Original subtitles

* Good times Any time you meet a payment *

* Good times Any time you need a friend *

* Good times *

* Any time You're out from under *

* Not gettin' hassled Not gettin' hustled *

* Keepin' your head Above water *

* Makin' a wave when you can *

* Temporary layoffs Good times *

* Easy credit rip-offs Good times *

* Scratchin' and survivin' Good times *

* Hangin' in a chow line Good times *

* Ain't we lucky we got 'em *

* Good times *

All right. I found a basket for the lunch.

Oh, come on, you call that a basket?

You can't put no food in there.

Thelma, this here box was able to hold 24 cans of ALPO.

Now, you know it ought to hold whatever you cook.

Are you sure we'd rather be going to the game

than sitting at home, watching it on TV?

Are you kidding, Penny?

There's nothing like going to a football game in person.

But it's freezing outside, and the seats are hard,

and the people are always jumping up so you can't see.

And they're always dripping mustard

on you from their hot dogs.

So why are we going?

Yeah, why arewe going?

It's a great game. And besides,

there are two good teams playing:

The Chicago Bears and the Detroit Lions.

How come they name football teams after animals?

Honey, have you ever seen

what they do to each other on that field?

Punching each other, scratching, kicking, pulling hair.

I ain't seen nothing like that since last night on the bus.

Well...

I got 'em, Mr. Miguel.

Six football tickets smack-dab on the 50-yard line.

All right! Yay!

Yeah. And, Thelma, make sure you make plenty of food there.

Uh...since when did you start liking my cooking?

Not me, Thelma. It's for the Detroit Lions.

See, while they're holding their stomachs on the ground,

Chicago Bears be running all over.

J.J., since we have six tickets, and there are only five of us,

can I call a date to come along?

No, no, Mr. Miguel. Uh, I already invited

a young lady I've been trying to get next to,

by the name of Boom-Boom Belinda.

Mama, why do they call her Boom-Boom?

Oh, because she works in a cannonball factory,

you know, boom-boom.

Boom, doom, doop!

Hey, y'all. Did y'all know that Fishbone's back

in the old neighborhood?

You mean Fishbone's back here?

Who's Fishbone?

Well, let me put it this way, Penny.

In wine country, they have a plaque up to him:

"To Fishbone the wino, with love and gratitude."

Oh, he has a drinking problem.

Uh, yeah. His problem is he can never get enough to drink.

Hey, J.J., who told you that?

Old Campbell the cop. Told me old Fishbone was out

in the middle of Rush Street with his red underwear on,

directing traffic, waiting for his underwear to turn green.

Well, are we all packed up and ready to go?

Yeah, and don't forget you all are having dinner

with the Ebony Prince today.

J.J., maybe you know.

How come they name football teams after animals?

Because nobody would wanna go see

the Chicago Lilacs play the Detroit Petunias.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Whoo!

Fishbone, you old sea dog!

Where you been? What you been doing?

Working, working, boy. Yes, yes.

Come in here.

I got-- I got a regular job now.

How long you been working steady?

What time is it?

Ten o'clock.

One hour. Sixty minutes, yes.

Yeah... I'm delivering free samples.

Oh, yeah? Well, come on in and deliver.

Yeah, yeah.

I was working for-- I was delivering mouthwash--

Outfit yesterday, but you know,

that only lasted a couple hours,

and then... well, I got fired.

Fishbone, why did you get fired?

Well, I-- Well, I found out that the mouthwash

contained two-percent alcohol.

Whoo!

I never felt so bad and smelled so good in all my life!

Um, Fishbone, what you giving away now?

Well, it's something new here. It's called, uh...

Soup-in-a-Sack. Here you go.

All you do is add alcohol. I mean water.

Yeah. It's foolproof.

Oh, we need something better than that.

We need something that's Thelma-proof.

Penny, why don't you and Gramps go make some hot chocolate.

'Kay?

Fishbone, what you doing?

Girl, I'm loading you folks up with soup,

because it's good for you, I like you, it's free,

and I'm too tired to knock on any more doors.

Fishbone, now, come on, you can't fool us.

We've been knowing you too long.

What is the matter?

Well, well... I had a birthday the other day.

Oh, that's it! Happy birthday! Aw, happy birthday!

Yeah, we didn't know that.

Yeah, well, didn't nobody else know either.

I even sent myself a card, and it never arrived.

You know, it made me realize, I've lived half my life,

and I don't have a friend in the world.

