Original subtitles

* Good times *

* Any time You meet a payment *

* Good times *

* Any time You need a friend *

* Good times *

* Any time You're out from under *

* Not gettin' hassled Not gettin' hustled *

* Keepin' your head Above water *

* Makin' a wave When you can *

* Temporary layoffs *

* Good times *

* Easy credit Ripoffs *

* Good times *

* Scratchin' And survivin' *

* Good times *

* Hangin' In a chow line *

* Good times *

* Ain't we lucky We got 'em? *

* Good times *

[LAUGHING]

Well, thanks for dinner, Paul.

I just love Chinese food.

Oh, see, I really got lucky with my fortune cookie,

didn't I?

I mean, I gotta have this thing framed.

"He who reaches out will attain passionate romance."

But remember what mine said:

"He who reaches out will attain fat lip."

[BOTH LAUGH]

Uh, would you like to come in?

Well, if you're sure

we're not gonna be waking anybody up.

No, we have the living room to ourselves.

Well, great.

I'll turn on the light, okay?

Okay. All right.

Just keep talking

I'll follow the sound of your voice.

Okay, you're getting warmer.

Is this warm enough, cupcake?

Hey! What's going on here?

Man, what is this madness?

Hey, come on now!

J.J., what are you doing here?

Who are you?

I'm cupcake, who are you?

Hey, what's going on here?

Who's that?

Who are you?

Paul, these are my brothers.

Thelma, I thought you told me...

Oh, J.J., Michael, what are you doing out here?

We're not sleeping, that's for sure.

Gimme, J.J. I'm gettin' out.

Hey, Michael.

Come back here with those blankets, man.

I feel like a naked chicken out here.

Well, chicken, here are your feathers!

Hey, what's your problem?

J.J., you and Michael have your own room now.

Why aren't you in it?

'Cause Penny's sleeping in there.

We're babysittin' for Willona.

You could have let Penny sleep in my room.

Look here, Thelma.

Now, Penny's goin' through her formative years.

If the first thing she was to see

in the morning was your face,

the girl would be ruined for life.

Look, maybe I just better leave, okay?

But wait a minute, Paul, don't leave.

This is ridiculous.

Don't leave right now.

It does my heart good to see young people in love.

Welcome to the family, bro.

J.J., what are you talking about?

I just wanna make sure Paul's intentions are honorable.

This is just our first date!

Oh, so that's your plan, huh?

Take young ladies to their own apartment

and love 'em and leave 'em.

Do I look like I'd do something like that to Thelma?

Oh, so Thelma's not good enough for you, huh?

Thelma? Um, Paul,

I think it's time for you to go.

Will you call?

Would you?

J.J., are you crazy?

This is the third time you've pulled a stunt like that

since Ma's been away.

Thelma, you're better off.

You didn't need him.

The man was all hands.

J.J., would you mind your own business?

You are not my father! [KNOCKING]

Hey, look here, Thelma.

I'm the oldest, I'm looking out for your well-being--

[BOTH ARGUE]

Isn't anyone gonna answer the door?

Now look what you did.

You woke Penny up.

I woke her up?

You're the one who started this thing first.

And look, you're invading my privacy.

Look here, girl. You're invading the planet

with that old ugly Martian face of yours.

[KNOCKING]

Speaking of invasions,

we've just been invaded by a buffalo butt.

Very funny.

Look, the neighbors are complaining

about some noise coming from this apartment.

They can't sleep.

So they call on me. Now I can't sleep.

And if I can't sleep, Mrs. Bookman can't sleep.

And when Mrs. Bookman can't sleep, she gets mean.

When I say mean, I mean, mean as "Mean" Joe Greene.

Mr. Bookman?

Yes, Penny.

Does Mrs. Bookman know you're wearing her clothes?

And look, what's going on around here?

This is a family matter, it doesn't concern you,

so butt out! Wait a minute--

Hold on, let me handle this. Let me handle this.

