Original subtitles

* Good times *

* Any time You meet a payment *

* Good times *

* Any time You need a friend *

* Good times *

* Any time you're Out from under *

* Not gettin' hassled Not gettin' hustled *

* Keepin' your head Above water *

* Makin' a wave When you can *

* Temporary layoffs *

* Good Times *

* Easy credit Ripoffs *

* Good times *

* Scratchin' And survivin' *

* Good times *

* Hangin' in A chow line *

* Good times *

* Ain't we lucky We got 'em *

* Good times *

Uh...

We got choked.

You're gonna choke. Stab yourself.

Hang!

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

...on the floor.

Come on.

Michael...how many times have I told you

about eating Thelma's cooking?

PENNY: What was it, Michael?

Die. Live and Let Die.

What?

Michael, I said "die."

No, sugar, you said "live."

Penny said "let."

I said--

Nobody said die.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

[FEUDING CONTINUES]

Well, well, well.

Hello there, Mrs. Bookman.

Hello, J.J.

May I speak with my husband, please?

Uh, Mr. Bookman isn't here.

Not here? No.

But he said he'd be here.

He said he had to unclog your kitchen sink.

Mrs. Bookman, our sink's not clogged.

Yeah, even if it was, Bookman wouldn't fix it.

We would.

My dear, anyone can use Drano.

Yeah, but around here

we got something more powerful than Drano.

All we do is hang Thelma's picture over the drain,

and the clog runs away.

We call it Thelmo.

Yes, and when it's really clogged up,

we have to use the snake,

so we send J.J. down there personally.

[SNEERS] Aah! Batface!

So, you have no idea where Nathan is?

Uh-uh. But we'll give him a message

if we see him.

Yeah, what should we tell him?

Tell him...

[WAILING]

Uh, how do we spell that?

Mrs. Bookman, what's wrong?

I can't tell you.

It's too personal, too intimate,

too painful.

Well, if you want it that way...

Well, it started about a month ago.

Nathan started going out almost every evening.

He told me he was working,

but he's never where he's supposed to be.

So I guess the answer's obvious.

My Nathan is seeing another woman!

[SOBBING PITEOUSLY]

Ha-ha. Another woman?

I can't imagine seeing Bookman with another woman.

Another buffalo.

Um...Mrs. Bookman,

what J.J. meant was, you know,

Mr. Bookman with another woman...

that's impossible.

Then why did he tell me he was coming here tonight?

And why did he leave the house without his tool belt?

I've never known him to work without it.

He even wore it on our honeymoon.

[LAUGHS]

Well, um, maybe he just took in a movie, you know?

Yeah, even Bookman needs a change in his daily routine.

He gets tired of sleeping all day.

Bookman doesn't go to the movies.

He says they don't stimulate him intellectually.

Intellectually?

Hold on, we talking about the same Mr. Bookman?

It's all my fault.

I'm just not Nathan's equal

when it comes to the brains department.

After all, a man gets tired of coming home

to just a beautiful face and figure every day.

You mean Mr. Bookman was married before?

J.J. Uh, Mrs. Bookman,

I'm sure there's an explanation.

I mean...I just can't imagine Bookman

with another woman on the side.

Don't be too sure of yourself.

There's more to Nathan than meets the eye.

If there was any more to Mr. Bookman,

he'd be the 51st state.

Well, when Mr. Bookman comes home,

he can explain the whole thing to you,

and all your worries will be over.

Sweet Thelma... you're probably right.

Nathan cheat on me?

Never.

Oh, I feel so much better.

Thank you so much, everyone.

Hi, Vi. Hi.

Girl, there's so many things

that need to be done around here.

Where is Booger?

[WAILING]

What is she crying about?

I always call him Booger.

Hi, Mama.

Hi, baby. What's going on?

What's happening with Mrs. Bookman?

She thinks Mr. Bookman has a chick on the side.

What?

Whatever that is.

Willona, Bookman's been sneaking out lately,

and Mrs. Bookman thinks he's seeing another woman.

Oh, no!

Seeing another woman.

Bookman and another woman!

Lord have mercy!

I'll believe that

when I see Reverend Ike ride the bus.

[LAUGHTER]

Can you imagine any woman in her right mind

going out with Bookman? Nope.

Can you imagine--

Oh, now, wait a minute. Wait a minute, now.

Me, being the emperor of ecstasy...

The connoisseur of amour...

I think Bookman is attracted

to someone directly opposite of him.

Directly opposite of Booger?

Lord!

You know what?

Then Booger is going out

with a skinny, hardworking

white woman.

Now, wait a minute.

Just because a man is sneaking out at night

doesn't mean he's cheating on his wife.

