Original subtitles

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Anytime you meet a payment ♪

♪ Good times ♪ ♪ Anytime you need a friend ♪

♪ Good times ♪ ♪ Anytime you're out from under ♪

♪ Not gettin' hassled Not gettin' hustled ♪

♪ Keepin' your head above water ♪

♪ Makin' a wave when you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs ♪ ♪ Good times ♪

♪ Easy credit rip-offs ♪ ♪ Good times ♪

♪ Scratchin' and survivin' ♪ ♪ Good times ♪

♪ Hangin' in a chow line ♪ ♪ Good times ♪

♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪

♪ Good times ♪♪

- Whoo! - Oh, boy. Hey, Michael?

Yeah, man? I'll trade you the nasal spray for the throat spray.

You got it.

Oh, boy.

Ahh.

You two make great music together.

I studied nose under Leonard Bernstein. He taught me how to blow it.

Ma, could you please hurry up with that tea? We're dyin' here.

Take it easy, everybody.

We all just gonna have to sit tight and ride this one out. Yeah.

Half of Chicago is down with the flu.

Oh, the tea. Yeah, Ma, everybody in the house is sick, except you and J.J.

Yeah. Well, I don't know how much longer I'll be able to keep going.

My school bus is down to just three kids.

And you know, they still fightin' over seats?

Aww. You're the only one that's not complaining.

How are you, sweetheart? I think I'm all right.

I just feel kind of achy.

No sooner than your mama goes out of town, you come down with the flu.

It's probably better that way.

You know how frantic Mama gets when I'm sick. That's true.

If it isn't the Zorro of the Ghetto.

Laugh if you must, postnasal face,

but I'm still healthy, and y'all are sickies.

You've just been lucky up to now, J.J.

Bugs have a hard time getting into your body.

They just keep slidin' off.

You'll get it sooner or later.

Au contraire, brother-in-law. I'll have you know I am the Prince of Health.

Hmm. Germs are naturally repelled by my body.

Just like girls, huh?

Thelma, I won't retaliate to that comment because of your condition...

Terminal ugliness. Oh, you shouldn't talk about ugliness.

When you were born, the doctor didn't know which end to slap.

You got some nerve, coyote face, bear head.

Shut up! Get on outta here!

More vitamin "C"? Mm-hmm.

Keith, you've already had 2,000 milligrams.

Yeah, you take any more of that stuff and you gonna start sweating orange juice.

I gotta get a hat for my nose.

I tried a 12-hour time capsule,

a nasal decongestant and sinus spray,

and my head is still clogged.

There's only one thing left... The Roto-Rooter man.

All right, everybody. Time to take temperatures again. Oh, Mom!

Not again! Oh, come on. Come on now.

We can't be too careful with a flu like this.

One for you.

And one for my little Penny.

All right.

Ready, set, go!

Isn't it amazing?

Medical science has finally found a way to keep Thelma quiet.

Thank you, Thelma.

That's the nicest thing you ever said to me...

And the smartest.

J.J., can't you find anything better to do?

Yeah, I can, Ma. Matter of fact,

this flu epidemic has knocked the sails out of my love life.

So I got to find me one healthy woman in Chicago to go out with...

Preferably real healthy.

Hello? Hello there, Mr. Johnson.

Yeah, let me speak to Yvonne. This is Yvonne?

Oh, go on, girl. You sound like Barry White.

"Right on" to you too.

Yeah, well, look. Take two aspirin.

Call me in the morning. Que será.

101.6?

Oh, child, you are sick.

Aunt Florida, I'm not gonna have to go to the clinic, am I?

Oh, of course not, baby. We're gonna take you to a private doctor.

The clinic's a real zoo. By the time they call your number,

you're lucky if it isn't really up.

Yeah, there's still dudes there waitin' to be treated for dinosaur bites.

J.J., look in that little book, and call Dr. Simpson, please. Right.

Dr. Simpson moved out of the ghetto six months ago, remember?

Yeah, Ma. His burglary insurance was stolen, so he moved to the west side.

