Original subtitles

* Good Times *

* Anytime You meet a payment *

* Good Times *

* Anytime You feel free *

* Good Times *

* Anytime you're Out from under *

* Not getting hassled Not getting hustled *

* Keeping your head Above water *

* Making a wave when you can *

* Temporary layoffs *

* Good Times *

* Easy credit Rip-offs *

* Good Times *

* Scratching And surviving *

* Good Times *

* Hanging in A chow line *

* Good Times *

* Ain't we lucky we got 'em *

* Good Times *

Well, that's all done.

Hey, Michael, what did you get Penny for Christmas?

Well, Thelma, I was going to get her a Betsy Wetsy doll,

but when I got up to the counter

I didn't have the guts to ask for it.

Michael, what did you end up getting Penny?

A dump truck.

Michael, come on, now.

No, Thelma, I'm just kidding.

I got her the doll. See? [KNOCK ON DOOR]

Aw... Betsy Wetsy.

Who is it?

PENNY: It's me.

Oh... Oh, well, hide all this stuff.

I don't want her to see her presents, okay?

Yeah. Um-- Oh, here's good.

Michael, not in the oven!

Michael!

All right.

Hi, Penny.

Hi, everybody.

Hi, Penny.

Well, Penny, what's happening these days?

Oh, nothing much.

Just Mom and I going Christmas shopping.

Oh.

Looking for something?

Uh, I might have lost something when I was over here yesterday.

Oh, yeah? What'd you lose?

I'm not sure until I find it.

Penny, you wouldn't be snooping around,

trying to see your presents, would you?

Who, me? Yeah.

Don't be silly.

Oh, I dropped my purse.

Penny, it won't do any good.

You'll just have to wait until Christmas Eve.

I'll try, but it won't be easy.

Well...

* Deck the halls With boughs of holly *

* Fa la la la la La la la la *

* The Ebony Prince Is here, by golly *

* Fa la la la la La la la la *

J.J., did you get the tree?

Does Rudolph have a red nose?

He got the tree.

Right here. All right.

J.J., man, it's a good thing

you got this thing off the street.

You would have been arrested for indecent exposure.

Michael, this tree was in great shape

before I got it on the bus.

It got into one of those tree fights over there.

A tree fight?

Well, J.J., you should have brought home the winner.

Michael, this is the winner.

Well, uh...

maybe some decorations will help.

Hey, I got an idea.

Listen, everybody.

What do you think Mama needs for Christmas?

Hmm.

What about the new album by Donna Summers?

Do you think she would like that?

No, but I sure would.

THELMA: Hey, I just baked some cookies

and I have some left over, and I--

No, Thelma. You're gonna give the tree a hernia.

J.J., get outta here.

Ah, go ahead.

Oh, that looks nice--

Assault with a deadly cookie.

I've saved some money,

but I want to get Mama

something really special.

How much you got?

Ten dollars and fifty cents.

Oh... Ten dollars and fifty cents?

Yep.

You mean, you saved up all that money

by your little itty-bitty self?

I sure did. Wow.

Well, lay some of that cash on me.

I'm busted.

Will you keep your paws off her money?

Hi, y'all.

MICHAEL: Hi, Willona.

Okay, are you ready to go shopping, baby?

Yes, Mama. Okay.

But promise me you won't peek while I do my shopping.

Child, I am too pooped to peek.

The Christmas rush at the boutique

has been simply out of mind.

Honey, listen,

ladies are pushing and shoving

and screaming and kicking

and yelling and pulling hair,

and that's just in the restroom.

Excuse me, honey.

What is this?

Willona, that is our Christmas tree.

I've seen mop handles

with more leaves on it than that, J.J.

Come on, baby. You ready to go?

Yeah. All right.

Hey, Thelma.

Either you got the presents in the refrigerator,

or you're gift-wrapping the food.

Presents? What presents?

J.J., get out of there!

Come on!

Just what I always wanted.

A Betsy Wetsy doll

with icicles in her drawers.

Ooh, I didn't hear anything.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Who "knocketh"?

It's Tiny Tim.

Greetings of the season.

Hey, J.J., how you doing?

You can knock it off, Bookman.

Knock it off.

Okay, what do you want, ham hocks?

Oh, Ms. Woods, um...

the you-know-what just arrived

from you-know-where for you-know-who.

For me?

How'd she find out?

Booga!

Was there anything else I can do for you warm folks

in this generous, warm season?