You're right.

Ain't no point in accusing nobody falsely.

Y'all remember Ray, my ex-husband?

Oh, yeah, Ray.

He used to go out at night.

I wasn't worried.

I wasn't confused.

I trusted him.

You want to know what he was really doing?

What? Seein' another woman.

Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness.

J.J., we just cannot let Mrs. Bookman go through that.

Why don't we ask Mr. Bookman where he goes?

Oh, no, honey. It's dangerous.

Asking a dude if he got another woman on the side?

[SNIGGERS]

He could go berserk and go upside your head.

Or break your face. That's what I mean.

Or rip off your lips.

So who's gonna ask him?

[LAUGHING]

Mama, do I have to go next door?

I told you that Bookman and I

have a little talk to do today,

and it's kind of personal.

Are you gonna ask him if he has a girlfriend?

Oh, I'm gonna ask him,

but not just like that, bluntly.

You know what I mean?

It wouldn't be nice.

Then how are you gonna do it?

Well, I'm going to be clever.

I'm gonna use tact... and psychology.

The same kind of psychology

I used to discover that you were the one

that ate the last piece of blueberry pie.

Oh, you're gonna open his mouth and see if his teeth are purple.

You ain't funny. Get out.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Go on, get your game and go.

Say hi and goodbye, young lady.

All right.

Hi, Penny.

Sorry I can't stay, Mr. Bookman,

but I got to go to the Evans'

so Mama can talk personal with you.

Well, Miss Woods,

what is this life-and-death emergency

that can't wait for me to put you on my list?

Oh, there was no emergency, man.

You mean, you're wasting my valuable time?

Well, I had to think of something

to get you up here by yourself.

Um, Miss Woods, I got to go.

Oh, come on, baby.

Come on, relax.

Sit down.

We got the whole night ahead of us.

We do? Uh-huh.

You know what?

All these years we've known each other,

we never really talked.

But now all that's gonna change.

It is?

That's why I sent Penny over...to the Evans',

so, you know, we could be by ourselves,

have a little privacy.

I knew I splashed on too much Brut.

Booger... sit down, please.

Relax.

Have a little wine.

A little bit for you...

and a little bit for me.

Uh, Miss Woods. Yeah?

You know, I'm a married man.

I shouldn't be fooling around like this.

Now we're getting somewhere.

Oh, no, we're not.

Miss Woods, look, this may break your heart,

but listen to me, please.

But it's too late for us.

It's only five after 7:00.

I mean it's too late for us to have a fling.

A what?

I can't blame you for trying.

You know, Miss Woods...

In a building full of lonely women,

I guess the janitor is just a sex object.

[STIFLING LAUGHTER]

Of course, if it's any consolation,

if we'd have met 20 years ago...

Get your hands off me, fool!

[LAUGHS]

Don't you have any idea why I asked you up here?

Yeah, like I told you,

in a building full of lonely women...

Ain't nobody that lonely, honey.

I asked you up here, Booger,

because you're my friend

and I'm trying to help save your marriage.

Ain't nothing wrong with my marriage.

When's the last time you looked?

Honey, last night, Mrs. Bookman was knocking on

everybody's door looking for you.

Hey, come on. Violet already hassled me about this.

Don't you do it, Miss Woods.

All Violet wants to know is where you're going every night.

Why don't you tell her

so she can stop climbing the walls, man?

She knows where I am.

There ain't nothing to be upset about.

Yes, there is. Listen, sit down.

The one thing I want-- ah!

Look what you did.

Oh, now, wait a minute.

I can't go out like this!

Good, you ought to stay home sometime.

Look, Miss Woods, do me a favor.

Can you take the stain out?

Oh, you want me to do you a favor?

[LAUGHS]

I'll put you on the list like you do me.

Please?

Oh, okay, okay. Take your pants off.

What?

I said take your pants off.

And where am I supposed to go?

Go into the bathroom,

take off your pants so I can clean 'em.

What you doing wearing your Sunday suit

in the first place?

You a janitor. Don't you know that?

Never mind that, Miss Woods.

Please get the stain out.

I got an appointment in 20 minutes.

What kind of appointment?

Oh, it's not that important.

Well, if it ain't that important,

why are you in such a hurry?

What?

I've got to catch up on some work.

Oh, now, I know that's a lie.

There's a window in that bathroom

that's been sealed up so long

that my daughter thinks it's a painting.

Don't worry. I'll fix it tomorrow.

Hurry up, please.

Tomorrow, tomorrow...

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Lord have mercy.

You got enough...material in these pants here

to make new costumes for the Sylvers.

