All language subtitles for G.T.S05E01.The.Evans.Get.Involved.Part.1.540p.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-squalor_track3_[eng]

* Good times *

* Any time
You meet a payment *

* Good times *

* Any time
You need a friend *

* Good times *

* Any time
You're out from under *

* Not gettin' hassled
Not gettin' hustled *

* Keepin' your head
Above water *

* Makin' a wave
When you can *

* Temporary layoffs *

* Good times *

* Easy credit
Rip-offs *

* Good times *

* Scratchin'
And survivin' *

* Good times *

* Hangin'
In a chow line *

* Good times *

* Ain't we lucky
We got 'em *

* Good times *

Hey, Thelma,

I figured out exactly where
the honeymooners are today.

Oh, yeah? Where?

Yeah, well, from
my expert calculations,

Ma and Carl should definitely
be in Oklahoma City.

Or Amarillo, Texas.

Or Albuquerque, New Mexico.

Well, wherever they are,
I sure hope they call.

If you were on your honeymoon,
would you call your kids?

Michael,
if I were on my honeymoon,

I wouldn't have any kids.

You're not gonna have
any sauce, either,

'cause it's boiling over.

Oh! Well, that's good.

It's starting to thicken.

Thicken?
Thelma, lumps don't count.

The Gagging Gourmet
strikes again.

Uh, Michael,
how would you like it

if I didn't show
at your school carnival?

You'd have to get somebody else

to run your dumb old
kissing booth!

Well, that's fine with me,

'cause you can always be
replaced by a Saint Bernard.

I think you mean

one of the little girlfriends
you go out with.

Yeah, and what about
them turkeys you date?

Oh, Michael,
don't start again.

[PHONE RINGS]
You started with me.

Go answer the phone.
I'll get the phone.

Yeah, you better!
Get off my case, sister!

Hello. Oh, hi, Ma.

Aw, no, Ma,
we weren't hasslin'.

It's Ma! It's Ma!
Let me talk.

Ma, guess what.

I've been elected chairman
of our school carnival.

You're in Flagstaff, Arizona.

[LAUGHS]

That's exactly
where I said you were.

Hey, Ma, how's
the honeymoon goin'?

Michael, you can't ask
your own mother

how her honeymoon's goin'.

What'd she say?

She said, "Have mercy!"

Whoo-hoo!

[LAUGHING]

All right, let me talk,
let me talk.

Hi, Ma.

Yeah, we're fine. Uh-huh.

How's Carl?
Aw, that's good.

Hey, Ma, you know
you caught me

right in the middle
of cooking dinner.

Uh-huh, I cook dinner
every night.

Honestly, Ma, we're fine.

Guess what happened to me
on the bus today.

Hey, J.J.,
Ma's on the telephone.

There was the craziest
little girl that got on--

Ma's on the phone!

Uh-huh. Hey, Ma, J.J. just
walked in. Here he is.

Hello there, Mrs. Dixon.

Yeah, I'm talking to you, Ma.

How's married life treating you?

Ma says she felt
the earth move.

Ha-ha!

That means she and Carl
are really in love.

No, there was an earthquake.

Yeah, Ma, everything's fine.

Don't worry, I won't miss
my dental appointment next week.

Ma, you're on your honeymoon.

How come you asked me
about my dental appointment?

They're at the Grand Canyon.

Uh, Ma, can I speak to Carl
for a minute?

Hey, Carl, yeah,
Brother J on this end.

Hey, uh, look here, Carl.

Uh...you left
the ceremony so soon,

we didn't have a chance to talk
man-to-man.

You know y'all had
all those tin cans and shoes

tied behind
the back of your car.

Yeah, well, look here, Carl,

as the man
who gave away the bride

and, uh, as the number one son
around here,

I feel that it is my duty...

to tell you this:

one of them pair of shoes
was mine.

And--
Give me the phone!

Hi, Carl. Heh-heh.

Don't pay J.J. no mind.

You know, you just take
good care of Ma

and be happy, huh?

Yeah, we're gonna miss
both of y'all.

So have fun,
all right?

And if you thinkin'
about bringin'

any little babies
back in here--

Yeah, Ma, that was him again.
Heh-heh. Okay. Bye-bye now.

Oh, Ma sounded great.