Now, see, Bookman is not no ordinary janitor.

This man's a scholar.

He's beyond the normal realm of human being.

This man's a janitorial engineer

and he should be treated like one.

Butt out, rhino rump!

See, Thelma, it's now whatyou say,

it's howyou say it.

That's why Ma left me in charge.

Ma didn't leave you in charge.

You have taken charge--

That's right, 'cause I'm the oldest--

Quiet!

Michael's trying to sleep.

Ooh, I'm sorry I'm late.

What a night we had at the store.

We're taking inventory, you know.

We kept on coming up with this extra coat.

And after two and a half hours of searching,

we discovered it was mine.

Penny, what are you doing up this late at night?

Well, I was asleep,

but then Thelma came home with her boyfriend

and he ended up in bed with J.J...

who he called cupcake,

which made Thelma throw a pillow at him

because, see, he and Michael were supposed to sleep

in her room tonight.

Then J.J. threw the boyfriend out

and that made Thelma real mad at J.J.

'cause he's not her father.

And then rhino rump came in mad

'cause he's married to Mean Joe Greene

and that's the name of that tune.

Willona, let me explain.

Mm-hmm See,

being the head of the house--

As head of nothin'. J.J., I'm tired of the way

you trying to run things around here!

Me? What did I do wrong?

Well, for one thing,

you're always screening my boyfriends.

Telling me how to run my life.

Complaining about my cooking.

Strutting around like some dumb peacock,

and just making it miserable for me!

Yeah, but what did I do wrong?

Kids, do you know what time it is?

Let us talk about this tomorrow,

in the morning.

J.J., you better stop bossing me around!

Look here, Thelma, I'm the oldest

and Ma left me in charge.

And if you don't like it, you know what you can do.

Yeah, I know what I can do,

and that's exactly what I'm gonna do,

I'm gonna do it!

Hey, hey, hey! [BOTH YELLING]

Hold it! Hold it!

Hold it! [CONTINUING YELLING]

Come on, Penny, come on. You go on home.

Go home and get in the bed.

Here.

Aw, Willona, do I have to? Yes, you do.

Turn on the television set and I'll be right home, okay?

But this is better than TV.

Penny, come on. You go home.

Out of here.

Go on, all right?

Okay, okay, Penny's gone. Now, Thelma,

we have some talking to do.

Well, pardon moi.

I have more important things to attend to.

Okay, Thelma, come on. Tell me what this is all about.

Willona, J.J. is just impossible.

Oh, now, Thelma. You know J.J.

He's hard on the outside, but he's like a little

mushy paper inside. You know that.

I always said that about his brain.

J.J., get outta there!

Does a king leave his castle?

Willona, you see what I mean?

Has Hurricane Thelma blown over yet?

Yeah.

You can get back in the bed now.

Where is Gramps?

You get out of my bed.

Doesn't anybody get any sleep around here?

Thelma, you're upset.

J.J., you're not helping matters any.

Can we talk about it in the morning, okay?

Okay, I'll go to sleep and we'll talk about it in the morning.

Good.

And then I am moving out!

[DOOR SLAMS]

Hey, good morning, everybody.

Hi, Willona. How's it going?

Real fine, real fine.

Heh-heh-heh. Where's Thelma?

She's still sleeping.

This late?

Don't wake her up, Willona.

I'm trying to eat breakfast here.

She may want to come in here and cook.

Thelma?

That's strange. She's not in there.

She's not?

Oh, Willona, she probably just went for a walk.

She'll be back.

Thelma, where were you, honey?

Oh, I was out thinking about what happened last night.

I was thinking about it too.

And I'm thinking that perhaps your moving out is a good idea.

You do?

Mm-hmm, but on the other hand,

you are young, you got your whole future.

Right.

Then again, on the other hand,

kids do grow up quicker these days.

Exactly.

But then again,

you do have some kind of family obligation.

Hear! Hear!

