Original subtitles

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Anytime you meet a payment ♪

♪ Good times ♪ ♪ Anytime you need a friend ♪

♪ Good times ♪ ♪ Anytime you're out from under ♪

♪ Not gettin' hassled Not gettin' hustled ♪

♪ Keepin' your head above water ♪

♪ Makin' a wave when you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs ♪ ♪ Good times ♪

♪ Easy credit rip-offs ♪ ♪ Good times ♪

♪ Scratchin' and survivin' ♪ ♪ Good times ♪

♪ Hangin' in a chow line ♪ ♪ Good times ♪

♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪

♪ Good times ♪♪

Students, come over here and feast your eyeballs upon my painting.

When people see this painting,

Vincent van Gogh is gonna be known as Vincent van "Went."

This painting is so immortal not even I know what to say.

J.J., is this the painting you're gonna submit...

to the district art contest? Yep.

It's beautiful. I mean,

I could never paint that good.

I'm just wasting my time. I quit.

So do I. Maybe I should just go ahead and quit.

Hey, now take it easy. Take it easy, y'all.

Y'all can't quit.

Not my best students.

We're your only students.

Let's face it, J.J. I'm not getting anywhere.

Yeah. Me either, man. This paintin' jive ain't gonna keep me alive.

Hold on. Hold on.

As the French would say,

au contraire and bullion base.

Now, you say you're not getting anywhere.

I say, this girl can paint.

Leo, you say you want to quit.

I say, this girl can paint.

Hey, man. You know, this art... this art jive ain't for me.

And besides, I thought we was gonna be painting nude.

Hey, look here, Leo.

Anytime you want to take off your clothes, you go right ahead.

But, Leo and Emily, don't make any hasty decisions.

I mean, tomorrow y'all will feel differently. Just wait and see.

Yeah, I know I will.

'Cause tomorrow I'm joining the navy.

The navy? Hey, look here, man.

Haven't you heard what they're making you do?

They make you paint submarines under water...

from the outside.

Well, I'm better with a can of spray paint than I am with a brush.

Hi, kids. Hi, Mrs. Evans.

Ma, you're here just in time...

to try and talk some sense into this young man.

Come on over here. What would you say to a young man...

that's got all this talent and wants to throw it away by joining the navy?

♪ Anchors aweigh, my boy ♪

I heard that.

Hey, Leo, take it easy, man. I'll give you a discount:

all you can paint for a buck, 50. Oh, man.

I'll even clean your paintbrushes.

If you want to paint in the nude, I'll even clean your clothes.

Ah, Emily, my prize student.

I'm sorry, J.J. Maybe Leo's got the right idea.

No, he doesn't. You don't want to be a sailor.

Look here. You got a lot of talent.

Ask anybody from any walk of life.

Why, look what we have here... a bus driver.

Now let's ask her.

Miss Bus Driver, come on over here now. J.J.

Come on. Now, what do you think of the talent...

of my last paying student?

Well, to tell you the truth, Emily,

ever since you've been coming over here,

I've been very much impressed with your work.

You really have talent.

I mean, your sense of color and your style...

It shows a natural ability.

Come on, Mrs. Evans. You're exaggerating.

Oh, come on now. Could a face like this lie?

Why, next to Ma, Lincoln's known as...

"Occasionally Honest Abe."

Look, J.J., I haven't got half your talent.

Well, this is true.

But, Emily, you keep on working at it,

and one day you'll have your paintings hanging in the Louvre...

right under mine, next to those two famous brothers...

Michael and Angelo.

Oh, if I didn't know better,

I'd think J.J. painted this.

Now let's not go crazy.

Everybody knows there's only one J.J.

I'll thank the Lord for that.

But seriously, sweetheart, you do have talent,

and I'd hate to see you quit.

Thanks a lot, Mrs. Evans. Uh, look, J.J.

I'll let you know what's goin' on with the class next week, all right?

Okay, Emily.

Oh, come on now, Son. Don't let it get you down.

Oh, no, it doesn't, Ma.

At times like this I think of the famous words of General Custer:

"We can get out of this mess as long as we follow them arrows."

Oh, you'll have other students. I just know it.

Yeah, Ma, but that's not what bothers me.

It's seeing you navigate that bus.

Oh, I don't mind, Son. I love my work.

Yeah, but then you have to come home and work some more.

It pains me to watch you work this hard.