Like she's really
enjoying connubial bliss.

Nothing like two people
connubiallin' together.

Hey, J.J., finish tellin' us
what happened on the bus.

Oh, yeah, Michael.
It was the funniest thing.

You know, this little girl
gets on the bus.

She don't have any money.

So this real mean bus driver
is gonna throw her off.

Oh, that's funny.

Anyway, she looks at me

with those real
"Mr. Blues City" eyes and says,

"Mister, could you
loan me 50 cents?"

Only I didn't have
any extra change.

Hmm, it gets funnier
and funnier.

So, anyway, I guess
I really felt sorry for her.

So I stood up and went
to the front of the bus.

Naturally as soon as I stood up,
some woman took my seat.

Anyway, I says to the whole bus
as I'm a-standin' there,

I says, "Er-rah-ha-ha,

brothers and sisters-a-ha..."

[HUMMING]

I says, "Brothers
and sisters-er-uh,

"you see standin'-uh
before you here-uh...

"You see standin'
before you here-uh...

"a sweet innocent child

"about to be evicted
into the cold, hard street

by the mean, cold star-a-hera-ha
of this bus."

Thank you!

I says-er-uh,

"are we going to tolerate-a
this act of pettiness?!

"I personally say no.

"Could we sleep tonight,
knowin' that this poor child

has been forced to pedestrian--"
Say what?!

Say-a, "Pedestrian...
All right.

"...the polluted streets here
of Chicago!

"I say no.

"In other words,

are we gonna turn our back
on this woeful waif?"

MICHAEL & THELMA:
No!

"Hallelujah,
brothers and sisters!

"I want y'all to e-ee-eee-eeease

"your hands down into
those pockets, purses and pants

"and come up with
the heavy cash.

"Not the jing-a-ling

"Abraham Lincolns
and George Washingtons.

"I'm talkin' about
the Benjamin Franklins,

"the Grover Clevelands.

And contribute to the salvation
of this little lamb!"

[SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]

And the funny thing
about it was,

she collected
so much money, Michael,

she was able to take
a cab home.

[LAUGHS]

Even the bus driver
chucked in a buck.

Aw, J.J., you can be
all right when you wanna be.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

J.J.:
The girl was the craziest
little girl in the world.

This is probably Willona.
She may have smelled the food.

Hi.

Is he here?

Is who here?

I don't know his name,

but he's tall, skinny
and beautiful.

Hold on now. Tall and skinny
we got, but beautiful?

Hi!

How'd you get here?

I followed you.
J.J., who is it?

J.J.,
what a super name.

It's the little girl
from the bus.

Heh. Is there something
you want?

Uh-huh, him.

Well, you can't have me.

Are you married?

No.

Then I canhave you.

[THELMA CHUCKLES]

Well, maybe she's lost.

Um...

Uh, does your mother know
you're here?

I don't have a mother.
I live with my aunt.

Oh. Well, what about
your dad, huh?

Uh, he never comes out.

He's got leprosy.

Hold on, I didn't know we had
leprosy in this country.

Leprosy is
when your fingers fall off.

I thought I saw him
lose a thumb.

[LAUGHING]

Well, uh, what happened
to your forehead?

Oh.

I was jumping rope.

* Cinderella
Dressed in yella *

Then I got hit
by the knot in the rope.

Hey, what's your name?

Esmeralda.

You were so nice
on the bus.

I want
to live with you.

Uh, you can't do that.

Yes, I can.
I'm not married, either.

You're the most wonderful person
in the whole world.

Yes, we all know this.

But, look,

we gotta take you back
to where you belong.

Can I belong with you?

I could sleep on the couch.

No, you can't do that

'cause, see, that's where me
and Michael here sleep.

It'll be a little crowded,

but I guess
Michael can stay.

Thanks a lot.

Do you people ever
eat around here?

'Cause if you do,

I wouldn't mind
being a guest.

Esmeralda,
we would love having you,

but, uh, what would
your aunt say?

What aunt?

Uh, the aunt you live with.

Ohhh.

You mean Aunt Drucilla.
Mm-hm.

Uh, I was thinking
about Aunt Elizabetty.

Poor Aunt Elizabetty.

Something happen
to her too?

She got ran over
by a popcorn cart.

