All language subtitles for G.T.S05E06.Willona.the.Fuzz.540p.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-squalor_track3_[eng]

* Good times *

* Any time
You meet a payment *

* Good times *

* Any time
You need a friend *

* Good times *

* Any time
You're out from under *

* Not gettin' hassled
Not gettin' hustled *

* Keepin' your head
Above water *

* Makin' a wave
When you can *

* Temporary layoffs *

* Good times *

* Easy credit
Rip-offs *

* Good times *

* Scratchin'
And survivin' *

* Good times *

* Hangin'
In a chow line *

* Good times *

* Ain't we lucky
We got 'em *

* Good times *

...for all, I do not go out
on blind dates.

I know we've been out before,

but in my book,
you are still a blind date.

Why?

Because you are cheap.

Cheap, cheap, cheap!

Nobody orders pizza
with nothin' on it.

Hey, wait a minute.

And remember, you still owe me
for that Egg McMuffin. Ha-ha.

Oh, yes, you do.
Bye, Clarence.

You know, Thelma, I thought
it was cold outside,

till I walked in here

and heard you talkin'
to that cat on the phone.

Michael, what happened
to your coat?

Well, let's just say
I donated it

to someone less fortunate
than me.

Michael, you gave away
your good winter coat?

Well...
Not exactly, Thelma.

It got ripped off.

Um...who is this person
less fortunate than you?

The sucker who did
the rippin' off.

'Cause when I catch up
with him,

not only will he be
minus my coat

but I'm-a kick out
his two front teeth.

Aw, Michael,
that's terrible.

You're gonna catch pneumonia
out here without a coat.

Yeah, I know. But you know
we can't afford it.

What happened to all that money
you made workin' after school?

Well, some of it
I used for lunches,

and some of it I used to help
buy Ma's wedding present.

And the rest, I spent it
on Cindy Thompson.

Ah, well, you're gonna
have to forget about

that little Cindy Thompson
for now.

Hey, now wait
a minute, Thelma.

I ain't got
no winter coat now.

I gotta keep warm
somehow.

Here's the mail.

J.J., all these bills.

Gas bills, phone bills,
electric bills. Oh.

Thelma, just pay
the heat bill.

My nose feels
like an icicle.

If I blew it, I'll tear
my handkerchief.

I think the three of us
better have a meeting

so we can get together
and discuss our finances.

Finances?

[LAUGHS]

We don't have any,
Thelma.

Meeting adjourned.

Yeah, Thelma,
don't get all uptight.

If you need some money,
I'll just write out a check.

J.J., we don't have
any money in the bank.

That never bothered Burt Lance.

J.J., you got your paycheck,
right. Where is it?

Right here
on my arm, girl.

I got myself one of them
computer watches.

Look here, Michael.

This watch tells the day,
the minute, the second.

And it even adds, multiplies,
divides and subtracts.

And I got one of them
double readouts here.

J.J., Michael's coat
got ripped-off today

and he needs a new one.

These bill collectors
are down our backs

and you're gonna waste
your money on that.

Thelma, I'm the only one
at the advertisin' office

without a watch.

Every time the boss ask
what time it is,

everybody else looks
on their wrist.

Me, I gotta go downstairs
22 flights on an elevator,

go around the corner,
stand in front of the bank,

wait for the temperature
to finish...

Fahrenheit and Celsius.

Go back upstairs 22 flights,
sit down at my desk,

tell the boss,
"It's 11:10,"

and the boss say,
"Wrong. It's 11:30."

Hi, everybody.

Look what I won
for figure skating.

That's marvelous!
That's great!

J.J.:
That's wonderful!

My coach said I did
a perfect figure eight.

Oh, good.
Oh, yeah?

One day, I'll show you how
to skate it the hard way.

Two fours.

[LAUGHS]

Hi, everybody.

THELMA:
Hi, Willona.

Come on, gimme some sugar.

Mm. Was you
a good girl today?

Uh-huh.
Guess what.

I got a guess what too.

Me first.
Go ahead.

I won this
for figure skating.

Junior division.

Oh, I like
your guess what.

And just for that,
I'm gonna buy you

a brand-new
ice-skating outfit.

And I'm gonna pay for it
with my guess what.

What happened, Willona?

Honey, I got me a bonus.

