Original subtitles

* Good times *

* Any time You meet a payment *

* Good times *

* Any time You need a friend *

* Good times *

* Any time You're out from under *

* Not gettin' hassled Not gettin' hustled *

* Keepin' your head Above water *

* Makin' a wave When you can *

* Temporary layoffs *

* Good times *

* Easy credit Rip-offs *

* Good times *

* Scratchin' And survivin' *

* Good times *

* Hangin' In a chow line *

* Good times *

* Ain't we lucky We got 'em *

* Good times *

All right, Penny, we have to go now.

Say goodbye to these nice people.

Goodbye, everybody.

Mrs. Gordon, wait.

We couldn't help but notice

all those bruises on Penny's back.

Oh, those. Penny's at the awkward age.

She's always falling down. Isn't that true, dear?

Didn't you fall down?

Uh...uh-huh. One time I fell out of the tree

and I landed on my pussycat and, uh, I squished him.

That pussycat sure leads a tough life.

Uh, what about the burn on her arm?

Uh...I told them I bumped into a stove, Mama.

You know, I have told Penny a dozen times

to stay away from that stove, but she--

That stove should be locked up before it kills somebody.

Thank you for having Penny over.

Bye. THELMA: Bye-bye, now.

"Isn't it true, dear? Didn't you fall down?"

Who does that sucker think she's foolin'?

Yeah, if she fell, her mother helped her down.

Now, wait a minute, J.J., why are you accusing her mother?

What? I mean,

maybe Penny's telling the truth.

Yeah, and maybe Andrew Young's afraid to open his mouth.

J.J., we have no proof. Penny said she fell.

You'd say you fell down too,

if your mother was Muhammad Ali.

Oh, that poor child. Black is beautiful,

but not when it's black and blue.

Yeah, it's tough enough living in the ghetto

when you're in one piece.

J.J., I read that child abuse

doesn't only happen in the ghetto.

I mean, rich parents abuse their kids too, you know.

Yeah, but rich people don't have to do the beatin'.

They get their chauffeurs to do it for 'em.

Hi, everybody. Hey, big man,

how's the carnival goin'?

Crazy. Did you get the chairs

from Ferguson's Mortuary?

No, Thelma. Mr. Ferguson rented them out last night

for a Weight Watchers meeting.

And today they're all being glued back together again.

Boy, leave it to that Ferguson to turn a quick buck.

Gramps, why don't you try the church. They'll let you

borrow some chairs. Yeah.

You know, I never realized there'd be so many problems

in putting a carnival together.

The prizes haven't come yet, and the guy we hired as the

security guard is in the slammer.

Why?

Well, he got arrested for writing

obscene words on school property.

That's terrible. MICHAEL: I know.

He misspelled two of them.

Petty problems, Miguel, petty problems.

Now, if you have any executive emergencies,

feel free to call on me.

All right, I'm calling on you now, brother.

Here are two tickets, so give me $2.

You mean me? The brother of the chairman of the festival

has to pay to get in?

Today, please.

That's like one of the Ringling Brothers

having to pay to get in the circus.

Come on, J.J., it's for charity, and the money goes to buy books

for the school library. Thank you.

All right, all right. Thelma, pay the man.

Thank you, Brother J.

Hey, Thelma, you about ready for that kissing booth?

Yep, I got my lips and my lip gloss.

But you didn't tell me

how much you want me to sell my kisses for.

Thelma, be ready to make change of a dime.

Who-o-o...

You know somethin', if you were in there,

it wouldn't be a kissing booth.

It'd be a House of Horrors, you ugly monster!

Hold it, hold it! Referee Willona calls it a draw.

Okay, move, move.

Where's Penny?

Her mother came and picked her up.

I just hope she's too beat to beat on her anymore.

Beat on her! You mean her mother does that to her?

Yes. No.

We didn't actually see it, but I'm sure she did.

Well, then you're talking about alleged child beating.

Here's the way it comes down, Michael.

The alleged mama took her alleged fist

and hit the little kid's alleged back

and left a mess of alleged bruises

that were legibly clear.

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

See who that is. Thelma's too lazy to move.

Oh, Willona.

It's nobody. Just Bookman.

Okay, folks, don't just stand there. Give me a hand.

Oh, that's very funny. Very funny.

Okay, I got a delivery here for Michael Evans.

Oh, good! These are the prizes for the carnival games.

