Original subtitles

* Good Times *

* Anytime you meet a payment *

* Good Times *

* Anytime you feel free *

* Good Times *

* Anytime you're Out from under *

* Not getting hassled Not getting hustled *

* Keeping your head Above water *

* Making a wave when you can *

* Temporary layoffs *

* Good Times *

* Easy credit rip-offs *

* Good Times *

* Scratching and surviving *

* Good Times *

* Hanging in a chow line *

* Good Times *

* Ain't we lucky we got 'em *

* Good Times *

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

[RINGING CONTINUES]

J.J., get the phone.

Don't worry, Ma. My secretary'll get it.

Hey, come on, Thelma. Get the phone, girl.

Hurry up.

This could be important, now.

I'm not gonna move any faster

if that phone plays "Shake Your Booty."

Uh, good afternoon, Four M, Limited.

"Four M" what? Who's this?

One moment, please.

I'll see if he's in.

It's for you, boss.

Ahem.

Ahem.

"Chello."

Four M, Limited here.

J.J. Evans,

resident president, speaking.

You know, there's something weird

going on around here.

Yep, and it answers to the name of J.J.

Oh, The Chicago Defender?

Yeah, you want a table for tonight for six?

Yeah, for the opening

of comedian extraordinaire, Tyrone Tyler.

You got it, brother.

See your face at the place.

Well, that makes every major newspaper in town

coming down tonight.

Uh-oh.

Got to make some changes here.

Can't have The Jewish Post

sitting too close to The Voice of Egypt.

J.J., what is this nonsense

about you calling yourself Four M, Limited?

That just ain't me, Ma. That's us.

See,

since I got back into the entertainment business

managing Tyrone,

I thought we ought to have a fancy name,

so I named us Four M, Limited.

Well, how come that's us?

Four M, Limited:

that's Mama, Michael and me.

Hey! What about me?

You're the fourth M, miserable.

And your brain makes the "Limited."

Yeah, that's right!

Say what you want, Thelma,

but Tyrone's our ticket out of the ghetto.

J.J., we had a showbiz ticket

out of the ghetto before,

but it turned out to be a round-trip.

Now, you can't just base everything

on somebody that delivers ribs with you.

Hey, Ma, but Tyrone's funny.

He cracks us all up down at the rib joint,

and you know what they say,

you build a better mousetrap,

and the world's yours.

And the world of showbiz is going to be ours,

because Tyrone's our mousetrap.

Well, your trap's got a weak spring,

because every time he gets up on stage,

he throws up.

I got that all worked out, Thelma.

I haven't fed Tyrone all day,

so tonight, at the club, when he gets down,

he won't have nothing to come up.

Now, J.J., Tyrone's been in that bathroom for two hours.

Is he ever gonna get out?

He's taking a bubble bath.

I'm telling you,

the man is going to be

a very, very calm performer tonight.

And a very, very wrinkled one tonight.

Hey, Michael.

How did things go out there?

Well, J.J., I think I must have handed out

at least a thousand of those Tyrone Tyler things.

Oh, yeah, Michael?

Well, tell me something, brother.

What did the people say

when you handed them the handbill?

Well, most of them said, "Who's Tyrone Tyler?"

Oh, that's now,

but after tonight,

people all over town will be mouthing the words--

"Who's Tyrone Tyler?"

Oh, Ma, look at this--

"He's flipper than Flip. Cooler than Cos.

"See Tyrone Tyler for laughs and applause.

Tonight at The Byrd's Nest."

Now, that's cute.

J.J.,

things like that cost a lot of money.

Honey, we can't get out of the ghetto

by spending money.

Hey, Ma, ain't no big thing.

You know, you just make a deal here and there.

I let the man print these up for free.

I let him in the club tonight for free.

You know, one hand washes the other.

* Pretty Oh, so pretty **

Look at me, darling. Look at me.

What do you say?

What do you say?

Oh, I say you came to remind me

it's laundry day. Oh!

Laundry, in this outfit?

Of course.

Now, how could I think

that those clothes were laundry clothes?

I mean, anybody could take one look at those clothes

and see they're not for doing laundry.

That outfit is definitely

for putting out the trash.

Oh, that is so cold.

That is so cold.

I'm only kidding.

Girl, you look gorgeous. Thank you.

Hey, Willona, if you're not busy tonight,

how'd you like to go out stepping

with the vice-president of Four M, Limited?

Ow! No sooner said than done, baby!

You know, Willona, that is a bad outfit.

I just love it.

Isn't it? It's the new peasant look.

It's not only pretty, it's practical.

Now, look at these boots.

These boots, once worn to protect your feet

when you walk through the cow barns,

serve the same purpose when you go out with

some of the jive dudes I know.

You know something, Willona?

