Original subtitles

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Anytime you meet a payment ♪

♪ Good times ♪ ♪ Anytime you need a friend ♪

♪ Good times ♪ ♪ Anytime you're out from under ♪

♪ Not gettin' hassled Not gettin' hustled ♪

♪ Keepin' your head above water ♪

♪ Makin' a wave when you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs ♪ ♪ Good times ♪

♪ Easy credit rip-offs ♪ ♪ Good times ♪

♪ Scratchin' and survivin' ♪ ♪ Good times ♪

♪ Hangin' in a chow line ♪ ♪ Good times ♪

♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪

♪ Good times ♪♪

King me!

Or as they say in a democracy, "President me."

Or as my little brother Billy would say, burp me.

And as your commander in chief on this checkered battlefield,

I'd like to say to my worthy opponent Michael,

I'm against war, I'm against bloodshed.

And unless you concede, I'm gonna go upside your head.

- It's only a checker game. - Yeah, but this is the first time I ever beat Michael.

Yeah? Well, we'll see. The game's not over yet.

You only got one man left to my four, and it's my move.

Your chances of winning this is about the same

as me selling Afro Sheen to Telly Savalas.

Okay, baby. Come on now. Make your move.

This is my moment of glory, and I'm gonna make it last as long as I can.

Yeah? Well, just play the game.

Hey, Keith, thanks for the loan of the Afro comb, bro.

Here you go. Ooh!

Fool, you messed up the whole game, you know?

I had him.

For the first time in my life, I had him.

I had him.

Let me see your throat, J.J. I wanna remember

how it looked with the head still attached.

Hey. Take it easy there, Keith.

Don't you know you couldn't have won that game anyway? Why not?

Didn't you know? Michael marks the checkers.

Hey, Michael, that's not fair. J.J. said you marked all the checkers.

Very funny. Very funny. What you got there, my man?

This here is my portfolio I'm taking to Gary, Indiana, with me.

When I go down to the bus station to get my bus ticket,

I want you to guard this with your life, or Thelma's, whichever comes first.

J.J., how come you have to go all the way to Gary, Indiana, just to look for a job?

Don't they have comic book companies in Chicago?

Yeah, Michael. But see, the Mahogany Comic Company is a new one in Gary,

and that opening they got for assistant art

director can get me in on the ground floor.

They're offering me a salary commensurate with my talent.

- How much is that? - We agreed to split the bus fare.

That sure doesn't sound like much.

Michael, once I make my presence known,

it'll be a short, swift elevator ride...

up to the executive suite.

Oh, you're gonna be running the elevators.

Thelma, as a gesture of appreciation,

I'm gonna dedicate my first comic book issue to you. Oh, that's nice.

Yeah. I'm gonna call it The Creature from the Planet Ugly.

That's right. That's right. That's right.

You heard me, you old ham hock hips! Shut up!

Get on outta here! Oh, you better...

So, you got this all figured out, don't you, J.J.?

No doubt about it, Keith. When the people in Gary see this portfolio...

they gonna push me right past publisher.

Then my name will be James Evans Hefner, E.S.Q...

Stands for equestrian!

J.J., an equestrian is a person who rides horseback.

Michael, a jackass would not know that.

- Let me see this mess you got here. - Yeah. Come on, J.J.

Hey, take it easy. Hold on, hold on, hold on now.

These are only the sketches.

Over here, y'all, I have the originals.

Oh, yeah? Well, what is it? Come on.

Yeah, y'all, it's my own superhero.

You mean you invented a superhero? Not just a superhero...

The ultimate superhero.

A little silence, please.

Faster than a marriage to Zsa Zsa Gabor.

More powerful than the Chicago Bears' locker room.

Able to leap Dolly Parton in a single bound.

Well, make that two single bounds.

It's a bird. It's a plane.

It's Dyno-Man!

J.J., that body is out of this world.

And so is the face.

Well, you know, what can I say?

Not much, Brother.

I searched for weeks for a model for this,

and I narrowed it down to either me or Muhammad Ali.

- And you picked yourself? - Well, Ali never showed up.

Uh-oh. Maybe that's him now.

It's not Ali. It's Rope-a-dope.

Hi. What ya know, folks? I just come up to let you know...

that the elevator's gonna be out of order for its annual service check.

So if you guys got something to do, you better hurry up.

Service check? Since when do we have an annual service check?

What do you mean? We've always had an annual service check.

Of course, you probably don't remember the last one. You were just a baby.