Then again, on the other hand,

Thelma needs her space, and the freedom to grow.

Amen.

But on the other hand--

Willona, you got more hands than that dude

who came over here last night.

J.J., will you get off my case?

Now, Willona, what do you really think, huh?

Well, I really think that you are ready, and dependable

and capable enough to make your own decisions.

If you feel in your heart you need a place of your own,

then, honey, God bless.

Oh, thank you, Willona!

But on the other hand-- Willona!

Come on. I'll help you find an apartment.

Willona, I already found one.

Hold on, there, girl.

As executive chief of this family,

I got to veto that vote

on the grounds that unleashing you upon mankind

in Americana

will constitute cruel and unusual punishment.

Overruled!

Hey, Thelma,

what's your place look like?

Oh, Michael, it's perfect.

It's right near campus so I can walk to school,

and one of my roommates is a girl in my dance class,

and do you know,

my share of the rent is only 50 bucks.

Oh, hey, that's reasonable.

When you plannin' on moving? The first of the month?

[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]

Uh, not exactly, Willona.

What you mean, "Not exactly, Willona"?

Uh, I'm moving in today.

What?

Well, Willona, this is it. What do you think?

Well, it reminds me of home.

The elevator's broken, and it's dirty.

Oh, Willona, wait till you see inside.

Hi

Oh, I'm sorry,

we must have the wrong apartment.

Uh-uh. This is Alvin

Oh, hi, Alvin.

We still got the wrong apartment.

No, no, no. Alvin is one of my roommates.

One of your roommates?

[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]

Um, Willona, come on in.

Alvin, I'd like you to meet Willona Woods.

She's a friend of the family's.

Hello.

Hello.

I hope you're going jogging.

Huh?

Jogging.

[CHUCKLES]

[IMITATES CHUCKLING]

Thelma, you didn't mention

that one of your roommates was a man.

Willona, I grew up in the same house

with two brothers.

What's the difference?

There's a big difference, honey.

Oh, Karen, I'd like you to meet--

Don't tell me, don't tell me.

You must be Mrs. Evans.

Marvelous to see you.

You know, you look just like your daughter.

Karen, this is my friend Willona.

Whatever.

Um, this is my roommate, Karen Clay.

How are you, Karen?

Thelma, I got these boxes here.

Where do you want me--?

Well, well, well.

You didn't tell me the apartment came with

built-in delectables.

The clarinet with feet is my brother J.J.

This is Karen. Hi.

Enchanté, señorita.

Oh, my goodness.

Ah, Willona, come on, let me show you around the place.

Okay.

Uh, take the long route.

Go by the river.

I guess by now, Thelma told you

that I'm an artiste.

Painting is my game.

Do you have your own studio?

No, I gave up my big, three-block studio

down in the loop

for a high-paying position as an advertising executive.

Heh-heh-heh. Sell out!

I bet you enjoy duping the masses

into buying worthless garbage they can't even use.

It's people like you

that should be put up against a wall and shot.

Uh, lady, I just draw pictures.

What you think? How you like my place?

Well, it's, uh, full of stuff

and, well, it's, uh...

I guess you'd say it was cozy.

[SCREAMS]

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

This is Bear.

Our other roommate.

Uh, hi.

Ahhhh!

Oh, Willona, I know what you're thinking.

I'm thinking I might never use that hand again.

Thelma, honey, listen now,

if cuckoo-eyes sleeps in one room,

and you and Bubbly Bert sleep in the other room,

Where does Bear sleep?

Anywhere he wants to.

Willona, there's really nothing to worry about.

You see, the four of us are just roommates.

Hey, I'm hungry. Ain't we got

nothin' to eat in this house?

Bear, don't you touch my frog!

Frog? In the refrigerator?

Sure. I'm a biology major.

Hey, would you like to meet Thor, my tarantula?

Wait, I'll get him.

I think I'll, uh... I'll wait for you downstairs.