Ooh, I'll never forget
her lying there,

all covered with melted butter.

Uh, er, uh,...

Why don't we have
a little dinner,

then you can tell us
where you belong,

and then I could
take you home.

Would you like that?

Dinner, uh-huh.

Going home, uh-uh.

Well, I gotta go wash up.

Where you going?

I wanna wash up too.

Uh, look here, Iz.

Uh, sometimes "wash up"
doesn't mean wash up.

Ohhh.

Then if it's
all the same to you,

I'll wait outside.

Hi, y'all.
THELMA: Hi, Willona.

Oh, girl, I am so beat today.

I couldn't even stay for dinner,
even if you asked me.

Even if you said pretty please
and put some saccharin on it.

[CHUCKLES]

Even if you begged and pleaded.

Even if you got down
on your knees

and ruined your best pantyhose
doing it.

Sure wish you'd change
your mind, Willona.

Hmm. Well, you talked me
into it.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Oh. Well, well, well,
whose little girl are you?

Her name is Esmeralda.
She followed J.J. home.

Oh, Lord, I remember the last
time J.J. was followed home.

It was by a cat,
came in the house,

went under the bed and--

You ain't gonna have
no kittens, are you?

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

I'll get it. Ahem.

Good evening, folks.

Bookman,
what do you want?

We were just gettin' ready
to eat dinner.

Look, I ain't got no time
for small talk.

One of the new tenants
reported a lost kid.

Says she never showed up
after school.

What she look like?

Oh, she's about age--
About 10.

She's about 4-foot-7.

She's wearing a red T-shirt,
blue jeans and white sneakers.

Anybody seen her?

Uh, ruh, what color socks?

Ha-ha!

What're you hiding, J.J., huh?

My booty, Bookman.

Well, your booty's wearing
a red T-shirt.

Well, I'm glad I found you.
I've looked everywhere.

You wouldn't have seen me
if J.J. was fatter.

You should have hidden
behind Bookman, Esmeralda.

Then you would have been
lost forever.

Esmer-what-a?
Her name is Penny.

Hey, you told us a fib.

Uh, Esmeralda's
my play name.

My real name is Penny,
short for Millicent.

You know, cent, Penny.
Get it?

Oh, yeah. I get it,
honey, I sure do.

My ex-husband used
to call me Willie.

That's short for: "Willona,
I'll be home late tonight."

And Bookman here
is Buffalo Butt.

Um, Penny, you didn't tell us
you lived in this building.

And what were you
doing downtown?

Um... Uh...

The school bus got hijacked.

Five kids jumped on the bus
and said:

[DEEP VOICE]
"Take us downtown."

Hold on, Penny. Wait, wait.

You don't expect us
to believe that?

Well, the truth is,

I went downtown to see
a old Mae West movie.

And I love Mae West movies.

Uh, you not puttin' us
on again are you, Penny?

[IMITATING MAE WEST]
Well, if it isn't
the men in my life,

it's the life
in my men.

[IMITATING MAE WEST]
Those are my sentiments
exactly, big boy.

[IMITATING W.C. FIELDS]
Well, that's
all well and good.

But right now,
this little chickadee's

gotta go back
where she belongs.

I wanna stay
with J.J.

But you know
you can't do that.

Hey, wait a minute,
wait a minute.

Let me handle this, okay?
Come here, little girl.

How would you like to go
bye-bye with Uncle Nathan?

Huh?

I'll buy you
a gweat big wowwie-pop!

What do you say to that?

No way,
Mr. Buffalo Butt.

Uh...

Why don't I take you home
where you belong?

[SIGHS]

I guess so.

Okay.

I'm crushed.

Mr. Buffalo Butt,

you gonna buy me a big lollipop
and take me home?

Ga-ga-goo-goo.

[LAUGHING]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Is that you, Penny?
Well, it's about time, you--!

Thank goodness you're all right.
Where have you been?

I've been so worried.
Well, it's a long story,

but Penny can tell it
better than I can.

Oh, well, thank you
so much, Mr.--?

Evans. J.J. Evans.
I'm your neighbor upstairs.

Oh, well, I'm Mrs. Gordon.
Lanella Gordon.

Oh, you must be
Penny's aunt.