Yeah, he's gonna stop watching.

Stay out of this, turtle face.

Matter of fact, who's gonna come see me win the art contest tonight?

We will, brother-in-law. All right then.

We stick together in this family.

J.J., you know,

a couple of minutes you were down in the dumps.

Now you're just top-heavy with confidence.

Boy, I swear, you do more swingin' back and forth...

than a fly on a horse's tail.

Well, unbelievers, I want you to behold...

the latest J.J. Evans masterpiece.

I hope y'all can handle it, 'cause here it comes.

Oh, J.J., it's beautiful.

This is the best thing you've ever done.

Hey, man, I don't know what to say.

You can start off with super-sensational and fantastic.

Well, it's super-sensational and fantastic.

You really mean it? Ha-ha!

You have such a way with words.

You know, everybody knows I'm the best painter in the ghetto.

Then how come you didn't win last year, membrane nose?

The truth is, he didn't take enough time with his painting last year.

Yeah, but this year, I'm working on it all the way to the deadline.

Which happens to be 5:00. Well, good luck, Son.

But don't get your hopes up too high.

You know, you just may not win.

Not win?

The chances of me not winning...

are the same chances Dolly Parton has of sleeping on her stomach.

Well, since it's such a sure-fire win,

how come you're not working on your acceptance speech?

Dear Dudes and Dudettes...

and members of the J.J. School of Art.

J.J., you can't say that.

It sounds like you're doing a commercial.

Why not, Ma? When I win the contest...

I'm gonna have students coming left and right.

Hey, I got to get to work. Later, y'all. Okay.

Well, I better get back to my canvas here, Ma.

Got a lot of work to do.

Got to have a lot of silence. Genius at work.

Got to get this stroke exactly...

Hi, y'all!

- Exactly wrong. - Something happen?

No, Willona. I just happen to be working on the most significant painting of my life.

Oh, good. I thought I might be interrupting something important.

You want a cup of coffee? No, baby, I gotta get to the boutique.

We're having the sale of the year. Everything is marked down 75%.

Seventy-five percent? How will y'all make money?

We spent the whole day marking everything up 80%.

For our regular customers, we got some real good deals.

And I found the dress for you. Mm-mm.

Mm-mmm, nope. Don't tempt me.

Remember that dress you loved in the window that cost $200, with the lace sleeves?

- I can't afford it. - Flo, it's $80 now.

And with my discount, you can get it for $60.

It's still out of my neighborhood.

Well, it's cut to make a woman look 10 pounds thinner.

Uh! There goes the neighborhood.

- Ta-da! Finished. - Ooh, this is bad. Who did this one?

That's Emily's work. Hmm.

J.J., don't you have to get down to the district hall...

with your painting for the contest?

Uh, no, Ma. I got to wait for it to dry.

Anyway, Bookman promised to take it down in his pickup truck.

- Bookman? - Booger did that for you?

Honey, how much did he charge you?

Nothing. I just walked up to Bookman and said three little words:

- sweet potato pie. - That's figures.

Hey, Bookman.

Just the man I wanted to see.

Look here, Bookman. Don't forget to take that painting...

down to the district hall today at 5:00.

It's on the easel closest to the door.

On the easel closest to the door, yeah.

Don't forget about that sweet potato pie.

Don't worry about it. It's in the refrigerator closest to the door.

Don't eat any of it until you take the painting...

down to the district hall.

Mmm, sweet potato pie. Oh, I can taste it now.

Oh! J.J.!

J.J., don't drop me!

I won't. I won't, Bookman. Oh! Oh!

You sure you got me, J.J.?

If I don't, I'll be dead meat.

Oh, boy.

I can see the headlines now.

"Avalanche of Buns Kills Promising Young Artist...

in Ham Hock Fall."

Uh! Oh! Oh, boy.

Oh, J.J., you got me? Oh! Oh. Oh.

Oh! Boy, you saved my life, J.J.

Oh, yeah, Bookman. And the life of the people 17 floors down too.

Look, Bookman.

Don't forget to take that painting down to the district hall by 5:00.

Don't forget that painting.

Don't make me waste my money. It's gonna be good.

You're gonna look so bad, child. Oh!

Hey, Ms. Evans. I came to pick up J.J.'s painting.

I know. I know. He told me.

Hi, Ms. Woods. Hi, fat face.

Bookman!

No pie until you deliver the painting.