Hold it, Booga. I got a tip for you.

Hey, I couldn't possibly accept a tip.

Here's the tip: Go to Michael's school carnival tomorrow.

Here's a ticket, and give me a dollar, Bookman.

Thank you.

I don't believe it. You all done tricked me again.

Oh, no. We didn't trick you, honey.

Thank you for the dollar, sucker.

Oh, Michael, these are so cute.

Hey, thanks, Thelma.

Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Now, this ticket says come in costume.

What am I supposed to do about a costume?

Hey, Bookman, just grab a basketball

and come as the Harlem Globetrotters.

[ALL HUMMING THEME TO "SWEET GEORGIA BROWN"]

Okay, now, how would you feel when your mother comes back

off her honeymoon and found my favorite tenants

out in the street.

[ALL CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]

Hey, y'all gonna have any sweet potato pie at the carnival?

You know, I better count these teddy bears.

Knowing Bookman, he probably ate one.

You know, Willona, I wanna be extra special for the carnival.

What should I wear? Try a paper sack over your head.

Why don't you try shutting up! You got some nerve!

You make me sick! Get out, you ol' banana-head!

Just keep on movin', you old Chihuahua face!

Hey, J.J. Man, I gotta check inventory to see

if all the prizes are here. Wanna count teddy bears?

Michael, I said I would help you with executive emergencies.

Now, if the word ever got out

I was helping you count teddy bears,

I'd lose my seniority at the water cooler.

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

Hi, Penny. I forgot my costume.

Oh, here it is.

Hey, where'd you get all those teddy bears?

Oh, would you like one?

Yeah.

They're for the carnival. [LAUGHS]

What's so funny?

This teddy bear looks just like J.J.

Let me see that.

See, it's got J.J.'s eyes.

No, it doesn't.

It's got J.J.'s smile.

No, it doesn't.

And feel here. It's all fuzzy between the ears.

Now you're talking about J.J.

I like you, Michael.

I like you too, Penny.

Hey, you know, I got a great idea

for something we can both do together in the carnival.

Why don't we pretend we're Sonny and Cher.

You mean we're gonna get a divorce?

[LAUGHS]

No, Penny, we're gonna do what they do on TV.

Oh. I've been watching Sonny and Cher

ever since I was a kid.

Oh, yeah? Well, Cher, how would you like to sing

with the world's greatest Italian lover?

I'd love to, Sonny, but Dean Martin isn't available.

* They say we're young And we don't know *

* Won't find out Till we grow *

* Well, I don't know If all that's true *

* 'Cause you got me And, baby, baby, I got you *

* Babe, I got you, babe I got you, babe *

* I got you *

Cute, Sonny. Greedy, but cute.

Hey, Michael, what do you think?

Sis, you're gonna knock 'em dead.

All right, that's gonna cost you.

The kissing booth just opened.

Well, I can't say it wasn't worth it.

Here's my dime.

Can I have my change, please? Aw, Michael.

Where's J.J.? He's still in the bathroom.

I'll get him. Hey, J.J., man, come on out of there.

I got a million and one things to do at the carnival.

And don't forget, we gotta pick up Penny.

In a minute, Michael!

MICHAEL: All right.

Voilà!

What is that?

I think it's a UFO.

Unidentified Fool Object.

I am Captain J.J. from the planet Ghettow.

I'm straight as an arrow and right on course.

Don't mess with me 'cause I am known as the Force.

Hey!

* Dance, gypsy, play, gypsy Dance, gypsy, yeah *

Madam Willona here. I read the past.

I read the future.

And I accept all presents.

Willona, you look great.

Thank you, my darling.

Just the gypsy in my soul food. All right.

* Play, gypsy, dance, gypsy Hey! Hey! Hey! *

Hey, J.J.

Why are you the only one here not dressed in a costume?

Oh, oh, oh, oh. I get it. I get it.

You're going as a gumball machine.

If the Force don't get movin', we'll be late.

Yeah, don't forget we gotta pick up Penny.

Come on.

Penny!

Baby, what happened?

What happened? [SHRIEKS]

Oh, my God, her mother's broken her arm.

Room Number 4. The doctor will be right with you.

Can I help you?

We'd like to see a doctor.

Well, have a seat and fill this out.

We have to see a doctor right away.

Well, whatever's wrong with him,

he's gonna have to wait his turn like everybody else.