Uh-oh, J.J. Bookman's being nice.

He must expect something.

Yeah, Bookman's expecting a green Christmas.

I'm appalled.

I mean the thought of a Christmas bonus

never entered my mind.

Oh, I'm glad, honey,

'cause it never entered our minds either.

Hey, the word's out on the street

that you guys are giving a Christmas Eve party.

That's right, Bookman.

I guess I'm gonna be all alone.

Why?

Aren't you spending it with Mrs. Bookman?

That is spending it alone.

You see, Penny,

Mrs. Bookman's going to spend Christmas with her mother.

See, my mother-in-law and I don't get along at all.

She's never forgiven me for stealing her only daughter,

and I've never forgiven her for letting me steal her.

It sounds like I'm listening to a soap opera,

As the Booga Turns.

Of course you can come to the party.

Goody, goody, goody.

Come on, darling.

Oh, Mr. Bookman?

Yes, Penny.

After we're gone,

could you bring up the you-know-what

from the you-know-where for the you-know-who?

Thanks a lot, Scrooge.

[HOLIDAY MUSIC PLAYING]

Okay, we can start over here.

But Mama, you promised to let me shop by myself.

Okay, baby.

Now, listen, we'll both do our shopping

and meet back here in one hour,

and if you miss me,

get a cab and come on home, okay?

Here's your car fare.

Penny?

Yes, Mama?

I love you.

This is the happiest Christmas ever.

Me too.

[RINGING] Oh, look.

Oh, look, baby, there's Santa Claus.

Hi, Santa.

My name is Penny.

Hello, Penny.

And my name is Lenny...

and I got some reindeer

named Donner and Blitzen and Benny.

I wish you joy and I wish you cheer.

Have a cool yule and a mellow New Year.

Would you like some gifts to hang in your stocking?

I take Mastercharge and validate parking.

Oh, Lenny, why don't you go climb a chimney?

Okay, I'll meet you in one hour, okay?

Okay. Okay. Bye-bye.

Can I help you, Miss?

Oh, "Miss"? Is that me?

Look, it's been a long day.

Did you want to see something?

Yes.

What?

About $10.50 worth,

for the best mama in the whole world.

Ten dollars and fifty cents' worth.

What's her size?

About this high and this wide,

and about this far out.

I'm sorry I asked.

Oh, wait a minute.

This little heart on a chain.

Can I see that?

Oh, this is our last one.

It's beautiful.

How much is it?

You're in luck. Ten dollars.

She'll love it.

I'll take it.

Oh, excuse me.

That'll be $10.50.

Do you want it gift-wrapped?

No. I'll do it myself. Okay.

My purse! It's gone!

Well, maybe you left it at home.

I had it here a minute ago, and now it's gone.

Oh, sure you did.

I did. Honestly!

Oh.

Well, maybe somebody did take it.

At Christmas time,

the pickpockets come out of the woodwork.

All my money was in there!

What am I gonna do?

I'm sorry, honey, really, I am, you know?

Next.

Can I help you?

Hey, J.J.,

you got that bike together yet?

J.J.: All together, Michael.

All together.

Yes, sir.

Whoo-hoo!

Hey, J.J., look at that bike.

Michael, what's wrong with it?

What's wrong with it?

Are you sure you didn't get it

from the same place you got that tree?

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

That must be Penny. Come on.

Put this bike away. Hurry up.

And fix the seat right, man.

THELMA: You okay?

Yeah, I got it.

Hello, again.

Hi. Mrs. Dobbs.

Come on in.

Michael, you remember Mrs. Dobbs

from the Department of Children and Family Services?

Oh, sure. How are your corns?

Michael...

you don't ask people about their corns.

Oh, that's all right.

Actually, they're much better.

Now they only hurt when I walk.

Um, you're here to see Willona and Penny, right?

Yes.

The probationary period is nearly up,

and now the Department

is considering the final adoption.

Oh!

Willona is a great mother.

Yeah, so you can make the adoption final right now.

Well, I do have to make out my report, K.K.

Uh, that's J.J.

Well, it's only one letter away.

Oh, I certainly hope that Ms. Woods gets home early.

I have a meeting tonight.

Corn Sufferers Anonymous.

Corn Sufferers Anonymous?

Yes, it's a club I belong to,

and if any member gets a corn attack,

why, they call other members,

and then they all come over,

and we--we--we try on each other's shoes...

until the pain goes away.

Well, um, I'll make you some coffee, okay?