What's that other doctor's name? Uh, Warren.

- Try Dr. Warren. - All right.

Do you think you can get up and get dressed, baby?

Yeah, I think I can make it. Good.

Hello. Yeah. Let me speak to Dr. Warren, This is urgent.

Well, why not?

Oh, I see. Good-bye.

Ohh.

Dr. Warren got mugged three times last month.

He wanted to treat himself, but his price was too high.

Have mercy. Go on, baby.

But he's referrin' all his patients to a Dr. Kelly...

over on 62nd Street. Oh, that's just terrific. They're all leaving!

Yeah. Pretty soon the only doctor left in the ghetto is gonna be Dr. Pepper.

Well, Dr. Kelly it is.

And we'd better hurry before he moves.

Oh, my. This is a nice office.

Yeah, almost makes you wanna get sick.

Come on.

I'm Mrs. Evans, and this is the young lady I called about.

She's achy and weak and has a temperature of 102.

Sounds familiar. Take a seat in Room Two.

Fill out this form while you wait.

Come on, baby.

Hey, there, mama. What's happenin'?

You must've worked all day thinking up that line.

You know, I like my young ladies with a sense of humor.

What do you say after you get off, me and you go out and play a little...

doctor?

I don't play doctor.

Oh, married, huh?

No. Got a boyfriend, huh?

No.

I can't figure this out.

Then how come you don't wanna go out with me?

Can I help it if I have taste?

Now, who taught you nursing... Don Rickles?

Look here, mama. If you play your cards right,

I'll introduce you to Dr. Kelly,

personal friend of mine.

I am the doctor,

and I got a lot of work to do, Casanova.

I knew she was a doctor.

I knew it all the time. I knew it all the time.

Hey, there, mama. What's happenin'?

Now... there. That didn't hurt, did it? A little.

Hmm. Well, guess what? You're all finished.

Penny, why don't you wait out there with J.J. Okay.

Well, Doctor, was it anything serious? No, just the flu.

That vitamin shot I gave her along with the antibiotics should take care of it.

Just see that she gets plenty of fluids.

With this flu epidemic going around, you must've had your hands full lately.

To say the least. You know, Mrs. Evans,

many illnesses can be prevented if you people

would learn to take care of yourselves.

I beg your pardon?

Oh, I prescribe, I advise, I even plead.

I just get no cooperation from you people.

- We people? - Yes.

When I decided not to go into my father's practice on Lakeshore Drive,

I did it because I wanted to practice medicine...

where I thought I could make a difference.

I honestly thought I could help you people.

What do you mean, we people?

When you look in the mirror, who do you see?

Debby Boone?

Now, you may be a fancy doctor from the right side of the tracks,

but I've got news for you.

You're still one of us.

That's not what I mean. No? Then what did you mean?

Well, you people...

All right. All right. All right.

The people here...

Half of you don't even see a doctor before it's too late.

Half of you don't even take the medicine I prescribe.

Maybe half of us can't afford the medicine you prescribe.

Good health is priceless, Mrs. Evans. And your diet...

It's no wonder so many black people are suffering from high blood pressure.

You people are killing yourselves gobbling down...

fatback, ham hocks, pig's feet.

You may not know it, Doctor,

but there's been a shortage of caviar in the ghetto.

You don't have to be wealthy to eat balanced meals, Mrs. Evans.

It's simply a matter of eating lean meat, fresh fruit and vegetables.

We buy what is cheapest,

and the markets make damn sure it ain't cheap.

Now, you may be talking health,

but in this neighborhood, we're talking survival.

Now you think about that.

Oh, believe me, I'm thinking about survival... my own.

That's precisely why I've decided to get out.

Well, Doctor, if that's your choice, I can't do anything about it.

But somebody ought to feel responsible for poor people...

who have nobody else to depend on except the few dedicated black doctors...

who have the guts to stick with us.

Don't lay that guilt trip on me.

If the shoe fits, wear it!

Look at this, Mrs. Evans.

My drugs have been stolen, my equipment vandalized.