That is just perfect to wear

to Tyrone's opening night.

Oh, yeah, honey. Front row, center. That's me.

Uh, Willona. Whoa. Yeah?

The way Tyrone's stomach acts up,

I wouldn't want a front-row table.

Hey, Tyrone, brother,

you about all revved up and raring to go?

TYRONE: I-I-I think so.

Well, he's rolling now.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Four M, Limited proudly presents

the Atomic Comic.

Let's give it up for my man,

Tyrone Tyler.

[ALL CHEERING]

J.J., where'd you get that tuxedo?

Later, Ma. Later.

FLORIDA: It looks like

it cost an awful lot of money.

Now, J.J., we got some talking to do.

Ma, please, no talking while the act's on.

J.J., how much did it cost?

150 dollars, Ma.

Oh, my Lord.

But don't worry.

It's the same tuxedo he's gonna wear

for his opening in Las Vegas.

Go, Tyrone, my man.

[MONOTONOUSLY] Good evening, folks.

My name's Tyrone Tyler,

and I'm from the ghetto.

Now, there's only one reason I'm from the ghetto,

I wanted to be near my family.

J.J.: You killing them now, brother.

I went to school right here in the ghetto,

but I got thrown out early.

The teacher said,

"if Willie has 8 cents and Theotis has 10 cents,

what do they get?"

And I said, "Mugged."

[LAUGHING]

J.J.: I can't take this much longer!

I wanted a bicycle,

but my father said I should do what the other kids do,

ride a rat to school.

Funny things happen in the ghetto.

My ma, uh...

My ma...

"Went on The Price Is Right."

...went on The Price Is Right.

My ma went on The Price Is Right,

and she had a chance to win, uh...uh...

Uh, 500 dollars.

...500 dollars, if she guessed the price of a can of soup,

and she guessed, uh...

59 cents.

59 cents, and uh...

Uh,

the right price was 39 cents,

but Ma said, "I thought

you's talking about ghetto prices."

Hey, look here, brother.

You got to tighten up on the act here.

Uh, J.J., I don't feel so good.

Just a little opening-night jitters.

All right, J.J.

Now that your "Atomic Comic"

is having another explosion,

I want to know where all the money came from

for the tuxedo and those handbills.

Hey, Ma, that's what you call in showbiz

giving credit.

All Tyrone has to do is,

when he gets to be a big star,

just tell people where he gets his clothes from.

And just what is that on your head

and how much did it cost?

This, folks, is a Homburg.

The chapeauof all successful managers.

With this hat,

Tyrone and us are going all the way to the top.

I'm going to raise some knots on your top

if you don't give me a satisfactory answer.

Now, I want to know where all the money is coming from

for Tyrone's "de-butt"

and all these fancy suits and hats.

Well, Ma, you know, see, Tyrone's one of them rare--

Good news, J.J.

I'm empty.

Well, well, well.

Then out of the house and into the night,

because here comes Tyrone

and Kid Dy-no-mite.

[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]

Well, well, well, Stanley.

You're gonna be

a very, very proud nightclub owner

because after tonight, your Byrd's Nest here

is going to be overflowing to capacity.

Maybe, J.J. Maybe not.

Now, that's if this kid is funny.

If he's funny?

I'm telling you, this man's a laugh riot.

A barrel of laughs.

And, you know, best of all--

He hasn't thrown up in two hours.

STANLEY: What?

Best of all, he's got the wildest act in town.

You know, J.J.,

a lot of good talent come through the Nest.

I mean, Cosby, Flip Wilson, Richard Pryor.

All nothing, nothing.

That's they way they'll look like after tonight,

when Tyrone explodes upon the scene.

Yeah, you know, I could've owned

a piece of them guys,

but, see, I was always a little bit too afraid

to take that plunge.

Only once, I went all the way.

My nephew, I backed him.

I spent a fortune.

Oh, yeah? Was he a good comic?

He wasn't even a good nephew.

Anyway, I feel with Tyrone, see, J.J.,

it might be a little different.

Maybe I can make a little deal.

Oh, no.

I'm sorry, Stanley.

Tyrone's 100 percent owned by Four M, Limited.

J.J., maybe you'd better think about it.

Which of them turkeys is J.J. Evans?

Hey, J.J. Evans? I'll see if I can find him.

Hold it, chump. You fit the description.

Tall, skinny, and leaning on the ugly side.

What do you guys want with him?

This scarecrow borrowed $200 from the boss,

and we're here to collect $220.

Two hund-- I only borrowed $200 three days ago.

Interest.

And we compound interest

like we break your bones:

daily.

J.J., you borrowed from loan sharks?

We prefer to think of ourselves

as a friendly service collection agency.

Yeah, if we don't get that $220 you owe us,

you going to get the friendly service.