That's ridiculous.

That's right. You're a bon vivant,

the man about town,

a connoisseur of the grape.

Yeah, and if nobody remembers you on my birthday,

how they gonna remember you when you're gone?

Oh, come on, now. Who could ever forget you?

Now, Bookman likes you.

He lets you sleep down by the furnace when it's cold.

Oh, yeah, but even he forgot to say those three little words:

"Happy. Birth. Day."

I tell you, it is a terrible world without friends.

Oh, come on now, Fishbone.

Now, you have some friends.

Yeah, what about Ray the bartender?

Him?

[BLOWS RASPBERRY]

I give him all my business, and what does he do?

Turns right around, makes me wash dishes all week.

And all-- And all over nothing.

I don't think throwing a bottle

through the front window is nothing.

Well, did you ever wake up in the middle of the night

and find yourself locked up in a bar?

I had to throw that bottle to get out of there.

I was late for a meeting with my colleagues

at Alcoholics Am-no-nomonous.

You know we are your friends.

In fact, you are practically like one of the family.

That's right. Too bad you wasn't over here a little earlier,

you could've had breakfast with us.

Well, you mean y'all would think enough of me

to invite me over for a hot-cooked meal?

Any time.

Well, in that case, I'll be over here tonight for dinner.

Oh, wait, wait, uh, Fishbone.

You see, tonight would not be the best night.

Not a good night, because we were getting ready to go out--

Oh. Oh, I see. Yeah, y'all busy.

Okay, well, I can understand.

I don't like a lot of people around me no way.

You know, I'm used to being alone. I can understand.

Yeah, some other time. Okay, Fishbone?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some other time.

Hope you understand.

Oh, of course. Sure, I understand.

Well... Well, we blew that one.

Yeah, poor Fishbone.

He's feeling sorry for himself again

because he has no friends.

He's got friends:

the Ripple Brothers...

Paul Masson...

Manischewitz.

You know, maybe we should've

changed our plans a little

and come back here for dinner.

You really think so, Willona?

Good friends would have.

Hoo!

[COUGHS]

Hey, Raymond... Yes.

Another round for me and my partner. I'm buying.

Of course.

Oh, thank you, stranger.

Don't think nothing of it.

Ooh!

[MUMBLING]

You know...

Huh? Make it quick.

You been so nice to me,

I'm gonna give you a little stock tip.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Shh.

See, my broker is E.F. Hutton.

And E.F. Hutton says...

How'bout that. Nobody even looked around!

[BOTH LAUGH]

Fishbone, would you do me a favor?

What is it?

I gotta go in the back for a minute.

Would you keep an eye on the place for me?

Yeah, sure, man. Good.

And, uh, to show you where my heart is,

the house is buying the next round.

All right.

You know, your friend sure is a nice guy.

Well, he's all right.

But if he was such a friend of ours,

he would've give us something good,

instead of this rotgut we're drinking.

[LAUGHING]

Whoo! Lord, have mercy--

Look here, partner. Watch the store.

I got to go to the sandbox.

Okay.

* Whew, straighten up and fly right *

* Straighten up And stay right, yeah *

Mmm, well...

J.J., it doesn't look like he's in here.

Oh, wow, that's weird.

I thought for sure he'd be in here drinking his lunch.

Oh, man, just to think I gave up a date with

Boom-Boom Belinda for this.

Hey, Ray!

Uh, by any chance, you happen to see Fishbone?

He was here just a minute ago.

[TIRES SCREECHING]

Well, we have to find him because J.J. has an extra ticket

for the Bears game, and we wanna take him with us.

Yeah, sort of like a belated birthday present.

Well, he's gotta be around here somewhere.

You know, Fishbone would not leave

unless he had too many for the road.

Hey, check this out!

[BOTH]: What's going on?

J.J.: Hey, there's an accident! Somebody's hurt realbad.

Coming through. Coming through.

Hey, Ray, gotta use your phone. Gotta call the precinct.

I'm calling an ambulance right now.

Forget it.

That old geezer out there got nailed by a truck.

He ain't gonna use an ambulance or nothing else.

He got killed?

You see this wallet here? Well, he's flatter than this.

Yeah.

Officer Campbell calling.

We've got a traffic fatality down here at 2526 Duquesne.

Yeah.

Ah, the victim's name is, uh, Theodosius P. Johnson.

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, I'll be here.

Theodosius P. Johnson.

Does anybody know who that is?