You mean to tell me the big advertising genius

is afraid of a little bitty spider?

Uh, the only thing I wanna see

with eight legs are The Pointer Sisters.

Thelma, I got to go home too, honey.

Okay. You take care of yourself,

do your homework, eat well, if you need anything, call me.

You know where I'll be.

Willona, you sound like a mother.

Do I? Ain't that terrible?

Wait a minute.

I am Penny's mother.

And us mothers got a strong union.

Oh, Willona, I love you.

I love you too, honey.

Take care, y'all.

This here is Thor.

Hey,

where did everybody go?

You mean to tell me we ain't got nothing to eat

in this house? Oooh!

Hey!

Isn't Thelma ever coming home?

Well, Penny, right now, Thelma's happy where she is.

Yeah, she has her own friends and her own life, baby.

She's been gone for three weeks now

and I wish I could tell her I miss her.

Oh, sugar, we all miss her,

but it's important we don't let her know.

Why not?

Well, Penny, because we don't want Thelma

to think that we miss her. Mm, hm.

Why not?

Well, because it would

make her unhappy. Mm, hm.

I don't understand.

That's because you're not a grownup.

Boy, life is a lot more simple when you're a kid.

Uh, let's get back to the cookin'.

What's next?

"A quarter teaspoon of pepper."

A quarter teaspoon of pepper.

Quarter teaspoon...

That's about a quarter teaspoon?

Yeah. Okay.

"A dash of hot sauce."

You put the dash in, honey.

Okay.

That's good. That's good.

And what do I do now?

"And stir until..."

Okay, stir until...

Until what?

"Stir until..." continues on page six.

Well, turn to page six.

Find page six, honey?

There is no page six.

Then what do we do now?

What do you mean "we," Betty Crocker?

Hi, everybody!

[IN UNISON] Thelma!

I thought I'd just drop by 'cause

I was in the neighborhood

and pick up the rest of my things

How you doing?

Well, um, I'm doing fine, great.

I couldn't be better. Good.

I bet you things are just not the same

around here without me, huh?

They sure aren't. We really--

What Penny means is that we've been so busy,

honey, we haven't had a chance to even realize

or notice you was gone.

Yeah, Thelma, you know, it's the first time in my life

I've ever had a bed all to myself.

Uh, well, I see you guys are getting ready to eat.

Maybe I came at the wrong time.

Uh... No, honey, come on.

I cooked, we got plenty. You can have some.

That's all right.

I got dinner waiting for me at home, see, so...

What I'll do is just go get my things, you know?

Okay, Penny, let's serve up the stuff.

Get the chili bowls...

Get out of here.

What have you done to my room?

I've given it something it's never had before, Thelma.

Class.

J.J., you call Lola Falana on the ceiling, class?

And what's that old fake fur doing up there on the wall?

Thelma, I'll have you know

that is 100 percent

genuine

imitation zebra skin.

Oh, my goodness.

Where's my bed and all my furniture?

Everything's gone!

Honey, nothing is gone.

We put it all down in storage in the basement.

That's right, 'cause it was cluttering up

my room.

What do you mean, your room?

Well, I guess it is your room now, huh?

Well, I gotta run.

Thelma, you sure you won't stay and have some dinner, honey?

No, uh-uh. It'll be okay.

I'll call.

Okay, you take care of yourself, you hear?

Come on, baby, let's eat.

Oh, boy, we miss Thelma and we didn't even tell her.

I bet she missed us and she didn't tell us.

Are you sure you grownups know what you're doing?

Well, I'm home.

Ooh, girl, you missed a great dinner,

but we saved you some.

Oh, good, 'cause I am starving.

Where is it?

The Bear ate it.

Again?

Thelma, your share for this week's

grocery bill comes to $15.90.

For what?

I didn't eat nothing.

Look, we all take our chances with the Bear.

Well, that's all right.

I gotta study anyway.