You know, Bookman, you could save yourself the trouble of going door-to-door...

by just putting up an "out of order" sign.

Yeah, I know, but I'm running short of "out of order" signs.

I gotta put one on the first-floor elevator door.

Plus I got some in the laundry room and the furnace room.

And the one on your bathroom scale.

Come on, Bookman. Enough of this foolishness. I got a lot of things to do.

Let's get out of here. Yeah, okay. Hey, what is this?

Bookman, that's my own superhero.

Supersleuth, purveyor of truth... Dyno-Man!

How you like it? Fantastic!

Hey, J.J., you gave him my physique, huh?

Come on, Bookman. Let's go.

Hey, man, I remember when I was a kid. I always wanted to be a superhero.

Oh, yeah? Well, Bookman, I didn't use your flab,

but I did use something of yours in the paintin'. You did, J.J.? What?

The eyes? Maybe the chin? How 'bout the hands?

No, Bookman. The cape.

See, I just took a pair of your drawers, cut 'em in half...

- Hi, kids. - Hi, Ma.

Larry, you can hang your coat right there.

Good afternoon, Mrs. Evans. I just came up to let you know...

the elevator's gonna be out of service, but I see you already caught it.

Well, I always knew that if ever anybody was gonna catch anything,

it'll be on that elevator.

J.J., did you pick up your tickets yet?

Not yet, Ma. We're just getting ready to leave now.

Come on, Bookman. Let's get out of here.

Hey, Ma, who's your little friend?

Oh. Larry Baker, this is my son-in-law Keith.

Hi. How you doing?

And this is my daughter Thelma, and my youngest son Michael.

How you doing?

That's some shot you must have taken there.

- Were you in a fight or somethin'? - Sort of.

"Fight" is using the word loosely.

Him and his little rivals came close to tearing up my bus.

- Who was he fightin'? - Everybody!

It looked like a traveling Roller Derby back there.

And for no reason.

It seems that all of the other kids just felt like picking on him.

Yeah, and it's a good thing she pulled me off of them, too,

'cause I was startin' to get mad!

I know what you mean.

That old Rayfield Davis will never be the same again,

the way you was beatin' up his fist with your face.

Well, he got in a few lucky ones.

So you broke up the fight, huh?

Yeah. And now I gotta call Larry's parents,

'cause I think some of those kids are still waiting downstairs for him.

I just can't understand why. Larry never causes anybody any trouble.

He's quiet, he's shy, and... Yo, Larry, don't mess with that.

- Hey, Larry! - Huh?

- I said don't mess with that, bro. - Oh. Okay. Sorry.

Look, Larry, there is paper and pencil in my bedroom if you wanna draw.

It's right around there. The last door, okay? Okay.

You want me to move the easel? Oh no, no, no. It's all right where it is.

It's just that we've gotta be patient when he makes mistakes.

All of us. Why?

Well... Well, because he's a special child.

Special? Mama, are you tryin' to say he's retarded?

Oh, no, no.

I mean, he may be a little slower than others, that's all.

So I want you to be careful what you say,

and just try to use a little more patience with him, all right?

- Okay, Ma. - I know that's a lot for you to cope with.

Oh, no, Ma. That's okay. We can handle it. You know, we all live with J.J.

Michael, you cheatin' me!

Uh-uh, baby. You got to king me, mama. I want the crown.

Another king? Aww! There you go.

I swear, you cheat! Listen, everybody.

When I said be careful what you say to Larry,

I naturally assumed somebody would be saying something to him once in a while.

Oh. Okay, Ma, I'll go talk to him.

No, you two go ahead and finish the game.

I happen to have a natural rapport with kids.

Then how come I don't have any grandchildren?

Uh, maybe the rabbit's a little slow. Oh!

So what ya been drawing, my man, Larry?

Hey, Larry? Hey, Larry!

- I said, what ya been drawing, my man? - Oh. Just a lake.

You like drawing lakes? Yeah.

Well, let me see what you got there. Mm-hmm.

You got the lake and the dock and the... Hey, what are these things here?

- Houses. - What are houses doing on the lake?

- Haven't you heard of houseboats? - But you're not supposed to...

You're not supposed to put your feet on the table.

- Oh, okay. - So what do you like drawing besides docks, boats and lakes?

Do you like drawing... You like riddles?

- If they're funny. - I got one for you... surefire too.

How come the man tiptoed past the medicine chest?

Because he didn't wanna wake up the sleeping pills.

Don't you know any new ones?

I know some new ones. I got one I just made up, right for you.

How come Indians always get rooms at hotels?