I have to lock up my office at 4:00 in the afternoon,

just so I can stand an even chance of getting home without being mugged.

I didn't fight through 12 years of medical school to be a target.

All right. Maybe you have been hurt by some senseless hoodlums,

but what about the rest of us who are sick and need your help?

I'm sorry.

Good-bye, Doctor.

We people have to get back to our ghetto.

I don't understand. This child is getting worse.

Maybe I should take her to another doctor.

Oh, but where am I gonna find another doctor now?

Maybe we can wait till Wednesday, go out on the golf course...

and collapse on the green.

J.J., can I borrow some aspirin?

Yeah, Bookman. Come on in.

We got regular strength, extra strength,

and for you, hippopotamus strength.

Hey, J.J., give me a break, man. I feel lousy.

Just what we need... Hurricane Booger.

Can I have something to wipe my nose with?

Ma, you got an extra bedsheet?

Here, Booger... Bookman.

And take a few of these.

Oh, thank you, Mrs. Evans. Yeah, Bookman.

And you'll really like these aspirin. Yeah.

They really get rid of a headache fast. Oh, that's terrific.

Watch this. Good-bye! Hey!

Aunt Florida, I feel horrible... real cold then hot.

She's shaking!

Oh, poor baby, you're burning up!

Thelma, bring me a thermometer, please.

Aunt Florida, I'm scared. Oh, you're gonna be all right.

We're all here. You're gonna be just fine. Don't worry.

Thank you, dear.

Did the doctor answer yet, J.J.?

Not yet, Ma. They got that canned music on here...

The Osmond Brothers singin' "I Left My Heart In Salt Lake City."

Oh, my God, 104!

Oh, Ma, maybe that medicine is just not working.

Penny, are you still cold?

No. Now I feel hot and achy.

Hello. Let me speak to the doctor. This is urgent.

Give it here. Hello. This is Mrs. Evans.

Yes, I was in there earlier today with Penny Woods.

The child has a temperature of 104.

Look, is there any way the doctor could come over and take a look at her?

Well, tell her it's an emergency!

Oh! Ma, she wouldn't come over?

She won't even come to the phone.

Now there's only one thing for me to do. I'm going over there and get her.

Ma, it's a quarter to 4:00. You better hurry up before she leaves.

I'm leaving right now. You all take care of Penny.

Penny, how you doin' now? All right, I guess.

You know, Penny,

when I was a little boy in Philadelphia...

Hey, hey, hey, hey...

I had to have my tonsils out, and I couldn't

eat anything solid, like jawbreakers,

so my mom kept feeding me chocolate pudding...

till it was comin' out of my ears.

That night... Late that night, I was sittin' in my room,

and I had this terrible dream.

This gigantic blob of chocolate puddin' was comin' through the door!

Hi, everybody.

My dream's comin' true!

Hey, what dream? Was I in somebody's dream?

Not a dream, Bookman... A nightmare.

And what you doin' here anyway?

I thought I'd bring over a few things to cheer Penny up.

Hey, Penny.

I got this cuddly, little, furry, adorable puppy.

Isn't it cute?

Are you sure you wanna part with your little puppy dog, Booger?

Cute! Cut that out, Keith.

Hey, Bookman, don't you think she's a little too old for that?

I got something else.

- Ta-da! - A coloring book?

A coloring book? Let me see this.

"Tiny Terry the Turtle Takes a Trip on the 'A' Train."

Bookman, I'd sure like to see the rest of your library.

That's not mine. That belongs to my niece.

Not according to this.

"To my dearest Nathan, on our 25th wedding anniversary."

Give me that, fool!

You see that, Bookman. You did cheer her up Penny. She's laughin'.

Hello.

Oh, Willona. Oh, yes, I'm fine.

Well, everybody's fine. Uh-huh. Who? Penny?

Uh, well, um, Penny is doin' great for a person with a 104... I mean...

Uh, Willona. Willona, what she means is 104 points.

Yeah, we're playin' knock rummy.

Uh, let me handle this.

Willona, this here is J.J.

