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* Good Times *
* Anytime You meet a payment *
* Good Times *
* Anytime You need a friend *
* Good Times *
* Anytime you're Out from under *
* Not getting hassled Not getting hustled *
* Keeping your head Above water *
* Making a wave When you can *
* Temporary layoffs *
* Good Times *
* Easy credit Rip-offs *
* Good Times *
* Scratching And surviving *
* Good Times *
* Hanging in A chow line *
* Good Times *
* Ain't we lucky We got 'em *
* Good Times *
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
Chello?
Dy-no-mite Greeting Card Company.
J.J. Evans, resident president speaking.
Yeah, we're the company
that makes the black greeting cards.
Yeah, you want a dozen Washington birthday cards?
Is that George or Booker T.?
Okay, you'll have them tomorrow. Bye.
Well, Damon, we just got another order.
Hey, that's great, J.J.
Man, we're really cooking, huh?
J.J., you should have been at your rib delivery job
a long time ago.
You want a lift?
I'm going to show our line to Sid's Discount Stores.
No, I've got a rendezvous
with a couple of our crack writers.
Then I'll check you later.
Hey, look here, crack writer.
Michael, how you coming along with that black sympathy card?
Everything's coming along great, J.J.
On the outside, the card's gonna say...
[CLEARS THROAT]
"Expressing our sympathy on the loss of your Cadillac."
And on the inside, it's gonna go like this--
"Hot dog, you had a hog,
"your fortunes were really blessed.
"We just hope that you can cope
since it's just been repossessed."
A couple more like that, Michael,
and I'll be able to quickly repay the money I got
to get this business going.
Thelma, how are you coming along
with that St. Patrick's Day card?
Oh, I only wrote one little verse.
Well, let's hear it, my little leprechaun.
Well, um...
"Hello, St. Patrick, a big welcome back.
It's a good thing you're Irish instead of black."
Wait, now...
"Because people would stare wherever you'd go
and say, 'Who's the dude with the green Afro?'"
[CLEARS THROAT]
Thelma, forget St. Patrick's Day.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
Mm-mm-mm. Mm.
Chello?
Dy-no-mite Greeting Card Company.
J.J. Evans, resident president speaking.
Oh, hello, Mr. Jason.
Oh, yeah.
I know I'm more than an hour late,
but I'm on my way.
Yeah, you say you're up to your what
in orders of ribs to go?
Well, why don't you
get Ferguson's Funeral Home to deliver them?
Yeah, they're used to delivering cold ribs.
Just jiving.
Just jiving.
Yeah, I'm on my way.
Okay, bye.
Well, I've got to keep on keeping on, y'all.
Get off to work here.
THELMA: Okay.
MICHAEL: All right, J.J.
Find out what's happening.
Well...
Whoo, looky, looky, at this little brown cookie.
I'm looking for Mr. James Evans, Jr.
Well, look no further.
I am James Evans, Jr.,
known far and wide as "the beige rage."
Karen Casey. I'm an accountant.
The Minority Business Office asked me to come over
and help you set up your books.
Oh, yeah, we've been expecting you,
but when they said an accountant,
I thought you'd be a bald-headed,
shriveled-up old man with glasses.
Well, Damon, you go to your accountant,
and I will go to mine.
The Dy-no-mite Greeting Card Company
has three partners, Miss Casey.
I'm Damon Stevenson, the super printer,
Curtis Gordon is our super salesman,
and the artwork is handled by J.J.,
the super weird.
Enough of the small chitchat.
Why don't me and you
go down here with the books
and discuss the, uh...
figures.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Preferably, we can, uh...
start with yours.
No, Mr. Evans,
you just give me the books,
and I'll do it all myself.
Well, our ledger and financial data
is right there.
Thank you, Mr. Evans.
Uh-huh.
[CHUCKLING]
Well, it's time for me to get to the job
that pays the rent around here.
I'll talk to y'all later on.
MICHAEL & THELMA: See you later, J.J.
Ooh, kids, I'm so glad you're all here.
I want to read to you the Mother's Day card I wrote.