Her aunt?
Why, no, I'm her mother.

Oh, but Penny said
that she--

Well, Penny, she likes
to make up stories. Heh.

I'm sorry, Mama.
I won't do it again, I promise.

But tell her about the movies.
You know:

"It's not the men in my life,
it's the life in my men."

You do that very well,
Mr. Evans.

Well, oh, maybe if I talk
to your husband,

we could straighten
this whole thing out.

Well, I'm not married.

Ah, but Penny said
that she had--

Well, heh, it's like I told you,
she likes to make up stories.

Listen, thank you so much

for bringing her home safe
and everything.

Oh yeah, sure. Bye.
Bye-bye.

Didn't I tell you to come
straight home from school?

Yes, Mama.

But you disobeyed me,
didn't you?

Yes, Mama.

[SIGHS]

You make me very unhappy, Penny.

And you know what happens
to children that make

their mamas unhappy.

I locked it.

I knew that would be the
first place you'd try to hide.

Please, Mama, I promise
I won't be a bad girl anymore.

Please, I won't be
a bad girl anymore.

Please, I promise.

Please!

Oh, no, Mama, please!

Please don't do it!

Please!

Yeah, and J.J. said something's
not right about Penny, Willona.

He says she acted sorta strange
around her mother.

[MUTTERS]

Yeah, and all those
wild stories she told.

Well, of course, J.J. could
be imagining things.

And anyway,
we shouldn't get involved.

[MUTTERING]

But on the other hand,
Ma always said

you should never be reluctant
to get involved

when a child's
well-being is at stake.

[MUTTERING]

Hey!

Guess what Alderman Davis
gave to our school carnival.

WILLONA: Let's see.
Ta-da!

Come on, nobody wants a picture
of Davis for a prize.

Prize, my foot!

This is the perfect target
for our dart game.

Let's see now.
Whoo-hoo.

Great news, great news.

The ebony prince
of pulchritude has stormed

the princess' castle.

Well, while you were
storming the castle,

I think you got smacked
by the drawbridge.

Thelma!

Oh, again!? Aw!
Stand still!

[SIGHS]

Well, I finally got
this cute little receptionist,

Charlene, to agree
to recept with me tonight.

Well, we are going out in style.

Hers or yours?

She's got the van
and I am the man.

Charlene can't be too cool
'cause she's dating a fool.

Thelma, Thelma!
Heh. Aw!

Thelma, Thelma,
that did it. That did it.

I just shortened
your left knee.

Hey, has that silly little kid
been around here today?

No.
She sure is a cute little kid.

You know,
if I had a kid like that,

I'd kiss her and hug her
and love her to death.

But I don't have a kid
like that,

so what am I talking about?

Well, I gots to hustle.

Thelma, I got it. The--
The hem is absolutely straight.

But...

The floor kinda slants.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

I'll get it.

J.J.:
If that's Charlene, tell her
I'll be out in a minute.

Hi, Penny. Come on in.
Is J.J. home?

J.J.:
I'm just freshening up!

He's home.
WILLONA: Hi.

How are you?
Fine.

Oh, look at this doll.
So cute.

Penny, why did you, uh, tell us
you didn't have a mommy?

Oh, uh, I was just pretending.

Oh, like your father
having leprosy.

Oh, come on, Penny, his thumb
didn't really fall off, did it?

It could have been his nose.

He has a terrible time
wearing glasses.

J.J.:
Here I come, my chérie.

Ready or not!

J.J.!

You're excruciating.

Well, you know.
What can I say?

I thought you were Charlene.

I'll be Charlene
if you want me to be.

Charlene's taller.

I'll be taller
if you want me to be.

Charlene is my date
for the evening.

Oh.

Hey, Penny, how'd you like

to come to our school
carnival tomorrow?

I can get you in for free.
I'm the chairman.

Is J.J. going?

I have deigned to grace

the sophomoric event
with my august presence.

Does that mean
he's going or not?

Heh. We're all going
in costume.

As you can see, Thelma here
wears her mask all the time.

Then I guess I can't go.
I don't have anything to wear.

Well, don't you worry
about a thing.

Willona just happens to have
a magic costume room.

I'll be right back.

Willona, a costume room?

Trunk of old clothes, honey.

J.J., you want to play
house with me?