Because they've all got reservations.

You should've made up the punch line too.

Now you answer me one. Okay.

What's black and white and red all over?

That's easy. A newspaper.

Nope. A zebra with ketchup.

I ain't never heard that one before.

How could you? I just made it up.

All right, Thelma, I want another king.

Michael, I think you do have these checkers marked.

No, I don't. Yes, you do!

Wouldn't you rather go over there and watch them play checkers?

Might as well. Nothing's happening over here.

Well, how did it go?

Cancel the grandchildren.

Now you remember to keep quiet while Thelma and Michael concentrate, okay?

Larry, do you know anything about checkers?

Yeah. They always add up your food wrong at the supermarket.

And as for this game, I know enough to know...

that Thelma won't win if she keeps on playing like that.

- Oh, really? - Yeah. You should've moved that man to there.

That way you would've had a jump and a king...

because he couldn't have gotten that man.

Ma, you all right? Yeah. It just slipped.

What happened?

I just dropped a plate. Didn't you...

Uh, Thelma, get up and let Larry finish this game, please.

Oh, come on, Ma. He's just a little kid.

No competition for me in checkers. I know. Larry?

Okay. Thanks. My move? Yeah, it's your move.

Well.

- Well! - Larry, that was good!

Larry?

Ma, what's the matter with him?

You know something? This child isn't retarded.

He just can't hear.

Your move.

No, it's all right. I'll call back later. Thank you.

Hi, Flo. Hi.

Did you call his parents yet? Yeah.

I called her at work and they said she left a long time ago.

Well, maybe she's waitin' for a bus. Lord rest her soul.

- Oh, Willona! - You know how those buses run around here.

Half of them run an hour late and the other half don't run at all.

I don't care how she gets here.

I just can't wait to tell her about her son.

Flo, now, you know me. I don't stick my nose in nobody's business.

- What? - Well, sometimes.

But, Flo, don't you think you might be stepping out of bounds...

telling that child's family that there's nothing wrong with his mind?

Willona, this time I am sure of it.

That child has a hearing problem.

He don't even respond when you call his name unless he's looking right at you.

That still don't mean he isn't slow.

How 'bout when I broke the plate? He didn't hear that either.

- So it still don't mean he ain't slow. - He beat Michael at checkers.

Where is the little genius?

They all back there in Thelma's room waiting for his mother.

I just don't know... Hi.

Hey, baby. Hi.

Aunt Flo, did Larry's mother come over yet?

I'm afraid not, Penny. Flo, don't worry.

If push comes to shove, Larry can stay at my place for the night.

Well, there goes my reputation.

I did not mean he was going to spend the night in your room, Mrs. Smart Mouth.

Besides, Penny, he's only 10 years old.

Jailbait. Ooh!

- I don't know what I'm gonna do with her. - Hey, where's my suitcase at?

J.J., where have you been? It's almost 7:30.

I was just saying good-bye to some friends. Who?

- Debby, Kathy, Carol, Sue... - Stop, J.J.

That's what all my girls say also.

Mrs. Evans, can I have a drink of water?

Oh, sure, sweetheart. Larry, this is my friend Willona. Hello.

- And her daughter Penny. - Hi.

- Hi. - Larry?

- Larry! - Huh?

Did you finish playing checkers?

Checkers? Oh, yeah. Now we're all playing smut.

Smut?

What in the world is smut?

Flo, smut is a card game. Something like that game... What's the name of it?

Dirty hearts. Dirty hearts. Except the loser...

gets flour or something thrown in his face if he loses.

Then how come Larry's face is clean?

Does this answer your question?

Well, come on, y'all. Break time's over.

Okay, but we're not gonna play smut again, are we?

Nah. Now we're gonna play knuckles.

You wanna play knuckles? Come on in here.

I tell you something. If that child is slow,

Ben Vereen can't boogie.

Hey, y'all, I'm leaving.

Oh, J.J., now listen.

When you get to your Aunt Lillie's,

you give her a big hug and a kiss for me, okay?

Okay, Ma, I will.

And tell her to send me my $5.00 she owe me.

Oh, and, J.J., when you get to be a big-time comic artist,

don't forget to draw a superhero that looks like me.

Right. And put me in a sexy costume.

Uh, right. And feel free to make any changes that might be necessary.

Okay. Uh, good-bye, Penny. Good-bye, Willona. Good-bye, Ma.

Bye. Bye.

Oh, J.J.! Don't forget your portfolio.