Oh, but Ma, I'm late for work.
Oh, but this will only take a minute,
and it's gonna sell millions, it's so original.
On the outside it says, "Happy Mother's Day, Mom."
Oh, that's original.
[CHUCKLES]
And then you open it up,
and it says,
"To a dear, sweet, wonderful mother,
"who nursed me and burped me
when I was a baby..."
That's great, Ma.
"Who, as my first birthday passed,
kept me dry and fondled me with love..."
Oh, Ma.
"Who, after I was 2,
"patiently taught me to talk, walk,
and feed myself."
Oh, Ma.
"And who, when I reached the tender age of 3--"
Uh, Ma, hold it.
Hold it.
But I'm not finished.
Uh, Ma, that makes Roots
sound like a "Bicentennial Minute."
I guess it is a little long.
Ma, don't worry. The thought is there.
Thank you.
Yeah, we can always edit it.
Yeah, Ma, you gotta poe-cize it.
Get it down to something like this.
"As a child,
"I was glad I had a mother like you,
"who saw me through
"all the changes I put her through,
"but as I'm older, I'm luckier still
"that when you were younger,
they didn't have the pill."
That's not what I was thinking.
Well, Ma, we'll talk about that later.
I gotta get off to work.
Hi. Bye.
Hold it, hold it.
The boutique girls want 42 more "Goodbye, Tacky Turkey" cards.
That's wonderful.
That's great, Willona.
Ooh, whoever wrote that
is going to have a nice royalty.
I certainly will.
Okay, how does your card go again?
On the outside it says, "Goodbye."
On the inside it says,
"You told me that I was the only woman in your life,
"then I found out you had a wife.
"Now, I didn't yell or do none of that mess.
I just gave a mugger your name and address."
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
Chello? J.J.--
Oh, hello there, Mr. Jason.
Yeah. Well, I know I'm-- I'm not at the rib joint.
Well, I'm not there because, uh...
I'm here.
but I'm on my way.
I'm on my-- What?
Hand in my cow?
Oh, but wait a minute.
I'm fired?
But wait a minute, I didn't--
Hello?
How do you like that?
I just got canned.
Oh, J.J., I'm sorry to hear that.
Oh, J.J., that's terrible.
Well, come on, son, don't worry about it.
You'll more than make up for it
with these greeting cards.
No, Ma.
We can't afford to take any money
out of the business yet.
The family needed that job.
We'll manage.
Now, this is the first chance you've had
to make good money with your art.
This isn't just a hustle or a pipe dream.
It's something you can be...proud of.
Yeah, I guess you're right, Ma.
[CHUCKLES]
Well, I'll have plenty of time
to work at it now.
Thanks, Ma.
Hello, everybody.
Look who's here.
The soul version of the Goodyear Blimp.
What do you want, Bookman?
I just thought I'd drop by
to throw the kid some business, Mrs. Evans.
What did you have in mind for cards, Bookman?
"Sorry to hear about your fat?"
Very amusing.
You know, I felt I was losing touch with my tenants.
So I decided to close the humanity gap.
Honey, you could close the gap
in the Grand Canyon
by sitting on it.
That's a cold shot, Miss Woods.
I'm hip, hippo.
However, I had in mind
a card printed with this warm sentiment.
"It's from me to you,
"and it's fact, not fiction,
my very best wishes for a happy eviction."
Look, J.J., give me a break on this, man.
We're old friends, you know?
Hey, Bookman, man,
isn't that your car down there they're towing away?
I ain't got no car.
Well, it must be my mistake.
It must be Mrs. Bookman they're towing away.
I've gotta go to work,
and if I hurry,
I can hitch a ride on Mrs. Bookman.
Yeah, Ma, I have to leave too.
I'm going to the library to do some research
on black holidays. Okay.
Yeah, and I gotta go cook dinner.
All right. You're cooking?
I better do some research on food poisoning, then.
Mr. Evans...
Yes, my sweet?
Mr. Evans, have you given me
all of your assets?
Uh, what you see is what I got.
Uh, excuse me.
Excuse me, is this the, um...