Excuse me, Mrs. Evans.

Hey, fool.

Now, let me tell you something.

You just broke up my brand-new chair.

That's part of a set.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Right.

Now you got a matching set.

Thanks.

Would you like to have a drink?

Hi, Stan Byrd.

[CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY]

Look, why don't you thugs get out of here

and leave my son alone?

Hey, lady, it's not nice to call people "thugs."

Oh, you're right. Forgive me.

I meant, hoods.

We're businessmen.

I mean, financiers.

We're like banks, only...

if you don't pay the loan...

we deposit you in Lake Michigan.

Lake Michigan? Uh-huh.

If I don't drown,

the pollution would kill me.

Now, just

wait a minute, you guys.

Once Tyrone's a star, I'll pay you back.

Every penny! Honest, I will.

We can't wait that long.

Wait a minute, now. Wait. Maybe I can help.

Good thing you came along, Stanley, because, you know,

a half-interest in Tyrone just came open,

and it only costs $200.

$220.

Okay, all right. Now, look.

Now, if Tyrone is good, J.J.,

I'll lend you the money,

but I got to wait and see

how well he does.

Now, you guys might as well wait,

because if you do, you get paid. All right?

And if he's isn't any good?

We get you.

And personally,

I hope the kid bombs.

We'll be right over here.

Whew.

J.J., brother,

I hope, for your sake, that Tyrone is good,

because you in trouble.

I'm way past hoping.

I'm into praying.

Oh, J.J., no matter how bad things got,

this family never stooped

to dealing with thugs like those two.

Well, Ma, I tried the bank.

I told them the only collateral I had

was in cattle,

but they wouldn't lend me any money on my cow hat.

Smart answers aren't gonna get you anywhere.

You still owe them a lot of money!

Ma, don't worry about it.

After people see Tyrone tonight,

we're going to have so much money

I'm gonna be using my 5-dollar bills

to dust off my twenties.

Oh, J.J., I know you're doing this

for the family, but then again,

I hope you're not fooling yourself.

You saw how he was at the apartment.

Ma, this isn't then.

I'm talking about he's working for the big time,

which is now.

I hope you're right.

And I hope you're good.

Thanks, Mrs. Evans.

I'll do my best.

All tight, Tyrone.

Sit down, here, my man.

In a couple of minutes,

you're gonna be out there,

and I want you to knock 'em dead.

You ain't nervous, are you?

Oh, I ain't nervous.

Who are those two dudes over there?

Well, they ain't drama critics

from The Ladies Home Journal.

Well, who are they?

Just a couple of interested bystanders.

Looks like they're interested

in doing some real nasty business.

Yeah, I heard

they were thrown out of the Mafia

for fighting dirty.

Just jiving.

Just jiving.

If you're just jiving,

then why is that turkey wearing gloves?

Well, his hands get cold,

and he don't want them to chap.

All set, kid?

Never felt better, partner.

Never felt better.

I am talking to Tyrone.

Now, look, J. J.,

you and I ain't partners yet.

Now, why don't you get out there

and introduce Tyrone?

Gotcha, and Tyrone,

I want you to go out there

and I want you to kill the people!

And if he don't,

we will.

Great jokers, these guys.

So long, Tyrone.

Maestro, a fanfare, if you please.

[MUSICAL FLOURISH PLAYS]

Very good fanfare.

Doesn't J.J. look nice on stage?

Yes.

Ladies and gentlemen,

The Byrd's Nest is proud to present

a dazzling new comic,

one of "eppervescence"

and "rombosity,"

a man that is bound

to lay more dips in your hips,

more glide in your stride.

If you don't dig his best,

you got the wrong address.

Ladies and gentlemen,

need I say any more than "the Atomic Comic"?

Let's give it up for Mr. Tyrone Tyler.

[MUSICAL FLOURISH PLAYS]

Uh...ha ha.

Uh, the sound system in here, uh...

ain't that good.

Stan, make a note: new sound system.

Maestro,

another fanfare, if you please.

[MUSICAL FLOURISH PLAYS]

Yeah!

Let's put our hands together one more time,

and let's hear a dazzling round of applause

for the Atomic Comic, Mr. Tyrone Tyler.

[MUSICAL FLOURISH PLAYS, AUDIENCE CHEERS]

[CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY]

Why don't y'all just talk among yourselves

for a few minutes?

I'll be in the back...

I better see what's happened.

Where's my man?

Where is that kid, man?

Kid split.

He may not be funny,

but he does the hundred in nine flat.

My comic!

My club.

Our money?

J.J., is everything all right?

Look, nothing is all right. Nothing at all, Mrs. Evans.

Look, Tyrone has split. What am I going to do?

Wait a minute.