Thank you.

Hi.

Oh, Mrs. Dobbs!

What are you doing here?

Well, I just thought it was time

to make an honest woman of you, Ms. Woods.

Oh, well, not that you're not honest.

I mean, it's time to make Penny legitimate.

Not that she's not legitimate.

I mean, it's-- it's final adoption time.

Final adoption time! Outta sight! Where's Penny?

We thought she was with you.

I told her if we got mixed up in the store to come on home.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Oh, that's probably her now.

Let me get on over there, see what's happening.

Penny, where you been? I been waiting for you.

Sorry I couldn't meet you.

Oh, hi, Mrs. Dobbs.

Hello, sweetheart.

Can I help you?

Are you the little girl's mother?

Yes, I am.

Well, I'm sorry to tell you this,

but this young lady's been picked up...

for shoplifting.

I won't do it again, Mama. I promise.

I just wanted to get you that present

more than anything.

Oh, Penny,

there'll be no more excuses.

You did a very wrong thing.

It's a good thing the department store left it in my hands.

I'm sorry.

Go home and wait for me.

I have a lot of talking to do to you when I get there.

I'm just glad

I don't have to spend Christmas in the slammer.

Kids, I want to talk to Mrs. Dobbs alone.

Do you mind?

Of course not, Willona.

We gotta put Penny's bike together anyway.

Forget about the bike.

She won't get it for Christmas.

After I learned how to read all those instructions in Japanese?

J.J., it's important I talk to Mrs. Dobbs.

All right, all right. "Saranara."

Mrs. Dobbs, hope you don't think I'm being too rough on her,

but she has to be punished.

Well, I'm afraid

the problem is more serious than that.

What do you mean?

The child is stealing.

But I'm punishing her for it.

I told you I was punishing her for it.

Well, that's good. That's very good.

Parental discipline is very important.

Uh, Ms. Woods...

Uh, may I call you Willona?

I feel that with my dropping in here twice a month,

we've become very good friends.

Yeah, call me Willona.

Willona, I feel this is the wrong environment for Penny.

Mrs. Dobbs,

how can you pop in here twice a month

and tell me you think this is the wrong environment for Penny?

There is nothing wrong with this environment.

Well, maybe things have gotten a little bit out of control.

Things have not gotten out of control!

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

This is the first time anything like this happened.

Penny has never stolen before,

and she won't do it again, I promise you that.

Well, I'm sorry too, Willona, but I've got my instructions.

I'm afraid

this puts a different light on the adoption.

Oh, Mrs. Dobbs, please don't say that.

I'm afraid that the department would want further investigation

before I can recommend the final adoption.

Mrs. Dobbs...

look, why don't you do this:

why don't you come to our Christmas Eve Party?

Then you can see what a warm and loving environment

this really is, okay?

Well, maybe I could do that.

Oh, thanks.

Hey, by the way, what is your first name?

Hortense.

But don't tell anybody.

Not even my husband.

You mean your husband

doesn't even know your first name?

I told him it was Carlotta.

Our marriage needs all the romance it can get.

Well, Merry Christmas.

Yeah.

Merry Christmas.

Could I have another cup

of that delicious egg nog?

Oh, sure, Mrs. Dobbs.

Here you go.

A fresh one.

Hey, you better watch out.

Don't let that egg nog sneak up on you.

Sneak up?

I think it's passing me.

Would you believe that my mother wanted me to be a ballerina?

[HUMMING]

You know, in our school play,

I was the only Sugarplum fairy

wearing Dr. Scholls.

Well...

peace on earth, good will toward feet.

Well, it looks like Mrs. Dobbs

is having a lot of fun.

What does it matter? Tomorrow when her head clears up

she'll remember about the adoption.

I might even lose Penny.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Ho, ho, ho, Penny!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas, Santa.

Come in and join the party.

I don't know, Penny. I don't have that much time.

I got to get back to the North Pole.

My elves are waiting for me:

Grumpy, Sneezy, and Leroy.

Those are dwarfs.

Dwarfs, elves, whatever.

All I know is they keep biting me on the knee.

Ho, ho, ho!

Ho, ho, ho!

What a great-looking tree you got here.

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

I couldn't have picked out a better tree myself.

It's an honor leaving presents under this tree.

Ho, ho, ho!

Penny, you're a lucky little girl

to have Santa Claus come to your party.

It's really J.J.

Oh.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Ho, ho, ho!

Merry Christmas, Penny!