I tell you, you ought to be ashamed of yourself.

Hi, Willona.

Hi, Vi.

Nathan said he had some work up here.

Where is he?

Well, you know, uh--

BOOKMAN: Hey, hurry up.

I ain't got all night, you know.

Oh, Nathan!

Oh, Violet!

Oh, Lord!

Vi, listen, it's not what it looks like.

You know what happened?

[CHUCKLING AWKWARDLY]

Booger came up,

I gave him a glass of wine, he spilled it on his pants.

I was trying to clean it off.

You got to understand.

Believe--

You don't believe nothing I'm saying.

Talk to her.

Talk to her!

Oh, don't bother to get dressed on my account.

I'm only your wife.

Hey, look, Violet,

this is all one big misunderstanding.

Nathan...every time you look in the mirror,

it's one big misunderstanding.

Vi, Vi, wait a minute.

Vi...I was doing this for you.

I was just trying to help you.

I was trying to find out

where your husband goes at night.

Well, it seems to me it's obvious

where he goes at night.

Obvious?

Vi-- Vi, you think he and me...

Girl, that is ridiculous.

All right.

Where do you go then, Nathan?

Wh-wh-where?

Uh, "Where?" "Where?" Where nothin'. Tell her!

Okay, Violet, you found me out.

I'm seeing Miss Woods.

[SHRIEKING] What?

What are you talking about, sucker?

Vi, he's lying though his teeth, honey.

He's lying. I'm innocent.

Oh, yeah?

Then whose pants was in whose hands?

[STAMMERING]

Hey, Violet, look.

We'll both laugh about this when we get home.

You better start now.

This is as close to home as you're gonna get.

But, Violet. But, Violet...

Your things will be in the hall.

Where am I supposed to sleep?

You can make your home where the buffalo roam.

Well, Buff...

you better talk fast, honey.

Why'd you tell her you were seeing me?

Because I couldn't think of another lie.

You couldn't think of another lie?

How about the truth?

It couldn't be any worse

than what you told her,

as far as I'm concerned!

That's my problem, not yours.

What do you mean, fatso?

You just made it my problem.

Well...what's going on around here?

Either Mrs. Bookman's crying,

or the rats and roaches started yodeling.

J., Violet thinks she knows who the other woman is.

Who?

Me.

What?

Yeah, that's what El Casanova told her.

And she believed him?

Kicked me out. I ain't got no place to stay.

You got that right, honey.

That's too bad, Bookman.

Okay, goodbye.

Hey, wait a minute, J.J.

My man, old buddy.

Lookit here. I don't want you to worry about me

being out in the cold at night,

because as I see it,

I got one or two places I can stay.

Oh, yeah? What's number one?

Number one is the apartment

where the Evans family lives.

No way, Jose.

Bookman, you better come up

with number two.

Number two is the apartment

where the Evans family used to live.

J.J., how long is Bookman gonna be staying here?

I guess until Violet's convinced

that Willona's not his girlfriend.

That could be forever.

Damn, with all his junk laying around here,

don't be surprised

if you find plaster of Paris in your pancakes.

Thelma, the way you cook, it wouldn't make any difference.

Hi.

I see Sleeping Beauty's still...

[SNORES]

...sleeping.

Oh, Willona, it is just awful in here

with that old buffalo snoring and everything,

and all his junk laying around.

Oh, I can't take it anymore.

Let me try.

Booger?

Booger...get up!

Booger...

The house is on fire!

[CRUNCHING]

Food!

Booger...why don't you stop this foolishness

and go on back home?

Don't you miss your wife?

Yeah, I guess I miss her.

So why don't you tell her?

I don't miss her that much.

Whatever you're doing lately,

it can't be too important

that you're jeopardizing your marriage.

Not to mention my reputation.

You know, the word is out

that you and I got something going on.

[SNICKERS] Can you imagine?

I'm getting all these strange phone calls.

Other offers?

No, condolences.

Look, Miss Woods, you know, I hate to put you through this,

but I just can't tell you anything now.

I'm sorry.

Thanks a lot.

Well, Willona, don't say you didn't try.

I'll see y'all later. Okay, baby.

[DOOR CLOSES]

You know, Willona, I had a terrible thought.

Suppose Bookman is not seeing another woman,

but he's doing something illegal.

Illegal?

Like pushing pot?

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

With that belly,

a pot's the only thing he could push.

Wow.

Excuse me,

I was told I could find Nathan Bookman here.

Well, he is here, but he's busy now.

In the meanwhile,

would you like to take a little plunge?

Well, I just stopped by to bring him his sweater.

He left it in my room last night.

He-- H-he-- Wait, wait, wait, wait.