Dig this.

Willona Woods, Sherlock Holmes'
younger, darker sister,

caught herself a professional
shoplifter today.

Was it dangerous,
Willona?

Honey, it happened so fast,
I couldn't even think.

You know, I was leavin'
the boutique section

on the way to a break,

and suddenly, this pregnant
woman ran out the store,

and I got suspicious.

Willona, what's so suspicious
about a pregnant woman?

Honey, the chick
was 83 years old.

I notified the store detectives,
and they went outside.

And, honey,
before you could say Kojak,

that woman gave birth
to a 7-pound alligator purse.

[LAUGHS]
[LAUGHS]

Oh, that ain't funny though.

You know, shoplifting has become
an epidemic in this country.

Yeah, and who ends up
paying for it?

We do.
Through higher prices.

Honey, but check out
who they catchin'.

Doctors, businessmen and
children from wealthy families,

you just name it.

Willona,
they can't help it,

they're kleptomaniacs.
Hmph.

Well, they been helpin'
themselves to plenty.

And they're called
grabomaniacs.

Like the one who stole
your coat today, Michael.

Oh, Gramps, honey,
that's cold.

Yeah, I was too.

Hey, now listen. I know
you're not gonna believe me,

but the department store
I work in, we have

our own live-in shoplifter.
Willona--

Yes, I'm tellin' you the truth.
His name is Lenny the Looter.

And every Christmas,

Lenny sends all the employees
Christmas cards

he ripped off during
Thanksgiving. Ain't that gold.

Willona, how much
of a bonus did you get?

Honey, $50.

MICHAEL: Whoa.
Fifty dollars.

And that ain't all.

Mr. Rogers, head of Security,

offered me a job
as a store detective.

Oh, boy.
Willona, the fuzz.

[MICHAEL LAUGHS]

You didn't accept it,
Willona, did you?

Ah, no, but I sure thought
about it a long time.

It would mean a big raise
and I sure could use the money.

I don't see anything wrong with
protecting the merchandise.

Honey, I'm all for that.

But they wanted me
to sit behind a two-way mirror

in the dressing room
and do a little observing.

What kind of observing,
Willona?

Well, sit there and watch people
tryin' on clothes and--

Couldn't see me now.

And make sure they don't rip
nothin' off from the store.

Willona, that's
an invasion of privacy.

Yeah, they call it protection,
but I call it dirty pool.

[CHUCKLES]

That is why I told them there
are two things Willona don't do.

I don't do windows
and, honey, I don't spy.

Don't spy.

Right on, Willona.

If some stranger would be

lookin' at me get undressed,

they better have
a good reason.

And a strong stomach.

J.J., we gotta get together,
and see what we can do

about gettin' Gramps a coat.
Now, I got that $50--

That's all right. We don't
need your money. It's okay.

Hold it, honey.
Now, listen.

They ain't no way in this world
I'm gonna let Gramps go out

in this cold weather
without a winter coat.

Willona, we--
We just can't take your money.

I mean, if it means working
at another job and...

24 hours a day, I...

I guess Thelma and Michael
just gonna have to do it.

I have some money
in my piggy bank you can have.

Money in your piggy ba--?
Money in her piggy bank.

You hear that, Thelma?

[LAUGHS]

How much you got?

Aw, that was sweet,
baby. Come on.

Uh, J.J., would you mind
goin' down to the store for me?

I'm gonna make
a special spaghetti tonight,

and I forgot one thing:
the spaghetti.

Look here, Thelma. That's like
asking a condemned man

to go get his own rope.

Um, Mike would you go for me?

Nah, I'm goin' up
to Cindy Thompson's apartment.

Oh, come on.
You're goin' up--

You're goin' up
there again?

Just keeping warm, Thelma.

Just keeping warm.

Thelma, go. I'll put the water
for the spaghetti.

Okay, thank you, Willona.
Okeydokey.

Don't forget to take the meat
balls out the refrigerator.

In the refrigerator?

The child got the meat balls
in the freezer.

And they say I can't cook.

Willona.
Huh.

How come Michael has to go up
to Cindy's to keep warm?

Uh...'cause you'll find out
when you get older.

Oh, then it has something
to do with sex, huh?

Now, why would you
say that?

Well, anything I have to wait
to find out until I'm older

either has to do with
the world situation or sex.