Merry Christmas, Santa.

I came all the way from the North Pole,

and I'm hungry.

Do you have any food for me and my reindeer?

Do your reindeers eat clam dip?

No, but the Santa do.

You see, Penny?

Santa came to your party after all.

It's really Mr. Buffalo Butt.

Oh.

Is there no enchantment left in children?

Hey, Santa, can I ask you a favor?

Yeah, sure. What is it?

You know, when I was a little kid,

my mother never took me to see Santa Claus,

and I've always had this secret longing.

Can I sit in your lap?

And me end up with a fractured lap?

Mrs. Dobbs, can I talk to you now?

Merry Christmas.

Fill her up.

Unleaded.

This is the most delicious negg nog--

yegg yog-- negg yog--

It's...

It's...

one hell of a drink you're serving here.

Well, I'm glad

you like it there, Mrs. Dobbs.

Oh...

call me Carlotta.

You know, I'm having such a wonderful time.

I feel like singing.

Well, go ahead. Be my guest.

I am your guest.

Unless I'm at the wrong party.

Uh, attention, everyone.

Carlotta would like to sing a little song here!

All right!

Do you have a piano?

No, we sent those out to be dry cleaned.

Well, I'll just have to sing Acapulco.

Go ahead and wail, mama.

* On the first day of Christmas My true love sent to me *

* A partridge in a pear tree *

* On the second day of Christmas My true love sent to me *

* Two turtle necks *

* And a partridge In a pear tree *

* On the 12th day Of April *

* My true love Sent to me *

* Twelve string bikinis Ten panties hosing *

* Three orthopedic shoes *

* Four turtle soups... *

No, that's...

* Three turtle soups... *

No...

* Two surtle toups... *

Oh, wait a minute.

I would never eat a turtle.

* And a peartridge In a par tree *

And they say,

"Where is all the new talent coming from?"

I'm so glad you like the classics, K.K.

Well!

I see my Christmas present doth call.

Mrs. Dobbs, come on.

Let's have a little private talk here.

A little talk? Yeah, over here.

What about? About Penny.

Oh, what about Penny?

You've seen her environment.

It's full of love and fun and good vibes.

Are you going to let me keep her?

Well, I don't know.

One Christmas party does not an adoption make.

I see.

Tell me something, Mrs. Dobbs.

Do the people

down at the Family and Children Services

know that you can really belt out a song?

Oh, good heavens, no.

Oh, no.

That Department is so...

Oh, how can I say it?

Conservative?

No, stuffy.

They frown on any kind of frivolity.

Oh, do they?

What would you say if I told you

I had a tape recorder going?

A tape recorder? Mm-hmm.

That tapes things? Yes.

Oh, you wouldn't.

Oh, yes, I would, to every supervisor in your department.

Should I play it back for you now

so you can hear what it will sound like to them?

* Two turtle doves Five... *

Willona...

Willona, stifle it.

Since I couldn't get you a Christmas present,

well, I made you something.

What?

Thank you.

It's the same as the one I was going to buy you,

only it's made out of paper.

Oh, Penny, it's priceless.

It's just what I wanted, baby.

Um, Hortense, can I talk to you a minute?

Look, I've got something I got to tell you.

There's no tape recorder.

I couldn't play anything for the department.

And even if I could,

I couldn't stoop to anything that underhanded.

It's not my style.

Oh, I see.

Well, Willona, there's something that I want to tell you too.

After being here tonight

and seeing all the fun and the love and the good vibes,

well, I'd already made up my mind

to recommend the final adoption.

Oh!

Mama, did she say "final adoption"?

That's what she said.

You mean we're each other's forever?

Forever and ever!

That's the best Christmas present

in the whole world!

Mrs. Dobbs, what can I do to thank you?

You can get off my corns.

Oh, come on!

Merry Christmas, everybody!

* We wish you A merry Christmas *

* We wish you A merry Christmas *

* We wish you A merry Christmas *

* And a happy New Year *

* One more time *

* We wish you A Merry Christmas... *

[***]

* Just lookin' Out of the window *

* Watchin' the asphalt grow *

* Thinkin' how It all looks hand-me-down *

* Good times * * Hey, yeah *

* Good times *

* Keepin' your head Above water *

* Makin' a wave When you can *

* Temporary layoffs *

* Good times *

* Easy credit Ripoffs *

* Good times *

ANNOUNCER: Good Times was videotaped in front of a studio audience.

* Good times *