[CROWD MURMURING INDISTINCTLY]

We all know who he is. But we call him Fishbone.

[IN UNISON] Fishbone?

Fishbone was killed?

Oh, wow. Coming through.

I don't believe that.

J.J., that's horrible!

Oh, wow.

And just this morning he was saying,

if nobody remembered his birthday,

nobody would remember him when he was gone.

And now poor Fishbone's dead.

Oh, that's terrible.

Well, I-- Well, I'm dead.

Ain't no use to worry about it no more.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, here's to me. May I rest in peace.

Whoo!

Mama. Hmm?

If Fishbone's in heaven,

do you think they made him

an angel by now?

I hope so, honey.

Just in case, I'm gonna

God-bless him tonight.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Well is he is in heaven,

I hope they don't arrest him for drunken flying.

I wish we could all just stop talking about all this,

because I am depressed as I can be.

Hi, folks.

Correction. I just got even more depressed.

Booger, what you got in the suitcase, your lunch?

No, I found this down in the furnace room,

where old Fishbone used to sleep.

I guess it belonged to him.

Oh, wow, Fishbone's estate.

Wow. Maybe we'll find out

a little bit more about Fishbone now.

What's all this stuff?

This sure is a wrinkled, old picture.

Oh, look at this nice old couple.

Maybe they were close friends of Fishbone's.

Look. Let me see that.

Yeah, they were close to Fishbone, all right.

This is Ernest and Julio Gallo.

[ALL LAUGH]

Oh, wow. Check out this foxy mama.

Sweet brown sugar.

She's beautiful. I wonder who she is.

Probably the lady in Fishbone's life.

Oh, how romantic.

She probably drove him to drink.

You got it, Thelma. It's his sister.

This might be important. It's a clipping.

About a baseball player named Rabbit Johnson,

who was third baseman in the Negro League.

You mean Fishbone was an athlete?

We don't know that.

There's a lot of folks named Johnson.

Anyway, the date on this clipping is 1946.

That's just a year before Jackie Robinson

joined the Dodgers.

Wow, Mama, that's ancient.

You can remember way back then?

I just, uh, happened to read it yesterday.

What's gonna happen to Fishbone now?

They'll probably bury him

in some unmarked grave somewhere.

Well, then he was right.

Nobody will remember him.

No, Michael, he was wrong.

Wewill remember him.

But how, J.J.? Funerals are expensive.

Wait a minute, now. Take it easy. If we all chip in,

we could handle one of Ferguson's no-frills funerals.

No-frills funerals?

You know what that's like.

No flowers, no organ, no chapel...no coffin.

They just put you in a brown paper sack

and mail you to Cleveland.

Well, we ain't gonna have no paper bag for Fishbone.

We gonna do this thing up right

so he'll always be remembered--

Hey, I got it. I got it! A down-home wake!

A wake! That's a great idea!

[ALL CHATTING INDISTINCTLY]

[WAILING]

J.J... I got here as soon as I heard.

Oh, Wanda, that's so nice of you to come.

I wouldn't miss it for the world. Poor Harry!

Fishbone, Wanda. Fishbone.

Well, whoever.

[SOBBING]

Oh, Wanda, what lovely roses.

Oh, these are beautiful.

And what an appropriate message. Success.

Well, if you don't mind, honey, I want to use 'em again.

I'm going to another funeral.

Hey, what you got there? I'll take that.

Some more of Fishbone's belongings?

No, that's Fishbone. [SHRIEKS]

Since it's his wake,

Ferguson figured he ought to be here.

Yeah, I guess Fishbone would have liked it like that.

[SOBS]

Say, blood My name is Lenny

And if I ain't got it There ain't any

Though we came here To weep

I got something You can keep

Now, it ain't a horse And it ain't a rhino.

It's just a memento To Fishbone the wino.

Okay, everybody, let's get the ceremony started.

Come on. Sit down, everybody.

Fill the back rows up there.

J.J.: Everybody sit down. Let's get on with it.

Okay, now. Here we go.

I wonder who she is?

Oh! I knew there was a woman in Fishbone's life.

Oh...

Oh, and she must have loved him so very much.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Ah...brothers and sisters--

[CRYING]

Uh, later, Wanda. Later.

Oh.

Brothers and sisters,

I have prepared a few extemporary words

for this occasion that I thought would not

hold us here very long,

which would come to a conclusion of the situation.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Brothers and sisters, we are gathered here

because of our dear friend,

and through the courtesy of Ray the bartender.