And knowing Cindy Thompson,

I don't think
it's the world situation.

Whoo. Ho-ho.

You get over there
and set that table.

Penny, I'm so proud of you
winnin' that skatin' trophy.

I wish I was there
to see you.

I bet you were
terrific.

Terrific?
Uh-huh.

I was--
Dy-no-mite.

Whoo. All right.

Mr. Davis said
he wouldn't be surprised

if they picked me
for the Olympics someday.

Olympics.
Are you serious?

Mr. Davis said what I need now
is to take lessons

from another coach,
a top pro,

one who's trained
other Olympic champions.

Nothin' but the best
for my Penny.

Honey, we'll get
you one.

Mr. Davis said these lessons
would cost money.

Mm-hm.
A half-hour lesson is about $10,

and I'll need
two a week.

Two a week.
Uh-huh.

Whew...you did say
two a week?

Right.

Well, ah,
that's not too bad.

That's only...$80 a month.

And Mr. Davis said--

No, never mind
what Mr. Davis said, honey.

Hey, listen. How do you
really feel about it?

I love to skate.

I wish I could spend
half of the day on ice

and the other half with you.

But we can't afford it,
can we?

Well, not on the money
I make, honey.

But you sure love that
ice-skatin', don't you?

More than anything,
Mama.

What'd you say?

More than anything.

I mean that last word.

Mama?

Mama.

That sounded so good,
I had to hear you say it twice.

Now, you know what you do,

you tell Mr. Davis
that your mama said

he can arrange
for those lessons.

But we can't
afford it, can we?

Now, don't you worry
about nothin'.

Just take
this gold cup here,

and go home and put it
on our trophy shelf.

What trophy shelf?

The one we starting
right now.

Okay.
[LAUGHS]

[DIALING]

Mr. Rogers in Security,
please.

Willona Woods.

About that job
you offered me.

You know, the one observing
that I turned down?

Well, I changed my mind,
honey.

I now do windows,
and peep through 'em too.

[CHUCKLES]

Yeah, okay.
Thank you. Bye-bye.

Heh. Welcome aboard, Woods.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Rogers.

Uh, tell me, Woods, what
prompted you to change your mind

and join us here
on the Security team?

Well, uh,
being a woman, I said,

"Willona, that job
is definitely not for you."

Huh?
But being the mother of a child

who needs lessons
I can't afford, I said,

"Don't listen to that woman,
honey, take the job."

You made a wise decision,
Woods.

[SIGHS]

According to the dossier
I have on you here--

Y-you, uh...have
a file on me?

On everyone.

Says here you're alert,
observant, loyal, trustworthy.

Hmm.
Uh-huh.

And in
the employees' restroom,

when I wash my hands,

I never use two paper towels
when one will do.

[LAUGHS]

You can put that
in your dossier.

It's already in there.

Now, I think
you'll be wanting to know

a little bit more about the job
that you'll be doing:

preventing inventory
shrinkage.

I beg your pardon?

Shoplifting.
Oh.

Gotta be on your toes,
Woods. On your toes.

You see, there's no
outstanding characteristic

that identifies a shoplifter.

No. Hm-hm. Oh, no.

They come in all different
shapes and sizes.

Like Lootin' Lenny.

Lootin' Lenny...

You get a Christmas card too?

Every year.

I wouldn't want this
to get around, Woods,

but in a strange sort of way,
I...I like Lenny.

He's loyal.

Gives us all his business.

Uh, Johnson, will you
step in here, please?

Johnson'll be your supervisor.

You just report right to her.

Johnson, meet Woods.

Newest member
of our Security team.

Woods, Johnson.
How are you?

I want you to show her
all the ropes.

Certainly, Mr. Rogers.

If you'll come with me.
Hold it, Woods.

Don't forget our motto.

WILLONA:
Motto?

Yeah. "When they snatch 'em,
we catch 'em."

Ha-ha.

J.J., what are
you doin' home?

I'm on my lunch break.
Where's Miguel?

He's in the bedroom.

Well, check this out.

Oh...

J.J., you got
Michael a coat.

How'd you do it?

Well, I calculated
in my head

what I couldn't calculate
on my watch.

and I came up
to the conclusion

that my little brother
was more important

than the correct time.