[PATRONS CHANTING AND CLAPPING IMPATIENTLY]

Now, look, those people are gonna tear up my club.

What are you gonna do?

[CLAPPING, CHANTING CONTINUES]

J.J., why don't you do the act?

Me? Why not?

You were better than Tyrone, and you don't throw up.

Me?

Well, look here, we got to do something,

anything-- a dog act,

two monkeys with an orange.

Me?

Look, J.J., if you do a good show,

I promise you, I will lend you the money, man.

You might as well, kid.

You got nothing to lose.

But your good looks.

Well...

okay.

Oh, good luck, son.

We'll be rooting for you.

You break a leg.

That means, "good luck."

No, break both legs.

J.J., you in trouble.

You'll be lucky if it's only one leg.

Yeah, I haven't done a ribcage in weeks.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

I'm very sorry for the delay,

but we had a little problem backstage,

but I want you to know that everything

has turned out to be very, very groovy.

Now, unfortunately, Tyrone Tyler has taken ill.

And taken off.

STANLEY: Now, however,

The Byrd's Nest promised you a new and exciting comedian,

and, baby, that's exactly what you gonna get.

Let me hear a little fanfare there.

[MUSICAL FLOURISH PLAYS]

All right, let's put it all together

for a new, dynamic comedian, Mr. J.J. Evans.

Come on,

give the man a hand.

[MUSICAL FLOURISH PLAYS]

Uh, thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

Uh,

my name is, uh,

Tyrone--

J.J. Uh, I mean, uh...

J.J. Evans,

and uh,

I'm from the ghetto.

[WEAK LAUGHTER]

Uh, I'm from the ghetto

'cause I wanted to be, uh...

I wanted to be, uh...

[WHISPERS] I wanted to be near my family.

I wanted to be near my family.

Uh...

I went to school in the ghetto, but I got thrown out.

Uh, the teacher said,

"If Theotis had 10 cents and Willie had 8 cents,

what would you get?"

And I said, uh...

I said, uh...

I said, "Mugged."

He got that right!

Uh, I wanted a bicycle,

so I asked my father,

and my father said,

"Why don't you be like the rest of the kids..."

The first full house in three weeks,

and bingo, nothing, nothing!

FLORIDA: J.J. Where's J.J.?

He'll be with you in a minute, lady.

If you've harmed him in any way--

Stay cool, lady. We're gonna get to that, okay?

J.J.!

Son!

Ma.

It's conference time.

Wait a minute. You leave him alone.

Sure, lady, for $220.

In 10 minutes, it goes up to 240.

Well, kid?

Well, I don't have the money.

I guess I'm just gonna have to fight you for it.

Don't be a fool!

Look, Mr. Byrd,

you said you'd loan him the money.

Now, I know he wasn't very good out there,

but, please, can't you help us anyway?

[SIGHS]

Oh, what the hell?

He was much better than my nephew.

Here.

You people aren't gonna break up this kid.

Nice move there, partner.

Now, it's all there.

Now, will both of you get the hell out of my club,

please?

Everybody's paying up these days,

and the only thing I get to smash

are chairs.

Mr. Byrd, thank you for loaning J.J. the money.

I'll see to it

that he pays you back every penny.

Right, J.J.?

Oh, right, Ma.

Right.

Now, I'm gonna leave you two

to work out the arrangements. All right?

Okay. All right. Thank you.

Well, Mr. Byrd, I guess I really blew it.

Showbiz ain't for me.

Oh, I wouldn't say that.

I wouldn't say that at all, son.

In fact, I still think of you

as being in showbiz.

Hey, wow. That's great!

Because, you know, I got a lot of great ideas

for the club--

whole new policy,

line of dancing girls.

I'll pick them out personally.

Well, that's not exactly what I had in mind, J.J.

Every Tuesday night, ladies' night.

I'll be out in the front greeting them.

Well, look, I kind of thought, partner,

that maybe I would be out front

and you would be, like, behind the scenes.

Oh, backstage mastermind, huh?

Even though my good looks would help out front,

but if that's the way you want it, so be it.

Partner, I tell you,

we gonna be cleaning up in no time.

Right. You can start tonight.

Mopping.

Mopping?

That's a little further behind the scenes

than I had hoped for.

Well, J.J.

Now, mopping pays $10 a night.

Now, that means we can dissolve

our little partnership in, say,

22 nights.

* Mmm *

* Just looking Out of the window *

* Watching the asphalt grow *

* Thinking how It all looks hand-me-down *

* Good Times, yeah, yeah *

* Good Times *

* Keeping your head Above water *

* Making a wave when you can *

* Temporary layoffs *

* Good Times *

* Easy credit rip-offs *

* Good Times *

ANNOUNCER: Good Times is videotaped in front of a studio audience.

* Good Times *