I was just checking to see if you needed a new bulb in here.

I know.

Ahh.

Hello? J.J., where are you, man?

You're down at the corner at the phone booth? Say what?

Oh, you were in a hurry and forgot to sign your name on the painting.

No sweat. I'll just tell 'em that the painting is being entered by J.J. Evans.

Yeah, I got it, man.

I'm gonna take care of it right now.

Stop eating what pie?

Hey, man, I'll take care of it.

Hmm. People don't trust nobody these days.

All right. Cut it out, Keith.

I know I didn't gain that much weight.

- There you go. - Smarty!

Ooh-whee!

Is this too much?

Not for me.

You know, if J.J. wins,

the whole family may be called up to take a bow.

Thelma, that could be a total disaster for you.

Correction. You won't even be seen in the same room...

with that walking fun house over there.

J.J., what in the world is this you got on?

I think it's Liberace's hand-me-downs.

That shows you how much you philistines know about color.

My socks are white. My suit is burgundy.

My shirt is green,

and I am a vision to be seen.

Yeah, you put them all together, and they come out obscene.

You got some nerve.

A man who wouldn't know a polyester if he stepped on one.

Ah-ooh! Oh, J.J.

Now, why can't you wear clothes like everybody else, huh?

I hereby declare a moratorium...

on any more insults about my clothing.

- I'll give you a moratorium. - Hey, hey, I'm ready.

Hey, I didn't know it was a costume party.

What made you decide to go as a peacock?

Enough. Enough.

Ma, I got a feeling tonight my ship is going to come in.

Hi, folks.

Looks like the whole fleet just came in.

We better get moving if we want to get seats.

He's right. We'd better hurry. We got to get five seats.

Hey, you forgot to include me.

That means we're gonna need at least 10 or 12 seats.

Oh, come on, Ms. Woods.

Oh, J.J., I sure dig your brim, baby. That's bad.

Look at that. Ha! See? We got the same tastes, you know?

Now, that hat is something else.

I'd like to have one, but I think it's too conservative for me.

See that, Ma? Bookman likes my outfit.

How you like it?

Well, uh, let's just say...

that when you win and you go to accept your cup,

if they have a power failure,

we'll still see J.J.

But how do you like the outfit, Ma?

See you in the winner's circle. Oh, J.J.

Boy, what a great turnout.

Yeah. I'm so glad so many people came.

Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

Look who's coming. Alderman Davis.

The world's biggest turnoff.

Well, if it isn't my favorite project family...

and their lovely neighbor "Pomona."

Listen, billiard head.

This judging better be on the up-and-up. You hear me?

The name of the Alderman Davis...

has always been associated with double honesty,

double integrity...

And double dealing. And double deal...

No! Now, that's not right, "Travona."

I'm proud of my record.

And the taxpayers are gonna see...

that it's not a long-playing record.

Now, Flo, you see,

I was just about to invite you and your family...

and "Verona" over to my house...

for, uh, one of my outdoor barbecues.

But if you insist on talking like that,

then it just might be necessary for me to invite...

some other nice lady whose lease is also coming up next month.

Aw, topless.

You have always known how to fight fair, but you never do.

Well, I see they're ready for me on the podium.

So, uh, I'll say farewell now...

to the wonderful Evanses.

And to you too, dear "Collona."

Willona, take it easy. Matter of fact, why don't you hand out...

a few of these cards while you're around here? Cards?

Yeah. "For the finest lessons under the heavens,

you can't go wrong with J.J. Evans."

I'm not passing these cards out, honey.

J.J., that's no way to advertise your business.

Yeah, Ma. I guess you're right. I'm sorry.

Right. Be subtle.

Boy, put your jacket back on.

I guess I'll go mingle with the people so they can see their winner.

Hello there. Yeah, you're lookin' at the winner.

How you doing? Nice to see you.

It's a wonderful place.

Excuse me, mademoiselle.

I could tell by the back of your head...

that you have a fantastic amount of artistic talent.

What do you say... Oh, Emily.

J.J., what is this you're handing me?

Just his usual jive, Emily.

Hey, hey, hey, gang, look. The big breeze is about to blow.

Let's sit down. Oh. Okay. Okay, okay.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

I am your alderman, Fred C. Davis.

And I thank you for your generous ovation.

Now if you'll just, uh, settle back down,

uh, we'll get on with it.