So I took the watch back
and got him the coat.

Oh, J.J.,
I'm so proud of you.

Thelma, my lunch
ready yet, gal?

Not yet.

Mr. Miguel.

Wha--?
Ha-ha.

Guess what J.J.
did for you.

Hey, J.J.--
Man, you took back your watch?

I appreciate it, man.

You know, you're the best
big brother there is.

J.J., I'm makin' a sandwich for
me and Michael. You want one?

Thelma, just a minute ago,
I was a hero.

Now you're tryin' to bury me
next to the Unknown Soldier.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

I'll get it.

S'up, Bookman.

Hey. I just want
you folks to know

if you hear any
suspicious noises

coming from Miss Woods'
apartment, it's only me.

What kind of noises?

I'm fixin' her shower.

That's suspicious,
all right.

Hey, I resent that.

For one thing, I'm a very
conscientious worker.

Number two, Nathan Bookman takes
very good care of his tenants.

And besides,
Miss Woods slipped me 5.

Willona's been goin' crazy,
since she got that bonus.

I don't know nothing
about a bonus.

She told me she had a new job.
What new job?

Oh, Willona must have taken
that position with Security.

You mean, watching
women undress?

That's awful.
That's terrible.

But if she ever
miss a day,

I'll be glad
to take her place.

Hey, what's this about
watching women get undressed?

I wonder why Willona did it.

She was so against it
last night.

Yeah. Well, you know, I talked
to my political science teacher,

and he thinks it's a violation
of the Fourth Amendment,

the right for the people to be
secure in their own persons.

Yeah, but what about
watching women get undressed?

Bookman,
will you calm down?

Anyway, you know some security
guards are not even policemen?

They can arrest you without even
readin' you your rights.

And some of them can hold you
for as long as they want

before they call the cops.

Yeah, but I wanna know about
watchin' women get undressed.

Bookman, shame on you.

Now, unless you fix that shower
and get on out of here,

I'm gonna tell
Mrs. Buffalo Butt on you.

I wonder why Willona
took that job.

Yeah, she probably
really needed the money.

And I know why.

You know, Willona knows
I don't have a winter coat.

Oh, yeah, Michael.
And you know how

she feels about you.
Yeah.

I guess one of us ought to go
down to the store

and tell her
she doesn't have to do it.

Well, I can't do that 'cause
I have an exam this afternoon.

Yeah, J.J., and I got
a basketball game.

Well, I don't like the way
this election was rigged, but...

I'll do it myself...
at great personal sacrifice.

I won't eat Thelma's lunch.

Woods.

What are you doing?

I'm just checkin'.
She-she can't see us.

Heh. Now, if you observe
anybody sticking an extra bra

in their bra or in any way
confiscating merchandise

you are to call me immediately
on that hot line.

Yeah.

[SCOFFS]

Honey, you ain't gonna make it,
even with a shoe horn.

No sense pulling
it in front,

it's just gonna
come out the back.

Well, I have to
leave you now.

Good luck, Woods.
Yeah.

Damn.

I'm sorry, young man,
but you can't see her.

Miss Woods
is on assignment.

She won't be available
for, oh, about an hour.

An hour.
But I'm on my lunch break.

I gotta be back to work
by then.

I'm sorry, lad, but you
don't seem to understand.

Rules are rules.
I run a tight ship here.

So did the captain
of the Titanic.

Say, blood,
what you think you doin'?

What?

Look, man, find yourself
another store.

This is my domain.

Who are you?

I'm Lootin' Lenny.

And when you buy from Lenny
You save yourself a good penny.

For the last-minute gift

Be it wedding, graduation
Or bar mitzvah

Lenny won't let you wear it
Unless it fits ya.

And no extra charge
for the gift wrappin'.

Uh, look here, bro.
I'm a little busy right now.

You got
a business card?

Look here, blood.
I don't have any just now.

But I'll be passin'
the stationery store

on my afternoon run.

I'll send you one.

You called me?
What is it, Woods?

Miss Johnson, I've been
sitting here for three hours

watching people dress
and undress, and...

I don't think
I can hack it.

Just first-day jitters,
Woods.

We all go through it.

Couple of days,
it won't even bother you.

That's what
I'm afraid of.

[SCOFFS]

Why don't you break and get
a breath of fresh air.