Dy-no-mite Greeting Card Company?
Yeah, that's us. Uh, what can we do for you?
I'm Robert Lawrence
out of Woodruff, Clay, and Jacoby.
Oh, I'm James Evans, Jr.,
out of poverty, hunger, and pain.
Uh...
We're an advertising agency, Mr. Evans.
We offer free consultation to minority businesses
to help them compete in the marketplace.
Oh, that's great.
Over there is my partner, Damon Stevenson.
How you doing?
And this here's my mother, Florida Evans.
How do you do? Mrs. Evans.
Now, then, when we gonna get on
with doing them TV commercials?
[CHUCKLES]
Well, I doubt that this business
is quite ready for TV commercials.
But of course they're ready.
We've even got a slogan.
"For a message with soul that says it right,
"send a card from...
Dy-no-mite."
Well, uh, I'm afraid there's more to TV advertising
than slogans.
Uh, here.
If you'll just fill out this marketing questionnaire,
it'll help us determine your advertising needs.
I'll pick it up in a couple of days.
In the meanwhile,
may I take a few of your cards back to the agency?
Yeah, sure.
Uh, as we say in the advertising business,
we'll run it up the flagpole
and see if anybody salutes.
Well, as we say
in our advertising business,
let's feed it to the duck and see if it quacks.
You say that?
[CHUCKLES]
See you in a couple of days.
Uh, Ma, how you coming along with that Mother's Day card?
Oh, I was just working on it.
See how this sounds.
"I could take you to a movie,
"I could take you to a drama,
"but I'd rather take this time to say,
'Hello there, Mama.'"
Well, Ma, you're a regular Gwendolyn Brooks.
Oh, thank you.
Good afternoon, everybody.
Damon. J.J.
Hey, Carl.
Hi, there, Carl.
Florida.
Mm.
Well, now,
being an investor in this concern,
I thought I'd stop by to see how my money is doing.
It's doing great, Carl, just great.
I mean, business is a little slow now,
but, you know, we be picking up, picking up.
That's right, J.J. Give it time.
J.J., Damon, hey, everybody, we're gonna be rich.
I just made the biggest sale
since the Indians sold Manhattan.
Don't tell me you sold our company
for some jive beads.
No, fool.
I just left the buyers at Sid's Discount Stores,
and he wants our cards.
Not just for the ghetto stores,
not just for their Chicago stores,
but for all the stores in Illinois!
Whoa! Look out!
And here is his order for 10,000 greeting cards.
Ooh, 10,000.
Look out, brother!
J.J.!
You did it.
Excuse me.
Excuse me, uh,
but as your accountant, I'd better tell you...
you have to buy a lot of paper and ink
to print up 10,000 cards.
So we'll buy it.
It means you'll have to spend at least $2000.
So we'll spend it.
Not when all you have in the bank is $68.13.
So we'll lose the business.
68 dollars and 13 cents?
J.J.?
What are you gonna do?
Hey, we still got time to figure something out.
I mean, the contract says
we don't have to deliver for 30 days.
Uh, J.J., why don't you do like I did?
Go to a bank.
I went to a bank once and got a loan.
I admit it's tough,
but it's not impossible.
Carl is right, J.J.
Well, okay, but suppose I go to the bank,
try to get a loan, and they don't give it to me?
There's always the S.B.A.,
the Small Business Administration.
It lends money to small businesses.
Well, I know one thing for sure.
If we don't get the money from the S.B.A.,
and we don't get the money from the bank,
we'll get one thing for sure.
What's that, son?
It's from Bookman to us.
"And it's a fact, not fiction.
My very best wishes for a happy eviction."
I don't know why we're here at the S.B.A.
We don't stand much better chance
than we did at the banks.
J.J., I know it sounds silly
to say "cheer up"
after you've been turned down by four banks.
But what the hell? Cheer up.
It's supposed to be an equal opportunity lender.
The only opportunity a brother has
walking out of a bank with any money
is if he walks in wearing a ski mask.
That's a lot of bull.
I got money from the bank.
I didn't wear a ski mask.