It's not me. It's the little girl.

Well, have a seat and fill out the form.

It's an emergency. Her arm might be broken.

Lady, these patients aren't here for a cocktail party.

They're all emergencies.

Let me handle this.

Hello there, mama.

Wait your turn.

Obviously you have no concept of who you dialogin' with here.

I am J.J. Evans--

--M.D.

Doctor of Medicine?

No, Dazzler of Mademoiselles.

How would you like me to introduce you

to paradise tonight?

And how would you like me to introduce you

to a tongue depressor right now?

I hope your dog dies.

Come on, Willona, let's fill out the forms, here.

What's the matter, sonny. Did your spaceship crash?

What is wrong with the little girl?

It's her arm. She's been beaten.

Animal! You ought to be ashamed of yourself!

Hey, hey, hey.

Mr. Edwards, Room Number 3, please.

You can let the little girl have my turn.

Uh, I'm sorry, I can't do that. You know, rules are rules.

[YELLING IN SPANISH]

What's that supposed to mean?

Let's just say that means the hell with the rules.

Sí, bestia.

All right. All right. The doctor will see you now.

Oh, terrific.

Just the gypsy and her kid here.

Hello there, sweetheart. What's your name?

Willona Woods.

No-o-o, I meant the little girl.

Penny.

Penny, that's a nice name. I'm Dr. Blake.

Here, let me take that.

Why don't you sit up here on this table

so we can have a look at that arm.

How'd it happen?

I fell off my skateboard.

Honey, you know that's not what happened at all.

Now, Mother, let Penny tell me.

I'm not her mother. I'm Willona Woods, the neighbor.

Doctor, this child's been beaten.

Is that true, Penny?

Uh-uh. I fell off my skateboard.

Penny!

Does it hurt you when I do this?

A little.

Can you wiggle your fingers like this?

Good, good.

Now, let me see you make a fist.

Good. How about bending your elbow?

Mm-hm. Fine, fine.

Well, I'm pretty certain it's not broken.

But just to be sure, we'll take an x-ray.

Of course, we're gonna need her parent's permission.

Well, she only has the mother,

and her mother's the one that did this to her.

Look, I see children with bruises all day long.

They fall off skateboards, swings, monkey bars.

You know how it is.

Falling down is part of growing up.

Doctor, look, if you don't believe me,

take a look at the child's back. I mean, look at her arm.

Have her mother make an appointment.

Doctor, what does it take to get through to you?

I just told you the child was abused.

Do something about it, Negro!

Now, look-a here, mama. Don't come flappin' at me.

As a doctor, I am compelled by law

to report every case of child abuse.

So don't come in here telling me

about what I already know better than you.

You gotta make a report. Report it.

Can you prove that this is child abuse?

Hey, look. These marks here are not tattoos.

Did you see how they got there?

Well, no.

Then I heard all the fat-mouthing from you

I wanna hear. You didn't see the child get beaten,

and neither did I.

Do you know how difficult it is to prove child abuse in court?

I'm a doctor, not a lawyer.

And you're also a creep.

Good day, Miss Woods.

Come on, Penny.

You want my professional opinion?

You better get yourself a heart transplant,

'cause, baby, you need one.

Penny, if you don't tell us the truth, we can't help you, honey.

Yeah, Willona's right, Penny. You got to tell it like it is.

Okay, I will.

These cookies are stale.

J.J., help.

She's right, Willona. These cookies are stale.

J.J.!

That's right, Penny, you gotta be straight with us now.

You didn't fall off your skateboard, did you?

J.J., I'll tell you the truth, but it's only 'cause I love you.

I didn't fall off of my skateboard.

What really happened was that I--

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

I guess I'd better tell you later.

[KNOCKING]

There she is, officer.

That's the woman that kidnapped my child.

Kidnapped! What the hell are you talkin' about?

Look here, officer.

On behalf of my neighbor, I demand an explanation.

Shut up, you.

That's a good enough explanation for me.

Miss Woods, we have witnesses

that saw you take the child somewhere.

Without my permission.

Well, the truth is, officer, I took the child to a doctor...

because her mother here almost broke her arm.

How dare you accuse me.

You don't have to believe me. Ask Penny.

Penny. Penny, honey, I never touched you, did I?

No, Mama.

There, you see? Come on, officer.

That woman has been abusing that child!