Fresh air,
that's just what I need.

It's me.

You don't have to
do this anymore.

Michael's already
got a coat.

It's me.

It's J.J.
Check it out.

You don't have to do this.
Come on out of there.

Everything's fine.

Who are you?

Uh...don't you
recognize me?

I'm Pam Grier.

Ooh.

Whoo. Huh, am I glad
you weren't here, Woods.

Why, what happened?
Some skinny pervert

dressed in women's clothing
was banging on the mirror

and yelling
all kinds of weird things.

Hmm, in a place like this,
that doesn't surprise me.

Ha. How was the fresh air?

Well, it cleared my head,
got me to thinkin'.

I got to thinkin' about
all the people

that were paradin'
in front of me.

What do you mean?

Like the college student
that came in this mornin'

to try on a skirt and
had on torn underwear.

She probably dressed in a hurry.
Thought that was her secret.

Now, what right did I have
to watch her?

It is the store policy--

And then there was a nun
that came here to try on a slip.

Now, what she had
under her habit

was a private affair
between her and God.

Don't you think you're getting
a little carried away?

Well, not far enough.

How about the skinny lady
with the falsies?

Now, if her hairdresser doesn't
know for sure, why should I?

Woods, your job
is to catch shoplifters.

That is just the point
I'm tryin' to make.

Not one of those ladies
were shoplifters.

And neither am I.

Now, I put myself on
the other side of that mirror.

I don't have on underwear that's
torn, and I don't wear falsies.

And if I did,
that would be my business.

Now, when I go home to undress,
I pull down the shade.

'Cause I don't want nobody
watchin' me there.

And I don't want nobody
watchin' me here.

Woods...

Now, Woods, now, listen--
Johnson...

How would you like it
if somebody was watchin' you?

Woods, I am going to pretend
that I did not hear any of that.

Now, you sit down there

and you do the job
that you are being paid for.

[DOOR SLAMS]

This is the pits.

But turnin' away ain't gonna
solve nothin'. Ain't gonna--

Hey, hey, hey.

That's shopliftin'.

Miss Johns--
Mr. Na--

Hey. Hey, you're the one

that makes it rough
on everybody else.

Hey, fool.

You wanna end up
in jail.

Put them blouses down,
and get out of here like a--

Girl, you better hurry up
and get out of here.

How's it goin', Woods?

Great.

Why did you let
that woman go?

What woman?

The woman that was trying
to steal the blouses.

Wait-- You mean,
you were watchin' me?

On the closed-circuit TV.

Ain't that a blip.

The watcher's bein' watched.

Can't trust anybody,
as you just demonstrated.

Why did you let her go?

Let's say I just
couldn't help myself.

Because, you see,
this spy business makes me sick.

I don't get it, Woods.

I understand you took this job
because you needed extra money

for lessons
for your little girl.

You realize what you've done
means you're fired.

I realize my daughter's lessons
will have to wait.

'Cause I couldn't look at myself
in a one-way mirror.

And what I did, honey--

You can't fire me,
'cause I quit.

Huh. I knew you weren't
Security material.

All right,
now, ladies.
Mr. Rogers.

This is
a ladies' dressing room.

Oh, my goodness...

Mr. Rogers, I'm sorry,
but I had to fire Woods.

I do the hiring and firing
around here, Johnson.

You asked me
to keep an eye on her.

Yeah, well, I've been
keeping my eye on you.

And I think I'm beginning
to get some idea

why we can't keep any people
in Security anymore.

You had me under
observation, Mr. Rogers?

Oh...

How do you like that.

The watchers of the watchers
are bein' watched. Ha-ha.

Ahem. Why don't you ladies
step into my office

and we'll talk this out.

MAN [OVER SPEAKER]:
This is the vice president
of Personnel speaking.

Will all you people
please come to my office.

[***]

* Mmm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm *

* Just lookin'
Out of the window *

* Watchin' the asphalt grow *

* Thinkin' how
It all looks hand-me-down *

* Good times *
* Hey, yeah *

* Good times *

* Keepin' your head
Above water *

* Makin' a wave
When you can *

* Temporary layoffs *

* Good times *

* Easy credit
Rip-offs *

* Good times *

ANNOUNCER:
Good Times was videotaped
in front of a studio audience.

* Good times *