I wore a suit, a shirt, and a tie.
Well, you would have left with more money
if you had worn a suit, a tie, and a ski mask.
J.J., that's the wrong attitude.
That's the right att-o-tude.
Well, I'll tell you what,
you keep your "att-o-tude" to yourself,
and while we are here, I'll do the talking.
Oh, but Carl...
No buts.
I'm the one with the cash in this business,
and I don't aim to lose it,
so keep your mouth shut.
I'll be as quiet as a little mousy.
Shh.
Gentlemen.
I'm sorry to keep you waiting,
but waiting is part of the game.
I'm J.J. Evans, the Dy-no-mite Greeting Card Company President.
[LOUDLY] Now, I'm here--
J.J.!
To introduce my, uh, financial consultant,
Carl Dixon.
How do you do?
I'm Irma Austin.
Sit down.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Now, Miss Austin--
That's "Ms."
Ms. Austin, we are here to see--
To see about some money, some dinero,some yen,
some moola, mama.
J.J.!
We... We are here to see about getting a loan.
Well, in order to qualify for an S.B.A. loan,
you must be turned down by at least two banks.
Four would be better.
Uh, well, we qualify perfectly.
We've been turned down more times
than a training bra on Charlie's Angels.
J.J.!
Well...
since 91 percent of all new businesses fold
within the first five years,
the banks have gotten a little cautious.
Cautious?
J.J...
J.J., remember the little mousy.
How much of a loan do you need, Mr. Dixon?
Two thousand dollars.
You see, we got a big order for greeting cards,
but we don't have the raw stock to fill it.
Do you have any collateral?
A-A building, equipment, a small child?
That's just my little joke, you know?
[CHUCKLES]
Your little joke.
Well, we do have a printing press--
Yeah, it's in great condition,
thanks to the po-lice.
The po-lice?
J.J.!
Uh, yeah, you see,
it was seized in a numbers raid.
Two brothers tried to flush it down a toilet,
but what happened was
when they got it down there,
it got a little heavy for the machine--
J.J.! J.J.!
Will you please be quiet?
Now, here is our balance sheet.
Oh.
Uh, profit and loss statement.
Uh-huh.
And other pertinent papers.
I see.
Well, now, uh...
Oh, dear.
You haven't been in business very long.
You don't have very much cash in the bank.
Oh, it's going to be tough.
But I think
that due to the nature of the loan,
and the, uh...
and the amount, it can be approved.
You-- You mean we've--
we've got the loan?
Oh, I'll recommend it, yes.
When do we get...
get the check?
Well...
Well, it takes at least 30 working days
to process the loan,
and then after that, about 60 more days.
That's 90 days.
We can't wait that long!
J.J...
J.J., J.J., please.
This has to be handled with delicacy and tact.
[CHUCKLES]
Why the hell do we have to wait so long to get it?
Because we don't have any funds.
You mean the government is broke?
No, no, I don't mean that.
I mean that we've used up all our allotted funds
for this quarter,
and we won't have any more funds to loan
until next quarter.
You're joking.
Okaying the loan
and not giving it to us for three months
is like handing us a life raft with a hole in it.
Well, Mr. Evans,
why don't you ask for an extension on your order?
[LAUGHS]
Ninety days is nothing.
Why, sometimes our loans are held up for six months.
No wonder so many small businesses sink.
The government is firing the torpedoes.
Mr. Dixon, that's the wrong attitude.
Ms. Austin, that's the right att-o-tude!
Uh, Carl, I think we better be going here.
Well, if you get that extension, just remember
your government's behind you.
Well, I'd rather have 'em out in front of me
where I can keep a eye on 'em.
Come on, Carl, I told you
we should have wore that ski mask.
[DOOR CLOSES]
It's been an odd day.
Odd.
Hey, J.J., are you sure
you want to print this novelty card Michael wrote?
Which one is it?
Dig this.
"I hope your marriage turns out all right,
"though you are black, and he is white.
"A lot of people might not think it's wise,
but I don't care, you're two great guys."
The kid's all heart.