[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING]

Bear! Would you mind doing that someplace else?

I'm trying to study.

Thelma, I go where the music takes me.

Oh, Thelma,

your share for this month's phone bill comes to $23--

Oh, now, come on. That's ridiculous.

I didn't make no calls to no Bowlie, Oklahoma,

or anywhere else long distance.

Look, we split all bills equally four ways.

How can I use the phone when I can't even find it?

Look at this place!

Now, I know I cleaned it up from top to bottom

before I left this morning.

Uh-huh, and you did a good job too.

Look, Paul's coming here in a few minutes.

Do you think there's a possibility

that somebody else can clean up for once?

Well, you don't have to shout.

Who's shouting?

Bear!

Get out that bathroom now!

[DISCO MUSIC PLAYS]

[MUSIC CUTS OFF]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Oh. Hi, Thelma.

Hi, Paul, how you doing? Okay, okay.

Come on in.

Hey, I really like your new place, Thelma.

I think.

Uh, look, I brought you a little housewarming gift.

Ha-ho! Chocolate cherries.

Chocolate cherries?

Whoo-hoo!

Chocolate cherries! Mm.

Here, Alvin, have some.

I don't mind if I do.

What you doin'?

Will you stop it!

Get outta here. Will you--

I must say...

What--?!

Thelma, you didn't tell me we were having company.

Haven't we met somewhere before?

No.

But you look familiar, uh--

Well, she ought to.

She's wearing my blouse.

Uh, would you mind taking it off?

If you insist.

Wait, no, not here!

Hi, I'm Karen.

Uhhh, would you like some candy?

Ooh, chocolate cherries with the gooey centers!

Did you bring them just for me?

Uh, no, I--

No, he didn't!

Now, if you don't get outta here,

I'll have something just for you.

Well, time to go.

Oh, don't go.

All right! All right!

Thor's gone!

Has anybody seen my tarantula?

I'm going. Thor?

I'll call you. I'll call you.

I'll call you as soon as I can.

You know, Thelma, he's kinda cute.

Look, I don't dig you flirting with my boyfriend.

You got that?

Look, baby,

in this pad we share everything.

Well, then, good.

Maybe you'd like to share some chocolate cherries.

[KNOCKING]

Oh, J.J., what are you doing here?

I brought the rest of the stuff from the basement.

You're lucky, the rats only ate half of it.

Oh, J.J.!

Thelma.

Now, I know I have this uncanny effect on women,

but you're my sister.

There, there, Thelma.

Tell brother J. what the problem is.

Oh, J.J., I'm a failure.

Thelma, how can you say that?

I guess I was wrong.

I just wasn't ready to try my wings.

I left two people I really love

to move in with three cuckoos.

Thor? Tho--

I still can't find my tarantula.

Thor?

Uh, look here, bro.

Either your spider is over here

or your shirt's going to the laundry by itself!

Thor!

Come to papa. Yes, I still love you.

I just can't believe this. I really can't.

Thelma, I never thought I would say this,

but I've finally found somebody's cooking

who's worse than yours.

Willona's.

Thelma, will you come home?

J.J., you don't want me. You're just saying that.

No, Thelma, I really mean it.

Will you come home?

I can't.

Pretty please.

What about you trying to run my life?

All right, Thelma.

I promise I won't ever try to run your life again.

Good.

Now get this.

You get Lola Falana off the ceiling.

You get that fake fur off my wall.

And get all my things put back into my room

where they belong

because, J.J...

I'm coming home!

[***]

* Just lookin' Out of the window *

* Watchin' the asphalt grow *

* Thinkin' how It all looks hand-me-down *

* Good times * * Hey, yeah *

* Good times *

* Keepin' your head Above water *

* Makin' a wave When you can *

* Temporary layoffs *

* Good times *

* Easy credit Ripoffs *

* Good times *

ANNOUNCER: Good Times was videotaped in front of a studio audience.

* Good times *