Now, wait a minute. Did you actually see her do it?

Well, no, but look at the child's back.

Lady, look. I'm just a cop on the beat, not a doctor.

If you stop meddling and-- I'm makin' it my business!

Hold it, both of you.

Now, look, if this happens again,

I'm gonna have to run you in, okay?

Come on, Penny.

Uh, look here, officer. I think I can clarify

this whole situation.

You can't clarify that outfit you're wearin'.

Yeah, but look, officer. See, what actually happened--

Now, just shut up. One more word

and I'll arrest you for trying to impersonate a Twinkie.

Well, that cop is lucky he left when he did.

I can't believe that woman.

I mean, accusing me of kidnapping Penny.

And the people I thought we could depend on

like the police and the doctors...

They're sweepin' the whole mess under the rug.

Yeah, and the rug keeps getting lumpier.

[PHONE RINGS]

Chello?

Oh, Willona, it's for you.

Hello?

Oh, Dr. Blake.

Miss Woods, ever since you left the office,

I've been thinking about you.

Oh, well, isn't that a coincidence.

I haven't been thinking about you at all.

I deserve that cold shot.

But look, doctor's get tired too.

We're busy. We're pressured.

Sometimes we get more than we can handle.

Well, maybe I was a little rough on you myself.

No, you were right. You said some things that got next to me,

so I called the police, who referred me

to the State Department of Children and Family Services.

They're sending a social worker over to talk to you.

Oh, doctor, that's wonderful. Thank you so much.

J.J., guess what. Penny's gonna finally get some help.

Hey, how's Penny? WILLONA: She'll be okay when the

social worker gets here. Good.

But it's too bad she missed the carnival.

We raised over $360 for the new library books.

That's nice. I wonder what's happening to Penny right now.

Maybe I should go down and see what's happening.

You think Mrs. Gordon is gonna let you in?

If she don't, I'm gonna knock down the door.

If you can't, you can always use your body to pick the lock.

Thelma, how much money did you have to give in refunds

at the kissing booth?

Where is that social worker?

Willona, please don't worry. She'll be here.

Oh, you're right, honey. I'm just so worried about Penny.

Hey, Gramps, what's in the box?

Oh, Willona, these are leftovers from the carnival.

Oh, great, 'cause I'm hungry.

Twenty-two bowls with a goldfish in each.

I'm not that hungry.

[KNOCKING AT DOOR] I'll get it.

Miss Woods? That's me.

Oh. Oh, yeah. I'm Mrs. Carpenter,

from the Department of Children and Family Services.

I thought you'd never get here. Come on.

You reported a case of child abuse?

Yes, I did. This is the Evans Family.

How do you do?

Yeah, I'll take you to where Penny lives.

No, no. First I need some information.

Now-- Oh, Dr. Blake, he told me I could get that from you.

Well, the information you need is on the child's back.

And we're wasting time.

I do have to fill out these forms.

Oh. Could I have a glass of water, please?

I've been asking questions all day, and my throat is dry.

Oh. On the rocks.

Now, what is the full name of the complainant?

The who? Oh, the complainant. Me, Willona Woods.

Is that Miss, Mrs. or Ms.?

Honey, take your pick. Now, can we go?

Wait. Miss, Mrs. or Ms. Woods.

I mean, this complaint goes to the court.

I must fill it out.

Oh, thank you.

Um, middle initial?

None.

And, um, this is... where you live?

Yes.

Mmm! This is delicious.

But I did ask for a little ice.

Look here, woman, you can sit up here and suck up Lake Michigan.

Penny's hurtin'. Let's hustle our butts on over there!

Right. I really think that we should, uh, hustle our, um...

Let's hustle our butts, woman! Come on!

Here's where Penny and her mother live.

Hey, what's happening here?

Where's Penny and her mother?

She's gone. Gone?

Yeah, she packed up and took the kid with her.

J.J., what's gonna happen to her now?

[***]

* Mmm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm *

* Just lookin' Out of the window *

* Watchin' the asphalt grow *

* Thinkin' how It all looks hand-me-down *

* Good times * * Hey, yeah *

* Good times *

* Keepin' your head Above water *

* Makin' a wave When you can *

* Temporary layoffs *

* Good times *

* Easy credit Rip-offs *

* Good times *

ANNOUNCER: Good Times was videotaped in front of a studio audience.

* Good times *