Hey, Curtis, our super salesman.
What's happening? Hey, man.
Did you sell Sid on the extension?
No, he wouldn't go for it, J.J.
The order's been canceled.
You're jiving.
No, I wish I was.
Wow, what are we gonna do now?
Well, guys, what this boils down to
is I think we should do an "el foldo."
Do we have to?
Well, we can't get enough dough to print the big orders,
and the little orders don't pay the light bills.
So if we sell all the equipment in here,
we can repay all the money we borrowed from our friends.
I guess.
I guess you're right.
Well, Dy-no-mite Greeting Cards
bites the dust.
J.J., did you get the extension?
Yeah, we got extended right out of the business.
Oh, I'm sorry, J.J.,
but even though it didn't work out,
I'm proud of you.
Why? I let the whole family down.
No, you didn't.
Now, the important thing is you tried,
and look what you learned.
Yeah, I learned that if you're black,
and you can't get any green, you wind up in the red.
Hello, Mrs. Evans.
J.J., the guys at the agency went over that
marketing questionnaire you filled out
and came up with some workable ideas.
Yeah, well, unless one of them includes life after death,
you can forget 'em.
What do you mean?
Our greeting cards are going
to that big post office in the sky.
You're out of business?
Yeah, things didn't work out.
Oh, that's too bad...
but to tell you the truth, J.J.,
this could be a blessing in disguise.
[CHUCKLES]
Well, if it is, the disguise is so good
that it's fooling everybody.
No, I mean it.
J.J., you remember those greeting cards
I took back to the agency?
Yeah.
Well, I fed them to the duck, and the duck quacked.
The creative people loved them.
They thought the artwork was really something special.
Well, you know, what can I say?
They told me to offer the artist a job
if he ever became available.
Oh, is this artist available!
The job title is "junior art director."
You'd do renderings, layouts, paste-ups,
what all our art guys do when they start,
but with your talent, you'd go up the ladder fast.
J.J., that's wonderful.
I don't know, Ma.
J.J., Mr. Lawrence is offering you a career.
Now, working with your art is what you've always wanted,
and it's where you belong.
Take the job, dummy.
But Ma, I can't just
leave my partners out in the cold.
I mean, we launched this ship together,
and we're gonna deep-six it as one.
Forget it, man.
It's you they want.
Yeah, but wait a minute, man.
We're partners.
Together, the three of us.
Hey, a funny thing happened at Sid's, J.J.
Yeah, I know. You didn't get the extension.
No, uh, they offered me a job as a salesman.
Yeah, but you turned it down.
No, J.J., I-I took it.
Well, there's still me and Damon.
Well, J.J.,
until I can find a steady printing gig,
I'm gonna take this part-time job
I just copped.
Part time job?
My cow!
Hey, man, somebody had to take the gig.
It was open.
Better me than a stranger.
Anyway, it's time for me to split.
You know how crazy Mr. Jason is
about delivering his ribs on time.
CURTIS: I've gotta be going too, J.J.
Good luck on your job, man.
All right, thanks, man.
Take it easy, okay? See you later.
Okay, later on, bro.
Well, Mr. Lawrence,
looks like you got yourself a new art director.
Junior art director.
That's today.
Be at my office at 9:00 a.m. sharp,
in the morning.
Oh, he'll be there at 8:30.
See you then, J.J.
Goodbye, Mrs. Evans.
Goodbye.
Oh, J.J., I'm so happy for you,
and you should be happy too.
I am, Ma,
and if I were a greeting card,
I would read,
"The struggling and hassling have finally passed,
"the cute kid from the ghetto
has made it at last."
That's the spirit, son.
That's the spirit.
* Mmm *
* Just looking Out of the window *
* Watching The asphalt grow *
* Thinking how It all looks hand-me-down *
* Good Times * * Yeah, yeah *
* Good Times *
* Keeping your head Above water *
* Making a wave When you can *
* Temporary layoffs *
* Good Times *
* Easy credit rip-offs *
* Good Times *
ANNOUNCER: Good Times is videotaped in front of a studio audience.
* Good Times *
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