I don't think so, Penny.

I'm a real dumbo
when it comes to playing house.

Why don't you
ask Michael there?

Uh-uh. Michael's gotta
play chairman.

Besides, I have to stop down
by Ferguson's Funeral Parlor

and pick up some folding chairs
he's got down there. Later.

Aw, come on, J.J.,
please.

All right, uh, Penny, but--
I'll play house with you

but just for a little while.

Okay. I'll be the mother
and you be the uncle.

Hey, Penny,
do you have an uncle?

Lots of them.

Now it's time for the baby
to go to sleep.

Say goodnight
to Celeste.

Later, Celeste.

Oh, give her a kiss.

Do I have to?

You know something,

when it comes to playing house,
you are a dumbo.

Mwah.

Now take her in your arms
and rock her to sleep.

Thelma, help me!

When I was little,

I would have loved
being rocked to sleep.

Come on, J.J., go ahead
and rock her. That'd be cute.

Go on, rock her.

* Rockabye baby
On the treetop *

* When the wind blows
The cradle will rock *

Sing.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

* When the bough breaks *

* The cradle will fall *

* And down will come baby *

* Cradle and all *

Hello, J.J.

Oh!

Ha-ha-ha!

Hello there, Charlene.

I was just helping the kid out
with her little doll.

He was playing house.

Well, J.J.,
you have a hidden talent.

And let's hope
that it stays hidden.

Uh, this here's my sister,
Thelma.

Hi, Charlene.
And our little neighbor, Penny.

Hi, Penny.

He's mine.
I saw him first.

J.J., would you mind if we got
started? We're late as it is.

Sure. Right away.
Uh, see you later, Thelma.

THELMA: All right.
Goodbye, Penny.

J.J.,
please don't go.

Uh, J.J., we're late.

I love you, J.J.
I just love you.

Uh, yeah, Penny, uh,
could I talk to you tomorrow?

You rotten, lousy kid.

It was all your fault.

If you would have been good,
he would have stayed.

You rotten, lousy kid!

Penny, look what I got you.

Used to be a mini on me,

but it'll be
a beautiful gown on you.

Isn't that beautiful?

Thank you, Willona.

It's so pretty, isn't it, J.J.?

J.J., come on.

Yeah, in a minute.
Uh, it is pretty.

Want to see it on me?

Hold it now.

First we've got
to take off your sweater.

Don't go away, J.J.

Honey, uh, what happened
to your arm here?

Uh, uh, I think
I burned myself.

Hey, how could you burn
yourself like that?

Um, I tripped over my pussycat
and I fell against the stove,

and there was a pot cooking
with hot chocolate,

and it spilt all over my arm,
with marshmallows.

Uh, you never told us
you had a pussycat.

I don't believe this.
Now it's pets.

J.J., are you coming
or aren't you?

Look here, mama, you ain't
double-parked out there.

I mean,
first things first.

You can see Penny's
hurtin' here,

so just take a number
and wait in line.

Well, I never--!

And at this rate,
you never will.

I'm sorry, J.J.

Well, that's all right.

She was just your normal,

everyday groovy, foxy,
fantastic lady.

But you, kid,
you're something special.

Oh, no!

WILLONA:
Oh, my God, Penny,
what happened?

Uh-- Uh, I fell.

I always fall.

My feet are all thumbs.

Come here, babe.

Now, uh, Penny, I, uh--

I know that you like
to pretend.

But I want you to tell me
the truth, okay?

Who burned you?

Honey,
who beat you up?

Who did those
terrible things to you?

Penny, tell me, who did this?
[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Hello there. I've come
to take Penny home.

Honestly, Mama,
I didn't tell them anything.

I didn't say a word.
I didn't tell them anything.

Uh, te-- Tell them about what?

What would you have
to tell them?

[***]

* Just lookin'
Out of the window *

* Watchin' the asphalt grow *

* Thinkin' how
It all looks hand-me-down *

* Good times *
* Hey, yeah *

* Good times *

* Keepin' your head
Above water *

* Makin' a wave
When you can *

* Temporary layoffs *

* Good times *

* Easy credit
Rip-offs *

* Good times *

ANNOUNCER:
Good Times was videotaped
in front of a studio audience.

* Good times *