All right.

And we are here to pay tribute to our dear friend and comrade,

Fishbone.

[CROWD CHATTERING]

We are here to pay tribute to a man

who left a special mark in our hearts and in our souls.

I didn't know Harry did that.

Fishbone. Fishbone.

Oh, yeah.

[WAILING]

Uh, later, Wanda. Later.

You see, Fishbone was a modest and humble man.

Humble man.

He never spoke of himself.

But when he passed beyond the reef,

we were able to puzzle together a few parts of his life.

Yeah! Yes we did!

Poor Fishbone was born too soon...

and died too soon.

Now, Wanda!

[WAILING]

[CRYING LOUDLY]

Cool it, mama!

I'm working this wake.

[WAILING]

And then there was the woman in Fishbone's life.

[IN UNISON] Yeah...

J.J.: Yes, the woman. Mmmm-hmmm...

Yes. A love affair that was unrivaled

in passion and fervor.

That's right! One that rivaled that of Caesar and Cleopatra.

Anthony and Cleopatra!

Leroy and Cleopatra!

[IN UNISON] Leroy?

And, brothers and sisters, weep as you may,

because at the end, Fishbone did not die a happy man.

No, he didn't. Because we have a problem.

What we do is when somebody is down here in the green pasture,

we do not tell them how much we love them.

We wait for them to go up to the heavenly gates

before we sing their praises.

And brothers and sisters, let me tell you something.

This is your fault!

Oh, Harry, I'm sorry!

Fishbone! Fishbone!

Fishbone, I'm sorry! Well, whoever.

And also it is my fault. That's right, it is my fault.

Because we must tell someone when they are down here

how much we love them, how much we need them.

Now if we knew that we were going to die the next day,

we would go immediately to the telephone

and call our loved ones.

Which reminds me of a story.

Suppose we were to get to the telephone booth,

and find out we did not have a dime?!

We would be up the telephone booth without a paddle.

That's right!

So, Fishbone, we want to say, in conclusion, that we miss you.

ALL: We miss you!

We need you. We need you!

We love you. We love you!

And I hope you can hear us, Fishbone.

I hope you can hear us now, Fishbone.

Hear me good, Fishbone!

[SCREAMS]

Oww!

Yes!

What is this?

ALL: Fishbone!

He's alive! He's alive!

Wait a minute. Wait one minute.

How dare you be alive!

Does that mean we can't go to the cemetery?

I closed my place down for nothing!

You know I got a good mind to lock you up

for impersonating a corpse!

Yeah, Fishbone, you owe us an explanation.

How could you play on our emotions like this, Fishbone?

You can't play with us like that!

[ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

Hold it, hold it. Ho-ho-ho-ho!

Hold it. Hold it.

Now, just back off, everybody.

Now, what is this all about, anyway?

Love, right?

That's what J.J. just got through preaching about,

telling people that you love 'em before it's too late.

So tell me!

I was good enough for you when I'm dead.

Now I'm alive. I'm here.

So tell me you love me!

Tell me! Tell me you love me.

Love you, Fishbone.

* I hear one little voice In the wind *

* I hear one little voice In the wind *

* Can I get another? *

Yes, I'm a witness. I love you!

Yes, can I hear another? Can I get another?

I love you, Fishbone!

Clap your hands, everybody!

[ALL SINGING] * Fishbone, we love you! Fishbone, we love you! *

* Fishbone, we love you! Fishbone, we love you! *

*Fishbone, we love you! *

Yes, and Fishbone loves you, too!

* Fishbone, we love you * Woo-hoo!

* Fishbone, we love you! * Yes, yes!

One more time!

* Fishbone, we love you! Fishbone, we love you! *

Fishbone! As long as you live,

don't you ever die on us like that again.

I sure won't, Miss Malone-- Miss-- Waa!

I can't even say your name!

That's all right.

Love you so much, I can't say your name.

I know.

You know, 'cause a man gets a funeral like this

only oncein a lifetime.

[IN UNISON] Fishbone, we love you! Fishbone, we love you!

[***]

[HUMMING THEME]

* Just looking out Of the window *

* Watching the asphalt grow *

* Thinking how it all looks Hand-me-down *

* Good times Good times *

* Keepin' your head Above water *

* Makin' a wave when you can *

* Temporary layoffs Good times *

* Easy credit rip-offs Good times... *

ANNOUNCER: Good Times is videotaped in front of a studio audience.

* Good times *