Friends and neighbors,

as I look out upon this wonderful sea...

of upturned votes... I mean, faces...

I bid you welcome...

to the Second Annual District Art Contest.

Now, perhaps you would like to know...

some of the background behind,

uh, the organization of the...

No! No, no, no!

Of course, on the other hand,

may perhaps you might not.

So, we'll just, uh, settle right down to the nitty-gritty...

and announce the prizes.

Now before I announce the first prize,

the runner-up is...

Belinda Robbins, for her oil painting, Study in Lust.

All right.

Study in Lust?

She must be painting that by memory.

J.J., stop it.

Well, whatever's goin' on,

it must be goin' on behind that red stripe.

Oh, excuse me, mother, there must be some mistake.

Don't you "mother" me.

You just give me my plaque,

you dirty old man, you!

I should've won first prize.

Ooh. Oh, you ol' bald-headed sucker.

And now the moment that we've all been waiting for...

The silver cup award for the finest amateur painting...

in our fair district.

Amateur? You mean professional, brother. Shh, J.J.

Now, perhaps you might like to know how I became involved in...

Oh, no! Will you get on with it, billiard head?

On the other hand, perhaps you might not.

First prize, for his untitled oil painting,

James Evans Jr.

Yea, J.J.! Congratulations!

Yeah, J.J. All right!

See, Ma, I told you, dreams do come true.

I'm so surprised.

I had not even planned on winning.

I had no idea that this was going to happen.

I just can't believe it myself. This is totally amazing.

That's not J.J.'s painting. That's Emily's.

Would you like to say a few words, J.J.?

Well, uh, I hadn't planned on anything, but, uh...

You know, uh...

"Dear patrons of the arts and future students,

to quote my old buddy Pablo Picasso"...

Known in trade as Petey... "who once said,

'I don't care if people don't look like that. I'm gonna paint 'em anyway.'"

Or as my one-eared colleague Vinnie van Gogh once said,

"Would you mind speaking up, friend."

J.J., behind you.

Yeah, Ma, the toughest days are behind me.

Uh.

I've, uh...

I've worked very hard on this painting for the last three weeks,

and been working on it day and night.

And, uh, er... uh, I'd like to say that, er, uh... uh...

Uh, I'd like to say that, uh...

Uh, this is not my painting.

Uh, this belongs to a young lady sitting in the front row,

Miss Emily Gibbs.

Uh, Emily, come up and receive your cup.

Oh, my goodness. I don't even know what to say.

I don't even know how my painting got entered. I mean...

Thank you, Mom and Dad.

And thank everybody for just being here, you know?

J.J., are you all right? Why?

Well, I seem to remember you a little taller.

Oh. It's just that I thought I'd win the art contest, Ma,

and have a flock of students and bring in a lot of money.

Sorry I disappointed you.

Disappointed me?

A son who is a gifted artist?

Who can accept defeat and give others credit?

Who is a great teacher,

and whose student won first prize?

Go on.

But the one thing I can't figure out is,

what happened to your painting?

I don't know, Ma.

Bookman must've delivered the wrong painting.

Impossible. I delivered the right painting.

I remember every detail. You said, "Take

the painting off the easel and put it down."

Then I smelled the sweet potato pie. I went to the refrigerator and opened the door.

Then the phone rang. That was you. You told me to take the painting off the easel.

That's exactly what I did. I brought the wrong painting.

I was just trying to do a favor. I ain't Vincent van "Gock."

I was doing it on my day off. Trying to do y'all a favor.

Delivered the wrong painting. Aah!

J.J., isn't there anything we can do to protest the decision?

Oh, no, Ma. I mean, Emily won fair and square.

Oh, Son.

I'm even more proud of you.

There he is. That's my teacher, J.J. Evans.

Oh, what's happening?

Class cards. Y'all want to be a member of the art class?

Well, wait a minute. Let me get my cards out. Hold on.

Y'all want to sign up? I'm really cleanin' up here, Ma.

It's unbelievable! Here you go.

Well, Son. You were wrong about that dream.

This one came true.

Yeah, but it sure took the scenic route to get here.

♪ Keepin' your head above water ♪

♪ Makin' a wave when you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs ♪ ♪ Good times ♪

♪ Easy credit rip-offs ♪ ♪ Good times ♪

♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪

♪ Good times ♪♪ Good Times was videotaped before a studio audience.