Oh, thanks, Ma. Good-bye, Ma. Good-bye, Penny. Good-bye, Willona.

Bye. You be careful now. Bye. Good-bye, John-Boy.

Oh, get out of here. Oh!

That crazy...

Oh, Willona, I really hope he makes it this time. Ah, so do I.

Hey, he forgot some of his drawings.

No, no, that's something that Larry drew earlier. Pretty good, huh?

Yeah. But why'd he put J.J.'s face on Mr. America's body?

I don't know. He must've... J.J.'s face!

Oh, my God! He took the wrong drawings! Cool it, Flo. Take it easy.

The Bionic Woman will take care of this. Hurry up, Willona.

Oh! Oh!

What is it, a raid?

Oh, those stairs is murder on my support hose.

Are you Larry's mother?

What's left of her, yeah.

But if this ain't enough for ya,

I think some more of me's layin' back there on them stairs.

Our elevator's out of order.

After that climb, so am I.

- I'll go tell Larry you're here. - Come on in.

Okay. Come in the kitchen with me, I'll get you a cup of coffee.

Oh, that sounds nice. Thank you.

But how come y'all got to live so high up?

Closer to God.

Well, I ain't about to argue with that.

And I guess I oughta thank you for breaking up the fight that Larry got into.

You know, it seems like the other kids is

always pickin' on him for somethin' or other.

Well, I think it's more to it than that.

You know, me and my husband was thinkin' about takin' him outta public school...

so he could be around other kids like him.

- I don't think that's the right thing to do. - Me neither.

Not when I saw how much it cost. The boy really ain't all that bad.

Larry isn't bad at all.

Uh, Mrs. Baker,

have you ever thought about having his hearing tested?

- His hearing? - Yeah.

I watched him all afternoon. He really

isn't any slower than any of the other kids.

As a matter of fact, he beat one of my boys playing checkers.

So?

You don't understand.

There are three things that just can't happen in this life...

Walk barefooted on water,

out-smile Donny and Marie...

or beat my son Michael at checkers.

I know where you comin' from. But you got to understand,

Larry doesn't have that many friends.

So naturally, he spends a lot of time to himself.

And over a period of years, he's gotten very good at games.

All kinds of games... Checkers, chess, cards...

Smut.

Especially smut.

But what's all this got to do with his hearin'?

I think he has a hearing problem.

Oh, no.

I'm serious, Mrs. Baker.

Haven't you ever noticed how he holds his head...

and how you have to call his name over and over?

Of course I notice! The boy don't care. Oh!

Honey, he's in a world of his own.

But as far as his hearing goes, he can hear just as good as you or me.

And I've been watchin' over him just a little longer than you have.

Mrs. Baker, please... I'm sorry. I don't mean no offense, Mrs. Evans.

But I got a tendency just to get a little bit

uptight when a bus driver starts diagnosing my son.

Now, you forget the bus driver.

How about a concerned mother of two sons?

Look, honey, I know more about raisin' children than you do.

I happen to have six of my own. And you are not Larry's mother.

I know I'm not Larry's mother or any of the other kids on that bus.

But when I'm driving them, I worry about them just as if they were my own.

I can't turn my back on one,

especially when I see that he has a problem. What...

Hi, Mama. Oh... Oh... Oh, hi, baby.

You ready to go? Yeah. Bye, Mrs. Evans.

Bye, sweetheart. Bye, everybody.

Bye-bye. See ya later. Mrs. Baker?

Maybe the school could have his hearing tested...

What does it take to get through to you?

Just a minute. Just a minute.

- Larry. - Yes, Mama?

Turn around. Larry, can you hear me?

Yeah. What?

Case closed.

Of course he can hear you if you yell at him.

I never said the child was totally deaf.

You haven't said that much of anythin', if you wanna know the truth.

Mama, can I go in the elevator? Yes. Yes, honey.

Now you saw him answer me from the front and from the back.

So there's no other way that I can prove it to you. He can hear!

Only if you yell at him, which is most of the time.

Thank you for the coffee and the 17-floor climb.

Let's go. Lar... Where did he go?

Oh, my God! The elevator. And it's not working! Larry! Larry!

- Larry! - Larry, listen to me.

Don't move. Don't step back!

Larry! Larry!

Be sure to join us next week for the conclusion.

♪ Keepin' your head above water ♪

♪ Makin' a wave when you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs ♪ ♪ Good times ♪

♪ Easy credit rip-offs ♪ ♪ Good times ♪

♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪

♪ Good times ♪♪ Good Times was videotaped before a studio audience.