Yeah, everything is fine. Oh, you want to speak to Ma?

Uh, see, Ma is not here. She went to get the doctor. Oh! Did I say doctor?

What I meant is that she was an hour and a half late for work today,

so they docked her.

Yeah, and she was really hot about the situation.

Had a terrible fever.

All right, Willona. The truth.

And the truth is, Penny does have a little fever, but she's fine...

Willona? Hello?

Hello? Uh-oh.

Good-bye.

Willona took it real fine. She fainted.

Hmm, that's fine. Good day.

Oh, thank heavens, you're still here.

Oh, Mrs. Evans, I was just leaving. It's 4:00.

Doctor, you have to look at Penny. She's worse.

What do you mean, worse? She's running a 104 fever,

and she's having chills. My advice is to keep giving her the fluids,

aspirin every four hours and the alcohol rubs.

If necessary, uh, bring her in to see me first thing in the morning.

Oh, Doctor, the child is too weak to get up.

Can't you come by and have a look at her? Please?

Oh, Mrs. Evans.

Have you any idea what would happen if I were to visit all my patients personally?

They'd probably have a heart attack...

from the surprise of seeing you.

Look, Doctor, I have a sick child at home.

What if it's something serious?

Mrs. Evans, the medical system...

has specific provisions for emergencies.

You can always call an ambulance.

An ambulance!

The only time we see an ambulance in our neighborhood...

is when they run out of gas on their way to another neighborhood.

This child needs help now!

I can't change things overnight.

I'm only a doctor, not a saint!

You certainly are not.

Saints walked with people.

They didn't float above them.

Good day, Mrs. Evans.

Doctor, please.

That child was left in my care.

I'm responsible for her, and I love her.

Help her.

Help me.

Please!

Where do you live, Mrs. Evans? Oh.

It's just about a 10-minute walk from here. Let's go.

Oh, thank you, Doctor. Thank you.

Well, Doc, how's she doin'? Fine.

She's gonna be just fine.

Oh, thank heavens. Now, what was it, Doc?

Apparently, Penny has a virus that doesn't respond to the pills I gave her.

I'm trying another medication that I'm sure will bring that fever down.

I'll stay and see just how she responds. Oh, thank you.

I'm gonna pour us a cup of coffee.

Oh, thank you. I could use some.

Oh, Doctor, I am so glad that you decided to come.

And you see, Doc,

your coming did make a difference.

Thanks to you. It did, didn't it?

You know, we're gonna be very sorry to lose you, Doctor.

I'm not so sure about that now.

Oh?

Coming over here today, Mrs. Evans... It made me...

It made me realize how I've lost touch with you people...

My people, my patients.

Ah.

I'm not gonna make any promises, but...

I think I'm gonna stay around a little while longer. Oh!

We sure can use you. Give it a little time to get a real sense of the community.

Yeah, pretty soon, you'll be passing for one of us.

J.J., will you stop it?

I'm sorry.

I knew it. I knew he'd finally get sick.

The Prince of Health finally falls.

Doctor, would you take a look at J.J. for me, please?

Aw, come on now. Ain't nothin' wrong with this magnificent body.

That's a body?

I suppose I could examine it,

but, uh, I might need a microscope.

Now take it easy, y'all. It was only a little sneeze.

Oh, we'll see about that.

Open your mouth wide. Say, "Ah."

Ahh-ohh. Ah. Ah!

Ahh-ohh. Ah, ah!

Oh. Uh-huh!

Uh! Oh. Oh, no.

What is it, Doctor? What is it?

Mrs. Evans. Yes.

I'm afraid your son has a severe case of...

malaguena. Oh!

Malaguena?

Ohh, no! I can't believe it!

Not me! I'm too young to go!

Thelma, get the vaccine! Gimme some beriberi juice!

No! Malaguena!

♪ Keepin' your head above water ♪

♪ Makin' a wave when you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs ♪ ♪ Good times ♪

♪ Easy credit rip-offs ♪ ♪ Good times ♪

♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪

♪ Good times ♪♪ Good Times was videotaped before a studio audience.