He's limping. Could be distemper.
- No, he has great temper.
310
00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:29,331
It was a splinter in his foot,
but it fell out.
311
00:12:29,331 --> 00:12:32,084
I'm not saying that to protect him.
You gotta believe me.
312
00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:34,170
I'm a normal, believable person, right?
313
00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:36,672
- I need to check it out.
- No. No pole. No pole.
314
00:12:36,672 --> 00:12:38,424
It keeps me safe from the animal.
315
00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:41,677
Also, it's my lucky pole.
I get them every time with this thing.
316
00:12:41,677 --> 00:12:44,180
No, no, no. Oh, he's gone.
317
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:46,265
Well, thanks for coming by.
Can't catch them all.
318
00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:48,893
I catch them all.
Everyone at work hates me 'cause of it.
319
00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:50,770
That, and I correct everyone's grammar.
320
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,855
Wait, wait. Don't go, don't go.
321
00:12:56,108 --> 00:12:58,569
Oh, my God. We can't let her find
Little King Trashmouth.
322
00:12:58,569 --> 00:13:00,946
- Did anyone see where he went?
- No. Sorry.
323
00:13:00,946 --> 00:13:03,574
Me neither. I was distracted
by how that pole looks like
324
00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:05,409
not a noose, but a little bit.
325
00:13:05,409 --> 00:13:08,704
- What do we do now?
- Maybe Mr. Huggins saw where he went.
326
00:13:08,704 --> 00:13:10,998
- Shoot. He's gone.
- Probably went to that concert.
327
00:13:10,998 --> 00:13:12,792
I hope he's dancing for all of us.
328
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:15,503
He's got that bad hip.
Maybe he's dancing on his left leg.
329
00:13:15,503 --> 00:13:18,506
Maybe we could find
Little King Trashmouth before she does?
330
00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:21,008
- I don't know. Lot of alleys.
- We could split up.
331
00:13:21,008 --> 00:13:23,177
I could follow her
and I'll shout if she finds him.
332
00:13:23,177 --> 00:13:24,845
Right. Uh, good.
333
00:13:24,845 --> 00:13:28,057
Uh, don't let her catch him.
But if she does, just shout.
334
00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:29,809
Okay, what do I shout?
What do I shout?
335
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:32,353
Just say you won the lottery.
And you're excited.
336
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:33,479
Okay.
337
00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:36,315
All right, I could take that alley,
and you take the other one?
338
00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:37,608
Yeah. Yeah, okay.
339
00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:39,902
Can we switch alleys?
I like this one better.
340
00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:41,111
Yeah, sure. Yeah.
341
00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:45,574
And there's the endless travel
to shabby little towns. No offense.
342
00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:47,576
None taken. I mean, some taken.
343
00:13:47,576 --> 00:13:49,537
And we sleep in tiny coffin-like beds
344
00:13:49,537 --> 00:13:52,164
on a bus that seems
to somehow store farts forever.
345
00:13:52,289 --> 00:13:54,875
But there must be some reason
they keep going.
346
00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:57,461
Sure. The fact there's nothing else
they could do for money.
347
00:13:57,586 --> 00:14:00,840
Right. But, you know,
people enjoy their music.
348
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,883
That must make it all feel worth it.
349
00:14:02,883 --> 00:14:05,553
You mean the one song
that they wrote a million years ago?
350
00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:09,306
Yeah, imagine if you did one thing,
one good thing, sure.
351
00:14:09,306 --> 00:14:14,353
But one thing, over and over
and over for the rest of your life.
352
00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:16,981
- Can you picture that nightmare?
- Um...
353
00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:19,233
That's what happens to a dream
when you cling to it.
354
00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:21,569
You can end up hating it,
but doing it anyway,
355
00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:23,821
because what the hell else
are you gonna do?
356
00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:25,155
- Right.
- Anyhoo,
357
00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:28,242
I wasn't gonna order soft-serve,
but now I kind of want soft-serve.
358
00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:29,827
Do you give out free samples?
359
00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:32,288
- I would need 12.
- I'll just give you a cup.
360
00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:34,790
Thank you. Best thing
that's happened to me all tour.
361
00:14:34,790 --> 00:14:36,542
It's going in my book.
362
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:38,711
Ah, the Breezers are starting their set.
363
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:40,504
Do you need to go back outside?
364
00:14:40,504 --> 00:14:42,965
Not really. It's a well-oiled machine
at this point.
365
00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:45,885
A well-oiled, sad,
soul-crushing machine.
366
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,011
(SIGHS)
367
00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:48,387
Enjoying the show, folks?
368
00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:51,891
That guy down there has been
coiling a cable for, like, half an hour.
369
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:53,601
I know, right? It's mesmerizing.
370
00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:56,020
How long is that cable?
When will it end?
371
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:57,855
- It ended.
- Aw, I miss it.
372
00:14:57,855 --> 00:14:59,231
And how about that music, huh?
373
00:14:59,231 --> 00:15:01,901
Isn't it more fun to imagine
what the band is doing?
374
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:06,780
{\an8}T-shirts. Get your T-shirts.