He left this sweater in your room last night?

Well, I think it was last night,

because the night before that,

he wasn't wearing one.

Lord have mercy.

Well, so you're the one he's been seeing?

Of course.

Well...

...just give him his sweater.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Hey, what about some hot water in here?

Somebody should call the janitor.

Hello, Nathan.

Hello, Brenda.

Brenda! What are you doing here?

I brought your sweater.

Oh, well, thanks.

Sorry you can't stay.

Hold it, hold it, honey.

Let's show a little

southern hospitality around here.

Let's get to know her a little better.

I think Violet would like to meet

this young lady here.

No, she really can't stay.

Thank you, but I really must be on my way.

And I'll see you tonight.

One more thing.

Um...

Your mind didn't seem to be on your work

last night, Nathan.

Uh...

I, uh...

I hope you do better by next week.

Yeah, I will, I will.

After all, as your teacher,

I want you to be ready for the test.

Test? What test?

Good Lord, it's late! You got to go!

The high school equivalency test.

Nathan is gonna get his diploma,

aren't you, Nathan?

Yeah.

See you tomorrow, Brenda.

Is that what this is all about?

Oh, Booger, you're getting your high--

Oh, going to night school.

Yeah, what's wrong with going to night school?

And the way that teacher looked,

I wouldn't mind matriculating with her myself.

Mm-hm.

Bookman, why were you afraid to tell your wife?

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

You guys just don't understand.

Oh, you can talk to her.

Will someone tell Mr. Bookman

that the soon-to-be-ex- Mrs. Bookman

is announcing their legal separation?

Hey, Violet, you wouldn't!

I wouldn't?

And I'm getting a Mexican divorce.

You're going to Tijuana?

No. My attorneys are Gomez and Gonzalez.

Don't let her do this, Booger.

Just tell her. Stop her.

Come on, tell her the truth.

Hey, um, Violet, you really want to know

what I've been doing nights?

If you care to tell me.

Go on, go on.

Well, I-I've been, um...

I've, uh...uh...

I've been working as a topless bartender.

Oh!

Why are you acting like that?

Violet. Violet, wait a minute.

Violet, wait.

Are you gonna tell her the truth, man?

Okay, I'll tell you.

Nathan has-- No.

Shut up. I'm gonna tell her.

Nathan has been going to night school

to get his high school diploma.

His high school diploma?

[LAUGHING] Oh.

[ALL LAUGHING]

That's ridiculous!

And even wilder

than Nathan's topless bartender story.

Everyone knows

that Nathan is a college graduate.

Right, Nathan?

Right, Nathan?

Well, Nathan, ain't that what you told me?

I lied.

You lied?

I dropped out of school when I was in the eleventh grade

to go to work.

I've been going to night school.

Well, why did you lie, Nathan?

Because...

Okay. Violet, when I first met you,

I wanted you more than anything in the world.

And when a guy wants something that bad,

he'll do anything to get it.

I found out

that you were impressed by college men,

so I became a college man.

Then why did you decide to go back to school?

The Reverend Jesse Jackson.

I was watching him on one of those talk shows,

and he was talking about Operation PUSH.

I stood there

and I took a long look at myself.

Here I am, 43 years old,

and I ain't accomplished nothing.

I mean, it seemed like it was too late.

But it isn't, Violet.

I'm going back to high school.

I'm gonna get my high school diploma.

And I'm gonna make something out of myself.

Well...now you know the truth.

You can go to Gomez and Gonzalez and get el divorce-o.

Nathan, I'm not getting a divorce.

Why not? I mean--

I married you, after all, under false pretenses.

Nathan, any kid can drop out of high school...

but it takes a real man to go back.

Nathan, I'm prouder of you now

than I've ever been.

[WILLONA CLEARS THROAT]

Oh...dear, sweet Willona...

I'm so terribly sorry for all of this.

Can you forgive me?

Vi, I--

Fine.

Miss Woods, Vi is sorry.

I am too.

Hey, hold on there, bro man.

What about that hot water?

You're supposed to fix that.

Uh, my Nathan...

practically a high school graduate,

doing manual labor?

How dare you!

Coming, Nathan?

[ALL LAUGHING]

* Mmm... *

* Just lookin' Out of the window *

* Watchin' the asphalt grow *

* Thinkin' how It all looks hand-me-down *

* Good times *

* Hey, yeah *

* Good times *

* Keepin' your head Above water *

* Makin' a wave When you can *

* Temporary layoffs *

* Good times *

* Easy credit Ripoffs *

* Good times *

ANNOUNCER: Good Times was videotaped in front of a studio audience.

* Good times *