This one's 30% cotton, but 100% rocking.
375
00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:09,283
- Is that magic marker?
- What makes you say that?
376
00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:11,493
- My eyes.
- Look, you could pay 25 bucks
377
00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:14,663
{\an8}for a shirt down there
or three bucks' worth of candy up here.
378
00:15:14,663 --> 00:15:16,582
{\an8}Also, good luck finding youth sizes.
379
00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:18,334
{\an8}Or fun magic marker fragrances.
380
00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:20,419
I guess I'll take a shirt. Youth medium.
381
00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:23,797
All right. Wear it proudly,
my medium-sized friend. Anybody else?
382
00:15:23,797 --> 00:15:27,968
Ooh, this one comes with free
what I think might be cheese crumbs.
383
00:15:27,968 --> 00:15:29,053
Fancy.
384
00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:31,013
Where is he? Where is he?
385
00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:35,059
King, it's Linda.
Your friend, your best human friend.
386
00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:37,144
Mr. Mouth. Mr. Trashmouth.
387
00:15:37,144 --> 00:15:39,271
Or King. I don't know
what you like to be called.
388
00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:41,690
Please don't be in this alley,
Mr. Little King.
389
00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:44,401
I hope you went to the beach,
or hopped on a train,
390
00:15:44,401 --> 00:15:46,278
and you're learning
to play the harmonica.
391
00:15:46,403 --> 00:15:48,530
- (RACOON SCREECHES)
- Ah-ha!
392
00:15:48,822 --> 00:15:50,658
Okay. I'm coming towards you.
393
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:54,578
I'm just walking over there to show you
this funny video on my phone.
394
00:15:54,578 --> 00:15:56,872
Oh, no.
I won the lottery! I won the lottery!
395
00:15:56,872 --> 00:15:59,291
I can't believe it.
Does anyone wanna share it?
396
00:15:59,291 --> 00:16:01,585
- Come on over here. To me.
- Oh, boy.
397
00:16:01,585 --> 00:16:04,213
Oh, my God. Good for Tina.
No, wait. That's the distraction.
398
00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:05,422
Right. That's bad.
399
00:16:05,881 --> 00:16:08,384
Whoops. Sorry. Oh, God. Sorry. Sorry.
400
00:16:08,842 --> 00:16:10,302
(PANTING)
401
00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:13,097
- (KING CHITTERS)
- Oh, no. King.
402
00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:15,432
Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.
403
00:16:15,432 --> 00:16:17,434
On the good leg. On the good leg.
404
00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:22,314
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
405
00:16:22,314 --> 00:16:23,941
(CHITTERING)
406
00:16:23,941 --> 00:16:28,070
I'm sorry, King. I did this.
I'm the reason you're gonna die.
407
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:30,614
I'm the worst.
I wish it was me and not you.
408
00:16:30,614 --> 00:16:34,410
Okay, not that far. I don't know how
I'm gonna live with myself after this.
409
00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:38,914
Maybe we use some of my lottery money
to buy a helicopter and fly in?
410
00:16:38,914 --> 00:16:41,667
I'm so confused right now.
Is that lottery stuff real?
411
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:43,752
- I don't know.
- Maybe just let me do my job,
412
00:16:43,752 --> 00:16:45,796
protecting the public
from diseased wildlife.
413
00:16:45,796 --> 00:16:49,675
I failed you. And I'm never gonna
forgive myself. Never ever.
414
00:16:50,592 --> 00:16:53,220
Gotta get my head in the game.
Think, Linda. Think.
415
00:16:56,306 --> 00:16:58,851
- Hi, Barry. Just passing through.
- Oh, wine lady?
416
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:01,311
Yeah, it's Linda.
You can call me that, though.
417
00:17:01,311 --> 00:17:04,148
- You want anything? Merlot?
- Ooh! Merlot. Later, later.
418
00:17:04,148 --> 00:17:06,400
Can I borrow this?
Can I open this door real quick?
419
00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:10,696
I'm not gonna hurt you,
as far as you know.
420
00:17:11,655 --> 00:17:13,449
- What the...
- (BOTH GASP)
421
00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:15,117
Thanks. Just gotta take
this box home.
422
00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:16,910
There's no wine in it,
just a raccoon.
423
00:17:16,910 --> 00:17:18,787
- Okay.
- Raccoon box coming through.
424
00:17:18,787 --> 00:17:21,206
- (MUSIC PLAYING)
- Ooh. Good song. I like it. Funky.
425
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,542
IAN: Imagine if you did one thing
426
00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:27,296
over and over and over
for the rest of your life.
427
00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:29,965
Can you picture
what a nightmare that would be?
428
00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:32,301
Be... Be... Be...
429
00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:34,511
- IAN: Bob.
- Yeah?
430
00:17:34,511 --> 00:17:36,513
- They're playing Gas In My Car.
- Oh.
431
00:17:36,513 --> 00:17:37,931
Thought you might wanna watch.
432
00:17:37,931 --> 00:17:40,809
From where I'm sitting you can see
the band. Sort of. Sometimes.
433
00:17:40,809 --> 00:17:45,689
Oh, yeah. I can kinda make out
one of their arms. Wrinkly biceps.
434
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:49,068
I know this one. My dad has it on his
playlist of songs he wants me to like.
435
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:51,737
- Do you like it?
- Oh, sure. My dad has great taste.
436
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:52,946
He told me so himself.
437
00:17:52,946 --> 00:17:56,241
Maybe it's the magic marker smell
making me dizzy, but I'm into this.
438
00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:58,660
This song makes me wanna
shake my potty parts.
439
00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:01,163
- They're all potty parts, honey.
- Yeah.
440
00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:02,623
Hey, dancing's extra.
441
00:18:03,373 --> 00:18:04,625
Just kidding. Go nuts.
442
00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:06,043
(ALL WHOOPING)
443
00:18:07,044 --> 00:18:08,587
What a day, huh, Officer?
444
00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:11,048
Darn raccoons. Am I right? Or dogs.
445
00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:12,800
- Who even knows which is which?
- Mmm-hmm.
446
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,718
Yeah, well, I'm moving on
to another call.
447
00:18:14,718 --> 00:18:17,679
See you later. I mean,
we won't see you later probably,
448
00:18:17,679 --> 00:18:19,723
but it's a thing
that people say to each other.
449
00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:20,808
- I think.
- Yup. Goodbye.
450
00:18:22,559 --> 00:18:24,853
- She's gone, right? Is she gone?
- Mom.
451
00:18:24,853 --> 00:18:26,522
Oh, my God. You did it.
452
00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:29,358
Linda, you saved the King.
You're gonna get knighted.
453
00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:32,861
You almost got him killed, but you
redeemed yourself. How's he doing?
454
00:18:32,986 --> 00:18:35,614
- Okay, I think. Wanna say hi?
- Hi.
455
00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:38,534
Stepping away from you.
Nothing personal.
456
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:41,745
(CHUCKLES) He's just
a little rambunctious. Wait. Is that...
457
00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:44,832
- ALL: Gary!
- Whoa! Uh-oh. He's getting out.
458
00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:48,168
(SOUL BREEZERS SINGING)
Gas in my car
459
00:18:48,168 --> 00:18:50,921
I'm gonna get to you...
460
00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:52,464
King's limping less.
461
00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:55,759
His paw can't be bothering him too much
if he's able to do that.
462
00:18:55,759 --> 00:18:58,762
- Should we give them their privacy?
- Woo!
463
00:18:58,762 --> 00:19:00,389
- Nice "woo," Tina.
- Yeah.
464
00:19:01,348 --> 00:19:04,059
Huh. They kinda look like
they're having fun.
465
00:19:04,059 --> 00:19:07,354
- Of course they're having fun.
- Really? You said they were miserable.
466
00:19:07,354 --> 00:19:09,731
- Well, they are.
- Then I don't get it.
467
00:19:09,731 --> 00:19:10,899
There are moments.
468
00:19:10,899 --> 00:19:13,569
When the band locks in,
the crowd is with them,
469
00:19:13,569 --> 00:19:15,362
everything they loved
about playing music
470
00:19:15,362 --> 00:19:18,657
comes flooding back in a rush
of pure heavenly emotion, all that crap.
471
00:19:18,657 --> 00:19:21,618
But all these decades later,
they still have them?
472
00:19:21,618 --> 00:19:23,453
- The moments?
- You tell me.
473
00:19:24,037 --> 00:19:27,875
In my car
Let's roll
474
00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:29,168
I'm gonna get to you
475
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:34,214
No matter where you are
Gas in my car
476
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:38,427
Yeah. I see it.
Okay. I can deal with that.
477
00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:40,304
- What did you say?
- Uh, nothing.
478
00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:42,014
(SINGING)
In my car...
479
00:19:42,764 --> 00:19:45,017
Are you okay?
Are you having some kind of breakdown?
480
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:49,521
- Oh. No. This is me dancing.
- Yeah. I can sort of see that now.
481
00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:51,648
Hey, Dad. What's your body doing?
482
00:19:51,648 --> 00:19:52,733
- Dancing.
- Mmm.
483
00:19:52,733 --> 00:19:55,194
- We're grabbing some concessions.
- For the after-party.
484
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,154
- The after-party?
- We're doing it for free.
485
00:19:57,154 --> 00:19:59,364
The vibe's great up there.
You don't mind, right?
486
00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:00,741
- It's a write-off.
- BOB: Mmm.
487
00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:02,659
Phew! Sorry. We're back. We're back.
488
00:20:02,659 --> 00:20:04,953
We remembered we have jobs
and came back to do them.
489
00:20:04,953 --> 00:20:07,289
Also, I saved Little King Trashmouth.
No big deal.
490
00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:10,459
Hi, Bob. I'm starving.
Can I get a burger and fries?
491
00:20:10,459 --> 00:20:13,378
And maybe some fries
for the lovebirds in the alley.
492
00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:14,880
But give them a few minutes.
493
00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:22,888
(SINGING TO RADIO)
39170
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